Tag: self love tips

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Fixing the Fear of Gaining Weight and A Simple Guide to Ways I Learned to Love Myself

This will probably trigger you…
It triggers me everytime someone asks me. “How do I learn to love myself?”

Straight up, I’ll tell you, you are the reason you’re not where you wanna be.
And it’s because of fear.


I tell you this as your coach & fellow human that understands.

For the majority of you following along my fitness journey via the interwebs, I feel confident saying we have many things in common, including this painful topic.

You see I realize now, as my 41 year old self, fear of gaining weight totally stifled my potential, controlled, & basically wrecking balled my life in every facet.

Every facet of life is connected. I categorize mine as health, self, wealth, & relationships.

My disordered eating & self love journey started at the age of 8.

Fear of gaining weight & self loathing caused me to live decades in agony & struggle.

I ate all the wrong things for me. All the “healthy” sugar free food & crazy diets that tore up my gut, hormones, & metabolism.


I starved, binged, purged, & over exercised myself to exhaustion, inflammation, & imbalances.


I didn’t have many friends & missed out on SOOO many memories because I feared eating food, both because I didn’t wanna go over my calories & be “fat” & I feared being judged for not being able to eat “normal” due to my Crohn’s.


I didn’t ask guys out, I doubted myself. I was never athletic enough, skinny enough, lean enough, strong enough, pretty enough, smart enough…

I never reached a body goal I was happy with no matter how thin I got or how strong I got. Not because I wasn’t a hard worker, I worked my ass off, but because my relationship with myself, my negative mindset, & fear of gaining weight controlled ME.

I had a DM from a woman desperate for me to give her magic macros & all the answers to get a lean physique.

First thing she said, “I’m afraid to gain the weight back, but what I’m doing isn’t working.” She was eating tons of lean protein, little fat, stated she was hungry all the time, fasting, working out like a fiend…sound familiar?

I said you’re right, it’s not working. The main issue isn’t not having the perfect macros or workout regime, it’s because you’re letting your fear of gaining weight block your doors of abundance & success.

It’s preventing you mentally & physically from making the correct decisions & courses of action. Your body also responds to your thoughts & feelings, if all you think & feel is self hate, despair, & poor health – that’s what you’re gonna get.

She said, “I never thought of it that way.”

I said, “Exactly.”

So I wrote a list of simple things I did to help me learn to love myself for you to refer back to. Make these yours however they fit & resonate.

I hope they give you HOPE that you can learn to love yourself too.

Simple Ways I Learned to Love Myself

  • Self awareness means to know & accept yourself. It’s impossible to love yourself if you don’t even know who you are. Invest in discovering what you believe, value, & like. And yes, this will mean making mistakes, but you’ll learn & discover what you do like.

I asked myself these questions:
What are my strengths?
How do I want to feel in my body, relationships, & finances?
Who matters most to me? Who are my people?
What am I ashamed of?
What do I like to do for fun?
What am I worried about that consumes my thoughts?
What are my values? What do I believe in?
If I could have one wish, it would be…
Where do I feel safest?
What or who gives me comfort? What or who do I numb with?
If I wasn’t afraid, I would…
What is my proudest accomplishment?
What is my biggest failure?
Am I a night owl or an early bird? How can I arrange my life to better suit this part of me?
What do I like about my job(s)? Does it bring me joy & fulfillment?
What do I do to show myself love & self-care?
Am I an introvert or an extrovert? Am I energized being around others or being by myself?
What is/are my happiest memory/memories?
What am I grateful for?

  • Say “no” when you need to. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you smart & more able to fully yourself & those around you. Boundaries are one HUGE form of self-care because they let others know that you are deserving of respect.
  • Comparison is the thief of Joy -Stop. Others aren’t better or worse, more or less than you; we’re all just different. You are worthy simply because you exist. Period. The reason we struggle is because we compare everyone’s highlight reels to our behind the scenes.

The reason we struggle is because we compare everyone’s highlight reels to our behind the scenes.

