Every uplevel of life requires a different you: a guide to get there

You’re not going to get THERE, by doing what you did to get HERE. Every uplevel in life requires a different you. Stop shrinking yourself to fit places you’ve outgrown. 

These photos – just a couple of my seasons. I love them both & they both required a completely different woman.

If you’re gonna change – positive, upleveling change looks like:

  • Asking for what you want & being assertive in situations where you would’ve been silent
  • Not feeling bad or apologetic for asking for what you want, your needs, your dreams, your voice, your opinion, your authenticity, your space, your introvert, or your extrovert
  • Setting boundaries, having those conversations you don’t want to have
  • Acknowledging your deservingness & worth, opening yourself up to receive abundance, unapologetically requesting & accepting being paid for your time
  • Accepting help when offered, it’s not a sign of weakness
  • Allowing yourself to feel & be whatever feels intuitively right for you without worrying about labels or judgment. We matter simply because we exist
  • Celebrating every win, every joyous moment, receiving & giving acts of kindness & love
  • Cultivating self helping habits, routines, grace

Some of my favorite Jim Rohn quotes:

“Don’t say, ‘If I could, I would.’ Say, ‘If I can, I will.’”

“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.”

“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”

“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.”

“Life and business is like the changing seasons. You cannot change the seasons, but you can change yourself. Therein lies the opportunity to live an extraordinary life–the opportunity to change yourself.”

I don’t know about you, but these lit me up today! Enjoy Loves oxox

Life lessons and a simple guide to livin

Lover of words🙋‍♀️, blogger of all things 

life❤️🐈‍⬛💀🌻🪴🧳 

food 🥩🥃

& fitness🏋🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🦾 — my Instagram & website quickly turned from a place I occasionally visited to a home 🏠💕I built & filled with memories, life lessons, & a family — all of you!

I wanted to take time this morning to simply thank all of you for being a part of my life & allowing me to add value to your life in anyway that you need.

In my bio, which I swear I have changed a million times as I evolved as a human, I added a quote that reads, “🤷‍♀️I f*ckd up a lot😄”

Guess what? I’ll continue to f*ck up a lot.

And you will too. It’s part of this journey called being human. 

We don’t evolve & grow without a PUSH.

Just like a plant pushing thru the soil 🌱🪴🌷

It takes rain & sunshine 🌧☀️ 

Y’all know I love lists of life lessons.

They fill the pages of all of our storybooks📖 

Scroll thru, reflect, & enjoy! Share with your fellow humans simply trying to do the best they can💞

Life Lessons I take with Me

By: Katie Kelly @lil_bit_of_fit

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you. The only one that matters is the version you believe in your own mind.

The best decision I made was having all the hard conversations I didn’t want to have because those are the ones that change your life.

There’s a difference between feeling stuck & burned out. Feeling STUCK happens when you stop growing. It happens when you lose a feeling of purpose & you’re bogged down with too many tasks &/or energies of other people. Feeling BURNED OUT, you feel cognitively, emotionally, physically exhausted. Making it difficult to communicate, think, & work efficiently. LISTEN. If you’re feeling STUCK, try something new & chase whatever you’re passionate about. If you’re BURNED OUT, prioritize self-care & take a break, unapologetically.

Worry less if people like you & more about if you even like them.

Rejection is not as personal as it feels. Liking someone or being liked is more about compatibility than your worth. Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you. Read that again.

When dating, ask yourself if you would be friends with this person if you weren’t physically attracted to them. Do they make you a better person? Do they embody the person & life you desire? Be honest. This is a game changer. You are who you surround yourself with.

Stop ignoring red flags & patterns of behavior. Don’t think a mf wouldn’t do that to you, trust, a mf will def do that to you. 

Stop living your life thru a piece of glass you rub & hold in your hands. The NOW is all we have. The past doesn’t need you anymore. The future hinges on your NOW.

Your LOVE life is only one area of your life. Don’t forget to nurture the rest. The grass is greener where you water it. You attract the energy you put out. When you envision your desired life, what does it look like? Be specific & embody the person that lives that life.

