Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
I read, “You’re never going to be 100% ready and it’s never going to be just the right time, but that’s the point. It means that every moment is also the right moment. If you want it, you just have to do it.”
Hi five to whomever wrote that.🙋♀️
You wanna know why it’s so hard to get what you want (or what you think you want)?
Fear.
Doesn’t matter if it’s losing weight, talking to a person you like, moving, asking for a raise or going after that job you want.
Muscle ups scare the shit out of me but I commit to practicing relentlessly because I believe in my ability and deservingness of having what I want out of life.
**Some hard truths to take with you into 2021**
1.) You have a short term attitude that doesn’t align with your long-term intentions
Without a long term intention & approach to anything in life, you’re bound to suffer a rebound when you figure out it isn’t working. It’s that “oh fxck” moment…
How you respond afterwords determines everything.
Take weight loss for example. Say you go low carb, lose a few pounds of water weight after a couple days, then discover it’s harder than you thought, your body isn’t responding as quickly as you thought — so you go back to old self sabotaging habits.
How about we commit to something more than 2 weeks? Commit, experiment, try & THEN if it’s still not working, it’s OK, be proud of yourself for trying!
Part of success is willingness to take a risk, yet also being smart enough to own it if it’s not working and search for another solution.
2.) You lack a quality support system
Your environment is everything! Fitness, career, social media, relationship related — doesn’t matter.
Any source that makes you feel bad about yourself and drags your vibration down — get rid of it, unfollow, block, trash it. Replace them with sources and people who are positive & successful & living the life you desire.
I personally have been called a savage for the ability to cut people & things out of my life with no remorse if they are not serving my highest alignment, but guess what? I am a whole hxll of a lot happier because of this skill. Doesn’t mean you have to be an dxck, but be HONEST.
Don’t worry about what other people think of you, you will never be happy if you’re constantly people pleasing. Own your shxt, own your life.
You control your thoughts, environment, and reality of your life. Choose accordingly.
3.) You lack clarity & don’t really know what you want
Write out your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Learn to BE with yourself. Align your thoughts & actions accordingly to be the person you want to embody and that life will follow.
If you’re chronically stressed, sleep deprived, overworked, & talk down to yourself, your life will be a helluva lot harder.
Set you day up for success. You should have a success routine & habits in place. I wrote a blog just the other day about 8 things you should do every single day to be more successful. I suggest you go back and look at that.
Keeping these 3 hard truths in mind will allow you to create the space to welcome more abundance in your life.
I deactivated my Facebook this weekend. Finally pulled the trigger.
After the last year & a half of life changing stillness, loss, & uncertainty, I’ve been reflecting on my life, especially my career & authenticity.
It’s a whole hxll of a lot easier to look back & reflect only on the highlight reels, wanting to fast-forward or delete the painful moments.
I realized Facebook no longer brought me joy, I felt it was more of a negative distraction to fill the uncomfortable voids in my day.
Recently, I find myself pushing the pause again – pushing myself to take time to ask myself what REALLY aligns for ME at this very moment. It’s hard. I know, however, it’s absolutely necessary to grow.
The truth is, when I’m honest, not only did many fantastic opportunities in my life pass by or end prematurely because I felt I wasn’t good enough AND/OR I made a decision because I was placing someone else’s needs, feelings, & journey above my own.
Regardless of the circumstance, I would find valid reasons (excuses) why I needed to people please, or be the ‘Good Girl’, or the job or time or diet or workout or guy was/wasn’t right – yet I’d leave out the part about me not doubting myself.
Reflecting on these cycles, I realized I was choking on imposter syndrome.
Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.
Years ago, a Brooklyn based meal prep company hired me as their Midwest Nutrition Sales & Consulting Representative.
I knew jack about sales.
I knew people.
I knew how to care for people working in healthcare & radiology full time & coaching CrossFit & nutrition coaching as a side hustle.
