Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
I remember the day I looked in the mirror & realized I’d been living a lie.
I’d been living in a figurative house my lies built.
Btw, I hate sharing my food.
Other things I don’t share are toothbrushes & wieners but those stories probly aren’t IG appropriate & sure to spark conversations that’ll go down the gutter rather quickly😂 Yes, I also need to put that on a T-shirt🤔
My success, I understand now, I owe to cultivating a routine & environment that serves me positively body, mind, & spirit.
I’m still hungry but in a much different way…
I love my life & am extremely grateful. It has fed my soul & stoked my hunger in more ways than one & got me thinkin…
I remember being hungry all the time. Even after a huge meal, I still wanted dessert.
I noticed my friends were able to eat smaller portions & be satisfied. I felt ashamed. I’d binge on massive portions of carbs, usually cookies, candy, brownies, donuts & ice cream.
Ice cream was easier to throw up. I could eat gallons & I’m embarrassed to even tell you how many gallons I’ve eaten at 1 sitting.
As I aged & became more self aware, a sense of amazement/awakening crept over me…
Was this bottomless hunger really all physical hunger? It couldn’t be.
Could I sit down at a meal & push away my plate, full & satisfied, without the urge to overeat?
I could, but only after I figured out that I wasn’t only hungry for food. I was hungry for purpose, enjoyment & satisfaction, & not just in my belly, but in my whole life.
Somewhere as a kid, between farm chores, playing with My Little Ponies & going on my 1st diet, I lost track of the idea that I was allowed to enjoy my body, my food, & just being me.
I had to learn the bigger lesson – that hunger isn’t simply about filling our bellies, but about something deeper: a hunger for purpose, connection, joy, & love.
From my own experience & awakening of learning to feel full, body & heart, I hope you find ways to satisfy your inner hunger.
Sharing my routine which has enabled me to have the body & life of my dreams.
Let this be a conversation starter with yourself. If you need help cultivating a routine, I’d be glad to listen! 🥰
Love is a classroom not a candy shop. — Life lessons I’ve learned from the school of hard knocks 📸 : simply showin love for this lil meat sack in the mirror.
Self love is the best love.
Love is the most powerful force in the world. In my opinion, the only thing that matters. For nothing would exist in this world, including you, without love.
I used to think there was only one soulmate out there made specifically just for you. After 39 years I’ve learned you’ll meet many people & things throughout your life that will be your “soulmate.” Some for seasons & others maybe for life.
I define “soulmate” now as a mate that helps you find your soul. This includes yourself, memories, places, things, friends, family, lovers, & enemies.
A book that changed my life 15 years ago, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I discovered it in a desk drawer at work & no one knew how it got there. I was miserable at this time struggling in my marriage & with mental & physical health. It taught me the power of my thoughts, love, & perspective.
Lessons I’ve learned about love that may help spark thought & introspection for you today…
-When you seek pleasure & lust it always runs away from you but when you seek purpose, understanding & connection, pleasure comes towards you because it’s a byproduct of you putting in the work.
Learn about yourself & your person. Understand what you both love, how you’re both wired, love languages, etc.
Things that helped me understand myself & other people… FUN STUFF ABOUT ME👇 ▪️Manifesting Generator (Human Design) basically get sh*t done & move at the speed of thought. Busy bodies, worker bees, get more done before 9am than most do in a week.
▪️ENFJ (Myers Briggs) among the rarest of the 16 types, only 2-3% of the population. The ENFJ is warm, extroverted, engaging, charismatic, persuasive, & talkative. Oprah, Barack Obama, Maya Angelou.
▪️2w3 (Enneagram) The helper/achiever, desire to fulfill the needs of others & can sense emotions with clarity & precision. Helping & achieving brings us Joy.
▪️Astrology: I’m a Rising Scorpio ♏️ , Cancer ♋️ Sun, Sagittarius ♐️ moon. Basically a contradictory Unicorn because I love deep thinking, caretaking, & solitude, but the Sag loves freedom, extroversion & adventure. I’m freedom & home❤😘
All of these things craft a completely unique & wonderful individual. You can always know someone deeper.
