5 Ways To Successfully Navigate Dating And Social Functions With IBS, IBD, and Special Diet Needs

crohn's gut triggers carnivore diet eating out

I knew something was wrong in my early 20s.

It was hard enough worrying about fitting in with the popular sorority girls in college. Special dietary needs and digestive issues piled on added physical, emotional, and mental weight. My body image and food issues started at the age of eight, and exacerbated as I got older — food fear, disordered eating, orthorexia, gastrointestinal bleeding, chronic constipation, abdominal pain, fatigue, weight gain, and bloating… just to name a few.

Decades later, I finally received a diagnosis.

Crohn’s Disease can occur in people of any age. By simple definition, Crohn’s is an inflammatory bowel disease that causes chronic inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract.

In the years that I have been managing this disease, I have been able to find health, happiness and wellness, even living with Crohn’s. What I’ve discovered is that it’s all about boundaries and vocalizing specific needs that would have solved a lot of suffering over the years had I shared them sooner.

Have you ever stopped to think about how 90% of your relationships are arguing over picking out a place to eat then ending up smashing pizza or Mexican & sayin the word “babe?”

cheers titos lilbitoffit

Don’t lie. Y’all know it’s true. 😂🤚

Now embracing my Crohn’s & Carnivore lifestyle, I realize sticking to my boundaries, non negotiables, & OWNING my special needs would’ve solved much suffering in my lifetime.

Dating & relationships are challenging enough, let alone the added stress if you struggle with any kind of special health & digestive needs.

It’s like the Bumble Prompt: “We’ll get along if…”

— literally have put “You aren’t vegan. 🥩“ there before.

(No diet dogma here, but let’s be real 😆)

I hardly think we’re gonna have a great relationship as you sit there with your kale salad glaring at me like I’m a degenerate as I’m devouring burger patties. 🥗🍔 

Ok, ok, joking aside, here are my top pieces of advice for successfully navigating dating and being social while living with Crohn’s. These tips are also helpful to those living with other special digestive needs and diets.

1.) Be honest and upfront about your needs.

Not only do you deserve the freedom to be yourself, others deserve to know who you truly are. Everyone deserves to know the real you and you deserve a real relationship. You do not want to jeopardize your health and eat or drink something that will trigger issues just because you are embarrassed to be yourself. Use it as an opportunity to educate. Embrace your uniqueness, most people don’t know what they don’t know. Education drives compliance and acceptance.

2.) Eat beforehand, bring your own food, and check the menu prior to your event.

This eliminates food issues completely. Social functions and dates do not need to be centered around food or cocktails. They should be centered around connection. By preparing ahead of time, you alleviate the stress of the unknown. Determine your nonnegotiables. They can be things like choosing to have a cocktail over a meal or choosing to savor a special meal from your favorite restaurant over your typical meal prep. I have literally brought @Zevia as a mixer or eaten an hour or two before dates/social functions.

Luckily with Carnivore, most places have a meat option. Custom order your food with specifics like grilled over fried, no oil, seasoning, sauces, or creams. Request an earlier time if later meals trigger gut symptoms and works better for your schedule.

My go to‘s when ordering out: 

  • Burger patties
  • Grilled chicken
  • Chicken wings (naked, no seasoning)
  • Grilled salmon, fish, scallops, shrimp 
  • Chopped steak, steaks
  • Fajita meat only when eating Mexican (ask for them to be cooked in no oil, seasonings, and no veggies)

COMMON FOOD TRIGGERS YOU MAY RELATE TO

3.) Request to have your cocktails crafted to your specific needs.

Most restaurants will cater to your food needs, don’t forget about cocktails, too. Read the ingredients in cocktails. Set drink limits. I have a two-three drink rule and personally avoid any calorically dense beverages with an abundance of sugar, carbs, or gluten. Remember that no one wants to be the girl or guy sitting on the corner trying to find your dignity down the street the next day. That look is not cute on anyone.