  • Know and own your strengths. We all have tremendous gifts. refer back to those questions in number 1. And again, stop comparing. When you’re busy, distracted, & always stuck in comparison “whoa is me” mode, it’s hard to acknowledge & access these vibrant qualities. Focusing on your strengths will increase your positive feelings for yourself & inner & outer vibration.
  • Let go of the past. Your past mistakes and imperfections don’t need you anymore. Cut the cords physically & energetically. Embrace your humanness. Mistakes are normal. Imperfections are part of what makes you, YOU. Everything is an experience. That’s it. You can choose & begin again every day.
  • Accept that some people won’t like you no matter what you do. All that matters is you love YOU. People view you from their own lens of life experience & trauma. We do this to others too. So think about that before you go to judge someone. Don’t waste your time trying to please people who are impossible to please or people who just aren’t that important to you. Being yourself means you have to give up your people-pleasing ways and embrace your authentic self. People pleasing leads to you losing yourself & ultimately building resentment.
  • Make JOY & fun unapologetic priorities. We were meant to live this life in Joy. Put something you love & look forward to on your agenda every week. Anticipation is a key stage in helping you feel happiness; by having something to look forward to, no matter what your circumstances, you bring happiness into your life well before the event actually takes place. That’s you vibrating those happy feelings we all want which helps us attract abundance into all areas of our lives.
  • Practice gratitude. Gratitude is one of the simplest ways to focus on the good in yourself and in your life. Name at least 3 things you’re grateful for when you wake up every morning. Flood your mind & morning with positive quotes, images, intentions for your day. This is an enormous part of my morning routine. I speak out everything I’m grateful for no matter how silly they seem. I can’t tell you how many times I say, “Thank you God & Universe” during my days. And it has made all the positive difference. Even for small things like a light turning green, or a parking space, or bills or expenses that enable me to live a life of comfort & joy.

Here are some things I like to do that help me live in positivity & gratitude:

  • Waiting in a checkout line, compliment someone. Acknowledge people & say good morning. Buy someone’s groceries or coffee. Be kind to the homeless & less fortunate.
  • Leave sweet notes for your partner, spouse, kids, roommates, coworkers, etc telling them how much you appreciate them. Send a kind text.
  • Send people gifts on Amazon. OMG, one of my favorite things to do! Get their address & send them something to brighten their day! You can do this anywhere & anytime without even leaving home or getting out of your pj’s!
  • Tip well & express gratitude for exceptional service. Give well deserved reviews. I do this at restaurants, bars, on instacart & amazon, surveys about services.
  • Thank the Universe, God, Collective- whatever & whoever you believe in for letting you live another day.
  • Thank Mother Earth & farmers for our food.
  • Express your appreciation for the weather.
  • Daily, write down at least 3 things you feel grateful for.
  • Look in the mirror & appreciate all the miraculous things your body does for you. What do you love about yourself?
  • Open the door for people. Help the elderly. Talk to everyone no matter who they are. Tell people who serve you THANK YOU!
  • Take nurturing, loving care of your body! Y’all, health is truly priceless & your greatest wealth. Give yourself the gift of feeling physically strong & thriving – move, exercise regularly, eat healthfully, hydrate, get 7-8 hours of sleep most nights, say no to gluttony, & minimize alcohol &/or other numbing mechanisms. The most successful, happy people are those with daily success habits & a routine that helps them thrive!
  • Write yourself a love letter. Get it out, you’re amazing! This puts all the wonderful intentions out there & that’s what you’ll attract back to you. We attract what we ARE. Attraction also includes the words ACTION. Do the things that embody the person you desire to be. Repeat this list in the mirror every morning. Write them out on post it notes & put them where you can see them.
  • Surround yourself with a nurturing, up leveling environment. This includes everything you consume: people, books, movies, social media, food, drink, jobs, where you live, where you hang out, etc. Who you spend time with reflects how you feel about yourself. People who feel worthy surround themselves with positive people. Sometimes loving yourself means you have to end relationships & things & let them go. Let them go with LOVE.


