Category: Life Lessons

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If you’ve ever been afraid to ask for help, maybe you need to read this

I’ve never been good at asking for help. Not in school, not from friends, not from the doctor, therapy, not from mom & dad, not from anyone really.

Always had that “figure this shxt out for yourself” mindset.

I know now this stemmed from fear of being judged – fear of being wrong, fear of being viewed as weak & stupid & not being able enough to take care of myself.

In my 1st marriage, I was not the breadwinner. I depended on him for numerous things. To put a roof over my head. More expensive items & investments. Paying for vacations & when we went out to eat.
And he provided, which I’m grateful. He’s a good man & I wish him the best to this day.

I didn’t have a lot of money. I was in debt. Still a hard worker but could just never get my head above water. I felt like a prisoner & hopeless & weak. I should’ve left years before I did for the both of us to thrive.

This fear of having to rely on someone else grew throughout my following relationships. I was the breadwinner for the majority of them. Fear of commitment & dependency turned me into the stereotypical emotionally & relationally avoidant.
You could imagine the pain of having to say I was a “dependent” when I married a US Marine.
Omg the sting.

😵‍💫

Growing up on a farm you’re raised to be strong, productive, resislient, & self-sufficient. There wasn’t always someone there to help you. You had to learn to figure things out for yourself.

Which I guess is why I do well in radiology, too. We have to think on our feet, outside of the box. We often times work alone, we have to move patients by ourselves, we have to learn to get images & diagnostic exams done for your doctors with as much precision as possible so we can help save peoples lives.

We are the eyes of your physicians. If we don’t do an exam correctly & efficiently, a diagnosis could be missed or misdiagnosed which changes the trajectory of your life. If we inject the wrong contrast or don’t follow proper protocol, we can kill you.

Talk about pressure right?! 

👀

 We’re not just monkey button pushers. 

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💀
💕
🦾

Xray school just exacerbated my issues with not asking for help. Stubborn. As. Hxll. I hated every moment of Xray school. You feel like you’re under constant scrutiny & criticism. It’s true, survival of the fittest & only the strongest survive 

😂

One of my favorite mentors, Dr. Stephen Cabral, sent an email yesterday about this very topic.
Him & his team helped me heal from SIBO & a bacterial overgrowth years ago. I learned much from them about proper functional nutrition.

This really hit home for me too…
You can apply it to any area of your life.

“If you encounter a forest & you know on the other side are your hopes & dreams, you’d want to get through the woods as fast as you can…

But most of us struggle, forever hacking through the bushes & branches, changing directions, getting lost, & wasting time…

While all along if we had just stopped before making the treacherous journey on our own & found a local guide that had traversed this forest thousands of times, that person could simply show us the paths they’ve cleared over the years.”

I don’t know if I needed to hear this, or someone else out there too, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I know I’m not the only one out there that has been conditioned to believe “figuring it out for yourself” is some badge of honor. Like I used to think not eating & beating the 

💩

 out of my body was too.

I’ve learned I NEED to ask for help & it’s ok. That’s what we’re here for to help support, learn, & grow together, united.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak, stupid, or incompetent. It means you’re smart because no one knows everything & you should never be the smartest one in the room or you’re in the wrong room.

This is the fastest & most guaranteed path to success. On every level: health, weight, relationships, career, finances, spirituality.

If I can ever help in anyway, I am honored to be your guide. This was way longer than I expected but obviously a message that needed to get out there.

Wish you all the best Monday & start to your week!

Oxox Coach K

Helpful links:

All info: https://linktr.ee/lil_bit_of_fit

IG: http://www.instagram.com/lil_bit_of_fit

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How love, food, & money are all connected & how I changed

This morning I I realized how messed up my relationships were. 

I thought about chapters in the past, the struggles in particular. I talked about overcoming struggle yesterday. 

(If you haven’t, check that blog out. I needed to hear it myself too. A swift kick in the🍑)

Food, body image, money, & love are all connected. My 29 year old self & sure as sh*t my 19 year old self had NO IDEA.

It all comes down to energetics & the way you FEEL about yourself. 

I told y’all my body image issues, eating disorders, & fxckd up relationship with food & myself started at the age of 8.

I never felt pretty or significant. We had “enough” as a hardworking family of 5, growing up on a farm. 

But as a child, often material “wealth” outweighs the truly important things like kindness & service. 

So if you don’t have certain things or dress like the cool kids, you’re picked on & told that you’re poor & less worthy. 

If you’re not skinny like the popular kids you’re told you’re fat & not worthy of love. 

This wrecked my relationships with love, food, & money for decades. 

As a result I racked up credit card debt to buy things to make myself feel more worthy.

I over ate & under ate to control my body thinking reaching a certain size would make me worthy of love. Exacerbating my poor health, disordered eating, & gut issues.

