Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
Who else here is a recovering obliger? A recovering ‘Good Girl or Guy?’🙋♀️
Like it didn’t matter what context of life I was obliging, I wanted to oblige because I wanted to be ‘The Good Girl.’
‘Good Girls’ were accepted & safe. They did what was expected of them.
‘Nice’ was accepted & safe. If you’re ’Nice’ then everyone has to like you, right?!
‘Vanilla’ was accepted & safe. It’s like the default choice because you can’t make up your mind what ice cream you want.
The problem I later found as I aged, was ‘Good’ & ‘Nice’ & ‘Vanilla’ really didn’t get me anywhere.
In fact, I loathe the words ‘Good,’ ‘Nice,’ & ‘Vanilla.’
I don’t care if you’re talkin about food, sex, or money, Honey, if you’re describing them as good, nice, or vanilla — I ain’t interested anymore.
I feel they’re the default, you choosing to settle. It’s like being someone’s side chick or guy. You want someone to see you as ‘The One’ — the one that walks in a room & sparkles. Everyone stares. But instead, you were chosen as the default, not ‘The One.’
I feel everyone has had the same experience at some point in their lives, whether it was a friendship, a romantic relationship, or professionally.
My definition of ‘Good Girlitis’ is the unproductive thoughts, feelings, & behaviors that inhibit one’s potential, growth, perception, & enjoyment of the experience & entirety of life.
So think about this if you feel you’re livin life like a watered down cocktail. Are you living as a watered down version of yourself?
I want exquisite, extraordinary, luscious.
Rolls off the tongue a lil sweeter don’t it? 😉
I’d rather be the human that doesn’t do rules, I do what feels right✨
Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto Can’t wait to do another one of these!
I said, “Get a life.” Had the pleasure of snuggling up with a green beverage & answering questions with a digital friend yesterday on St. Patrick’s day. She said, “I just need to pick your brain about some relationship things I’m going through. I respect & appreciate your positive energy sprinkled with such blunt honesty.” I laughed 😄 Best compliment I had all day. My dad used to say I was a lot like a caged raccoon. They’re attracted to shiny things & look all cute & harmless, but as soon as you stick your fingers in the cage they bite’em off. Thanks Dad. If you don’t come from the Midwest or the South you may not understand that metaphor. Lol 😂 I swear I don’t bite 😉 Anywhoodle… She asked, “What’s the 1 piece of advice you would give to someone with codependency in every relationship they seem to have? Because that’s me. I feel I change for every relationship and rely on other people for my sense of happiness which in turn results in failed friendships & romantic relationships.” I don’t know about y’all but I felt this woman’s question in my soul. That used to be me. I wasn’t happy or felt any self worth unless I had a partner. I would let their energy affect my energy. I would change my interests, wants, & needs to suit their‘s. I would make their life, my life — to the point I felt my purpose was to simply serve them. If you don’t know what codependency means: noun
excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. Apparently being in a relationship was an illness and an addiction. My Achilles’ heel per se. So I told her, “Get. A. Life.” You know why we struggle with relationships in today’s society? Because we don’t cultivate a self aware one with ourselves first. Because we don’t connect our souls with one another anymore, we like to connect our social media accounts & swipe right. We communicate with ambiguity. Vapid small talk just to fill silence. We ourselves don’t get clarity on what we really want. It seems when we do fall in love, it’s only after considering if we’re settling or not, whether a person can give us the life we want & fulfill unrealistic desires. We’re blinded by filters. We forget to date one another. We let passion & playfulness & adventure die. We don’t ask what the other needs to be seen, heard, loved, & supported. We look for someone perfect to complete us while we already have the best possible one within us. I’m just gonna say this, ‘singlehood’ has been vilified for way too long. I believe it’s actually the 1 thing people need to experience fully in order to cultivate more successful , meaningful relationships. If you don’t build a home in yourself first & don’t even know who you are as your authentic self, how do you expect to get to know someone else on a deeper level & accept them as they are? It truly goes back to self love & self worth. You are seeking these things from other people. High seekers do the same thing. Everything‘s great when it’s new & fun but as soon as the ‘real life’ mundane button is pushed, you become avoidant & seek new highs. Yup, calling myself out there too. Queen of the avoidants. Thanks to my therapist for pointing that out. Through therapy I learned how being made fun of as a kid affected my relationships & love life. I built walls so high around myself & guarded them with weapons of avoidant attachment, sarcasm & ambiguity. My therapist told me I am REALLY GOOD at acting like I don’t give a fxck. So much so I somehow taught myself how to shut my emotion off & that’s why I was able to cut people out of my life with no remorse. Oooof. Fxck me, right?! 