My Favorite Cocktails:

  • Diet & vodka or Hiatus Tequila with lemon &/or lime
  • Prosecco 
  • Old fashioned (hold the simple syrup if concerned about carbs & sugar)
  • Bourbon on the rocks

4.) Be an unapologetic question-asker and boundary-setter.

If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never know. Simple as that.

Boundaries are paramount. I struggled setting and standing by my boundaries when I was younger. I felt I was apologizing for everything whether I needed to apologize or not.

I had a professor tell me one time, “Never apologize for something you purposely set out to do with good intentions or a minor mistake simply because you’re human. If you go through life always apologizing, people will take you a lot less seriously, and so will you.”

Healthy boundaries are there to protect you. Don’t apologize for special needs, non-negotiables, and protecting your energy. Maybe you require more alone time or maybe you don’t feel like going out. Own your boundaries or people will continue to step over the line.

5.) Be a realistic relentless optimist.

Accept the facts but choose to always look for the silver linings.

Thoughts become things. Most would prefer to be around people who radiate joy and positivity.

I have a letter board in my kitchen that reads, “Stay close to the people who feel like sunshine.” I choose to be one of those people and bring the sunshine more than the rain.

Remember, just because you have special needs or a chronic illness does not mean you have to dull your sparkle!

Oxox Coach K

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bio carnivore lilbitoffit katie kelly indiana fishers
Hoosier farm girl & Purdue University grad, Katie is a multifaceted girlboss! She’s a nutritionist, radiologic technologist, personal coach, executive assistant, motivational speaker & writer, & brand growth consultant working with individuals, businesses, organizations, & executives.
She specializes in gut health, sports nutrition, disordered eating, social branding, human connection, and how to optimize life to attract health, wealth, & happiness.
Katie welcomes all preferences & skill levels with a no diet dogma or one size-size-fits-all approach to health, wellness, fitness, & nutrition.
After decades of struggling with her own health issues from Crohn’s, obesity, disordered eating, infertility, hormonal imbalances, & being a competitive athlete, she is passionate about helping others find self love, achieve their goals, & create sustainable success habits for an EXTRAordinary life!

The ultimate guide to fat loss, health, and wellness! My secrets revealed!

A woman who knows herself & what she brings to the table is not afraid to eat alone. – me

— Literally & figuratively.

“Wellness Truths” & Reminders for Life I’ve learned thru my healing & fitness journey. Basically everything detailed in this blog, you’ll wanna take notes!

Tons of new followers on IG, WELCOME, I hope these answer all of your questions!

I’m speaking from my experience here, remember, we are all beautifully unique & different human beings. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. You have to find your special blend.

For example, many people give advice that aren’t always applicable to everyone like:

👉🏻Everything in Moderation

Not everyone can moderate. I am an abstainer.  Food is like a drug to me, carbs specifically. They are not the devil I just have a poor relationship with them. I do better with food rules. Moderation leads to self sabotage for someone like me. We can’t have one cookie, it leads to the whole package & emotional distress — just like an alcoholic can’t have one drink.

👉🏻Just Eat Until You’re Full

Some people don’t know what it feels like to be comfortably full. They can’t assess or distinguish satiety signals. Those do better with portion control measures, macros, food rules & eating schedules.

👉🏻Just Eat When You’re Hungry

Just like satiety cues, some people don’t know when they’re really hungry and when they’re emotionally eating. These are skills you have to learn and they start with self-awareness. Hunger can be stimulated even when you’re not hungry simply by smelling food, seeing food, thirst, learned habits like eating in front of the TV, boredom, & stress eating.

I hope these raindrops of enlightenment can fill your cup with the nourishment you need to create your own blend & thrive. ☕️ 💧 🌱 🪴 🌻

 I talk about food, macros, training, all your questions & everything in between, keep reading!

REMINDERS FOR LIFE

🌻Grant yourself permission.

You are allowed to:

Feel how you feel. Want what you want. Know what you know. Sense what you sense. Crave what you crave. Be where you are & do things your way. Learn to trust yourself.

🌻Stop accepting your story if you wish for another.

You’re not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Relax. Make a decision & master the day. Then just keep doing that every day. Decide who you are & how you react. Live a life  & timeline authentic to YOU.

