Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
Nothin like a 1st calf heifer bringin life into this world unassisted!
Video cred to my dad @bryankelly8261 I was like holy sh*t, dad posted a video on Instagram!
As my 👼🏻🙏Papaw, Jerome W. would say, “Good worker.”
To quote one of my favorite movies, “You can take the girl outta the Honkytonk, but you can’t take the Honkytonk outta the girl,” -Sweet Home Alabama
You know those places.
Those places your heart is the happiest & at peace.
For those of you who may not know I basically WAS raised in a barn. Kelly Farms has been in the family name for almost 160 years.
My first love was agriculture & cattle, it’s all I ever knew growing up. 10 years in 4-H, 4 in the FFA, president of my chapters, top of my livestock & crop judging teams.
I was raised by the toughest & hardest working parents & we were raised right. We knew what the 10 Commandments were & the golden rule & we respected our elders. I am beyond grateful. Unfortunately the world today is very different.
Not a day goes by I am not thankful for the parents & life that taught me the value of hard work.
That taught me to experience the circle of life, appreciation for the land & livestock, the feeling of running your hand thru the hair of your new 4-H calf & the feel of pride & the velvety purple champion banner after putting in blood, sweat, time, & tears.
That taught me knowledge + application was power➡️education was a priority but you still needed common sense & real life sh*t skills, too.
That showed me unconditional love, how to be resilient & disciplined, & still teach me life lessons today.
My daddy taught me to let my roots run deep & mama taught me to let my heart have wings! ✨🐮🌱❤️✨
There hasn’t been a day of my life where I haven’t needed to read a quote, poem, affirmation, or beautiful words from a talented creator to express how I feel, give me a hug, punch me in the gut, break my heart, or put it back together.
Ya know what I mean?
Swipe for a couple of my favorites today, & this is one of my favorite pics taken of me.
I told a friend goin thru a break up I understood that hopeless pit feeling. I said, “I hope you find love, but most importantly, I hope you love yourself more to be strong enough to walk away from what love isn’t & find peace in the realization that you are already love everyday.”
— I needed to take my own advice.
In my 20s/early 30s I made plenty of bad decisions after my 1st divorce at 27.
Plenty of fast & furious acquaintances, some more longer-term, they all aided in growth (some more enjoyable than others 😂)
Hxll, let’s be honest, some I don’t even remember. It’s like that person you put in your phone as “Joe Bumble” or “Dude from Texas” 😆📲
I talked about this in therapy. My therapist said it’s because when I was younger I didn’t believe I was worthy of love I desired.
Which is why I picked men that were not on my level, & to be frank, EASY for me. 🤦🏼♀️fxck me.
She said now I’m “selective & guarded”because I’m actually afraid I might find someone & be forced to choose between my happiness & freedom of autonomy & that person.
I’m afraid to make the same mistakes like being a people pleaser & losing myself. Losing the beautiful life I’ve created.
One of the major reasons I struggled with singleness when I was young was because I didn’t have a life that I truly enjoyed. Sure, I had stuff that I did because I had to (school, work, farm chores) & a few friends to hang out with, but there was so much down time where I was alone with my thoughts.
And in that down time, I wasn’t nurturing myself. I was still searching for someone to build a home in.
Unfortunately, with women, there is so much emphasis put on being “picked” that most of us focus the majority of our energy on that, controlling our bodies, & not enough on creating a bomb a$$ life for ourselves.
Ladies, stop being the hopeless romantic woman who tends to do the bare minimum when it comes to life because y’all are waitin for your prince charming to come sweep you off your feet.
Build your own life 1st, THEN find someone just as BombDiggity as you to build a life with. And that may be for a season, it may be for a lifetime. Define your relationships however you want.
I encourage all the single women & men reading this to begin to create a life that YOU live (while in your singleness). The right man or woman who comes along will just ADD to the enjoyment…but they won’t be the creator of it.
