8 life lessons that will accelerate your success instantly

morning life lessons walk success katie kelly lilbitoffit indiana

You CAN make the life you want. Oftentimes this begins with hitting the reset button. What better time than NOW?!

The change you want in your life begins with you. If you can change your inside, the outside will fall into place.

Remember, your most significant obstacle to success is you. It’s not time, money, or your situation.

Life is a learning experience, and you’ll learn some essential life lessons along the way.

Some of these lessons come from your own experience, some from watching others, and some from reading books and articles like this one.

A pep talk you may need to hear!

Here are life lessons that can change your life and help you live it the way you want. These allowed me to manifest a better life!

1) Embody the person you wanna be. Be a person of VALUE!
To progress & succeed, this may mean shedding the old version & reinventing you. Most don’t: sleep/eat well, don’t have a success routine, don’t have self awareness, learn new things daily, choose positive thoughts & energy.
You need to: build mental fortitude, execute desires, keep commitments, realize motivation is fleeting, create a routine & + environment.
If you wanna be a high value, successful, & well respected big boy/girl, f*ckin act like one.

“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” — Albert Einstein

Prove your worth every day and show your colleagues, friends, and family that you are worth the time they have invested in you. To succeed in life, you must tell stories about yourself in an authentic, humble, and business-focused way.
Do more than is asked of you, be a thought leader. Under promise, over deliver 😉

2) Health is your biggest wealth. Develop good habits!
Steps to a healthier, leaner, happier life:

  • Prioritize protein & nourishing, unprocessed food. Eat food you can digest & absorb properly with no negative physical or emotional issues
  • Ditch low quality veggie oils, sugar, & people – anything cheap, fake & easy
  • Get sunlight & nature therapy
  • Walk 10k steps/d, lift at least 3x/week
  • Hydrate & drink water, don’t snack
  • Quality SLEEP 7-9 hrs/night
  • Cultivate a + mindset & environment

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” — Jim Rohn

The key to success in life is building tiny habits that can significantly impact your life. Little things, such as good habits, add up over time. Good habits can help you live a more fulfilled and happy life, while bad habits can cause you to spiral downward.

Success lies in what you do every day. Most of us are not aware of our bad and good habits because we live on autopilot

If you want to succeed in life, your good habits must outweigh your bad habits. If you think you have some toxic habits in your life, you still have time to unlearn them and change your negative tendencies.

3) Obsess over purpose/something larger than yourself. Make today count!
Being interested or wishing are not enough, you need to be obsessed with becoming a better, more EXTRAordinary version of yourself. Embrace being an evolving human. Perfection is not needed.
Once you make your mission & legacy your purpose for living, you will find & attract opportunities & people to help you achieve your goals.
Live & vibrate intentionally, the Universe will show you the How.

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” — Robert Breault

Make every moment and day count. Be mindful of where you are in the here and now, savor each moment. Life goes by faster than you think. Live each day to the fullest, happiness is a state of mind.

4) If it isn’t a hell YES, it’s a hell NO
This makes decision making much simpler. It requires sacrifice & a shift in perspective.
I had to shed toxic habits, addictions, friends, & old versions of myself. I had to give up excuses, playing it safe, fear of mistakes, shrinking myself, & FOMO in order to UPLEVEL body, mind, & spirit.
Sacrifice is a choice & it doesn’t seem like a negative thing when you want something bad enough. Embrace JOMO: JOY of missing out.

5) Realize the power of influence. Develop meaningful, deeper relationships!
What you consume, consumes you & what consumes you, controls your life. Our consumption is not only what we eat/drink but also what we watch, listen to, social media, & environment (people & places).
If you want to change, become a healthier, wealthier, happier version of yourself, you have to change your behaviors & consumptions. Listen to a podcast, motivational speakers, surround yourself with successful, high value people.

Our lives are built around our relationships. Our interpersonal skills are the keys to your success. You must improve and deepen your relationships through interpersonal intelligence and your ability to understand and interact effectively with others.

When you can gracefully navigate social settings with good verbal and non-verbal communication, you build strong connections with all types of people and show them you value them.

