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📸Life drop lately + 9 life lessons from 2024 that make me the woman writing this today…
You make the clothes, you define your style, you create enjoyment in your job, your profession, you sexify your weight, your fitness, your energy, your relationship(s), the way you make people feel, etc. YOU wear your “costume”, not the other way around. I’ve embraced the lifestyle of minimalism & it has significantly improved my health too. Read more about that story here.
It’s okay to be weird. Different. Misunderstood. Normal people get normal outcomes. Your weirdness is a gift.
You’re not bad at anything. You simply need more reps. Practice. Stop judging yourself & do the work.
At the end of the day we are a tiny spec within a giant galaxy & when we die nothing matters. So stop worrying & do the sh*t you love & build a legacy.
Emotions & motivation are fleeting but your character is forever & forever changing. Reflect, act, & define wisely. Choose better. Do better.
Your life is a story. When you’re faced with a chapter you don’t like, ask yourself: “What following chapter do I want to write about for what happens next?” I shared my weight loss story here.
Material things are only valuable if they truly give you energy. Same with people, things, environments — basically EVERYTHING you consume. Love people, use things, be USEFUL.
There are no rules, do what feels right. Choose your own adventure. Happy people don’t spend their lives TRYING to be happy, they do what they want & happiness is a byproduct.
The person that’s capable of saving the day and fixing all your problems, is you.
In a world where most try to keep you in a box. I hope I’m the person who shows you there are no limits for yourself.
Oxox Coach K❤️
Like blogs like these? Come adventure & get FIT with me!
Katie Kelly is a nutritionist, writer, travel registered radiologic technologist, Indiana farmer’s daughter, Crohn’s warrior, experience collector, and athlete of life. Former hot mess down 60lbs + financially free with nothin’ but an airfryer & a prayer. Location: Aging gracefully somewhere between scrubs & steak.
On social, she’s better known as Coach K, but most of all wants you to know she’s struggled just like you. More importantly, she wants you to believe in yourself, your health, your voice, & your ability to live your best life!
Looking for more from Katie? Join her newsletter here❤️
A few painful things I learned while self healing: If you’re angry or regretful you’re hoarding & livin’ in the past. If you’re worrying, you’re livin’ in the future. If you can look back & smile, look forward & smile, & you’re content…well, that’s when you know you’re livin’ graciously in the present.
And that’s when life all started to make sense.
That truth is what I hold onto every day. It doesn’t mean things are always easy, in fact, I’ve had really frickin hard times on some of these travel Xray assignments, but…
I always learn new things
I always discover I’m tougher & more able
I acknowledge & savor growth is never comfortable. It’s what has made me perfectly imperfect & wise.
How you handle discomfort says it all & I choose to handle them with grace like a boss😉👑
A trip down memory lane from 1 year ago, Photo dump of a weekend on my travels in #omahanebraska I LOVE it there! Hoping to go back soon! My heart & soul are were happy there. Some places make an imprint on your life & never leave.
Open up to opportunities & people that make life more fun. It’s that simple. There’s no right time or specific version of yourself needed when you’re setting goals, living in alignment, embracing your purpose & loving yourself.
Ask yourself what you’re livin’ for & who you’re livin’ for, & if neither of those answers are YOU, even if you think you’re weird as hell, you’re livin’ the wrong life.
And if I can offer you anything today, one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s MY JOB to create a joyful reality & I choose to treat others better than they’ve treated me.
So let everyday be YOURS. OWN IT & don’t apologize for who you are🫶 Home is wherever you are.
Oxox
Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure & get FIT with me!
I posted this picture of myself sitting in my living room one morning 7 years ago. I used to hate looking at Facebook memories. Now I admire in awe at the beautiful transformation of my life & spirit this go round.
I actually enjoy checking memories. They remind me I’m alive. They remind me I lived. They remind me I still have a lot more AMAZING life to savor. To learn. To adventure. To experience.
Some of these memories bring pain. Like salt on a wound. Some are sweet like the most decadent treat. Some sting & burn so good…So. Good. Like a fine bourbon or strong coffee.