I took that job & traveled for a whole year, learned a lot of life skills, made tons of connections, & also was scared shitless 99% of the time. My picture was even on the front page of their website.
Website Photo, Photo by Pamela Scott, Dreaming Willow Photography
I continuously told myself I wasn’t as good as the other reps. I made myself miserable. But I was really good at that ‘fake it till ya make it’ part. But it eats at you after time.
I was qualified, capable, and people loved me, but I wasn’t confident.
Have you ever felt like a complete fraud and that everyone was going to find out that you didn’t earn or deserving of your accomplishments?
Have you struggled with feeling like you don’t belong, don’t fit in?
Join the club. No one likes to talk about or admit it though.
So I started researching how to overcome my feelings. Reviewing Dr. Valerie Young’s research, she discovered specific imposter syndrome subgroups:
The Perfectionist – They have such high expectations for themselves that even small mistakes will make them feel like a failure.
The Superwoman/Superman – They put in longer hours, never take days off and must succeed in all aspects of life in order to prove they are the “real deal.”
The Natural Genius – They are used to things coming easily, so when something is too hard or they don’t master it on the first try, they feel shame and self-doubt.
The Soloist – They don’t like to ask for help, so when they do, they feel like a failure or a fraud.
The Expert – They continuously seek out additional certifications or training because they feel as though they will never know enough to be truly qualified.
I’d read through these and thought, dxmn, I fit into more than one of these.
Thank you, childhood trauma.
My parents set high expectations for me at a young age (I’m grateful they did tho).
I remember I got an 86%, my lowest grade ever, in Algebra, and I was devastated and thought my mom would hate me.
I graduated in the top of my class in high school, and on the Dean’s list in college at Purdue University, landed a huge internship at Eli Lilly my senior year of college too, yet for some reason, I still never felt good enough.
Today, it’s even harder. Social media has connected us all in ways I never thought possible. It’s a double edged sword I say. It’s wonderful to use for education, creativity, & connection but it also conjures a whole mess of negativity too.
I told you all before, I LOATHE the word ‘influencer.’ I feel it labels & places us in a shallow box of facades.
I’ve discussed with y’all how photoshop, & filters, & focusing on the highlight reels distort our feelings about ourselves, expectations of proper life timelines, public image, body image – the list goes on.
We place our worth and validation on likes & swipe rights.
So what do we do to overcome these faux feelings about ourselves? I though hard about this and came up with a few small steps that gave me solutions, comfort, & hope…
1.) Get Real Get Honest
When you feel like a fxck up, or unworthy, or you made a mistake, or you feel shame in some way – call yourself out & get real. You can only hide your feelings for so long, it’s just a Band-Aid.
2.) Emotions are Fleeting, Focus on Facts
We’re human, we change our minds and are emotional creatures. Write out the facts. Make a pros and cons list. You are qualified, capable, and worthy.
3.) Don’t Try to Fit In
Life would be boring if we were all the same.
Life would be boring if our lives always turned out as planned and perfect. You would never learn if you didn’t make mistakes. Your mess is your message. Be a trailblazer and own your shxt. Be kind always – to yourself and others. Seek first to understand before judging.
4.) Celebrate Every Win
Don’t downplay your accomplishments. No matter how small. Maybe you lost a couple lbs, maybe you got through your entire ‘To Do’ list, maybe you saved $100 this month, maybe you got a $2 raise, maybe you just got through the week and didn’t lose your shxt. High five sis, take’em all!
5.) Be The Person You Seek To Embody
I guess this is kind of like ‘fake it till you make it.’ All goes back to thoughts become things & you attract the vibe you put out.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Embrace yourself, baby. You have permission to be a hot mess & hot shot at the same time.
Surround yourself by people who make you better, push you, love and support you through the highlight reels & REAL reels.
Remember these…
“Be yourself, an original is worth more than a copy.” – Unknown
and
“If you want to be original, be ready to be copied.” – Coco Chanel
They just rile me up. It means I have to choose something & release something else.
