Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
January will be here before we know it. Grateful to spend fall & winter with you, Virginia❤️
I started my travel Xray contract extension here October 21st. I’ve been in Lynchburg since the beginning of July. I’ve loved it here.
I work with great people at the hospital. Yes, the grind is grueling, but I’ve come to appreciate the 3 days off after 7 days on. Sadistically I love the pain. F*cked up, I know. But it’s what it is & how I’m wired.
I appreciate the small airport here that flys into Charolette. I don’t feel trapped, I feel more free than ever. If I wanna do something, I just book a flight & go!
Solo travel has been soul-deep nurturing for me. A journey of self discovery. A journey of being good at being ME.
There is a really wonderful circular relationship among confidence, inner peace, traveling, & simply feeling like a BADDIE that can take on anything.
Traveling in itself is an act of confidence. The fact that you went somewhere by yourself demonstrates strength. As your self-esteem grows, you start engaging in more independent, self-serving behaviors.
You let sabotaging ones fall away. Honestly I feel like I just don’t give a sh*t about a lot of silly things anymore. 😄🤷♀️ It’s great.
Truthfully, I can’t pinpoint where the travel antidote came from. Images of happy women doin life on their terms stamped an impression into my brain of the person I wanted to be, but my 20 something old self felt I couldn’t — a woman who can pick up & go & feel confident in all of her decisions.
But I freakin did it, & I’ve done it well. I did it scared sh*tless. Haha! And I’ll continue to choose my adventure.
I’ve made my way to touristy spots, rural gems, hills & hollers, chatted with locals, made out with cute guys at bars on occasions, even let some of them steal a piece of my heart along the way.
The ability to be okay with being by yourself, to not need constant stimulation & company, is extremely empowering. It opens up choices for you that are not contingent on what others want & it enables you to be out in the world with others & then be with yourself to reflect, to regroup & to feel replenished.
Lost & found come from the same box & not all who wander are lost😉
To be continued…
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
Well, the love story would be one of perpetually going through breakups. Breakups with friends, men, partners, jobs, family. Even those who I “thought was THE one.”
— I really believed this.
Some partners, I just didn’t feel good when we were together. I would feel anxious when I was around them, even if it was long distance. You know the ones where they may be on their way to see you, & where you should feel elated, would literally feel sick to your stomach. (Maybe that was just me😳🫣🤔)
And after a while, I decided, okay, this is f*cked up & NOT working. I have to do something else.
And I did.
I did a LOT of work around getting myself into the right place holistically for real relationships, including the most important, the one with myself.
When The “Love Of Your Life” Lets You Go.
Ooof 🤢
Yup.
Been there, too.
Makes you instantly wanna throw up, cry, scream, maybe down gallons of ice cream or bourbon. Pick your numbing mechanism.
Took me decades to realize there is no “One” or single “Love of your life.” And rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, sometimes it’s misalignment. Sometimes it means the other person was blind to notice the amazingness you have to offer. And it always means, there’s something better.
Life happens FOR you, not TO you.
I got to the depths of why I was having some of these complications in my relationships through a lot of solitude & inner work well into my 40’s.
One epiphanous day, something I asked myself was, “Why do you want a relationship?”
What is the purpose of being in a relationship? And I had never really thought about that before. It was always like, oh, because it’s just what you do.🤷🏼♀️
Like it feels nice, whatever. And what I realized when I really thought about it was that my life is beautiful & I have intentionally designed it & it’s delicious. But I believe that my self discovery & my life cannot be as exceptional when it’s just me. And in order for a life to be exceptional, I believe you need other people in it. Friends, family, partners, strangers, creative collaborators & Lovers.
I think that’s important. And so once I got to that place of being like, “THIS is why I want this!” I felt like I was in a completely different place to approach love & relationships.
😉 To be continued…
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
I stumbled upon an Albert Einstein quote one morning that said: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
Ooof. Mind blowing 🤯
I thought about how that statement applied to many pages in my storybook life — to college at Purdue University, to Radiology School, to relationships, my finances, to most importantly, MYSELF. MY self awareness (or lack of). The understanding of ME.
“You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you” — Wayne Dyer
It took me years to learn to respect myself, including giving myself Grace. When people treated me poorly, I was convinced I was to blame or that I somehow deserved it.
Kids made fun of weight, the way I looked, my “poor farmer’s kid clothes.” Boyfriends cheated on me, lied to me, abused me.
When I finally developed enough robustness & self-esteem to honor my boundaries, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.
“Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself” – Mark Manson
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it — it just blooms” — Sensei Ogui
The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is with the person you were yesterday.
“The only zen you’ll find on mountaintops is the zen you bring up there with you” — Alan Watts
In other words, you’ll never find peace unless it’s within. The same goes for love. The same goes for fulfillment, health, self expression.
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without” — Buddha
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for” – Epicurus
In a world that’s constantly seeking more — more results, more performance, more money, more social proof — this immediately brings me into a state of appreciation and gratitude.
When I’m longing for something more than what I have right now I’m living in some imaginary future and I’m missing everything in the here and now. I feel this way about dating apps (& boredom scrolling on social in general) currently. I deleted dating apps & significantly reduced me social time, using it only with intention in time blocks. I feel apps & boredom scrolling steals my presence & blinds me to the wonderful people & opportunities in front of me.