This is why there is so much infidelity because we are addicted to newness. So why don’t you learn something new about your other half? It’s just like walking down the same path every day, why don’t you try to notice a new flower, rock, or tree? Then you’ll discover the same old paths can always be new & exciting. Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary.
Be playful but don’t play mind games. If you’re interested, make the move & observe. If they don’t respond, move on. We build strength when we make the move because we build confidence. This is you being in charge of your destiny. Mind games destroy the authenticity of a relationship.
Making someone feel bad doesn’t make them good. You change because of love, clarity, & communication. We don’t change because of judgment, guilt, & expectation
Any recurring issues you need to solve for the long run.
Prepare your partner for your mood swings & schedule. Communicate what makes you feel safe. For example, ask, “Do you need support or a solution.?” “Does saving make you feel safe or your earning power?” Check in with your other half. Pick one day a week & have a date check in. Ask them, “What was the highlight of your week & how can I help you?
Focus on how you can complement, not compete or complete. When you compete you’re trying to be everything. When you compliment, you are just being you. Take a moment & recognize what your other half brings to the relationship.
Happy Super Bowl Sunday & Valentine’s Eve, squad! Go out there & love someone today!
This morning I I realized how messed up my relationships were.
I thought about chapters in the past, the struggles in particular. I talked about overcoming struggle yesterday.
(If you haven’t, check that blog out. I needed to hear it myself too. A swift kick in the🍑)
Food, body image, money, & love are all connected. My 29 year old self & sure as sh*t my 19 year old self had NO IDEA.
It all comes down to energetics & the way you FEEL about yourself.
I told y’all my body image issues, eating disorders, & fxckd up relationship with food & myself started at the age of 8.
I never felt pretty or significant. We had “enough” as a hardworking family of 5, growing up on a farm.
But as a child, often material “wealth” outweighs the truly important things like kindness & service.
So if you don’t have certain things or dress like the cool kids, you’re picked on & told that you’re poor & less worthy.
If you’re not skinny like the popular kids you’re told you’re fat & not worthy of love.
This wrecked my relationships with love, food, & money for decades.
As a result I racked up credit card debt to buy things to make myself feel more worthy.
I over ate & under ate to control my body thinking reaching a certain size would make me worthy of love. Exacerbating my poor health, disordered eating, & gut issues.
My romantic relationships we’re like rainbows of confusion, struggle, & continuously feeling lost.
We place value & control on specific things for validation in hopes of making ourselves FEEL a certain way.
Usually the feelings we’re chasing are to be loved, seen, heard, worthy, significant, & included.
We want to be CHOSEN & LOVED.
Over spending
Discounting & under valuing
Emotional eating & Disordered eating
Over exercising
Giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them
People pleasing & playing small
Excessive drinking & drug use
In American society we tend to value thin bodies, financial wealth, titles, material wealth, “fitting in & following suit.”
Improvement in all of these areas of my life started with changing my mindset, my energetics around my worth, reminding myself money is just energy, thoughts became things & I controlled my reality by my reaction, reminding myself there is so much abundance in this world, I matter simply because I exist & because I have a kind heart & choose a life of service & purpose.
I felt some of you out there may have needed to hear this message this morning & know that you’re not alone.
I may be known as a “nutrition coach” & “Xray tech”, but a reminder there are so many more facets to you than labels, food, money, & body image.
And my doors are open if you need a listening ear who accepts you as perfectly imperfect as you are.
And what you are is incredible simply because you’re YOU.💕
I would say up until, let’s say a few years ago, it’s hard to pin down exactity (I made that word up btw), I feel I lived my life in a constant struggle.
Occasionally I still do, except now, I see the beauty & gift that comes from the grit of the struggle. We wouldn’t understand the contrast or be able to savor the warmth & joy of the good times.
We all struggle with our own demons in some way because we’re human.
The most common messages I receive are “How do I overcome X struggle?” In one short-ISH response, I’m gonna give you the advice I would give my own children if I had any.
