5 habits I learned that make you the most charismatic mofo in the room

Had a message recently from a woman who asked me how she could feel like a woman of worth walking into a room.

Some deep sh*t, right?! I’m thinkin now what kind of baggage do we have to unpack for this one? 🤔😆cause we all got our bags.

So I brainstormed.

It really comes down to charisma & mental toughness. As you sharpen your ability to be more charismatic, you open up so many more doors for yourself.

The work is dirty. It may hurt. It may make your eyes well up. And it’s absolutely necessary sometimes to find your sparkle ❇️

A lil bit about my story…

This child was called fat. This child was called ugly. This child felt she would never be the girl that sparkles when she enters a room. This child is me.

I was told to lose weight & I tried to diet before I was ten years old. My self-esteem & body issues started at 8 years old.

I hated my body.

I was told on numerous accounts, “If you just lost weight, you would be as pretty as all the other girls in school.”

Hurt like a bxtch every time.

Translated into: You’re not special. You won’t be successful &/or loved unless you’re thin & look the part.

Swipe through the slides on IG, continued with much love, growth, & inspiration on your Monday❤️ I’ll add the content & slides below for my non-social media peeps.

Oxoxo Coach K

5 habits I learned that make you the most charismatic mofo in the room

You Listen More Than You Speak

You like to be heard & understood, right?! Take time to lend a listening ear.

The most interesting person in the room is the most interested. Be curious about what other people have to say. The best way to learn is to listen.

I’ve found this also keeps you from saying something ignorant or rude. LOL! Goes both ways too. Sometimes you gotta let someone else make their own mistakes, that’s how we learn.

This also allows you to listen to your own thoughts before you respond. You’ll be amazed the things you learn & notice when you observe. Be hungry AND humble.

How You Do It:

Let the other person finish before you reply.

Empathize with what they have to say.

Reflect on what they said later & how you can apply this to your own life.

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” Bryant H. McGill

You Love Yourself As You Are

You see yourself as a confident, smart, & uniquely amazing human. You understand this is not being selfish, but necessary. You catch yourself before letting self sabotaging thoughts take over, you pause & say “I’m worthy simply because I exist.”

You carry yourself like a high value human with purpose. You believe in yourself & your ability to achieve anything in this world. You wake up to positive, healthy affirmations, thoughts, & gratitude about yourself & life before starting your day.

You’re confident affirming things like, “Everyone likes to be around me because I’m me.” & “I’m attractive, confident, successful, abundant, & able.” You do not align to speak negative words to yourself because you know words have power & thoughts become things.

How You Do It:

Affirm kind words to yourself every day & visualize becoming better!

“Self-confidence is a superpower. Once you start to believe in yourself, the magic starts happening.” Unknown.

You Realize Emotions Are Fleeting

Charismatic people are calm, collected, & confident in challenging situations. You choose to seek solutions & embrace rock bottoms & “failures” as lessons, simply experiences, & opportunities for growth instead of shame.

You know that emotions & motivation aren’t always logical, they’re ever changing. You understand motivation is unreliable but discipline will get it done. Cultivate discipline & you can do anything despite motivation or lack of.

You live by the 4 Agreements & never take anything personally.

When your emotions are being challenged in a moment, you handle it like a PRO not an AMATEUR.

How You Do It:

Pause & take a deep/slow breath before reacting. Add self care everyday & fill your cup. Remind yourself anything meant for you will not miss you & a no means there’s something better.

“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron.

You Speak Up Confidently & Clearly

Frankly you don’t give a sh*t about what people say about you or your experiences. You trust & stand strong in your word, worth, creditability, & authenticity.

You’re okay with learning, apologizing, & constructive criticism. You’re not quick to judge, seek first to understand, & understand hurt people hurt people. Always choose to high road & remember the Law of Karma.

You embody essential qualities of a leader: Integrity, Ability to delegate, Communication, Self-awareness, Gratitude, Learning agility, Influence, Empathy, Courage, Respect, Ability to also Follow. Maybe being a “leader” is not for you, but you still have the charisma to help someone else by giving them the confidence & tools to be a better human.

How You Do It:

Practice expressing what you’re passionate about. Journal your thoughts & opinions. Push yourself outside your comfort zone, no matter how shaky your legs are, that’s how your grow & find answers.

“You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that makes you laugh.” Joe Rogan.

You Live By The Golden Rule

Golden Rule, precept in the Gospel of Matthew (7:12): “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” You treat everyone with kindness & respect, even if you’ve been wronged. You make sure everyone feels welcomed in a room & genuinely want to get to know people every day. You smile at everyone you meet.

