Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
My weight gain & disordered eating was impacting my health. It was a problem I had yet to confront & resolve. I was a mid-size “woman” at the moment. I could wear a size L at the age of 14. My jeans size was a women’s 16. I weighed 160lbs at barely 5 foot tall.
Despite knowing I needed to lose weight & it was the reason all the kids were mean to me & none of the boys liked me I still hid my binges & ate like garbage. I had a sweet tooth & could throw down gallons of ice cream, & boxes of cereal & cheese nips in one sitting. Then I’d throw it all up & struggle with gut flares for weeks. Why TF did I do this I thought? I remember the doctor telling me I needed to lose weight & people would say the annoying, “You’d be the prettiest girl in school if you’d just lose weight.” **Insert eye roll.** But I knew there was some truth in what they were saying. My first thought? I bet I can drop 20 lbs in 2 weeks if I don’t eat & exercise more. I just need to “want it bad enough.” And I did. I stayed stuck in those self sabotaging cycles for decades. Sound familiar? I don’t have middle gears. It’s nothing, or full throttle! And that’s how I was with food, alcohol, exercise, mindset, & negative self talk. Those of you who have read my other blogs might know that I once got so thin that my hair started to fall out. I had fainting spells, low blood pressure, & cervical cancer in my 20s, & I ended up in the ER with a BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) of .346 & on a vent after a night of drinking one time. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this to love myself & keep fat loss off forever…SWIPE!
I hope these help you too & are the very things I also teach my clients. [Coaching FAQs in IG bio] oxox Coach
Years ago I came face to face with 2 of my problems. As I sat there staring at myself in the mirror I felt weak, vulnerable & didn’t know what to say. I could see the concern in my eyes, but couldn’t find the words to explain why I was doing what I was doing. I asked myself why I drank by myself so often & I didn’t have a clear answer. On the surface, it’s because I enjoyed it. Why wouldn’t I? There’s satisfaction about taking the edge off with the luscious drop of a sweet burn. Then something happens. I feel more relaxed & I’m able to forget what’s running rambunctiously in my mind. Sometimes it was 1, 2 or even 3 drinks. Then there are the snacks & closet eating. I would buy a giant bag of Reese’s pb cups or packages of cookies & brownies & eat them all in one sitting. I’d feel sick, inflamed, & disgusted with myself for days after. Falling deeper & deeper in the binge/restrict/guilt cycle. I thought to myself, “Katie, this is f*cked up.” A drink alone is so different from a drink with friends. Eating in hiding is different than enjoying food with friends. The social aspect is key to the motivation & appeal of enjoying social spirits & food with friends. I have friends that I like to drink wine with, friends that I like to eat with. Who’s my friend when I decide to drink & binge eat alone? Coming to terms with unhealthy coping mechanisms isn’t easy by any means but absolutely necessary for growth. It’s dirty & painful & forces you to shed layers of yourself you didn’t even know existed. Now that I’ve faced those fears & learned to love myself through challenges vs numb with binging food & alcohol, I can finally say at 40 I am free & the healthiest I’ve ever been. I created my own heaven on Earth with an abundance mindset. I found the carnivore WOE, walking as my therapy, & crossfit as my sanctuary.
I go beyond barriers to possibilities.
— Louise Hay
Here are mantras I use with clients & used myself to help you shift your thoughts, calm, soothe & re-focus your brain (& LIFE) where you want it to be. Please share this post if it resonated with you & to help someone else out there that may also be struggling ❤️🩹 oxox Coach K
I’ve talked about my CrossFit boobs plenty times before. I also grew up ashamed of my cellulite & stretch marks. I love & live in bralettes. They’re functional & more comfortable. I giggled as I tried on “real bras” for a boudoir shoot.
My biggest fears used to be getting fat & failure. I was ashamed to show my body in any way shape or form. I always wore a T-shirt over my bathing suit. I hated my legs.
Ya know what I learned? I earned my cellulite & stretch marks. My boobs may not be the size I’d like but my arms & shoulders are pretty spectacular. Hey, at least I got a handful
It used to really bother me being smaller. I felt being petite I looked like a child.
I’m grateful at 40 to have finally learned to love & celebrate the skin I’m in & show it proudly. I can’t wait till my next #boudoir shoot in August!
SWIPE for some hard truths about cellulite, stretch marks, social media & body image you may need to hear.
I’d love for you guys to share these with somebody else who needs to read them too!
I used to plan big binges on purpose. They were a high. I believed that if I could “get it out of my system” & cultivate enough shame, I would “get my sh*t together.”
It didn’t work. No change ever came from me shaming myself when I kept reliving the same story.
I realized I was hungry all the time – from under eating, eating too many carbs, sugar, & gut trigger foods. The Carnivore way of eating saved my life in more ways than one. Not only did it heal my disordered eating & put my Crohn’s in remission, it helped me find more purpose in my life. You see I was hungry in a much different way than just food.
I realized my worth & my mess was my message. That if I kept my mind busy, fed my soul, & stoked my hunger in more ways than one, I had more enjoyment & satisfaction, not just in my belly, but in my whole life. Somewhere as a kid between farm chores, playing with my little ponies & my 1st diet, I lost the simple enjoyment of my body, my food, & just being me.
Don’t underestimate the value of having purpose & simply staying busy. Tasks & movement engage our bodies & brains to redirect in more positive ways. They offer a sense of structure & boundaries that give comfort to most abstainers when it comes to food/sugar addiction. Along with eating enough food to fuel my body, this was one of the most useful tools in recovery.
Most days, especially when my emotions feel ginormous & suffocating, I create a “to do” list of things to execute during my day.
(I freaking love lists, how bout you?)
It gives me a sense of control, direction, & inner peace.
For a busy bee like me, there is grounding in the “doing,” especially for those of us who have to keep our minds busy.
During times when my disordered eating & binge eating were at their worst, I found correlation in the times when I was bored, restricting more food, eating more carbs, &/or lacked a sense of purpose.
Ways I redirected away from binging: Coffee with a friend, drink more water Go for a walk, get out in nature, sun Go to CrossFit or a group fitness class Clean & purge my home Design something for social media Write a blog, read, listen to a podcast Go for drive & listen to music Color
Until I reached my weight “safe place” or “set point,” my body was still hungry & not losing body fat even on Carnivore. I wasn’t underweight, but my body did not feel safe. It was hard to sense fullness & true hunger. I gained 15lbs when I started Carnivore 3 years ago. It took me a year to heal, adapt, & lose fat. I’m now 20lbs lighter, maintaining my weight eating 2,000+ calories/day.
When I allowed my body to heal & gain the weight it needed to restore my health, a switch went off & I felt capable of eating foods I knew I needed, in amounts I needed without feeling fear. For those of us with a disordered eating history & one of chronic restriction/exercise abuse, safety is everything. Your body decides when you’re ready & recovered.
Your set point & maintenance ranges are not static, like your body & LIFE, they’ll shift & change over time. Genetics, medical history, dieting history, training modalities, food needs/preferences, digestion, body goals, etc will all differ.
Live your life & listen to your gut.
So maybe the question you should be asking is “How do I start satisfying my hunger living a life of purpose authentic to me?” vs “How do I stop binge eating?”