You are not your relationship. You both are 2 unique, amazing individuals that have chosen to live a life together. There’s YOU, there’s THEM, & there’s your RELATIONSHIP. You must honor all 3. The “right” person will feel like freedom & home, your safe place & your biggest adventure.

Have a firm handshake. Look people in the eye. Be honest. Never give up on people, miracles happen every day. Don’t be afraid to accept help.

Choose your life partners wisely. From this one decision can stem 90% of your happiness & misery. Learn to release people with a loving heart. Some relationships are only meant to last a season. Learn from them.

You dictate your reactions & control the pen that writes the words which fills the pages of your storybook. Don’t like your story? Write a new chapter.

A smile & a kind word go a long way. And they’re free.

The most interesting person in the room is the one most interested. Ask questions. Listen. Be a relentless optimist. Give people a second chance, think twice before giving them a third.

Be bold and courageous, live a life authentic to you. You’ll regret more of the things you didn’t do than the things you did do. Asking for forgiveness is easier than permission. 😉

Remember the golden rule. Treat others better than they treated you. Remember the 10 Commandments. Remember people may not remember exactly what you said, or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Now go make every moment magic 🪄 

Oxox

  • Coach K

Why you can’t live a BIG life always playing it small

I used to want to be the smallest girl in the room. Because thin meant she was the prettiest & worth being loved & admired.

Then I wanted to be BIG & small at the same time. I wanted to be BIG & STRONG & live a BIG life but I still wanted a small body.

Taking up less space may get you complements, it may change the way people see you, but it won’t change your worth or the relationship you have with yourself. 

How you see yourself at your core will not change simply because of your weight. That’s part of the work you have to put in.

Your worth is also not based upon you accomplishing everything on your to do list, or over eating, or looking good in an outfit, or having too many cocktails or none at all, or plain just not knowing where you are in life or where you’re going.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

The only way to throw those weights in the trash & rid yourself of feelings of being viewed as “less” is to cloak yourself with new, real truths & an entirely new narrative. ⁣

⁣⁣

I’ll leave you with words from @annelamott 👇🏻⁣

“What if you wake up some day, & you’re 65, or 75, & you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in those warm pools & oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly & you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism & people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination & radical silliness & staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.” — Anne Lamott⁣

Go live that big juicy creative life, of imagination & radical silliness. ⁣

Stay thirsty

xoxo ⁣

There’s more behind a picture than a wall

What I do & look like now really doesn’t mean jack or offer you as much value than the story that got me here today.

I can give you all the advice on what I practice & preach daily, but you can’t replace life experience, feeling emotions, & putting in the work.

I don’t know everything & I’m not an expert. But I have lived similar struggles just like all of you & I know what it feels like to sit in a shxt pool of self loathing.

🖤I was the fat girl. Kids were mean.

🖤In the 6th grade I was told I was too big to be a cheerleader.

🖤This one’s for the 14 yr old me that thought rice cakes & sugar free jello were meals & restriction was the only way to be thin & thus loved.

🖤This one’s for the 16 yr old me that thought skinny & having a boyfriend was all she needed for happiness & worth.

🖤This one’s for the 18 yr old me that beat herself up for gaining 20lbs in college bc she made memories w/friends. 

🖤This one’s for the 20 yr old me that binged & purged & let food consume her every thought because she wasn’t as pretty or skinny as other sorority girls. 

🖤This one’s for the 22 yr old me that got married too young, was a people pleaser, & turned to drinking to numb the feelings.

🖤This one’s for the 28yr old me, divorced, lost, partying, gut issues, & starving bc her body was the only thing she thought she could control.

🖤This one’s for the 32 yr old me that discovered Crossfit & fell in love with being strong, but let PR’s & comparison lead her to overtraining & completely fxckin up her hormones & gut for yrs.

🖤This one’s for the 36 yr old me struggling to figure out how to date & live in a world as an athlete with Crohn’s & special needs.

🖤This one’s for the 38 yr old me that continues to grow & evolve in a life that constantly changes.

