Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
A few painful things I learned while self healing: If you’re angry or regretful you’re hoarding & livin’ in the past. If you’re worrying, you’re livin’ in the future. If you can look back & smile, look forward & smile, & you’re content…well, that’s when you know you’re livin’ graciously in the present.
And that’s when life all started to make sense.
That truth is what I hold onto every day. It doesn’t mean things are always easy, in fact, I’ve had really frickin hard times on some of these travel Xray assignments, but…
I always learn new things
I always discover I’m tougher & more able
I acknowledge & savor growth is never comfortable. It’s what has made me perfectly imperfect & wise.
How you handle discomfort says it all & I choose to handle them with grace like a boss😉👑
A trip down memory lane from 1 year ago, Photo dump of a weekend on my travels in #omahanebraska I LOVE it there! Hoping to go back soon! My heart & soul are were happy there. Some places make an imprint on your life & never leave.
Open up to opportunities & people that make life more fun. It’s that simple. There’s no right time or specific version of yourself needed when you’re setting goals, living in alignment, embracing your purpose & loving yourself.
Ask yourself what you’re livin’ for & who you’re livin’ for, & if neither of those answers are YOU, even if you think you’re weird as hell, you’re livin’ the wrong life.
And if I can offer you anything today, one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s MY JOB to create a joyful reality & I choose to treat others better than they’ve treated me.
So let everyday be YOURS. OWN IT & don’t apologize for who you are🫶 Home is wherever you are.
Oxox
Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure & get FIT with me!
Hey there, I’m Katie. Indiana farmer’s daughter, former hot mess, overweight, shopping addict turned minimalist mindset & carnivore guru. In 5 years, I went from totally broke, to a 60lbs healthier, financially-free minimalist. I joke & say I did most of this with nothing more than an air fryer, ground beef, & a prayer.
I currently am a nutritionist & travel radiologic technologist RT(R) with 20 years experience in the healthcare & nutrition industry. I got rid of my apartment, ditched my storage unit, & now, basically everything I own fits in the back of my 2019 Ford EcoSport (named Ruby btw). We travel all over the US somewhere between scrubs, boots, & steak.
Looking back, there is one thing I wish I had had. A friend to share the journey with me, who actually understood what I was going through. This is my hope for everything I share here & social. It’s is for you.
To be a place where you can shake off the shame of imperfection, the need to people please, & where we can both show up as our authentic selves, even if we’re still in yesterday’s sweatpants.
Think of this as a standing coffee date with an old friend whose only job is to hear you out, hype you up, remind you that you are already enough, & doesn’t mind if you spike your coffee. 😉 🥃
As always, let’s keep this simple.
Let’s keep this real.
Let’s choose our own adventures!
Life is hard enough. Welcome to my storybook & a farmer’s daughter’s guide to life.
I used to be gorger & hoarder of things. Material things.
Emotional things.
Relational things.
Food things.
Minimalism, or peacefully living with less is not something that came easy for me.
Back in my 20s & 30s I racked up those credit cards so high I was drowning in 50k+ of debt. It imprisoned me. I fully admit I was owned & controlled by my addiction to things.
My car was even repossessed at one point. I remember sinking to floor, tears streaming down my face, in disbelief & shame that I had allowed myself to get that low.
I bought things to make myself “feel better.” To numb empty feelings of aloneness in my relationship, disappointment with myself, & the void of fulfillment & purpose in my life.
I realize what’s clutter for you may not be clutter for me, & vice versa. Minimalism to me is the willingness to sit with the following question:
How might my life be more with less?
We encounter a lot of temptations in the form of things to be possessed, things to be pursued, things with which to be preoccupied.
And these become little traps for us that lead to a life of defeat, a life of discouragement, a life of distraction & so on. And so, I see minimalism as the willingness to let go of anything that gets in the way of us living our most free, authentic life.
I asked myself one morning: What is my life about? What am I about? What do I fully support & love? What is my why? Why am I here? What is the impact that I am to have? What gives me anxiety & heaviness that I can prevent or improve that will GIVE me freedom & energy?
And “clutter” became anything that got in the way of the answers to those questions.
And so when I think about wealth, I don’t think of it so much in terms of what I have, but what I do with what I have. That to me is having a more spiritual understanding of what wealth is.
For example, you could say if I were to give you a Tesla right now, that would make you wealthy.
What would truly make you wealthy is your use of that Tesla to serve other people, to solve problems, & to create value for yourself & others. That’s what wealth is. It’s defined by what we do.
And so, I like to think of minimalism as not scarcity or being better than someone else because I they’ve on less, but abundance healthfully expressed.