My romantic relationships we’re like rainbows of confusion, struggle, & continuously feeling lost.

We place value & control on specific things for validation in hopes of making ourselves FEEL a certain way. 

Usually the feelings we’re chasing are to be loved, seen, heard, worthy, significant, & included.

We want to be CHOSEN & LOVED.

Over spending

Discounting & under valuing 

Emotional eating & Disordered eating

Over exercising

Giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them

People pleasing & playing small

Excessive drinking & drug use

In American society we tend to value thin bodies, financial wealth, titles, material wealth, “fitting in & following suit.”

Improvement in all of these areas of my life started with changing my mindset, my energetics around my worth, reminding myself money is just energy, thoughts became things & I controlled my reality by my reaction, reminding myself there is so much abundance in this world, I matter simply because I exist & because I have a kind heart & choose a life of service & purpose.

I felt some of you out there may have needed to hear this message this morning & know that you’re not alone.

I may be known as a “nutrition coach” & “Xray tech”, but a reminder there are so many more facets to you than labels, food, money, & body image. 

And my doors are open if you need a listening ear who accepts you as perfectly imperfect as you are.

And what you are is incredible simply because you’re YOU.💕

Happy Monday loves!

Oxox Coach K

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A message to those who struggle & 4 tips to drag your azz out of it

I would say up until, let’s say a few years ago, it’s hard to pin down exactity (I made that word up btw), I feel I lived my life in a constant struggle.

Occasionally I still do, except now, I see the beauty & gift that comes from the grit of the struggle. We wouldn’t understand the contrast or be able to savor the warmth & joy of the good times. 

We all struggle with our own demons in some way because we’re human.

The most common messages I receive are “How do I overcome X struggle?” In one short-ISH response, I’m gonna give you the advice I would give my own children if I had any. 

Know I’m also writing this not just for y’all who are strugglin, but also to my former self & a reminder to this present woman. Advice I wish I had when I felt worthless, ugly, fat, insignificant, unloved, & like my whole world was collapsing around me & I just couldn’t dig my way out. 

When I thought darkness & scarcity & sickness was just “My Story” until I realized it was more about changing my desires & how I felt vs changing my beliefs. There’s a difference. Changing your vibration & feelings will attract what you want much quicker than simply stating a changed belief. Attraction includes the word ACTION.

Going through struggle is not about focusing on the suffering or avoidance of, it’s about embracing overcoming adversity. 

So my top 4 tips to those who are constantly on the struggle bus & hot mess express:

1. BEcome MORE
When my life kicked me in the face, one thing that always snapped me back to my desired reality: the realization that I had to actually had to BEcome MORE. I had to BE & DO who I want to BEcome.

For me, I struggled with the facade I wasn’t a significant person worth knowing or loving – BECAUSE I hadn’t become a person worth knowing. I let every shadow, bad habit, & sh*tty thought take over my life like a black cloud.

I either made fun of others or hid in shame to cover up my own insecurities. Examples: I laughed at people in that mushy gushy love, thought having money made you “bad” or it was hard to make, I hid in shame, people pleasing, & stifled my potential because I never wanted to be seen as a failure, rejected, & different, mocked “skinny” girls because secretly I wanted to be them.

You are capable of so much more than you think. Your voice matters & you can bring about phenomenal change in this world if you just let go of your fear of what others think of you, of thinking you have to hide behind your fake azz social media, of fitting into society’s boxes, & anything else not serving you.

Choose to BEcome MORE.

2. EXTRAordinary takes being EXTRA.
Fxcking own it. Frankly we’re lazy af as a society. We want everything to be easy peasy like taking a pill to get that “toned” physique we all desire. When the only way to truly get it & KEEP IT, is by consistency & creating an internal & external environment to support the person we wish to be. 

You know I’m not one to sugar coat, literally & figuratively, if you’re struggling, it’s because you need to DO MORE to BEcome MORE than you’re currently doing. Do more of the good shiz like:

– Smile at people for no good reason. They’re free!

– Give compliments just because they make someone feel loved

– Hold the door open for people, be kind

– Go to the fxcking gym. Eat your beef.

– Get your face out of your phone & acknowledge people in line or the elevator, get off your phone at dinner & actually talk, be present

– Do more of what you love just because it brings you JOY

– Allow yourself to love without expectations & risk being hurt because it’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all

– Be unapologetic about loving yourself above all & realizing you owe no one anything

3. Experience More

I used to be scared sh*tless to think about hopping on a plane, road tripping alone, or striking up a conversation with anyone I didn’t know. It stifled me. Now I LOVE IT! I meet new people & friends everywhere I go. 