For all the humans who scroll, comparing when they see a beautiful photo, know there’s a story & a lifetime of struggle there too.

What we do now is not a reflection of livin a perfect picture life, it’s a reflection of a lifetime of scars which are far from picture perfect —we should wear them proudly.

There is HOPE💓 

Link HERE if you need a consultation & pep talk to get back on the right health journey for you🙏

Fall in love with the journey and build your foundation first

Remember when your mom & dad used to say, “You’ll understand when you get older.”?

Well, I’m almost 40 & just when I think I have everything figured out I realize I still don’t understand a fuggn thing. 😂 

The difference — I’ve learned to embrace & fall in love with my journey.

Learn from the lessons of your past.

Self awareness is a super power.

Had a fun podcast with Dan Rosada & @bigfatlifepodcast today! That will drop next Wednesday, I will post all the links! 🤘🏻

We talked about building our foundations 1st.

Most people wanna over complicate things or they just want people to tell them what to do without educating themselves or understanding how their bodies work, their emotional ties & relationship with food, how they respond to food, exercise, stress, etc.

I put it like this, you don’t tell builders to go ahead & put the walls & roof up on a house without building a foundation, right? Because it won’t work will it? Everything will come crumbling down.

I chatted with a friend today about age. How we don’t really understand why people fear getting older.

I don’t know about y’all but my 20’s & early 30’s were a train wreck. As I’ve aged, I started to wake up & realize I had been livin for everybody else but me. I disappointed myself with comparison & expectations instead of falling in love with the process & journey.

I ignored addictions to things like sugar & carbs, excessive alcohol/caffeine, men, negative self talk, seeking to change my body to make myself feel better rather than changing my mindset & relationship with self.

Now is the time to build your foundation & fall in love with YOUR journey! 🌈 

Xoxo 

Lack of honesty in relationships — the actual “weight” you need to lose to gain

I was never prepared for half of the shxt I’ve gone through, but I got thru it.

During a client consult call yesterday, the conversation turned into more about her habits & relationships than macros or diet — which often is the “weight” we are carrying around.

Our relationships with other people, food, ourselves, exercise — weigh enormously on our overall health (mental &physical).

Laughter, sleep, nature, nourishing food, sun, friends, alone time — all the best medicines.

My client said she didn’t think she was meant to be in a relationship because they never seem to work out.

I asked her if she was being honest with herself, honest with her partners & really clear on what she wants (or lack of). 

She said she thought so. 

And I said, “That’s your answer, you don’t just think so — you gotta know.”

I explained people come into your life as mirrors & teachers & if you’re lucky enough, you find a human you align positively with & fancy incredibly well. But that was up to her & the energy she was putting out there.

She said she feels timing is always off.

Sometimes honest feelings & bad timing make the most painful combination.

Thinking you met the right person but at the wrong time. You want so badly for things to work out but there’s that nagging “ I don’t think this is right” ache that won’t go away. Usually ends in dragging things out or hiding feelings which lead to resentment.

A quote that hit me hard in the past: “Some people keep changing partners to avoid changing themselves.”

READ THAT AGAIN

You can insert food & exercise there as well.

I was like, fxck me. I have done this for years🤦🏼‍♀️

I broke relationships & friendships because speaking up & healing myself didn’t feel “safe.”

I’d cut people out with no remorse without explaining how I was feeling. Because navigating conflict felt like I either had to be the villain or the victim, & that made me weak.

Fears, attachment styles, self sabotaging habits, etc — don’t be afraid to dig your own dirt. This could be the very thing keeping you from losing weight, attracting success, finding love or keeping the one you have or had right in front of your eyes.

Lots of love y’all ❤️❤️❤️

The stories you tell yourself can create blocks or boundaries. How to create healthy boundaries for extraordinary stories!

