Category: Relationships

As one who has made all the wrong decisions before making the right ones, one thing in life I am most grateful are all the things I’ve done wrong that didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped because they taught me how to do things right & how to roll with life.

I made all the wrong decisions with my health, relationships, & finances.

Had a message from a gal this mornin, she stated she was single, broke, & miserable. I felt her anguish, & I’m here to tell you you define your reality. It is what YOU make it.

Sometimes it takes a heart break &/or us f*cking up in business/health/relationships to shake us awake & help us see we are so much more than what we’re settling for.

I refuse to live a life of mediocracy. I decided this yrs ago, 2018 to be exact, when I was living out of my office, showering at gyms, going thru a heartbreak, barely had enough money to purchase groceries, & no idea what the f*ck I was doing or where I was going.
I just knew I was meant for more.

Things still aren’t perfect but I am so grateful for what I have, hopeful & excited for what’s ahead. I am ruthlessly resilient & diligent. Mental fortitude, getcha some.
Ain’t nobody gonna save you or cut you a check but YOU.

I responded to this gal, “There’s always something to be grateful for & if you’re not living life happy, you’re doing it all wrong. But that’s OK because along the way you’ll figure out what to do right.”

She said she couldn’t find anyone she was compatible, no one checked the boxes.🤔

Y’all, everyone will tell you to find someone with the same interests as yours, same values, yada yada…like it’s a parameter instead of a goal that can develop. And none of us are easy to be with, let’s be honest. You shouldn’t be trying to change anyone else in the process either. Let people be. And don’t accept any less yourself.

Don’t settle for ambiguous texts. Stop idolizing men or women that don’t also put you on a pedestal & do for you. If you’re wanting to up level & be a high value person, stop dating beneath your standards because you’re lonely.

Don’t settle for scraps when you deserve that whole piece of prime rib, baby🥩

Yes, you have to have some common ground. But come on, how many failed relationships have you had that started out with this criteria of checking boxes & looking for compatibility?

I’m embarrassed to say how many I’ve had 👀

They fail overtime because you don’t leave room to learn from each other, you don’t go into a relationship open minded & realize you’re both going to change as people & you have to learn how to evolve & grow together or you’re better off growing apart.

That doesn’t mean you have to hate each other. That means you have to love the other person enough AND yourself enough to know the difference.
Lovingly let people go. That’s you loving yourself. And if you can’t do that you have a lot of inner work & baggage to unpack.

My perspective has changed, I view compatibility as loves achievement – not criteria that has to be met prior to trying to get to know someone.

Imagine creating & transforming a life with the right person. The one you chose to be your favorite.

“Your favorite” should not only be the one who makes you happy but they should be the one who pisses you off, who challenges you, who loves you for all your weirdness, who tells you what you don’t want to hear but need to hear, & continues to choose you every day.

Live life happy.
Compatibility is loves achievement.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

As for me, I have no interest in settling. I read a quote that said, “Settling is what sediment does when it falls to the bottom of a sea or lake, right before it compresses for several million years & turns in to a fossil.”

I’d rather be a fine wine🍷, expensive glass of bourbon 🥃, & some Waygu beef 🥩 than a fossil.

Drop the mic 🎤

Oxox Coach K