Tag: Self Healing

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8 Mind-Bending Quotes That Changed It All For Me… 

I stumbled upon an Albert Einstein quote one morning that said: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

Ooof. Mind blowing 🤯 

I thought about how that statement applied to many pages in my storybook life — to college at Purdue University, to Radiology School, to relationships, my finances, to most importantly, MYSELF. MY self awareness (or lack of). The understanding of ME.

“You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you” — Wayne Dyer

It took me years to learn to respect myself, including giving myself Grace. When people treated me poorly, I was convinced I was to blame or that I somehow deserved it.

Kids made fun of weight, the way I looked, my “poor farmer’s kid clothes.” Boyfriends cheated on me, lied to me, abused me.

When I finally developed enough robustness & self-esteem to honor my boundaries, I was amazed at how much better others treated me.

“Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself” – Mark Manson

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it — it just blooms” — Sensei Ogui

The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is with the person you were yesterday.

“The only zen you’ll find on mountaintops is the zen you bring up there with you” — Alan Watts

In other words, you’ll never find peace unless it’s within. The same goes for love. The same goes for fulfillment, health, self expression.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without” — Buddha

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for” – Epicurus

In a world that’s constantly seeking more — more results, more performance, more money, more social proof — this immediately brings me into a state of appreciation and gratitude.

When I’m longing for something more than what I have right now I’m living in some imaginary future and I’m missing everything in the here and now. I feel this way about dating apps (& boredom scrolling on social in general) currently. I deleted dating apps & significantly reduced me social time, using it only with intention in time blocks. I feel apps & boredom scrolling steals my presence & blinds me to the wonderful people & opportunities in front of me.

“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being” — Eckhart Tolle

“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence” — Jiddu Krishnamurti

When we can observe reality without judging or labelling people & things as good or bad, we can think and respond more appropriately. This is a form of wisdom & mastery.

Everything is simply an experience. We attach a label to the meaning of the experience. Only when I learned how to live untethered & to flow like water, did I learn how to truly live a peaceful life.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” — Viktor E. Frankl

“If you can’t get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you can’t create a new future where those things don’t exist” — Dr. Joe Dispenza

He then went on to add:

“If you were looking at a timeline of your day, starting with waking up in the morning and continuing until you go to bed that night, you could pick up that timeline of yesterday or today (your past) and place it in the space reserved for tomorrow (the future) because essentially the same actions you took today are the ones you are going to take tomorrow — and the day after that, and the day after that.

Let’s face it: If you keep the same routine as yesterday, it makes sense that your tomorrow is going to be a lot like your yesterday. Your future is just a rerun of your past. That’s because your yesterday is creating your tomorrow.”

“You are an infinite spiritual being having a temporary human experience” — Wayne Dyer

I know now when my human body fades and dies, my spirit will live on. Not because it’s “mine” but because “My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.” — Jim Carrey

And that’s eternal.

“Love is what we are; Fear is what we learn”

It doesn’t matter how far we stray down the wrong path then because there will always be an intelligence that brings us back into our hearts. So, rest easy. Because “We’re all just walking each other home.” — Ram Dass

Love you all❤️

oxox

Coach K

Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life too with me!

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I’ve always felt there was something magical about sunrises

I’ve always felt there was something magical about sunrises. I stood there sipping on my cup of coffee watching the orange & pinks move up thru the clouds.

With every breath I take the sky transforms just a little bit more colorful. It’s as if I was watching a movie. But it’s the movie called “real life”.

I’m rounding out the last week of my current 13 week travel assignment in Lynchburg, Virginia. I’ve been blessed to have been offered an extension here till mid January, which I accepted. The Blue Ridge Mountains have been cleansing, enlightening, & provided nourishing beauty & solitude.

I’ve traveled more than ever the past year, personally & professionally. I’ve learned I never get the opportunity to experience present moments again. Ever. This moment, if not lived, is gone. Forever. And that is now how I approach life at 42 years old.

And so I sit. Watching & marveling. I feel at ease. Filled with joy. Happiness. Gratitude. Yes, sweet peace & gratitude. And I think back on all the sunrises & sunsets where I am sure I was smiling even though nobody was watching me.

I try my best to sip & savor every luscious drop of life I can. I call myself an “experience collector,” unapologetically here to receive all the moments of loving. 💕😉 

(Side note for my newbies, WELCOME BTW🫶, I’m a travel radiographer💀. Its easier just to say #travelnurse because most people relate & understand what that means 😆🚑🏥)


Every sunrise begins with new eyes. The night can never defeat the sunrise. I’ve always been a “morning person.” 🌅 🦅 🐦‍🔥

A Sunrise – you can watch it, you can breathe it, you hear it, you can touch it, you can taste it, you can FEEL it. Every sunrise holds more promise, & every sunset holds more peace…

Have you ever woken up early to watch the sun greet you & bring a new morning?

Creatives of all shades (writers, painters, musicians, artists, in general) have always brought sunrises into their work, dazzled by their magnetism & power. Like a Muse.

Can you still remember the last time you were hypnotized by the smell of that first day of Spring or fall early in the morning?

Sunrises bring fresh new starts. Whether it’s rainy or sunny, dawn – or the first light of day – is a synonym for genesis.

Have you ever fallen asleep in the warm blanketing rays? Felt the magic & colors at the first rays? 

Unforgettable right?! They’re experiences that add dimension to your recharge & rest — your essence & your BEing

This time of watching the sun rise above the horizon is something I will remember & fill another page of my storybook of life.