Deep conversations with the right people are worth their weight in Gold. Katie Kelly, @lil_bit_of_fit

6) Realize the power of discipline
It is what it is – you either do or you don’t. There’s nothing worse than rolling thru life in the passenger’s seat.
It’s about keeping commitments to yourself. If dieting & obtaining the physique & level of health & success you desire were easy, everyone would be lean, happy & rich.
Goals don’t mean anything unless you ACT. Just like knowledge isn’t power unless there’s application. We were made to be ACTIVE participants in life. The word ATTRACTION includes the word ACTION.

7) You can’t please everyone & your Character matters!
“But one of the big lessons I have learned from my journey is you can’t please everyone, so don’t try.” — Chris Colfer

It’s impossible to please everyone in your life. Not everyone will agree with you or even like you. You don’t need to get the approval of others, especially if you strive for excellence over perfection.

Stay true to who you are. Find people who believe in you, and you believe in them. Find your tribe and stay loyal to those who give to you.

A person’s character is about their value systems and defines their behavior. Your behavior can be traced back to your values and beliefs. Your view of the world influences your behavior. Having good character helps you make good choices and decisions.

Good character is the foundation for good decisions

When you have a good character of honesty, loyalty, and perseverance, you’ll feel good about yourself while earning the trust and gaining the respect of others. People with solid moral character find happiness and success in their life and grow their relationships with others because of honesty, transparency, and mutual respect.

8) Be like water, flexible & adaptable. Realize good things are worth patience & sacrifice.

“A bad plan is better than no plan, and the most important quality of any plan is the flexibility to change.” — Judson L Moore

When you are flexible and adaptable, you more easily accomplish your goals. You find ways to cope and succeed when circumstances are not in your favor.

Learn to bend without breaking. Adaptability helps you handle and embrace change in order to be able to thrive in whatever situation life throws at you.

“The best things in life don’t come easy, but those things are the ones worth the sacrifice.” — Adriana Locke

A good life is up to you. The amount of effort you put in every day, the ability for you to learn from your mistakes, and how you cultivate a trustworthy network of colleagues and friends are up to you.

Your life is all about contrast. Nothing in this world is worth having if you don’t have to go through some hard times. The key is to have mental toughness, self belief, & an endurance mindset.

When you have these mindsets, you view failure as an opportunity to improve yourself, you are unafraid to take risks, and you make sure you continue to have a positive outlook on life because you know you’re worth it.

There you go, 8 life lessons that can change your life for the better!

You won’t learn these life lessons at one time. Be mindful that change takes time and allow yourself the time you need to grow. The key is to be aware of life lessons and apply them to your life. The change you want in life begins and ends with you.

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” — Bernice Johnson Reagon

Let ‘s crush this week!
oxox Coach K

bio carnivore lilbitoffit katie kelly indiana fishers

Hoosier farm girl & Purdue University grad, Katie is a multifaceted girlboss! She’s a nutritionist, radiologic technologist, personal coach, executive assistant, motivational speaker & writer, brand growth consultant, & connection maker working with individuals, businesses, organizations, & executives.

She specializes in gut health, sports nutrition, disordered eating, social branding, human connection, and how to organize/optimize life for better health, increased wealth & happiness!

Katie welcomes all preferences & skill levels with a no diet dogma or one size-size-fits-all approach to health, fitness, & nutrition.

After decades of struggling with her own health issues from Crohn’s, obesity, disordered eating, infertility, hormonal imbalances, & being a competitive athlete, she is passionate about helping others find self love, achieve their goals, & create sustainable success habits for an EXTRAordinary life!

Katie currently resides in Fishers, IN where she has worked in the health, sales, and nutrition field for over 17 years. You can find her on the gram, @lil_bit_of_fit

8 things you should do everyday to change your life

I’ve said it before, your daily habits, everything you consume, & who you surround yourself dictate how your life turns out. I posted this quote on my instagram stories this mornin:

The first few hours of your day are the most important. The first thing I do after waking is give gratitude to the Universe for allowing me to live another day.