Minimalism doesn’t mean not wanting things or buying things we love but investing in things that make us vibrate & embody our highest selves.
For me, if it isn’t a necessity, or doesn’t bring me extreme joy, or make me money in some way — I don’t buy it or I return it. If it’s something I can’t sell, I donate to charity.
I see hoarding now as hoarding energy & holding me back. I live with an open hand, open mind, & open heart. Which means letting things & people go when it’s their time.
A minimalist lifestyle has been more than just decluttering for me. In fact, it went hand-in-hand with my spiritual awakening.
Have you ever considered the freedom you could find with breaking up with the world? Letting go of what everyone else thinks or expects from you & going with the natural flow of things?
To me, I have worked so hard or let go so much to just embrace the fact that I have no idea what’s going to happen to me tomorrow.
I used to get so beat up, so mad about the fact I used to be angry at myself feeling like I could have changed some of my life’s outcomes. And in reality, the letting go & the accepting of has been one of the best things I have done for myself & my sanity.
And it has truly allowed me to live a richer life just by changing my mindset by breaking up with the world.
I think so often we can become so consumed with the things that we see, the things that we feel, our accomplishments, what we think we are, what we think we’re capable of.
We can get so lost in our jobs, we can get lost in a partner, we can get lost in our looks, we can get lost in the opinions of other people.
And by breaking up with the world, by not letting any of these things define us or control us or rob us of joy in any way, we allow ourselves to be in control of our own joy.
I say that oftentimes the clothes were me trying to be who I thought the world wanted me to be, & the same with my fake lashes, fake nails, fancy apartment, & my “stuff.”
I invest in things now because they bring me joy & creative self expression, not to convince people to see me as I hope they would see me.
Now I love & enjoy thrift stores, consignment, goodwill, & supporting small business.
And by eliminating that “stuff,” I started taking back my power. I started telling the world who I was & who I wanted to be, & not giving a frick what people thought. It’s about boundaries.
The more I have learned to just love everything & everyone & myself as they are, as it is. And saying no to a situation or to a person isn’t me saying no to that person. It’s just me saying yes to how I spend my time, money, & energy. It’s me saying yes to my own sanity.
If I keep saying yes to everyone & everything, I am going to have nothing left to give anyone.
By letting go of my stuff, it was a way of releasing myself from people-pleasing & other people’s opinions.
Minimalism has allowed me to transform my life & release so much of the stress & the pressure of control that I used to carry with me every day.
I have been able to find so much freedom, not only in the time that it has granted me or the freedom that it allows, but the freedom in my soul that I have been able to gain because of it.
Minimalism, though at its core is having less things, but it’s really about intentional living & having the things in your life that are meaningful & energy giving to you.
Marie Kondō helped me take minimalism to another level. She wrote the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Her baseline concept is really looking at the material goods & the things that you have in your life & asking yourself, “Does this truly bring me joy?”
Before I purchase something, I ask myself, “Do I need this? Will I use this? Will this bring me joy, comfort, fulfillment, & creative self-expression enough to warrant investing my money energy on it?”
✅YES = that’s what I call “Happy Money” spent. Highly suggest reading Ken Honda’s book, Happy Money. Also a game changer.
So, for me, that was a really big shift in my mentality when it came to looking at my things. Gratitude instead of shame. Empowerment instead powerless.
That gave me the ability to look in my closet where I felt a lot of guilt when it came to expensive clothing that I bought, maybe clothes that I bought that were cute, but I never actually ended up wearing, nostalgic pieces from old boyfriends or gifts or whatever it was & make a better decision.
Like shirts that I’ve had for a long time & felt like I should still keep. I was able to approach my closet, look at some of those things & say, “Hey, thank you, white T-shirt that I can’t keep clean. I need to release you. And thank you for the good memories sweatshirt from my ex or dress from that amazing party. Thank you! But it time for me to release you & let someone else love you to allow fresh, new, better energy into my life. Thank you for bringing me joy.”
I learned to appreciate what I bought & also know that I could live untethered & separate from them without stripping my worth or a label I somehow received because of them. I really shifted from guilt to gratitude. I could say thank you for bringing me joy & put it in my donate pile with love & release.
There were times I bought something because I thought it was really going to be cute & make me feel a certain way, but the truth is 95% of the time when I go into my closet, I’m looking for something tactical, maybe a certain color, & most importantly, comfortable.
Simply appreciating & acknowledging that fact prevents you from going into the store & making more mistakes in the future.
A promise practice I created for myself: whenever I buy something, I must donate & release something. Eliminates clutter, hoarding & impulse buying.