“The secret to a good morning is to watch the sunrise with an open heart.” — Anthony T. Hincks

Let the sunshine ignite & deliciously paint your soul today with whatever colors you need. ☀️ 🎨 🖍️

Enjoy a bit of my morning & thoughts that hopefully will shed some light on a new perspective this week☀️🫶

Oxox 

Coach “Sip & Savor” K

Like blogs like this one? Bio + Newsletter + Free resources & more here ❤️

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Life Edit: How I Stopped Eating and Drinking Too Much in 5 Simple Steps

people drinking at a bar

When I was in my 20’s & early 30’s, I used to drink A LOT on the weekends.

Every Friday and Saturday night, my friends and I would head to a local bar. We’d start with a few beers or cocktails, have dinner, and then head out for the second half of the night, often drinking until 3 a.m. Finally, after 12 hours of overindulging, I’d pass out in my bed until noon the next day. I’d wake up to the bad decisions still lingering from the night before.


I’m embarrassed to say this behavior went on for years. I was, by some definitions, an alcoholic. And eventually my binge drinking ended me in the hospital, on a vent with a blood alcohol level of .346. I’m lucky I survived.

I had terrible side effects: I hated my unfulfilling life, had anxiety attacks, binge eating, gut symptoms, my Crohn’s disease was out of control, relationships in the shitter, & over 50k in debt.


I share this story as a cautionary tale, but I’m not here to say that you should never drink alcohol. I still drink occasionally, but I use it now with respect to enhance and savor an experience. I no longer drink to get drunk. I rarely have more than one drink or a few savory sips.


If you’ve recognized that you drink too much &/or binge eat, then it’s time to implement a life edit & the system that worked for me when I was cutting back.

Love this blog! Wonderful tips on how to do a life edit!


This system uses five simple steps that anyone can follow, and over time, builds habits that dramatically reduce your dependency on alcohol and junk food.


Step 1: Spend Time with the Right People (Your environment is everything!)
This lesson comes straight from entrepreneur, author, and speaker Jim Rohn. Here’s the gist: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If you spend your time with people who are getting drunk all the time & eating shit food, then guess what you’re going to do?


Think about it—do you really think you’re going to have superhuman willpower and be able to stop at one drink or eat healthy when all of your friends are grabbing a second, third, and fourth and smashing pizza and nachos all night?


On the other hand, if you spend your time with people that drink less, they eat well & exercise often—then you’ll soon have control over your poor habits.
Pick your friends wisely.


Step 2: Slow Down
It’s easy to say you’re going to stick to just one drink or eat a healthy, protein based meal when meeting a friend after work in the right atmosphere. But when the bar is buzzing and you’re starting to loosen, slowing down just isn’t going to happen. The next thing you know, you’ve downed that first beer or cocktail in record time and you’re ready for a second & a huge plate of loaded fries because you’ve numbed you’re decision thinking.


Here’s how you get over the “suck it down vs savor” urge: Order a drink that doesn’t go down so easily. Mine is vodka water. Even better, order a shot and a water then mix your own. That way you are in charge of the alcohol content you consume.


Once upon a time, I used to love drinking margaritas, malibu & coke, & anything sweet! The trouble was, they were sweet and I have a strong sweet-tooth & poor relationship with carbs and sugar. They’re triggers to binge eating (& bulimia), over indulging, gut issues, & me feeling like crap. It’s no surprise that those drinks went down fast and easy.

These days, I order bourbon, a glass of vodka & water on the rocks or maybe tequila & water on the rocks. If I want flavor, I add electrolytes (Ultima Replenisher or LMNT) to my water. The flavor is powerful—and remarkably un-sweet—so I sip it instead of down it. As a result, I don’t drink more than I should.


Success requires removing obstacles, leading yourself out of temptation, and getting accountability to stick to your goals. With these in place, you’ll soon kick the booze & junk food to the curb and start enjoying more nourishing, higher performance days—moving you closer to your big goals and dreams.


Step 3: One Drink of Alcohol + One Glass of Water. Stick to Protein at Meals.
This one seems obvious, but so many people forget to drink water while they’re enjoying alcohol. It’s critical to keep yourself hydrated—not only to prevent hangovers the next morning, but also for slowing down your intake. Every time you finish a cocktail, beer, or glass of wine, make sure to take a pause from the booze and down a glass of water.

Keep your meals to a lean protein source like chicken breast, lean beef, pork, or seafood. You’ll be more satiated & less likely to overindulge. Grilled chicken is my go to.


Step 4: Ask Yourself These 2 Questions Before Eating
2 things changed my relationship with food. They allowed me to beat binge eating & lose 60 pounds while healing my gut👇

1️⃣Before I ate, I asked myself, “How does this food make me feel?”
⁃ Does it help or hinder?
⁃ Do I feel energized & satisfied? Bloated & tired?
⁃ Am I still enjoying my meal? No? Time to stop eating. Yes? Ok, I’ll eat a little more.
⁃ Does it make my gut feel happy & healthy? Or inflamed & painful?
⁃ Does it support me physiologically, aesthetically, & mentally?

2️⃣I asked myself, “As fuel, what am I using this food for?”
⁃ To fuel a workout? A meeting? Playing with your kids? A walk?
⁃ Am I truly physiologically hungry or am I bored & this just a craving?
⁃ Am I numbing a difficult emotion with this food?

