Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
In case you needed the reminder, it’s OK to be sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton. 🤚🥃
Yellowstone.
I have not been so obsessed with a show since Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill, & Sex and the City.
Who else?
I wanna hear what shows you love in comments!!!!👇🏻
Soooo I’m not naturally “feminine” per se.
4 words: Bull in China Shop. 🐮
3 words: Indiana. Corn. Fed. 🌽 😂
I guess I never noticed how rough around the edges I was until a boyfriend criticized me for always throwin sh*t around & slammin cabinet doors.
Drove him nuts.
I said we’ll maybe you’re just fragile🤷♀️😆
It made me wanna change myself, however. I thought, well dang, there’s something wrong with me.
I changed for him — & felt a pit of shame.
Ridiculed as my shyer, younger self, I felt less than. I didn’t fit the mold of the “pretty” girls at school.
So I spent the majority of my life tryna change & shrink myself.
I always find myself playing in the “boys club” — the guys girl. I have a very small intimate group of women I surround myself, but I find naturally I’m drawn to being friends with men.
I’m the oldest of 3, I have 2 younger brothers.
Played baseball until I was told I couldn’t play anymore because I was a girl. I still can’t throw underhand worth a sh*t.
I’m good at throwin a football but was told I’m a girl so I couldn’t play football. I have 1 helluva an arm. 💪🏼 My grandfather was the football coach.
I was raised on a farm in a small town in Indiana, treated no differently than my brothers.
We’re raised to be productive, strong, tough — rub some dirt in it you’ll be fine.
I excelled as a student, in the top part of my class, president of my 4-H & FFA clubs, had scholarships to Purdue & graduated magma cum laude. #boilerup
I’m grateful for every single piece of 50 shades of fxcked up that makes me — ME.
I’d tell my younger self 1 thing — you weren’t made to fit in, you were made to move mountains.🏔
I said, “Well I’m pretty easy to please, don’t tell me what to do, make me laugh, just give me a bowl of meat & I’m happy.” 😂
My gf & I FaceTimed. She said, “I must be too picky, wth is wrong with me.”
I said, “Bxtch you’re askin the girl who’s longest successful relationship has been with a cat named Pete 🐈⬛.”
Laughter is the best medicine😭
Some things I have learned in 38yrs…
✅You can’t send 2 questions to a man in the same msg or next msg before getting a reply to the 1st one. You’ll only get a reply to 1.
✅Stop being the person with a long list of expectations. Just enjoy the experience. If you feel in your gut they’re not someone you vibe with, you don’t owe them a long explanation. Be honest & strong, cut toxicity out of your life. Remember your list of values.
✅You spend the majority of your day rubbing a piece of glass 🤳🏻 Love life fiercely that’s all that matters. Not just the highlight reels. You don’t NEED someone to complete you. No one says you have to be married to be happy.
✅Grocery stores should put carts in the middle where my pride realizes I have too much shxt to carry. Dunno, maybe that’s just me🙃 #ThisIsWhyWeCrossFit
✅Stop thinkin “Nah, they wouldn’t do me like that.” Cause mfs will definitely do you like that. Choose your circle wisely.
✅Love someone enough their happiness is your happiness. Love them enough to know when you have to let them go. What’s meant for you will never miss you. Take risks.
✅When I was young I wanted 2 kids, a picket fence, & married by 21….lets all laugh together. 😂 Live your own timeline.
✅Part of me wants to be an independent woman who makes a shxt ton of money & the other part wants to be a trophy wife with new boobs & the most difficult decision of my day being what cocktail I wanna drink. Your wants & needs will change. Let them.😄
✅Beware of cocktails that taste like juice, before you know you it, you’ll have to pick up your dignity down the street. Treat your body like a trash can & you become the trash can.
✅It’s ok to go thru this phase called “fxck everything.” Do your squats & know your worth. People wanna be around people who bring the joy. Feel the feels but find the sunshine ☀️
This morning I read a post by @the.holistic.psychologist that said, “Not everyone wants to get better + & that’s ok. Some people have an identity tied to sickness. Others fear true wellness because it is the unknown + the unknown is unpredictable.”
Ooof. Felt that one in my soul. How about you?
A quote I live by, “At the end of our life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” – Jack Kornfield
Maaaaaaaan have I loved 😆
Have I always loved well, however? No.