Know I’m also writing this not just for y’all who are strugglin, but also to my former self & a reminder to this present woman. Advice I wish I had when I felt worthless, ugly, fat, insignificant, unloved, & like my whole world was collapsing around me & I just couldn’t dig my way out.
When I thought darkness & scarcity & sickness was just “My Story” until I realized it was more about changing my desires & how I felt vs changing my beliefs. There’s a difference. Changing your vibration & feelings will attract what you want much quicker than simply stating a changed belief. Attraction includes the word ACTION.
Going through struggle is not about focusing on the suffering or avoidance of, it’s about embracing overcoming adversity.
So my top 4 tips to those who are constantly on the struggle bus & hot mess express:
1. BEcome MORE When my life kicked me in the face, one thing that always snapped me back to my desired reality: the realization that I had to actually had to BEcome MORE. I had to BE & DO who I want to BEcome.
For me, I struggled with the facade I wasn’t a significant person worth knowing or loving – BECAUSE I hadn’t become a person worth knowing. I let every shadow, bad habit, & sh*tty thought take over my life like a black cloud.
I either made fun of others or hid in shame to cover up my own insecurities. Examples: I laughed at people in that mushy gushy love, thought having money made you “bad” or it was hard to make, I hid in shame, people pleasing, & stifled my potential because I never wanted to be seen as a failure, rejected, & different, mocked “skinny” girls because secretly I wanted to be them.
You are capable of so much more than you think. Your voice matters & you can bring about phenomenal change in this world if you just let go of your fear of what others think of you, of thinking you have to hide behind your fake azz social media, of fitting into society’s boxes, & anything else not serving you.
Choose to BEcome MORE.
2. EXTRAordinary takes being EXTRA. Fxcking own it. Frankly we’re lazy af as a society. We want everything to be easy peasy like taking a pill to get that “toned” physique we all desire. When the only way to truly get it & KEEP IT, is by consistency & creating an internal & external environment to support the person we wish to be.
You know I’m not one to sugar coat, literally & figuratively, if you’re struggling, it’s because you need to DO MORE to BEcome MORE than you’re currently doing. Do more of the good shiz like:
– Smile at people for no good reason. They’re free!
– Give compliments just because they make someone feel loved
– Hold the door open for people, be kind
– Go to the fxcking gym. Eat your beef.
– Get your face out of your phone & acknowledge people in line or the elevator, get off your phone at dinner & actually talk, be present
– Do more of what you love just because it brings you JOY
– Allow yourself to love without expectations & risk being hurt because it’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all
– Be unapologetic about loving yourself above all & realizing you owe no one anything
3. Experience More
I used to be scared sh*tless to think about hopping on a plane, road tripping alone, or striking up a conversation with anyone I didn’t know. It stifled me. Now I LOVE IT! I meet new people & friends everywhere I go.
Being married to a US Marine in one chapter of my life & experiencing the melting pot of the military opened my eyes to a whole new world & I will be forever grateful. It has made me more well-rounded & appreciative of other ethnicities & all backgrounds.
Traveling made me more compassionate, appreciative of how I was raised, & opened my eyes to the world beyond my “perfect” & “safe” small country town USA in McCordsville, Indiana.
Get out of your hometown, pack your suitcase, & roll. Not to escape life, but to give yourself the moment to explore & pause to go find yourself again.
4. Be Content with Enoughness
I felt like a failure the majority of my life because I didn’t “live up to society’s ‘normal’ timeline.” I’ve talked about this before, I thought by 40 I would have been married 18 years, have 2 kids, a white picket fence, & 18 years seniority at the same job since college.
LMFAO.
2 divorces, infertility, thousands of dollars in debt, more jobs than I can count or include on a 1 page resume, & decades of sickness & beating the sh*t outta my body later…
But like I stated before, you don’t appreciate the good times without the bad. I would not be the woman I am today, writing this, helping you, via these experiences without them. Embrace adversity & YOUR OWN TIMELINE. Life happens FOR US not to us.