Being married to a US Marine in one chapter of my life & experiencing the melting pot of the military opened my eyes to a whole new world & I will be forever grateful. It has made me more well-rounded & appreciative of other ethnicities & all backgrounds.

Traveling made me more compassionate, appreciative of how I was raised, & opened my eyes to the world beyond my “perfect” & “safe” small country town USA in McCordsville, Indiana.

Get out of your hometown, pack your suitcase, & roll. Not to escape life, but to give yourself the moment to explore & pause to go find yourself again.

4. Be Content with Enoughness

I felt like a failure the majority of my life because I didn’t “live up to society’s ‘normal’ timeline.” I’ve talked about this before, I thought by 40 I would have been married 18 years, have 2 kids, a white picket fence, & 18 years seniority at the same job since college. 

LMFAO. 

2 divorces, infertility, thousands of dollars in debt, more jobs than I can count or include on a 1 page resume, & decades of sickness & beating the sh*t outta my body later…

But like I stated before, you don’t appreciate the good times without the bad. I would not be the woman I am today, writing this, helping you, via these experiences without them. Embrace adversity & YOUR OWN TIMELINE. Life happens FOR US not to us. 

You are enough simply because you exist. You will always be rich if you’re content with ENOUGH. Our future is not guaranteed, that’s really all we’re guaranteed. 

Accumulating money, titles, things, followers, a shrinking number on the scale, abs, certain milestones, whatever you wanna insert here…are pointless quests if you don’t love who you are & where you are right now.

Repeat after me:

“Trust that some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet. There are going to be parties that leave you dancing until 6am, spontaneous adventures that teach you more than you ever learned in a classroom. There are going to be nights that will stay burned beneath your eyelids, memories that dance underneath your skin. Life is going to exceed your expectations, it is going to astonish you with its timing.

Remember — you have not felt it all.

The world still has so much left for you”

– Bianca Sparacino

Love y’all

oxox Coach K

@lil_bit_of_fit

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Reflections on my 39th trip around the sun

Ya know I love vacations but I LOVE going home, more. Anyone else like this too?

Back to routine. My home. My gyms. My Pete 🐈‍⬛. My bed. My people I love. 

Gettin ready to head back to Indy tomorrow. 

As I did laundry & packed, I let my mind wander. This vacation felt like a huge reflection & reset for me. New beginnings. 

A few: 

  • Starting a new job PRN at the VA hospital in Indianapolis soon. PUMPED!
  • New workout routines & body goals, it’s gainz season y’all 🦾🦿
  • Purging stagnant & less optimal habits & replacing them with better ones
  • Purging things I don’t need
  • Simplifying & optimizing business & life
  • Being ok letting old friend circles go
  • Pushing myself to do new things, date, & meet new people

I am actually REALLY excited to enter my 40’s. Something about moving into a new decade makes me feel optimistic & all warm & fuzzy like a deep conversation over an old fashioned or a cup of coffee.

Life really hasn’t turned out as I “expected”

I feel it has turned out better & exactly how it was supposed to.

Kinda like this jumper here. This 5’1, shorty was skeptical about buying it. It was not what I expected – but BETTER. Well done Amazon, well 👏🏼 done 👏🏼 XS fit purrrrfect 😻😆

My younger self thought at 40 I’d have it all figured out, be happily married for decades, picket fence, 2 kids, #merica ….y’all can laugh now.

After 2 divorces I feel like the universe is telling me I make a really good ex-wife 😂 And ya know what? I am. I’m a great ex wife. I love all my exes. I have zero baggage & no hard feelings. I choose to remember the lessons & all the wonderful memories from my relationships.

That thinkin at 40 I’d “have it all figured out thang”…hxll I can’t even fxckin remember where I park my car in the mornings or what day it is half the time.😝 

Spiritually I still feel like I’m in my 20s, most days I physically feel BETTER than I did in my 20s. 

I say I have a young spirit & a significantly old soul. Dangerous combo.

I look young but inside I’m a baby grandma. Totally ok with it. Some days I can party with the best of them but most days I’m an introvert, don’t ask me to do anything after 8 PM.

It’s like I don’t really know what to do with me? So finally I just said fugg it, I don’t do rules I do what feels right. Especially dating or dressing myself. 

I’m at that weird age I really don’t know what’s appropriate, like how to “dress for my age” or “date in my age range”  

WTF does that even mean anymore?! 🤔🤷‍♀️

Someone, if you have the answer please clarify this for me 🙋‍♀️

I surrendered y’all. I surrendered to the fact that I will continue to get older each year & I don’t have to have expectations at all. Simply just a direction to always be working on bettering myself.

I vow, this year, to settle in & let my 39th year wrap itself around me like a warm & fuzzy Sherpa jacket.

