Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
2 things I thought about this morning: 1. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you planned, it’s usually frustrating af first, yet somehow always turns out better. 2. Some people just feel different & are your once in a lifetime kind of people. As a younger version, I thought I’d be happily married for years, have that white picket fence, 2 kids, a dog, & happily ever after by 21. Let’s all laugh together, now. In reality, I’ll be 40 in July, I’ve been married & divorced twice. I’m single, have a cat named Pete, & struggled more years & cried more tears than you can shake a stick at. However, I’ve learned so much about myself, how to communicate with others, who I am & wanna continue to be. I learned how to nourish myself, climb my way out of $43,000 of debt, build a business & myself as a brand. I am proud of the successful life & woman molded out of the imperfection. Life doesn’t always resemble what you thought it might look like. Milestones move, perspectives change, the things we yearn for evolve. Some things break never to be fixed again & some things break to be rebuilt better than you ever could have imagined. Life doesn’t gift us with a peek around the corner to see how things will turn out. Life does, however, litter the journey with love, laughter, moments of joy that take your breath away, learning, & it always lands us right where we’re supposed to be in divine timing. You’ll meet people who can read your silence & make your thoughts feel heard. You’ll meet people for the first time that you feel like you’ve known forever & don’t need to hide from. These people are your most cherished safe place & your most exciting adventure. They feel like the sweet burn of a good bourbon that tastes like freedom & home. They may come in & flip your life on it’s head in the most unexpected, joyful, savory, luxurious ways possible. Let life flow like water. Roll with it like a boss. oxox Coach K
I asked an elderly patient years ago, “What is the most important thing you’ve learned in 85 years?” And she said somethin to me I’ll never forget that I also heard on a podcast the other day that brought back this memory, “One of the most important things I’ve learned is health is the crown on the well person’s head that only the sick person can see & wealth comes in many other more important forms than money.” Ooooof. Who else felt that? 👋 She went on to say, “I wished I had changed my perspective sooner. Mostly around the perception of being ‘wealthy’ & the perception that in order to be beautiful I had to be skinny. I realize I was always chasing a goal like being rich & losing as much weight as possible instead of embracing the experiences of the journey & being grateful for what I already had.” I don’t know about y’all but I love spending time with the elderly. They’re full of magical wisdom. 3 things I’ve learned in my 39 yrs on this earth I’ll share with you in hopes of you learning this sooner than I did: ➡️Joy, purpose, fulfillment (JPF) vs fame, fortune, applause (FFA). Which would you choose? I choose JPF because if you choose JPF the FFA will follow. ➡️Forms of wealth: self mastery, self awareness, family, health, your craft, personal development, money, time, freedom, charity, adventure, your circle of genius & environment ➡️Don’t lower your standards or standard of living to meet your income, raise your income & standards of living to meet your standards. ➡️If you’re gonna chase something, chase service. Because “To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell. We’re all gonna die what are you gonna leave behind? Abs, money in the bank, or the memories of a life well lived? Oxox Coach K Scrubs: @wearfigs I’m an XXS top, XXS petite bottom for reference (5’1, 105lbs)
I felt pretty #boilerup In transparency this photo was taken @officialsuntancity Yes I occasionally tan, it makes me happy. Not asking for your opinion here😉🤷♀️ I don’t claim to be a business coach or Instagram expert, but I have been an active member on this space for over 10 yrs. Had a flood of DM‘s centered around the topic of how to increase influence, exposure, & success via social media. Never in a million years did I think my digital platform (& life) would grow to where it is today. I’m flattered this many people actually give a sh*t as to what I have to share. Grateful to have y’all as part of my digital family! Y’all know I’m a responder by nature when it comes to communication. I like to provide what you want, so here are a few lessons I’ve learned along my journey in this digital world I feel you can also apply to life in various facets. Take what you need❤️ Above all➡️consistency & realness are🔑 You don’t need perfect photos or a professional photographer. Be creative. They make incredible phone cameras. Show up authentically! I love photo shoots personally, they give me such a sense of love & appreciation for myself as well as other people’s creative gifts, but they’re not necessary for credibility or worth nor do you need to do this to prove yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything. People wanna see the real you. And if you ask yourself, “What would people say if they met me in ‘real life’ vs social media?” & it isn’t a response of, “She/He is exactly how they are on social media!” — you have an issue & inner work to do. Like assessing: your integrity, values, who’s the human you wish to be, what message are you spreading & why, is it from ego, what is your purpose, do you have past trauma to nurture & heal? ⬆️ the BIGGIE. Swipe for other quick tips jotted down on IG Know that I love & appreciate all of you! I want you to be confident in believing your story matters, your voice matters, & the opinions of others don’t matter. What matters is you lead with love, purpose, & it sets your soul on fire❤️🔥
I’ve said it before, your daily habits, everything you consume, & who you surround yourself dictate how your life turns out. I posted this quote on my instagram stories this mornin:
The first few hours of your day are the most important. The first thing I do after waking is give gratitude to the Universe for allowing me to live another day.