“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being” — Eckhart Tolle
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
When we can observe reality without judging or labelling people & things as good or bad, we can think and respond more appropriately. This is a form of wisdom & mastery.
Everything is simply an experience. We attach a label to the meaning of the experience. Only when I learned how to live untethered & to flow like water, did I learn how to truly live a peaceful life.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” — Viktor E. Frankl
“If you can’t get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you can’t create a new future where those things don’t exist” — Dr. Joe Dispenza
He then went on to add:
“If you were looking at a timeline of your day, starting with waking up in the morning and continuing until you go to bed that night, you could pick up that timeline of yesterday or today (your past) and place it in the space reserved for tomorrow (the future) because essentially the same actions you took today are the ones you are going to take tomorrow — and the day after that, and the day after that.
Let’s face it: If you keep the same routine as yesterday, it makes sense that your tomorrow is going to be a lot like your yesterday. Your future is just a rerun of your past. That’s because your yesterday is creating your tomorrow.”
“You are an infinite spiritual being having a temporary human experience” — Wayne Dyer
I know now when my human body fades and dies, my spirit will live on. Not because it’s “mine” but because “My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.” — Jim Carrey
And that’s eternal.
“Love is what we are; Fear is what we learn”
It doesn’t matter how far we stray down the wrong path then because there will always be an intelligence that brings us back into our hearts. So, rest easy. Because “We’re all just walking each other home.” — Ram Dass
Love you all❤️
oxox
Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
I’ve always felt there was something magical about sunrises. I stood there sipping on my cup of coffee watching the orange & pinks move up thru the clouds.
With every breath I take the sky transforms just a little bit more colorful. It’s as if I was watching a movie. But it’s the movie called “real life”.
I’m rounding out the last week of my current 13 week travel assignment in Lynchburg, Virginia. I’ve been blessed to have been offered an extension here till mid January, which I accepted. The Blue Ridge Mountains have been cleansing, enlightening, & provided nourishing beauty & solitude.
I’ve traveled more than ever the past year, personally & professionally. I’ve learned I never get the opportunity to experience present moments again. Ever. This moment, if not lived, is gone. Forever. And that is now how I approach life at 42 years old.
And so I sit. Watching & marveling. I feel at ease. Filled with joy. Happiness. Gratitude. Yes, sweet peace & gratitude. And I think back on all the sunrises & sunsets where I am sure I was smiling even though nobody was watching me.
I try my best to sip & savor every luscious drop of life I can. I call myself an “experience collector,” unapologetically here to receive all the moments of loving. 💕😉
(Side note for my newbies, WELCOME BTW🫶, I’m a travel radiographer💀. Its easier just to say #travelnurse because most people relate & understand what that means 😆🚑🏥)
Every sunrise begins with new eyes. The night can never defeat the sunrise. I’ve always been a “morning person.” 🌅 🦅 🐦🔥
A Sunrise – you can watch it, you can breathe it, you hear it, you can touch it, you can taste it, you can FEEL it. Every sunrise holds more promise, & every sunset holds more peace…
Have you ever woken up early to watch the sun greet you & bring a new morning?
Creatives of all shades (writers, painters, musicians, artists, in general) have always brought sunrises into their work, dazzled by their magnetism & power. Like a Muse.
Can you still remember the last time you were hypnotized by the smell of that first day of Spring or fall early in the morning?
Sunrises bring fresh new starts. Whether it’s rainy or sunny, dawn – or the first light of day – is a synonym for genesis.
Have you ever fallen asleep in the warm blanketing rays? Felt the magic & colors at the first rays?
Unforgettable right?! They’re experiences that add dimension to your recharge & rest — your essence & your BEing
This time of watching the sun rise above the horizon is something I will remember & fill another page of my storybook of life.
“The secret to a good morning is to watch the sunrise with an open heart.”—Anthony T. Hincks
Let the sunshine ignite & deliciously paint your soul today with whatever colors you need. ☀️🎨🖍️
Enjoy a bit of my morning & thoughts that hopefully will shed some light on a new perspective this week☀️🫶
When I was in my 20’s & early 30’s, I used to drink A LOT on the weekends.
Every Friday and Saturday night, my friends and I would head to a local bar. We’d start with a few beers or cocktails, have dinner, and then head out for the second half of the night, often drinking until 3 a.m. Finally, after 12 hours of overindulging, I’d pass out in my bed until noon the next day. I’d wake up to the bad decisions still lingering from the night before.
I’m embarrassed to say this behavior went on for years. I was, by some definitions, an alcoholic. And eventually my binge drinking ended me in the hospital, on a vent with a blood alcohol level of .346. I’m lucky I survived.
I had terrible side effects: I hated my unfulfilling life, had anxiety attacks, binge eating, gut symptoms, my Crohn’s disease was out of control, relationships in the shitter, & over 50k in debt.
I share this story as a cautionary tale, but I’m not here to say that you should never drink alcohol. I still drink occasionally, but I use it now with respect to enhance and savor an experience. I no longer drink to get drunk. I rarely have more than one drink or a few savory sips.
If you’ve recognized that you drink too much &/or binge eat, then it’s time to implement a life edit & the system that worked for me when I was cutting back.
Love this blog! Wonderful tips on how to do a life edit!
