Reflections and life feels lately

When Cardi B said, “I gave you more than I gave myself. So loyal to you that I betrayed myself.” I felt that…⁣

Deep shiz reflections & life feels lately

I’m in such a wonderful place in life. I give gratitude every day for this privilege. This growth. I prayed for it. 

How many times have you betrayed yourself because you were giving more to other people or your personal issues & limiting beliefs?

I understand how changing myself to please others or validation attracted all the wrong things that I needed to figure out all the right things. I know if I can’t be my raw, authentic, no filter, little weirdo self around someone it’s not meant for me.

Maybe it’s disordered eating

Maybe it’s that toxic relationship

Maybe it’s that job you hate

Maybe it’s drinking too much

Maybe it’s negative self talk

Maybe it’s stagnation & fear

Maybe it’s a scarcity mindset

Maybe it’s as simple as too much coffee🙋🏼‍♀️⁣ (I’m trying 😆)

I’ve been in an abusive, obsessive relationship with all of these at one time or another in my 41 years.

What helped me? Journaling & getting real. Falling on my face. Failing. Spending time alone. Finally getting a place of my own that I LOVE. Stepping into my worth. Focusing on being the person that I would like to be with. ⁣

Knowing I don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy or more worthy. But knowing I’d really like to find a special someone to live life with that looks at me the same way I look at them.

Look for beautiful people & places that quiet your soul. Not just beautiful people & places.

I love my family & small circle.

We may not like or see each other every day but I’m grateful to know that I have a forever home to go to whenever I want & that’s wherever my people are. It’s wherever I am.

When we show up fully & completely as ourselves, content with where we’re at, being fully present & conscious in the moment, listening attentively, showing love & respect, practicing gratitude — we attract more love, positivity, & abundance into our lives & expand those feelings to others. 

It took me a long time to learn that what society deems as “beautiful” people & places are common.

Hell, nowadays all you need is a good filter & just the right angle. You can’t build anything with beauty alone.

I prefer the REAL good stuff. The stuff that stings a lil bit. The ones with scars that tell a story. The places with history & character.

I had a client tell me she just wanted to be told she was beautiful. I teared up, I understood exactly how she felt.

I explained to her the difference between a beautiful person & person who was simply beautiful. 

Yeah, it’s nice to be told you’re beautiful or hot or whatever, but I’d much rather hear someone say that I made things easier.

That they’re happy because I exist.

That I’m strong, & smart, & able.

That their life is better with me in it.

That they’re proud of me.

That they value what I bring to the table.

Be a person who is complimented on more than just appearance.

Love is in the depth & details❤️

Happy Friyay friends!

Oxox Coach K

What are your life reflections today? 

If you needed permission, here it is

Sometimes in life you get a lil thirsty… ☕️ 

Thirsty for body goals

Thirsty for professional goals, relationship goals, self healing goals

Thirsty for freedom & adventure

Thirsty for peace

Thirsty for ambition

Thirsty for love

Thirsty for clarity

— Thirsty for all kinds of things & I don’t want any of you to apologize for your needs, wants, successes, &/or “failures.”

I spent so many decades feeling shame for not living up to other peoples expectations, timelines, & living a life that wasn’t authentic to my story. 

Do you know that’s one of the biggest regrets of the dying? – Not living a life authentic to you.

Guess what? 

My life is a BIG beautiful cocktail of chaos & joy. 🥃

It is never boring. 😉

I wanted to remind you guys today you don’t need to apologize or explain your life to anyone.

You don’t need to people please.

You don’t need to disclose everything if you don’t want to.

You don’t need to let that nagging pit of shame  we all get we think we’re wrong or we’re not doing what is expected of us or we’re ebarrassed we changed our minds or we think we “failed” — whatever — control your thoughts 

& actions

& belief about yourself.

Let your hair down & live a little, ya know?!

One of the biggest lessons I learned in my 20s & early 30s was that I didn’t have to EARN food, anyone’s approval other than my own, & that enjoying the present moment was more precious than waiting to lean into life waiting for the some days when…

when I’d lost weight

when I earned more money

when I was “pretty” enough

when I had achieved more

when I had the perfect relationship

We all deserve to write our own dxmn story, to eat the diet that helps us thrive, to choose movement & workouts our bodies & minds love, to choose the people we love, to give into our wildest dreams, spontaneity, sink into our routines, & fxck up. 

You’re gonna fxck up a lot. — ENJOY life!

There’s your permission.

Cheers y’all!

Happy Monday

Stay Thirsty 😉 

What being the good girl got me

Who else here is a recovering obliger? A recovering ‘Good Girl or Guy?’🙋‍♀️

Like it didn’t matter what context of life I was obliging, I wanted to oblige because I wanted to be ‘The Good Girl.’ 

‘Good Girls’ were accepted & safe. They did what was expected of them.

‘Nice’ was accepted & safe. If you’re ’Nice’ then everyone has to like you, right?!

‘Vanilla’ was accepted & safe. It’s like the default choice because you can’t make up your mind what ice cream you want.

The problem I later found as I aged, was ‘Good’ & ‘Nice’ & ‘Vanilla’ really didn’t get me anywhere.

In fact, I loathe the words ‘Good,’ ‘Nice,’ & ‘Vanilla.’

I don’t care if you’re talkin about food, sex, or money, Honey, if you’re describing them as good, nice, or vanilla — I ain’t interested anymore.

I feel they’re the default, you choosing to settle. It’s like being someone’s side chick or guy. You want someone to see you as ‘The One’ — the one that walks in a room & sparkles. Everyone stares. But instead, you were chosen as the default, not ‘The One.’ 

I feel everyone has had the same experience at some point in their lives, whether it was a friendship, a romantic relationship, or professionally. 

My definition of ‘Good Girlitis’ is the unproductive thoughts, feelings, & behaviors that inhibit one’s potential, growth, perception, & enjoyment of the experience & entirety of life.

So think about this if you feel you’re livin life like a watered down cocktail. Are you living as a watered down version of yourself?

I want exquisite, extraordinary, luscious.

Rolls off the tongue a lil sweeter don’t it? 😉 

I’d rather be the human that doesn’t do rules, I do what feels right✨

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto Can’t wait to do another one of these!