Some simple thoughts of awareness. Some things I enjoy, things I’ve learned & simple raindrops of life sprinkled on the pages of my storybook thus far…
I like cutting my meat with scissors ✂️ Easier. More efficient.
I love supporting small business & giving back to others as much as I can. It brings me more fulfillment than any fancy stuff I could buy for myself. I love & welcome in all the money into my life so that I can invest it into others & things that truly matter.
I’m way prettier in my more natural state without make up & fake stuff on my face. With age comes wisdom, thank goodness. And thank goodness I didn’t have social media back in college😂
I really love embracing this life of more minimalism. It has given me much freedom & energy to focus on things that truly mean the most to me versus worrying about what I’m going to wear or dreading packing up all this “stuff” when I leave to another travel Xray assignment.
I really, really love my careers & my life at 42. It’s far from perfect & makes absolutely no sense sometimes 😆 but I am infinitely happy in the now & for the woman I’ve become. For the loving family & friends I have, have made, & will make.
And if I was to pass on today or tomorrow, this would be enough❤️ And I’m forever grateful.
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life with me, too!
Well, the love story would be one of perpetually going through breakups. Breakups with friends, men, partners, jobs, family. Even those who I “thought was THE one.”
— I really believed this.
Some partners, I just didn’t feel good when we were together. I would feel anxious when I was around them, even if it was long distance. You know the ones where they may be on their way to see you, & where you should feel elated, would literally feel sick to your stomach. (Maybe that was just me😳🫣🤔)
And after a while, I decided, okay, this is f*cked up & NOT working. I have to do something else.
And I did.
I did a LOT of work around getting myself into the right place holistically for real relationships, including the most important, the one with myself.
When The “Love Of Your Life” Lets You Go.
Ooof 🤢
Yup.
Been there, too.
Makes you instantly wanna throw up, cry, scream, maybe down gallons of ice cream or bourbon. Pick your numbing mechanism.
Took me decades to realize there is no “One” or single “Love of your life.” And rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, sometimes it’s misalignment. Sometimes it means the other person was blind to notice the amazingness you have to offer. And it always means, there’s something better.
Life happens FOR you, not TO you.
I got to the depths of why I was having some of these complications in my relationships through a lot of solitude & inner work well into my 40’s.
One epiphanous day, something I asked myself was, “Why do you want a relationship?”
What is the purpose of being in a relationship? And I had never really thought about that before. It was always like, oh, because it’s just what you do.🤷🏼♀️
Like it feels nice, whatever. And what I realized when I really thought about it was that my life is beautiful & I have intentionally designed it & it’s delicious. But I believe that my self discovery & my life cannot be as exceptional when it’s just me. And in order for a life to be exceptional, I believe you need other people in it. Friends, family, partners, strangers, creative collaborators & Lovers.
I think that’s important. And so once I got to that place of being like, “THIS is why I want this!” I felt like I was in a completely different place to approach love & relationships.
😉 To be continued…
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
I stumbled upon an Albert Einstein quote one morning that said: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
Ooof. Mind blowing 🤯
I thought about how that statement applied to many pages in my storybook life — to college at Purdue University, to Radiology School, to relationships, my finances, to most importantly, MYSELF. MY self awareness (or lack of). The understanding of ME.
“You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you” — Wayne Dyer
It took me years to learn to respect myself, including giving myself Grace. When people treated me poorly, I was convinced I was to blame or that I somehow deserved it.
Kids made fun of weight, the way I looked, my “poor farmer’s kid clothes.” Boyfriends cheated on me, lied to me, abused me.
When I finally developed enough robustness & self-esteem to honor my boundaries, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.
“Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself” – Mark Manson
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it — it just blooms” — Sensei Ogui
The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is with the person you were yesterday.
“The only zen you’ll find on mountaintops is the zen you bring up there with you” — Alan Watts
In other words, you’ll never find peace unless it’s within. The same goes for love. The same goes for fulfillment, health, self expression.
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without” — Buddha
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for” – Epicurus
In a world that’s constantly seeking more — more results, more performance, more money, more social proof — this immediately brings me into a state of appreciation and gratitude.
