Tag: Self Love

Had a message recently from a woman who asked me to list the one thing she needed to do to lose weight & be successful in life.

I thought, “Dayum, that’s a deep one.” I don’t have enough space on Instagram to answer this one!

So I brainstormed. Came up with one thing I felt could help you achieve & overcome anything in life. It’s dirty. It hurts. It makes your eyes well up. And it’s absolutely necessary — mental toughness.

A lil bit about my story…

This child was called fat. This child was called ugly. This child felt she would never be the girl that sparkles when she enters a room. This child is me.

I was told to lose weight & I tried to diet before I was 10 years old. My self-esteem & body issues started at 8 years old.

I hated my body.

I was told on numerous accounts, “If you just lost weight, you would be as pretty as all the other girls in school.”
Hurt like a bxtch every time.
Translated into: you won’t be successful &/or loved unless you’re thin & look the part.

I thought something was truly wrong with me & wanted so badly to be as thin as the women in my Seventeen magazine, the stars I idolized, & my thin, popular classmates.

This turned into decades of disordered eating — anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, orthorexia, you name it. My body has been all shapes and sizes and everything in between. Not to mention struggling with Crohns, chronic bloating, gut issues, gi bleeding, constipation, inflammation, allergies, infertility, cervical cancer, renal stones, GERD, & a cholecystectomy.

After suffering from poor body image basically the majority of my 38 years on this earth, now, I stand as a woman who loves herself more than anyone else in the world.

I learned to finally love my body for the first time in my life. It felt like a breath of fresh air which also ushered in emotional & mental transformations. These in turn brought more abundance into my life.

I truly accepted my unique self, my mess of a message & didn’t feel the need to change it because of someone else’s opinion.

I changed my inner voice to self love & never looked back. I’ve lost 50lbs from my heaviest weight, the biggest weight lost being self loathing & doubt.

The one thing I needed to develop was the product of my struggles — mental toughness.

The one thing you have to have to be successful.

How did I do this?

It’s easy. No, really, it is. It takes some time, but if you commit to yourself every single day, you’ll get there.

When you see yourself in the mirror, what do you say?

Do you make negative comments on your appearance?

Maybe you see your stretch marks that you wish you could erase. I have’em. Call’em my tiger stripes.

Society makes us think that any “imperfection” we may have is something we need to fix.

Your “imperfections” are NOT something to be ashamed of or fixed. They make you — YOU.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, give yourself a compliment. Every time you feel a negative thought creep in, shut it down & replace it with a positive.  

If you hate your stretch marks, instead of thinking negatively about them, turn it into a positive & think about how it was an honor to stretch & grow your children or allow you to share your unique story to help another women hating hers. Some women can’t have children. Some women don’t know what it feels like to be overweight & hating themselves.

Or if you’ve struggled with gut issues & Crohns like me or any autoimmune or dis-ease, use your unique experiences to give others hope.

Fuel your fire y’all!
Use that passion to help someone else.
If someone asks you why you live & eat the way that you do, use that as an opportunity to educate them.

There was a time I was so afraid to gain a pound that I was eating about 800 calories a day.

Then I found CrossFit at 31, new obsessions appeared. I chased PR‘s & dug a hole so deep full of metabolic adaptation, gut & hormonal issues, working out for hours each day.

Although from the outside I looked “thin and healthy,” I was an absolute train wreck.

Still didn’t think I was successful at life, my relationships were less than optimal, I was in debt, my health was not good.

I basically put myself on the clearance rack.

You have to heal from the inside first. No matter what you look like on the outside or what the number says on the scale if you do not get to the root cause of any issue that brings negativity into your life, things will never change.

I started doing the inner work with a group called To Be Magnetic. I highly recommend checking them out, they changed my life.

They help me rewire my brain to one of lack to one of abundance & possibility. They helped me heal my trauma to step into the woman I am today. I’m confident and proud of my body!

— I payed off over $43,000 in debt during a pandemic
— I work three fulfilling jobs in radiology for 3 of the biggest healthcare networks in Indianapolis.

— I’m also a private health coach & able to make my own schedule in tandem with my love of healthcare.

— I love where I live, never thought I’d be able to afford a “bougie” apartment.

— My health & relationship with my body is better than it’s ever been.
— I’m surrounded by uplifting, successful, positive people. Cut out the toxicity.

— I unapologetically love myself more than anything in this world & I’m ok being alone. Learn to be your own best friend.

Realize life is an ongoing journey, there is no finish line, there are only experiences. And we are here to live in Joy.

Back to that mental toughness thing…

Qualities you need to develop mental toughness:

1.) Emotional Intelligence. It’s really the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them.

2.) Confidence.

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.” Henry Ford

Mentally tough people know that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed. Your confidence inspires others and helps them to make things happen.

3.) Ability to Remove Toxicity. Dealing with difficult people, self sabotaging habits, toxic environments are frustrating and exhausting. Be able to remove these from your life. You can’t grow in constant darkness, you also need the light.

4.) Saying No. Mentally tough people know that saying NO is healthy and absolutely necessary. Trust your gut. You don’t always owe people apologies either.

5.) Fear is the Source of Regret. When its all said and done, mentally tough people know the chances they didn’t take will haunt them far more than the risks. The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.

6.) Embrace Failure. Failure is the road success is paved on. It’s how you grow. Live and learn. Don’t dwell on mistakes.

7.) Choose Your Joy. When your life and satisfaction is derived from comparing yourself with others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. You do you, boo.

8.) Movement & Health. People who place priority on health and exercise feel more socially, intellectually, emotionally, and physically competent. Discipline also fuels mental toughness. The majority of the most successful people in the world have an exercise regimen. That means SLEEP too.

9.) Relentlessly Positive. Control what you can control, let go of the rest. 92% of your worry is wasted worry.

I hope this fueled the fxck out of your Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this for you and I can’t wait to chat with y’all via text, email, or social media!

My door is always open

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