With traveling somewhere new about every 13-26 weeks as I do for my career as a travel radiologic technologist, you realize you have to pack light & smart. You learn what you really value & what’s important to you because moving a bunch of sh*t all the time…well, you ain’t got the time or energy for that. It used to give me anxiety. Now everything I own fits in the back of my 2019 Ford EcoSport.
Screenshot
A big part of cutting down the clothes was doing a capsule wardrobe.
So what’s a capsule wardrobe?
So glad you asked 😊
Capsule wardrobes are where you intentionally buy things that are tactical, of similar style, similar color, so that most of the pieces will flow & piece together well with each other no matter what season. You have outfits that work together. So it’s just easier to pick out your clothes.
Not only will a capsule wardrobe make your life easier, but it is also:
Sustainable
Saves time & money
Timeless
Longer-lasting fashion
Start with a small selection of clothing pieces that make up many different outfits when combined. Part of the concept is having an overall neutral color palette with a few pops of color, maybe a stylish jackets or sparkly funsies thrown in there.
Hugely helps with decision fatigue!
There is no strict rule for the number of items in a capsule wardrobe, It all depends on your lifestyle & your preference. Usually, a capsule wardrobe doesn’t exceed more than 50 items.
If most of your clothes fall under a certain color scheme, you can really mix & match whatever you need to.
Here’s a little checklist if you’re unsure of how to get started. The following items are basic items that get you covered for most occasions, including work. If you’re not sure what color to pick, I recommend going with neutrals, such as navy, grey, black, beige, or white.
Sweatpants, shorts, t shirts, sweatshirt (think gym wear that double as pajamas)
Here are some suggestions to think about when putting together your capsule wardrobe: a timeless blazer, a button-down shirt that fits you well, a sleek pencil skirt, a sweater that can be layered, a fabulous pair of jeans, and a versatile dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the accessories.
These pieces can be combined in various ways to create outfits, and you can also incorporate seasonal trends to keep your wardrobe interesting and up-to-date.
To expand your women’s capsule wardrobe, you can consider including a few essential items like a striped shirt, basic T-shirts, a sweater, a blouse, a cardigan, a denim jacket, and black leggings.
This same principle can also be applied to accessories and footwear by ensuring you have at least one representative item from each category.
This just makes it easier to take things out. When I was going through my wardrobe the first time, I realized that there are certain colors I don’t wear. I don’t wear anything that I have to iron either haha! So now I don’t buy things that I have to iron, but little things like that are helpful to acknowledge.
Another big thing for me too when it comes to wardrobe is I realize that sometimes I do know right away after I bring something home that I don’t like it, but I’m used to be so terrible about returning things! So now I only shop at places that have a very generous return policy because for me, sometimes I still have the tag on it three months later. Amazon is also awesome. Easy returns.
Now I fearlessly just buy the clothes, but keep all the receipts & keep the tags on until I wear it. I have a receipt drawer/folder, and if needed, I can return anything that needs to be returned. I also always get digital receipts if that’s a possibility.
Another thing that can be helpful as far as avoiding accumulating things is not purchasing things the moment they go to your mind. Because now with Amazon online shopping, you can literally think of an item and then purchase it in that second with one click purchasing.
Instead, you can write it on a list and wait a few weeks to see if you still want it. I really only give myself 24-48 hours. And it turns out that’s all the amount of time I need to control my impulse shopping. Because a lot of times I really, really, really think I need something. And then after sleeping on it, I just realized that that was an impulse purchase.
Another tip, never enter Target. Hahahah!!! But for real, I try to avoid Target & TJ Maxx as much as possible.
I hope this inspired you a little bit today! And feel free to reach out on social media or via email (katieokelly2@gmail.com) & let me know how you feel about it all because I always love to hear from y’all as well!
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life with me, too!
I posted this picture of myself sitting in my living room one morning 7 years ago. I used to hate looking at Facebook memories. Now I admire in awe at the beautiful transformation of my life & spirit this go round.
I actually enjoy checking memories. They remind me I’m alive. They remind me I lived. They remind me I still have a lot more AMAZING life to savor. To learn. To adventure. To experience.
Some of these memories bring pain. Like salt on a wound. Some are sweet like the most decadent treat. Some sting & burn so good…So. Good. Like a fine bourbon or strong coffee.
Some simple thoughts of awareness. Some things I enjoy, things I’ve learned & simple raindrops of life sprinkled on the pages of my storybook thus far…
I like cutting my meat with scissors ✂️ Easier. More efficient.
I love supporting small business & giving back to others as much as I can. It brings me more fulfillment than any fancy stuff I could buy for myself. I love & welcome in all the money into my life so that I can invest it into others & things that truly matter.