You are enough simply because you exist. You will always be rich if you’re content with ENOUGH. Our future is not guaranteed, that’s really all we’re guaranteed.
Accumulating money, titles, things, followers, a shrinking number on the scale, abs, certain milestones, whatever you wanna insert here…are pointless quests if you don’t love who you are & where you are right now.
Repeat after me:
“Trust that some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet. There are going to be parties that leave you dancing until 6am, spontaneous adventures that teach you more than you ever learned in a classroom. There are going to be nights that will stay burned beneath your eyelids, memories that dance underneath your skin. Life is going to exceed your expectations, it is going to astonish you with its timing.
Going to take a different spin to answering y’alls questions today and I feel no matter what you are wanting to change or bring into your life this is how you’ll get it.
This really has nothing to do with a specific diet, macros, or workouts, BUT everything in your life stems from healing & cultivating a better relationship with just 2 things: knowing your worth & you’re enough & putting action behind it.
You see you can go to the best doctors or hire all the best practitioners & coaches in the world but if you don’t believe in yourself, that you are worthy of whatever you’re seeking or wanting to heal, you’ll never get it.
We go to coaches & doctors for the “answers,” often seeking more numbing mechanisms to cover up the underlying issue which is us not believing in ourselves. We numb with excess food, shopping, alcohol, giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them, etc. So I can sit here & give you all the specific diets, macros, & workouts, but they don’t fxcking matter if you don’t believe in yourself & that you’re worthy of these things. That means being able to apply the information as well, & if you’re paralyzed by your beliefs, the application won’t happen either.
For example, chasing beauty, love & success, even if you attain these things, they won’t bring you happiness & love unless you love yourself. Look at Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Robin Williams, Heath ledger… just had this conversation with one of my best friends the other day while watching A Knight’s Tale with Heath Ledger. These people were so immensely talented & yet they took their own lives because they didn’t love themselves.
Ladies, some of the most beautiful models in the world, the most successful people in the world get left in relationships, are lonely, & are not happy because they don’t love themselves. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and the beholder is you.
When traumatic experiences happen to you, like maybe you were left as a child, or someone left you in a relationship, if you start to believe you’re not enough, & these things pile up on top of you, & you don’t learn to unpack your bag — they will suffocate you & take over your life.
“Bad” shxt happens, but if you seek changing your personality, or chasing a body aesthetic to attain “happiness” you will forever be unfulfilled, you’re not really treating & healing the underlying issue which is you believe you’re not enough. I did this, I did this for decades & chased a smaller body thinking it would make me happier — it did not. It may temporarily give you that “high” but you won’t stay there. You won’t stay there until you become the person you want to be & cultivate those success habits & commitments to stay the person you desire to be.
So take all these talented amazing people like the actors, actresses, models – all these successful people we think have everything, but do they? It’s easy to hide behind & be fooled by filters, editors, & facades.
Take us as young girls or boys, we often times chase after boys & girls, we try to change ourselves, we try to please our parents, please teachers, please other people & where does it get us?
Love & worth are not to be chased, earned, or worked for – just like food, they are essential for life.
Watch your world change when you start to love yourself. It’s like the “Beauty is not the rent we pay to exist in this world.” We matter just because we exist. I have this on a post it on my mirror.
As children what happens is we have unmet needs. We want to be loved, we want to be safe, we want to be viewed as successful & significant & we encounter disappointment in these areas. We begin to believe that our needs will never be met & we are not enough which transcends into our adult lives.
There is no one thing in this world that can meet your unmet needs other than yourself.
To feel beautiful & loved you don’t need to change your shape or get surgery or whatever you seek to change your appearance, the one thing you need to do is believe you are loved & lovable because that is what you will attract in your life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself or change something as long as it comes from a place of self loving & not self loathing. Your foundation has to be set on true self love.
People love you & see your significance & appreciate you to the degree that you love & see your significance for yourself.