John Antonakis from the University of Lausanne has studied charisma for over a decade. He stated, “Charismatic leaders can be loved by those who share their values & loathed by those who don’t.” You, however, focus on adding value to the lives of everyone around you. You also remember to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Don’t let the hate of this world stop you from being kind.

How You Do It:

Greet everyone with a smile. Be present, engage in conversation, make eye contact. Be supportive of your fellow human, there’s more than enough abundance in this world.

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Albert Einstein.

Final Thoughts

You can be charismatic no matter who you are or where you come from. Charisma is a skill that can be taught & developed. It will become second nature after repetition just like anything else.

You could change someone’s life just by lending a listening ear, sharing your story, inspiring someone else by your discipline, speaking & standing up for your beliefs, & treating others as you would wish to be treated or better.

And here’s your reminder you’re badass no matter what.

January 8, 2022

Why the diet you follow doesn’t matter and what you need to focus on instead

Listen, I have “Crossfit boobs.” Aka card toting member of the #ittybittycommittee to all my newbies round here…confessions of another dirty bathroom photo + Pete 🐈‍⬛

I am 55lbs lighter now than my heaviest weight. I’m 5’1… snack sized, fun sized, been called a spinner before 💁🏼‍♀️whatever you wanna call it 😂

Our bodies change hourly sometimes.

I do not have flat abs by the end of the day typically. Y’all it’s called food & we gotta eat. You didn’t get “fat” in that hour, you just ate & lived.

The majority of the time I haven’t washed my hair in a week (I really do only wash it once a week) & I’m standing here in my @jcpenney underwear & @kincaidsmeatmarket in Fishers

I’m lucky to wash my face at night because I’m lazy af & work 60 hrs a week. I need to do better on this account 😂 🧼 Dirtball status x10

Being a sustainable lifestyle lean, eating food ya love, having a supportive community & relationships you love, movin your body & doing workouts you love, havin purpose, fulfillment, & happiness are so much sweeter than any piece of cake or savory piece of bacon or any shredded ab or muscle striation I could ever have.

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I’m telling you this because I know there are a lot of you in the same spot I was. Still self sabotaging on the weekends.

I spent decades fighting against my body’s needs. Chronically dieting, eating food that triggered tons of physical & emotional problems, getting nowhere. Nowhere but pissed off until I learned about food, owned what diet & fitness I wanted to do, how to periodize my nutrition properly, & the fact I actually needed to EAT.

In all reality it took me a decade to build the body that you see in front of you.

It’s really simple now guys I just eat meat because I love it & it makes me feel good. And I eat a lot of it. At least 2lbs a day. Some days that I’m really hungry I can smash 3lbs & I’m 105lbs. You can eat & eat well.

THINGS YOU LOSE CHRONICALLY WORRYING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT:⁣⁣

🦄Your vibrance⁣⁣

🦄Your joy⁣⁣

🦄Your clarity ⁣⁣

🦄Your flexibility⁣⁣

🦄Your mind⁣⁣

🦄Your relationships⁣⁣

🦄Your energy⁣⁣

🦄Your life ⁣⁣

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Remember, the diet you follow doesn’t matter. Your ability to adhere to that diet protocol does. Your body’s metabolic state & ability to appropriately adjust to that diet does.

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Here’s your reminder: Don’t spend your life fighting against yourself. You have so much more to offer the world than worrying about what someone else thinks of you.

⁣⁣oxox Coach K

What would you tell your best friend you love about them?👇🏻

January 7, 2022

4 things to be thankful for & how to stop “Shoulding” on yourself

4 things to be grateful for: what you currently have, where you currently are, how far you’ve come, & the person you’re becoming.

If you had told me 2+ yrs ago I would be where I am today, I would’ve told you you were crazy.

2 yrs ago I was 37, 20lbs heavier, married, confused af, still trying to find my way in life, food, & fitness.

I realize as the woman standing here today, 39, 20lbs lighter, divorced…I will always be finding my way in life, food, & fitness & that’s ok.

Realize change takes a lot longer thank you think and it’s a life long process.

This is my year of ‘I want to…’, not ‘I should…’⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

If I can teach you anything today let it be this…stop ‘shoulding’ yourself.

Things that helped me to stop the shoulding:

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1. Align with your values. When your actions are aligned with your highest values, then you’ll be assured you’re ‘doing the best that you can with what you’ve got at that time.’ By living a values-driven life, there will be less room for the word ‘should’ in your vocab.

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2. Strengthen your relationship with Self Trust & Self Awareness. Listen to your intuition & allow it to guide you. Spend time alone to reflect on all the moments that you have listened to your gut & it’s served you well. That’s your proof.