The food, environment, habits, & information you consume each day are the soil from which your future thoughts, body, & reality are grown! Many of the best things in life grow along the way by simply having better awareness, understanding, & then once you know better, you CHOOSE BETTER!

  • Start hanging out with high value people & success & love grows along the way.
  • Start exercising & eating well & motivation + results grow along the way.
  • Start writing, therapy, spending time alone & aligned inspiration grows along the way.

Start now & watch the feelings & results follow!


Step 5: Schedule Something for the Next Morning
Let’s say you’re planning on heading to the bars on Friday night. Set up a workout, an appointment or meeting for Saturday morning. Knowing that you have that appointment—and that you have to be ready for it—will keep you from going overboard at the bars. (I often recommend setting up a physical activity. Your body will hate you if you try to do it while nursing a hangover, so you’ll quickly learn not to overindulge.)

These five steps can help you cut back on alcohol & binge eating and regain control so that you can focus on the more important things in life.


For example, cutting back on my drinking allowed me to tackle my gut issues, have better sleep, higher energy, more mental clarity, more money, and more freedom to focus on my life’s work – serving ya’ll!


Success requires removing obstacles, leading yourself out of temptation, and getting accountability to stick to your goals. With these in place, you’ll soon kick less optimal habits to the curb and moving you closer to your big goals and dreams.

When you’re ready to move from distractions like alcohol to the tools and routines that build your dream body and life, I urge you to check out resources that helped me + a Blog Guide I created just for you documenting how I lost 60lbs, healed my gut, & beat binge eating:

Atomic Habits by James Clear
Perfect Day Formula by Craig Ballantyne
My Story & Weight Loss Journey Transitioning to a Meat-Based, Carnivore Diet & Losing 60lbs!

Thousands have used the insights from these sources—all gathered over decades of experience. Take your life to the next level!

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LIES told by your food addiction. My story.

sad girl eating disorder food addiction scale

It can take decades to unlearn. My relationship with disordered eating & poor body image started when I was just 8. 

I spent the majority of my childhood & early adulthood overweight & unhealthy. I was told in middle school by a teacher I was too big to be a cheerleader. Kids were cruel, calling me names like lambchop because I had big 80’s hair & even thicker thighs.

My disorder began with overeating & then restricting to punish myself. I’d try to skip breakfast & barely eat lunch (which I’d “allow” myself sugar free jello, a small travel size cottage cheese & 5 Ritz crackers).

My stomach would growl. I remember being embarrassed if the classroom was quiet enough for others to hear. Inevitably, I’d return home in the afternoon absolutely ravenous & binge on cookies, candy, cereal, chips, & junk food.

These episodes got more & more out of control. I continued eating less during the day, binging at night & sometimes I’d take cold medicine to make me sleep to keep from eating.

Years passed, & my eating habits fluctuated. I had never even considered throwing up until I saw a Lifetime movie about a girl who had bulimia. The process seemed easy. Eat whatever you want, throw up. The first time I purged was in middle school after eating a tub of ice cream. 

Bulimia became a sort of coping mechanism for me. I told myself my obsession with diets & exercise were normal. It was about control. I was dealing with a lot of stress: school, college, later on, relationships, a failed marriage on top of debt & drinking too much.

There were lots of things in my life I felt I wasn’t able to manage. I’d binge & get a rush. Then I’d get an even bigger, better rush after getting rid of it all.

Takeaway: Don’t make my mistakes.
If you’re dealing with an eating disorder or disordered eating & exercise habits, I encourage you to seek help.

Life is more than choosing to shrink yourself as a hobby. Eating disorders like bulimia are often not just about losing weight. They also revolve around issues of control or negative thoughts, like having a poor self-image.

The first step is admitting that you have a problem & you WANT to break the cycle. Don’t make my mistake & fill your memory book with reminders of your eating disorder instead of the truly important moments in your life!

Adopting a carnivore, meat-based way of eating saved my life. It allowed me to lose 60 lbs over my lifetime, put my Crohn’s Disease in med-free remission, & cure my binge eating! Will be forever grateful for the decades of learning and the food freedom this lifestyle has given me! Here’s how I healed and lost the weight!

weight loss before and after katie kelly carnivore

Lies told by your food addiction.

  • LIES told by your food addiction triggering disordered habits

I can’t abuse food & exercise. I’m fine.

Receptors in our gut respond to certain foods we consume by triggering release of dopamine in our brain. Exercise & social media can do the same thing. One of the hallmarks of any addiction is tolerance: progressively needing more & more of a certain substance to get the same effect. When the brain’s reward system is repeatedly flooded with dopamine, it responds by reducing the receptors as a protective mechanism. And as with drugs, people who are addicted to food often binge in order to get the same dopamine rush. The more sugar, alcohol, carbs, fat, & salt (for examples) the greater release of dopamine & “reward” we experience. Dopamine-enforced sensory cues mean we are motivated to have the substance again just by the sight, smell, & sounds of a food (like bacon cooking) or an endorphin high after working out.

I don’t have a problem. I’ll just have 1.

Addiction & recovery don’t discriminate. Most of us that have an emotional trigger to sugar, carbs, & hyperpalatable foods like dairy, cheese, bacon, keto/sugar free treats, ribeyes, ribs, nut butters, etc are abstainers when it comes to food. Abstainers usually have an all-or-nothing mentality. It’s far easier for abstainers to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. Trying to moderate becomes an internal struggle & justification of actions like: Should I? How much? Can I stop? I’m a failure! Small portions intensify cravings & lead to wanting more. Avoidance of food helps cravings pass. We do better with food rules, meal plans, tracking food/macros, fasting windows, & meat based diets. avoiding trigger foods like carbs & sweets.