I give gratitude to every slice of heaven & cup of joy no matter how small or trivial they may seem. Things like a warm summer morning, my cat Pete happy to see that I’m up, my beloved cup of coffee, the opportunity to workout, health & simply moving my body, a safe place to live, etc. These are privileges not everyone has & we have people fighting for us & giving up their lives so that we may have these privileges & freedom. #America

You can either start your day with junk (negative social media, distracting apps, processed food, negative self talk) or you can start your day with nourishment (reading, gratitude, movement, journaling, brain dumping, positive connection).

Throwback baby! Ahhhhh the lessons we learn. With age comes wisdom.

Which one do you think will set your day up for success?

Today’s world is weird & challenging. It’s not like it was even 2 years ago.

Mark Manson nailed it too, “Cell phones are the new cigarettes.” We are a world of people seeking instant gratification, temporary fulfillment, & always lookin for the next fix.

None of us are immune, but some of us are more self aware.

If you don’t purposely carve time out every day to progress & improve, you will get lost in the black hole of our increasingly “busy” lives.

I love this quote by Professor Harold Hill, “You pile up enough tomorrow’s, & you’ll find you’re left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterday’s.”

My secret, it’s really quite simple: success habits👇🏻

1.) Wake Up

2.) Get in your Game Zone 

3.) Move

4.) Eat Right

5.) Get Ready

6.) Find your Inspiration

7.) Visualize your Perfect Day

8.) Do One Thing to Move You Forward

✅ WAKE UP

Guys you have to make sleep a nonnegotiable. (7+ hrs) Sleep is as important as food, water, & exercise. You can google all the benefits. This post & the rest of this blog is absolutely worthless if you don’t make sleep, self care, & recovery a priority.

✅GET IN YOUR GAME ZONE

Gratitude is everything. You must manage your mindset to facilitate clarity & abundance. It’s like your “Luck 🍀Fuel.” I don’t think I need to say it again but I will 😆 👉🏻thoughts become things! Gratitude has been called the mother of all virtues.

✅MOVE

The most successful people in this world exercise in the morning. It also has been found to generate inspiration & clarity, not to mention the physical benefits. You know we all out here wantin to look good naked. We are vain, holistic creatures. Look good, feel good, do good. If you don’t take care of your body, every other aspect of your life will suffer.

I make sure to sleep 6-8 solid hours, yes that requires going to bed super freaking early but my life depends on it. I workout at 5am before my 12hr shifts at work. No excuses. You are either a DOer or a DONTer.

✅EAT RIGHT

Focus on protein & healthy fats as the center of your meals. Whole, natural, nourishing foods over processed. You eat like a trashcan you become the trashcan. Eat ENOUGH food. Food is also a privilege, don’t make chasing a smaller version of yourself you hobby. Your body is a machine, you have to fuel a machine with the right fuel. Food is not a treat, a reward, or something you need to earn – it is literally what you are made of. I don’t know about you but I don’t wanna be full of shxt 🤷‍♀️😆

✅GET READY

Embody the person you want to be. If you want to be a successful, impactful person — present yourself as one. What you wear, what you consume, how you carry yourself — all matter. 

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

✅FIND INSPIRATION

We’re all different, what inspires one may not inspire you. 

I read, “Ordinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek education and learning.”

Listen to podcasts, read, invest in events, masterminds, & coaches, watch YouTube‘s that make you want to be a better person. Seek people & portals that put you in the zone to perform at your highest.

✅VISUALIZE YOUR PERFECT DAY

You should be writing down your goals & intentions, no matter how small. To do lists & brain dumping are wonderful tools. You should also have a list of your core values which serve as a roadmap for all of your actions & decisions. Mine below.

Achieving your goals are inevitable if you follow a simple system & implement the right habits. Also goes back to thoughts become things. If you visualize and tell yourself everything is going wrong, you’re right.

✅ DO ONE THING TO MOVE FORWARD

I’ve had people say, “Well I’m just not as good as you so I can’t do x.” No, no one is better than the other some are more self-aware & more disciplined. I used to feel shame when people would tell me I was like a machine. I felt like a freak. Then I realized my will power & discipline are unwavering — that’s my superpower. They can be yours too. Will power is like a muscle. If you want it to grow, you have to execute. Do one thing that moves the needle forward every single day, whatever context you choose. It could be a body goal, a career goal, or a relationship goal. 