This system uses five simple steps that anyone can follow, and over time, builds habits that dramatically reduce your dependency on alcohol and junk food.
Step 1: Spend Time with the Right People (Your environment is everything!) This lesson comes straight from entrepreneur, author, and speaker Jim Rohn. Here’s the gist: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If you spend your time with people who are getting drunk all the time & eating shit food, then guess what you’re going to do?
Think about it—do you really think you’re going to have superhuman willpower and be able to stop at one drink or eat healthy when all of your friends are grabbing a second, third, and fourth and smashing pizza and nachos all night?
On the other hand, if you spend your time with people that drink less, they eat well & exercise often—then you’ll soon have control over your poor habits. Pick your friends wisely.
Step 2: Slow Down It’s easy to say you’re going to stick to just one drink or eat a healthy, protein based meal when meeting a friend after work in the right atmosphere. But when the bar is buzzing and you’re starting to loosen, slowing down just isn’t going to happen. The next thing you know, you’ve downed that first beer or cocktail in record time and you’re ready for a second & a huge plate of loaded fries because you’ve numbed you’re decision thinking.
Here’s how you get over the “suck it down vs savor” urge: Order a drink that doesn’t go down so easily. Mine is vodka water. Even better, order a shot and a water then mix your own. That way you are in charge of the alcohol content you consume.
Once upon a time, I used to love drinking margaritas, malibu & coke, & anything sweet! The trouble was, they were sweet and I have a strong sweet-tooth & poor relationship with carbs and sugar. They’re triggers to binge eating (& bulimia), over indulging, gut issues, & me feeling like crap. It’s no surprise that those drinks went down fast and easy.
These days, I order bourbon, a glass of vodka & water on the rocks or maybe tequila & water on the rocks. If I want flavor, I add electrolytes (Ultima Replenisher or LMNT) to my water. The flavor is powerful—and remarkably un-sweet—so I sip it instead of down it. As a result, I don’t drink more than I should.
Success requires removing obstacles, leading yourself out of temptation, and getting accountability to stick to your goals. With these in place, you’ll soon kick the booze & junk food to the curb and start enjoying more nourishing, higher performance days—moving you closer to your big goals and dreams.
Step 3: One Drink of Alcohol + One Glass of Water. Stick to Protein at Meals. This one seems obvious, but so many people forget to drink water while they’re enjoying alcohol. It’s critical to keep yourself hydrated—not only to prevent hangovers the next morning, but also for slowing down your intake. Every time you finish a cocktail, beer, or glass of wine, make sure to take a pause from the booze and down a glass of water.
Keep your meals to a lean protein source like chicken breast, lean beef, pork, or seafood. You’ll be more satiated & less likely to overindulge. Grilled chicken is my go to.
Step 4: Ask Yourself These 2 Questions Before Eating 2 things changed my relationship with food. They allowed me to beat binge eating & lose 60 pounds while healing my gut👇
1️⃣Before I ate, I asked myself, “How does this food make me feel?” ⁃ Does it help or hinder? ⁃ Do I feel energized & satisfied? Bloated & tired? ⁃ Am I still enjoying my meal? No? Time to stop eating. Yes? Ok, I’ll eat a little more. ⁃ Does it make my gut feel happy & healthy? Or inflamed & painful? ⁃ Does it support me physiologically, aesthetically, & mentally?
2️⃣I asked myself, “As fuel, what am I using this food for?” ⁃ To fuel a workout? A meeting? Playing with your kids? A walk? ⁃ Am I truly physiologically hungry or am I bored & this just a craving? ⁃ Am I numbing a difficult emotion with this food?
The food, environment, habits, & information you consume each day are the soil from which your future thoughts, body, & reality are grown! Many of the best things in life grow along the way by simply having better awareness, understanding, & then once you know better, you CHOOSE BETTER!
Start hanging out with high value people & success & love grows along the way.
Start exercising & eating well & motivation + results grow along the way.
Start writing, therapy, spending time alone & aligned inspiration grows along the way.
Start now & watch the feelings & results follow!
Step 5: Schedule Something for the Next Morning Let’s say you’re planning on heading to the bars on Friday night. Set up a workout, an appointment or meeting for Saturday morning. Knowing that you have that appointment—and that you have to be ready for it—will keep you from going overboard at the bars. (I often recommend setting up a physical activity. Your body will hate you if you try to do it while nursing a hangover, so you’ll quickly learn not to overindulge.)
These five steps can help you cut back on alcohol & binge eating and regain control so that you can focus on the more important things in life.
For example, cutting back on my drinking allowed me to tackle my gut issues, have better sleep, higher energy, more mental clarity, more money, and more freedom to focus on my life’s work – serving ya’ll!
Success requires removing obstacles, leading yourself out of temptation, and getting accountability to stick to your goals. With these in place, you’ll soon kick less optimal habits to the curb and moving you closer to your big goals and dreams.
When you’re ready to move from distractions like alcohol to the tools and routines that build your dream body and life, I urge you to check out resources that helped me + a Blog Guide I created just for you documenting how I lost 60lbs, healed my gut, & beat binge eating:
It can take decades to unlearn. My relationship with disordered eating & poor body image started when I was just 8.
I spent the majority of my childhood & early adulthood overweight & unhealthy. I was told in middle school by a teacher I was too big to be a cheerleader. Kids were cruel, calling me names like lambchop because I had big 80’s hair & even thicker thighs.
