Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
Thirsty for professional goals, relationship goals, self healing goals
Thirsty for freedom & adventure
Thirsty for peace
Thirsty for ambition
Thirsty for love
Thirsty for clarity
— Thirsty for all kinds of things & I don’t want any of you to apologize for your needs, wants, successes, &/or “failures.”
I spent so many decades feeling shame for not living up to other peoples expectations, timelines, & living a life that wasn’t authentic to my story.
Do you know that’s one of the biggest regrets of the dying? – Not living a life authentic to you.
Guess what?
My life is a BIG beautiful cocktail of chaos & joy. 🥃
It is never boring. 😉
I wanted to remind you guys today you don’t need to apologize or explain your life to anyone.
You don’t need to people please.
You don’t need to disclose everything if you don’t want to.
You don’t need to let that nagging pit of shame we all get we think we’re wrong or we’re not doing what is expected of us or we’re ebarrassed we changed our minds or we think we “failed” — whatever — control your thoughts
& actions
& belief about yourself.
Let your hair down & live a little, ya know?!
One of the biggest lessons I learned in my 20s & early 30s was that I didn’t have to EARN food, anyone’s approval other than my own, & that enjoying the present moment was more precious than waiting to lean into life waiting for the some days when…
when I’d lost weight
when I earned more money
when I was “pretty” enough
when I had achieved more
when I had the perfect relationship
We all deserve to write our own dxmn story, to eat the diet that helps us thrive, to choose movement & workouts our bodies & minds love, to choose the people we love, to give into our wildest dreams, spontaneity, sink into our routines, & fxck up.
You see there are different seasons of life I’ve in catagories:
The Mundane – the everyday “boring” stuff. Routine, chores, work, etc.
The Mess – the chaos, the road blocks, the f*ck ups, the contrast, the things & shadows we don’t like about ourselves.
The Magic – the sweet spots, the little things, the peace, the moments that make your heart sing with joy & make everything else melt away.
We must learn to nurture & love every season with grace. They make us – US.
My body has been all shapes and sizes through the years.
When I first started struggling with body image I was around 8 years old.
I was labeled as the “fat” girl and that label stuck with me for years. It paralyzed me from reaching my potential. Total mindf*ck. When you’re attached with a powerful label, it’s hard to simply pull that label off like a tag on a new pair of leggins. It takes the dirty work to remove.
I’m almost 60lbs lighter now today, after going meat-based with my diet over a year ago to manage my crohn’s. I’m a lot less f*cks lighter too than I was decades ago. Most of all I’m proud to love ALL my seasons, and I know my worth is not based on a number on the scale or my barbell.
My biggest pain point of criticism – I loathed my legs. I hated the way they looked. I hated the way they rubbed together. I hated the cellulite, the stretch marks. I hated the way they jiggled.
I spent years trying to attain slender legs with fasted cardio, strict low fat & low calorie dieting, binging, purging, running and walking often 30,000 steps a day – that’s not a typo.
What did I lose? Not the legs I was trying to get rid of. I lost friends, and memories, my health, and MYSELF along the way.
Here are some life truths I discovered along my journey that I hope can help reframe your life wherever it may be…
1.) You will never become the person you want to be if you don’t take care of your body. Do you perform, feel your best, & serve your family at your highest when you’re tired, overweight, your gut is a mess, and/or you’re obsessed with food, exercise, & basically hating life? Didn’t think so. Invest in yourself, it’s not being selfish.
2.) You are the sum of your surroundings. This includes your friends, your work, your hobbies, your food, and what you mentally consume. Are they nourishing you or depleting you on your path to who you want to be?
3.) A wish is not a goal. Make a plan and ACT. THAT is when your dream becomes a goal. You know my MO, you either DO or you DON’T. You wanna be a DOer or a DON’Ter?
4.) The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Noone can make you happy but yourself. If you can’t love the reflection in the mirror with tummy rolls, you can’t love the reflection with a six-pack. Appreciate your seasons. Losing lbs is not the answer to gaining your happiness. It’s a band-aid.
5.) The beauty is in the mess. It’s ok to try and chase the best version of your life, but if you’re constantly dreaming & searching for the perfect life you’re never truly living in the now. You’ll be forever unsatisfied.