I give gratitude to every slice of heaven & cup of joy no matter how small or trivial they may seem. Things like a warm summer morning, my cat Pete happy to see that I’m up, my beloved cup of coffee, the opportunity to workout, health & simply moving my body, a safe place to live, etc. These are privileges not everyone has & we have people fighting for us & giving up their lives so that we may have these privileges & freedom. #America
You can either start your day with junk (negative social media, distracting apps, processed food, negative self talk) or you can start your day with nourishment (reading, gratitude, movement, journaling, brain dumping, positive connection).
Throwback baby! Ahhhhh the lessons we learn. With age comes wisdom.
Which one do you think will set your day up for success?
Today’s world is weird & challenging. It’s not like it was even 2 years ago.
Mark Manson nailed it too, “Cell phones are the new cigarettes.” We are a world of people seeking instant gratification, temporary fulfillment, & always lookin for the next fix.
None of us are immune, but some of us are more self aware.
If you don’t purposely carve time out every day to progress & improve, you will get lost in the black hole of our increasingly “busy” lives.
I love this quote by Professor Harold Hill, “You pile up enough tomorrow’s, & you’ll find you’re left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterday’s.”
My secret, it’s really quite simple: success habits👇🏻
1.) Wake Up
2.) Get in your Game Zone
3.) Move
4.) Eat Right
5.) Get Ready
6.) Find your Inspiration
7.) Visualize your Perfect Day
8.) Do One Thing to Move You Forward
✅ WAKE UP
Guys you have to make sleep a nonnegotiable. (7+ hrs) Sleep is as important as food, water, & exercise. You can google all the benefits. This post & the rest of this blog is absolutely worthless if you don’t make sleep, self care, & recovery a priority.
✅GET IN YOUR GAME ZONE
Gratitude is everything. You must manage your mindset to facilitate clarity & abundance. It’s like your “Luck 🍀Fuel.” I don’t think I need to say it again but I will 😆 👉🏻thoughts become things! Gratitude has been called the mother of all virtues.
But first coffee…and brain dumping 🙂
Pete is always happy to see his momma! Grateful for this littler ornery companion of mine!
✅MOVE
The most successful people in this world exercise in the morning. It also has been found to generate inspiration & clarity, not to mention the physical benefits. You know we all out here wantin to look good naked. We are vain, holistic creatures. Look good, feel good, do good. If you don’t take care of your body, every other aspect of your life will suffer.
I make sure to sleep 6-8 solid hours, yes that requires going to bed super freaking early but my life depends on it. I workout at 5am before my 12hr shifts at work. No excuses. You are either a DOer or a DONTer.
✅EAT RIGHT
Focus on protein & healthy fats as the center of your meals. Whole, natural, nourishing foods over processed. You eat like a trashcan you become the trashcan. Eat ENOUGH food. Food is also a privilege, don’t make chasing a smaller version of yourself you hobby. Your body is a machine, you have to fuel a machine with the right fuel. Food is not a treat, a reward, or something you need to earn – it is literally what you are made of. I don’t know about you but I don’t wanna be full of shxt 🤷♀️😆
Embody the person you want to be. If you want to be a successful, impactful person — present yourself as one. What you wear, what you consume, how you carry yourself — all matter.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
✅FIND INSPIRATION
We’re all different, what inspires one may not inspire you.
I read, “Ordinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek education and learning.”
Listen to podcasts, read, invest in events, masterminds, & coaches, watch YouTube‘s that make you want to be a better person. Seek people & portals that put you in the zone to perform at your highest.
✅VISUALIZE YOUR PERFECT DAY
You should be writing down your goals & intentions, no matter how small. To do lists & brain dumping are wonderful tools. You should also have a list of your core values which serve as a roadmap for all of your actions & decisions. Mine below.
Achieving your goals are inevitable if you follow a simple system & implement the right habits. Also goes back to thoughts become things. If you visualize and tell yourself everything is going wrong, you’re right.
✅ DO ONE THING TO MOVE FORWARD
I’ve had people say, “Well I’m just not as good as you so I can’t do x.” No, no one is better than the other some are more self-aware & more disciplined. I used to feel shame when people would tell me I was like a machine. I felt like a freak. Then I realized my will power & discipline are unwavering — that’s my superpower. They can be yours too. Will power is like a muscle. If you want it to grow, you have to execute. Do one thing that moves the needle forward every single day, whatever context you choose. It could be a body goal, a career goal, or a relationship goal.