I’ve reached this “weird” stage in my life where I simply want the people around me to be happy & feel good about themselves – same for me. I’ve spent the majority of my life wanting people to think that I’m special.
Aging isn’t all that bad y’all. I feel I’ve fully embraced the phrases, “With age comes wisdom” & “Like a fine wine.” My 20 year old self would never be able to give less f*cks about things like what others think of her or be ok with telling someone to f*ck off that needed to be told to f*ck off without batting an eye. Ya know what I mean? 🤷♀️ 💁🏼♀️You?! I’ve never understood how people fear getting older. Guess it’s a combo of being stuck in the past & FOMO? Perhaps the most reflective & effective exercise I’ve developed as I’ve aged is paying attention to the little words & phrases I’ve either heard or said that light people up. A simple smile, phrase, or kind word can change your day! Y’all know I preach the power of thoughts & words, why not use them for good? So I wrote down a few of my favorites to share today. These phrases aren’t designed to help you get laid (…or maybe they will? 🤔 I dunno…you’re welcome?!😜) or manipulate someone from a negative place. They are simply a collection of phrases I know I love to hear. They make people smile. They make me smile.
“You are amazing!”
“I believe in you!”
“I was thinking about you.”
“I appreciate you.”
“I value your opinion.”
“That means a lot coming from you.”
“Thank you.”
“I miss you!.”
“I admire __ about you.”
“I love your energy!”
“I saw this & it reminded me of you.”
“Thank you for being such a wonderful human.”
“This world is a better place simply because you’re in it.” As a kicker: 4 words that have changed my life & may be something you need to hear today too… “Be kind to yourself.” 🥰 …and heck, let’s add “Don’t be a d*ck.” in there too. 🙃😄 oxox Sorta Sweet, Sorta Beth Dutton Coach K
“I embrace uncertainty and uncomfortable life situations with courage. I face new experiences with my mind and heart wide open. I choose growth and expansion with roots that run deep & a heart with great wings.”
Home Sweet Home
The roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important places you’re meant to be.
Had a chat with a follower this morning and she said she just felt lost and asked how I found my way to my present day life. She asked what it was like growing up as a Farmer’s daughter.
I’ve posted about this before. This mornin I glanced at the number of followers I had, 25K. Holy crap. It’s exciting & terrifying at the same time.
Y’all are my digital family & I realize the last time I talked about this that was about 15,000 followers ago…
…and I felt the sense of humility, awe, & honor wash over me.
A lot of people over my 39 yrs have asked me:
“So what was it like growing up as a farmer’s daughter?” and “How did you get here?”
Never in a million years did I ever dream so many people would give a shit as to what I had to say or felt.
Walmart & hand me down born y’all. Raised on Spam, bologna & cheese, baby. 🥪
Humble beginnings🙏🏻🇺🇸 & if you ask me how to prepare tofu or fake meat I’m gonna tell you to throw it in the trash.
Eat your BEEF.
If you’re new here, I’m not one to sugarcoat, literally or metaphorically, so if you’re lookin for a watered down PC version of a girl who simply poses in her underwear & posts nothin but a inspirational quote without grit, purpose & somethin to say behind what she shares…go somewhere else.
And if you don’t like what you see on my feed or what my followers support, bless your heart, go somewhere else.
It’s hard to sum up completely to do it justice on the impact of the roads less traveled in my life but here goes…
Being raised on a beef cattle & crop farm in small town USA, Indiana, is one of my favorite things in the world. It’s the dirt, literally, I grew my life on.
Not only are my parents my heros, my teachers, my protectors, & my role models — they are my best friends & easily the hardest working people I’ve ever met in my life.
Doesn’t mean we’ve always seen eye to eye, doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten my a$$ kicked a time or 2 (or 10 😂). I always know I have a forever home to go back to.
And that doesn’t always mean a piece of land but the people. My family & friends that would become family are where my home is.
