Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
Had a DM this mornin that made me chuckle, he asked, âHow in tarnation (I appreciate the word usage of tarnation btw đ) are you single? You poor thing.â
This is something that has been nagging at me to be talked about. I know I am not the only one out here in a similar situation.
If I had a fxcking dollar for every time I had someone ask me this or âI just canât believe youâre singleâ & then stare at me with that look somewhere between pity & âthere must be something wrong with youâ âŠđ
To all my fellow singles, especially my more seasoned or âvintageâ comrades as I like to say, I know – you KNOW.
I wanna reply with, âWell, apparently I make a really good fxckin ex-wife, & if you really wanna unpack my bag, Iâve been divorced twice & my last marriage lasted about 6 months & I almost moved to Japan.â
đđŒââïžPretty sure that would shut them up.đ€Ł
I regret nothing & my past relationship experiences have made me who I am & I love every single person I have been blessed to have been part of their lives & in a relationship with.
My most recent divorce, was handled with maturity, love, respect, & was more conscious uncoupling than the typical, divorce.
I had people reach out, & I appreciate yâallâs thoughts, but you guys were thinkin that I was devastated & destroyed like a fragile flower. Yes it was hard, any âdivorceâ is, but yâall, itâs gonna take more than that to shatter this girl.
Iâve had cattle beat the shxt out of me worse than that. Iâm so grateful to have such wonderful loving people in my life both digital & ârealâ life.
I realize I am one of the fortunate ones with no negative âbaggageâ with exes.
Why is it that we have to put such a negative connotation with, âsingleâ like itâs a bad thing?
Being single used to give me anxiety as my younger self as I used to see being partnered as having more worth & being more desirable. Thought I had to be married & then had to have kids to be seen as successful.
Now as my almost 39 self I know thatâs not the case, I see it as a blessing, a privilege, & like to refer to myself as being âself partnered.â
I have a healthy relationship now with myself & because of everything Iâve experienced & spending time being single I feel now I can be a much better partner to someone else.
We learn & grow through the contrast in our experiences. Thatâs how we learn where we need to change & what we truly like & desire.
Doesnât mean I donât LOVE & desire having someone to live life with, but I feel I can live life with whomever I choose whenever I want & I donât have to put a label on anything to justify & validify the experience – I can choose to be happy & have what I want right now without the anxiety & contractual nature of societal expectations & ânorms.â
In my experience, âcreative couplesâ are the happiest, & those couples can be married or not. The common denominators are they choose the definition, rules or lack of, & context of their relationship.
They also evolve together AND as separate people. You are still 2 separate people but should be better together. The ârightâ relationships, in my opinion, should feel like freedom, adventure, & home.
I made a promise to myself to never put someone in a box where they feel trapped to not be themselves in the fullest most authentic form. Because I would not want someone to do that to me again as Iâve had done in the past.
You should never feel like you have to get married or put a label on anything because that is what is expected of you. Thatâs why so many marriages end. You donât have to be married to be happy.
Just a tip from someone whoâs been there on both ends of the spectrum, this is a conversation you need to have with your other half because it is a dealbreaker, same with talks of children.
So all of you young 20 somethings & even some young 30 somethings that are getting married right now, here are some things to think about.
All your shxt needs to be laid out on the table no matter how painful it is or how fearful you are of being judged. And if you are seeking attention from someone else other than your significant other & your significant other is not open minded to being in an open kind of relationship â that is a red flag that you probably need to put on the brakes.
There are needs not being met & some things you most likely need to work out with yourself. And thatâs totally OK.
That is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I have been that person, it doesnât make you a piece of shxt, it makes you human.
And to me the most attractive humans are the flawed ones that can own their shxt & be honest.
Itâs OK to be what I refer to as âsingle at heart.â I feel that means if I had to describe it as people who will find their greatest fulfillment & meaning without a romantic partner.
The touchstone for people who are single at heart is authenticity. This can mean things like traveling, finding hobbies & your purpose that light you up, career aspirations, artistic creation â all these things can bring the passion of a romantic relationship.
Refrain your way of thinking.
Stop romanticizing about past & future relationships, I know itâs tempting to think that all of your problems will be solved once you meet your prince or princess but you might just be missing out on potential experiences that are right in front of you.
Take the more negative experiences as stepping stones to more confidently know what you do want. Whether itâs a bad date or you called off an engagement because you werenât ready, or another divorce â who the hxll cares. All just experiences.