My disorder began with overeating & then restricting to punish myself. I’d try to skip breakfast & barely eat lunch (which I’d “allow” myself sugar free jello, a small travel size cottage cheese & 5 Ritz crackers).
My stomach would growl. I remember being embarrassed if the classroom was quiet enough for others to hear. Inevitably, I’d return home in the afternoon absolutely ravenous & binge on cookies, candy, cereal, chips, & junk food.
These episodes got more & more out of control. I continued eating less during the day, binging at night & sometimes I’d take cold medicine to make me sleep to keep from eating.
Years passed, & my eating habits fluctuated. I had never even considered throwing up until I saw a Lifetime movie about a girl who had bulimia. The process seemed easy. Eat whatever you want, throw up. The first time I purged was in middle school after eating a tub of ice cream.
Bulimia became a sort of coping mechanism for me. I told myself my obsession with diets & exercise were normal. It was about control. I was dealing with a lot of stress: school, college, later on, relationships, a failed marriage on top of debt & drinking too much.
There were lots of things in my life I felt I wasn’t able to manage. I’d binge & get a rush. Then I’d get an even bigger, better rush after getting rid of it all.
Takeaway: Don’t make my mistakes. If you’re dealing with an eating disorder or disordered eating & exercise habits, I encourage you to seek help.
Life is more than choosing to shrink yourself as a hobby. Eating disorders like bulimia are often not just about losing weight. They also revolve around issues of control or negative thoughts, like having a poor self-image.
The first step is admitting that you have a problem & you WANT to break the cycle. Don’t make my mistake & fill your memory book with reminders of your eating disorder instead of the truly important moments in your life!
Adopting a carnivore, meat-based way of eating saved my life. It allowed me to lose 60 lbs over my lifetime, put my Crohn’s Disease in med-free remission, & cure my binge eating! Will be forever grateful for the decades of learning and the food freedom this lifestyle has given me! Here’s how I healed and lost the weight!
Lies told by your food addiction.
I can’t abuse food & exercise. I’m fine.
Receptors in our gut respond to certain foods we consume by triggering release of dopamine in our brain. Exercise & social media can do the same thing. One of the hallmarks of any addiction is tolerance: progressively needing more & more of a certain substance to get the same effect. When the brain’s reward system is repeatedly flooded with dopamine, it responds by reducing the receptors as a protective mechanism. And as with drugs, people who are addicted to food often binge in order to get the same dopamine rush. The more sugar, alcohol, carbs, fat, & salt (for examples) the greater release of dopamine & “reward” we experience. Dopamine-enforced sensory cues mean we are motivated to have the substance again just by the sight, smell, & sounds of a food (like bacon cooking) or an endorphin high after working out.
I don’t have a problem. I’ll just have 1.
Addiction & recovery don’t discriminate. Most of us that have an emotional trigger to sugar, carbs, & hyperpalatable foods like dairy, cheese, bacon, keto/sugar free treats, ribeyes, ribs, nut butters, etc are abstainers when it comes to food. Abstainers usually have an all-or-nothing mentality. It’s far easier for abstainers to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. Trying to moderate becomes an internal struggle & justification of actions like: Should I? How much? Can I stop? I’m a failure! Small portions intensify cravings & lead to wanting more. Avoidance of food helps cravings pass. We do better with food rules, meal plans, tracking food/macros, fasting windows, & meat based diets. avoiding trigger foods like carbs & sweets.
This is the last binge. Diet starts tomorrow.
Habits, habits, habits. Our habits make US. The issue with food vs drug addiction is we HAVE to eat. We cannot live without food, it is literally life fuel & what we’re made from. We often use it as a reward or punishment. When you chronically restrict, then binge over & over again, it becomes a cycle we deem as “normal” (as f*cked up as it is we justify it). We also physiologically cause imbalance & lose the ability to sense true hunger cues & satiety, making over eating & binging more prevalent. This happens by throwing off our hunger & satiety hormones, leptin & ghrelin. The more we participate in these behaviors, the more our brain is wired to believe they’re accepted & normal. Ima be blunt when it comes to sugar & carbs, the more you eat, the more you crave them & harder it is to stop the cycle.
I’ll stop once I reach my goal weight.
“You’re just not trying hard enough!” Sound familiar? I remember telling myself I “just didn’t want it bad enough.” Once I was skinny all my problems would go away & I’d be happy. Guess what? They didn’t & I still wasn’t happy even when I reached my “goal weight.” I still had an addiction to food & exercise, I still binged, & my health was worse. I gained weight back because it wasn’t sustainable, physiologically trashed my hormones, gut health, & metabolism. I ignored the poor relationships I had with myself, food, & exercise. Have you ever told yourself you, “Didn’t deserve to eat & needed to workout more!?” Let’s try harder to love ourselves & seek help over restriction & self loathing. I promise you’ll get a lot further & life will suck a whole lot less.
I’m just health conscious. I’m not obsessed.