My dad & mom taught me 2 of the coolest jobs in the world — a farmer & what it means to be a caretaker.
I don’t think you fully realize as a kid the impact & importance of growing up rural, provided for but not rich in terms of money by any means, & being a caretaker of people, animals, & the land.
Now, thinkin back when other kids at school talked about what their parents did — doctors, lawyers, business people (all great professions, no disrespect) — how incredible is it that I got to say my parents help feed the world?
Pretty fxckin awesome if I don’t say so myself.
From early mornins & late nights workin cattle, to vacations being whatever cattle show we were going to, I was taught always be the hardest worker in the room & your character & integrity are everything — nothin has shaped my life & personality more.
Things I learned:
work 1st, play 2nd, family is everything
don’t leave the gate open. Ever. But learn to live like someone left the gate open
strength is everything. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
just when you think they won’t do you like that, a mf will def do you like that. Be honest & keep your integrity.
if you can handle weaning calves with your family, you can do anything.
how to cook, clean, drive, & do your laundry by the age of 10
the circle of life & being tough
keep your skin thick & immunity high, rub some dirt on it
importance of seasons
the feel of rubbin your fingers through a calf’s hair & the soft feel of holding a purple champion banner after working your a$$ off
you’re never too good to pray or better than anyone else
nothin tastes better than an ice cold crown and Coke, cheap pizza, & home grown meats after a hard days work sitting on a show box or tailgate, dirty af, with your people
Hats off to all my fellow farm people & livestock people, you’re the best in the world!
The second half of her question, how I got here?
My first job ever was working on the family farm.
My second was working as a lab assistant in an animal science lab at Purdue University where I graduated magna cum laude with a bachelors of science degree.
My third job was a vet tech.
My fourth was a well-paying job with a pharmaceutical company after landing a competitive internship.
I hated it.
I was making good money but I was miserable. It was cut throat, money & number driven, & I felt like I wasn’t helping anyone.
I felt lost.
After swallowing my pride & many tears later, I made the decision my happiness was worth more than a paycheck.
I went back to doing what I loved, which was healthcare — went back to working as a vet tech. And for anyone who has worked in this field, you know we don’t do it for the paycheck or benefits. We do it for love.
I married a farmer young at 22 (divorced at 27). Self employed, we needed insurance & benefits. So being the martyr & people pleaser I was — I made another sacrifice & got a job as a phlebotomist in patient access at a local hospital.
Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I met my second love — healthcare, for my first will always & forever be agriculture.
I’ve worked in healthcare now for 16 years, it’s been full of struggles, numerous jobs, healthcare facilities, positions, learning new skills, a lot of tears & a lot of time aboard the hot mess express — with my health, personal life, relationships, my addictions, disordered eating, shitty mindset syndrome, debt, & trying to figure out what the fugg my purpose was.
I then fell in love with CrossFit & nutrition in my early 30’s & the rest was history.
I now balance my personal business as a blogger/nutritionist/coach along with being a radiographer, the best career in the world & I love it.
Guess what? I’m still getting my shit together! 😂 It’s a forever process because we never stay the same, we’re always evolving.
You only fail if you stay stagnant & fail to learn the lessons.
If you have a goal & are pulled to something bigger than yourself, if you have something you really really want — GO FOR IT!
I was once told, “You will never make it without me.”
Deuces✌🏻 I think I’m doin all right 😉
No obstacle will stay in your path if you have the strength to find the solution to go around it & an appreciation of your story along the way.
The roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important places you’re meant to be.❤️
Had a message recently from a woman who asked me how she could feel like a woman of worth walking into a room.
Some deep sh*t, right?! I’m thinkin now what kind of baggage do we have to unpack for this one? 🤔😆cause we all got our bags.
So I brainstormed.
It really comes down to charisma & mental toughness. As you sharpen your ability to be more charismatic, you open up so many more doors for yourself.