Alfred Lord Tennyson, “’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.â
We fancy. Scallops wrapped in bacon?! Um, YES!⣠⣠I got mine from @target frozen. Let them thaw, drained, pat dry, wrap in @Hormelfoods All Natural pork bacon, secure with a toothpick & cook for 10 minutes. ⣠⣠Depending on your air fryer the time will vary. If you like crispier bacon you can also pre-cook the bacon for about 3-4 minutes then wrap around your scallops.⣠⣠Great as an appetizer or entree, great with butter đ§! Scallops are also one of the healthiest food you can eat. ⣠⣠3oz (84 grams) of steamed scallops are power packed:âŁ
Calories: 94âŁ
Carbs: 0 gâŁ
Fat: 1.2 gâŁ
Protein: 19.5 gâŁ
Omega-3 fatty acids: 333 mgâŁ
Vitamin B12: 18% rec daily value (DV)âŁ
Calcium: 9% of the DVâŁ
Iron: 15% of the DVâŁ
Magnesium: 12% of the DVâŁ
Phosphorous: 27% of the DVâŁ
Potassium: 12% of the DVâŁ
Zinc: 18% of the DVâŁ
Copper: 12% of the DVâŁ
Selenium: 33% of the DV⣠⣠They are an excellent source of several trace minerals too, including selenium, zinc & copper. Most people donât get enough of them.⣠⣠INGREDIENTS:âŁ
16 large sea scallops, cleaned and pat dry with paper towelsâŁ
8 slices baconâŁ
16 toothpicks⣠⣠DIRECTIONS:âŁ
Pat the scallops dry with paper towels.âŁ
Wrap each scallop in ~1/2 slice of bacon and secure with a toothpick.âŁ
Place scallops in air fryer.âŁ
Cook at 400 for 5 minutes. Turn scallops & cook for another 5 minutes at 400 until scallop is tender & bacon cooked thoroughly to preference.⣠⣠Bacon wrapped dates are awesome too if the dates donât cause any digestive issuesđđ»
âYouâre just too big to be a cheerleader, hon.â -cheerleading coach, middle school
âPretty girls are in the front, you fit better in the back.â -a mom, childhood birthday party pictures
âWell, youâre just not polished enough.â -recruiter, job fair in college
âIâm sorry I cheated, I like you, itâs just, she was prettier.â
-someone not even worth mentioning heređđ»
Naturally Iâd be lying if a part of me didnât want to tell these people of past chapters of my life they can sxck it. đ đŒââïžđ€Ł but Iâll take the high roadđ & use it to help yâall if youâve ever struggled when someone has devalued you.
People will teach you how to love well by hurting you. They will teach you how to love yourself by not loving you back. Life will teach you evolution & growth thru pain & stagnation. Pay attention to the wisdom the Universe is trying to teach you. Gold is found sifting thru gravel & diamonds are created under pressure.
Hxll, crispy airfryer meat bars were discovered by me being late to work & literally throwin the shizzle my nizzle in the airfryer basket. Now we canât live without them! đâšïžâ€ïž
In these situations I should have not taken these statements as a reflection of my worth, simply moved on, & not allowed a single encounter to take up so much energy in my heart & taint decades of my being with negativity & shame.
Iâm not sharing this for pity, Iâm sharing this because I talk to a lot of you who are still choking & drowning on past trauma/shame which are transpiring into every facet of your lives from your relationships to your body to your careers.
This world is made up of a plethora of different people with different priorities with different life situations all 50 shades of fxcked up.
Youâre not alone, the difference is how you react to what life throws at you.
People who have broken my spirit have actually led me to having more empathy, more self worth & appreciation for who I am, & the desire to reach out to all of you because I have felt what a lack of human acknowledgment & compassion can do to a person.
Know that your feelings have a real place, & this life can be so much more beautiful & grander if we let love & optimism fully into our hearts.
đđ»You donât have to have life figured out.
Age (like weight) is JUST a number. Whether youâre 18, 21, 35 or 60. At school, weâre kinda forced to study certain things, pushed into a seemingly ânormalâ routine/timeline. (College, marriage, kids, jobs, diets, etc) Donât worry if youâve done things differently or, if youâve followed that path & donât really know what to do with your life yet.
I have friends (& myself) who were married at 22 & divorced (some divorced twice). I have others who have been together since high school & are happily married with kids.
I have friends who are 35 & beyond still single & traveling, or friends who are 25 & have the âwhite picket fence.â Others are married to their careers.
Itâs cliche but you donât have to ‘find yourself’ & figure out what works for you like itâs a finish line. Itâs about enjoying the NOW & the journey of your evolvement.