In closing, let me remind you, YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! 👏🏼 

Like Nike, “Just Do It.”

Oxox Coach K

Don’t be upset about the results you aren’t getting from the work you didn’t do

A client got pissed at me yesterday. I said, “Good, then I’m doin my job.”

I had several conversations yesterday via dm with people letting their mindsets & emotional heaviness get the best of them.

On repeat: You attract what you put out. You cannot become what you want by remaining where you are.

You gotta shift your mindset. Mindset is part of the work.

This particular client, flat refuses to eat more food yet wants to gain muscle & heal. And I get it, it’s a mindfxck. 

And I don’t care what goal y’all are chasin in whatever facet of life — DON’T BE UPSET ABOUT THE RESULTS YOU AREN’T GETTING FROM THE WORK YOU DIDN’T DO.

4 things I live by…& letting my weight or my Crohn’s or excuses control me — NOT any of those 3 things…

1.) Be mentally attractive, kind, & be worth knowing. You attract what you put out.

2.) Thou shall not judge because thou has fxcked up too.

3.) You either DO or you DON’T.

4.) 2 things I don’t like to share, toothbrushes & wieners. 

💁🏼‍♀️Slap that last one on a T-shirt.⁣

January 2021 I picked my word. Actually I picked 2: JOY & SURRENDER.

⁣Book Recommendation: One Word

How I choose mine:⁣

Step 1: Determine the person you want to be & embody. ⁣

Step 2: Identify the characteristics & things you need to do to be that person. ⁣

Step 3: Choose the word that resonates with your person & the life you want to create. ⁣

I want to know what y’all chose for 2021! What’s your word?👇🏻⁣

Leverage the Power of Your Thoughts and Watch How They Change Your Life

I invested $224 on a @scentsy order from a coworker just starting her side hustle last week.

She’s SO excited & eager.

I can see the sparkle ✨ of hustle in her eyes. My fellow entrepreneurs, you know what I’m talkin about: those dreamy, first time virgin optimism I’m gonna hustle&grind till I bleed, feels.

You also know what it feels like to think you’re a failure, not good enough, & an ‘imposter.’

So I wanted to do something nice for her like others had done for me in the past — build her confidence.

She said, “I took a chance, I dunno if I can do it.” 🤷‍♀️

I sat down.

I explained the power of her thoughts & vibration. She had to believe she was worthy & successful for the Universe to bring the right people & opportunities. 

It takes aligned thoughts, feelings, & ACTION — not from a place of desperation or lack but of ease & abundance.

Did I need said $224 worth of the scent ‘Mystery Man’ in my life? 

Maybe, maybe not 😂

Girls you know what I’m talkin about — God love the scent of a nice smelling man.

Am I right?!

Like not the ‘walking by Abercrombie & Hollister, overpowering, tryin too hard’ scent but the ‘confident, walking on the line of arrogance, sharp dressed man’ scent 🤤 Think Mr. Big. All my ‘Sex & the City’ 🌃 📺 👠 fans.

https://sexandthecity.fandom.com/wiki/Mr._Big

Anyways, got carried away… 😆

Someone stole my Fitbit watch last week as well. My fault, left it in the sauna bathroom when I changed. You would think most people would turn an item like that in.

They notified me no one turned it in. I replied, “That’s OK! I suppose someone needed my watch more than I did.” They were surprised with my response.

You see I’m grateful someone got pleasure out of me leaving my watch, & I’m grateful I have the finances to purchase another one, which is supporting someone else’s job too.

Look for the 💫 gold linings y’all & do something nice for someone. Your life will be so much sweeter.

And now…I can walk in my apartment to the delectable aroma of my Mystery Man ❤️🤗 

3 Hard Truths To Take With You Into 2021

I read, “You’re never going to be 100% ready and it’s never going to be just the right time, but that’s the point. It means that every moment is also the right moment. If you want it, you just have to do it.”

Hi five to whomever wrote that.🙋‍♀️ 

You wanna know why it’s so hard to get what you want (or what you think you want)?

Fear.

Doesn’t matter if it’s losing weight, talking to a person you like, moving, asking for a raise or going after that job you want.