NO. This is called Orthorexia & leads to you chronically yo-yo dieting, exercise hopping, over training, pissed off & life sucking all the time. Orthorexia nervosa is perhaps best summarized as an obsession with healthy eating with associated restrictive behaviors. However, the extreme attempt to attain optimum health through attention to diet may lead to malnourishment, loss of relationships, & poor quality of life. Basically, this is you making shrinking your body your biggest hobby & priority in life. It gives you food anxiety, social anxiety, & you lose yourself. You compare to everyone, often get lost in all the information, & are confused af all the time. Hire a coach or practitioner to help guide you. More does not always mean better results when it comes to over exercising & restricting food.
The weight on the scale doesn’t trigger me.
Ever wake up & feel great only to step on the scale & see you gained 3lbs & instantly you hate yourself & the whole day turns into a dumpster fire? You look in the mirror & tell yourself you’re “fat” & only eating bread & water or whatever specific diet food all week simply because you base your worth on your appearance & number on the scale. Fat is not an emotion. You most likely are FEELING: stressed, sad, anxious, vulnerable, angry, ashamed, jealous, alone, etc. These feelings are often triggers for continual emotional eating &/or exercise abuse if you use food & exercise as numbing & coping mechanisms. Complete this statement: “_____ happened & triggered me. I am not “fat” & do not need to punish myself. I am actually feeling ______ & choose to do _____ instead.”
Orthorexia Warning Signs
Compulsive checking of nutritional labels & obsession about the “health” of ingredients & specific foods.
Obsession with steps, fit trackers, & calories burned.
Feeling compelled to exercise to compensate for what you ate, when you’re ill/injured, sacrificing your mental health/work/social life to burn off calories & workout.
Refusing to eat anything but foods that are deemed ‘healthy’ or ‘clean’.
Unusual interest in the health of what others are eating, fitness goals, & exercise routines.
Food consuming your every thought & feeling guilty if you didn’t workout or “ate the wrong things.”
Showing high levels of distress & anxiety when ‘safe’ or ‘healthy’ foods aren’t available or you’re presented with social situations.
Obsessive following of food and ‘healthy lifestyle’ blogs on social media.
Body image issues such as body dysmorphia.
Watch your words. Common phrases that encourage disordered eating & exercise habits:
“Diet starts tomorrow, or Monday, or January 1.”
“I deserve a ‘cheat meal’ or ‘treat’ because I’ve been, ‘good’ all week.”
“I already messed up my diet, might as well splurge & start again tomorrow or Monday or January 1.”
“If I eat that I’ll need to make sure I workout enough to burn it all off.”
“I’ll be happy when I reach my goal weight.”
“I don’t deserve to eat that.”
“I can’t do that until I lose the weight.”
“You just don’t want it hard enough.”
“It’s fine, we’ll work it off in the gym tomorrow.”
“Whatever, calories don’t count today.”
“I already messed up, might as well make a whole day/week/month out of it.”
“Ugh, look at everything I ate. I’m so fat.”
Final Thoughts
When you are scrolling thru pictures on social media, remember your worth lies in your essence & your heart. You’re amazing for the sum of everything that you are. What you look like is the least most interesting, magnificent thing about you. What is: Your intelligence. Your kindness. Your relationships. Your smile. Your wrinkles. Your impact. Do not let comparing pictures & the constant pressure to shrink yourself believe that you aren’t enough & you need to be more. Go build your life & embody your big beautiful world. Self-love is an important part of a happy life. When we love ourselves, it becomes easy to go through life. There’s no judgment, fear, or low self-esteem, & instead, there’s immense gratitude & compassion towards our own selves.
The best thing is that self-love helps us have healthier relationships with the people in our lives. It’s a true win-win situation!
Oxox Coach K
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♡𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨… Now that I’m over 40 — I would love to have coffee with my 21 year old self.
It’s the perfect paradox. I wish I could share the wisdom I have now with my younger self, yet that wisdom came from all the f*ck ups I made😂 🤷🏼♀️ So, without the mistakes, I’m not sure I’d have anything important to say to that younger version of myself.
Purdue University. #boilerup I remember nights out in college with my Delta Gamma sorority sisters & Block & Bridle Club aggies. (I graduated with a Bachelors in Animal Science from the school of Ag btw. Fun fact 😉 🎓).
Thirsty Thursday’s with Bruce the Piano Man at the Neon Cactus. Those huge cups, cheap drinks, & priceless memories were epic. (Minus the waking up hungover af the next day after smashing Mad Mushroom 🍄 🍕 pizza & cheese sticks 🙈🫣🫥🤭)
I’d implore her to laugh like that more & worry less. As women, maybe wives, moms, friends, daughters, etc we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to orchestrate & capture magical moments for our loved ones, for others.
I wish I could tell that 21 year old version of myself that the magic will happen without the pressure of a perfect social media shot & Pinterest board. Sure, snap a few pictures, but don’t let the pressure of trying to get the perfect shot interfere with absorbing the moments.
Case in point: I remember going to Disney as a child. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t remember talking about how much fun we had at Disney. I do, however, LOL when I talk about the road trips to get there. For some reason, a favorite is my dad wearing a fanny pack & the excitement of taking the back seats out of the van so we could “camp” on the way there. And the singing to oldies🎶
We often stayed at an economical hotel. I remember things like bike rides, seeing Jurassic Park on vaca & sea shells on the beach, coming back from the park & enjoying the swimming pool and the tiny arcade off the lobby.
Because life happens in the in-between moments.
I remember the hotel with much more clarity than I remember the magic of Disney or a specific location.