What if instead of trying to fix your entire story, just focus on writing one extraordinary story at a time. Then commit to planting those extraordinary seeds every day and watch your story grow.⁣

I write everyday.⁣
Stories.⁣

Stories are important. For they create your identity. The book, Atomic Habits talks about stories.⁣

What stories are you telling yourself? ⁣
What identity do you want to embody? ⁣
What systems do you have in place to help you achieve your goals?⁣

I feel there are 3 big areas of emotion affected by the stories we tell ourselves.⁣

Money stories. ⁣
Relationship stories. ⁣
Health (Food & Body) stories.⁣

What I did wrong: all 3 of these in some way I discounted my worth & desires.

I set blocks instead of boundaries — there’s a difference. ⁣

For example, relationships: If I was asked out & I really liked a guy, I’d lose myself & completely change my plans to do what they wanted to do. This was me not valuing my needs. A block. ⁣

Now, instead of completely denying myself of my plans/needs I would simply say, “Let me get my workout in (or insert whatever plan I had for myself). I will connect & confirm plans later because I would like to spend time with you.”⁣

This is me setting a boundary not a block. This application can be used across the board.⁣

Example, Health: instead of saying, “I’m not a morning person, I don’t have time to meal prep.” Set a system & a boundary. “I don’t like to get up early but I will commit to 3 mornings this week & meal prep lunches because I want to be healthy.” ⁣

Choose extraordinary actions because you deserve to write extraordinary stories.⁣

Write the identity you want to embody around money, relationships, & health.⁣

Mine👇🏻⁣
MONEY: I am safe, able, deserving, successful & abundant.⁣
RELATIONSHIP: I am loved, seen, heard, safe, & significant. My relationships feel like freedom & home. I want my future partner to feel the same in the way they need.⁣
HEALTH: I am healthy, energetic, thriving, strong, intelligent, & beautiful in every season.⁣

Inner calm, outer order😉⁣

Share yours!⁣

Sometimes the struggle bus is worth it

The hug from @claytonanderson at the Slippery Noodle & 4 hrs of sleep last night were totally worth it. 🎶 🎸🎤

@russell_me22 & I danced our a$$es off. I had over 27,000 steps yesterday.

I have no voice today & my legs are sore af. Got in an easy mile walk this mornin to wake up. I get to work this weekend, it’s gonna be a long two 12-hour shifts 💀🏥 😆 

My God I missed concerts.

Talk about soul food. And I ain’t talking about my crispy airfryer meat bars (which I’m gonna smash later.)

Your Saturday reminder to do whatever the hxll you wanna do that lights you up. Be whoever you wanna be. 

You also have permission to change your mind. Too many people think they have to live by the rules or they can’t change their minds if things aren’t workin out whether it’s a job or food or workout or relationship. 

Learn to roll with life. Roll with JOY & SURRENDER. (My words for this year)

This is for the human who falls in love. With others, but struggles to love themselves.

This is for the human who never feels good enough no matter what the scale reads or weight is on your barbell.

This is for the human who selflessly gives everything to everyone else but themselves.

This is for the human whose heart & intelligence run deep but still fails to see their own beauty.

This is for the human who doesn’t know what it feels like to feel alive & energized & not worry about food or what others think of them.

This is for the human who is 100% real & refuses to be anything other than themselves.

If you do ☝🏻 thing today, love yourself a little bit more💕

Don’t be upset about the results you aren’t getting from the work you didn’t do

A client got pissed at me yesterday. I said, “Good, then I’m doin my job.”

I had several conversations yesterday via dm with people letting their mindsets & emotional heaviness get the best of them.

On repeat: You attract what you put out. You cannot become what you want by remaining where you are.

You gotta shift your mindset. Mindset is part of the work.

This particular client, flat refuses to eat more food yet wants to gain muscle & heal. And I get it, it’s a mindfxck. 

And I don’t care what goal y’all are chasin in whatever facet of life — DON’T BE UPSET ABOUT THE RESULTS YOU AREN’T GETTING FROM THE WORK YOU DIDN’T DO.

4 things I live by…& letting my weight or my Crohn’s or excuses control me — NOT any of those 3 things…

1.) Be mentally attractive, kind, & be worth knowing. You attract what you put out.