The work is dirty. It may hurt. It may make your eyes well up. And it’s absolutely necessary sometimes to find your sparkle ❇️
A lil bit about my story…
This child was called fat. This child was called ugly. This child felt she would never be the girl that sparkles when she enters a room. This child is me.
I was told to lose weight & I tried to diet before I was ten years old. My self-esteem & body issues started at 8 years old.
I hated my body.
I was told on numerous accounts, “If you just lost weight, you would be as pretty as all the other girls in school.”
Hurt like a bxtch every time.
Translated into: You’re not special. You won’t be successful &/or loved unless you’re thin & look the part.
Swipe through the slides on IG, continued with much love, growth, & inspiration on your Monday❤️ I’ll add the content & slides below for my non-social media peeps.
Oxoxo Coach K
Tap for full slides and post on IG
5 habits I learned that make you the most charismatic mofo in the room
You Listen More Than You Speak
You like to be heard & understood, right?! Take time to lend a listening ear.
The most interesting person in the room is the most interested. Be curious about what other people have to say. The best way to learn is to listen.
I’ve found this also keeps you from saying something ignorant or rude. LOL! Goes both ways too. Sometimes you gotta let someone else make their own mistakes, that’s how we learn.
This also allows you to listen to your own thoughts before you respond. You’ll be amazed the things you learn & notice when you observe. Be hungry AND humble.
How You Do It:
Let the other person finish before you reply.
Empathize with what they have to say.
Reflect on what they said later & how you can apply this to your own life.
“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” Bryant H. McGill
You Love Yourself As You Are
You see yourself as a confident, smart, & uniquely amazing human. You understand this is not being selfish, but necessary. You catch yourself before letting self sabotaging thoughts take over, you pause & say “I’m worthy simply because I exist.”
You carry yourself like a high value human with purpose. You believe in yourself & your ability to achieve anything in this world. You wake up to positive, healthy affirmations, thoughts, & gratitude about yourself & life before starting your day.
You’re confident affirming things like, “Everyone likes to be around me because I’m me.” & “I’m attractive, confident, successful, abundant, & able.” You do not align to speak negative words to yourself because you know words have power & thoughts become things.
How You Do It:
Affirm kind words to yourself every day & visualize becoming better!
“Self-confidence is a superpower. Once you start to believe in yourself, the magic starts happening.” Unknown.
You Realize Emotions Are Fleeting
Charismatic people are calm, collected, & confident in challenging situations. You choose to seek solutions & embrace rock bottoms & “failures” as lessons, simply experiences, & opportunities for growth instead of shame.
You know that emotions & motivation aren’t always logical, they’re ever changing. You understand motivation is unreliable but discipline will get it done. Cultivate discipline & you can do anything despite motivation or lack of.
You live by the 4 Agreements & never take anything personally.
When your emotions are being challenged in a moment, you handle it like a PRO not an AMATEUR.
How You Do It:
Pause & take a deep/slow breath before reacting. Add self care everyday & fill your cup. Remind yourself anything meant for you will not miss you & a no means there’s something better.
“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron.
You Speak Up Confidently & Clearly
Frankly you don’t give a sh*t about what people say about you or your experiences. You trust & stand strong in your word, worth, creditability, & authenticity.
You’re okay with learning, apologizing, & constructive criticism. You’re not quick to judge, seek first to understand, & understand hurt people hurt people. Always choose to high road & remember the Law of Karma.
Practice expressing what you’re passionate about. Journal your thoughts & opinions. Push yourself outside your comfort zone, no matter how shaky your legs are, that’s how your grow & find answers.
“You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that makes you laugh.” Joe Rogan.
You Live By The Golden Rule
Golden Rule, precept in the Gospel of Matthew (7:12): “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” You treat everyone with kindness & respect, even if you’ve been wronged. You make sure everyone feels welcomed in a room & genuinely want to get to know people every day. You smile at everyone you meet.