Take care of yourself. I wish I could convince that younger version of myself that the world wouldn’t collapse if I gave myself a day off of work or the gym or whatever stupid diet I was doing.
I wish I could convince that younger version of me to build a true, aligned tribe she could count on sooner. I figured it out, but not until my late 30’s. I found that small inner, high value circle would have my back no matter what, & who got to see all my flaws & love me anyway.
I’m grateful I learned the lesson about needing a tribe, but mostly the importance of building a home in myself first. Now, everywhere I go, I make home AND I know with confidence I can be happy anywhere because that power comes from within me.
Dream big, but don’t be afraid to change your target if your season changes.
I had big dreams for family, career, finances, & travel. At some point, it became clear that I had fallen for the lie that I could have it all or even knew what I wanted or what tf I was doing.
Reassessing our goals & adjusting our dreams is part of life. As you learn about yourself & life, you learn more about where you want to invest your energy. Give yourself permission to change your definition of success, & never forget that your definition is the one that matters, not the one painted by social media, society, or your peer group.
Release control, laugh more, worry less.
This is the advice 21 year old *me* needed most of all. Even today, I’m not sure I would be the most equipped to give that advice, as I still struggle with releasing control.
I work harder at acknowledging useless worry than I did back then, bringing a measure of hard-earned peace. If I could buy that 21 year old version of myself a cup of coffee & tell her all the wisdom we gained over the next few decades, would I be doing her any favors?
After all, we’ve made it this far, & I kind of like who the two of us became.❤️🫶
A while back, I was a podcast guest & panelist for fitness & leadership workshops for companies like Burn Boot Camp, Orange Theory, CrossFit, & privately owned health & wellness entrepreneurs.
One of the ideas that many resonated with as I spoke of my experiences with body image, gut issues, weight loss & evolving perspectives on life & fitness transformation in general was my “8 Forms of Wealth” ideal I embraced from Robin Sharma.
In my mind, health, wealth, happiness, & fulfillment aren’t just about making money & being skinny. They are world-class levels to embrace whenever you’re ready.
You meet, love, & accept people & the reality of your life only as deep as you meet, love, & accept yourself. You KNOW you.
It’s like If you’re wondering if someone likes you, you will not have to go to f*cking tarot card readers, investigators, & some shiz to find out. Your inner compass knows.
Inner Wealth: a positive mindset, self-respect, internal peace & strong spiritual connection, clarity around your values & targets you’d like to achieve along your journey.
Physical Wealth: Your health is your wealth. What’s the point of getting to a great place in your life or career if you get sick doing it? Don’t be the “best” coworker or businessperson in the hospital. Why be the richest person in the cemetery? Most GREAT leaders & successful peeps are in great health.
Relationship Wealth: When your social life & circle is joyful & nourishing, you will perform better at life, period. It is imperative to forge deep connections with family, friends, community, colleagues, role models & trusted advisors.
Career Wealth: Getting to greatness in your profession brings a feeling of satisfaction & fulfillment. It helps you shine & is good for your self-respect. Be so good at what you do that you leave everyone in your presence spellbound.
Economic Wealth: Yes, money is important. It’s not the most important thing in life, but it absolutely makes life easier & better. Money allows you freedom! Like to live in a nice home, take beautiful vacations & provide well for those you love. I like to say: “The more I make, the more I can give away!”
Circle of Genius: You become who/ what you spend time with, & these influences affect your health, mindset, & performance. “Lead without needing a title” & surround yourself with exceptional people—their stardust will rub off on you.
Adventure Success: To be fulfilled, each of us needs adventure, awe, & novelty in our lives! Adventure is necessary for growth. The human brain craves novelty. And we are creative beings, so we need to be creating & learning constantly if we hope to feel joy. Perfection is nowhere required here, but effort is. I f*ck up sh*t all the time too, but lots of lessons in experience (ranging from meeting new people to visiting new places) is an essential element of authentic wealth!
Impact Wealth: The deepest longing of my human heart & spirit is to live for something greater than myself. Each of us craves to be significant. To make a difference. To know that the world has somehow been better because we have been here. Leaders leave a legacy.
I invite you to focus on each of these elements. Money & being jacked or skinny alone do not define being happy, healthy, & wealthy.
Don’t go back to containers & doors with dust & cobwebs on them. Remember why dust settles.
This guide has now passed thousands of views! Big thank you to everyone who continues to share (my posts & your story too) & be a big part of my life as my digital family!
You guys make my days so much brighter & I hope you know how much you mean to me!
I’ve lost 60 lbs thanks to carnivore & intermittent fasting! Follow me on Instagram (@lil_bit_of_fit) to see my day-to-day journey with living a meat-based life as a rockin travel xray tech & almost 42 year old athlete of life with Crohn’s Disease. (Birthday July 2nd 🎉)
I tried every diet in the book to lose weight & heal my gut issues. While I did see occasional results, I eventually couldn’t sustain it and then yo-yo’d. IF & carnivore have been the simplest and most manageable way I have found to improve my health & fitness (and stick with it).
This post is intended for my friends (and friends of friends) who have been following my health journey on Instagram, Facebook, or have asked how to get started. Because the interest has been in the thousands (so amazing!), I’ve wanted to share this information more publicly.