Trust me, youâll be a helluva lot happier when you stop giving a shxt so much about tryna figure it out & fit into a box or camp.
Aging is a privilege. Just like all those wrinkles, stretch marks, sunspots, & âflawsâ you have. That means youâve lived!!!!
Canât fuggin WAIT for my 40âs, every year it gets better! My birthday is next Friday BTW, Iâm knockin 40âs door, Iâll be 39! Almost to cougar status.đ đ
đđ»Donât compare yourself.
We choose to share certain things on social media & people don’t know the half of it. You cannot judge 1 chapter of your life to someone elses. There’s always someone in a better & worse situation than you. Just do you.
đđ»Rainy days make flowers & rainbows.
The world is both bad & good, its called contrast. Itâs important to spread kindness & love where you can. Sprinkle it everywhere. Smiles are free. You have the power to make someones day, use your power! Donât. Be. A. Dick. (đ€Unless itâs the kind of D you want. Lol. I had to. đ)
đđ»You’re doing FABULOUS.
In case noone told you today. Every day you have the opportunity to begin again & write another page.
âYou is kind. You is smart. You is important.â
Kathryn Stockett, The Help
One of my favorite movies of all time. WATCH IT.
So there we have it.
If you needed this today, I hope it helped. As always, I love hearing yâallâs feedback and advice for others on Instagram!
A woman who knows herself & what she brings to the table is not afraid to eat alone. – me
â Literally & figuratively.
âWellness Truthsâ & Reminders for Life Iâve learned thru my healing & fitness journey. Basically everything detailed in this blog, youâll wanna take notes!
Tons of new followers on IG, WELCOME, I hope these answer all of your questions!
Iâm speaking from my experience here, remember, we are all beautifully unique & different human beings. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. You have to find your special blend.
For example, many people give advice that arenât always applicable to everyone like:
đđ»Everything in Moderation
Not everyone can moderate. I am an abstainer. Food is like a drug to me, carbs specifically. They are not the devil I just have a poor relationship with them. I do better with food rules. Moderation leads to self sabotage for someone like me. We canât have one cookie, it leads to the whole package & emotional distress â just like an alcoholic canât have one drink.
đđ»Just Eat Until Youâre Full
Some people donât know what it feels like to be comfortably full. They canât assess or distinguish satiety signals. Those do better with portion control measures, macros, food rules & eating schedules.
đđ»Just Eat When Youâre Hungry
Just like satiety cues, some people donât know when theyâre really hungry and when theyâre emotionally eating. These are skills you have to learn and they start with self-awareness. Hunger can be stimulated even when youâre not hungry simply by smelling food, seeing food, thirst, learned habits like eating in front of the TV, boredom, & stress eating.
I hope these raindrops of enlightenment can fill your cup with the nourishment you need to create your own blend & thrive. âïž đ§ đ± đȘŽ đ»
I talk about food, macros, training, all your questions & everything in between, keep reading!
REMINDERS FOR LIFE
đ»Grant yourself permission.
You are allowed to:
Feel how you feel. Want what you want. Know what you know. Sense what you sense. Crave what you crave. Be where you are & do things your way. Learn to trust yourself.
đ»Stop accepting your story if you wish for another.
Youâre not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Relax. Make a decision & master the day. Then just keep doing that every day. Decide who you are & how you react. Live a life & timeline authentic to YOU.
đ»You are the creator & the cause.
Thoughts become things. You are the creator of your world. You can create new realities inside & outside any experience. You can create ways out of or into any experience. You attract what you put out.
đ»If you donât make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.
Read that again.
đ»It gets better.
Love finds you when you love yourself & your life first. Itâs the space in between the life & love weâve lost & the life & love we hope for that we find ourselves.
đ»Leaders are readers & surround themselves with successful people.
Success leaves clues. Fuel your body & your BRAIN. Listen to podcasts, read, ask questions, get a coach or mentor. Cut out toxic people & energy vampires.
đ»Minimize toxins the best you can for healthy hormones.
This means parabans, plastics, pesticides, processed food, artificial ingredients. Ditch the Tupperware, check your beauty products, cleaning supplies, & READ INGREDIENT & NUTRITION LABELS.
đ»Move in the morning.
Workout, walk, yoga, mobility. Shoot for 10k steps/day. Increasing your NEAT (non-exercise movement) has the biggest impact on total calorie burn throughout the day. Walk after eating meals & after lunch. Set break times every 20-30 minutes. Simply get up & walk.
đ»Your body likes routine.
Set eating times & pick foods that suit your lifestyle, schedule, & wellness goals. This is different for everyone.