2.) Thou shall not judge because thou has fxcked up too.

3.) You either DO or you DON’T.

4.) 2 things I don’t like to share, toothbrushes & wieners. 

💁🏼‍♀️Slap that last one on a T-shirt.⁣

January 2021 I picked my word. Actually I picked 2: JOY & SURRENDER.

⁣Book Recommendation: One Word

How I choose mine:⁣

Step 1: Determine the person you want to be & embody. ⁣

Step 2: Identify the characteristics & things you need to do to be that person. ⁣

Step 3: Choose the word that resonates with your person & the life you want to create. ⁣

I want to know what y’all chose for 2021! What’s your word?👇🏻⁣

Confessions of an Empath & a Simple Guide to Grounding

Confessions of an Empath…

Any one else find themselves periodically somewhere between IDK, IDC, & IDGAF? 😆

“Who do you think you are?” she asked me.

I had a performance review when I was around 27 years old. My manager told me I had a “strong silence” which others took as me being arrogant & I needed to be more understanding of other people‘s weaknesses.

To put it bluntly: “You’re resting bxtch face & the fact you can do other people’s jobs better, make them uncomfortable.” 😂 

It was eye-opening & ego shattering at the same time. I had no idea that is how I was being perceived & it forced me to sit down & observe my past behaviors. 

Why did I develop this “strong silence?”

I was going through divorce at the time, in radiology school full-time & working part time on top of it.

💁🏼‍♀️I was like come on sister, my life feels like getting stuck halfway putting on a sports bra when you’re either sweaty or not dried off from the shower yet & I need Jesus to come down & cut me out of it. 

Part of this strong silence was because I am an empath. I’m sure many of you are asking wtf is an empath, Katie?

Empath: noun, a person with the ability to apprehend, experience, & understand the mental &/or emotional state of another.

I didn’t understand what was “wrong” with me when I was younger, just thought I was weird. 💁🏼‍♀️Well…I know I’m weird but I embrace my weirdness now.

Crowds give me anxiety. Jam packed email & DM inboxes give me anxiety.

I literally can feel & read the energy of a room — even a simple text message, too.

Watching a sad movie brings me to tears sometimes & hurts my soul.

I can observe a person & understand a sense of what they’re feeling, down to what kind of day they had.

This happens all the time — at the grocery store when I pass by people & at the gym.

Sometimes it’s suffocating. 

Which is why I’m quiet & wear my headphones a lot— not that I’m stuck up or in a bad mood.

Energy can feel heavy or light. I’ll put it this way, it’s like when you’re trying to follow directions & you turn the radio down because you can think clearer, you feel lighter, right?

I know I’m not the only one out here that feels the same things to a varying degree, so I wanted to tell you it’s OK to be quiet & take time to do what you need to do to ground & find peace.

It’s also OK to get frustrated to the point where you’re like fxck everything! 

Take a time out.

WAYS I GROUND:

Walk in nature

Walk breaks at work

Listen to music

Journal & write 

Color

Talk to a friend 

Spend time alone

Have a spa day

Infrared sauna

Workout

Get a massage 

Clean my home 

Netflix & cuddles with Pete 🐈‍⬛ 

Set boundaries & communicate them with others unapologetically

2 of my favorite quotes for inspiration today:

“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.” ― E.B. White.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, & could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.” — Erma Bombeck

We live in a society where we can literally be, have, & order anything & go anywhere we want at the press of a button.

We can communicate with people across the country with an app. We devour other people’s lives reel by reel simply by swiping, scrolling, & rubbing a piece of glass we hold in our hands.

We compare & criticize diets, religion, weights, bodies, workouts, politics, sex, race, relationship preferences, status, & bank accounts.

We doubt our sexiness, our abilities, our worth.

Just wanted to remind you it’s ok to be human. We need the contrast to appreciate the light.

Remember kindness, unity, & empathy never go out of style.

So pull up a seat at my table — your table, any table — & let’s get up every morning determined to both change the world & have one hell of a good time embracing our weirdness❤️