🌻You are the creator & the cause.

Thoughts become things. You are the creator of your world. You can create new realities inside & outside any experience. You can create ways out of or into any experience. You attract what you put out.

🌻If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.

Read that again.

🌻It gets better.

Love finds you when you love yourself & your life first. It’s the space in between the life & love we’ve lost & the life & love we hope for that we find ourselves.

🌻Leaders are readers & surround themselves with successful people.

Success leaves clues. Fuel your body & your BRAIN. Listen to podcasts, read, ask questions, get a coach or mentor. Cut out toxic people & energy vampires.

🌻Minimize toxins the best you can for healthy hormones.

This means parabans, plastics, pesticides, processed food, artificial ingredients. Ditch the Tupperware, check your beauty products, cleaning supplies, & READ INGREDIENT & NUTRITION LABELS.

🌻Move in the morning.

Workout, walk, yoga, mobility. Shoot for 10k steps/day. Increasing your NEAT (non-exercise movement) has the biggest impact on total calorie burn throughout the day. Walk after eating meals & after lunch. Set break times every 20-30 minutes. Simply get up & walk.

🌻Your body likes routine.

Set eating times & pick foods that suit your lifestyle, schedule, & wellness goals. This is different for everyone.

MY WELLNESS SECRETS & TRUTHS

🌻For me, I prefer 2 meals a day. The largest after my workout for recovery, the second late afternoon around 1-2pm. My digestion is slow & not as efficient in the evening, therefore I keep my largest meals early in the day & fast anywhere from 16-20 hours overnight depending on my work & workout schedule. I do not do extended fasting. Fasting is not a dirty word. It is simply a tool & strategy to optimize fueling your body. Just like macros.

🌻Set realistic expectations as far as fat loss and aesthetic goals. Realize a certain level of leanness is going to require sacrifices. You will be hungry. It will suck. If you want shredded abs & all the striations, stop your bitching and put in the fxcking work. That work requires MINDSET work as well. If you’re not willing to do what those people are willing to do to look that way, set another goal. As a coach myself, our job is to tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. Sometimes that means setting a new goal, eating more food, committing to a healing process, resting, and learning to love yourself first. 

🌻Balancing blood sugar is the key to fat loss, feeling satisfied, & minimizing cravings. Keep meals protein & fat focused. You should not be snacking in between meals. If you feel the need to snack, your meal either didn’t contain enough protein and or fat or was not large enough. I love my NutriSense continuous glucose monitor, you can snag one here for yourself! CODE: KATIECGM25 for some $$. It has helped me manage my blood sugar levels by giving me data to make more educated decisions about fasting, meal sizes, meal options, exercise intensity – ALL THE THINGS!

✅Protein is the most satiating. General range: 1g of protein per body weight or goal weight for most. Avid exercisers, athletes, people lifting weights, and older people require more. Most do well spreading out around 30-50 g per meal without digestive distress.

✅For carbs, most people do well controlling blood sugar regulation with meals under 40 g of carbohydrates. The less active you are the less carbohydrates you typically require. The body optimizes carbohydrates most efficiently post workout and in the evening before bed because it reduces your cortisol (stress) level and can help you sleep better.

✅Nail your protein first and then determine what fuel source is most appropriate for your health needs, digestion, training and fitness goals. Your fuel sources are carbohydrates and fats.

🌻I work out fasted at 5 AM most mornings. Fasting blood glucose I like around 75-90 You can test with a simple glucometer from Amazon or any drug store or get yourself a NutriSense CGM like I talked about in above bullets. I feel best working out 4-5 days/week. Mix of cardio & strength training. Do shit you LOVE that keep you active and in the gym & take rest days. I prefer 1 active recovery day & 1 full rest day.