This is the last binge. Diet starts tomorrow.

Habits, habits, habits. Our habits make US. The issue with food vs drug addiction is we HAVE to eat. We cannot live without food, it is literally life fuel & what we’re made from. We often use it as a reward or punishment. When you chronically restrict, then binge over & over again, it becomes a cycle we deem as “normal” (as f*cked up as it is we justify it). We also physiologically cause imbalance & lose the ability to sense true hunger cues & satiety, making over eating & binging more prevalent. This happens by throwing off our hunger & satiety hormones, leptin & ghrelin. The more we participate in these behaviors, the more our brain is wired to believe they’re accepted & normal. Ima be blunt when it comes to sugar & carbs, the more you eat, the more you crave them & harder it is to stop the cycle.

I’ll stop once I reach my goal weight.

“You’re just not trying hard enough!” Sound familiar? I remember telling myself I “just didn’t want it bad enough.” Once I was skinny all my problems would go away & I’d be happy. Guess what? They didn’t & I still wasn’t happy even when I reached my “goal weight.” I still had an addiction to food & exercise, I still binged, & my health was worse. I gained weight back because it wasn’t sustainable, physiologically trashed my hormones, gut health, & metabolism. I ignored the poor relationships I had with myself, food, & exercise. Have you ever told yourself you, “Didn’t deserve to eat & needed to workout more!?” Let’s try harder to love ourselves & seek help over restriction & self loathing. I promise you’ll get a lot further & life will suck a whole lot less.

I’m just health conscious. I’m not obsessed.

NO. This is called Orthorexia & leads to you chronically yo-yo dieting, exercise hopping, over training, pissed off & life sucking all the time. Orthorexia nervosa is perhaps best summarized as an obsession with healthy eating with associated restrictive behaviors. However, the extreme attempt to attain optimum health through attention to diet may lead to malnourishment, loss of relationships, & poor quality of life. Basically, this is you making shrinking your body your biggest hobby & priority in life. It gives you food anxiety, social anxiety, & you lose yourself. You compare to everyone, often get lost in all the information, & are confused af all the time. Hire a coach or practitioner to help guide you. More does not always mean better results when it comes to over exercising & restricting food.

The weight on the scale doesn’t trigger me.

Ever wake up & feel great only to step on the scale & see you gained 3lbs & instantly you hate yourself & the whole day turns into a dumpster fire? You look in the mirror & tell yourself you’re “fat” & only eating bread & water or whatever specific diet food all week simply because you base your worth on your appearance & number on the scale. Fat is not an emotion. You most likely are FEELING: stressed, sad, anxious, vulnerable, angry, ashamed, jealous, alone, etc. These feelings are often triggers for continual emotional eating &/or exercise abuse if you use food & exercise as numbing & coping mechanisms. Complete this statement: “_____ happened & triggered me. I am not “fat” & do not need to punish myself. I am actually feeling ______ & choose to do _____ instead.”

Orthorexia Warning Signs

  • Compulsive checking of nutritional labels & obsession about the “health” of ingredients & specific foods.
  • Obsession with steps, fit trackers, & calories burned.
  • Feeling compelled to exercise to compensate for what you ate, when you’re ill/injured, sacrificing your mental health/work/social life to burn off calories & workout.
  • Refusing to eat anything but foods that are deemed ‘healthy’ or ‘clean’.
  • Unusual interest in the health of what others are eating, fitness goals, & exercise routines.
  • Food consuming your every thought & feeling guilty if you didn’t workout or “ate the wrong things.”
  • Showing high levels of distress & anxiety when ‘safe’ or ‘healthy’ foods aren’t available or you’re presented with social situations.
  • Obsessive following of food and ‘healthy lifestyle’ blogs on social media.
  • Body image issues such as body dysmorphia.

Watch your words. Common phrases that encourage disordered eating & exercise habits:

  • “Diet starts tomorrow, or Monday, or January 1.”
  • “I deserve a ‘cheat meal’ or ‘treat’ because I’ve been, ‘good’ all week.”
  • “I already messed up my diet, might as well splurge & start again tomorrow or Monday or January 1.”
  • “If I eat that I’ll need to make sure I workout enough to burn it all off.”
  • “I’ll be happy when I reach my goal weight.”
  • “I don’t deserve to eat that.”
  • “I can’t do that until I lose the weight.”
  • “You just don’t want it hard enough.”
  • “It’s fine, we’ll work it off in the gym tomorrow.”
  • “Whatever, calories don’t count today.”
  • “I already messed up, might as well make a whole day/week/month out of it.”
  • “Ugh, look at everything I ate. I’m so fat.”

Final Thoughts

When you are scrolling thru pictures on social media, remember your worth lies in your essence & your heart. You’re amazing for the sum of everything that you are. What you look like is the least most interesting, magnificent thing about you. What is: Your intelligence. Your kindness. Your relationships. Your smile. Your wrinkles. Your impact. Do not let comparing pictures & the constant pressure to shrink yourself believe that you aren’t enough & you need to be more. Go build your life & embody your big beautiful world. Self-love is an important part of a happy life. When we love ourselves, it becomes easy to go through life. There’s no judgment, fear, or low self-esteem, & instead, there’s immense gratitude & compassion towards our own selves.