6.) Rich is in the eye of the beholder. Rich doesn’t always mean money or material things. In fact, the most important things aren’t seen or felt. They’re experienced-freedom, peace, pride, laughter, love.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down-you go down with it. -Steve Jobs
7.) The most important food in the world is soul food. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
“Find what makes your soul sing with joy & try, as much as you can, to let that happen as often as possible. Listen to the inner-workings of your mind and be honest with yourself when things don’t feel right. Leave what doesn’t sit well and walk into new relationships, connections, & places with open arms. Forgive yourself for the shortcomings you’ve had (or think you’ve had) & celebrate where you will go next.And most of all, know that what you have to offer this world is valuable. And noone else can do it.” -Marisa Donnelly
Real Steps to consider for Successful “Dieting”
Everyday I have beautiful women come to me wanting to lose body fat. Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to see what your body can do. Change is good. Change is energy. We are entitled to see what our bodies can do no matter what season we choose.
The question: have you earned the right to lose body fat and are you mentally ready?
Avoid Common Mistakes:
Not being clear about what your goal really is? Do you want to gain muscle or lose fat? Two different things. Two different requirements, one a calorie surplus, one a calorie deficit.
Not setting a realistic goal and not being honest about how flexible or strict you want to be. Eating for general health and wellness is more flexible. You can go out with friends and have those occasional cocktails. Cutting for a photo shoot or competition? That means strict diet, training, and minimal “cheats.”
These require different levels of commitment:
Not periodizing your nutrition. You should not be “cutting” or “dieting” forever. Keep cuts 8-16 weeks MAX, limit to 1-2 times per year. Follow up with 4-6 months of maintenance or surplus calories to upregulate body systems.
Automatically assume you need to cut carbs to lose weight. Carnivore, low carb, & keto absolutely have their place. They work wonderful for people who need an insulin reset, an elimination diet, have autoimmune disorders, poor relationships with carbs, etc, but they’re also not “right” for everyone if they don’t suit your needs or preferences. What kind of training are you doing? Are you doing CrossFit, HIIT training, Orange Theory, Bootcamps, marathon training? You may do better utilizing some quantity of carbs in your diet. All of our bodies are different. YOU have to eat for YOU!
You think punching numbers in myfitnesspal, an online calculator, or following a template will spit out magic macros to solve all your problems. Do you think a calculator or template cares you’ve been surviving on poverty macros, struggle with work stress, travel, kids back talking and getting in trouble at school, gut issues, and can’t sleep at night? All affect your mindset, digestion, recovery, relationships with food, relationships with other people, and most importantly yourself. INVEST in a qualified coach! I offer consults every single day, even weekends and holidays for YOU. Inquiry HERE.
These were from a fat loss cut for photo shoot prep. I reversed for 3 months prior and then ate at surplus (2300 calories daily) for 2 months prior to going into my cut. I didn’t have to drop below 1500 calories during my 12 week cut BECAUSE I did my due diligence to heal and recover FIRST.
Truths about Fat Loss:
Healthy, nourished bodies lose body fat. Eating 1000 calories a day, surviving on sugar-free jello & lettuce is not a balanced diet, nor a protocol to set you up for a successful fat loss phase. You need to work on yourself for months to get your calories up & your body functioning like a normal human being.
All your systems should be in check BEFORE considering diving into a cut: your metabolism, your hormones, your period, your mindset, your stress level.
Ladies, your period is like your internal gauge your body is functioning properly. If you’re not having a period that is the biggest red flag. Did you know your body can conserve 30,000 cal/year by not having a period. Why? If your body takes away a natural process to conserve energy, that’s called survival because reproducing is not a priority. This also goes for down regulating your metabolism, your thyroid, & your sex hormones.
Your metabolism is not one singular thing like your brain or your arm or your liver. Your metabolism encompasses everything it’s everywhere. Your brain, your digestive system, your reproductive system – they all contribute. It will adjust to low calories and this is when you plateau. We can’t cut you any lower as a coach when you come to us eating 1200 calories a day.
Your body will not respond to a cut if you have not properly taken care of it before hand. This could take months or even years. Your body does AMAZING things on the daily. Appreciate it. It’s main priority is keeping you alive & guess what?
Your body gives two f*cks that you want to have abs & look good in a bikini. #REALtalk
I empathize with your frustrations. It took me years to work my calories up to true maintenance, 4 years to be exact. Took me even longer to heal my gut, manage triggers, and most importantly, step into my worth and cultivate a growth mindset.
My door is always open. Feel free to message, dm, or email. I would love to help you on your journey!
You’re not going to get THERE, by doing what you did to get HERE. Every uplevel in life requires a different you. Stop shrinking yourself to fit places you’ve outgrown.
These photos – just a couple of my seasons. I love them both & they both required a completely different woman.
