Month: October 2021

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A message to those who struggle & 4 tips to drag your azz out of it

I would say up until, let’s say a few years ago, it’s hard to pin down exactity (I made that word up btw), I feel I lived my life in a constant struggle.

Occasionally I still do, except now, I see the beauty & gift that comes from the grit of the struggle. We wouldn’t understand the contrast or be able to savor the warmth & joy of the good times. 

We all struggle with our own demons in some way because we’re human.

The most common messages I receive are “How do I overcome X struggle?” In one short-ISH response, I’m gonna give you the advice I would give my own children if I had any. 

Know I’m also writing this not just for y’all who are strugglin, but also to my former self & a reminder to this present woman. Advice I wish I had when I felt worthless, ugly, fat, insignificant, unloved, & like my whole world was collapsing around me & I just couldn’t dig my way out. 

When I thought darkness & scarcity & sickness was just “My Story” until I realized it was more about changing my desires & how I felt vs changing my beliefs. There’s a difference. Changing your vibration & feelings will attract what you want much quicker than simply stating a changed belief. Attraction includes the word ACTION.

Going through struggle is not about focusing on the suffering or avoidance of, it’s about embracing overcoming adversity. 

So my top 4 tips to those who are constantly on the struggle bus & hot mess express:

1. BEcome MORE
When my life kicked me in the face, one thing that always snapped me back to my desired reality: the realization that I had to actually had to BEcome MORE. I had to BE & DO who I want to BEcome.

For me, I struggled with the facade I wasn’t a significant person worth knowing or loving – BECAUSE I hadn’t become a person worth knowing. I let every shadow, bad habit, & sh*tty thought take over my life like a black cloud.

I either made fun of others or hid in shame to cover up my own insecurities. Examples: I laughed at people in that mushy gushy love, thought having money made you “bad” or it was hard to make, I hid in shame, people pleasing, & stifled my potential because I never wanted to be seen as a failure, rejected, & different, mocked “skinny” girls because secretly I wanted to be them.

You are capable of so much more than you think. Your voice matters & you can bring about phenomenal change in this world if you just let go of your fear of what others think of you, of thinking you have to hide behind your fake azz social media, of fitting into society’s boxes, & anything else not serving you.

Choose to BEcome MORE.

2. EXTRAordinary takes being EXTRA.
Fxcking own it. Frankly we’re lazy af as a society. We want everything to be easy peasy like taking a pill to get that “toned” physique we all desire. When the only way to truly get it & KEEP IT, is by consistency & creating an internal & external environment to support the person we wish to be. 

You know I’m not one to sugar coat, literally & figuratively, if you’re struggling, it’s because you need to DO MORE to BEcome MORE than you’re currently doing. Do more of the good shiz like:

– Smile at people for no good reason. They’re free!

– Give compliments just because they make someone feel loved

– Hold the door open for people, be kind

– Go to the fxcking gym. Eat your beef.

– Get your face out of your phone & acknowledge people in line or the elevator, get off your phone at dinner & actually talk, be present

– Do more of what you love just because it brings you JOY

– Allow yourself to love without expectations & risk being hurt because it’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all

– Be unapologetic about loving yourself above all & realizing you owe no one anything

3. Experience More

I used to be scared sh*tless to think about hopping on a plane, road tripping alone, or striking up a conversation with anyone I didn’t know. It stifled me. Now I LOVE IT! I meet new people & friends everywhere I go. 

Being married to a US Marine in one chapter of my life & experiencing the melting pot of the military opened my eyes to a whole new world & I will be forever grateful. It has made me more well-rounded & appreciative of other ethnicities & all backgrounds.

Traveling made me more compassionate, appreciative of how I was raised, & opened my eyes to the world beyond my “perfect” & “safe” small country town USA in McCordsville, Indiana.

Get out of your hometown, pack your suitcase, & roll. Not to escape life, but to give yourself the moment to explore & pause to go find yourself again.

4. Be Content with Enoughness

I felt like a failure the majority of my life because I didn’t “live up to society’s ‘normal’ timeline.” I’ve talked about this before, I thought by 40 I would have been married 18 years, have 2 kids, a white picket fence, & 18 years seniority at the same job since college. 

LMFAO. 

2 divorces, infertility, thousands of dollars in debt, more jobs than I can count or include on a 1 page resume, & decades of sickness & beating the sh*t outta my body later…

But like I stated before, you don’t appreciate the good times without the bad. I would not be the woman I am today, writing this, helping you, via these experiences without them. Embrace adversity & YOUR OWN TIMELINE. Life happens FOR US not to us. 

