Love lessons and things to learn about yourself to be successful in love

love lessons

Love is a classroom not a candy shop.
— Life lessons I’ve learned from the school of hard knocks
📸 : simply showin love for this lil meat sack in the mirror.

lilbitoffit
Self love is the best love.

Love is the most powerful force in the world. In my opinion, the only thing that matters. For nothing would exist in this world, including you, without love.

I used to think there was only one soulmate out there made specifically just for you. After 39 years I’ve learned you’ll meet many people & things throughout your life that will be your “soulmate.” Some for seasons & others maybe for life.

I define “soulmate” now as a mate that helps you find your soul. This includes yourself, memories, places, things, friends, family, lovers, & enemies.

A book that changed my life 15 years ago, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I discovered it in a desk drawer at work & no one knew how it got there. I was miserable at this time struggling in my marriage & with mental & physical health. It taught me the power of my thoughts, love, & perspective.

Lessons I’ve learned about love that may help spark thought & introspection for you today…

-When you seek pleasure & lust it always runs away from you but when you seek purpose, understanding & connection, pleasure comes towards you because it’s a byproduct of you putting in the work.

  • Learn about yourself & your person. Understand what you both love, how you’re both wired, love languages, etc.
  • love lessons

Things that helped me understand myself & other people…
FUN STUFF ABOUT ME
👇
▪️Manifesting Generator (Human Design) basically get sh*t done & move at the speed of thought. Busy bodies, worker bees, get more done before 9am than most do in a week.

▪️ENFJ (Myers Briggs) among the rarest of the 16 types, only 2-3% of the population. The ENFJ is warm, extroverted, engaging, charismatic, persuasive, & talkative.⁣ Oprah, Barack Obama, Maya Angelou.

▪️2w3 (Enneagram) The helper/achiever, desire to fulfill the needs of others & can sense emotions with clarity & precision. Helping & achieving brings us Joy.

▪️Love languages: 1.words of affirmation 2. physical touch 3. quality time⁣

⁣▪️Astrology: I’m a Rising Scorpio ♏️ , Cancer ♋️ Sun, Sagittarius ♐️ moon. Basically a contradictory Unicorn because I love deep thinking, caretaking, & solitude, but the Sag loves freedom, extroversion & adventure. I’m freedom & home❤😘

  • All of these things craft a completely unique & wonderful individual. You can always know someone deeper.

This is why there is so much infidelity because we are addicted to newness. So why don’t you learn something new about your other half? It’s just like walking down the same path every day, why don’t you try to notice a new flower, rock, or tree? Then you’ll discover the same old paths can always be new & exciting. Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary.

  • Be playful but don’t play mind games. If you’re interested, make the move & observe. If they don’t respond, move on. We build strength when we make the move because we build confidence. This is you being in charge of your destiny. Mind games destroy the authenticity of a relationship.
  • Making someone feel bad doesn’t make them good. You change because of love, clarity, & communication. We don’t change because of judgment, guilt, & expectation
  • Any recurring issues you need to solve for the long run.
  • Prepare your partner for your mood swings & schedule. Communicate what makes you feel safe. For example, ask, “Do you need support or a solution.?” “Does saving make you feel safe or your earning power?” Check in with your other half. Pick one day a week & have a date check in. Ask them, “What was the highlight of your week & how can I help you?
  • Focus on how you can complement, not compete or complete. When you compete you’re trying to be everything. When you compliment, you are just being you. Take a moment & recognize what your other half brings to the relationship.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday & Valentine’s Eve, squad!
Go out there & love someone today!

oxox Coach K

Things you may need to hear today.

Things you may need to hear today…

👉🏻You don’t have to have life figured out.

Age (like weight) is JUST a number. Whether you’re 18, 21, 35 or 60. At school, we’re kinda forced to study certain things, pushed into a seemingly “normal” routine/timeline. (College, marriage, kids, jobs, diets, etc) Don’t worry if you’ve done things differently or, if you’ve followed that path & don’t really know what to do with your life yet. 

I have friends (& myself) who were married at 22 & divorced (some divorced twice). I have others who have been together since high school & are happily married with kids. 

I have friends who are 35 & beyond still single & traveling, or friends who are 25 & have the “white picket fence.” Others are married to their careers.

It’s cliche but you don’t have to ‘find yourself’ & figure out what works for you like it’s a finish line. It’s about enjoying the NOW & the journey of your evolvement. 

Trust me, you’ll be a helluva lot happier when you stop giving a shxt so much about tryna figure it out & fit into a box or camp.

Aging is a privilege. Just like all those wrinkles, stretch marks, sunspots, & “flaws” you have. That means you’ve lived!!!!

Can’t fuggin WAIT for my 40’s, every year it gets better! My birthday is next Friday BTW, I’m knockin 40’s door, I’ll be 39! Almost to cougar status.🐆 😂 

👉🏻Don’t compare yourself.

We choose to share certain things on social media & people don’t know the half of it. You cannot judge 1 chapter of your life to someone elses. There’s always someone in a better & worse situation than you. Just do you.

👉🏻Rainy days make flowers & rainbows.

The world is both bad & good, its called contrast. It’s important to spread kindness & love where you can. Sprinkle it everywhere. Smiles are free. You have the power to make someones day, use your power! Don’t. Be. A. Dick. (🤔Unless it’s the kind of D you want. Lol. I had to. 😂)

👉🏻You’re doing FABULOUS. 

In case noone told you today. Every day you have the opportunity to begin again & write another page.

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

Kathryn Stockett, The Help

One of my favorite movies of all time. WATCH IT.

So there we have it.

If you needed this today, I hope it helped. As always, I love hearing y’all’s feedback and advice for others on Instagram!

Oxox 

Coach K