I remind myself that faking happiness & perfection are the quickest way to die on the inside. I remind myself life is what it is & it IS what I make it. Do shxt that makes me happy & brings Joy. Be kind. 

Moral of this page from the life of Lilbitoffit:

I’m a 39 yo old woman. I’m flawed & weird af. I don’t love everyone & everything, & there’s plenty of people who do not love me & I could care less. 

I am getting wrinkles, sunspots, & I sure as hxll can’t recover from drinking like I used to & way over consume caffeine, but I refuse to give up coffee & making memories with friends & family.

I am still working on loving myself & living a life that makes me proud, fulfilled, & content. And I’m cool with having no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. It’s never boring 😉 

Thank y’all for listening to this “middle-aged”rambling. 

Cheers to officially being a “cougar” next year 🐆😸 

Oxox 

Coach K

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Lilbitoffit’s Live Your Best Life List!

@lil_bit_of_fit ‘s Live Your Best Life List

This mug is epic is it not?!

GRATITUDE:
think & name off at least 3 things you’re grateful for & do at least one thing that brings you joy in the mornin. Smile more. Compliment more. Do at least one nice thing for someone every day.

MOVEMENT:
get a walk or some kind of movement done 1st thing in the morning. Be intentional about getting your 10K steps in.

FOOD:
eat nourishing food that does not cause any negative physical or mental triggers. Eat slow & mindfully. Hit your protein grams daily. At least 30-50g/meal. Average 2-3 meals/d, no snacking. Let your carbs & fat grams fall where they will. Eat at your maintenance calories the majority of the year. Drink at least 1/2 your body weight in oz of water daily + get in adequate electrolytes. Walk after meals, even 10 minutes. Eat your largest meal & carbs after your workout & taper meal sizes off later in the day.

WORKOUTS:
strength train 3-4 x/week. Use cardio wisely, get in your daily steps.

SELF CARE:
do sh*t you love everyday & fill your cup. Sleep 7-8 hrs/night. Take 2 rest days/wk. Sweat, get some sunshine & nature as much as you can.

MINDSET:
make a vision board or list or “Alignment” board on Pinterest & fill it with visions, quotes, pictures, & expanders of the life, love, body, & person you desire to embody. Believe you are worthy & deserving. Listen to positive podcasts, read books, surround yourself with extraordinary people & a nurturing environment.

🤷‍♀️

That’s it. Don’t make it harder than it is.
Remember motivation is fleeting, but you have the choice to be a person who keeps commitments to themselves.

Now that know better…

Do better.

You DO have it all together, you just periodically forgot where you put it!

😉

Oxox
Coach K

Ps. 

🐈‍⬛
🎃
☕️

 Mug is from Kroger!!
How cute is this???

Tap for Google Drive PDF Link, also available in link in Instagram Bio

Pss. I posted downloadable link to this list on Instagram in “Mindset” highlights, also available in the link in my Instagram bio!

Love and hugs!

oxox Coach K

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Tips to help you with sugar cravings & fat loss! Especially on the carnivore diet!

Q: I can’t seem to control my weight, portions, & sugar cravings no matter what diet, currently Carnivore.⁣ Some days I’m not hungry.

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So I asked her, “What’s your 1st thought in the morning when you wake up? Is it how much you’re scared you weigh?”⁣

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She said yes. I said that’s your problem.⁣

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Also asked her, “Do you intentionally make sure you are simply moving & hitting your steps every day?”

She said no. I also said there’s your problem.

One thing you can easily control which will also boost your mood, metabolism, digestion, & appetite👉🏻Build a success routine which includes movement. I suggest 1st thing in the morning. That leaves less time for excuses for you not to get your workouts in. I got mine this mornin before work.

When you’re constantly stuck in a negative mindset around dictating your entire day on a number or what you look like in the mirror, that’s the weight actually weighing you down.⁣

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You dictate your reaction. Your thoughts & emotions (your REACTION to things) – dictates your behaviors. Your behaviors become your habits. Your habits become you.⁣

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Tips we talked about to help navigate sweets cravings, addiction, & mindset around body image:⁣

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– Stop body checking in the mirror. Take away the scale. Wear comfy clothes that complement your body. You wear your clothes, your clothes don’t wear you.⁣

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– Sweets cravings are addiction: determine if you’re an abstainer or moderator. If you’re an abstainer you need to avoid carbs & sugar, period. Get the food out of your house. Watch artificial sweeteners, keto treats, cheat days, gum, drinks with sweetener, make sure you’re eating enough food especially enough fat.⁣ Track if you don’t know!