I realize now it gives me anxiety because I fear making the wrong choice & somehow that makes me a bad person. A failure. An imposter. Which are 2 of my worst fears.
How about guys? You feel this way too?
I feel if I make a ‘bad’ decision, I’m not achieving, I’m not people pleasing, & that makes me less worthy somehow.
I realized it was paralyzing me & there are no wrong decisions — only an experience.
That doesn’t make me a bad person that makes me human. I focused too much on the end product & not on the love of the journey & process.
This was applicable to my love life, my relationship with food & body image, career goals — you name it.
Also, let me remind you, nothing is irreversible. Picture the worst case outcome. Trust me, you’ll be fine.
Dr. Joe Dispenza preaches the POWER is in the present, becoming unattached to outcomes.
We can’t worry about the past, it doesn’t need us anymore. Learn the lessons.
Now, 2nd guessing.
This shows up in the smallest ways.
✅Ex: I choose the hamburger but 2nd guess myself when your wings come out.
✅Ex: I choose to go to CrossFit but Karen down the road went for a 5 mile run. Maybe I should’ve done that.
✅Ex: I chose Partner A because he feels comfortable & safe but I truly want Partner B but somehow don’t feel good enough for partner B.
✅Ex: I chose job 1 bc it gives me freedom. But I really need job 2 bc it’s stable yet I’m afraid of commitment.
Am I the biggest fxck up in the world because I did so? No.
So here’s what I want to reiterate, decisions are crossroads. You’re not less worthy because you make a decision that didn’t turn out.
You’re not indecisive or savage or weak or broken or stupid or whatever you tell yourself.
It’s simply your baggage being pulled out of your bag.
So sit yo 🍑on the floor & unpack your baggage — it’s not gonna unpack itself.
And I’ll be sittn on the floor, with a cocktail or coffee, unpacking my shxt with you. ❤️🥃☕️
Heart wrenching conversation with a client yesterday I’m certain all of us have encountered & then realized how interconnected emotions & outcomes are.
She told me, she knows he doesn’t love her for her, but she keeps holding on which is affecting her weight & basically everything else in her life.
So I started off with this: Our job on this earth is not to have to sell or transform ourselves to earn someone’s love. It’s just to simply be loved for exactly who we are & we are to do the same.
Relationships & your worth are determined by your own definition, not society’s definition or timelines you think you need to be living.
I’ve said this before, I fully stand by it, people can choose to evolve with you or without you in any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic.
The people you surround yourself with, make you. They are a reflection of your values & integrity.
It’s OK to grow out of relationships. It’s OK if those people choose to part. It takes a BIG, evolved person to lovingly release someone you care deeply for.
You can’t build a relationship with a person you love for who you want them to be.
Honor your individuality.
Don’t be afraid to take chances on experiences if they feel right, don’t hoard shame if they didn’t work out the way you thought.
Be proud of yourself for choosing love, especially love for yourself. It’s the only relationship you’re going to have forever. If you’re not happy, you’re not going to make anyone else happy. The negative energy you put out if you don’t feel aligned will only further grow & bring more negative.
It’s pretty simple really. Give love away like there are no conditions attached, and this goes for letting it go too. By doing this we enable the alignment & flow that is supposed to happen in this life experience.
You can begin creating the life, body, & love you desire right now, even if you don’t have the pieces in place you think you need in order to start.
All it takes is acceptance, intention, effort, & LOVE.
When you read this title, most think of someone spending hours in the gym. If you would’ve asked me years ago, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, I would’ve thought the same thing.
The one exercise you MUST do…
…exercise your mind.
It never would have occurred to me the power and influence of our minds. How our minds push our bodies to defy expectations, beliefs, and even our own biology. Call’em miracles?
So lets chat about two habits I cultivated that can also help you change your life. You can start right now. It’s easy, promise!