When I’m longing for something more than what I have right now I’m living in some imaginary future and I’m missing everything in the here and now. I feel this way about dating apps (& boredom scrolling on social in general) currently. I deleted dating apps & significantly reduced me social time, using it only with intention in time blocks. I feel apps & boredom scrolling steals my presence & blinds me to the wonderful people & opportunities in front of me.
“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being” — Eckhart Tolle
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
When we can observe reality without judging or labelling people & things as good or bad, we can think and respond more appropriately. This is a form of wisdom & mastery.
Everything is simply an experience. We attach a label to the meaning of the experience. Only when I learned how to live untethered & to flow like water, did I learn how to truly live a peaceful life.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” — Viktor E. Frankl
“If you can’t get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you can’t create a new future where those things don’t exist” — Dr. Joe Dispenza
He then went on to add:
“If you were looking at a timeline of your day, starting with waking up in the morning and continuing until you go to bed that night, you could pick up that timeline of yesterday or today (your past) and place it in the space reserved for tomorrow (the future) because essentially the same actions you took today are the ones you are going to take tomorrow — and the day after that, and the day after that.
Let’s face it: If you keep the same routine as yesterday, it makes sense that your tomorrow is going to be a lot like your yesterday. Your future is just a rerun of your past. That’s because your yesterday is creating your tomorrow.”
“You are an infinite spiritual being having a temporary human experience” — Wayne Dyer
I know now when my human body fades and dies, my spirit will live on. Not because it’s “mine” but because “My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.” — Jim Carrey
And that’s eternal.
“Love is what we are; Fear is what we learn”
It doesn’t matter how far we stray down the wrong path then because there will always be an intelligence that brings us back into our hearts. So, rest easy. Because “We’re all just walking each other home.” — Ram Dass
Love you all❤️
oxox
Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
When I was in my 20’s & early 30’s, I used to drink A LOT on the weekends.
Every Friday and Saturday night, my friends and I would head to a local bar. We’d start with a few beers or cocktails, have dinner, and then head out for the second half of the night, often drinking until 3 a.m. Finally, after 12 hours of overindulging, I’d pass out in my bed until noon the next day. I’d wake up to the bad decisions still lingering from the night before.
I’m embarrassed to say this behavior went on for years. I was, by some definitions, an alcoholic. And eventually my binge drinking ended me in the hospital, on a vent with a blood alcohol level of .346. I’m lucky I survived.
I had terrible side effects: I hated my unfulfilling life, had anxiety attacks, binge eating, gut symptoms, my Crohn’s disease was out of control, relationships in the shitter, & over 50k in debt.
I share this story as a cautionary tale, but I’m not here to say that you should never drink alcohol. I still drink occasionally, but I use it now with respect to enhance and savor an experience. I no longer drink to get drunk. I rarely have more than one drink or a few savory sips.
If you’ve recognized that you drink too much &/or binge eat, then it’s time to implement a life edit & the system that worked for me when I was cutting back.
Love this blog! Wonderful tips on how to do a life edit!
This system uses five simple steps that anyone can follow, and over time, builds habits that dramatically reduce your dependency on alcohol and junk food.
Step 1: Spend Time with the Right People (Your environment is everything!) This lesson comes straight from entrepreneur, author, and speaker Jim Rohn. Here’s the gist: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If you spend your time with people who are getting drunk all the time & eating shit food, then guess what you’re going to do?
Think about it—do you really think you’re going to have superhuman willpower and be able to stop at one drink or eat healthy when all of your friends are grabbing a second, third, and fourth and smashing pizza and nachos all night?
On the other hand, if you spend your time with people that drink less, they eat well & exercise often—then you’ll soon have control over your poor habits. Pick your friends wisely.
Step 2: Slow Down It’s easy to say you’re going to stick to just one drink or eat a healthy, protein based meal when meeting a friend after work in the right atmosphere. But when the bar is buzzing and you’re starting to loosen, slowing down just isn’t going to happen. The next thing you know, you’ve downed that first beer or cocktail in record time and you’re ready for a second & a huge plate of loaded fries because you’ve numbed you’re decision thinking.