In the interest of time, I’ve created this super quick educational start guide with a couple troubleshooting videos!
Let’s dive into fasting & why you may not be seeing results.
I see this oftentimes with all y’all chronically under eating, trying to do protein sparing modified fasting (PSMF) or OMAD (one meal a day) with a disordered eating history.
Tap for a short video on why fasting may not be working for you!
Yes, I prefer to utilize intermittent fasting. It works best for my digestion. I eat when I’m hungry & fast when I’m not. Typical fasting window is around 14-20hrs, biggest meal I consume after my workout in the am. I also love to incorporate fat & carb cycling. It is not necessary for you to fast to achieve your health and body goals no matter what diet you prefer.
Remember: health & happy hormones first.
Here’s a previous video answering a client question talking about why fasting wasn’t working for her
Intermittent fasting, also known as intermittent energy restriction, is simply an umbrella term for various meal timing schedules that cycle between voluntary fasting or reduced calorie intake and eating over a given period of time.
It is just a tool to help you to manage meal times & calorie intake, it is not a dirty word nor is it a quick fix or magic pill. There are 100 different ways to “fast” & everyone has their own “definition” of what they consider fasting. Some drink coffee & water, some don’t. Some use no calorie sweeteners, some don’t. There are more optimal times, situations, & schedules that are more effective & efficient. Make sure it fits easily into your lifestyle & schedule. Pick whatever suits your needs. Remember adherence & consistency are always keys!
Most utilize the 16/8 or 14/10 or 12/10 windows. (Fast 16 hrs/eat 8) You can also periodically fast 24 hrs or longer. I personally do NOT do extended fasts.
16/8, 14/10, 12/12 Protocols – Ex: Fast 16hrs/8hr eating window
OMAD – One meal a day, fast the rest
TMAD – Two meals a day, fast the rest
PSMF – Protein Sparing Modified Fasts: highly restrictive diet that involves severely limiting the intake of calories, carbs, & fat & consuming only lean (zero-low fat) protein
5:2 – Eat normal 5 days, restrict calories to 500-600 for 2 days
Eat Stop Eat – Eat normal for 5 days then fast for 24hrs for 2 days
4:3 or Alternate Day Fasting – Fast every other day, eat normal on non-fasting days
Skip Meals Spontaneously – skip meals when you’re not hungry
Will fasting help me lose body fat?
Why your story & background matter when it comes to fasting efficacy
Before we dive into fasting deets I want to reiterate & touch on WHY your story & food/dieting/health history matter when it comes to the experiences & results you get (or lack of).
Lets be honest, the main reason most people choose the Carnivore Diet & utilizing fasting is because they want fat loss. That’s fine, we all wanna look good nekkid, HOWEVER, the difference lies in our starting point: calorically, metabolically, hormonally, physiologically, mentally, emotionally – the whole picture.
I feel we really should approach any nutrition protocol from a health/healing perspective, first, aesthetic perspective, second.
Some of us come from the SAD (Standard American Diet), some have been dieting basically our entire lives & still think 1200 calories is the magic number for weight loss, some fear fat, some fear carbs, some are binge eating &/or suffering from disordered eating & still in denial, some come from Keto, some have been struggling with gut issues/autoimmune stuff for decades & really have no idea what they can eat.
All of these different stories & starting points impact the transition & adaptation to any diet. You do not have to fast at all if you don’t want to.
Usually I see two different stories, & thus experiences, when working with clients. We’ll call them Peter & Patty.
Are you Peter or Patty?
PETER
Peter is male, used to over consuming the typical SAD, dad bod (aka looks like he might lick something deemed “healthy” & work out occasionally but really loves tacos & would much rather smash a 6 pack vs have a 6 pack). Simply eating meat & cutting out all the other crap significantly reduces his caloric intake & the fat just falls off.
PATTY
Patty is female, lets say 30-40yrs old, habitual yo-yo dieter, excessive exerciser, wants to lose fat & build muscle but doesn’t wanna be “bulky” (sigh smdh), scared to eat more than 1200-1500 calories & gaining weight is one of her biggest fears.
She’s tried every diet in the book. Had some success with “Keto” (doesn’t really know what keto means but she’s eating less carbs right?!) but always falls off the wagon, stressful home life/ job, struggled with bloating & gut issues for years.
Her neighbor, Peter, looks great since carnivore, so she decides it’s gonna be the magic quick fix to all her issues. Sooo Patty stops tracking food (because she was told it didn’t matter on the carnivore diet) & starts smashin all the bacon, ribeyes, cheese, ribs, & chicken wings.
Her gut issues get better, the first week she dropped 3lbs, but now she’s about 6 weeks in & hungry, tired, & the scale is going up! So she decided to start fasting more, & ups her steps to 20k/d. (Further stressing her body out more btw).
She gives it another month with more weight gain. She wants to quit after a couple months despite her gut issues resolving. It doesn’t work she says, “I didn’t lose weight.”
Things that matter when choosing any diet, macros, calories, &/or fasting protocols
Training modalities (how you prefer to workout. CrossFit vs running vs yoga vs Orange Theory vs walking vs Barre vs Bodybuilding vs power lifting etc)
That’s a LOT of stuff, right? It’s not as simple as just picking a set of macro numbers, or calories, or a magic diet camp or fasting protocol. You are not a template or calculator, you’re a human. This is why we set up coaching consultations to help you!