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3. Talk to yourself. Notice the times your self-talk involves the word ‘should’ – because change will only happen with awareness. Being aware of your inner critic will allow your inner-nurturer to appear.

Things to tell yourself:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

“This is good enough & I am ok with it.”

“I am doing my best.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

“I am more than enough.”

“I don’t owe anyone anything. I validate myself.”

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By ditching the word ‘should,’ you start nurturing the badass that you truly are ❤️‍🔥

Oxox

Coach K

#flashbackfriday

January 6, 2022

Positive shit you need to hear on Blah Days

Honestly, I think one of the most empowering things you can do to remove weight is to separate what you view as a negative thing or quality from your identity.

Instead of saying things like:

My life sucks

I’m fat, lazy, a failure, a loser, etc

I can’t

I’m unlovable, unsuccessful

I’m not special

I’m weak

or whatever the hell ya wanna put here…

Recognize the feeling & frame it as an action or quality that you are consciously working on rather than an unchangeable part of who you are. It’s not who you are, it’s what you feel you are. Feelings are fleeting & malleable.

I want you to repeat everyday, & I DGAF if you think it’s stupid, it will change your life if you believe:

“Everyday in every way I am better and better.” – that’s it.

Today’s Message…

The Universe always replaces what exists in your life with something bigger and better, only if you believe. Release what’s stuck, release holding on to the past or resisting change. Welcome new skin & new energy. Let go of what needs to be removed. There’s great blessings in surrendering & allowing the Universe to take care of you.

Swipe, save, tag, & you have my permission to share freely…to all humans out there just tryna be better.

oxox

Coach K

January 2, 2022

The greatest lesson I ever learned and the secret to happiness

I really don’t care if 1 or 1,000+ people read my posts. I didn’t always start out with this mindset tho. There was a time I saw myself as insignificant if a larger number of people didn’t “like” things I shared daily.

The greatest lesson I ever learned was advice given to a bellboy in 1922 on how to be happy in life by Albert Einstein.

I mean isn’t that what we all are searching for? I’d tell you you’re full of sh*t if you said no.

Tis the time of the top 9.

I’m always surprised by what comes up. It’s crazy to see what the digital world views as your top 9 “most important” posts of the year.

These were mine.

So back to the Einstein thing & message of this post…

The story goes that has Einstein was exiting his hotel in Tokyo, a bellhop came up to deliver something & instead of giving him a monetary tip, Einstein handed him 2 pieces of paper.

On the 1st he scribbled what has now been termed Einstein‘s theory of happiness:

“A calm & modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”

I took this advice to heart & this is how I strive to live my life.

I am happy because I don’t want anything from anyone.

I know money is just energy & there is always abundance.

Achievements & productivity don’t define me & titles really don’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things.

Everything I do is in the name of growth, love, & Joy.

I realized when I lived life simply doing things I loved with enjoyment, the time passed by effortlessly & the things that were meant for me found me & I was always provided for.

You may be sitting there thinking this may be Pollyanna but may I remind you on that second piece of paper he handed to the bellhop:

“Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

Triggered?

Let this be the kick in the a$$ if you needed it.

You’re welcome.

Oxox Coach K

Go on witcher bad self, Albert.

#topnine

January 1, 2022

My not so New Years resolutions, the carnivore diet, and what you should do instead

I’ve talked about how I choose a word every year. I choose a word I desire to embrace & embody. This year, & it also, now, being the start of #worldcarnivoremonth – I feel maybe it should be BEEF 🥩🐮🦾😜

2 years “carnivore” & a lifetime to go. #bodybybeef #Merica

The word I choose helps me to make decisions, to think, to feel, to BE the essence of that word in every facet of my life. I have learned over 39 trips around the sun in this lifetime to be my own accountability partner, my own best friend, my own favorite – my most important love.

I learned to love my body because it is the longest commitment & only forever home I’ll ever have.

I learned to love my weirdness, my mind, my heart, & my spirit because it makes me, ME. And nobody else can look like me or BE ME. Same for you.

I can’t believe I’ll be 40 this year, I remember when I thought 25 was old, then 30 was old, & now it seems 40 is the new 20. I can tell ya I feel a whole helluva lot better as an almost 40 something than my 20 year old self.

My journey has been both pleasure & pain. I’m sure yours has been too. I understand.

I hear you, see you, support you.

I’m right beside you unpacking & packing those bags sippin on that cup of coffee or cocktail, pick your poison.