Here’s how you get over the “suck it down vs savor” urge: Order a drink that doesn’t go down so easily. Mine is vodka water. Even better, order a shot and a water then mix your own. That way you are in charge of the alcohol content you consume.
Once upon a time, I used to love drinking margaritas, malibu & coke, & anything sweet! The trouble was, they were sweet and I have a strong sweet-tooth & poor relationship with carbs and sugar. They’re triggers to binge eating (& bulimia), over indulging, gut issues, & me feeling like crap. It’s no surprise that those drinks went down fast and easy.
These days, I order bourbon, a glass of vodka & water on the rocks or maybe tequila & water on the rocks. If I want flavor, I add electrolytes (Ultima Replenisher or LMNT) to my water. The flavor is powerful—and remarkably un-sweet—so I sip it instead of down it. As a result, I don’t drink more than I should.
Success requires removing obstacles, leading yourself out of temptation, and getting accountability to stick to your goals. With these in place, you’ll soon kick the booze & junk food to the curb and start enjoying more nourishing, higher performance days—moving you closer to your big goals and dreams.
Step 3: One Drink of Alcohol + One Glass of Water. Stick to Protein at Meals. This one seems obvious, but so many people forget to drink water while they’re enjoying alcohol. It’s critical to keep yourself hydrated—not only to prevent hangovers the next morning, but also for slowing down your intake. Every time you finish a cocktail, beer, or glass of wine, make sure to take a pause from the booze and down a glass of water.
Keep your meals to a lean protein source like chicken breast, lean beef, pork, or seafood. You’ll be more satiated & less likely to overindulge. Grilled chicken is my go to.
Step 4: Ask Yourself These 2 Questions Before Eating 2 things changed my relationship with food. They allowed me to beat binge eating & lose 60 pounds while healing my gut👇
1️⃣Before I ate, I asked myself, “How does this food make me feel?” ⁃ Does it help or hinder? ⁃ Do I feel energized & satisfied? Bloated & tired? ⁃ Am I still enjoying my meal? No? Time to stop eating. Yes? Ok, I’ll eat a little more. ⁃ Does it make my gut feel happy & healthy? Or inflamed & painful? ⁃ Does it support me physiologically, aesthetically, & mentally?
2️⃣I asked myself, “As fuel, what am I using this food for?” ⁃ To fuel a workout? A meeting? Playing with your kids? A walk? ⁃ Am I truly physiologically hungry or am I bored & this just a craving? ⁃ Am I numbing a difficult emotion with this food?
The food, environment, habits, & information you consume each day are the soil from which your future thoughts, body, & reality are grown! Many of the best things in life grow along the way by simply having better awareness, understanding, & then once you know better, you CHOOSE BETTER!
Start hanging out with high value people & success & love grows along the way.
Start exercising & eating well & motivation + results grow along the way.
Start writing, therapy, spending time alone & aligned inspiration grows along the way.
Start now & watch the feelings & results follow!
Step 5: Schedule Something for the Next Morning Let’s say you’re planning on heading to the bars on Friday night. Set up a workout, an appointment or meeting for Saturday morning. Knowing that you have that appointment—and that you have to be ready for it—will keep you from going overboard at the bars. (I often recommend setting up a physical activity. Your body will hate you if you try to do it while nursing a hangover, so you’ll quickly learn not to overindulge.)
These five steps can help you cut back on alcohol & binge eating and regain control so that you can focus on the more important things in life.
For example, cutting back on my drinking allowed me to tackle my gut issues, have better sleep, higher energy, more mental clarity, more money, and more freedom to focus on my life’s work – serving ya’ll!
Success requires removing obstacles, leading yourself out of temptation, and getting accountability to stick to your goals. With these in place, you’ll soon kick less optimal habits to the curb and moving you closer to your big goals and dreams.
When you’re ready to move from distractions like alcohol to the tools and routines that build your dream body and life, I urge you to check out resources that helped me + a Blog Guide I created just for you documenting how I lost 60lbs, healed my gut, & beat binge eating:
♡𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨… Now that I’m over 40 — I would love to have coffee with my 21 year old self.