The best thing is that self-love helps us have healthier relationships with the people in our lives. It’s a true win-win situation!

Oxox
Coach K

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Now that I’m over 40 — I would love to have coffee with my 21 year old self

♡𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨… Now that I’m over 40 — I would love to have coffee with my 21 year old self.

It’s the perfect paradox. I wish I could share the wisdom I have now with my younger self, yet that wisdom came from all the f*ck ups I made😂 🤷🏼‍♀️ So, without the mistakes, I’m not sure I’d have anything important to say to that younger version of myself.

Purdue University. #boilerup I remember nights out in college with my Delta Gamma sorority sisters & Block & Bridle Club aggies. (I graduated with a Bachelors in Animal Science from the school of Ag btw. Fun fact 😉 🎓).

Thirsty Thursday’s with Bruce the Piano Man at the Neon Cactus. Those huge cups, cheap drinks, & priceless memories were epic. (Minus the waking up hungover af the next day after smashing Mad Mushroom 🍄 🍕 pizza & cheese sticks 🙈🫣🫥🤭)

I’d implore her to laugh like that more & worry less. As women, maybe wives, moms, friends, daughters, etc we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to orchestrate & capture magical moments for our loved ones, for others.

I wish I could tell that 21 year old version of myself that the magic will happen without the pressure of a perfect social media shot & Pinterest board. Sure, snap a few pictures, but don’t let the pressure of trying to get the perfect shot interfere with absorbing the moments.

Case in point: I remember going to Disney as a child. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t remember talking about how much fun we had at Disney. I do, however, LOL when I talk about the road trips to get there. For some reason, a favorite is my dad wearing a fanny pack & the excitement of taking the back seats out of the van so we could “camp” on the way there. And the singing to oldies🎶

We often stayed at an economical hotel. I remember things like bike rides, seeing Jurassic Park on vaca & sea shells on the beach, coming back from the park & enjoying the swimming pool and the tiny arcade off the lobby.

Because life happens in the in-between moments.

I remember the hotel with much more clarity than I remember the magic of Disney or a specific location.

Take care of yourself. I wish I could convince that younger version of myself that the world wouldn’t collapse if I gave myself a day off of work or the gym or whatever stupid diet I was doing.

I wish I could convince that younger version of me to build a true, aligned tribe she could count on sooner. I figured it out, but not until my late 30’s. I found that small inner, high value circle would have my back no matter what, & who got to see all my flaws & love me anyway. 

I’m grateful I learned the lesson about needing a tribe, but mostly the importance of building a home in myself first. Now, everywhere I go, I make home AND I know with confidence I can be happy anywhere because that power comes from within me.

Dream big, but don’t be afraid to change your target if your season changes.

I had big dreams for family, career, finances, & travel. At some point, it became clear that I had fallen for the lie that I could have it all or even knew what I wanted or what tf I was doing.

Reassessing our goals & adjusting our dreams is part of life. As you learn about yourself & life, you learn more about where you want to invest your energy. Give yourself permission to change your definition of success, & never forget that your definition is the one that matters, not the one painted by social media, society, or your peer group.

Release control, laugh more, worry less.

This is the advice 21 year old *me* needed most of all. Even today, I’m not sure I would be the most equipped to give that advice, as I still struggle with releasing control.

I work harder at acknowledging useless worry than I did back then, bringing a measure of hard-earned peace. If I could buy that 21 year old version of myself a cup of coffee & tell her all the wisdom we gained over the next few decades, would I be doing her any favors?

After all, we’ve made it this far, & I kind of like who the two of us became.❤️🫶

Oxox Coach K

Adventure & get fit with me if you like blogs like this one! Resources you’ll love here!

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8 True Forms of Wealth

♡𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 & 𝘓𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴…

A while back, I was a podcast guest & panelist for fitness & leadership workshops for companies like Burn Boot Camp, Orange Theory, CrossFit, & privately owned health & wellness entrepreneurs.

One of the ideas that many resonated with as I spoke of my experiences with body image, gut issues, weight loss & evolving perspectives on life & fitness transformation in general was my “8 Forms of Wealth” ideal I embraced from Robin Sharma.

In my mind, health, wealth, happiness, & fulfillment aren’t just about making money & being skinny. They are world-class levels to embrace whenever you’re ready.

You meet, love, & accept people & the reality of your life only as deep as you meet, love, & accept yourself. You KNOW you.

It’s like If you’re wondering if someone likes you, you will not have to go to f*cking tarot card readers, investigators, & some shiz to find out. Your inner compass knows.

Inner Wealth: a positive mindset, self-respect, internal peace & strong spiritual connection, clarity around your values & targets you’d like to achieve along your journey.

Physical Wealth: Your health is your wealth. What’s the point of getting to a great place in your life or career if you get sick doing it? Don’t be the “best” coworker or businessperson in the hospital. Why be the richest person in the cemetery? Most GREAT leaders & successful peeps are in great health.


Relationship Wealth: When your social life & circle is joyful & nourishing, you will perform better at life, period. It is imperative to forge deep connections with family, friends, community, colleagues, role models & trusted advisors.


Career Wealth: Getting to greatness in your profession brings a feeling of satisfaction & fulfillment. It helps you shine & is good for your self-respect. Be so good at what you do that you leave everyone in your presence spellbound.