😆 Sound familiar? Anyone else an avoidant like me? 🤚 Guys that liked me who were attractive, smart, & successful intimidated me whether I liked them or not because I felt I was still that fat girl & not successful enough to be worthy of a relationship with them. My therapist said I placed them in this box of the popular boys at school that used to make fun of me, which wasn’t fair to them or myself. So I’d ‘settle’ for less than men, frankly, as she put it, “Not on on the same level as me.” I did this because subconsciously I knew I was smarter, more successful, and more in control. Same with successful women, too. I felt I wasn’t good enough to “sit at the cool kids table.” Oooof. Another fxck me.😫 These are the things you need to hear. I understand it’s not what you want to hear. They’re dirty, & heavy, & gross. Find yourself. Date yourself. You have to be whole first. No one completes you or owns your relationship. A relationship is shared, it’s like a Google Drive. What happens is you get into a relationship & lose your life slowly. That relationship then becomes your life, your world. Then when something goes wrong in that relationship, or there is conflict, your world comes crashing down because you’ve made that relationship your world. We share our life with our partner we don’t give our life to our partner & vice versa. It doesn’t mean to love LESS it means to love SO MUCH your wholeness, & your partners wholeness mean more individually so you can both be POWERFUL AF together. Find someone carrying their own bag. Find someone that is willing to sit on the floor beside you. Y’all can pack & unpack your bags together. ❤️ I’ll be right there with you, with a cocktail or coffee, your choice 😉 Oxox Coach K
This morning I read a post by @the.holistic.psychologist that said, “Not everyone wants to get better + & that’s ok. Some people have an identity tied to sickness. Others fear true wellness because it is the unknown + the unknown is unpredictable.”
Ooof. Felt that one in my soul. How about you?
A quote I live by, “At the end of our life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” – Jack Kornfield
Maaaaaaaan have I loved 😆
Have I always loved well, however? No.
I’ve worked in healthcare for 16 years, a health coach for 6, had I can’t even count how many “failed” (I put this in quotes because it’s only a failure if you failed to learn the lessons 😉) romantic relationships & fizzed out friendships where this statement was applicable at some point.
A big lesson I learned, you can’t fully support &/or love a person for where you want them to be — you have to meet them where they are now.
No matter what type of relationship we’re talkin about. You can’t discount yourself based upon someone else’s potential. You only have the experience right now.
I don’t care if you’re a coach, doctor, married, divorced, partnered, a friend or family relationship — you can’t wish someone well, they HAVE to do the work & want to do/get better.
I brain dumped.
What can I teach you guys today that I wished I had known decades ago? And I’m still learning right along with y’all…
Here goes…
How to Love Yourself AND Love the People in Your Life:
1.) Always be honest no matter how bad it hurts.
2.) The true mark of expansion, self love, peace, & evolvement is recognizing someone else’s happiness is your happiness even if that means making a hard decision & lovingly letting them go.
3.) Tell people how brilliant & able they are. Sometimes they don’t see it for themselves. Kindness is always cool. Remember the Golden Rule✨
4.) It is possible to love someone but not be in love with them. You determine what kind of relationship you want, be HONEST.
5.) Be authentic. Give others the gift of the real you & a real relationship. Don’t people please + change yourself for any kind of relationship. It will always come back & bite you in the a$$.
6.) Listen more than you talk. People want to be seen, heard, loved, supported, & appreciated. And remember, the most interesting person in the room is the person who is the most interested. Ask questions.
7.) Be giving, but never sacrifice or compromise your integrity or authenticity. Boundaries change lives for the better. Strengthen yours.
8.) Always live by your values. Thoughts become things. What you focus on, you attract. Your habits & people you surround yourself make you. Choose wisely.
I’ve been re-reading the book,The Vortex. Incredible life changing gems in this one. I’ll highlight a few:
— You can get to where you want to be from where ever you are — but you must stop spending so much time noticing & talking about what you do not like about where you are.