Things that keep me HIGH VIBE⚡️✨:

Pinterest scripting (saving photos I wanna manifest & those that make me feel AMAZING, LUSCIOUS, VIBRANT, EMPOWERED, etc)

High vibe music

Exercise, walking, nature

Infrared sauna, red light therapy 

Positive podcasts & audiobooks

Coloring & Canva design

Talking to my people, writing

Smiling at someone, hugging

Doing something kind for someone 

Gratitude shower 

Putting on makeup, hair/wardrobe accessories 

Dressing in sparkly vibrant clothes/jewelry

Massage, Doing my nails, lash & hair extensions

Organizing & cleaning my space 

Wearing certain colors #colortherapy 


Start with the ones that feel easiest for you & work on something new every week. A reminder you can do hard things, especially when the hardest thing feels like loving YOU.

oxox Coach K

All link, services, coaching, free content & discount codes here!

Hailing from Fishers, Indiana, Katie is an aficionado of healthcare, fitness, & personal development.

You can find her personal weight loss & healing story here.

She’s been involved in travel nursing & radiography for 20 years! She’s a writer, connection maker, nutritionist, & entrepreneur who loves helping others & squeezing every drop out of life!

Katie grew up on her family’s beef cattle & crop farm where agriculture & healthcare were her first loves.

She is a Purdue University graduate well known for her storytelling of life lessons & personal transformation with weight loss & Crohn’s disease.

She competed as a competitive CrossFit athlete in her early 30’s. After decades of struggling with her own health issues from Crohn’s, obesity, disordered eating, infertility, & hormonal imbalances, she is passionate about helping others find self-love, achieve their health & business goals, & create sustainable success habits for an EXTRAordinary life!

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Top Strategies That Actually Helped Me Beat Sugar Cravings, Heal My Gut, Lose Body Fat & Love Myself

top strategies that actually helped me beat sugar, heal my gut, lose body fat & love myself

Worrying about my weight was the epicenter of my life for as long as I can remember for about 3 decades. I’m 40 years young today 🙂

From an early age, I struggled with food & body image issues. From being told I needed to lose weight by my doctor to being called chubby by friends & family…well, that stuff sticks with a young, impressionable girl.

I remember counting calories excessively in high school & college, & seriously undereating, especially as I transitioned into a more competitive CrossFit athlete in my early 30’s. I was severely under fueling & my health suffered metabolically, hormonally, & digestively.

In the past, I experimented with Weight Watchers & other extreme diets like crazy “detoxes” & diet pills. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve even bought “tummy-slimming” teas & would exercise for hours to burn off calories. I also suffered with binge eating & bulimia.

Having such obsessive, restrictive thoughts around losing weight made health & fitness feel like a chore. But, upon approaching my late 30s, I had a miraculous epiphany: I needed to fully change my mindset & lifestyle in order to embrace new habits & become the abundant, healthy version of ME!

Once I cultivated these important mindset & lifestyle shifts, I lost weight without thinking much about it 7 have kept it off for over 3 years adopting the carnivore WOE (way of eating).

I hope you find what works for you & these tips can serve as a beacon of hope! 

Resources to help you are available in the link in my IG bio. My DM’s are also always open to listen!

  • top strategies that actually helped me beat sugar, heal my gut, lose body fat & love myself

4 Important Mindset Shifts That Actually Helped Me Lose Weight

  1. “All or Nothing” Perfection → Grace with Myself: When I attempted to lose weight before, I maintained a toxic, all-or-nothing mentality that left me striving for unattainable perfection. If my diet started that day & I “fkd up” by eating ice cream or not exercising, I would mentally beat myself up. The perfection mindset made me crazy & left me in a constant cycle of yo-yo dieting. But when you have grace you understand that you are just a human, doing your very best. If you miss a workout one day, it’s okay. You can always try again tomorrow. Perfection is not the expectation — progress is.
  2. Exercise as a Punishment → Exercise as a Celebration: Far too often do we allow ourselves to view exercise as an obligation or worse — a punishment. With this connotation of it, why would we ever want to exercise? Back in college, I would force myself to run 5 miles on a treadmill every weekday. Why? To punish myself for the calories I ate or drank the day prior. When I shifted my mindset to seeing exercise as a celebration rather than a punishment, I started finding workouts I loved, rather than workouts where I felt I was going through the motions. Soon, I started finding gratitude in movement. Gratitude for my body, its strength, & what it could do. I started finding joy, especially with the release of intoxicating endorphins.
  3. Viewing Food as a Treat or Reward → Viewing Food as Fuel & Eating Healthy as a Form of Self-Love: Once you start eating a little healthier, something beautiful happens: you start to feel better, overall. Your energy levels increase. Your mindset has newfound clarity, inflammation is down, your gut feels better. Feeling these natural benefits to eating well made me want to continue doing it, as it was no longer an obligation, treat, or reward. It was a form of self-love & life fuel to be my best! Food is not a treat, reward, or something that needs burned off. It literally makes US! The better I felt the more I began to love myself exactly how I am.
  4. Numbers-Focused → Feeling-Focused: Seeing the numbers can make us feel like we’re on the right track. But, weight fluctuates hour-by-hour. If you’re constantly stepping on the scale to gauge your progress, you may feel defeated more often than not. That was the case for me, I had to take to take a break & make peace with the scale. Instead, I started viewing numbers simply as data, I took the emotion out of it & focused on how my body & mind were feeling. How did I feel during & after my workouts? How was my sleep? How did I feel after consuming certain foods & drinks? Staying attuned to my feelings helped me gauge my progress more than the numbers on a scale ever could.