I’m not writing this post today, on 1-1-2022, to tell you what to do, or to tell you I have all the answers to whatever you want to change or troubles you, but I am writing this to tell you that you can do it. I’m writing this to tell you that I believe in you.

I used to pick 5-10 new goals each year. I realized a singular day on the 1st of the year, setting goals like I was “supposed to” never turned me magically into Superwoman. It didn’t magically give me the health I wanted, the body, the career, the money, the friends, the love I desired.

I was still the same ole weird lil creature that I am, still overwhelmed with trying to change too much all at once, still “shoulding” all over myself. Still lost in all the information & society’s expectations.

Within a month or so, I failed or fell off the wagon & had to start over.

Smaller.

With lower expectations.

Shrinking myself.

F*ck that sh*t.

I’ve told y’all before, you can’t live a BIG, full, ABUNDANT life on an empty tank.

For a few years, I gave up on resolutions entirely. Then, I discovered the book, “One Word” & it changed my perspective. Instead of a sh*t ton of goals, I set intentions to embody 1 goal, 1 word, & that worked a lot better.

That concept is using your word as a theme for your year.

My word for this year is ‘Abundance.’ My word for last year was ‘Joy.’ Other words I’ve used were peace, growth, & grace.

I challenge you to simply glance at the year ahead & choose a word you’d like to embody as a pillar & map of growth.

Quick annoucement to my baby carnivores & people wanting to try a meat-based diet, my group coaching is open & ready to welcome you with open arms. Coaching FAQ’s in link in IG bio and HERE

You can always dm me and don’t forget to sign up for our email list HERE

oxox

Happy New Year! LFG!

Forever your biggest fan,

Coach K

#carnivorediet #carnivoreguide #lowcarbdiet #carnivorefatloss #animalbasednutrition #meatbaseddiet #carnivorewomen #ketocarnivore #ketodiet #carnivoreketo #ketomacros #carnivoretransformation #carnivorecoach #animalbaseddiet #carnivoreathlete #lchfdiet ⁣#resetdiet #autoimmunediet #crohnsdiet #fitmoms #strongmoms #lowcarbreset #losebellyfat #fatlosstips #crossfitgirls #girlswholift #carnivoretips

December 31, 2021

New Years resolutions and habits to bring into 2022.

➡️How bout them Boilers? 🏈 💛🖤🤍 #btfu

➡️I slept until almost 7. Our patient numbers in the ER are insane. Grateful for a day off right meow.🐱

➡️I Googled #fengshui for the new year yesterday & they said to wear red or yellow underwear for good luck 🤷‍♀️🍀🩲 contemplating buying some😄 although I really hate wearing underwear. Jus sayin. I know I’m not the only one, don’t lie.

➡️Set routines not resolutions for the new year. You have to BE the lifestyle & the person you want. Routines will get you there, vapid resolutions with no true intention or action will not.

➡️Figured out how to keep Pete from waking me up when I don’t have to get up early. Set my auto brew on the coffee pot maker till later. ☕️ 🐈‍⬛ He hates it when I work on my computer in the mornings. He’s a Snuggle bug.

Holy sh*t tomorrow is a new year. I know they say as you get older time flies by, they ain’t kiddin. We’re only here for a short blip.

Simply sharing things on my mind & heart this mornin. Swipe through for lessons I wished I’d learned earlier & “That Girl” habits to bring into 2022.

I just want to thank y’all for your love, your kindness, your dedication to yourselves to learn & grow & do that with me, here.

Click photo for all the slides and life lessons!!

I promise the time that we spend here together is never wasted & I’m grateful for each & everyone of you!

To all my past, present, & future digital family, I love you guys!

Let’s have us a year 🎉 🥩 🥂

Eat the meat. Go to the f*ckin gym. Be kind. Don’t be a d*ck.

Oxox

Sorta sweet, Sorta Beth Dutton

✌️ Coach K

December 18, 2021December 18, 2021

Money, Love, Abundance, & End of the Year Reflections that Make You Think…

For Christmas last year I gave away alcohol & money as gifts. Merry Christmas ⁣
Probly do the same this year. Why lie?

I also bought my family Christmas Eve dinner – which was @doordash of all the delicious wings from @tpindyi69 Twin Peaks because that the only place open & none of us wanted to cook.

Just thought I’d not bullshxt around & put that out there
We had the best Christmas ever simply because we were together.

End of the year reflections & intentions…⁣
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Do you know I had never had a Christmas before that where I hadn’t worried about money?⁣

There was a time I didn’t know if I’d have enough money to buy eggs & I lived out of my office.⁣
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Last year was the 1st year I had enough money that I didn’t have to worry about it.

