“Tell us your love story.”

Well, the love story would be one of perpetually going through breakups. Breakups with friends, men, partners, jobs, family.  Even those who I “thought was THE one.” 

— I really believed this.

Some partners, I just didn’t feel good when we were together. I would feel anxious when I was around them, even if it was long distance. You know the ones where they may be on their way to see you, & where you should feel elated, would literally feel sick to your stomach. (Maybe that was just me😳🫣🤔)

And after a while, I decided, okay, this is f*cked up & NOT working. I have to do something else.

And I did.

I did a LOT of work around getting myself into the right place holistically for real relationships, including the most important, the one with myself.

When The “Love Of Your Life” Lets You Go.

Ooof 🤢

Yup.

Been there, too.

Makes you instantly wanna throw up, cry, scream, maybe down gallons of ice cream or bourbon. Pick your numbing mechanism.

Took me decades to realize there is no “One” or single “Love of your life.” And rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, sometimes it’s misalignment. Sometimes it means the other person was blind to notice the amazingness you have to offer. And it always means, there’s something better.

Life happens FOR you, not TO you.

I got to the depths of why I was having some of these complications in my relationships through a lot of solitude & inner work well into my 40’s. 

One epiphanous day, something I asked myself was, “Why do you want a relationship?”

What is the purpose of being in a relationship? And I had never really thought about that before. It was always like, oh, because it’s just what you do.🤷🏼‍♀️

Like it feels nice, whatever. And what I realized when I really thought about it was that my life is beautiful & I have intentionally designed it & it’s delicious. But I believe that my self discovery & my life cannot be as exceptional when it’s just me. And in order for a life to be exceptional, I believe you need other people in it. Friends, family, partners, strangers, creative collaborators & Lovers.

I think that’s important. And so once I got to that place of being like, “THIS is why I want this!” I felt like I was in a completely different place to approach love & relationships.

😉 To be continued…

Oxox Coach K

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8 Mind-Bending Quotes That Changed It All For Me… 

I stumbled upon an Albert Einstein quote one morning that said: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

Ooof. Mind blowing 🤯 

I thought about how that statement applied to many pages in my storybook life — to college at Purdue University, to Radiology School, to relationships, my finances, to most importantly, MYSELF. MY self awareness (or lack of). The understanding of ME.

“You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you” — Wayne Dyer

It took me years to learn to respect myself, including giving myself Grace. When people treated me poorly, I was convinced I was to blame or that I somehow deserved it.

Kids made fun of weight, the way I looked, my “poor farmer’s kid clothes.” Boyfriends cheated on me, lied to me, abused me.

When I finally developed enough robustness & self-esteem to honor my boundaries, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.

“Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself” – Mark Manson

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it — it just blooms” — Sensei Ogui

The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is with the person you were yesterday.

“The only zen you’ll find on mountaintops is the zen you bring up there with you” — Alan Watts

In other words, you’ll never find peace unless it’s within. The same goes for love. The same goes for fulfillment, health, self expression.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without” — Buddha

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for” – Epicurus

In a world that’s constantly seeking more — more results, more performance, more money, more social proof — this immediately brings me into a state of appreciation and gratitude.

When I’m longing for something more than what I have right now I’m living in some imaginary future and I’m missing everything in the here and now. I feel this way about dating apps (& boredom scrolling on social in general) currently. I deleted dating apps & significantly reduced me social time, using it only with intention in time blocks. I feel apps & boredom scrolling steals my presence & blinds me to the wonderful people & opportunities in front of me.

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being” — Eckhart Tolle

“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence” — Jiddu Krishnamurti

When we can observe reality without judging or labelling people & things as good or bad, we can think and respond more appropriately. This is a form of wisdom & mastery.

Everything is simply an experience. We attach a label to the meaning of the experience. Only when I learned how to live untethered & to flow like water, did I learn how to truly live a peaceful life.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” — Viktor E. Frankl

“If you can’t get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you can’t create a new future where those things don’t exist” — Dr. Joe Dispenza

He then went on to add:

“If you were looking at a timeline of your day, starting with waking up in the morning and continuing until you go to bed that night, you could pick up that timeline of yesterday or today (your past) and place it in the space reserved for tomorrow (the future) because essentially the same actions you took today are the ones you are going to take tomorrow — and the day after that, and the day after that.

Let’s face it: If you keep the same routine as yesterday, it makes sense that your tomorrow is going to be a lot like your yesterday. Your future is just a rerun of your past. That’s because your yesterday is creating your tomorrow.”

“You are an infinite spiritual being having a temporary human experience” — Wayne Dyer

I know now when my human body fades and dies, my spirit will live on. Not because it’s “mine” but because “My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.” — Jim Carrey

And that’s eternal.

“Love is what we are; Fear is what we learn”

It doesn’t matter how far we stray down the wrong path then because there will always be an intelligence that brings us back into our hearts. So, rest easy. Because “We’re all just walking each other home.” — Ram Dass

Love you all❤️

oxox

Coach K

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I’ve always felt there was something magical about sunrises

I’ve always felt there was something magical about sunrises. I stood there sipping on my cup of coffee watching the orange & pinks move up thru the clouds.

With every breath I take the sky transforms just a little bit more colorful. It’s as if I was watching a movie. But it’s the movie called “real life”.

I’m rounding out the last week of my current 13 week travel assignment in Lynchburg, Virginia. I’ve been blessed to have been offered an extension here till mid January, which I accepted. The Blue Ridge Mountains have been cleansing, enlightening, & provided nourishing beauty & solitude.

I’ve traveled more than ever the past year, personally & professionally. I’ve learned I never get the opportunity to experience present moments again. Ever. This moment, if not lived, is gone. Forever. And that is now how I approach life at 42 years old.

And so I sit. Watching & marveling. I feel at ease. Filled with joy. Happiness. Gratitude. Yes, sweet peace & gratitude. And I think back on all the sunrises & sunsets where I am sure I was smiling even though nobody was watching me.

I try my best to sip & savor every luscious drop of life I can. I call myself an “experience collector,” unapologetically here to receive all the moments of loving. 💕😉 

(Side note for my newbies, WELCOME BTW🫶, I’m a travel radiographer💀. Its easier just to say #travelnurse because most people relate & understand what that means 😆🚑🏥)


Every sunrise begins with new eyes. The night can never defeat the sunrise. I’ve always been a “morning person.” 🌅 🦅 🐦‍🔥

Sunrise – you can watch it, you can breathe it, you hear it, you can touch it, you can taste it, you can FEEL it. Every sunrise holds more promise, & every sunset holds more peace…

Have you ever woken up early to watch the sun greet you & bring a new morning?

Creatives of all shades (writers, painters, musicians, artists, in general) have always brought sunrises into their work, dazzled by their magnetism & power. Like a Muse.

Can you still remember the last time you were hypnotized by the smell of that first day of Spring or fall early in the morning?

Sunrises bring fresh new starts. Whether it’s rainy or sunny, dawn – or the first light of day – is a synonym for genesis.

Have you ever fallen asleep in the warm blanketing rays? Felt the magic & colors at the first rays? 

Unforgettable right?! They’re experiences that add dimension to your recharge & rest — your essence & your BEing

This time of watching the sun rise above the horizon is something I will remember & fill another page of my storybook of life.

“The secret to a good morning is to watch the sunrise with an open heart.”Anthony T. Hincks

Let the sunshine ignite & deliciously paint your soul today with whatever colors you need. ☀️ 🎨 🖍️

Enjoy a bit of my morning & thoughts that hopefully will shed some light on a new perspective this week☀️🫶

Oxox 

Coach “Sip & Savor” K

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