If you’re gonna change – positive, upleveling change looks like:
Asking for what you want & being assertive in situations where you would’ve been silent
Not feeling bad or apologetic for asking for what you want, your needs, your dreams, your voice, your opinion, your authenticity, your space, your introvert, or your extrovert
Setting boundaries, having those conversations you don’t want to have
Acknowledging your deservingness & worth, opening yourself up to receive abundance, unapologetically requesting & accepting being paid for your time
Accepting help when offered, it’s not a sign of weakness
Allowing yourself to feel & be whatever feels intuitively right for you without worrying about labels or judgment. We matter simply because we exist
Celebrating every win, every joyous moment, receiving & giving acts of kindness & love
Cultivating self helping habits, routines, grace
Some of my favorite Jim Rohn quotes:
“Don’t say, ‘If I could, I would.’ Say, ‘If I can, I will.’”
“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”
“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”
“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.”
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”
“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.”
“Life and business is like the changing seasons. You cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself. Therein lies the opportunity to live an extraordinary life–the opportunity to change yourself.”
I don’t know about you, but these lit me up today! Enjoy Loves oxox
& fitness🏋🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🦾 — my Instagram & website quickly turned from a place I occasionally visited to a home 🏠💕I built & filled with memories, life lessons, & a family — all of you!
I wanted to take time this morning to simply thank all of you for being a part of my life & allowing me to add value to your life in anyway that you need.
In my bio, which I swear I have changed a million times as I evolved as a human, I added a quote that reads, “🤷♀️I f*ckd up a lot😄”
Guess what? I’ll continue to f*ck up a lot.
And you will too. It’s part of this journey called being human.
We don’t evolve & grow without a PUSH.
Just like a plant pushing thru the soil 🌱🪴🌷
It takes rain & sunshine 🌧☀️
Y’all know I love lists of life lessons.
They fill the pages of all of our storybooks📖
Scroll thru, reflect, & enjoy! Share with your fellow humans simply trying to do the best they can💞
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you. The only one that matters is the version you believe in your own mind.
The best decision I made was having all the hard conversations I didn’t want to have because those are the ones that change your life.
There’s a difference between feeling stuck & burned out. Feeling STUCK happens when you stop growing. It happens when you lose a feeling of purpose & you’re bogged down with too many tasks &/or energies of other people. Feeling BURNED OUT, you feel cognitively, emotionally, physically exhausted. Making it difficult to communicate, think, & work efficiently. LISTEN. If you’re feeling STUCK, try something new & chase whatever you’re passionate about. If you’re BURNED OUT, prioritize self-care & take a break, unapologetically.
Worry less if people like you & more about if you even like them.
Rejection is not as personal as it feels. Liking someone or being liked is more about compatibility than your worth. Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you. Read that again.
When dating, ask yourself if you would be friends with this person if you weren’t physically attracted to them. Do they make you a better person? Do they embody the person & life you desire? Be honest. This is a game changer. You are who you surround yourself with.
Stop ignoring red flags & patterns of behavior. Don’t think a mf wouldn’t do that to you, trust, a mf will def do that to you.
Stop living your life thru a piece of glass you rub & hold in your hands. The NOW is all we have. The past doesn’t need you anymore. The future hinges on your NOW.
Your LOVE life is only one area of your life. Don’t forget to nurture the rest. The grass is greener where you water it. You attract the energy you put out. When you envision your desired life, what does it look like? Be specific & embody the person that lives that life.
You are not your relationship. You both are 2 unique, amazing individuals that have chosen to live a life together. There’s YOU, there’s THEM, & there’s your RELATIONSHIP. You must honor all 3. The “right” person will feel like freedom & home, your safe place & your biggest adventure.
Have a firm handshake. Look people in the eye. Be honest. Never give up on people, miracles happen every day. Don’t be afraid to accept help.
Choose your life partners wisely. From this one decision can stem 90% of your happiness & misery. Learn to release people with a loving heart. Some relationships are only meant to last a season. Learn from them.
You dictate your reactions & control the pen that writes the words which fills the pages of your storybook. Don’t like your story? Write a new chapter.
A smile & a kind word go a long way. And they’re free.
The most interesting person in the room is the one most interested. Ask questions. Listen. Be a relentless optimist. Give people a second chance, think twice before giving them a third.
Be bold and courageous, live a life authentic to you. You’ll regret more of the things you didn’t do than the things you did do. Asking for forgiveness is easier than permission. 😉
Remember the golden rule. Treat others better than they treated you. Remember the 10 Commandments. Remember people may not remember exactly what you said, or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel.