Economic Wealth: Yes, money is important. It’s not the most important thing in life, but it absolutely makes life easier & better. Money allows you freedom! Like to live in a nice home, take beautiful vacations & provide well for those you love. I like to say: “The more I make, the more I can give away!”


Circle of Genius: You become who/ what you spend time with, & these influences affect your health, mindset, & performance. “Lead without needing a title” & surround yourself with exceptional people—their stardust will rub off on you.

Adventure Success: To be fulfilled, each of us needs adventure, awe, & novelty in our lives! Adventure is necessary for growth. The human brain craves novelty. And we are creative beings, so we need to be creating & learning constantly if we hope to feel joy. Perfection is nowhere required here, but effort is. I f*ck up sh*t all the time too, but lots of lessons in experience (ranging from meeting new people to visiting new places) is an essential element of authentic wealth!


Impact Wealth: The deepest longing of my human heart & spirit is to live for something greater than myself. Each of us craves to be significant. To make a difference. To know that the world has somehow been better because we have been here. Leaders leave a legacy.

I invite you to focus on each of these elements. Money & being jacked or skinny alone do not define being happy, healthy, & wealthy. 

Don’t go back to containers & doors with dust & cobwebs on them. Remember why dust settles.

Oxox Coach K

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The game of relationships & choosing wisely

I wanna be with someone that would divorce me if I gained 50lbs.

Now hear me out…morning ponderings & real talk…

I’ve thought a lot about my journey of becoming my best self: past mistakes, my health, my fitness journey, my relationships, & every facet of 50 shades of f*cked up & beautiful on this ride.

For those of you new here I’ll be 42 years old this year & still don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing. It’s ok. I love every minute of this life! I’m grateful for all the sh*t I’ve been through because it’s made me the woman writing this today in this journal entry.

My opening statement isn’t about weight gain & aesthetic changes, it’s about being THE PERSON & with a partner who holds high standards for themselves too & one who makes me want to be a better woman, partner — human.

A reminder for myself & maybe you too 🤷‍♀️to be with people who make you want to be the best version of yourself. Maybe they make you feel a little uncomfortable. Good. Choose people who are different & help you grow.

I set these standards for all relationships — platonic, business, & romantic.

Why? Because it influences who you are.

I understand we’ve all been taught about these “fantasy” relationships & unconditional love …

… I believe love is conditional because people change & that’s totally OK. Lovingly allow the right people into your lives yet also realize it’s OK to lovingly release those who do not fit your nonnegotiable conditions.

👉 The game of relationships & choosing wisely @hormozi 👌🏻 🎙️

Oxox Coach K

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Reflections and life feels lately

When Cardi B said, “I gave you more than I gave myself. So loyal to you that I betrayed myself.” I felt that…⁣

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Deep shiz reflections & life feels lately

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I’m in such a wonderful place in life. I give gratitude every day for this privilege. This growth. I prayed for it. 

How many times have you betrayed yourself because you were giving more to other people or your personal issues & limiting beliefs?

I understand how changing myself to please others or validation attracted all the wrong things that I needed to figure out all the right things. I know if I can’t be my raw, authentic, no filter, little weirdo self around someone it’s not meant for me.

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Maybe it’s disordered eating

Maybe it’s that toxic relationship

Maybe it’s that job you hate

Maybe it’s drinking too much

Maybe it’s negative self talk

Maybe it’s stagnation & fear

Maybe it’s a scarcity mindset

Maybe it’s as simple as too much coffee🙋🏼‍♀️⁣ (I’m trying 😆)

I’ve been in an abusive, obsessive relationship with all of these at one time or another in my 41 years.

What helped me? Journaling & getting real. Falling on my face. Failing. Spending time alone. Finally getting a place of my own that I LOVE. Stepping into my worth. Focusing on being the person that I would like to be with. ⁣

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Knowing I don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy or more worthy. But knowing I’d really like to find a special someone to live life with that looks at me the same way I look at them.

Look for beautiful people & places that quiet your soul. Not just beautiful people & places.

I love my family & small circle.

We may not like or see each other every day but I’m grateful to know that I have a forever home to go to whenever I want & that’s wherever my people are. It’s wherever I am.

When we show up fully & completely as ourselves, content with where we’re at, being fully present & conscious in the moment, listening attentively, showing love & respect, practicing gratitude — we attract more love, positivity, & abundance into our lives & expand those feelings to others. 

It took me a long time to learn that what society deems as “beautiful” people & places are common.

Hell, nowadays all you need is a good filter & just the right angle. You can’t build anything with beauty alone.

I prefer the REAL good stuff. The stuff that stings a lil bit. The ones with scars that tell a story. The places with history & character.

I had a client tell me she just wanted to be told she was beautiful. I teared up, I understood exactly how she felt.

I explained to her the difference between a beautiful person & person who was simply beautiful. 

Yeah, it’s nice to be told you’re beautiful or hot or whatever, but I’d much rather hear someone say that I made things easier.

That they’re happy because I exist.

That I’m strong, & smart, & able.

That their life is better with me in it.

That they’re proud of me.

That they value what I bring to the table.

Be a person who is complimented on more than just appearance.

Love is in the depth & details❤️

Happy Friyay friends!

Oxox Coach K

What are your life reflections today? 

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Life thoughts lately….a page from my diary on partnership, love, relationship, & self awareness

Life thoughts lately….a page from my diary.

“Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it is the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up.”