— Be a more selective sifter, and make a list of the positive things you are living & the qualities of people you love to surround yourself with.
— Look forward to where you want to be & spend no time complaining about where you are. The responsive Universe makes no distinction between the thoughts you think about your current reality & what you think as you dream of your improved life. You are creating by virtue of what you are thinking about.
— Your sense of who you really are pulses so powerfully within you that you must always continue to reach for satisfying relationships, because you understand, at very deep levels, the potential for joy contained in relationships with others.
— Once you decide that your happiness depends on the intentions, beliefs, or behaviors of no other, but only upon your own alignment — over which you have complete control — then your relationships will not only no longer be uncomfortable, but they will be deeply satisfying.
Now, put these gems 💎 in your front pocket & go out & LOVE somebody today, especially YOURSELF!
I could talk all day about the mistakes I’ve made throughout my fitness journey.
To name a few:
Feeling I had to earn food or use it as a reward
Yo-yo dieting & falling for fads, pills, & what Karen down the road was doing
Wearing restriction as a badge of honor then falling victim to self-loathing, disordered eating & exercise habits
Eating all the wrong foods for me physically and mentally causing paralyzing G.I. distress
Equating my worth with abs & a number displayed on a dirty box which sits on my bathroom floor
Losing weight doesn’t have to feel like a punishment, in fact that’s the one thing you must avoid.
Think about it, if you hate what you’re eating and how you’re training, do you think you’re going to stick to it?
— Heck no.
Losing weight is simple, but it’s not EASY. Ultimately it comes down to being in an energy deficit. (Taking in less energy than you are expending)
We over complicate the process. We set ourselves up for failure by chronically dieting, picking the wrong kinds of workouts, picking the wrong kinds of foods we cannot digest & absorb properly, we over stress, under eat, under educate ourselves, under execute, & over train.
Don’t even get me started on the negative self talk & shxtty mindset syndrome.
30 years ago (I’m almost 39 now😬) my fitness journey began. I was 8 years old. My heaviest weight was 160 lbs on a 5’1 frame.
Right now is actually the lowest weight (avg 107-110lbs) & best health I’ve ever been. And I’m eating at my true maintenance (calories around 2000-2200 daily). Maintenance is we all should be hanging out the majority of our lives.
I’ve made the same mistake as you have. We are all different as far as what foods & training work best for you.
Here are some examples of hacks that have helped me keep the weight off and I hope it helps you find the right tools for your toolbelt too!
Abstainer: cannot have just 1 cookie without then eating or wanting to eat the whole pan. Does better with food rules and a more “all or none approach.” More prone to binge eating.
Moderator: can have 1 cookie and be satisfied. Needs more flexibility.
Are you a food addict? Get real with yourself. I understand this stuff isn’t pretty.
What is your relationship with carbohydrates? Are they like drugs which trigger self sabotaging habits? How do they make you feel? Do you need them for your health & fitness goals for optimal health, performance, & recovery? What is your daily threshold that makes you feel your best?
2.) CHOOSE THE FOODS & TRAINING YOU LOVE AND HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH
For me, it’s animal based nutrition. Protein & healthy fats are the center of my meals. I do not have a good relationship with carbohydrates and have many emotional and physical trigger foods. I only consume carbohydrates when I need them for optimal health, performance, and recovery. I find eating carbohydrates makes me crave more carbohydrates & I’m not satiated as sticking with meat only.
I prefer CrossFit like training. I love the community, I love the variety, I love it combines strength and aerobic conditioning. It’s effective af & keeps me happy. Therefore it’s easy for me to stick to my routine.
3.) EAT & TRAIN INTENTIONALLY & MINDFULLY
The food you eat literally makes you. Choose accordingly. Slow down when you eat, enjoy every bite, chew thoroughly, eat till you’re 80% full. Same with your training. Pick a goal and stick with it. Keep your commitments to yourself. Work hard & rest when you need to and be intentional about both! Motivation is fleeting, your integrity & character are forever.
4.) SET YOUR NONNEGOTIABLES & FLEXIBILITY
Especially important when it comes to social functions & family. Set step goals. Mine are between 13-15k on average. Maybe you allow yourself 2 cocktails on the weekends, maybe it’s one untracked meal with family, maybe it’s 2 refeed days on the weekends, maybe it’s more carbohydrates one day a week, maybe it’s dessert a couple times a week, maybe you do better being strict for a couple weeks & taking a week off, maybe you prefer to take your own food when you go out. Anything goes, you are your own boss, but OWN IT.