I knew when I was in the pit of ONE of my rock-bottoms, cuz ya gurlz had many, I had to start changing my beliefs & mindset.
⁃ My health was not good. ⁃ I was bloated & constipated all the time it seemed no matter what I ate. ⁃ I was putting on weight (FYI when you hoard negative emotional energy, that can be the actual culprit literally weighing you down). ⁃ My performance in the gym sucked. ⁃ I didn’t wanna wear anything but baggy clothes, thank God I wear scrubs to work. Which also translated into me wanting to hide all the time. Hermit mode engaged. ⁃ I was in debt, yet I couldn’t stop myself from overspending because I was putting a fxcking Band-Aid on a bullet hole — I was unhappy. You know it’s a problem when you order shxt from Amazon & you forget you ordered shit from Amazon.
I felt like this was just my story & I could never get ahead. I can’t tell you how valuable to was to invest in coaches to guide me along my way: business coach, nutrition coach, therapist, functional medicine docs, family docs. Don’t be afraid to invest, you’ll get more back in return. And if you need someone to talk to, tell me about your story here. We’ll hop the phone & get some answers for you.
Despite me doing all the physical exercise known to man (president of the ‘habitual over exercisers club’ right hurrrr), the one exercise I was not doing — exercising changing my mindset to rewrite my story.
Sound familiar?
So what did I do?
The two habits that changed my life forever — GRATITUDE every morning & cultivating my ENVIRONMENT (mental & physical) to RECEIVE ABUNDANCE & what I wanted.
I started listening to podcasts and YouTube‘s to people I inspired to be like.
Successful people. Positive people. Learning about things that would make me better as a coach and human and partner and friend and daughter and coworker, etc.
First thing in the morning I say at least three things I am grateful for and something I love about myself.
Second thing, I check my podcasts and YouTube‘s to see what I wanna listen to today.
BONUSES…let me give you a couple more.
I detoxed my social media and unfollowed anything and anyone that made me feel negative energy or the need to compare & mourn past versions of my body (it only fuels disordered eating and body image.)
I also detoxed the people in my life. Yes, I understand this is a hard one especially when it comes down to friends and family. But it is absolutely necessary. Stop ignoring that nagging feeling that keeps telling you you don’t need to be around that friend or that person you keep dating but they treat you like yesterday’s trash.
Trash creates more trash. You attract the energy and vibe you put out.
When you fall in love with who you are, under any circumstance, you awaken the love you need within you and you naturally attract and experience more love and success in your life.
This is a lot easier to do when you cultivate a nourishing environment for you to grow into your fullest potential.
Some of my favorite podcasts, social media, & YouTubes:
Grateful I got to dress pretty & wear “real clothes” last night. Stitch Fix saves my life. I look forward to their deliveries. I only pay for I keep, can schedule deliveries whenever I want, & cancel at any time.
Obsessed with this soft and savy SKIES ARE BLUE Hannah Modal Scuba Blazer Size: XS
I get anxiety when I go shopping because I know I’m an impulse buyer. This actually helps me save a ton of money & dress well. (which in turn makes me feel good & brings more abundance into my life, another tip 😉)
Just like I should’ve bought an air fryer years ago♨️❤️ 😂
Here’s mine! On Amazon Fav list too! Click Image
A few quotes I love & reminders for you today:
“Beware of destination addiction. A preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.” – Robert Holden
“Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside of you.” – unknown
“Don’t wait for things to get easier, simple, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you’ll run out of time.” – unknown
Had a message recently from a woman who asked me to list the one thing she needed to do to lose weight & be successful in life.
I thought, “Dayum, that’s a deep one.” I don’t have enough space on Instagram to answer this one!
So I brainstormed. Came up with one thing I felt could help you achieve & overcome anything in life. It’s dirty. It hurts. It makes your eyes well up. And it’s absolutely necessary — mental toughness.
A lil bit about my story…
This child was called fat. This child was called ugly. This child felt she would never be the girl that sparkles when she enters a room. This child is me.