Lifestyle Changes That Actually Helped Me Lose Weight

  1. Low intensity, stress relieving movement all day: Our bodies were not made to be sloths. Break up periods of sitting. Ideally, for every 25–30 minutes that you sit, you should move for 5 minutes. But at an absolute minimum, get up every hour. I have a non-negotiable goal of taking at least 10-15k steps/d. Find a goal that is achievable for you — something you can achieve every day, but not too easy. Set alarms if you have to. I walk circles around my CT machine & around the building in between patients at work. I also workout in the morning.
  2. Weightlifting – pick heavy sh*t up & put it down: Lifting weights is an effective way to increase metabolic efficiency, as well as increase muscle mass. The more muscle mass you have, the more calories you will burn on a daily basis. Lift heavy things 2–3d/wk. Focus on compound movements, such as the big 5 — deadlift, back squat, bench press, barbell row, & overhead press. These movements engage a lot of your muscles all at once, making the lifting benefits even greater.
  3. Get your heart rate up a few times per week: One of the biggest benefits of getting your heart rate up (HIIT) is its impact on boosting the metabolism. Not only does it burn more calories than steady-state cardio of equal length, but you will also continue burning calories long after your workout is finished. Incorporate cardiac conditioning into your workout regime, 1–2x/wk. If you like group classes, there are tons available out there like CrossFit, F45, Orange Theory, Spin, etc. You can also YouTube & Google search HIIT workouts! Do your own life admin.
  4. Reduce sugar, processed food, & veggie oils: I’ve adopted the carnivore diet as my lifestyle of choice to suit my Crohn’s disease & special autoimmune needs. Sugar is highly inflammatory, & leads to large blood glucose spikes & crashes. This can lead to issues such as insulin sensitivity & diabetes, & an inflamed body is more likely to put on fat & hold onto it. Processed foods & vegetable oil essentially clog up your metabolism & makes it really hard for your body to burn its own stored fat for fuel.
  5. Eat optimal protein: Protein is vital, whether we’re exercising or not. It is the building block of our tissues, from muscle & skin to our DNA. Protein also has a thermic effect, meaning we burn calories breaking down protein during digestion & metabolizing; protein takes energy to digest. Furthermore, protein is highly filling, meaning if we’re eating adequate protein, we’re likely to be too full for other, less healthy foods. Aim to consume at least 30g-50g of protein at each meal during the day. Pick a meal routine that works best for you. Most have 2-3 meals/d. The primary driver of muscle protein synthesis is leucine (an amino acid), not total protein. We need 3g of leucine to trigger MPS. Protein is ~10% leucine, so we need to eat 30g+ of protein to hit this.