I’m way prettier in my more natural state without make up & fake stuff on my face. With age comes wisdom, thank goodness. And thank goodness I didn’t have social media back in college😂
I really love embracing this life of more minimalism. It has given me much freedom & energy to focus on things that truly mean the most to me versus worrying about what I’m going to wear or dreading packing up all this “stuff” when I leave to another travel Xray assignment.
I really, really love my careers & my life at 42. It’s far from perfect & makes absolutely no sense sometimes 😆 but I am infinitely happy in the now & for the woman I’ve become. For the loving family & friends I have, have made, & will make.
And if I was to pass on today or tomorrow, this would be enough❤️ And I’m forever grateful.
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life with me, too!
January will be here before we know it. Grateful to spend fall & winter with you, Virginia❤️
I started my travel Xray contract extension here October 21st. I’ve been in Lynchburg since the beginning of July. I’ve loved it here.
I work with great people at the hospital. Yes, the grind is grueling, but I’ve come to appreciate the 3 days off after 7 days on. Sadistically I love the pain. F*cked up, I know. But it’s what it is & how I’m wired.
I appreciate the small airport here that flys into Charolette. I don’t feel trapped, I feel more free than ever. If I wanna do something, I just book a flight & go!
Solo travel has been soul-deep nurturing for me. A journey of self discovery. A journey of being good at being ME.
There is a really wonderful circular relationship among confidence, inner peace, traveling, & simply feeling like a BADDIE that can take on anything.
Traveling in itself is an act of confidence. The fact that you went somewhere by yourself demonstrates strength. As your self-esteem grows, you start engaging in more independent, self-serving behaviors.
You let sabotaging ones fall away. Honestly I feel like I just don’t give a sh*t about a lot of silly things anymore. 😄🤷♀️ It’s great.
Truthfully, I can’t pinpoint where the travel antidote came from. Images of happy women doin life on their terms stamped an impression into my brain of the person I wanted to be, but my 20 something old self felt I couldn’t — a woman who can pick up & go & feel confident in all of her decisions.
But I freakin did it, & I’ve done it well. I did it scared sh*tless. Haha! And I’ll continue to choose my adventure.
I’ve made my way to touristy spots, rural gems, hills & hollers, chatted with locals, made out with cute guys at bars on occasions, even let some of them steal a piece of my heart along the way.
The ability to be okay with being by yourself, to not need constant stimulation & company, is extremely empowering. It opens up choices for you that are not contingent on what others want & it enables you to be out in the world with others & then be with yourself to reflect, to regroup & to feel replenished.
Lost & found come from the same box & not all who wander are lost😉
To be continued…
Oxox Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
I stumbled upon an Albert Einstein quote one morning that said: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
Ooof. Mind blowing 🤯
I thought about how that statement applied to many pages in my storybook life — to college at Purdue University, to Radiology School, to relationships, my finances, to most importantly, MYSELF. MY self awareness (or lack of). The understanding of ME.
“You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you” — Wayne Dyer
It took me years to learn to respect myself, including giving myself Grace. When people treated me poorly, I was convinced I was to blame or that I somehow deserved it.
Kids made fun of weight, the way I looked, my “poor farmer’s kid clothes.” Boyfriends cheated on me, lied to me, abused me.
When I finally developed enough robustness & self-esteem to honor my boundaries, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.
“Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself” – Mark Manson
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it — it just blooms” — Sensei Ogui
The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is with the person you were yesterday.
“The only zen you’ll find on mountaintops is the zen you bring up there with you” — Alan Watts
In other words, you’ll never find peace unless it’s within. The same goes for love. The same goes for fulfillment, health, self expression.
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without” — Buddha
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for” – Epicurus
In a world that’s constantly seeking more — more results, more performance, more money, more social proof — this immediately brings me into a state of appreciation and gratitude.
When I’m longing for something more than what I have right now I’m living in some imaginary future and I’m missing everything in the here and now. I feel this way about dating apps (& boredom scrolling on social in general) currently. I deleted dating apps & significantly reduced me social time, using it only with intention in time blocks. I feel apps & boredom scrolling steals my presence & blinds me to the wonderful people & opportunities in front of me.
“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being” — Eckhart Tolle
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
When we can observe reality without judging or labelling people & things as good or bad, we can think and respond more appropriately. This is a form of wisdom & mastery.