I used to want to be the smallest girl in the room. Because thin meant she was the prettiest & worth being loved & admired.
Then I wanted to be BIG & small at the same time. I wanted to be BIG & STRONG & live a BIG life but I still wanted a small body.
Taking up less space may get you complements, it may change the way people see you, but it won’t change your worth or the relationship you have with yourself.
How you see yourself at your core will not change simply because of your weight. That’s part of the work you have to put in.
Your worth is also not based upon you accomplishing everything on your to do list, or over eating, or looking good in an outfit, or having too many cocktails or none at all, or plain just not knowing where you are in life or where you’re going.
The only way to throw those weights in the trash & rid yourself of feelings of being viewed as “less” is to cloak yourself with new, real truths & an entirely new narrative.
I’ll leave you with words from @annelamott 👇🏻
“What if you wake up some day, & you’re 65, or 75, & you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in those warm pools & oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly & you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism & people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination & radical silliness & staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.” — Anne Lamott
Go live that big juicy creative life, of imagination & radical silliness.
What I do & look like now really doesn’t mean jack or offer you as much value than the story that got me here today.
I can give you all the advice on what I practice & preach daily, but you can’t replace life experience, feeling emotions, & putting in the work.
I don’t know everything & I’m not an expert. But I have lived similar struggles just like all of you & I know what it feels like to sit in a shxt pool of self loathing.
🖤I was the fat girl. Kids were mean.
🖤In the 6th grade I was told I was too big to be a cheerleader.
🖤This one’s for the 14 yr old me that thought rice cakes & sugar free jello were meals & restriction was the only way to be thin & thus loved.
🖤This one’s for the 16 yr old me that thought skinny & having a boyfriend was all she needed for happiness & worth.
🖤This one’s for the 18 yr old me that beat herself up for gaining 20lbs in college bc she made memories w/friends.
🖤This one’s for the 20 yr old me that binged & purged & let food consume her every thought because she wasn’t as pretty or skinny as other sorority girls.
🖤This one’s for the 22 yr old me that got married too young, was a people pleaser, & turned to drinking to numb the feelings.
🖤This one’s for the 28yr old me, divorced, lost, partying, gut issues, & starving bc her body was the only thing she thought she could control.
🖤This one’s for the 32 yr old me that discovered Crossfit & fell in love with being strong, but let PR’s & comparison lead her to overtraining & completely fxckin up her hormones & gut for yrs.
🖤This one’s for the 36 yr old me struggling to figure out how to date & live in a world as an athlete with Crohn’s & special needs.
🖤This one’s for the 38 yr old me that continues to grow & evolve in a life that constantly changes.
For all the humans who scroll, comparing when they see a beautiful photo, know there’s a story & a lifetime of struggle there too.
What we do now is not a reflection of livin a perfect picture life, it’s a reflection of a lifetime of scars which are far from picture perfect —we should wear them proudly.
There is HOPE💓
Link HERE if you need a consultation & pep talk to get back on the right health journey for you🙏
Remember when your mom & dad used to say, “You’ll understand when you get older.”?
Well, I’m almost 40 & just when I think I have everything figured out I realize I still don’t understand a fuggn thing. 😂
The difference — I’ve learned to embrace & fall in love with my journey.
Learn from the lessons of your past.
Self awareness is a super power.
Had a fun podcast with Dan Rosada & @bigfatlifepodcast today! That will drop next Wednesday, I will post all the links! 🤘🏻
We talked about building our foundations 1st.
Most people wanna over complicate things or they just want people to tell them what to do without educating themselves or understanding how their bodies work, their emotional ties & relationship with food, how they respond to food, exercise, stress, etc.
I put it like this, you don’t tell builders to go ahead & put the walls & roof up on a house without building a foundation, right? Because it won’t work will it? Everything will come crumbling down.
I chatted with a friend today about age. How we don’t really understand why people fear getting older.
I don’t know about y’all but my 20’s & early 30’s were a train wreck. As I’ve aged, I started to wake up & realize I had been livin for everybody else but me. I disappointed myself with comparison & expectations instead of falling in love with the process & journey.
I ignored addictions to things like sugar & carbs, excessive alcohol/caffeine, men, negative self talk, seeking to change my body to make myself feel better rather than changing my mindset & relationship with self.
Now is the time to build your foundation & fall in love with YOUR journey! 🌈
I was never prepared for half of the shxt I’ve gone through, but I got thru it.
During a client consult call yesterday, the conversation turned into more about her habits & relationships than macros or diet — which often is the “weight” we are carrying around.