It’s the perfect paradox. I wish I could share the wisdom I have now with my younger self, yet that wisdom came from all the f*ck ups I made😂 🤷🏼♀️ So, without the mistakes, I’m not sure I’d have anything important to say to that younger version of myself.
Purdue University. #boilerup I remember nights out in college with my Delta Gamma sorority sisters & Block & Bridle Club aggies. (I graduated with a Bachelors in Animal Science from the school of Ag btw. Fun fact 😉 🎓).
Thirsty Thursday’s with Bruce the Piano Man at the Neon Cactus. Those huge cups, cheap drinks, & priceless memories were epic. (Minus the waking up hungover af the next day after smashing Mad Mushroom 🍄 🍕 pizza & cheese sticks 🙈🫣🫥🤭)
I’d implore her to laugh like that more & worry less. As women, maybe wives, moms, friends, daughters, etc we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to orchestrate & capture magical moments for our loved ones, for others.
I wish I could tell that 21 year old version of myself that the magic will happen without the pressure of a perfect social media shot & Pinterest board. Sure, snap a few pictures, but don’t let the pressure of trying to get the perfect shot interfere with absorbing the moments.
Case in point: I remember going to Disney as a child. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t remember talking about how much fun we had at Disney. I do, however, LOL when I talk about the road trips to get there. For some reason, a favorite is my dad wearing a fanny pack & the excitement of taking the back seats out of the van so we could “camp” on the way there. And the singing to oldies🎶
We often stayed at an economical hotel. I remember things like bike rides, seeing Jurassic Park on vaca & sea shells on the beach, coming back from the park & enjoying the swimming pool and the tiny arcade off the lobby.
Because life happens in the in-between moments.
I remember the hotel with much more clarity than I remember the magic of Disney or a specific location.
Take care of yourself. I wish I could convince that younger version of myself that the world wouldn’t collapse if I gave myself a day off of work or the gym or whatever stupid diet I was doing.
I wish I could convince that younger version of me to build a true, aligned tribe she could count on sooner. I figured it out, but not until my late 30’s. I found that small inner, high value circle would have my back no matter what, & who got to see all my flaws & love me anyway.
I’m grateful I learned the lesson about needing a tribe, but mostly the importance of building a home in myself first. Now, everywhere I go, I make home AND I know with confidence I can be happy anywhere because that power comes from within me.
Dream big, but don’t be afraid to change your target if your season changes.
I had big dreams for family, career, finances, & travel. At some point, it became clear that I had fallen for the lie that I could have it all or even knew what I wanted or what tf I was doing.
Reassessing our goals & adjusting our dreams is part of life. As you learn about yourself & life, you learn more about where you want to invest your energy. Give yourself permission to change your definition of success, & never forget that your definition is the one that matters, not the one painted by social media, society, or your peer group.
Release control, laugh more, worry less.
This is the advice 21 year old *me* needed most of all. Even today, I’m not sure I would be the most equipped to give that advice, as I still struggle with releasing control.
I work harder at acknowledging useless worry than I did back then, bringing a measure of hard-earned peace. If I could buy that 21 year old version of myself a cup of coffee & tell her all the wisdom we gained over the next few decades, would I be doing her any favors?
After all, we’ve made it this far, & I kind of like who the two of us became.❤️🫶
A while back, I was a podcast guest & panelist for fitness & leadership workshops for companies like Burn Boot Camp, Orange Theory, CrossFit, & privately owned health & wellness entrepreneurs.
One of the ideas that many resonated with as I spoke of my experiences with body image, gut issues, weight loss & evolving perspectives on life & fitness transformation in general was my “8 Forms of Wealth” ideal I embraced from Robin Sharma.
In my mind, health, wealth, happiness, & fulfillment aren’t just about making money & being skinny. They are world-class levels to embrace whenever you’re ready.
You meet, love, & accept people & the reality of your life only as deep as you meet, love, & accept yourself. You KNOW you.
It’s like If you’re wondering if someone likes you, you will not have to go to f*cking tarot card readers, investigators, & some shiz to find out. Your inner compass knows.