A BIG reminder, we should not be dieting any more than 1-2 times per year, no longer than 12-16 weeks. You should be chillin, eating at your maintenance calories, enjoying life and getting strong AF the majority of the year! Like this chart? Allllll the free content available on Instagram!
Why should I try fasting?
It’s simple, eating fewer times works better for your schedule, less thinking/measuring. Your lifestyle aligns w/your eating schedule. Helpful when in a calorie deficit to allot larger meals.
Metabolic flexibility. It will utilize the fuel from previous meals/glycogen first, then it will use your fat stores to fuel your day.
Hunger response. Are you bored or really hungry? You learn/feel the difference. A big reason I would utilize IF with clients. It helps connect with your body’s true hunger signals.
Benefits of fasting: hormone balance, reduced insulin resistance, risk of diabetes, inflammation, improved focus, gut health & digestion, fat loss in a calorie deficit.
Why it works for fat loss
While I will reiterate fasting is not a diet, it can help with fat loss goals by creating a calorie deficit in various ways:
Reduces the number of meals in a day
Helps create food rules to prevent over eating & snacking, especially for people who are abstainers
Helps reduce your weekly calorie average
Helps you feel & get back in tune with true hunger cues which helps prevent eating when you’re not truly hungry. Many of us eat out of learned habit like eating in front of the tv at night, eating desert just because it is available, or seeing/smelling/hearing food cook
When should I not fast?
You’re on the gain train. If you’re ok cramming 3-4000 calories down your pie hole in a short amount of time go for it. For most, IF protocols are utilized for eating less calories simply by decreasing feeding time.
It screws with your mind & feels restrictive. Can’t sustain it easily & comfortably w/your lifestyle. If it increases cortisol/blood sugar/affecting your sleep/mood/energy negatively.
If you can’t feel fullness cues & eat past satiety & all you do is think about eating during your fasting — STOP! Try eating more frequent meals during the day.
Who should NOT fast &/or fasting is not ideal
Pregnant Women
Women who are nursing
People who are reverse dieting
People training for high performance
People who have abused or overly fasted
People who have chronically under eaten for an extended period of time (aka you’ve made chasing a smaller body your hobby)
People who are trying to gain muscle
Women a week before their cycle
People healing &/or struggling with adrenal insufficiency & fatigue
People with eating disorders &/or disordered eating habits, poor relationships with food, exercise, &/or body image where restriction is a huge trigger
Getting Started
Chances are that you’ve already done many intermittent fasts in your life.
If you’ve ever eaten dinner, then slept late and not eaten until lunch the next day, then you’ve probably already fasted for 16+ hours.
Some people instinctively eat this way. They simply don’t feel hungry in the morning.
Many people consider the 16/8 method the simplest and most sustainable way of intermittent fasting — you might want to try this practice first.
If you find it easy and feel good during the fast, then have fun, experiment and maybe try moving on to more advanced fasts like 24-hour fasts 1–2 times per week (Eat-Stop-Eat) or only eating 500–600 calories 1–2 days per week (5:2 diet).
Another approach is to simply fast whenever it’s convenient — simply skip meals from time to time when you’re not hungry or don’t have time to cook.
There is no need to follow a structured intermittent fasting plan to derive at least some of the benefits.
Experiment with the different approaches and find something that you enjoy and fits your schedule.
At the end of the day, there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to nutrition. The best diet for you is the one you can stick to in the long run.
I find for those who have a poor relationship with carbs & sugar, chronic gut or health issues, autoimmune needs, etc for example, a lower carb, animal or meat-based approach is extremely effective for health, healing, & fat loss.
👇older posts to reference for ideas & help👇
Here’s my routine & what has help me drop lbs & put my Crohn’s disease & bulimia in med-free remission.
Intermittent fasting is great for some people, not others. The only way to find out which group you belong to is to try it out.
If you feel good when fasting and find it to be a sustainable way of eating, it can be a very powerful tool to lose weight and improve your health.
I wanna be with someone that would divorce me if I gained 50lbs.
Now hear me out…morning ponderings & real talk…
I’ve thought a lot about my journey of becoming my best self: past mistakes, my health, my fitness journey, my relationships, & every facet of 50 shades of f*cked up & beautiful on this ride.
For those of you new here I’ll be 42 years old this year & still don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing. It’s ok. I love every minute of this life! I’m grateful for all the sh*t I’ve been through because it’s made me the woman writing this today in this journal entry.
My opening statement isn’t about weight gain & aesthetic changes, it’s about being THE PERSON & with a partner who holds high standards for themselves too & one who makes me want to be a better woman, partner — human.
A reminder for myself & maybe you too 🤷♀️to be with people who make you want to be the best version of yourself. Maybe they make you feel a little uncomfortable. Good. Choose people who are different & help you grow.
I set these standards for all relationships — platonic, business, & romantic.
Why? Because it influences who you are.
I understand we’ve all been taught about these “fantasy” relationships & unconditional love …
… I believe love is conditional because people change & that’s totally OK. Lovingly allow the right people into your lives yet also realize it’s OK to lovingly release those who do not fit your nonnegotiable conditions.
👉 The game of relationships & choosing wisely @hormozi 👌🏻 🎙️