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– Cheese, dairy, nuts, & nut butters can be addictions/triggers, they’re hard to portion control.⁣

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– Choose meats easier to portion control like ground meat vs ribeyes, ribs, pork belly, bacon. They are highly palatable (& high fat) which means you’re more likely to eat past satiety.⁣

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– You may need a multivitamin to fill in gaps for your specific needs. Always consult with your physician before making any changes. Most common imbalances/deficiencies I see with Carnivore if not eating a well rounded variety: vitamin D, electrolytes, magnesium & sodium, B vitamins, zinc, vit A, calcium & vitamin C⁣

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– Check yo stress: Relationship & life stress? Sh*tty sleep? Over training? Under eating? Too much protein? Not enough Fat? Still eating trigger foods?⁣ Over caffeinating? ALL STRESS which increases your blood sugar, & increases inflammation even if you’re eating low-carb.

⁣

Your reflection in the mirror does not dictate your worth. Neither does what diet you choose to follow. Choose the things that make you a better human!

oxox Coach K

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Thoughts on transformation, fat loss, health, & happiness on the carnivore diet

Confessions of another dirty bathroom photo…⁣
Dis me. I’m awkward af trying to get body photos. I dunno how to properly “pose.”😆 but I’m glad I do. They make me proud of how far I’ve come & what my body & mind are capable.⁣
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Just a friendly reminder you can do whatever shade of the Carnivore Diet you want (or any other diet for that matter). I feel I’m speaking for the majority of us meat-based folk who love this lifestyle because it works for us. I’m 2 years in.⁣
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We really don’t care what you eat or what your body looks like as long as you’re happy & healthy. It’s really none of our business what you eat every day, what workouts you do, what your body looks like, if you show your body & journey or not.⁣
We just love happy people.⁣
Be nice to each other.⁣
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I feel I needed to reiterate that again.⁣
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I know some people say we all have the same 24 hours in a day, & literally we do, yet realistically we don’t. ⁣
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I preach being a DOer. Yes, you either DO or you DON’T. But be nice to those who have children or special circumstances which make going to the gym or a certain fitness goals challenging. ⁣
I’m not giving excuses for “lazy” people but just asking you to be nice. Perfection is never needed, but do remember EFFORT matters no matter what your circumstance & you can still be a person that keeps COMMITMENTS to yourself in whatever way YOU need.⁣
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As for shades of “carnivore”…some of us eat a little bit of carbs. Some don’t. Some eat organs, some don’t. Some just eat beef, some don’t. Doesn’t matter.⁣
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I for one can do a little bit of plain rice cakes/white rice as far as starchy carbs. I keep these around my workouts if I’m going to incorporate some. I do that because that’s when my body metabolizes & utilizes them the most efficiently for performance & recovery. I don’t eat them often or every day, I simply eat them when my body is telling me I need them.⁣
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I also incorporate leaner, lower fat days with higher fat days. This too varies & I also listen to my body & eat accordingly. I’m happy in maintenance. I notice after 2-3 days of eating lower fat, I crave more fat. Because I most likely need more calories, especially after hard training days. My fat macros vary. Protein is around 160-200g most days. I also am very active, CrossFit, & lift weights. So what I do may not work for you. I posted a guide for optimizing eating for workouts yesterday, save tag & share that post. Great resource!⁣
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This style of eating works very well for me, my needs, & my body is responding well. I’m leaner than I ever have been before, eating 1800-2000+ calories on avg & ~2-2.5lbs of meat/day. Lean days I prefer ground chicken, shrimp, & 90% ground sirloin. High fat days I enjoy 80-85% ground beef & lamb, eggs, & ribeyes.⁣
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My crispy airfryer #meatbars are LIFE & I eat them every day because I love them. And I’m so happy y’all are loving them too! Tag away!⁣
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I also haven’t had a Crohn’s flare or binge since I went meat based 2 years ago — the best part! ⁣
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Yes, people look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them I really just eat meat AND I prefer “CrossFit.” People told me I couldn’t do it. My bloodwork, mental clarity, energy level, & physique say otherwise. 😉⁣
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Listen to you body’s. I am happy to share my experiences & I fully admit I made a lot of mistakes on the way, I didn’t always feel well, I initially gained 15lbs & I wanted to stop numerous times along my journey.⁣
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Any diet that serves you best mentally & physically & is high in bioavailable nutrients will always be better than one that lacks the essentials your body needs to function properly.⁣
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Love y’all ⁣
Peace love & meat 🥩 ⁣

oxox Coach K @lil_bit_of_fit 🙂

2 years carnivore
39, 5’1, 105lbs, avg 2000 cal/day & proud! I’ve lost 60lbs in my lifetime.
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The only 2 things you need to do to get the body, life, and love you desire

Going to take a different spin to answering y’alls questions today and I feel no matter what you are wanting to change or bring into your life this is how you’ll get it.

This really has nothing to do with a specific diet, macros, or workouts, BUT everything in your life stems from healing & cultivating a better relationship with just 2 things: knowing your worth & you’re enough & putting action behind it.