John Antonakis from the University of Lausanne has studied charisma for over a decade. He stated, “Charismatic leaders can be loved by those who share their values & loathed by those who don’t.” You, however, focus on adding value to the lives of everyone around you. You also remember to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Don’t let the hate of this world stop you from being kind.
How You Do It:
Greet everyone with a smile. Be present, engage in conversation, make eye contact. Be supportive of your fellow human, there’s more than enough abundance in this world.
“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Albert Einstein.
Final Thoughts
You can be charismatic no matter who you are or where you come from. Charisma is a skill that can be taught & developed. It will become second nature after repetition just like anything else.
You could change someone’s life just by lending a listening ear, sharing your story, inspiring someone else by your discipline, speaking & standing up for your beliefs, & treating others as you would wish to be treated or better.
And here’s your reminder you’re badass no matter what.
Listen, I have “Crossfit boobs.” Aka card toting member of the #ittybittycommittee to all my newbies round here…confessions of another dirty bathroom photo + Pete 🐈⬛
I am 55lbs lighter now than my heaviest weight. I’m 5’1… snack sized, fun sized, been called a spinner before 💁🏼♀️whatever you wanna call it 😂
Our bodies change hourly sometimes.
I do not have flat abs by the end of the day typically. Y’all it’s called food & we gotta eat. You didn’t get “fat” in that hour, you just ate & lived.
The majority of the time I haven’t washed my hair in a week (I really do only wash it once a week) & I’m standing here in my @jcpenney underwear & @kincaidsmeatmarket in Fishers
I’m lucky to wash my face at night because I’m lazy af & work 60 hrs a week. I need to do better on this account 😂 🧼 Dirtball status x10
Being a sustainable lifestyle lean, eating food ya love, having a supportive community & relationships you love, movin your body & doing workouts you love, havin purpose, fulfillment, & happiness are so much sweeter than any piece of cake or savory piece of bacon or any shredded ab or muscle striation I could ever have.
I’m telling you this because I know there are a lot of you in the same spot I was. Still self sabotaging on the weekends.
I spent decades fighting against my body’s needs. Chronically dieting, eating food that triggered tons of physical & emotional problems, getting nowhere. Nowhere but pissed off until I learned about food, owned what diet & fitness I wanted to do, how to periodize my nutrition properly, & the fact I actually needed to EAT.
In all reality it took me a decade to build the body that you see in front of you.
It’s really simple now guys I just eat meat because I love it & it makes me feel good. And I eat a lot of it. At least 2lbs a day. Some days that I’m really hungry I can smash 3lbs & I’m 105lbs. You can eat & eat well.
THINGS YOU LOSE CHRONICALLY WORRYING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT:
🦄Your vibrance
🦄Your joy
🦄Your clarity
🦄Your flexibility
🦄Your mind
🦄Your relationships
🦄Your energy
🦄Your life
Remember, the diet you follow doesn’t matter. Your ability to adhere to that diet protocol does. Your body’s metabolic state & ability to appropriately adjust to that diet does.
Here’s your reminder: Don’t spend your life fighting against yourself. You have so much more to offer the world than worrying about what someone else thinks of you.
4 things to be grateful for: what you currently have, where you currently are, how far you’ve come, & the person you’re becoming.
If you had told me 2+ yrs ago I would be where I am today, I would’ve told you you were crazy.
2 yrs ago I was 37, 20lbs heavier, married, confused af, still trying to find my way in life, food, & fitness.
I realize as the woman standing here today, 39, 20lbs lighter, divorced…I will always be finding my way in life, food, & fitness & that’s ok.
Realize change takes a lot longer thank you think and it’s a life long process.
This is my year of ‘I want to…’, not ‘I should…’⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If I can teach you anything today let it be this…stop ‘shoulding’ yourself.
Things that helped me to stop the shoulding:
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1. Align with your values. When your actions are aligned with your highest values, then you’ll be assured you’re ‘doing the best that you can with what you’ve got at that time.’ By living a values-driven life, there will be less room for the word ‘should’ in your vocab.