You are enough simply because you exist. You will always be rich if you’re content with ENOUGH. Our future is not guaranteed, that’s really all we’re guaranteed. 

Accumulating money, titles, things, followers, a shrinking number on the scale, abs, certain milestones, whatever you wanna insert here…are pointless quests if you don’t love who you are & where you are right now.

Repeat after me:

“Trust that some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet. There are going to be parties that leave you dancing until 6am, spontaneous adventures that teach you more than you ever learned in a classroom. There are going to be nights that will stay burned beneath your eyelids, memories that dance underneath your skin. Life is going to exceed your expectations, it is going to astonish you with its timing.

Remember — you have not felt it all.

The world still has so much left for you”

– Bianca Sparacino

Love y’all

oxox Coach K

@lil_bit_of_fit

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Reflections on my 39th trip around the sun

Ya know I love vacations but I LOVE going home, more. Anyone else like this too?

Back to routine. My home. My gyms. My Pete 🐈‍⬛. My bed. My people I love. 

Gettin ready to head back to Indy tomorrow. 

As I did laundry & packed, I let my mind wander. This vacation felt like a huge reflection & reset for me. New beginnings. 

A few: 

  • Starting a new job PRN at the VA hospital in Indianapolis soon. PUMPED!
  • New workout routines & body goals, it’s gainz season y’all 🦾🦿
  • Purging stagnant & less optimal habits & replacing them with better ones
  • Purging things I don’t need
  • Simplifying & optimizing business & life
  • Being ok letting old friend circles go
  • Pushing myself to do new things, date, & meet new people

I am actually REALLY excited to enter my 40’s. Something about moving into a new decade makes me feel optimistic & all warm & fuzzy like a deep conversation over an old fashioned or a cup of coffee.

Life really hasn’t turned out as I “expected”

I feel it has turned out better & exactly how it was supposed to.

Kinda like this jumper here. This 5’1, shorty was skeptical about buying it. It was not what I expected – but BETTER. Well done Amazon, well 👏🏼 done 👏🏼 XS fit purrrrfect 😻😆

My younger self thought at 40 I’d have it all figured out, be happily married for decades, picket fence, 2 kids, #merica ….y’all can laugh now.

After 2 divorces I feel like the universe is telling me I make a really good ex-wife 😂 And ya know what? I am. I’m a great ex wife. I love all my exes. I have zero baggage & no hard feelings. I choose to remember the lessons & all the wonderful memories from my relationships.

That thinkin at 40 I’d “have it all figured out thang”…hxll I can’t even fxckin remember where I park my car in the mornings or what day it is half the time.😝 

Spiritually I still feel like I’m in my 20s, most days I physically feel BETTER than I did in my 20s. 

I say I have a young spirit & a significantly old soul. Dangerous combo.

I look young but inside I’m a baby grandma. Totally ok with it. Some days I can party with the best of them but most days I’m an introvert, don’t ask me to do anything after 8 PM.

It’s like I don’t really know what to do with me? So finally I just said fugg it, I don’t do rules I do what feels right. Especially dating or dressing myself. 

I’m at that weird age I really don’t know what’s appropriate, like how to “dress for my age” or “date in my age range”  

WTF does that even mean anymore?! 🤔🤷‍♀️

Someone, if you have the answer please clarify this for me 🙋‍♀️

I surrendered y’all. I surrendered to the fact that I will continue to get older each year & I don’t have to have expectations at all. Simply just a direction to always be working on bettering myself.

I vow, this year, to settle in & let my 39th year wrap itself around me like a warm & fuzzy Sherpa jacket.

I remind myself that faking happiness & perfection are the quickest way to die on the inside. I remind myself life is what it is & it IS what I make it. Do shxt that makes me happy & brings Joy. Be kind. 

Moral of this page from the life of Lilbitoffit:

I’m a 39 yo old woman. I’m flawed & weird af. I don’t love everyone & everything, & there’s plenty of people who do not love me & I could care less. 

I am getting wrinkles, sunspots, & I sure as hxll can’t recover from drinking like I used to & way over consume caffeine, but I refuse to give up coffee & making memories with friends & family.

I am still working on loving myself & living a life that makes me proud, fulfilled, & content. And I’m cool with having no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. It’s never boring 😉 

Thank y’all for listening to this “middle-aged”rambling. 

Cheers to officially being a “cougar” next year 🐆😸 

Oxox 

Coach K

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Q&A: What should my macros be for a high protein carnivore diet, maintenance calories, and fat loss tips?