Think about it, when people say good things about you like, “You’re beautiful, my goodness you are so talented, I just love to hear your voice, etc” — all these good things are warm like a fabulous cup of coffee or that cocktail you love you that warms you from the insides. Exude that energy & other people will see it & you’ll notice better things will come into your life when you vibrate at this high energy. You can choose this feeling right now. Don’t give other people or things that power with which you hold within yourself.
Because when these things leave you, we tend to feel poorly about ourselves. Remember we attract everything that is aligned to our energy. What is meant for you will never miss you & if it’s meant to leave let it go. Release it with a loving heart.
When you learn the art of unattachment, that’s when you start a lifelong romance with your life. One that is fulfilling. One that will give you the body that you want, the feelings that you want, the experiences that you want, & the people that you want, and it all starts with you.- Not a diet, not another person, not the right workouts, or meal plan, or macros.
So how do we do it? You have to learn to nourish your soul like you nourish your body. You have to nourish your mind. Tell yourself what you want to feel & what you want to hear & paint a different picture. Tell yourself you are beautiful & you have a fabulous life & ove being in the sunshine & you have people who love you simply because you are you. Paint that picture & believe it.
Create vision boards. I love Pinterest & save quotes that make me feel alive, loved, understood. I save pictures of the healthy body I want & how I feel. I save pictures of relationships goals & the person I want to be & I want my partner to be. Embody the habits of that person you want to embody & put them in place to get what you want. You have to put action behind the desires, too.
Set your clothes out in the morning to make it easy for yourself to go work out. TImeblock walks in your schedule. Meal prep your food ahead of time so you have good things to eat. Book self care & time to yourself. Unapologetically own your fxcking life & quit letting other people influence your life & live it for you. Don’t let them influence you by putting down a specific diet or things that you love, or telling you you’re weird & you need to change. That’s giving other people power.
The longest relationship you’ll have in your entire life is with you. Kids grow up. Partners leave or they die. Your parents pass. Friends will come and go. But you always will be with yourself until your very last breath.
Believe you are worth it.Because you are. Remember if beauty made you happy every beautiful person would be happy. A bodybuilder knows you have to break down muscle & build it back up & let it recover over & over again to get the body they want — a wounded, broken heart is just the same.
What’s my favorite position… CEO. (Ma girl @laurenconrad ) (Ps. I don’t wear many T-shirts but this is one of my favorites I bought last year from @amandaradke It fit this post perfectly 😉) Holy smokes…I found this entry below on my notes page in my phone from 2018. It brought back every painful emotion at that point in my life & it also made me really fxcking proud of myself. I’ll share it openly with you & maybe it can give you the hope you need today or however it resonates…
December 30, 2018 ✍🏼 :
“What’s my favorite position… -CEO, mf’s (Borrowed from ma girl @laurenconrad ) The age old question😆 We’ll keep it PG13. You’ll never be CEO of your life until you own it & start acting like it. Does this mean perfection? – absolutely not, but EFFORT, YES. -You wanna lose weight? Invest a coach, make a plan, act. -You want a better relationship? Put forth the effort to nurture that relationship. Especially the one with yourself. -You want a different career? Get clarity on what sets your soul on fire & seek it. Open yourself up to receive. 2018, I don’t know about chy’all but I don’t know whether to say thank you or🖕🏻you. But you know what, the sweet spot is found in the middle. To say this year was a roller coaster doesn’t do it justice. Highs & lows like the ocean tide. ▪️Rebranded into an amazing new business ▪️Traveled the US & met so many beautiful people & new friends ▪️ Changed jobs for what seems a bagillion times ▪️ Another failed relationship 🤷♀️ ▪️ My health tanked, spent the whole year building a new me from the inside out ▪️ My car was repoed. But I now have payed her off NOW! ❤️🚗 ▪️ Invested in a business coach, learned tough love & more about the bullshxt lies I tell myself ▪️ Aching broken heart 💔 ▪️ Weight & energy up & down & all around ▪️ And then, I found myself again Sounds familiar? We’re all the same. The best part of this year was genuinely making connections with so many beautiful humans all over the world. From the bottom of my heart thank you for blessing my life y’all! Love people. Be unapologetic about who you truly are & openly accepting of others. Your network is truly your net worth. Remember, what they think of you will never cut you a check. And you are far richer & able in so many ways other than money. Cheers ☕️🥂 What did you learn from 2018?” Now think back to 2018 & let that sink in. Are you still feeding yourself bullshxt sandwiches?
