♡𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨… Now that I’m over 40 — I would love to have coffee with my 21 year old self.
It’s the perfect paradox. I wish I could share the wisdom I have now with my younger self, yet that wisdom came from all the f*ck ups I made😂 🤷🏼♀️ So, without the mistakes, I’m not sure I’d have anything important to say to that younger version of myself.
Purdue University. #boilerup I remember nights out in college with my Delta Gamma sorority sisters & Block & Bridle Club aggies. (I graduated with a Bachelors in Animal Science from the school of Ag btw. Fun fact 😉 🎓).
Thirsty Thursday’s with Bruce the Piano Man at the Neon Cactus. Those huge cups, cheap drinks, & priceless memories were epic. (Minus the waking up hungover af the next day after smashing Mad Mushroom 🍄 🍕 pizza & cheese sticks 🙈🫣🫥🤭)
I’d implore her to laugh like that more & worry less. As women, maybe wives, moms, friends, daughters, etc we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to orchestrate & capture magical moments for our loved ones, for others.
I wish I could tell that 21 year old version of myself that the magic will happen without the pressure of a perfect social media shot & Pinterest board. Sure, snap a few pictures, but don’t let the pressure of trying to get the perfect shot interfere with absorbing the moments.
Case in point: I remember going to Disney as a child. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t remember talking about how much fun we had at Disney. I do, however, LOL when I talk about the road trips to get there. For some reason, a favorite is my dad wearing a fanny pack & the excitement of taking the back seats out of the van so we could “camp” on the way there. And the singing to oldies🎶
We often stayed at an economical hotel. I remember things like bike rides, seeing Jurassic Park on vaca & sea shells on the beach, coming back from the park & enjoying the swimming pool and the tiny arcade off the lobby.
Because life happens in the in-between moments.
I remember the hotel with much more clarity than I remember the magic of Disney or a specific location.
Take care of yourself. I wish I could convince that younger version of myself that the world wouldn’t collapse if I gave myself a day off of work or the gym or whatever stupid diet I was doing.
I wish I could convince that younger version of me to build a true, aligned tribe she could count on sooner. I figured it out, but not until my late 30’s. I found that small inner, high value circle would have my back no matter what, & who got to see all my flaws & love me anyway.
I’m grateful I learned the lesson about needing a tribe, but mostly the importance of building a home in myself first. Now, everywhere I go, I make home AND I know with confidence I can be happy anywhere because that power comes from within me.
Dream big, but don’t be afraid to change your target if your season changes.
I had big dreams for family, career, finances, & travel. At some point, it became clear that I had fallen for the lie that I could have it all or even knew what I wanted or what tf I was doing.
Reassessing our goals & adjusting our dreams is part of life. As you learn about yourself & life, you learn more about where you want to invest your energy. Give yourself permission to change your definition of success, & never forget that your definition is the one that matters, not the one painted by social media, society, or your peer group.
Release control, laugh more, worry less.
This is the advice 21 year old *me* needed most of all. Even today, I’m not sure I would be the most equipped to give that advice, as I still struggle with releasing control.
I work harder at acknowledging useless worry than I did back then, bringing a measure of hard-earned peace. If I could buy that 21 year old version of myself a cup of coffee & tell her all the wisdom we gained over the next few decades, would I be doing her any favors?
After all, we’ve made it this far, & I kind of like who the two of us became.❤️🫶
Oxox Coach K