I’ve worked in healthcare for 16 years, a health coach for 6, had I can’t even count how many “failed” (I put this in quotes because it’s only a failure if you failed to learn the lessons 😉) romantic relationships & fizzed out friendships where this statement was applicable at some point.
A big lesson I learned, you can’t fully support &/or love a person for where you want them to be — you have to meet them where they are now.
No matter what type of relationship we’re talkin about. You can’t discount yourself based upon someone else’s potential. You only have the experience right now.
I don’t care if you’re a coach, doctor, married, divorced, partnered, a friend or family relationship — you can’t wish someone well, they HAVE to do the work & want to do/get better.
I brain dumped.
What can I teach you guys today that I wished I had known decades ago? And I’m still learning right along with y’all…
Here goes…
How to Love Yourself AND Love the People in Your Life:
1.) Always be honest no matter how bad it hurts.
2.) The true mark of expansion, self love, peace, & evolvement is recognizing someone else’s happiness is your happiness even if that means making a hard decision & lovingly letting them go.
3.) Tell people how brilliant & able they are. Sometimes they don’t see it for themselves. Kindness is always cool. Remember the Golden Rule✨
4.) It is possible to love someone but not be in love with them. You determine what kind of relationship you want, be HONEST.
5.) Be authentic. Give others the gift of the real you & a real relationship. Don’t people please + change yourself for any kind of relationship. It will always come back & bite you in the a$$.
6.) Listen more than you talk. People want to be seen, heard, loved, supported, & appreciated. And remember, the most interesting person in the room is the person who is the most interested. Ask questions.
7.) Be giving, but never sacrifice or compromise your integrity or authenticity. Boundaries change lives for the better. Strengthen yours.
8.) Always live by your values. Thoughts become things. What you focus on, you attract. Your habits & people you surround yourself make you. Choose wisely.
I’ve been re-reading the book,The Vortex. Incredible life changing gems in this one. I’ll highlight a few:
— You can get to where you want to be from where ever you are — but you must stop spending so much time noticing & talking about what you do not like about where you are.
— Be a more selective sifter, and make a list of the positive things you are living & the qualities of people you love to surround yourself with.
— Look forward to where you want to be & spend no time complaining about where you are. The responsive Universe makes no distinction between the thoughts you think about your current reality & what you think as you dream of your improved life. You are creating by virtue of what you are thinking about.
— Your sense of who you really are pulses so powerfully within you that you must always continue to reach for satisfying relationships, because you understand, at very deep levels, the potential for joy contained in relationships with others.
— Once you decide that your happiness depends on the intentions, beliefs, or behaviors of no other, but only upon your own alignment — over which you have complete control — then your relationships will not only no longer be uncomfortable, but they will be deeply satisfying.
Now, put these gems 💎 in your front pocket & go out & LOVE somebody today, especially YOURSELF!
I invested $224 on a @scentsy order from a coworker just starting her side hustle last week.
She’s SO excited & eager.
I can see the sparkle ✨ of hustle in her eyes. My fellow entrepreneurs, you know what I’m talkin about: those dreamy, first time virgin optimism I’m gonna hustle&grind till I bleed, feels.
You also know what it feels like to think you’re a failure, not good enough, & an ‘imposter.’
So I wanted to do something nice for her like others had done for me in the past — build her confidence.
She said, “I took a chance, I dunno if I can do it.” 🤷♀️
I sat down.
I explained the power of her thoughts & vibration. She had to believe she was worthy & successful for the Universe to bring the right people & opportunities.
It takes aligned thoughts, feelings, & ACTION — not from a place of desperation or lack but of ease & abundance.
Did I need said $224 worth of the scent ‘Mystery Man’ in my life?
Maybe, maybe not 😂
Girls you know what I’m talkin about — God love the scent of a nice smelling man.
Am I right?!
Like not the ‘walking by Abercrombie & Hollister, overpowering, tryin too hard’ scent but the ‘confident, walking on the line of arrogance, sharp dressed man’ scent 🤤 Think Mr. Big. All my ‘Sex & the City’ 🌃 📺 👠 fans.
Someone stole my Fitbit watch last week as well. My fault, left it in the sauna bathroom when I changed. You would think most people would turn an item like that in.
They notified me no one turned it in. I replied, “That’s OK! I suppose someone needed my watch more than I did.” They were surprised with my response.