I’ve said it before, your daily habits, everything you consume, & who you surround yourself dictate how your life turns out. I posted this quote on my instagram stories this mornin:
The first few hours of your day are the most important. The first thing I do after waking is give gratitude to the Universe for allowing me to live another day.
I give gratitude to every slice of heaven & cup of joy no matter how small or trivial they may seem. Things like a warm summer morning, my cat Pete happy to see that I’m up, my beloved cup of coffee, the opportunity to workout, health & simply moving my body, a safe place to live, etc. These are privileges not everyone has & we have people fighting for us & giving up their lives so that we may have these privileges & freedom. #America
You can either start your day with junk (negative social media, distracting apps, processed food, negative self talk) or you can start your day with nourishment (reading, gratitude, movement, journaling, brain dumping, positive connection).
Throwback baby! Ahhhhh the lessons we learn. With age comes wisdom.
Which one do you think will set your day up for success?
Today’s world is weird & challenging. It’s not like it was even 2 years ago.
Mark Manson nailed it too, “Cell phones are the new cigarettes.” We are a world of people seeking instant gratification, temporary fulfillment, & always lookin for the next fix.
None of us are immune, but some of us are more self aware.
If you don’t purposely carve time out every day to progress & improve, you will get lost in the black hole of our increasingly “busy” lives.
I love this quote by Professor Harold Hill, “You pile up enough tomorrow’s, & you’ll find you’re left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterday’s.”
My secret, it’s really quite simple: success habits👇🏻
1.) Wake Up
2.) Get in your Game Zone
3.) Move
4.) Eat Right
5.) Get Ready
6.) Find your Inspiration
7.) Visualize your Perfect Day
8.) Do One Thing to Move You Forward
✅ WAKE UP
Guys you have to make sleep a nonnegotiable. (7+ hrs) Sleep is as important as food, water, & exercise. You can google all the benefits. This post & the rest of this blog is absolutely worthless if you don’t make sleep, self care, & recovery a priority.
✅GET IN YOUR GAME ZONE
Gratitude is everything. You must manage your mindset to facilitate clarity & abundance. It’s like your “Luck 🍀Fuel.” I don’t think I need to say it again but I will 😆 👉🏻thoughts become things! Gratitude has been called the mother of all virtues.
But first coffee…and brain dumping 🙂
Pete is always happy to see his momma! Grateful for this littler ornery companion of mine!
✅MOVE
The most successful people in this world exercise in the morning. It also has been found to generate inspiration & clarity, not to mention the physical benefits. You know we all out here wantin to look good naked. We are vain, holistic creatures. Look good, feel good, do good. If you don’t take care of your body, every other aspect of your life will suffer.
I make sure to sleep 6-8 solid hours, yes that requires going to bed super freaking early but my life depends on it. I workout at 5am before my 12hr shifts at work. No excuses. You are either a DOer or a DONTer.
✅EAT RIGHT
Focus on protein & healthy fats as the center of your meals. Whole, natural, nourishing foods over processed. You eat like a trashcan you become the trashcan. Eat ENOUGH food. Food is also a privilege, don’t make chasing a smaller version of yourself you hobby. Your body is a machine, you have to fuel a machine with the right fuel. Food is not a treat, a reward, or something you need to earn – it is literally what you are made of. I don’t know about you but I don’t wanna be full of shxt 🤷♀️😆
Embody the person you want to be. If you want to be a successful, impactful person — present yourself as one. What you wear, what you consume, how you carry yourself — all matter.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
✅FIND INSPIRATION
We’re all different, what inspires one may not inspire you.
I read, “Ordinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek education and learning.”
Listen to podcasts, read, invest in events, masterminds, & coaches, watch YouTube‘s that make you want to be a better person. Seek people & portals that put you in the zone to perform at your highest.