Muscle ups scare the shit out of me but I commit to practicing relentlessly because I believe in my ability and deservingness of having what I want out of life.

**Some hard truths to take with you into 2021**

1.) You have a short term attitude that doesn’t align with your long-term intentions

Without a long term intention & approach to anything in life, you’re bound to suffer a rebound when you figure out it isn’t working. It’s that “oh fxck” moment…

How  you respond afterwords determines everything.

Take weight loss for example. Say you go low carb, lose a few pounds of water weight after a couple days, then discover it’s harder than you thought, your body isn’t responding as quickly as you thought — so you go back to old self sabotaging habits.

How about we commit to something more than 2 weeks? Commit, experiment, try & THEN if it’s still not working, it’s OK, be proud of yourself for trying!

Part of success is willingness to take a risk, yet also being smart enough to own it if it’s not working and search for another solution.

2.) You lack a quality support system 

Your environment is everything! Fitness, career, social media, relationship related — doesn’t matter.

Any source that makes you feel bad about yourself and drags your vibration down — get rid of it, unfollow, block, trash it. Replace them with sources and people who are positive & successful & living the life you desire.

I personally have been called a savage for the ability to cut people & things out of my life with no remorse if they are not serving my highest alignment, but guess what? I am a whole hxll of a lot happier because of this skill. Doesn’t mean you have to be an dxck, but be HONEST.

Don’t worry about what other people think of you, you will never be happy if you’re constantly people pleasing. Own your shxt, own your life.

You control your thoughts, environment, and reality of your life. Choose accordingly. 

3.) You lack clarity & don’t really know what you want

Write out your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Learn to BE with yourself. Align your thoughts & actions accordingly to be the person you want to embody and that life will follow. 

If you’re chronically stressed, sleep deprived, overworked, & talk down to yourself, your life will be a helluva lot harder. 

Set you day up for success. You should have a success routine & habits in place. I wrote a blog just the other day about 8 things you should do every single day to be more successful. I suggest you go back and look at that.

Keeping these 3 hard truths in mind will allow you to create the space to welcome more abundance in your life. 

If you WANT IT, you have to DO IT.

Make yourself proud. 

Oxox Coach K

The World’s Six Best Doctors by Steve Jobs

As the sun sets in Steve Job’s Life, he gave the world one last gift. “The World’s six best Doctors” – by Steve Jobs.

 As I walked in the sun yesterday, enjoying the warmth on my face, I reread this essay. I let the words that resonated with me sink in….

ox Enjoy!

This is his final essay:

I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.  In some others’ eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, my wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death. 

 You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone bear your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found or replaced. But there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost – Life. 

Whichever stage in life you are in right now, with time, you will face the day when the curtain comes down.  Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.

Treat yourself well and cherish others. 

As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time.  You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down – you go down with it.  

 Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, that is true happiness! 

Don’t educate your children to be rich.  Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price. 

Eat your food as your medicine, otherwise you have to eat medicine as your food. 

 The One who loves you will never leave you for another because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find a reason to hold on.

There is a big difference between a human being and being human.  Only a few really understand it. 

You are loved when you are born.  You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage! 

 The six best doctors in the world are – sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence and friends. 

Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy life!!

The Secret to Avoiding Regret

You are born rich — rich in potential. 

I feel one of the worst things you can carry in this life is a big ‘what if.’

For me, living without knowing or taking a risk is like a cold that won’t go away. It sits there on your heart feeding on your fear you missed out.

I’ve found the ache of regret & inaction hurts far worse than the small scratch of shame that you ‘failed’ or made a mistake.

The only thing worse than failure & dying is choking on a mediocre life of ‘what if’s.”

The cure?

— just fxckin do it.

Oxox Coach K

#sundayponderings 

Struggling to Find Your Purpose — Take The Roads Less Traveled

She told me I really have no idea my purpose or where I fit in.

To anyone who has struggled with this question, I feel your emotions to my core.

Some of my painful realizations that may help you too:

👉🏻I love entrepreneurship but I’m a really shxtty number 1 person when it comes to running a business. I’m a GREAT connection maker & number 2! 

Learned this coaching nutrition full time at one point & managing a sales territory for an online meal prep company.