Making cookies for 4-H. My first year of 10 years of 4-H.
Easter morning
I was told to lose weight & I tried to diet before I was 10 years old. My self-esteem & body issues started at 8 years old.
I hated my body.
I was told on numerous accounts, “If you just lost weight, you would be as pretty as all the other girls in school.” Hurt like a bxtch every time. Translated into: you won’t be successful &/or loved unless you’re thin & look the part.
I thought something was truly wrong with me & wanted so badly to be as thin as the women in my Seventeen magazine, the stars I idolized, & my thin, popular classmates.
This turned into decades of disordered eating — anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, orthorexia, you name it. My body has been all shapes and sizes and everything in between. Not to mention struggling with Crohns, chronic bloating, gut issues, gi bleeding, constipation, inflammation, allergies, infertility, cervical cancer, renal stones, GERD, & a cholecystectomy.
After suffering from poor body image basically the majority of my 38 years on this earth, now, I stand as a woman who loves herself more than anyone else in the world.
I learned to finally love my body for the first time in my life. It felt like a breath of fresh air which also ushered in emotional & mental transformations. These in turn brought more abundance into my life.
I truly accepted my unique self, my mess of a message & didn’t feel the need to change it because of someone else’s opinion.
I changed my inner voice to self love & never looked back. I’ve lost 50lbs from my heaviest weight, the biggest weight lost being self loathing & doubt.
The one thing I needed to develop was the product of my struggles — mental toughness.
The one thing you have to have to be successful.
How did I do this?
It’s easy. No, really, it is. It takes some time, but if you commit to yourself every single day, you’ll get there.
When you see yourself in the mirror, what do you say?
Do you make negative comments on your appearance?
Maybe you see your stretch marks that you wish you could erase. I have’em. Call’em my tiger stripes.
Society makes us think that any “imperfection” we may have is something we need to fix.
Your “imperfections” are NOT something to be ashamed of or fixed. They make you — YOU.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, give yourself a compliment. Every time you feel a negative thought creep in, shut it down & replace it with a positive.
If you hate your stretch marks, instead of thinking negatively about them, turn it into a positive & think about how it was an honor to stretch & grow your children or allow you to share your unique story to help another women hating hers. Some women can’t have children. Some women don’t know what it feels like to be overweight & hating themselves.
Or if you’ve struggled with gut issues & Crohns like me or any autoimmune or dis-ease, use your unique experiences to give others hope.
Fuel your fire y’all! Use that passion to help someone else. If someone asks you why you live & eat the way that you do, use that as an opportunity to educate them.
There was a time I was so afraid to gain a pound that I was eating about 800 calories a day.
Then I found CrossFit at 31, new obsessions appeared. I chased PR‘s & dug a hole so deep full of metabolic adaptation, gut & hormonal issues, working out for hours each day.
Although from the outside I looked “thin and healthy,” I was an absolute train wreck.
Still didn’t think I was successful at life, my relationships were less than optimal, I was in debt, my health was not good.
I basically put myself on the clearance rack.
You have to heal from the inside first. No matter what you look like on the outside or what the number says on the scale if you do not get to the root cause of any issue that brings negativity into your life, things will never change.
I started doing the inner work with a group called To Be Magnetic. I highly recommend checking them out, they changed my life.
They help me rewire my brain to one of lack to one of abundance & possibility. They helped me heal my trauma to step into the woman I am today. I’m confident and proud of my body!
Photo by: Jennifer Matteucci
Photo by: Jennifer Matteucci
I’ committed to an animal based diet this year. Down 15lbs & thriving!
All the shapes and sizes. Honor your seasons!
Photo by: Pamela Scott
— I payed off over $43,000 in debt during a pandemic — I work three fulfilling jobs in radiology for 3 of the biggest healthcare networks in Indianapolis.
— I’m also a private health coach & able to make my own schedule in tandem with my love of healthcare.