Tips & Final Thoughts

  • Get the trigger foods & temptations out of your house & environment. Set your environment up for success. Communicate your needs to family, friends, & coworkers if you need to but remember you don’t owe anyone anything or an explanation. You are ultimately in charge of what you put in your body.
  • Remind yourself you’re not going to stay stuck in the restrict/reward/binge cycles because they do not serve you in a positive light. Our habits make US. Thoughts & the story we tell ourselves become our reality. So what are you telling yourself?
  • Do not “save” calories, excessively fast, or let yourself get too hungry in between meals or social functions. Eat regularly scheduled meals centered around protein. Keep meats on hand & meals simple.
  • The answer is always WALK & SLEEP! We tend to think we’re hungry or need carbs/sugar when we get bored, we feel we lack purpose, we’re thirsty, we’re stressed, lacking sleep, numbing emotions, & wired ourselves to want these things like after dinner, in front of the tv, in certain social situations, or if we see or smell food.
  • Make sure you’re eating enough food to support optimal body function and your activity level. Under eating is a huge culprit of disordered eating, metabolic & hormonal imbalances. Also make sure you’re getting ample fat. Add fat like butter & tallow to meals if you have to. Choose higher fat meats like ribeyes, ribs, salmon, 80% ground meats & whole eggs. If you’re constipated, adding fat will help that too.
  • Remove or significantly minimize artificial sweeteners. The more sweet things you consume, the more your brain is wired to want them. The sweet taste is like a drug, it’s a dopamine hit. Especially if you’re an abstainer when it comes to food. The “right” way is to abstain – that’s what that means. It’s ok if you’re not a moderator, you’re not alone. Do what you need to do to be successful.
  • If you’re bored with your food, increase your variety of meats, change the way you cook them, add different seasonings. Be mindful of cheese & dairy too, they are also addictive similar to sugar. You can airfry, pan fry, bake, instapot, slow cook, crockpot, smoke, grill, etc. There are tons of seasonings without carbs & all kinds of different meats & eggs. If you manage to resist & reset, the cravings will get weaker over time & eventually disappear, I promise!

oxox Coach K

Coaching, guides, & helpful supplement discount links here!

bio carnivore lilbitoffit katie kelly indiana fishers
Hoosier farm girl & Purdue University grad, Katie is a multifaceted human!

She’s a nutritionist, radiologic technologist, motivational speaker & writer, brand growth consultant, & connection maker working with individuals, businesses, organizations, & executives.
She specializes in mental health, IBS/IBD conditions, sports nutrition, disordered eating & how to organize/optimize life for better health, increased wealth, & happiness!
Katie welcomes all preferences & skill levels with a no diet dogma or one size-size-fits-all approach to health, fitness, & nutrition.
After decades of struggling with her own health issues from Crohn’s, obesity, disordered eating, infertility, hormonal imbalances, & being a competitive athlete, she is passionate about helping others find self love, achieve their goals, & create sustainable success habits for an EXTRAordinary life!
You can find her on the gram at http://www.instagram.com/lil_bit_of_fit
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Advice and affirmations successful people remind themselves

All right squad it’s time to get our mind right for the week!!! #mindsetmonday

A few pages of advice & affirmations some people take a lifetime to learn. These are things successful people remind themselves on the daily. 

SWIPE, save, tag, share on IG! What’s mine is yours🤗 Use this to help someone else today!

Take time to count your blessings, we always have something to be grateful for.

I’m extremely grateful for all the wonderful opportunities & people coming into my life. It’s scary & I have no idea where I’m going or exactly what Im meant to do but I’m rollin with it. 🤘🏻 

So here’s your permission to do the same if you need it. 

I don’t know about y’all but I have been feeling hopeful, happy, excited, confused, & everything in between & some days I feel like I’m just trying not to lose my sh*t.

Uplevels & transformation are uncomfortable AF.🤷‍♀️ 

During these times this is what I remind myself, + affirmations⬇️

I’m here for it.

I’m ready.

I’m safe & supported.

I’m surrendered.

I’m whole.

I am Love.

I am wealthy, healthy,  joyful, able, abundant & prosperous.

I am worthy simply because I exist.

I am me & nobody can be me.

I’m blaming the full moon 🌕😆

Know you’re not alone.

Sending all the love & hugs! 

I wanna know at least one thing you’re grateful for below⬇️ 

Oxox Coach K

All link, guides, coaching, & free stuff here

Join my email fam here

Apply for Coaching here

#positiveaffirmations #positivevibes #Chooseyouradventure #lifelessons #wordstoliveby #successroutine #thoughtsbecomethings #manifestabundance #manifestyourlife #fullmoon