🌻 Manage stress. Schedule self care & rest days. Sleep 7-8 hrs a night. If you’re sleeping less than 6 you did not earn your workout. My secret weapons: 

@hotworx.fishers infrared saunas

@3kings_athletics CrossFit & Beats 

@bryanboorstein Evolved Systems Training programming

@vitalityivbar wellness treatments

@massageheightsindy massages

Routine colonics treatments via Brandy Mason Colon Hydrotherapy in Carmel, IN (I have her info as well, dm me on Instagram)

@instacart Grocery Delivery

@stitchfix Personal Stylists

✅Favorite self care is coloring, writing, walking, live music, time with friends, a spa day, pedicure, working out, & a new mani via my @impressmanicure press on nails. I get them at CVS, Kroger, Target, & Meijer. 

🌻I don’t ‘treat myself’ or ‘cheat.’ Food is not a reward/something to earn. I also dislike saying cheat because it implies it’s going to benefit you in some way. Cheaters cheat to win. Do you really think you’re winning by cheating yourself?

🌻I eat 2 meals/d on avg as I said before. My days off or if I can sleep in, I now eat 1 meal. You must experiment. Your experience/needs will be different than mine.⁣ It takes TIME. It took me an entire year to fully adapt to an animal based lifestyle, & yes, I gained 15lbs initially. I’ve now lost around 20. 

🌻Majority of meals are my Airfryer Crispy meat bars. 85% ground beef, ground chicken. Avg 2lbs of meat/d. Ground meat is easier to digest & track. I removed most pork & dairy, I don’t digest’em well. I don’t add extra fat often. Choose meats that are higher in fat. No I don’t like organ meat, I prefer the taste of grain fed over grass fed beef.

Airfryer Crispy Meat Bars

The secret is leaving it loosely packed for the crispy exterior. Do not pack them into tight patties. Break them up into 4 to 5 sections. Chicken and turkey are harder to break up, it’s super loosey-goosey. Times will vary depending on your air fryer. I have an Instant 6qt. On Amazon favorites list, link in bio on IG.

Set Airfry, 380, 12 minutes, no preheat.

⁣🌻I stick to beef because it’s satisfying & delicious but not SO delicious I want to binge. Food addicts tend to have issues controlling carbs, sugar, sugar free substitutes, keto treats, dairy, butter, cheese, bacon, pork rinds, hyper palatable & processed meats)

🌻There are 50 freaking shades of the carnivore diet. Don’t hate on other people because they include other things into their diets. We all have different toleration‘s & needs. I have a million sensitivities so I typically only season with pink Himalayan sea salt. The majority of my food is meat & eggs. Epic Brand baked Himalayan sea salt pork rinds if I need something crunchy and low carb. 

🌻Rice cakes on occasion post workout or in the evening if I need them, rarely above 50g/day. I do fine on white rice, rice cakes, rice Chex cereal, & honey as far as carbs. I don’t crave carbs anymore, so I rarely need a refeed day anymore.

🌻Preworkout & morning drink I enjoy @strongcoffeecompany Latte. It’s kind of like a creamer for me. It does have caffeine. I blend about 4oz coffee, 5-6oz hot water, & 1/2 scoop of the strong coffee company latte. Use a packet of stevia if you want yours sweeter. Link in bio on Instagram. Discount code: KatieKelly 

🌻 I don’t take many supplements anymore but I do recommend the NuEthix Formulations Brand. I have use these all throughout my healing, health, fat loss, performance — you name it journeys! Link in bio also on this website & IG. Discount Code: lilbitoffit

Feel free to message me on the gram, we can go over a supplement regimen that’s appropriate for you.

🌻I track macros loosely. It keeps me accountable & I know where to adjust. 

**Again these numbers are for ME** 

I hesitate to give any specific numbers but I want to show you guys how much food you can actually eat & enjoy when you commit to healing & eating foods that work for you!

I’m 5’1, now around 105-107, crossFit & lift 5 days a week, average 13-15,000 steps/d, active job.