5.) GRATITUDE AND CELEBRATE EVERY WIN
Y’all gratitude is everything. You can’t hate yourself healthy and love yourself healthy at the same time. Which one would you rather choose? Take progress pictures, the scale isn’t the only indicator of success. Maybe you’re eating for better energy and better biofeedback. Maybe you’re trying to get stronger. The number on the scale does not dictate your worth or achievement.
6.) MANAGE YOUR MINDSET & OWN YOUR DAY
You should have a success routine nailed down. I talked about 8 things you should do every day that will change your life, yesterday. Check out that post and blog. If you continuously tell yourself you are a failure & always fxck up, guess what? That’s what you’ll attract & become. Talk to yourself like your best friend. What would you say, what advice would you give her or him? Be the person you want to embody.
You can make moves or excuses. You either DO or your DON’T.
When you read this title, most think of someone spending hours in the gym. If you would’ve asked me years ago, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, I would’ve thought the same thing.
The one exercise you MUST do…
…exercise your mind.
It never would have occurred to me the power and influence of our minds. How our minds push our bodies to defy expectations, beliefs, and even our own biology. Call’em miracles?
So lets chat about two habits I cultivated that can also help you change your life. You can start right now. It’s easy, promise!
I knew when I was in the pit of ONE of my rock-bottoms, cuz ya gurlz had many, I had to start changing my beliefs & mindset.
⁃ My health was not good. ⁃ I was bloated & constipated all the time it seemed no matter what I ate. ⁃ I was putting on weight (FYI when you hoard negative emotional energy, that can be the actual culprit literally weighing you down). ⁃ My performance in the gym sucked. ⁃ I didn’t wanna wear anything but baggy clothes, thank God I wear scrubs to work. Which also translated into me wanting to hide all the time. Hermit mode engaged. ⁃ I was in debt, yet I couldn’t stop myself from overspending because I was putting a fxcking Band-Aid on a bullet hole — I was unhappy. You know it’s a problem when you order shxt from Amazon & you forget you ordered shit from Amazon.
I felt like this was just my story & I could never get ahead. I can’t tell you how valuable to was to invest in coaches to guide me along my way: business coach, nutrition coach, therapist, functional medicine docs, family docs. Don’t be afraid to invest, you’ll get more back in return. And if you need someone to talk to, tell me about your story here. We’ll hop the phone & get some answers for you.
Despite me doing all the physical exercise known to man (president of the ‘habitual over exercisers club’ right hurrrr), the one exercise I was not doing — exercising changing my mindset to rewrite my story.
Sound familiar?
So what did I do?
The two habits that changed my life forever — GRATITUDE every morning & cultivating my ENVIRONMENT (mental & physical) to RECEIVE ABUNDANCE & what I wanted.
I started listening to podcasts and YouTube‘s to people I inspired to be like.
Successful people. Positive people. Learning about things that would make me better as a coach and human and partner and friend and daughter and coworker, etc.
First thing in the morning I say at least three things I am grateful for and something I love about myself.
Second thing, I check my podcasts and YouTube‘s to see what I wanna listen to today.
BONUSES…let me give you a couple more.
I detoxed my social media and unfollowed anything and anyone that made me feel negative energy or the need to compare & mourn past versions of my body (it only fuels disordered eating and body image.)
I also detoxed the people in my life. Yes, I understand this is a hard one especially when it comes down to friends and family. But it is absolutely necessary. Stop ignoring that nagging feeling that keeps telling you you don’t need to be around that friend or that person you keep dating but they treat you like yesterday’s trash.
Trash creates more trash. You attract the energy and vibe you put out.
When you fall in love with who you are, under any circumstance, you awaken the love you need within you and you naturally attract and experience more love and success in your life.
This is a lot easier to do when you cultivate a nourishing environment for you to grow into your fullest potential.
Some of my favorite podcasts, social media, & YouTubes:
5 AM on a Sunday. No make up, no hair extensions, just takin an easy walk before work because it makes me feel good.
I’ve taken two rest days this weekend, much needed. This was also my weekend to work, perfect timing.
I’d be lying to say that I actually like to take rest days. I don’t. I thoroughly enjoy getting in a challenging work out.