You see I’m grateful someone got pleasure out of me leaving my watch, & I’m grateful I have the finances to purchase another one, which is supporting someone else’s job too.
Look for the 💫 gold linings y’all & do something nice for someone. Your life will be so much sweeter.
And now…I can walk in my apartment to the delectable aroma of my Mystery Man ❤️🤗
I read, “You’re never going to be 100% ready and it’s never going to be just the right time, but that’s the point. It means that every moment is also the right moment. If you want it, you just have to do it.”
Hi five to whomever wrote that.🙋♀️
You wanna know why it’s so hard to get what you want (or what you think you want)?
Fear.
Doesn’t matter if it’s losing weight, talking to a person you like, moving, asking for a raise or going after that job you want.
Muscle ups scare the shit out of me but I commit to practicing relentlessly because I believe in my ability and deservingness of having what I want out of life.
**Some hard truths to take with you into 2021**
1.) You have a short term attitude that doesn’t align with your long-term intentions
Without a long term intention & approach to anything in life, you’re bound to suffer a rebound when you figure out it isn’t working. It’s that “oh fxck” moment…
How you respond afterwords determines everything.
Take weight loss for example. Say you go low carb, lose a few pounds of water weight after a couple days, then discover it’s harder than you thought, your body isn’t responding as quickly as you thought — so you go back to old self sabotaging habits.
How about we commit to something more than 2 weeks? Commit, experiment, try & THEN if it’s still not working, it’s OK, be proud of yourself for trying!
Part of success is willingness to take a risk, yet also being smart enough to own it if it’s not working and search for another solution.
2.) You lack a quality support system
Your environment is everything! Fitness, career, social media, relationship related — doesn’t matter.
Any source that makes you feel bad about yourself and drags your vibration down — get rid of it, unfollow, block, trash it. Replace them with sources and people who are positive & successful & living the life you desire.
I personally have been called a savage for the ability to cut people & things out of my life with no remorse if they are not serving my highest alignment, but guess what? I am a whole hxll of a lot happier because of this skill. Doesn’t mean you have to be an dxck, but be HONEST.
Don’t worry about what other people think of you, you will never be happy if you’re constantly people pleasing. Own your shxt, own your life.
You control your thoughts, environment, and reality of your life. Choose accordingly.
3.) You lack clarity & don’t really know what you want
Write out your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Learn to BE with yourself. Align your thoughts & actions accordingly to be the person you want to embody and that life will follow.
If you’re chronically stressed, sleep deprived, overworked, & talk down to yourself, your life will be a helluva lot harder.
Set you day up for success. You should have a success routine & habits in place. I wrote a blog just the other day about 8 things you should do every single day to be more successful. I suggest you go back and look at that.
Keeping these 3 hard truths in mind will allow you to create the space to welcome more abundance in your life.
As the sun sets in Steve Job’s Life, he gave the world one last gift. “The World’s six best Doctors” – by Steve Jobs.
As I walked in the sun yesterday, enjoying the warmth on my face, I reread this essay. I let the words that resonated with me sink in….
ox Enjoy!
This is his final essay:
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In some others’ eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, my wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone bear your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found or replaced. But there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost – Life.
Whichever stage in life you are in right now, with time, you will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.
Treat yourself well and cherish others.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down – you go down with it.
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, that is true happiness!
Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price.
Eat your food as your medicine, otherwise you have to eat medicine as your food.
The One who loves you will never leave you for another because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find a reason to hold on.
There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.
You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage!
The six best doctors in the world are – sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence and friends.
Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy life!!
I could talk all day about the mistakes I’ve made throughout my fitness journey.
To name a few:
Feeling I had to earn food or use it as a reward
Yo-yo dieting & falling for fads, pills, & what Karen down the road was doing
Wearing restriction as a badge of honor then falling victim to self-loathing, disordered eating & exercise habits
Eating all the wrong foods for me physically and mentally causing paralyzing G.I. distress
Equating my worth with abs & a number displayed on a dirty box which sits on my bathroom floor
Losing weight doesn’t have to feel like a punishment, in fact that’s the one thing you must avoid.
Think about it, if you hate what you’re eating and how you’re training, do you think you’re going to stick to it?
— Heck no.