Everything is simply an experience. We attach a label to the meaning of the experience. Only when I learned how to live untethered & to flow like water, did I learn how to truly live a peaceful life.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” — Viktor E. Frankl
“If you can’t get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you can’t create a new future where those things don’t exist” — Dr. Joe Dispenza
He then went on to add:
“If you were looking at a timeline of your day, starting with waking up in the morning and continuing until you go to bed that night, you could pick up that timeline of yesterday or today (your past) and place it in the space reserved for tomorrow (the future) because essentially the same actions you took today are the ones you are going to take tomorrow — and the day after that, and the day after that.
Let’s face it: If you keep the same routine as yesterday, it makes sense that your tomorrow is going to be a lot like your yesterday. Your future is just a rerun of your past. That’s because your yesterday is creating your tomorrow.”
“You are an infinite spiritual being having a temporary human experience” — Wayne Dyer
I know now when my human body fades and dies, my spirit will live on. Not because it’s “mine” but because “My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.” — Jim Carrey
And that’s eternal.
“Love is what we are; Fear is what we learn”
It doesn’t matter how far we stray down the wrong path then because there will always be an intelligence that brings us back into our hearts. So, rest easy. Because “We’re all just walking each other home.” — Ram Dass
Love you all❤️
oxox
Coach K
Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!
I’ve always felt there was something magical about sunrises. I stood there sipping on my cup of coffee watching the orange & pinks move up thru the clouds.
With every breath I take the sky transforms just a little bit more colorful. It’s as if I was watching a movie. But it’s the movie called “real life”.
I’m rounding out the last week of my current 13 week travel assignment in Lynchburg, Virginia. I’ve been blessed to have been offered an extension here till mid January, which I accepted. The Blue Ridge Mountains have been cleansing, enlightening, & provided nourishing beauty & solitude.
I’ve traveled more than ever the past year, personally & professionally. I’ve learned I never get the opportunity to experience present moments again. Ever. This moment, if not lived, is gone. Forever. And that is now how I approach life at 42 years old.
And so I sit. Watching & marveling. I feel at ease. Filled with joy. Happiness. Gratitude. Yes, sweet peace & gratitude. And I think back on all the sunrises & sunsets where I am sure I was smiling even though nobody was watching me.
I try my best to sip & savor every luscious drop of life I can. I call myself an “experience collector,” unapologetically here to receive all the moments of loving. 💕😉
(Side note for my newbies, WELCOME BTW🫶, I’m a travel radiographer💀. Its easier just to say #travelnurse because most people relate & understand what that means 😆🚑🏥)
Every sunrise begins with new eyes. The night can never defeat the sunrise. I’ve always been a “morning person.” 🌅 🦅 🐦🔥
A Sunrise – you can watch it, you can breathe it, you hear it, you can touch it, you can taste it, you can FEEL it. Every sunrise holds more promise, & every sunset holds more peace…
Have you ever woken up early to watch the sun greet you & bring a new morning?
Creatives of all shades (writers, painters, musicians, artists, in general) have always brought sunrises into their work, dazzled by their magnetism & power. Like a Muse.
Can you still remember the last time you were hypnotized by the smell of that first day of Spring or fall early in the morning?
Sunrises bring fresh new starts. Whether it’s rainy or sunny, dawn – or the first light of day – is a synonym for genesis.
Have you ever fallen asleep in the warm blanketing rays? Felt the magic & colors at the first rays?
Unforgettable right?! They’re experiences that add dimension to your recharge & rest — your essence & your BEing
This time of watching the sun rise above the horizon is something I will remember & fill another page of my storybook of life.
“The secret to a good morning is to watch the sunrise with an open heart.”—Anthony T. Hincks
Let the sunshine ignite & deliciously paint your soul today with whatever colors you need. ☀️🎨🖍️
Enjoy a bit of my morning & thoughts that hopefully will shed some light on a new perspective this week☀️🫶
♡𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨… Now that I’m over 40 — I would love to have coffee with my 21 year old self.
It’s the perfect paradox. I wish I could share the wisdom I have now with my younger self, yet that wisdom came from all the f*ck ups I made😂 🤷🏼♀️ So, without the mistakes, I’m not sure I’d have anything important to say to that younger version of myself.
Purdue University. #boilerup I remember nights out in college with my Delta Gamma sorority sisters & Block & Bridle Club aggies. (I graduated with a Bachelors in Animal Science from the school of Ag btw. Fun fact 😉 🎓).
Thirsty Thursday’s with Bruce the Piano Man at the Neon Cactus. Those huge cups, cheap drinks, & priceless memories were epic. (Minus the waking up hungover af the next day after smashing Mad Mushroom 🍄 🍕 pizza & cheese sticks 🙈🫣🫥🤭)
I’d implore her to laugh like that more & worry less. As women, maybe wives, moms, friends, daughters, etc we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to orchestrate & capture magical moments for our loved ones, for others.