Full Youtube video here, click image

https://youtu.be/6vAczkI3cp8

You see you can go to the best doctors or hire all the best practitioners & coaches in the world but if you don’t believe in yourself, that you are worthy of whatever you’re seeking or wanting to heal, you’ll never get it.

We go to coaches & doctors for the “answers,” often seeking more numbing mechanisms to cover up the underlying issue which is us not believing in ourselves. We numb with excess food, shopping, alcohol, giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them, etc. 
So I can sit here & give you all the specific diets, macros, & workouts, but they don’t fxcking matter if you don’t believe in yourself & that you’re worthy of these things. That means being able to apply the information as well, & if you’re paralyzed by your beliefs, the application won’t happen either.

For example, chasing beauty, love & success, even if you attain these things, they won’t bring you happiness & love unless you love yourself. Look at Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Robin Williams, Heath ledger… just had this conversation with one of my best friends the other day while watching A Knight’s Tale with Heath Ledger. These people were so immensely talented & yet they took their own lives because they didn’t love themselves.

Ladies, some of the most beautiful models in the world, the most successful people in the world get left in relationships, are lonely, & are not happy because they don’t love themselves. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and the beholder is you.

When traumatic experiences happen to you, like maybe you were left as a child, or someone left you in a relationship, if you start to believe you’re not enough, & these things pile up on top of you, & you don’t learn to unpack your bag — they will suffocate you & take over your life.

“Bad” shxt happens, but if you seek changing your personality, or chasing a body aesthetic to attain “happiness” you will forever be unfulfilled, you’re not really treating & healing the underlying issue which is you believe you’re not enough. 
I did this, I did this for decades & chased a smaller body thinking it would make me happier — it did not. It may temporarily give you that “high” but you won’t stay there. You won’t stay there until you become the person you want to be & cultivate those success habits & commitments to stay the person you desire to be.

So take all these talented amazing people like the actors, actresses, models – all these successful people we think have everything, but do they? It’s easy to hide behind & be fooled by filters, editors, & facades.

Take us as young girls or boys, we often times chase after boys & girls, we try to change ourselves, we try to please our parents, please teachers, please other people & where does it get us?

Love & worth are not to be chased, earned, or worked for – just like food, they are essential for life.

Watch your world change when you start to love yourself. It’s like the “Beauty is not the rent we pay to exist in this world.” We matter just because we exist. I have this on a post it on my mirror.

As children what happens is we have unmet needs. We want to be loved, we want to be safe, we want to be viewed as successful & significant & we encounter disappointment in these areas. We begin to believe that our needs will never be met & we are not enough which transcends into our adult lives.

There is no one thing in this world that can meet your unmet needs other than yourself.

To feel beautiful & loved you don’t need to change your shape or get surgery or whatever you seek to change your appearance, the one thing you need to do is believe you are loved & lovable because that is what you will attract in your life. 
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself or change something as long as it comes from a place of self loving & not self loathing. Your foundation has to be set on true self love.

People love you & see your significance & appreciate you to the degree that you love & see your significance for yourself.

Think about it, when people say good things about you like, “You’re beautiful, my goodness you are so talented, I just love to hear your voice, etc” — all these good things are warm like a fabulous cup of coffee or that cocktail you love you that warms you from the insides. Exude that energy & other people will see it & you’ll notice better things will come into your life when you vibrate at this high energy. You can choose this feeling right now. Don’t give other people or things that power with which you hold within yourself.

Because when these things leave you, we tend to feel poorly about ourselves. Remember we attract everything that is aligned to our energy. What is meant for you will never miss you & if it’s meant to leave let it go. Release it with a loving heart.

When you learn the art of unattachment, that’s when you start a lifelong romance with your life. One that is fulfilling. One that will give you the body that you want, the feelings that you want, the experiences that you want, & the people that you want, and it all starts with you.- Not a diet, not another person, not the right workouts, or meal plan, or macros.

So how do we do it? You have to learn to nourish your soul like you nourish your body. You have to nourish your mind. Tell yourself what you want to feel & what you want to hear & paint a different picture. Tell yourself you are beautiful & you have a fabulous life & ove being in the sunshine & you have people who love you simply because you are you. Paint that picture & believe it.

Create vision boards. I love Pinterest & save quotes that make me feel alive, loved, understood. I save pictures of the healthy body I want & how I feel. I save pictures of relationships goals & the person I want to be & I want my partner to be. Embody the habits of that person you want to embody & put them in place to get what you want. You have to put action behind the desires, too.