🎥 Hope Floats. One of my favorite movies!

I sat the other morning with coffee ☕️, talking with my plants about personal awakenings surrounding partnership & relationship 🪷🪴☺️ (I’m weird. It’s ok 😆 At least I’m high vibe🥰 haha! High five 🙌 to all my fellow woke weirdos) 

Maybe y’all can relate to some of my thoughts & feelings 🤷‍♀️ Hope they resonate in a way that you need to find clarity, clear the cobwebs, or serve as a provoking thought conversation starter.

For those of you who are new here, I’ve struggled with relationships basically my entire life. It’s been about remembering myself. Not losing myself in another. Building a home in myself so that I can be that safe space and partner for another, too.

I’ve been divorced twice. Casually dated all different kinds of men. I’m really proud of myself for creating a kick ass self partnered life that I am so grateful for. But I do truly believe we are not meant to go through this life alone. I just haven’t quite been sure what kind of a partnership is right for me. I acknowledge not every relationship is meant to last forever, honoring whatever time a contract serves.

I understand now that I simply need a partner that sees & accepts me as I am, my whole self. “Flaws” quirks & all. Not just for my looks. One that does not judge/criticize but allows me to be my weird little self. 

Someone who can fall in love with their safe space. One like simply sitting in solitude appreciating the sweet sounds & murals of nature outside.

I understand that I do have to be emotionally, mentally, AND physically attracted initially to a person, because that does not develop later. (For me) I’ve tried to force this in the past. Doesn’t work.

I no longer allow myself to let relationships romantically continue if I do not feel romantically attracted to that person.

I’ve realized I have had a lot of wonderful friendships with men, i’m naturally a “guys girl” being raised with brothers & on a farm. What I thought potentially was a romantic relationship on many occasions was a platonic attraction to someone.

So yes, I feel I have broken a lot of hearts, but I’m proud of myself for being honest. Honest in telling those people that I love them (because I do), but our relationship was more in the “friend zone” kind of way.

I align to someone that loves me not just for my looks or what I can do for them. I desire a partner that simply makes me feel safe & protected, special & appreciated. Money comes and goes. But I know you can always build a better life together with someone that makes you feel the way you want feel & aligned with your energy. 

Memories & experiences are everything & meant to be shared. We weren’t meant to go through this life alone forever.

I used to think I needed a super successful, rich business man type. And I have dated many wealthy men because I needed those experiences. But what I discovered was that I actually wanted that success for myself so I had to go out and create that for myself. Which I did 👏🏼 I didn’t need that through another.

I had to show myself that I could travel and be free and be successful and create my own business & opportunities scaled to my needs, on my own. I didn’t need someone else to do that for me. 

I realized I needed the aligned partner that made me feel emotionally & physically the way I wanted to feel, and that gift, that package, was probably going to be different than what I expected.

So I opened my mind and my heart to that concept and simply followed what I loved & was drawn to. I followed what I felt was right, and listened to the signs and the things, places, & people that I was drawn to whether I understood it or not. 

I admit, there were/are many times I’m like l. “Katie you are f*cking crazy. I do not understand why you resonate & are so drawn to certain things.” 

BUT… I know that I walk by FAITH, not by sight.

I enjoy & admire partners that let me take care of them. Not in the mommy role kind of way. But in the energy of allowing my to embrace my feminine strengths. To be soft & let a man take care of me, too. 

I know my “role and my place.” I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I don’t say that in a disrespectful way, but one of self-awareness and appreciation. 

i’m very very good at taking care of a household and I make shit happen because I am driven and I am strong. I am the glue. I am a natural caretaker. I am able and extremely resourceful and resilient because this life has made me that way and I’m grateful.

I cannot thank my parents enough for helping me build a solid foundation in myself. Same for people who were cruel and harsh to me. I appreciate every time they were hard on me &/or had high expectations because it made me the woman that I am today. 

Although I do not wish to fall into the role of mother & teacher, as I know, I deserve an equal partner, I do acknowledge that I excel in both of these places, but I do so respectively.

I do not desire to be more masculine than my other half, I understand some women are guarded, and maybe a little defensive sometimes when it comes to allowing a man to be a man and take care of them. “Men” are natural providers and I feel that that is their right.

Loyalty, honor, duty, understanding, & respect are vital, really when it comes to supporting men especially in a certain environment.

I had to understand throughout my journey that I had to love myself as I was, first. That I didn’t always need to change to suit someone else or have materialistic items, titles, things outside of myself. But, on the other hand, that it was OK to love the things that I loved that made me feel amazing from a place of self-love and not by ego.

We all deserve abundance & everything that we desire. We weren’t meant to go through this life miserable, living in scarcity & fear. 

Abundance is everywhere & love is everywhere if we let it in. And all of this comes via our unique journey and self-awareness, unlocking the doors to everything we have ever desired. 

Thank you for reading my thoughts from the pages of my heart, my storybook, that I pour into the notes pages of my iPhone 📲 💕

Oxox Coach K

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I Gave Up One Of My Best Friends This Year. Goodbye Alcohol, Hello Sobriety

Life reflections lately…2 years ago today I was at a bar crawl with this beautiful soul. Thank you Facebook memories 😆 

I have a small circle of high value people & I prefer it that way. When I was younger, I thought if everyone didn’t like me &/or I didn’t have a huge friend circle that I must not be cool or hot enough to spend time with.