Losing weight is simple, but it’s not EASY. Ultimately it comes down to being in an energy deficit. (Taking in less energy than you are expending)
We over complicate the process. We set ourselves up for failure by chronically dieting, picking the wrong kinds of workouts, picking the wrong kinds of foods we cannot digest & absorb properly, we over stress, under eat, under educate ourselves, under execute, & over train.
Don’t even get me started on the negative self talk & shxtty mindset syndrome.
30 years ago (I’m almost 39 now😬) my fitness journey began. I was 8 years old. My heaviest weight was 160 lbs on a 5’1 frame.
Right now is actually the lowest weight (avg 107-110lbs) & best health I’ve ever been. And I’m eating at my true maintenance (calories around 2000-2200 daily). Maintenance is we all should be hanging out the majority of our lives.
I’ve made the same mistake as you have. We are all different as far as what foods & training work best for you.
Here are some examples of hacks that have helped me keep the weight off and I hope it helps you find the right tools for your toolbelt too!
Abstainer: cannot have just 1 cookie without then eating or wanting to eat the whole pan. Does better with food rules and a more “all or none approach.” More prone to binge eating.
Moderator: can have 1 cookie and be satisfied. Needs more flexibility.
Are you a food addict? Get real with yourself. I understand this stuff isn’t pretty.
What is your relationship with carbohydrates? Are they like drugs which trigger self sabotaging habits? How do they make you feel? Do you need them for your health & fitness goals for optimal health, performance, & recovery? What is your daily threshold that makes you feel your best?
2.) CHOOSE THE FOODS & TRAINING YOU LOVE AND HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH
For me, it’s animal based nutrition. Protein & healthy fats are the center of my meals. I do not have a good relationship with carbohydrates and have many emotional and physical trigger foods. I only consume carbohydrates when I need them for optimal health, performance, and recovery. I find eating carbohydrates makes me crave more carbohydrates & I’m not satiated as sticking with meat only.
I prefer CrossFit like training. I love the community, I love the variety, I love it combines strength and aerobic conditioning. It’s effective af & keeps me happy. Therefore it’s easy for me to stick to my routine.
3.) EAT & TRAIN INTENTIONALLY & MINDFULLY
The food you eat literally makes you. Choose accordingly. Slow down when you eat, enjoy every bite, chew thoroughly, eat till you’re 80% full. Same with your training. Pick a goal and stick with it. Keep your commitments to yourself. Work hard & rest when you need to and be intentional about both! Motivation is fleeting, your integrity & character are forever.
4.) SET YOUR NONNEGOTIABLES & FLEXIBILITY
Especially important when it comes to social functions & family. Set step goals. Mine are between 13-15k on average. Maybe you allow yourself 2 cocktails on the weekends, maybe it’s one untracked meal with family, maybe it’s 2 refeed days on the weekends, maybe it’s more carbohydrates one day a week, maybe it’s dessert a couple times a week, maybe you do better being strict for a couple weeks & taking a week off, maybe you prefer to take your own food when you go out. Anything goes, you are your own boss, but OWN IT.
5.) GRATITUDE AND CELEBRATE EVERY WIN
Y’all gratitude is everything. You can’t hate yourself healthy and love yourself healthy at the same time. Which one would you rather choose? Take progress pictures, the scale isn’t the only indicator of success. Maybe you’re eating for better energy and better biofeedback. Maybe you’re trying to get stronger. The number on the scale does not dictate your worth or achievement.
6.) MANAGE YOUR MINDSET & OWN YOUR DAY
You should have a success routine nailed down. I talked about 8 things you should do every day that will change your life, yesterday. Check out that post and blog. If you continuously tell yourself you are a failure & always fxck up, guess what? That’s what you’ll attract & become. Talk to yourself like your best friend. What would you say, what advice would you give her or him? Be the person you want to embody.
You can make moves or excuses. You either DO or your DON’T.
Tips to optimize a low carb lifestyle as an athlete/avid exerciser with special digestive needs:
▫️For my carnivore low carb’ers:
1.) Just get adapted-eat meat, find the low carb sources you love, cut the junk, find what eat windows that work for your schedule, track to make sure you’re eating enough food.