First, disclaimers:⁣

There are 50 shades of a meat based diet. Some people include small amounts of carbs, some do fat or carb re-feeds, some do not. Don’t be that Ahole that shames other people for including other things & different approaches into their diets because you don’t. We all have different needs/preferences. I see it too much. No need for dogma of any kind, we are here to learn & support one another. Choose what work best for you.⁣

Seems most “higher” protein carnivores are around 40P/60F, 50P/50F, 60P/40F as far a protein/fat macro ratios. Always go your own way, again, we’re all different!

⁣I’m showing you what I’d do for myself as far as macros, not saying you have to follow these, but a visual & calculation breakdown were requested. If you need coaching, fill out an inquiry here & I’ll send details via email.

Your 1st steps in choosing any kind of diet need to be:

1. KNOW YOUR WHY & BE SELF AWARE

2. UNDERSTAND YOUR STORY & FOUNDATIONAL STARTING POINT

3. DEFINE YOUR REALISTIC GOAL

4. SET A PLAN & ORGANIZE YOUR SUCCESS ROUTINE

⁣

As far as Carnivore, get adapted & heal FIRST. I wrote a blog from an interview on my experiences the 1st year of my carnivore journey. Please read that interview here (link also in IG bio to blog post) — it will answer the majority of your questions as far as my story, living with Crohn’s as an athlete, adapting, transitions I went through, & my special digestive needs & trigger foods.⁣

⁣I don’t recommend any kind of manipulations with the carnivore diet for fat loss until you are adapted, eating at maintenance, & thriving confidently with this lifestyle.

Fat Loss Tips:⁣

  • Create a calorie deficit from pulling from your fat macros. Protein should stay consistent (around 1g/lb of body weight or goal weight for most) Tracking will help. It creates awareness & more educated decision making when making adjustments. Protein for most/meal should be around 30g minimum, most do fine around 40-60g/meal if you’re eating 2-3 meals/d.
  • Choose meats that are easier to track & control like ground meats & eggs.⁣ Leaner meat will naturally be lower in calories.
  • When in a calorie deficit, & this will depend on your degree of calorie deficit, it can be helpful to increase your protein macros to maintain as much lean muscle mass as possible especially if you’re strength training. (YOU SHOULD BE)
  • If you’re fat cycling for fat loss, try 4-5 lean days/wk, 2-3 higher fat days/wk. Its helpful to have higher calorie (high fat days) on days of higher activity or harder workouts. You can also reserve these for days of social events for easier adherence.
  • Diet breaks & structured refeeds can be wonderful tools to create adherence, consistency, & decreased hormonal & metabolic stress. ⁣I included a graphic on different kinds of periodization.
  • Intermittent fasting can also be a wonderful tool to allow larger meals for satiety while staying within your allotted calories. Choose eating windows that work for you & your schedule.⁣ Do not abuse fasting. Extended fasting is not necessary, most do fine fasting 14-16 hrs overnight. It will bite you in the a$$ by increasing stress on the body if you abuse them. Same for overdoing protein sparing modified fasting (PSMF). PSMF are more applicable to people with significant weight to lose, of higher body fat, & kept only 2-3 days/week. If you cannot control yourself with portions after fasting because you’re SO ravenous, decreases your fasting windows.
  • If in doubt, WALK. Simply increasing steps & choosing lower intensity activities will be easier on your body yet still help create a calorie deficit by increased activity.⁣
  • If you’re including carbs in your training & fat loss diet, keep them around workouts. Your largest meal I prefer post workout for recovery & optimization & earlier in the day. Taper meal sizes as the day goes on.
  • If you’re waking up starving, having sh*tty sleep, peeing all the time, low energy – these are signs you may need higher fat, higher calories, &/or a period of a diet break or refeed. YES, hunger will be part of a fat loss diet, but you also want to optimize hormone & metabolic efficiency as much as you can. That’s what diet breaks & refeeds are for. If you’re body & mind are stressed to the titties as I say, it will not drop body fat easily or optimally.
  • Sleep is a nonnegotiable, 7-8 hrs/night. If you eat carbs, a little before bed can help decrease your cortisol level. Do not eat late, heavy meals. You won’t sleep well & your digestion will be a dumpster fire. If having loose stool after meals &/or wonky digestion, include some digestive enzymes before or mid meal to help, decrease meal sizes & decrease fat. You will adjust. I use Nuethix Formulations Utilyze, Discount Code: lilbitoffit

Full Post on IG with Cheat Sheets Here

oxox Coach K