50 shades of addictions…like this coffee
here. Confessions of another dirty bathroom photo.
I made some big decisions lately.
I’m going down part time in radiology. This is my last full-time week & I booked a legacy photo shoot for my 40th in August.
I read a past journalist entry this morning dated October of 2020.
It read, “My coworkers & I were going thru our schedules & I had a gut check moment. I’ve had 3, THREE whole days off in 2 months.”
My reaction, “WTF, Katie! You have a problem.”
I’ve confided in y’all about how I have an addictive personality.
I was never addicted to 1 thing. I discovered thru therapy I was addicted to filling voids.
It’s a hard shot to swallow. Most truth bombs are.
I reflected on my journey this mornin & gave gratitude for how far I’ve come. And I hope y’all can do the same. Be proud of yourselves!
My addictions were similar shades.
I’ve been all 50 shades & shapes & sizes of fugged up, mentally & physically. They affected all my relationships.
Like the memes…
𝗠𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲: what do we say when we feel like this?
𝗠𝗲: you coulda had a bad bitch?
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁: NO.
Quoting @lizzobeeating seems like a positive life decision for me at this point
You?
My biggest fear used to be gaining weight.
Now, I’ve quickly discovered my biggest fear is missing out on life & working my life away.
I enjoy coaching y’all, writing, speaking, networking with my community, nurturing relationships, & helping others more at this season in my life than trading my time for money.
I want to spend as much time with my mom & dad, my friends & family as I can, making as many memories as I can.
Loving the sh*t out of this life, squeezing every drop.
That’s my true wealth.
I hope I gave y’all a laugh, & let you know that it’s OK. We are always 1 decision away from a completely different life.
Choose your happy.
Xoxo
Coach K
BONUS: words of wisdom from Dr. Nicole LePera about addiction.
“Addiction is an attempt to regulate a nervous system chronically stuck in fight or flight.
Addiction is an attempt to escape from feeling a pain and emptiness that runs to the core of a persons being.
Addiction is a form of self abuse. When we are abused or emotionally neglected as children, we can become our own abuser. It’s all we know. Our brains seek to repeat the familiar.
Addiction is the result of not having childhood co-regulation. An inability to self sooth. A lack of healthy ways to cope.
Addiction is the result of witnessing things that were scary, overwhelming, or downright terrifying without having a safe adult to help you understand them.
Addiction is the childhood LACK OF EMOTIONAL CONNECTION, manifested.
Addiction is an attempt to silence the “dark” thoughts that re-play (like a broken record) the voice of the critical parent.
Addiction is the result of a society’s greatest lie: that says some people aren’t lovable, worthy, or valuable.
Addiction is SHAME. And it’s usually a shame that was never that persons to carry.
Addiction causes a person to engage in survival based behaviors they wouldn’t otherwise engage in like: deception, abuse, theft, or betrayal.
Addiction is a slow spiritual death that no human being consciously chooses.”
Wishing you all so much healing. Love & hugs