Like I preach before sometimes you gotta do the things that you don’t wanna do because that’s what you really need not what you want.
Just wanted to share with you guys some changes & goals I’ve set for this new year. They’re commitments I’m keeping to myself.
For example, in the past, if I couldn’t go to the gym & get in a hard work out, I’d be pissed & just wouldn’t work out at all. Basically I’d pout.
I know walking makes me happy so now I commit to do just that — walk. Today I walked a mile, nice & easy, & watched Sex & the City reruns. It’s one of those shows I never get sick of — like Grey’s Anatomy & One Tree Hill.
Anyone else love those shows?
2021 Commitments to Myself:
— Live a life of minimalism. Purge all old & unnecessary things. I feel free the less material items I have. Keep only what I love. Anything that conjures up a negative memory or old energy I get rid of.
— If I buy something new, I get rid of something. Every single day I get rid of at least 1 item & put it in this huge basket that sits in my hallway. I call it the Giving Basket. (I named him Greg btw. I name all my favorite items & plants. I believe everything has energy, spirit, & presence.) I donate these items to others in need.
— I will not buy things on the clearance rack because I feel I’m not worthy of a more valuable item. This is me honoring my worth. If I really want something I will INVEST & believe it will bring positive energy & abundance into my life. Money is just energy. You have to learn to love it & have a beautiful relationship with it just like any other. It deserves respect, money is freedom. That means saving wisely as well.
— Unsubscribe from emails & unnecessary expenses that don’t bring value to my life. This means unsubscribing from toxicity in life too — Friends, habits, social media, etc. It’s just clutter.
— Save at least $100 every 2 weeks for an emergency fund. This go straight into my savings. Pay off all unnecessary debt ✅. Not utilize credit cards unless I can pay them off in full.
— Build my wealth, not just in a monetary context, but all the riches of life & love, & give freely. Make someone smile every single day. Give compliments. Tip well. Gratitude every morning & anytime I feel worry or a negative thought, replace & state something I’m grateful for.
— BE SOMEBODY WHO MAKES EVERYONE FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY
I love a glass of Prosecco, laughs, & good conversation.
Sometimes that’s all a girl needs.
I’m an introvert by true nature. Used to feel guilty for it. I recharge in my aloneness, however.
As this fine wine has aged, I find so much peace in being alone. Having a small circle of friends. And I find myself realizing, finally, I am my own best friend.
Being alone used to be a fear for me. I can’t think of a more pressingly painful feeling that cuts deeper than falling into the bottomless pit of loneliness.
Heartbreak is a close second.
My girlfriends & I talked about how as you age you become more comfortable knowing what you want and what you don’t and having no remorse for your feelings, thoughts, needs, & behaviors.
I am so grateful for the shit & numbing I’ve had to wade through to get to this point.
Here is the tricky part about the art of numbing: There is only so long a person can survive off Band-Aids. At some point, you’re going to have to treat the infection — even if it means having to feel the burn when the painkillers start to wear off. The breakdown.
That’s the beauty of the breakdown. When you hit a rock bottom, you’re forced to make a choice. You either die, or you deal with it.
I talked this morning about how the relationship with yourself dictates all of the relationships with everyone else in your life.
In learning to be my own best friend, I found the remedy for loneliness & stillness & mundane. I hope these words can help you.
I encourage you to take the time to get to know yourself. Don’t be afraid to confront all the feels. Don’t apologize for your wants and needs and all the weird shit that makes you, you. Some days even if I really like you I just flat don’t feel like talking to people. And I don’t apologize for that anymore.
No matter how hard or how amazing or how confusing or wonderful or wild life is, you will never be truly alone if you harvest a loving relationship with yourself.
You are the most precious person in the world.
I think I’m funny as hell, I laugh at myself all the time, I have complete conversations with myself.
I sat my plant children out on the patio this morning before CrossFit & work for some sun & fresh air. I feel they’re happier when they get some time out.
I named them all. This is one of my new ones, her name is Maggie.
It takes some time setting them all out & gets my patio messy. But they’re worth it. They make me happy when I see them when I come home. Like Pete 🐈, he runs to the door when I get there. Even though he eats all my succulents & opens cabinets & drawers — making a mess.
Your message is in your mess.
Healing is messy. Life is messy. There’s not a template for it.