Macros VARY but these are my AVG ratios: 0-5% Carb, around 30% Protein, & 60% Fat 

Around 1900-2100 cal/d. Protein I’m around 130g-170g (Yes, I realize that’s a 💩 ton but I thrive on higher protein & moderate fat. I don’t have a gallbladder so my threshold is lower than most keto, low carb, and carnivore connoisseur‘s)

I don’t over complicate things or give a shit that people say, “Oh my gosh if you eat too much protein you’re going to get fat because it all turns to glucose, yada yada.” It’s better (for me & most people out there anyways) than eating boxes of pop tarts and Twinkies. Yes, too high a protein can cause issues if your fat isn’t high enough on a low carb approach. Eat what you want people as long as it keeps you you’re healthiest self and you feel great. The most common mistake I see when people are trying to adopt a low-carb lifestyle is not eating enough food in general and their protein being too high and fat not high enough.

🌻YES, you can CrossFit & carnivore, CAREFULLY. Comes down to allowing yourself to fully adapt to being fat-fueled, meal timing, eating ample calories, & RECOVERY. I did a full interview on my first year on carnivore here. Please check it out it will answer most of your questions about transitioning to carnivore.

🌻 Sleep=nonnegotiable. 7 hrs min. Zzyquil helps. I take it most nights because I can’t shut my mind off. It is what it is I’m transparent here. Don’t you dare tell me to cut out coffee, that is a nonnegotiable for me. I am well aware of a healthy caffeine intake. I keep mine under 300 mg a day and only in the mornings. 

🌻Questions about steps. Yes, I still hit 13-15k steps/day⁣, even on rest days, drinkin a ton of water + electrolytes, fasting when I’m not hungry (~18hrs avg), eating when I am.⁣⁣ No extended fasts, no snacking. I like Ultima Replenisher in grape and raspberry flavor. Link in bio on Instagram as well.

⁣🌻I do drink coffee daily. Have cocktails socially. I don’t typically eat & have cocktails I choose 1 or the other. Set a 2-3 drink max limit. I don’t drink half as much as I used to. Some months I won’t drink it all, others, I’ll pick one day & go out on the weekend. I’m an adult it’s my choice. I don’t deny or beat myself up if I choose to be a human & drink & make memories with friends & family. Go your own way! I do feel better not drinking, duh, as most of us will. Lack of sleep, stress, & consuming food triggers cause more issues with any gut or Crohn’s flare‘s for me. Alcohol on occasion, I’m OK with. Be your own mixologist. I typically order a diet coke and ask for a shot of vodka that I mix myself. That way you have control over how much alcohol is in it.

You determine your non-negotiables. Some days it’s electrolytes & my crispy airfryer meat bars, other days it’s vodka & bourbon. 🤷‍♀️Whatevs. Just be aware of the repercussions of your choices.

🌻Go get your health markers, hormones, gut stuff, bloodwork, etc tested if you feel like things are off. I can’t stress that enough stop guessing.

Please feel free to reach out if you need a consultation by myself or need recommendations for other coaches more applicable to you and your needs! Fill out a basic inquiry here so I can learn about you!

Whew y’all. That’s a lot of brain dumping & word vomit! I hope these tidbits can serve you in a way that you need to help you be your happiest and healthiest!! 

Again never hesitate to reach out to me, I live on the gram most of the time and do my best to answer each and everyone of you back!

Love y’all so much!

Oxox Coach K

Fitness truths I’ve learned and why you may be gaining weight

Fax Friday. I am really glad I keep LEGACY photos now of my fitness journey.  For decades I would’ve cringed at the thought of taking a picture of myself. 

Now I use them as a tool to adjust my nutrition protocols for my health & fitness goals. It all comes down with your relationship with things, fam. Change your perspectives!

I want to make the most evidence based progress related changes possible. Because my health fxcking deserves it.

I will continue to harp at all of you to educate yourselves, find mentors, find coaches, people to help you along your health & fitness journey. 

None of us know everything but there are plenty of free resources & awesome people out there to help you make the right decisions when it comes to your goals. 

These cookie cutter programs & templates don’t give you the tools to help you make informed choices when you’re finished. 

That’s the point of trying new things & hiring people to help you. We don’t want you to need us forever. If you need us forever we’re not doing our jobs.

I don’t believe in any perfect way of eating — only the perfect way of eating for YOU.

You’ve asked about things I’ve learned through my fitness journey & why you may be gaining weight on low carb.