I wish I could tell that 21 year old version of myself that the magic will happen without the pressure of a perfect social media shot & Pinterest board. Sure, snap a few pictures, but don’t let the pressure of trying to get the perfect shot interfere with absorbing the moments.
Case in point: I remember going to Disney as a child. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t remember talking about how much fun we had at Disney. I do, however, LOL when I talk about the road trips to get there. For some reason, a favorite is my dad wearing a fanny pack & the excitement of taking the back seats out of the van so we could “camp” on the way there. And the singing to oldies🎶
We often stayed at an economical hotel. I remember things like bike rides, seeing Jurassic Park on vaca & sea shells on the beach, coming back from the park & enjoying the swimming pool and the tiny arcade off the lobby.
Because life happens in the in-between moments.
I remember the hotel with much more clarity than I remember the magic of Disney or a specific location.
Take care of yourself. I wish I could convince that younger version of myself that the world wouldn’t collapse if I gave myself a day off of work or the gym or whatever stupid diet I was doing.
I wish I could convince that younger version of me to build a true, aligned tribe she could count on sooner. I figured it out, but not until my late 30’s. I found that small inner, high value circle would have my back no matter what, & who got to see all my flaws & love me anyway.
I’m grateful I learned the lesson about needing a tribe, but mostly the importance of building a home in myself first. Now, everywhere I go, I make home AND I know with confidence I can be happy anywhere because that power comes from within me.
Dream big, but don’t be afraid to change your target if your season changes.
I had big dreams for family, career, finances, & travel. At some point, it became clear that I had fallen for the lie that I could have it all or even knew what I wanted or what tf I was doing.
Reassessing our goals & adjusting our dreams is part of life. As you learn about yourself & life, you learn more about where you want to invest your energy. Give yourself permission to change your definition of success, & never forget that your definition is the one that matters, not the one painted by social media, society, or your peer group.
Release control, laugh more, worry less.
This is the advice 21 year old *me* needed most of all. Even today, I’m not sure I would be the most equipped to give that advice, as I still struggle with releasing control.
I work harder at acknowledging useless worry than I did back then, bringing a measure of hard-earned peace. If I could buy that 21 year old version of myself a cup of coffee & tell her all the wisdom we gained over the next few decades, would I be doing her any favors?
After all, we’ve made it this far, & I kind of like who the two of us became.❤️🫶
“Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it is the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up.”
I sat the other morning with coffee ☕️, talking with my plants about personal awakenings surrounding partnership & relationship 🪷🪴☺️ (I’m weird. It’s ok 😆 At least I’m high vibe🥰 haha! High five 🙌 to all my fellow woke weirdos)
Maybe y’all can relate to some of my thoughts & feelings 🤷♀️ Hope they resonate in a way that you need to find clarity, clear the cobwebs, or serve as a provoking thought conversation starter.
For those of you who are new here, I’ve struggled with relationships basically my entire life. It’s been about remembering myself. Not losing myself in another. Building a home in myself so that I can be that safe space and partner for another, too.
I’ve been divorced twice. Casually dated all different kinds of men. I’m really proud of myself for creating a kick ass self partnered life that I am so grateful for. But I do truly believe we are not meant to go through this life alone. I just haven’t quite been sure what kind of a partnership is right for me. I acknowledge not every relationship is meant to last forever, honoring whatever time a contract serves.
I understand now that I simply need a partner that sees & accepts me as I am, my whole self. “Flaws” quirks & all. Not just for my looks. One that does not judge/criticize but allows me to be my weird little self.
Someone who can fall in love with their safe space. One like simply sitting in solitude appreciating the sweet sounds & murals of nature outside.
I understand that I do have to be emotionally, mentally, AND physically attracted initially to a person, because that does not develop later. (For me) I’ve tried to force this in the past. Doesn’t work.
I no longer allow myself to let relationships romantically continue if I do not feel romantically attracted to that person.
I’ve realized I have had a lot of wonderful friendships with men, i’m naturally a “guys girl” being raised with brothers & on a farm. What I thought potentially was a romantic relationship on many occasions was a platonic attraction to someone.
So yes, I feel I have broken a lot of hearts, but I’m proud of myself for being honest. Honest in telling those people that I love them (because I do), but our relationship was more in the “friend zone” kind of way.
I align to someone that loves me not just for my looks or what I can do for them. I desire a partner that simply makes me feel safe & protected, special & appreciated. Money comes and goes. But I know you can always build a better life together with someone that makes you feel the way you want feel & aligned with your energy.