In my 20’s, I lied to myself with a plethora of “good” reasons to drink, & I thought that everyone would drink if they were dealing with problems like mine…

I drank because I was depressed & hated my body

I drank to cope with the trauma of Crohn’s disease, obesity, orthorexia, body dysmorphia, & bulimia

I drank because my marriage was misaligned

I drank because it made me feel confident & vibrant (numbing social anxiety & insecurity)

I drank because I felt life was “really hard” when I didn’t

Navigating the world in a marginalized body can be hard. Add trauma &/or mental sabotaging to that, & it makes sense that some of us might use substances to cope with the weight of living in a fog of scarcity & lies

A coping mechanism doesn’t have to be healthy to be valid; we’re all just doing the best we can with the tools & level of consciousness that we have.

I Had Lots of Reasons to Think I Didn’t Have a Problem

Despite the fact that I had been admitted to the hospital one time with a BAC of .346 & on a vent, a year later after that incident I started drinking again. 

I had lots of reasons I told myself I wasn’t an alcoholic:

I didn’t drink every day or much on many occasions

I didn’t drink in the morning (unless I’d been up all night & was still drinking. That didn’t count)

I’d never had a DUI (but should have)

I didn’t drink alone. Even if I went to the bar alone, there were always people there, so that wasn’t technically “alone”

And then one day, I was fed up with giving something power over the magic of my life. 

And someone said to me, “It’s not about how much you drink; it’s about what happens when you drink & how you feel when you don’t.”

Ooof.

With that one sentence, everything fell into place for me. I started to connect the dots about my behavior & it was like warm sunshine came thru my windows of life. 

1. I Often Drank More Than I Planned

I often went out with the intention of having “a cocktail. No more than 2.” No matter what I told myself at the beginning of the night, it hard to just have a couple of drinks. I got a better handle of it in my late 30’s but would still wake up & feel less than even if I had 1. 

2. My Drinking Interfered with My Life

Waking up hungover affected my work, productivity, energy, workouts, Crohn’s disease, weight gain, energy, mood, hunger, satiety, money, relationships — EVERYTHING. 

3. I Routinely Did Things When I Was Under the Influence That I Wouldn’t Have Done Sober

I used to be the queen of drunk texting. I’d wake up & delete all my text messages before I couldn’t even read them because I didn’t even want to know. I slept around. In the morning, I never wanted to hear about what I’d done the night before. “Just don’t. tell. me!” 

4. I Was Drinking to Fix How I Felt When I Was Sober

Drinking may have caused a lot of problems for me, but the real problem was how I felt when I was sober. When I was drunk, I was relaxed & confident. I wasn’t so insecure about my body. I was outgoing, I could talk to people, & I could go places without my empathy & clairsentience going into overdrive, especially in large crowds.

5. Drinking Controlled Where I Went, What I Did, & With Whom I Hung Out

I was way more likely to attend a function if I knew there would be booze. I could be friends with anyone as long as there was alcohol involved. I avoided hanging out with people who didn’t drink like me because they made me feel guilty. I’d take shots before going out to social functions to “chill out.”

6. I Kept Promising That I Would Stop, But Never Could

I tried to stop (or cut back) drinking many times in my 20’s & 30’s. My 40s haven’t been bad, but I still enjoyed drinking less & less the more I realized how it affected me & my spiritual awakening strengthened. Remember swearing off drinking many weekends?

I’m not writing this to say you’re wrong if you drink. And I would be lying if I said, I didn’t enjoy drinking. I love enjoying cocktails & enhancing experiences. But I had to come to terms & ask myself if I was really enhancing experiences when it did nothing to make me feel better or improve my life?

If you’re reading this & thinking, “Wow, this sounds a lot like me,” then hi! 👋 I’m so glad you’re here! Thank you for reading a chapter out of my diary of life!

Knowing that other people thought & acted like me was a huge step towards getting well. It meant that I wasn’t abnormal, I wasn’t broken, & there was a solution.

As a first step, I encourage you to do some reading. Read other stories & blogs written by people embracing sobriety & the sober curious life. 

There are many wonderful venues out there now with alcohol free options, & mocktails, too. You’ll come to realize there are an abundance of life things to enjoy that do not have to include alcohol.

If you’ve read this far & relate to what’s written here, I want you to know that you are an incredible human!

Recognizing that you want to make a change is the beginning of a lifelong journey that can be incredibly difficult, but it’s one that you never have to take alone.

If no one has told you how strong you are yet today, let me be the first❤️🫶

Oxox Coach K

My name is Katie Kelly. I’m a multi modal travel clinician 🩺💀, nutritionist, high performance coach, & biz consultant specializing in human connection & process optimization with over 20 years experience. On social I’m better known as Coach K & I’m just like you!

More importantly, I want you to believe in yourself, your health, your business, your voice, & your ability to live your best life! 

I’m known as the sweary, Indiana farmer’s daughter who went from a sick (Crohn’s Disease & bulimia), overweight (lost 60lbs via the carnivore diet & CrossFit), broke bish (was 50k+ in debt) to a thriving, self loving human here to inspire, educate, & mentor! 

Welcome to my digital diary & wellness guide full of life lessons learned the hard way🫶

I post content about life/biz/self improvement anywhere from fat loss, therapy, disordered eating, Crohn’s, self love, entrepreneurship, healthcare, food, fitness, finance, & everything in between to a social media audience of 47K+!

Thank you for allowing me to add value to your lives! Grateful to have you part of my digital family ❤️