Click image for coaching inquiry. Excited to hear your story!
— I love where I live, never thought I’d be able to afford a “bougie” apartment.
— My health & relationship with my body is better than it’s ever been. — I’m surrounded by uplifting, successful, positive people. Cut out the toxicity.
— I unapologetically love myself more than anything in this world & I’m ok being alone. Learn to be your own best friend.
Realize life is an ongoing journey, there is no finish line, there are only experiences. And we are here to live in Joy.
Back to that mental toughness thing…
Qualities you need to develop mental toughness:
1.) Emotional Intelligence. It’s really the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them.
2.) Confidence.
“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.” Henry Ford
Mentally tough people know that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed. Your confidence inspires others and helps them to make things happen.
3.) Ability to Remove Toxicity. Dealing with difficult people, self sabotaging habits, toxic environments are frustrating and exhausting. Be able to remove these from your life. You can’t grow in constant darkness, you also need the light.
4.) Saying No. Mentally tough people know that saying NO is healthy and absolutely necessary. Trust your gut. You don’t always owe people apologies either.
5.) Fear is the Source of Regret. When its all said and done, mentally tough people know the chances they didn’t take will haunt them far more than the risks. The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.
6.) Embrace Failure. Failure is the road success is paved on. It’s how you grow. Live and learn. Don’t dwell on mistakes.
7.) Choose Your Joy. When your life and satisfaction is derived from comparing yourself with others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. You do you, boo.
8.) Movement & Health. People who place priority on health and exercise feel more socially, intellectually, emotionally, and physically competent. Discipline also fuels mental toughness. The majority of the most successful people in the world have an exercise regimen. That means SLEEP too.
9.) Relentlessly Positive. Control what you can control, let go of the rest. 92% of your worry is wasted worry.
I keep a copy of this sheet in my daily scheduler as a reminder when I feel the weight of stress
I hope this fueled the fxck out of your Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this for you and I can’t wait to chat with y’all via text, email, or social media!
…now [insert inspirational quote] actin like I have my life together & actually wiped my makeup off before bed.
—I didn’t. 💁🏼♀️we all have our vices.
Reality…
Couldn’t figure out what day it was when I woke up at 4 AM.
I love mornings, get most of my ideas & messages 🧿🔮before anyone else is up.
Had to remind myself what hospital I was working at today. (I have 4 jobs including nutrition coaching. Might be an obsession but I love working & love money)
Pete knocked over my tree. YES, still have my Christmas tree up but I’m taking it down this weekend, purging old stuff Promise🤞🏼
The Ottoman I’m sittin on is made of real cowhide. I’ve wanted for decades but couldn’t bring myself to spend the money, it cost almost $400. Pulled the trigger. I’m done discounting myself. I deserve it.
I keep crystals in my pocket & all over my place. They’re like children (like Pete 🐈⬛ & my plants🪴) I don’t name my crystals however. 🤔Dunno why. I name all my favorite appliances & plants.
Today I have selenite & citrine in my pocket 💎
Selenite instills deep peace & assists judgement & insight. It clears confusion, aids in seeing the deeper picture.
Citrine is the stone of prosperity, wealth, protection & good luck. It shines light & promotes happiness☀️
Just some random stuff this mornin & for those of you who are new here, I’m kinda weird, kinda awesome😎 I thrive on an animal-based diet & believe in no diet dogma.
Can also be an Ahole & emotionally unavailable. (I know, it’s a defense mechanism) I love myself more than anyone else. Been a loner for a long time, became my own best friend.
Really have no fxckin idea where I’m going. Only thing that matters is I experience as many things as I can & choose to live with joy every day.
Couldn’t really figure out what to write so I wrote about whatever popped into my mind.
— guess the moral of this post, nothing is as they seem. There is so much more to a picture & smile — AND YOU TOO! ❤️
Wishing y’all the most awesome Super Bowl weekend full of the good stuff.