THINGS IVE LEARNED ALONG MY FITNESS JOURNEY:

💓 Carbs are not the enemy, your relationship & application of them is what determines their meaning. Higher carbs will give you more energy, help you recover from higher intensity activity, they make your muscles fuller, sometimes an insulin reset is needed for specific symptoms, dis-ease, & seasons. 

Consult with a coach or practitioner beforehand if you don’t know what you’re doing. 

💓Higher fat & protein diets keep you more satiated, they keep your energy levels & blood sugar more stable, they will help with insulin resistance, they are not necessary to follow forever.  For some, like myself, they help with digestive symptoms & help you lean out around your stomach as long as your calories match your needs & energy balance. 

💓 For me, gluten free, dairy free, low fodmap, low lectin, low oxalate, animal based, low fiber work best to control digestive symptoms & my Crohn’s. I have worked with a functional medicine doctor to rid myself of SIBO & CANDIDA years ago. Symptoms were much better after undergoing a 12 week protocol. GET TESTED, QUIT GUESSING. Through trial & error & decades of experience I figured out what works best for my body. Which will be different from your body. 

💓Educate yourselves. I’ve had to adjust my nutrition & training numerous times with specific food choices & workout modalities — it’s OK to experiment. That’s the only way you’re going to learn what truly works for YOU. There are no magic sets of macros or diet camps or fasting protocols, etc — they’re all simply tools for your toolbelt & puzzle pieces that will either fit or they don’t. Go your own way. 5 things that ALWAYS MATTER no matter what diet you’re doing: Your mindset, sleep, simple movement, & the quality & quantity of food you consume. 

REASONS YOU MAY BE GAINING WEIGHT ON CARNIVORE OR LOW CARB:

🥩You’re eating in a surplus. As with ANY diet you choose if you are eating in a surplus chances are you will put on body fat. It’s part of it. This is when you should be focusing on muscle gain & strength.

🥩You’ve been eating in a chronic deficit & your body is finally getting the nutrients it needs to function & grow muscle. You WANT muscle growth. More muscle=more food=more badass. You can’t  have the athletic body without building the muscle underneath FIRST. This weight gain is actually weight restoration.

🥩You’re snacking too much on things like pork rinds, fat bombs, or fake keto junk like Atkins bars. They’re easy to overeat & nutrient deficient. Even no cal artificial sweeteners can trigger hunger, water retention, & over eating. Go back to the basics for a while & experiment. Simplify. Meat, water, coffee, no sweeteners. 

🥩You’re choosing highly palatable meats & foods like ribeyes, bacon, cheese, butter, processed meats, etc. they are delicious, YES, but can trigger over eating when you’re not really hungry. It’s like when you’re not hungry but then they bring out dessert. Most of us will have that extra piece of cake. Choose foods that are satisfying & get the job done. My choice (FOR ME)  is ground beef & ground chicken cooked in the air fryer. Fuggin delicious & satiating, but not so much I’m triggered to eat more for pleasure & not true hunger. 

🥩You’re overly fasting, overly training, not sleeping, still eating foods you don’t digest well, &/or over caffeinating or consuming excess alcohol. All these things are stressors which increases our blood glucose & cortisol level. Chronically high cortisol & hormone imbalances affect your weight, recovery, energy, & fat loss. Reduce your workout intensity & volume, SLEEP, reduce caffeine/alcohol, cut out foods & habits that hinder your digestion, shorten your fasting window or STOP fasting. Get a @nutrisenseio continuous glucose monitor to track blood sugar levels. It’s a wealth of information & will help you more accurately make adjustments!

🥩You’re eating too much protein, throwing hormones & your biofeedback off. Try increasing your fats & start with protein around 1g per lb of LEAN BODY MASS or 20-30% of your daily calories. Our energy sources come from fats & carbs. Play around with it, you’ll find your thresholds. Play around with different kinds of meats & macros ratios. There’s no one-size-fits-all. If in doubt, invest in a coach or practitioner to help!


xoxoxo’s y’all, happy Friday!