Some hard things I’ve learned are first loves or fierce loves don’t always mean the best loves. Stable, loyal loves are timeless. And sometimes the relationship we need to work on for another is the one with yourself.
Best friends don’t always mean friends forever.
Money is energy & like a relationship too. It deserves to be appreciated, honored, & used for good. It comes & goes like everything else in life.
One thing they all mean no matter what the outcome, however, is someone at sometime — cared. And that’s worth it.
I have good & not so good days. I have days I feel like a rock star & other days I feel like an a$$hat.
Some days I reminisce on what I could’ve done differently to change the outcomes & other days I feel like I’m living my best life.
I have moments of heart break — a mistake you made you wish you could change, hearing a song that pours salt in a wound, a scent that brings back a certain place in time, the sight of a picture, the feel of an old sweatshirt or shirt that makes you smile & cry in both appreciation & mourning of a relationship or memory.
Through it all remember that you’re human. And you’re messy.
Feel the feels.
Take the time you need to begin again.
And thank God for things you prayed for that you didn’t get. You wouldn’t be the person you are today.
I was asked yesterday by a follower 2 great questions: 1.) What was the best part of my day? & 2.) How I knew I was the #avoidant type & how I was learning to heal myself so I could be a good partner because she was struggling.
Girrrrrrrl sit down 😆🪑
If only a CT scan could tell me what I needed to do to fix this brain🧠
So…
1.) Best part of my day: getting to FaceTime with @_rottier_ 🇺🇸👉🏻🇯🇵
2.) This is gonna be long. You’ve been warned. But I don’t wanna leave anything out. I’m going to repost these on my blog site (link in bio) so they’re easier to read.
I don’t think it was until this year I realized MY FAULTS in pushing people away that were trying really hard to love me.
I viewed it as being smothered. A breach of my boundaries. I’m an introvert by nature & value my privacy & alone time.
There were definite differences, but a lot of it was just them wanting to be a part of my life & I was allowing myself to feel overwhelm, detachment, & fear of getting too “close” & having my heart broken.
I don’t like depending on people or showing weakness.
When I finally started doing the inner work to attract the right kind of partner & life I wanted, I got what I asked for.
However, the Universe has a funny way of testing you to see where you’re weak & still need work.
Things I learned thru therapy:
➡️The avoidant attachment type shows up as independent & self reliant.
➡️They guard themselves when people get close, safety is not found in other people.
➡️They emotionally distance.
➡️Non committal, they feel overwhelmed & uneasy about healthy stable love.
➡️Difficulty trusting others & asking for help.
➡️Think too much & subconsciously sabotage relationships.
➡️Females tend to be more “masculine” in nature (Tom boy, strong independent, “rough around the edges”)
It was suggested to me to trial dating apps to sort thru emotions about a relationship. To help gain clarity on my true wants & needs.
They said if it feels icky or heavy or misaligned — um it is. 😆 And that’s exactly what I felt. Ew.
I had no desire for the riff raff. Those were quickly disposed & deleted.
List to your gut. It’s never wrong.
Tips given to me for my avoidant attachment style:⠀
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1. Allow others to do some things you would normally do yourself. Makes me uncomfortable af. But I’m learning it’s okay to rely on people.
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2. Slow down when experiencing overwhelm & stress. If you need a break, communicate it. Don’t hold it in until it becomes resentment.
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3.) Get real with yourself. Feel the feels & note how you want to FEEL in a relationship.
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4. Work on setting boundaries before reaching the point of pushing people away & emotionally distancing.
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5.) Work on identifying & communicating your thoughts & feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry. Learn to be more vulnerable in SAFE relationships.
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6.) Look for the positive qualities in yourself, others & your relationships. Remember that thing about thoughts become things & the grass is greener where you water it?
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7.) If you’re about to become “runaway bride” & wanna run or GTFO — time out. Make a pros & cons list. Consider the potential benefits of staying. Make sure it’s in alignment with you.
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8.) When you’re taking time to yourself, communicate more effectively & show appreciation for the other. Example: “I need space for myself so I can be my best self for you. I appreciate your patience & I care.”
I feel the moment you get to the place where you feel at peace & at home with yourself is the moment before the relationship you always wanted shows up in your life.
It can a new one or maybe a new & improved one.
For me the healing of relationships & the world is always the healing of ourselves.