Set your clothes out in the morning to make it easy for yourself to go work out. TImeblock walks in your schedule. Meal prep your food ahead of time so you have good things to eat. Book self care & time to yourself. Unapologetically own your fxcking life & quit letting other people influence your life & live it for you. Don’t let them influence you by putting down a specific diet or things that you love, or telling you you’re weird & you need to change. That’s giving other people power.

The longest relationship you’ll have in your entire life is with you. Kids grow up. Partners leave or they die. Your parents pass. Friends will come and go. But you always will be with yourself until your very last breath.

Believe you are worth it.Because you are. Remember if beauty made you happy every beautiful person would be happy. A bodybuilder knows you have to break down muscle & build it back up & let it recover over & over again to get the body they want — a wounded, broken heart is just the same.


oxox Coach K

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Flashback from 2018 & bullshit sandwiches

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTmZRtmF101/

What’s my favorite position…⁣
CEO. (Ma girl @laurenconrad )⁣
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(Ps. I don’t wear many T-shirts but this is one of my favorites I bought last year from @amandaradke It fit this post perfectly 😉)⁣
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Holy smokes…I found this entry below on my notes page in my phone from 2018. It brought back every painful emotion at that point in my life & it also made me really fxcking proud of myself. ⁣
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I’ll share it openly with you & maybe it can give you the hope you need today or however it resonates…⁣
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December 30, 2018 ✍🏼 :⁣


“What’s my favorite position…⁣
-CEO, mf’s⁣
(Borrowed from ma girl @laurenconrad )⁣
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The age old question😆 We’ll keep it PG13.⁣
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You’ll never be CEO of your life until you own it & start acting like it. ⁣
Does this mean perfection? – absolutely not, but EFFORT, YES.⁣
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-You wanna lose weight? Invest a coach, make a plan, act.⁣
-You want a better relationship? Put forth the effort to nurture that relationship. Especially the one with yourself.⁣
-You want a different career? Get clarity on what sets your soul on fire & seek it. Open yourself up to receive.⁣
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2018, I don’t know about chy’all but I don’t know whether to say thank you or🖕🏻you. ⁣
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But you know what, the sweet spot is found in the middle.⁣
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To say this year was a roller coaster doesn’t do it justice. Highs & lows like the ocean tide. ⁣
▪️Rebranded into an amazing new business⁣
▪️Traveled the US & met so many beautiful people & new friends⁣
▪️ Changed jobs for what seems a bagillion times⁣
▪️ Another failed relationship 🤷‍♀️⁣
▪️ My health tanked, spent the whole year building a new me from the inside out⁣
▪️ My car was repoed. But I now have payed her off NOW! ❤️🚗 ⁣
▪️ Invested in a business coach, learned tough love & more about the bullshxt lies I tell myself⁣
▪️ Aching broken heart 💔 ⁣
▪️ Weight & energy up & down & all around⁣
▪️ And then, I found myself again⁣
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Sounds familiar? We’re all the same.⁣
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The best part of this year was genuinely making connections with so many beautiful humans all over the world. From the bottom of my heart thank you for blessing my life y’all!⁣
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Love people. Be unapologetic about who you truly are & openly accepting of others. Your network is truly your net worth.⁣
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Remember, what they think of you will never cut you a check. And you are far richer & able in so many ways other than money.⁣
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Cheers ☕️🥂⁣
What did you learn from 2018?”⁣
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Now think back to 2018 & let that sink in.⁣
Are you still feeding yourself bullshxt sandwiches?⁣
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Some blunt truths about your weight gain & why you struggle with food & fitness

I wanna know if any of these resonated with you like they did with me. 

You’re not alone, I’ve done every single one of these things. 

The difference, if you’re still stuck stuck here – I acknowledged my shortcomings & made a decision to rewrite my story. You can too. 

I think the biggest one that struck me hard was:

“If you gained weight doing things to regain your health, you needed to gain that weight.”

We base our worth so often solely on our looks & how skinny we can get.

Because of the society we live in, I understand it’s still hard to acknowledge these things & speak openly.

We feel shame around them, especially gaining weight. 

I’m here to tell you you’re not alone & everyday you can choose to own your excuses & make a decision to change. 

Effort matters, perfection is not needed.

Remember we were made to be ACTIVE, JOUFUL participants in life.

Love & Hugs 

Oxox

Coach K 

Post with full graphics on Instagram

If you gained weight doing things to regain your health, you needed to gain that weight.

I’m talking about that reverse dieting, more rest, stopping the excessive working out, stopping the constant restriction & scarcity mentality, eating more fat, for some it may mean eating more carbs, maybe it means you stopped isolating yourself & started living again, etc. You can’t live a full life on a chronically empty tank (mentally, physically, emotionally, & spiritually).

You keep diet & program hopping – basically just “winging” &/or over complicating sh*t.