2.) Focus on healing any gi issues & give it time. Be patient & consistent. You don’t feel good all the time, as with any diet it takes time to find your groove. Most hit a slump around 2 weeks. Reduce the intensity & volume of your workouts (especially my crossfitters & Orange Theory enthusiasts)
3.) Thrive & THEN play around with fat loss or muscle gain goals. You’ll be more self aware & educated once your reach this point.
Not until someone is adapted & healed do I recommend any kind of playing around with fat loss cuts.
For some it may take 3-6 months or it can take years depending on what kind of healing (gut, hormonal, metabolic etc) you have to do.
▫️For someone who is just learning how to best manage IBD – I wanted to share my learning tools as an athlete. Do not give up who you are because of IBD – you will need to adjust & pay attention to your body, but you can continue to do what you love as well! There will be good days & bad days. Some days you may need to modify workouts, movements, intensity & volume.
SLEEP & HYDRATION
I drink water with electrolytes from @goultima Sleep has made the biggest impact on me physically & mentally. Shoot for at least 7 hours. I am in bed asleep by 8:30 at the latest most days, wake at 4am the majority of week days. Sleep is the most important thing to manage during any season. NON NEGOTIABLE.
NUTRITION
Everyone has different triggers & different needs. Do not apologize for having to eat a certain way or bring your own food in social situations. Food choices are extremely important. For me, I find lowfodmap, easy to digest, gluten free, low lectin, minimal dairy, animal based nutrition with the exception of white rice, plain rice cakes, & rice Chex cereal if I feel like I need some carbs (don’t crave or need them anymore now that I’m fully adapted to a more carnivore lifestyle). But I believe you should always leave room for flexibility & no diet dogma. Do what works for you. Carbs are most optimal post workout & in the evening prior to bed.
SOCIAL SITUATIONS
I understand this is a rough spot for many with autoimmune issues &/or special digestive needs. Use your uniqueness to educate others why you need to eat the way you do. Maybe it’s something they need to hear too. Be confident, bring your own food if you have to, eat before you go out, custom order your meals. I set a limit of 2 alcoholic beverages in social situations & also mix my own drinks the majority of the time. Just order a shot of whatever liquor you want & whatever mixer you want. That way you have control over how much alcohol is in that drink. There have been times I’ve also brought @zevia as a mixer. Voice your needs to the restaurant & they will accommodate.
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Stress plays a huge role in inflammation. Sleep, take more rest days when you need them, make sure you’re eating enough food for your activity, take walks, spend time alone.Learning how to manage stress is a skill. Be kind to yourself!❤️
She told me I really have no idea my purpose or where I fit in.
To anyone who has struggled with this question, I feel your emotions to my core.
Some of my painful realizations that may help you too:
👉🏻I love entrepreneurship but I’m a really shxtty number 1 person when it comes to running a business. I’m a GREAT connection maker & number 2!
Learned this coaching nutrition full time at one point & managing a sales territory for an online meal prep company.
I have gifts I’m naturally good at. Im a responder by nature, not an initiator. Great idea thinker. I’m phenomenal at reading people & the energy in a room — which makes me good at connecting with emotions.
I loathe being ‘salesy’ & feeling like I HAVE to make sales for my livelihood. I lose the love for it and build resentment.
The thought of cold calls make me CRINGE. I also HATE luke warm small talk. Give me a hot lead, give me something to respond to & I’ll close the deal 99% of the time.
Taking on a high volume of clients takes a huge toll on my energy. I had to learn to scale & balance my loves of healthcare & coaching to create a positive, abundant, & safe environment to cultivate a lifestyle I loved without losing my shxt.
I felt ashamed & embarrassed to own this for years. Felt it made me a “failure”
I enjoy working as a team & for other people. I need direction but enough freedom to not feel caged in. That’s the sweet spot where I thrive.
It hurts. It’s painful to go through these experiences, but let me remind you the roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important people & places you’re meant to be.
My 1st job ever was working on my family farm.
2nd was working as an animal science lab assistant at Purdue.
3rd was a vet tech.
4th was a well-paying job with a
pharmaceutical company.
—I hated it.
I made the decision my happiness was worth more than a paycheck.
Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I met my 2nd love — healthcare. My 1st will always & forever be agriculture.
Guess what?
Still dunno wtf I’m doin or where I’m goin. One thing is for dxmn sure my life is never boring😂
It’s OK to not know.
It’s NOT OK to settle for mediocrity.
Don’t be afraid to take risks & take the path less traveled.