Memories & experiences are everything & meant to be shared. We weren’t meant to go through this life alone forever.
I used to think I needed a super successful, rich business man type. And I have dated many wealthy men because I needed those experiences. But what I discovered was that I actually wanted that success for myself so I had to go out and create that for myself. Which I did 👏🏼 I didn’t need that through another.
I had to show myself that I could travel and be free and be successful and create my own business & opportunities scaled to my needs, on my own. I didn’t need someone else to do that for me.
I realized I needed the aligned partner that made me feel emotionally & physically the way I wanted to feel, and that gift, that package, was probably going to be different than what I expected.
So I opened my mind and my heart to that concept and simply followed what I loved & was drawn to. I followed what I felt was right, and listened to the signs and the things, places, & people that I was drawn to whether I understood it or not.
I admit, there were/are many times I’m like l. “Katie you are f*cking crazy. I do not understand why you resonate & are so drawn to certain things.”
BUT… I know that I walk by FAITH, not by sight.
I enjoy & admire partners that let me take care of them. Not in the mommy role kind of way. But in the energy of allowing my to embrace my feminine strengths. To be soft & let a man take care of me, too.
I know my “role and my place.” I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I don’t say that in a disrespectful way, but one of self-awareness and appreciation.
i’m very very good at taking care of a household and I make shit happen because I am driven and I am strong. I am the glue. I am a natural caretaker. I am able and extremely resourceful and resilient because this life has made me that way and I’m grateful.
I cannot thank my parents enough for helping me build a solid foundation in myself. Same for people who were cruel and harsh to me. I appreciate every time they were hard on me &/or had high expectations because it made me the woman that I am today.
Although I do not wish to fall into the role of mother & teacher, as I know, I deserve an equal partner, I do acknowledge that I excel in both of these places, but I do so respectively.
I do not desire to be more masculine than my other half, I understand some women are guarded, and maybe a little defensive sometimes when it comes to allowing a man to be a man and take care of them. “Men” are natural providers and I feel that that is their right.
Loyalty, honor, duty, understanding, & respect are vital, really when it comes to supporting men especially in a certain environment.
I had to understand throughout my journey that I had to love myself as I was, first. That I didn’t always need to change to suit someone else or have materialistic items, titles, things outside of myself. But, on the other hand, that it was OK to love the things that I loved that made me feel amazing from a place of self-love and not by ego.
We all deserve abundance & everything that we desire. We weren’t meant to go through this life miserable, living in scarcity & fear.
Abundance is everywhere & love is everywhere if we let it in. And all of this comes via our unique journey and self-awareness, unlocking the doors to everything we have ever desired.
Thank you for reading my thoughts from the pages of my heart, my storybook, that I pour into the notes pages of my iPhone 📲 💕
Oxox Coach K
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Journaled my feelings & thoughts this morning around energy, intentions, & alignment.
Big Dolly Parton energy ✨
I realize I’m constantly shedding skin into new versions of myself. Like peeling layers off an onion. I reflected back even 2 years ago & wow such a transformation inside & out!
I share this in hopes of being relatable to y’all wherever you are right now too. We’re all humans living this experience.
I reminded myself this morning I deserve people & companies & connections who are SURE. SURE in themselves and SURE about me. Because I SURE as heck is sure about me 🙂
This year, one of my big intentions is calling in aligned partnership & connections. I’m open to receive whatever is meant for me & my highest alignment without judgement or questioning.
Yeah, it’s painful & uncomfortable af for someone who loves control 👋 😂
Another change is the way I view time. I had to let go of my old “routines” & simply organize & schedule my daily activities & energy management to cycles that serve me best.
So I decided to stop looking at time like the norm & view it in cycles authentic to me. Maybe you can relate to this too?! ⏰
February is the month of love. I hope you manifest & receive whatever love (for yourself, others, & your life) is meant for you🙏💕
I was asked before if I had a “best friend.”
So I thought, well, I guess I don’t really use labels like that at 41 🤔
As I’ve aged it doesn’t “fit” in my life anymore.
I view people in terms of frequency & the qualities they bring out in me – you see, they’re all different.
I don’t judge people based upon race, sex, sexual preference, religion, politics, size, shape, whatever da fugg you wanna put here.
I ask myself:
Do you make me want to be a better person?
Do you bring me joy?
Are you kind & energy giving?
High vibe?
Do you embody a human & life I align with?
Yes?
Cool. We can hang out.
I have friends that hold keys to all different doors of my personality. I have close friends I’ve never even met in real life thanks to social media. I am incredibly grateful to have all of you in my life!