In closing, let me remind you, YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! 👏🏼
I invested $224 on a @scentsy order from a coworker just starting her side hustle last week.
She’s SO excited & eager.
I can see the sparkle ✨ of hustle in her eyes. My fellow entrepreneurs, you know what I’m talkin about: those dreamy, first time virgin optimism I’m gonna hustle&grind till I bleed, feels.
You also know what it feels like to think you’re a failure, not good enough, & an ‘imposter.’
So I wanted to do something nice for her like others had done for me in the past — build her confidence.
She said, “I took a chance, I dunno if I can do it.” 🤷♀️
I sat down.
I explained the power of her thoughts & vibration. She had to believe she was worthy & successful for the Universe to bring the right people & opportunities.
It takes aligned thoughts, feelings, & ACTION — not from a place of desperation or lack but of ease & abundance.
Did I need said $224 worth of the scent ‘Mystery Man’ in my life?
Maybe, maybe not 😂
Girls you know what I’m talkin about — God love the scent of a nice smelling man.
Am I right?!
Like not the ‘walking by Abercrombie & Hollister, overpowering, tryin too hard’ scent but the ‘confident, walking on the line of arrogance, sharp dressed man’ scent 🤤 Think Mr. Big. All my ‘Sex & the City’ 🌃 📺 👠 fans.
Someone stole my Fitbit watch last week as well. My fault, left it in the sauna bathroom when I changed. You would think most people would turn an item like that in.
They notified me no one turned it in. I replied, “That’s OK! I suppose someone needed my watch more than I did.” They were surprised with my response.
You see I’m grateful someone got pleasure out of me leaving my watch, & I’m grateful I have the finances to purchase another one, which is supporting someone else’s job too.
Look for the 💫 gold linings y’all & do something nice for someone. Your life will be so much sweeter.
And now…I can walk in my apartment to the delectable aroma of my Mystery Man ❤️🤗
She told me I really have no idea my purpose or where I fit in.
To anyone who has struggled with this question, I feel your emotions to my core.
Some of my painful realizations that may help you too:
👉🏻I love entrepreneurship but I’m a really shxtty number 1 person when it comes to running a business. I’m a GREAT connection maker & number 2!
Learned this coaching nutrition full time at one point & managing a sales territory for an online meal prep company.
I have gifts I’m naturally good at. Im a responder by nature, not an initiator. Great idea thinker. I’m phenomenal at reading people & the energy in a room — which makes me good at connecting with emotions.
I loathe being ‘salesy’ & feeling like I HAVE to make sales for my livelihood. I lose the love for it and build resentment.
The thought of cold calls make me CRINGE. I also HATE luke warm small talk. Give me a hot lead, give me something to respond to & I’ll close the deal 99% of the time.
Taking on a high volume of clients takes a huge toll on my energy. I had to learn to scale & balance my loves of healthcare & coaching to create a positive, abundant, & safe environment to cultivate a lifestyle I loved without losing my shxt.
I felt ashamed & embarrassed to own this for years. Felt it made me a “failure”
I enjoy working as a team & for other people. I need direction but enough freedom to not feel caged in. That’s the sweet spot where I thrive.
It hurts. It’s painful to go through these experiences, but let me remind you the roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important people & places you’re meant to be.
My 1st job ever was working on my family farm.
2nd was working as an animal science lab assistant at Purdue.
3rd was a vet tech.
4th was a well-paying job with a
pharmaceutical company.
—I hated it.
I made the decision my happiness was worth more than a paycheck.
Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I met my 2nd love — healthcare. My 1st will always & forever be agriculture.
Guess what?
Still dunno wtf I’m doin or where I’m goin. One thing is for dxmn sure my life is never boring😂
It’s OK to not know.
It’s NOT OK to settle for mediocrity.
Don’t be afraid to take risks & take the path less traveled.
I deactivated my Facebook this weekend. Finally pulled the trigger.
After the last year & a half of life changing stillness, loss, & uncertainty, I’ve been reflecting on my life, especially my career & authenticity.
It’s a whole hxll of a lot easier to look back & reflect only on the highlight reels, wanting to fast-forward or delete the painful moments.
I realized Facebook no longer brought me joy, I felt it was more of a negative distraction to fill the uncomfortable voids in my day.
Recently, I find myself pushing the pause again – pushing myself to take time to ask myself what REALLY aligns for ME at this very moment. It’s hard. I know, however, it’s absolutely necessary to grow.