MY WELLNESS SECRETS & TRUTHS
đ»For me, I prefer 2 meals a day. The largest after my workout for recovery, the second late afternoon around 1-2pm. My digestion is slow & not as efficient in the evening, therefore I keep my largest meals early in the day & fast anywhere from 16-20 hours overnight depending on my work & workout schedule. I do not do extended fasting. Fasting is not a dirty word. It is simply a tool & strategy to optimize fueling your body. Just like macros.
đ»Set realistic expectations as far as fat loss and aesthetic goals. Realize a certain level of leanness is going to require sacrifices. You will be hungry. It will suck. If you want shredded abs & all the striations, stop your bitching and put in the fxcking work. That work requires MINDSET work as well. If youâre not willing to do what those people are willing to do to look that way, set another goal. As a coach myself, our job is to tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. Sometimes that means setting a new goal, eating more food, committing to a healing process, resting, and learning to love yourself first.
đ»Balancing blood sugar is the key to fat loss, feeling satisfied, & minimizing cravings. Keep meals protein & fat focused. You should not be snacking in between meals. If you feel the need to snack, your meal either didnât contain enough protein and or fat or was not large enough. I love my NutriSense continuous glucose monitor, you can snag one here for yourself! CODE: KATIECGM25 for some $$. It has helped me manage my blood sugar levels by giving me data to make more educated decisions about fasting, meal sizes, meal options, exercise intensity – ALL THE THINGS!
â Protein is the most satiating. General range: 1g of protein per body weight or goal weight for most. Avid exercisers, athletes, people lifting weights, and older people require more. Most do well spreading out around 30-50 g per meal without digestive distress.
â For carbs, most people do well controlling blood sugar regulation with meals under 40 g of carbohydrates. The less active you are the less carbohydrates you typically require. The body optimizes carbohydrates most efficiently post workout and in the evening before bed because it reduces your cortisol (stress) level and can help you sleep better.
â Nail your protein first and then determine what fuel source is most appropriate for your health needs, digestion, training and fitness goals. Your fuel sources are carbohydrates and fats.
đ»I work out fasted at 5 AM most mornings. Fasting blood glucose I like around 75-90 You can test with a simple glucometer from Amazon or any drug store or get yourself a NutriSense CGM like I talked about in above bullets. I feel best working out 4-5 days/week. Mix of cardio & strength training. Do shit you LOVE that keep you active and in the gym & take rest days. I prefer 1 active recovery day & 1 full rest day.
đ» Manage stress. Schedule self care & rest days. Sleep 7-8 hrs a night. If youâre sleeping less than 6 you did not earn your workout. My secret weapons:
â Favorite self care is coloring, writing, walking, live music, time with friends, a spa day, pedicure, working out, & a new mani via my @impressmanicure press on nails. I get them at CVS, Kroger, Target, & Meijer.
đ»I donât âtreat myselfâ or âcheat.â Food is not a reward/something to earn. I also dislike saying cheat because it implies itâs going to benefit you in some way. Cheaters cheat to win. Do you really think youâre winning by cheating yourself?
đ»I eat 2 meals/d on avg as I said before. My days off or if I can sleep in, I now eat 1 meal. You must experiment. Your experience/needs will be different than mine.⣠It takes TIME. It took me an entire year to fully adapt to an animal based lifestyle, & yes, I gained 15lbs initially. Iâve now lost around 20.
đ»Majority of meals are my Airfryer Crispy meat bars. 85% ground beef, ground chicken. Avg 2lbs of meat/d. Ground meat is easier to digest & track. I removed most pork & dairy, I donât digestâem well. I donât add extra fat often. Choose meats that are higher in fat. No I donât like organ meat, I prefer the taste of grain fed over grass fed beef.
Airfryer Crispy Meat Bars
The secret is leaving it loosely packed for the crispy exterior. Do not pack them into tight patties. Break them up into 4 to 5 sections. Chicken and turkey are harder to break up, itâs super loosey-goosey. Times will vary depending on your air fryer. I have an Instant 6qt. On Amazon favorites list, link in bio on IG.
Set Airfry, 380, 12 minutes, no preheat.
âŁđ»I stick to beef because itâs satisfying & delicious but not SO delicious I want to binge. Food addicts tend to have issues controlling carbs, sugar, sugar free substitutes, keto treats, dairy, butter, cheese, bacon, pork rinds, hyper palatable & processed meats)
đ»There are 50 freaking shades of the carnivore diet. Donât hate on other people because they include other things into their diets. We all have different tolerationâs & needs. I have a million sensitivities so I typically only season with pink Himalayan sea salt. The majority of my food is meat & eggs. Epic Brand baked Himalayan sea salt pork rinds if I need something crunchy and low carb.