✅VISUALIZE YOUR PERFECT DAY
You should be writing down your goals & intentions, no matter how small. To do lists & brain dumping are wonderful tools. You should also have a list of your core values which serve as a roadmap for all of your actions & decisions. Mine below.
Achieving your goals are inevitable if you follow a simple system & implement the right habits. Also goes back to thoughts become things. If you visualize and tell yourself everything is going wrong, you’re right.
✅ DO ONE THING TO MOVE FORWARD
I’ve had people say, “Well I’m just not as good as you so I can’t do x.” No, no one is better than the other some are more self-aware & more disciplined. I used to feel shame when people would tell me I was like a machine. I felt like a freak. Then I realized my will power & discipline are unwavering — that’s my superpower. They can be yours too. Will power is like a muscle. If you want it to grow, you have to execute. Do one thing that moves the needle forward every single day, whatever context you choose. It could be a body goal, a career goal, or a relationship goal.
In closing, let me remind you, YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! 👏🏼
I know I’m not the only one out there that has let themselves get to the point where your mood is basically, “Fxck EVERYTHING.” That deserves an LOL fo sho!
There’s no way to sugarcoat this – I’m just telling ya like it is. Coach “Keepin it Real” K 🙋♀️
We can’t BS ourselves & say we don’t know how we got here, because in retrospect – WE DO. This is a big topic my clients & I talk about & how we can prevent these roadblocks from stopping us in our tracks.
To offer a lil bit of help, so this “mood” doesn’t swallow & paralyze you to the point that overwhelm, poor health, weight gain, hopelessness, depression, & normal functioning stops (as you see it impacts you both emotionally & physically) — here are some exercises that have helped me & my clients avoid major catastrophes!
Create a “Control & Release” List
One of the first things I do with clients who are dealing with burnout or hopelessness is have them write a list of everything that’s stressing them out, or making them angry & upset.
Then, we go through the list & divide it into things that are within their control, & things that are beyond their control. Like a pros & cons list.
You can’t avoid work hours or certain bills or social/family commitments but you can control how are you react to them, things like your sleep, over training or lack of movement, choosing foods that make you feel nourished & fantastic vs guilty & bloated, self-care time.
The point is to get familiar with what’s demanding the bulk of your time & energy, assessing how you’re reacting to it, & controlling only what you can control.
Create “You Time”
We need time to ground. Setting aside time each day that are completely your own will only serve you positively in every facet of your life. Doesn’t matter what it is. It could be getting a pedicure, taking a walk, coloring, journaling, meditating, catching a workout, taking yourself out on a date. I would even suggest putting it in your scheduler as an appointment to keep “work” from bleeding into your time.
Invest In A Coach or Mentor
We live in a society & culture that is all hustle. Seek out those people who seem to balance it well and embody the life and the person you desire to be. I call them expanders.
“Success leaves clues.” – Tony Robbins
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” – quoted by so many top leaders
You’ve probably heard it more times than you can count…
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn.
There’s also the “show me your friends & I’ll show you your future” derivative.
Whichever you’ve heard, the intent is the same. Audit the people around you!
Create “Personal Success Boundaries” to help you navigate socializing.
While I agree one of the preventative tactics for burnout is to have a robust & fulfilling social & home life, constantly getting texts/calls/DMs/Snapchats, whatever, can be taxing, & energetically draining too. Especially for us introverts & empaths.
To avoid getting into the “I have no people juice left or fxcks to give” zone, you gotta set boundaries, sis.
This can look however you want it to. Maybe it’s letting people know that you’ll be slow to text back or “off the grid” till Monday. Or it could be as simple as saying NO to certain people & things, because you’ve decided they’re energy draining vs energy giving. Or maybe it interferes with your workout time or Netflix & chill time, whatevs.
Whatever your success boundaries, stick to them as best as you can AND communicate your “rules” to folks in your inner circle as they come up.