The truth is, when I’m honest, not only did many fantastic opportunities in my life pass by or end prematurely because I felt I wasn’t good enough AND/OR I made a decision because I was placing someone else’s needs, feelings, & journey above my own.
Regardless of the circumstance, I would find valid reasons (excuses) why I needed to people please, or be the ‘Good Girl’, or the job or time or diet or workout or guy was/wasn’t right – yet I’d leave out the part about me not doubting myself.
Reflecting on these cycles, I realized I was choking on imposter syndrome.
Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.
Years ago, a Brooklyn based meal prep company hired me as their Midwest Nutrition Sales & Consulting Representative.
I knew jack about sales.
I knew people.
I knew how to care for people working in healthcare & radiology full time & coaching CrossFit & nutrition coaching as a side hustle.
I took that job & traveled for a whole year, learned a lot of life skills, made tons of connections, & also was scared shitless 99% of the time. My picture was even on the front page of their website.
Website Photo, Photo by Pamela Scott, Dreaming Willow Photography
I continuously told myself I wasn’t as good as the other reps. I made myself miserable. But I was really good at that ‘fake it till ya make it’ part. But it eats at you after time.
I was qualified, capable, and people loved me, but I wasn’t confident.
Have you ever felt like a complete fraud and that everyone was going to find out that you didn’t earn or deserving of your accomplishments?
Have you struggled with feeling like you don’t belong, don’t fit in?
Join the club. No one likes to talk about or admit it though.
So I started researching how to overcome my feelings. Reviewing Dr. Valerie Young’s research, she discovered specific imposter syndrome subgroups:
The Perfectionist – They have such high expectations for themselves that even small mistakes will make them feel like a failure.
The Superwoman/Superman – They put in longer hours, never take days off and must succeed in all aspects of life in order to prove they are the “real deal.”
The Natural Genius – They are used to things coming easily, so when something is too hard or they don’t master it on the first try, they feel shame and self-doubt.
The Soloist – They don’t like to ask for help, so when they do, they feel like a failure or a fraud.
The Expert – They continuously seek out additional certifications or training because they feel as though they will never know enough to be truly qualified.
I’d read through these and thought, dxmn, I fit into more than one of these.
Thank you, childhood trauma.
My parents set high expectations for me at a young age (I’m grateful they did tho).
I remember I got an 86%, my lowest grade ever, in Algebra, and I was devastated and thought my mom would hate me.
I graduated in the top of my class in high school, and on the Dean’s list in college at Purdue University, landed a huge internship at Eli Lilly my senior year of college too, yet for some reason, I still never felt good enough.
Today, it’s even harder. Social media has connected us all in ways I never thought possible. It’s a double edged sword I say. It’s wonderful to use for education, creativity, & connection but it also conjures a whole mess of negativity too.
I told you all before, I LOATHE the word ‘influencer.’ I feel it labels & places us in a shallow box of facades.
I’ve discussed with y’all how photoshop, & filters, & focusing on the highlight reels distort our feelings about ourselves, expectations of proper life timelines, public image, body image – the list goes on.
We place our worth and validation on likes & swipe rights.
So what do we do to overcome these faux feelings about ourselves? I though hard about this and came up with a few small steps that gave me solutions, comfort, & hope…
1.) Get Real Get Honest
When you feel like a fxck up, or unworthy, or you made a mistake, or you feel shame in some way – call yourself out & get real. You can only hide your feelings for so long, it’s just a Band-Aid.
2.) Emotions are Fleeting, Focus on Facts
We’re human, we change our minds and are emotional creatures. Write out the facts. Make a pros and cons list. You are qualified, capable, and worthy.
3.) Don’t Try to Fit In
Life would be boring if we were all the same.
Life would be boring if our lives always turned out as planned and perfect. You would never learn if you didn’t make mistakes. Your mess is your message. Be a trailblazer and own your shxt. Be kind always – to yourself and others. Seek first to understand before judging.
4.) Celebrate Every Win
Don’t downplay your accomplishments. No matter how small. Maybe you lost a couple lbs, maybe you got through your entire ‘To Do’ list, maybe you saved $100 this month, maybe you got a $2 raise, maybe you just got through the week and didn’t lose your shxt. High five sis, take’em all!
5.) Be The Person You Seek To Embody
I guess this is kind of like ‘fake it till you make it.’ All goes back to thoughts become things & you attract the vibe you put out.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Embrace yourself, baby. You have permission to be a hot mess & hot shot at the same time.
Surround yourself by people who make you better, push you, love and support you through the highlight reels & REAL reels.
Remember these…
“Be yourself, an original is worth more than a copy.” – Unknown
and
“If you want to be original, be ready to be copied.” – Coco Chanel