đ»Rice cakes on occasion post workout or in the evening if I need them, rarely above 50g/day. I do fine on white rice, rice cakes, rice Chex cereal, & honey as far as carbs. I donât crave carbs anymore, so I rarely need a refeed day anymore.
đ»Preworkout & morning drink I enjoy @strongcoffeecompany Latte. Itâs kind of like a creamer for me. It does have caffeine. I blend about 4oz coffee, 5-6oz hot water, & 1/2 scoop of the strong coffee company latte. Use a packet of stevia if you want yours sweeter. Link in bio on Instagram. Discount code: KatieKelly
đ» I donât take many supplements anymore but I do recommend the NuEthix Formulations Brand. I have use these all throughout my healing, health, fat loss, performance â you name it journeys! Link in bio also on this website & IG. Discount Code: lilbitoffit
Feel free to message me on the gram, we can go over a supplement regimen thatâs appropriate for you.
đ»I track macros loosely. It keeps me accountable & I know where to adjust.
**Again these numbers are for ME**
I hesitate to give any specific numbers but I want to show you guys how much food you can actually eat & enjoy when you commit to healing & eating foods that work for you!
Iâm 5â1, now around 105-107, crossFit & lift 5 days a week, average 13-15,000 steps/d, active job.
Macros VARY but these are my AVG ratios: 0-5% Carb, around 30% Protein, & 60% FatÂ
I donât over complicate things or give a shit that people say, âOh my gosh if you eat too much protein youâre going to get fat because it all turns to glucose, yada yada.â Itâs better (for me & most people out there anyways) than eating boxes of pop tarts and Twinkies. Yes, too high a protein can cause issues if your fat isnât high enough on a low carb approach. Eat what you want people as long as it keeps you youâre healthiest self and you feel great. The most common mistake I see when people are trying to adopt a low-carb lifestyle is not eating enough food in general and their protein being too high and fat not high enough.
đ»YES, you can CrossFit & carnivore, CAREFULLY. Comes down to allowing yourself to fully adapt to being fat-fueled, meal timing, eating ample calories, & RECOVERY. I did a full interview on my first year on carnivore here. Please check it out it will answer most of your questions about transitioning to carnivore.
đ» Sleep=nonnegotiable. 7 hrs min. Zzyquil helps. I take it most nights because I canât shut my mind off. It is what it is Iâm transparent here. Donât you dare tell me to cut out coffee, that is a nonnegotiable for me. I am well aware of a healthy caffeine intake. I keep mine under 300 mg a day and only in the mornings.
đ»Questions about steps. Yes, I still hit 13-15k steps/dayâŁ, even on rest days, drinkin a ton of water + electrolytes, fasting when Iâm not hungry (~18hrs avg), eating when I am.âŁâŁ No extended fasts, no snacking. I like Ultima Replenisher in grape and raspberry flavor. Link in bio on Instagram as well.
âŁđ»I do drink coffee daily. Have cocktails socially. I donât typically eat & have cocktails I choose 1 or the other. Set a 2-3 drink max limit. I donât drink half as much as I used to. Some months I wonât drink it all, others, Iâll pick one day & go out on the weekend. Iâm an adult itâs my choice. I donât deny or beat myself up if I choose to be a human & drink & make memories with friends & family. Go your own way! I do feel better not drinking, duh, as most of us will. Lack of sleep, stress, & consuming food triggers cause more issues with any gut or Crohnâs flareâs for me. Alcohol on occasion, Iâm OK with. Be your own mixologist. I typically order a diet coke and ask for a shot of vodka that I mix myself. That way you have control over how much alcohol is in it.
You determine your non-negotiables. Some days itâs electrolytes & my crispy airfryer meat bars, other days itâs vodka & bourbon. đ€·ââïžWhatevs. Just be aware of the repercussions of your choices.
đ»Go get your health markers, hormones, gut stuff, bloodwork, etc tested if you feel like things are off. I canât stress that enough stop guessing.
Please feel free to reach out if you need a consultation by myself or need recommendations for other coaches more applicable to you and your needs! Fill out a basic inquiry here so I can learn about you!
Whew yâall. Thatâs a lot of brain dumping & word vomit! I hope these tidbits can serve you in a way that you need to help you be your happiest and healthiest!!
Again never hesitate to reach out to me, I live on the gram most of the time and do my best to answer each and everyone of you back!