Some keys open my mind. Some my heart. Some my entrepreneur. Some my introvert or extrovert. Some my feminine side. Some my masculine. Some laughter. Some adventure.
Some Saint.
Some Sinner.
Some my rawest, deepest, ugliest, & most beautiful parts too.
Some I haven’t seen in decades or years, past lovers, acquaintances, friends, family, yet they’ve been a part of the most pivotal moments in my life.
They all take a piece of my heart that I plant in my garden of life. Some only grow & bloom for a season, or moment, or a lifetime.
It’s OK if a past friend, family member, spouse, or partner don’t hold all the keys to your billion dollar home or nourish every part of your field of life.
Some of the most beautiful weeds are the most beautiful flowers, some of the most magnificent creatures are the most unruly.
Throw away the labels, definitions, boxes, chains, & cages – let love grow wild. 🥀🌱🌹
Be fearless. Let your guard down. Always put your oxygen mask on first. Stand by your boundaries.
Love fiercely (especially yourself) because this all ends.
I had a teacher tell me in middle school I was “too big to be a cheerleader.”
I was CRUSHED.
➤ That meant I was different.
➤ I was less than.
➤ I didn’t. Fit. In.
(I’m 60lbs lighter than I used to be for people new here. I spent the majority of my life sick, over weight, & broke af. You can find my weight loss/healing story in the link in my IG bio)link here
In the absence of love & belonging there is suffering. -Brené Brown
I still feel alone (not lonely – big difference).
I truly am a dominant introvert. Being around a lot of people is really hard & energetically draining.
I won’t, however, sacrifice my loves like live music, travel, & exploring because of it tho. I’ve taught myself to be a selective extrovert.
If I wanna go do something – I do it.
Here’s been the game changer for me: I belong to ME.
I spend a lot of time belonging to myself &, frankly, that makes a portion of other people feel uncomfortable🤷♀️
Even when I feel alone or “don’t fit in” I know I belong to ME. For the first time in my life at 41, I feel fully embodied in the unique, sparkly, sweet & spicy essence of MY “being.”
You see the opposite of belonging 👉is fitting in. Belonging doesn’t ask for us to change ourselves it asks us to BE ourselves.
The more you love yourself & give yourself what you need, the less you’ll demand & need from others.
♡ I challenge you to ask yourself the question, “Who am I?”
How would you answer that?
To give you examples, today, as the 41 year old model, I’d describe myself as follows…
∞ Storyteller & Experience collector
∞ Life & people lover
∞ Creator & entrepreneur
∞ Messenger & mentor
∞ Psychic Intuitive & Healer
∞ Forever student & athlete of life
∞ Your safe space & biggest adventure
I don’t like to be “defined” by labels, nor do my values reside there. I value freedom/time/health/& energy more than anything.
I used to live for labels like being defined by things like being a CrossFit athlete, a former Marine wife, an X-ray tech, yada yada, etc
I am an athlete of LIFE!
And guess what? So are for you!
Enjoy flexibility & the ability to shed & create whatever shade/character you want every day.
As a travel RT & clinician, I’ve learned to make HOME in MYSELF. That’s how I’ve found happiness, joy, & peace embracing this lifestyle.
♛I belong everywhere I go as long as I don’t betray myself.
If I’m worried about:
if other people like or accept me
or the need create for likes or follows instead of what my heart wants
& I feel the need to change for those reasons…
THAT is the moment I’ve betrayed myself.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” -Brené Brown
My name is Katie Kelly. I’m a multi-modal travel clinician 🩺💀, nutritionist, high performance coach & biz consultant specializing in human connection & process optimization with over 20 years experience. On social I’m better known as Coach K & I’m just like you!
More importantly, I want you to believe in yourself, your health, your business, your voice, & your ability to live your best life! I believe in vibrational living in life, fitness, health, relationships, & business. Intuition is one of our greatest gifts! I’m here to help you discover & follow yours to a more abundant, joyful life!
I’m known as the sweary, Indiana farmer’s daughter who went from a sick (Crohn’s Disease & bulimia), overweight (lost 60lbs via the carnivore diet, CrossFit & Orange Theory), broke bish (was 50k+ in debt) to a thriving, self loving human here to inspire, educate, & mentor!
Welcome to my digital diary & wellness blogs full of life lessons learned the hard way🫶
I post content about life/biz/self improvement anywhere from fat loss, therapy, disordered eating, Crohn’s, self love, entrepreneurship, healthcare, food, fitness, finance, & everything in between to a social media audience of 47K+!
Thank you for allowing me to add value to your lives! Grateful to have you part of my digital family ❤️
You can simply book a call via email: katieokelly2@gmail.com