I have gifts I’m naturally good at. Im a responder by nature, not an initiator. Great idea thinker. I’m phenomenal at reading people & the energy in a room — which makes me good at connecting with emotions. 

I loathe being ‘salesy’ & feeling like I HAVE to make sales for my livelihood. I lose the love for it and build resentment.

The thought of cold calls make me CRINGE. I also HATE luke warm small talk. Give me a hot lead, give me something to respond to & I’ll close the deal 99% of the time.

Taking on a high volume of clients takes a huge toll on my energy. I had to learn to scale & balance my loves of healthcare & coaching to create a positive, abundant, & safe environment to cultivate a lifestyle I loved without losing my shxt.

I felt ashamed & embarrassed to own this for years. Felt it made me a “failure”

I enjoy working as a team & for other people. I need direction but enough freedom to not feel caged in. That’s the sweet spot where I thrive.

It hurts. It’s painful to go through these experiences, but let me remind you the roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important people & places you’re meant to be.

My 1st job ever was working on my family farm.

2nd was working as an animal science lab assistant at Purdue.

3rd was a vet tech.

4th was a well-paying job with a

pharmaceutical company.

—I hated it. 

I made the decision my happiness was worth more than a paycheck.

Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I met my 2nd love — healthcare. My 1st will always & forever be agriculture. 

Guess what?

Still dunno wtf I’m doin or where I’m goin. One thing is for dxmn sure my life is never boring😂  

It’s OK to not know. 

It’s NOT OK to settle for mediocrity.

Don’t be afraid to take risks & take the path less traveled.

I’d love to hear your stories!!!🤗👇🏻

 Ps scrub lovers: my fav @urbanescrubs

A 4 step easy guide to pave your path to success

My success codes: 4, 3, 2, 1 

Short and sweet today, y’all, yet impactful and something you can create for yourself!

4 things I do everyday. 

3 things I do before anything else.

2 quotes I remind myself. 

1 thing I don’t do anymore. 

4 things I do everyday:

  • Write. I connect with myself & others. (Post. Blog. Email.) ✍🏼 
  • Get rid of at least 1 thing. 🗑 
  • Learn something new. 🧠 
  • Do something kind. ❤️

3 things I do before anything else:

  • Gratitude. 🙏
  • Feed Pete. 🐈‍⬛ 
  • Workout. 🏋🏼‍♀️

2 quotes I remind myself everyday:

  • Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach. – Tony Robbins
  • The biggest risk someone can take is to do nothing.  – Robert Kiyosaki

1 thing I don’t do anymore, the hardest lesson and the most important:

  • Don’t lie. ❌ To yourself & others.

It’s easy to not want to hurt others but it’s a whole lot easier to be honest, protect your integrity, and not have to remember what you said. 

That last one — ALL of us have done to some degree. Learn. We’re human. 

Triggered much?

Good. 

Do better. 

Oxox Coach K

The Truth About Imposter Syndrome, My Story

I deactivated my Facebook this weekend. Finally pulled the trigger. 

After the last year & a half of life changing stillness, loss, & uncertainty, I’ve been reflecting on my life, especially my career & authenticity.

It’s a whole hxll of a lot easier to look back & reflect only on the highlight reels, wanting to fast-forward or delete the painful moments.

I realized Facebook no longer brought me joy, I felt it was more of a negative distraction to fill the uncomfortable voids in my day.

Recently, I find myself pushing the pause again – pushing myself to take time to ask myself what REALLY aligns for ME at this very moment. It’s hard. I know, however, it’s absolutely necessary to grow.

The truth is, when I’m honest, not only did many fantastic opportunities in my life pass by or end prematurely because I felt I wasn’t good enough AND/OR I made a decision because I was placing someone else’s needs, feelings, & journey above my own.

Regardless of the circumstance, I would find valid reasons (excuses) why I needed to people please, or be the ‘Good Girl’, or the job or time or diet or workout or guy was/wasn’t right – yet I’d leave out the part about me not doubting myself. 

Reflecting on these cycles, I realized I was choking on imposter syndrome.

Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.

Years ago, a Brooklyn based meal prep company hired me as their Midwest Nutrition Sales & Consulting Representative. 