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2. Strengthen your relationship with Self Trust & Self Awareness. Listen to your intuition & allow it to guide you. Spend time alone to reflect on all the moments that you have listened to your gut & it’s served you well. That’s your proof.
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3. Talk to yourself. Notice the times your self-talk involves the word ‘should’ – because change will only happen with awareness. Being aware of your inner critic will allow your inner-nurturer to appear.
Things to tell yourself:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“This is good enough & I am ok with it.”
“I am doing my best.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“I am more than enough.”
“I don’t owe anyone anything. I validate myself.”
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By ditching the word ‘should,’ you start nurturing the badass that you truly are ❤️🔥
We weren’t meant to live in a constant state of restriction. Feeling like sh*t, no energy no matter how many coffee or Bangs I shoved down my pie hole, chronic constipation, no body comp changes, cold all the freakin time – THAT was my normal back in the day.
I committed every sin I’ve talked about here on the interwebs. I used to CrossFit my a$$ off hours a day 7 d/wk on 1500 calories, eating all the carbs & plants, wrecking me mentally & physically. I wondered why I could never recover & I never looked “jacked” like other female athletes that weren’t working “half as hard” & eating twice as much as me.
Like a fine wine bitches. 😉
Fast forward today, my 39 year old self finally fit the puzzle pieces together & learned not to fear food, not to see it as something I had to earn or burn off. I’m 5’1, 105lbs. I workout 5 d/wk, I lift & CrossFit, I walk a lot, and I eat ALOT. I avg 1850-2000 calories a day most days, primarily ground beef, eggs, lamb, & Perdue ground chicken.
Reminder, maintenance calories are how many calories we can eat in a day & maintain optimal body function without seeing any changes to muscle & fat composition. In other words, chillin like a villain.
If you’re eating below where you need to be calorically & basically feeling the exact opposite of the signs we’re talkin about in the slides of this post, you most likely need to do what’s called a reverse diet. Don’t know how? I have a whole 354 page EGuide with a section dedicated to this very subject.
Included are some things you may not want to hear:
A healthy body loses body fat & any weight you gain in the process of gaining health is weight you needed to gain.
It may take years to get the body you want going through numerous periodization cycles.
There is a cost to being a certain level of lean.
That athletic body you covet just may weigh more than you think.
Unless you’re a newbie & never worked out before or dieted, fat loss takes a calorie deficit, muscle gain takes at least maintenance & more likely surplus. Pick one. You cannot do both at the same time.
Also, our bodies are all different. What weight & body fat % one person is might work great for them as far as hormonal & metabolic health, others it may not be optimal & you may need to eat more to remedy any issues.
And if you refuse to eat more when you need to restore your health, you have far pressing more important issues than looking good in a bikini.
Honestly, I think one of the most empowering things you can do to remove weight is to separate what you view as a negative thing or quality from your identity.
Instead of saying things like:
My life sucks
I’m fat, lazy, a failure, a loser, etc
I can’t
I’m unlovable, unsuccessful
I’m not special
I’m weak
or whatever the hell ya wanna put here…
Recognize the feeling & frame it as an action or quality that you are consciously working on rather than an unchangeable part of who you are. It’s not who you are, it’s what you feel you are. Feelings are fleeting & malleable.
I want you to repeat everyday, & I DGAF if you think it’s stupid, it will change your life if you believe:
“Everyday in every way I am better and better.” – that’s it.
Today’s Message…
The Universe always replaces what exists in your life with something bigger and better, only if you believe. Release what’s stuck, release holding on to the past or resisting change. Welcome new skin & new energy. Let go of what needs to be removed. There’s great blessings in surrendering & allowing the Universe to take care of you.
Tap for full post on IG
Swipe, save, tag, & you have my permission to share freely…to all humans out there just tryna be better.