Our relationships with other people, food, ourselves, exercise — weigh enormously on our overall health (mental &physical).
Laughter, sleep, nature, nourishing food, sun, friends, alone time — all the best medicines.
My client said she didn’t think she was meant to be in a relationship because they never seem to work out.
I asked her if she was being honest with herself, honest with her partners & really clear on what she wants (or lack of).
She said she thought so.
And I said, “That’s your answer, you don’t just think so — you gotta know.”
I explained people come into your life as mirrors & teachers & if you’re lucky enough, you find a human you align positively with & fancy incredibly well. But that was up to her & the energy she was putting out there.
She said she feels timing is always off.
Sometimes honest feelings & bad timing make the most painful combination.
Thinking you met the right person but at the wrong time. You want so badly for things to work out but there’s that nagging “ I don’t think this is right” ache that won’t go away. Usually ends in dragging things out or hiding feelings which lead to resentment.
A quote that hit me hard in the past: “Some people keep changing partners to avoid changing themselves.”
READ THAT AGAIN
You can insert food & exercise there as well.
I was like, fxck me. I have done this for years🤦🏼♀️
I broke relationships & friendships because speaking up & healing myself didn’t feel “safe.”
I’d cut people out with no remorse without explaining how I was feeling. Because navigating conflict felt like I either had to be the villain or the victim, & that made me weak.
Fears, attachment styles, self sabotaging habits, etc — don’t be afraid to dig your own dirt. This could be the very thing keeping you from losing weight, attracting success, finding love or keeping the one you have or had right in front of your eyes.
What if instead of trying to fix your entire story, just focus on writing one extraordinary story at a time. Then commit to planting those extraordinary seeds every day and watch your story grow. I write everyday. Stories. Stories are important. For they create your identity. The book, Atomic Habits talks about stories. What stories are you telling yourself? What identity do you want to embody? What systems do you have in place to help you achieve your goals? I feel there are 3 big areas of emotion affected by the stories we tell ourselves. Money stories. Relationship stories. Health (Food & Body) stories. What I did wrong: all 3 of these in some way I discounted my worth & desires. I set blocks instead of boundaries — there’s a difference. For example, relationships: If I was asked out & I really liked a guy, I’d lose myself & completely change my plans to do what they wanted to do. This was me not valuing my needs. A block. Now, instead of completely denying myself of my plans/needs I would simply say, “Let me get my workout in (or insert whatever plan I had for myself). I will connect & confirm plans later because I would like to spend time with you.” This is me setting a boundary not a block. This application can be used across the board. Example, Health: instead of saying, “I’m not a morning person, I don’t have time to meal prep.” Set a system & a boundary. “I don’t like to get up early but I will commit to 3 mornings this week & meal prep lunches because I want to be healthy.” Choose extraordinary actions because you deserve to write extraordinary stories. Write the identity you want to embody around money, relationships, & health. Mine👇🏻 MONEY: I am safe, able, deserving, successful & abundant. RELATIONSHIP: I am loved, seen, heard, safe, & significant. My relationships feel like freedom & home. I want my future partner to feel the same in the way they need. HEALTH: I am healthy, energetic, thriving, strong, intelligent, & beautiful in every season. Inner calm, outer order😉 Share yours!
@russell_me22 & I danced our a$$es off. I had over 27,000 steps yesterday.
I have no voice today & my legs are sore af. Got in an easy mile walk this mornin to wake up. I get to work this weekend, it’s gonna be a long two 12-hour shifts 💀🏥 😆
My God I missed concerts.
Talk about soul food. And I ain’t talking about my crispy airfryer meat bars (which I’m gonna smash later.)
Your Saturday reminder to do whatever the hxll you wanna do that lights you up. Be whoever you wanna be.
You also have permission to change your mind. Too many people think they have to live by the rules or they can’t change their minds if things aren’t workin out whether it’s a job or food or workout or relationship.
Learn to roll with life. Roll with JOY & SURRENDER. (My words for this year)
This is for the human who falls in love. With others, but struggles to love themselves.
This is for the human who never feels good enough no matter what the scale reads or weight is on your barbell.
This is for the human who selflessly gives everything to everyone else but themselves.
This is for the human whose heart & intelligence run deep but still fails to see their own beauty.
This is for the human who doesn’t know what it feels like to feel alive & energized & not worry about food or what others think of them.
This is for the human who is 100% real & refuses to be anything other than themselves.
If you do ☝🏻 thing today, love yourself a little bit more💕