You don’t stay consistent with anything. You think you always have to do what someone else is doing. You allow yourself to get lost in all the info & lose sense of what YOU really need/like to do. You choose unrealistic goals, quick fixes & extremes. You choose a plan yet never prepare or follow through which leads you to continual self sabotage & poor choices. You refuse to track food & activity, therefore, really have no idea what you’re consuming. What gets tracked gets managed. You don’t need to overcomplicate things like meal prep, simple movement, & the basics. Keep it simple & routine: get 10k steps a day, eat nourishing real food, sleep, manage a positive environment & mindset.

You haven’t dealt with your relationship with food, exercise, & body image.

This a biggie y’all. You have to “diet” & LIVE from the inside out. Your relationship with self/food/exercise, your mindset, the energy you put off – ARE EVERYTHING. Thoughts become things & you attract the energy you put out. It doesn’t matter what diet, macros, training program, coach/trainer/practitioner you hire, they won’t work unless you do. The most important work is the inner work. “You must be willing to do the things today others won’t do, in order to have the things tomorrow others won’t have.” Les Brown

You’ve set unrealistic, unsustainable goals you can’t adhere to.

Are you comparing & constantly trying to look like some else who’s life, background, history, health, preferences, etc are NOTHING like yours? Cliché but true – comparison is the thief of joy and we were meant to live this life with JOY. If you have a poor relationship with carbs & they cause negative mental & physical effects, why are you eating them? If you hate meat, why are you trying keto & carnivore? If you hate weightlifting, why are you trying to look like a bodybuilder? If you hate veggies, why are you vegan? If your life is stressed to the titties, why are you trying to diet?

You haven’t taken enough time to heal, educate yourself on how your body works, or gain self awareness for a successful diet.

I used to be a chronic dieter & eating the wrong foods for my specific needs. My body composition reflected that too. I was skinny fat, inflamed, binge eating, performance & recovery sucked – life basically sucked. Learning about your body & how it works & WHY you need to eat & train a certain way will change your life. You should be eating in maintenance the majority of the year, not diet more than 1-2x/yr no longer than 12-16 wks. Most active females, athletes, & avid exercisers should be consuming around 1800-2100+ calories/d for maintenance. You have to BUILD the body first to reveal the physique you want when you lose the body fat. That takes food, rest, & strength training.

You refuse to give up your weekend warrior ways & get real with food consumption & activity.

Just because you didn’t log your food doesn’t mean you didn’t just down a whole pizza, bag of chips, 6 cocktails, or whatever your poison. Same with your steps & workouts, if you didn’t get it in, that falls on you – no one else. Restricting all week & blowing it every weekend is also biting y’all in the tush. Hit your protein & eat enough calories for your health & goals consistently. Get a fitness tracker & track your steps. They are the biggest impact on calories burned throughout the day. If you have gut issues or special dietary needs, own that too. Stop going out & allowing other people or situations to control what you put in your body. You can totally enjoy being social, you simply need to set & stick with healthy boundaries you set for yourself.

You’ve struggled with disordered eating & can’t “feel” true hunger/satiety cues. Not everyone can intuitively eat if you’ve lost you’re intuition.

This one – HUGE. HUGE reason I cringe when I hear people say “Just eat intuitively” or “Just eat as much meat as you want on Carnivore.” Quantity matters. You should be able to distinguish between true physical hunger & emotional hunger/habits. Some of us have lost this ability because of chronic dieting. Your meals should be large enough to keep you full for 3-4+ hrs, & they should be protein centric. You should not be snacking in between meals. Most of us should be eating 30-50g of Protein/meal. We numb emotions with food, we eat too fast, we eat our kids food, we eat in front of the tv, we wire our brains to think these sabotaging habits are normal. You can choose to change those habits & re-write your story.

You’re ignoring your toxic environment.

What you consume, consumes you and what consumes you, controls your life. Our consumption is not only what we eat & drink but also what we watch, listen to, media we consume & environment. If you want to change, become a better version of yourself, become healthier or more successful, you have to change your behaviors & consumptions. Listen to a podcast, motivational speakers, surround yourself with successful, positive minded people – create yourself a new environment. That might mean to break up friendships or a relationship. For me it means constantly learning/changing in order to become a better version of myself.

You’re simply not disciplined enough. It is what it is – you either do or you don’t.

Like Andy Frisella says, ‘Don’t listen to your b*tch voice.” There’s nothing worse than rolling through life in the passenger’s seat. You wake up, go to work, & drift through each day with no direction or driving force. It’s about keeping commitments to yourself & mental toughness. If dieting & obtaining the physique & level of health you desire was an easy task, everyone would do it & be happy. I don’t know about you, but I would rather be a DOer. Goals don’t mean sh*t unless you ACT. Just like knowledge isn’t power unless there’s application. We were made to be ACTIVE participants in life.