Inner Wealth: a positive mindset, self-respect, internal peace & strong spiritual connection, clarity around your values & targets you’d like to achieve along your journey.
Physical Wealth: Your health is your wealth. What’s the point of getting to a great place in your life or career if you get sick doing it? Don’t be the “best” coworker or businessperson in the hospital. Why be the richest person in the cemetery? Most GREAT leaders & successful peeps are in great health.
Relationship Wealth: When your social life & circle is joyful & nourishing, you will perform better at life, period. It is imperative to forge deep connections with family, friends, community, colleagues, role models & trusted advisors.
Career Wealth: Getting to greatness in your profession brings a feeling of satisfaction & fulfillment. It helps you shine & is good for your self-respect. Be so good at what you do that you leave everyone in your presence spellbound.
Economic Wealth: Yes, money is important. It’s not the most important thing in life, but it absolutely makes life easier & better. Money allows you freedom! Like to live in a nice home, take beautiful vacations & provide well for those you love. I like to say: “The more I make, the more I can give away!”
Circle of Genius: You become who/ what you spend time with, & these influences affect your health, mindset, & performance. “Lead without needing a title” & surround yourself with exceptional people—their stardust will rub off on you.
Adventure Success: To be fulfilled, each of us needs adventure, awe, & novelty in our lives! Adventure is necessary for growth. The human brain craves novelty. And we are creative beings, so we need to be creating & learning constantly if we hope to feel joy. Perfection is nowhere required here, but effort is. I f*ck up sh*t all the time too, but lots of lessons in experience (ranging from meeting new people to visiting new places) is an essential element of authentic wealth!
Impact Wealth: The deepest longing of my human heart & spirit is to live for something greater than myself. Each of us craves to be significant. To make a difference. To know that the world has somehow been better because we have been here. Leaders leave a legacy.
I invite you to focus on each of these elements. Money & being jacked or skinny alone do not define being happy, healthy, & wealthy.
Don’t go back to containers & doors with dust & cobwebs on them. Remember why dust settles.
I wanna be with someone that would divorce me if I gained 50lbs.
Now hear me out…morning ponderings & real talk…
I’ve thought a lot about my journey of becoming my best self: past mistakes, my health, my fitness journey, my relationships, & every facet of 50 shades of f*cked up & beautiful on this ride.
For those of you new here I’ll be 42 years old this year & still don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing. It’s ok. I love every minute of this life! I’m grateful for all the sh*t I’ve been through because it’s made me the woman writing this today in this journal entry.
My opening statement isn’t about weight gain & aesthetic changes, it’s about being THE PERSON & with a partner who holds high standards for themselves too & one who makes me want to be a better woman, partner — human.
A reminder for myself & maybe you too 🤷♀️to be with people who make you want to be the best version of yourself. Maybe they make you feel a little uncomfortable. Good. Choose people who are different & help you grow.
I set these standards for all relationships — platonic, business, & romantic.
Why? Because it influences who you are.
I understand we’ve all been taught about these “fantasy” relationships & unconditional love …
… I believe love is conditional because people change & that’s totally OK. Lovingly allow the right people into your lives yet also realize it’s OK to lovingly release those who do not fit your nonnegotiable conditions.
👉 The game of relationships & choosing wisely @hormozi 👌🏻 🎙️
“Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it is the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up.”
I sat the other morning with coffee ☕️, talking with my plants about personal awakenings surrounding partnership & relationship 🪷🪴☺️ (I’m weird. It’s ok 😆 At least I’m high vibe🥰 haha! High five 🙌 to all my fellow woke weirdos)
Maybe y’all can relate to some of my thoughts & feelings 🤷♀️ Hope they resonate in a way that you need to find clarity, clear the cobwebs, or serve as a provoking thought conversation starter.
For those of you who are new here, I’ve struggled with relationships basically my entire life. It’s been about remembering myself. Not losing myself in another. Building a home in myself so that I can be that safe space and partner for another, too.
I’ve been divorced twice. Casually dated all different kinds of men. I’m really proud of myself for creating a kick ass self partnered life that I am so grateful for. But I do truly believe we are not meant to go through this life alone. I just haven’t quite been sure what kind of a partnership is right for me. I acknowledge not every relationship is meant to last forever, honoring whatever time a contract serves.