I knew jack about sales. 

I knew people. 

I knew how to care for people working in healthcare & radiology full time & coaching CrossFit & nutrition coaching as a side hustle. 

I took that job & traveled for a whole year, learned a lot of life skills, made tons of connections, & also was scared shitless 99% of the time. My picture was even on the front page of their website. 

Website Photo, Photo by Pamela Scott, Dreaming Willow Photography

I continuously told myself I wasn’t as good as the other reps. I made myself miserable. But I was really good at that ‘fake it till ya make it’ part. But it eats at you after time.

I was qualified, capable, and people loved me, but I wasn’t confident.

Have you ever felt like a complete fraud and that everyone was going to find out that you didn’t earn or deserving of your accomplishments? 

Have you struggled with feeling like you don’t belong, don’t fit in?

Join the club. No one likes to talk about or admit it though.

So I started researching how to overcome my feelings. Reviewing Dr. Valerie Young’s research, she discovered specific imposter syndrome subgroups:

  • The Perfectionist – They have such high expectations for themselves that even small mistakes will make them feel like a failure.
  • The Superwoman/Superman – They put in longer hours, never take days off and must succeed in all aspects of life in order to prove they are the “real deal.”
  • The Natural Genius – They are used to things coming easily, so when something is too hard or they don’t master it on the first try, they feel shame and self-doubt.
  • The Soloist – They don’t like to ask for help, so when they do, they feel like a failure or a fraud.
  • The Expert – They continuously seek out additional certifications or training because they feel as though they will never know enough to be truly qualified.

I’d read through these and thought, dxmn, I fit into more than one of these. 

Thank you, childhood trauma. 

My parents set high expectations for me at a young age (I’m grateful they did tho). 

I remember I got an 86%, my lowest grade ever, in Algebra, and I was devastated and thought my mom would hate me. 

I graduated in the top of my class in high school, and on the Dean’s list in college at Purdue University, landed a huge internship at Eli Lilly my senior year of college too, yet for some reason, I still never felt good enough.

Today, it’s even harder. Social media has connected us all in ways I never thought possible. It’s a double edged sword I say. It’s wonderful to use for education, creativity, & connection but it also conjures a whole mess of negativity too.

I told you all before, I LOATHE the word ‘influencer.’ I feel it labels & places us in a shallow box of facades.

I’ve discussed with y’all how photoshop, & filters, & focusing on the highlight reels distort our feelings about ourselves, expectations of proper life timelines, public image, body image – the list goes on. 

We place our worth and validation on likes & swipe rights.

So what do we do to overcome these faux feelings about ourselves? I though hard about this and came up with a few small steps that gave me solutions, comfort, & hope…

1.) Get Real Get Honest

When you feel like a fxck up, or unworthy, or you made a mistake, or you feel shame in some way – call yourself out & get real. You can only hide your feelings for so long, it’s just a Band-Aid.

2.) Emotions are Fleeting, Focus on Facts

We’re human, we change our minds and are emotional creatures. Write out the facts. Make a pros and cons list. You are qualified, capable, and worthy.

3.) Don’t Try to Fit In

Life would be boring if we were all the same.

Life would be boring if our lives always turned out as planned and perfect. You would never learn if you didn’t make mistakes. Your mess is your message. Be a trailblazer and own your shxt. Be kind always – to yourself and others. Seek first to understand before judging.

4.) Celebrate Every Win

Don’t downplay your accomplishments. No matter how small. Maybe you lost a couple lbs, maybe you got through your entire ‘To Do’ list, maybe you saved $100 this month, maybe you got a $2 raise, maybe you just got through the week and didn’t lose your shxt. High five sis, take’em all!

5.) Be The Person You Seek To Embody

I guess this is kind of like ‘fake it till you make it.’ All goes back to thoughts become things & you attract the vibe you put out. 

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Embrace yourself, baby. You have permission to be a hot mess & hot shot at the same time.

Surround yourself by people who make you better, push you, love and support you through the highlight reels & REAL reels. 

Remember these…

“Be yourself, an original is worth more than a copy.” – Unknown

and 

“If you want to be original, be ready to be copied.” – Coco Chanel

Oxox – Coach K