Tag: crohn's remission

Had a person tell me that they thought I “looked better” when I was heavier & eating carbs. That I was crazy for eating carnivore & it was just another shade of a f*cked up relationship with food.

Bless your heart, Karen🖕

What you don’t see from pictures, although you see a smile on the left, I felt like absolute shit on the inside.

I don’t think I look bad, more inflamed, absolutely, but I wasn’t as healthy as I am now. Today I’m med free & in Crohn’s remission🙏
I no longer binge eat & throw up my food.

HEALTHY is what matters.
Doesn’t matter if you gain weight or lose weight, if you gain your HEALTH in the process, THAT is what matters.

Here’s how you turn pain into power & let your mess be your message…

I remember it well, it was a Saturday morning. I snuck an unopened package of Girl Scout Tagalong Cookies into my bedroom. I ate the entire box while everyone slept.⁣
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Who would’ve known the gates of addiction, self sabotage, sickness, obesity, & decades of debt & relationship debacles would follow.⁣
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My body image issues, food addiction, gut dis-ease, & disordered eating started at the age of 8 with the opening of a package of girl scout cookies.⁣
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I could put away more food than my father did at dinner.⁣
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I’ll never forget my mom (bless her heart she meant well) saying, “If you keep eating like that you’ll get as big as a barn.”⁣
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I grew up on a family farm in small town USA, Indiana, raising crops & beef cattle. We ate good y’all. ALL the meat, potatoes, home-cooked baked goods, fried spam & bologna. ALL the down home country sht.⁣ ⁣

I am the oldest of 3. I have 2 younger brothers, both “skinny” growing up, I was always the “fat” one. There was a reason I played catcher in softball & threw shot put in track. You wouldn’t think it lookin at my 5’1, 105lb frame today at 40 years old.⁣ ⁣

I remember crumpling the package of cookies under my bed, hiding it in shame. I curled up in pain, stomach so full & nauseous from all the sugar. At that time I willed myself not to throw up. I was swollen, sick, ashamed, & unaware of the drug addiction that had only just begun.⁣ ⁣

“What have I done? What would my parents say or anyone else if they ever found out?” I thought.⁣ ⁣

Then the binging & purging began as I got older.⁣ ⁣

I discovered I could make myself throw up & “undo” what I had done. I could workout more. I could restrict more so I could enjoy my binges more & eat MORE.⁣ ⁣

Fucked up, right?!⁣
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The thing is the “monster” inside of you doesn’t see it that way.⁣

Sound familiar?⁣
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As painful as it is reliving these nightmares, I’m writing this for YOU.⁣
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YOU have the power to change. Use your struggles for STRENGTH.

Do you relate too?

Love & Hugs,
Oxox Coach K