I understand now that I simply need a partner that sees & accepts me as I am, my whole self. “Flaws” quirks & all. Not just for my looks. One that does not judge/criticize but allows me to be my weird little self.
Someone who can fall in love with their safe space. One like simply sitting in solitude appreciating the sweet sounds & murals of nature outside.
I understand that I do have to be emotionally, mentally, AND physically attracted initially to a person, because that does not develop later. (For me) I’ve tried to force this in the past. Doesn’t work.
I no longer allow myself to let relationships romantically continue if I do not feel romantically attracted to that person.
I’ve realized I have had a lot of wonderful friendships with men, i’m naturally a “guys girl” being raised with brothers & on a farm. What I thought potentially was a romantic relationship on many occasions was a platonic attraction to someone.
So yes, I feel I have broken a lot of hearts, but I’m proud of myself for being honest. Honest in telling those people that I love them (because I do), but our relationship was more in the “friend zone” kind of way.
I align to someone that loves me not just for my looks or what I can do for them. I desire a partner that simply makes me feel safe & protected, special & appreciated. Money comes and goes. But I know you can always build a better life together with someone that makes you feel the way you want feel & aligned with your energy.
Memories & experiences are everything & meant to be shared. We weren’t meant to go through this life alone forever.
I used to think I needed a super successful, rich business man type. And I have dated many wealthy men because I needed those experiences. But what I discovered was that I actually wanted that success for myself so I had to go out and create that for myself. Which I did 👏🏼 I didn’t need that through another.
I had to show myself that I could travel and be free and be successful and create my own business & opportunities scaled to my needs, on my own. I didn’t need someone else to do that for me.
I realized I needed the aligned partner that made me feel emotionally & physically the way I wanted to feel, and that gift, that package, was probably going to be different than what I expected.
So I opened my mind and my heart to that concept and simply followed what I loved & was drawn to. I followed what I felt was right, and listened to the signs and the things, places, & people that I was drawn to whether I understood it or not.
I admit, there were/are many times I’m like l. “Katie you are f*cking crazy. I do not understand why you resonate & are so drawn to certain things.”
BUT… I know that I walk by FAITH, not by sight.
I enjoy & admire partners that let me take care of them. Not in the mommy role kind of way. But in the energy of allowing my to embrace my feminine strengths. To be soft & let a man take care of me, too.
I know my “role and my place.” I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I don’t say that in a disrespectful way, but one of self-awareness and appreciation.
i’m very very good at taking care of a household and I make shit happen because I am driven and I am strong. I am the glue. I am a natural caretaker. I am able and extremely resourceful and resilient because this life has made me that way and I’m grateful.
I cannot thank my parents enough for helping me build a solid foundation in myself. Same for people who were cruel and harsh to me. I appreciate every time they were hard on me &/or had high expectations because it made me the woman that I am today.
Although I do not wish to fall into the role of mother & teacher, as I know, I deserve an equal partner, I do acknowledge that I excel in both of these places, but I do so respectively.
I do not desire to be more masculine than my other half, I understand some women are guarded, and maybe a little defensive sometimes when it comes to allowing a man to be a man and take care of them. “Men” are natural providers and I feel that that is their right.
Loyalty, honor, duty, understanding, & respect are vital, really when it comes to supporting men especially in a certain environment.
I had to understand throughout my journey that I had to love myself as I was, first. That I didn’t always need to change to suit someone else or have materialistic items, titles, things outside of myself. But, on the other hand, that it was OK to love the things that I loved that made me feel amazing from a place of self-love and not by ego.
We all deserve abundance & everything that we desire. We weren’t meant to go through this life miserable, living in scarcity & fear.
Abundance is everywhere & love is everywhere if we let it in. And all of this comes via our unique journey and self-awareness, unlocking the doors to everything we have ever desired.
Thank you for reading my thoughts from the pages of my heart, my storybook, that I pour into the notes pages of my iPhone 📲 💕
Oxox Coach K
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