If somebody doesn’t understand them or can’t evolve WITH YOU — they’re NOT your people. I don’t care how hot they are, this especially matters in romantic relationships. The people meant to be in your life align with you at this very moment. Learn to be unattached to outcomes & lovingly release what is not meant for you. Anything meant for you you should not have to chase and it shouldn’t be hard.
Balance shxtty tasks with things that bring you JOY
Know what brings you joy, unapologetically.
I say this all the time, “Self-awareness is your superpower.”
If lifting weights doesn’t bring you joy, and running does – run. And vice versa.
If you love staying at home but your friends &/or other half likes to be social, find a balance! Stay home this weekend and go out the next.
If you hate your job or relationship or financial situation or the fact you don’t feel well & don’t like your body – you have the power to choose again & choose a thought or something that brings you JOY.
There is so much abundance out there if you keep an open mind & heart, just focus on doing what makes you happy & give up expectations, control, & worry.
I keep this reminder in my scheduler. Anytime I feel overwhelm, I pull it out and read it aloud to myself.
I hope these exercises help you feel a lil better on a day to day basis, which is a sunnier place to launch & will give you the ability to advocate for the bigger inner, & subsequently, outer changes we desperately seek ❤️🌈
And if you need to book a consultation and talk, about whatever is hindering you – nutrition, health, life, relationship related – fill out an inquiry HERE and we’ll schedule time.
What if instead of trying to fix your entire story, just focus on writing one extraordinary story at a time. Then commit to planting those extraordinary seeds every day and watch your story grow. I write everyday. Stories. Stories are important. For they create your identity. The book, Atomic Habits talks about stories. What stories are you telling yourself? What identity do you want to embody? What systems do you have in place to help you achieve your goals? I feel there are 3 big areas of emotion affected by the stories we tell ourselves. Money stories. Relationship stories. Health (Food & Body) stories. What I did wrong: all 3 of these in some way I discounted my worth & desires. I set blocks instead of boundaries — there’s a difference. For example, relationships: If I was asked out & I really liked a guy, I’d lose myself & completely change my plans to do what they wanted to do. This was me not valuing my needs. A block. Now, instead of completely denying myself of my plans/needs I would simply say, “Let me get my workout in (or insert whatever plan I had for myself). I will connect & confirm plans later because I would like to spend time with you.” This is me setting a boundary not a block. This application can be used across the board. Example, Health: instead of saying, “I’m not a morning person, I don’t have time to meal prep.” Set a system & a boundary. “I don’t like to get up early but I will commit to 3 mornings this week & meal prep lunches because I want to be healthy.” Choose extraordinary actions because you deserve to write extraordinary stories. Write the identity you want to embody around money, relationships, & health. Mine👇🏻 MONEY: I am safe, able, deserving, successful & abundant. RELATIONSHIP: I am loved, seen, heard, safe, & significant. My relationships feel like freedom & home. I want my future partner to feel the same in the way they need. HEALTH: I am healthy, energetic, thriving, strong, intelligent, & beautiful in every season. Inner calm, outer order😉 Share yours!
A client got pissed at me yesterday. I said, “Good, then I’m doin my job.”
I had several conversations yesterday via dm with people letting their mindsets & emotional heaviness get the best of them.
On repeat: You attract what you put out. You cannot become what you want by remaining where you are.
You gotta shift your mindset. Mindset is part of the work.
This particular client, flat refuses to eat more food yet wants to gain muscle & heal. And I get it, it’s a mindfxck.
And I don’t care what goal y’all are chasin in whatever facet of life — DON’T BE UPSET ABOUT THE RESULTS YOU AREN’T GETTING FROM THE WORK YOU DIDN’T DO.
4 things I live by…& letting my weight or my Crohn’s or excuses control me — NOT any of those 3 things…
1.) Be mentally attractive, kind, & be worth knowing. You attract what you put out.
2.) Thou shall not judge because thou has fxcked up too.
3.) You either DO or you DON’T.
4.) 2 things I don’t like to share, toothbrushes & wieners.
💁🏼♀️Slap that last one on a T-shirt.
January 2021 I picked my word. Actually I picked 2: JOY & SURRENDER.