There was a time I could’ve told you how to sneak into every pool & hotel to snag free breakfast to save money.

Brand name clothes were not something I could align funds for. Goodwill, Walmart, second hand & the discount rack, bishes.

In college, I stayed home while my sorority sisters went out shopping.

Self confidence, vibrancy, energy, mindset, frequency & self-awareness were not things in my consciousness at the time.

I viewed money as a bad thing, something I had to work really really hard for & always felt there was never enough. And if I wasn’t saving every penny, that made me a bad person.

I came from a middle class world. We didn’t dare leave lights on, waste food, buy “unnecessary things”, or be caught not working or doing chores because that was viewed as being lazy.

From childhood I thought love was earned thru accomplishments, productivity, & what you looked like.

I felt I was never good enough to attain the life, love & wealth – things that other, luckier more affluent people had.

Totally mind fxcked me for decades. I’m grateful now to have healed to the point of peaceful evolution & gratitude.

The holidays are hard on people. I get you.

The New Year is like some imaginary clean slate that people think on January 1 everything will be different when they truly have the opportunity to clean the slate any day they want.

I paid off more than $43,000 in debt last year — in a damn pandemic.⁣ Dunno how. I had faith that I could & let the Universe take care of the rest.
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I paid off all my credit cards, a consolidation loan I was paying $730 a month on for 3 years. I purchased a new vehicle, finally restored my credit & spent money on the things that brought me joy without apology.⁣
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This post really isn’t about money but I needed to write this stuff out & just give thanks for this point in my life. Maybe you can relate too.
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I realized I’m my own best friend. I love being alone but I’m never lonely. I don’t need anyone else to complete me — I am complete. I am ready to finally let an aligned special someone in if it’s the right time.
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The past 2 years have been painful as hell too, probably 2 of the most painful & biggest roller coasters I’ve been on in my 39 years – in every facet of my life.⁣
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I’ve had to swallow my ego more times than all the shots on my 21st birthday y’all
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Every year I reflect on what I’ve been thru & what I could do better. ⁣
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I come up with a motto & a word to symbolize intentions for my next year. ⁣
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My motto for 2021 was:
“Wherever I go, there I am.”⁣
⁣Still is.

2022 is:
“The wheel turns.”

Because wherever I go I will choose to make the most of it & cultivate a life & environment that brings me joy. I will honor my changes, emotions, needs & evolve as I need to.⁣
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I will have purpose, impact, & I will serve to the best of my abilities.⁣
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My word for 2021:
JOY.⁣
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I promise to still live with JOY.⁣

My word for 2022:
Abundance.
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So I’ll raise my glass w/y’all, cheers!

Happy Saturday from the VA btw and GO COLTS! Headed to the game after my shift

What’s you word for 2022?

oxox Coach K

December 4, 2021

I hope you find love, but most importantly, I hope you love yourself

There hasn’t been a day of my life where I haven’t needed to read a quote, a poem, an affirmation, a book, or beautiful words from a talented creator to express how I feel, give me a hug, punch me in the gut, break my heart, or put it back together.

You know what I mean?

I told a friend one time I understood the feeling of that hopeless pit. I said, “I hope you find love, but most importantly, I hope you love yourself more to be strong enough to walk away from what love isn’t & find peace in the realization that you are already love.”⁣

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In my 20s/early 30s I made plenty of bad decisions after my 1st divorce at 27.⁣

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Plenty of fast & furious acquaintances, some more longer-term, they all aided in growth (some more enjoyable than others 😂)⁣

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Hxll, let’s be honest, some I don’t even remember. It’s like that person you put in your phone as “Joe Bumble” or “Dude from Texas” 😆📲⁣

I talked about this in therapy. My therapist said it’s because when I was younger I didn’t believe I was worthy of love I desired.

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Which is why I picked men that were not on my level, & to be frank, EASY for me. 🤦🏼‍♀️fxck me, she’s right.⁣

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She said now I’m “selective & guarded”because I’m actually afraid I might find someone & be forced to choose between my happiness & freedom of autonomy & that person. I’m afraid to make the same mistakes like being a people pleaser & losing myself.

Today was an absolute sh*t show at work. One of those days the ER is completely full all day, like a waterfall that never stops. Don’t get me wrong, I love busy days. I love the rush. It’s an addiction & a high for me.

Like working.

I know it’s an addiction. I love working to the point of exhaustion, same with physical labor.

💁🏼‍♀️I’m a special kind of crazy, I know.

And I realized this week I use it partly as a shield. It’s really hard for me to get truly close to someone, to crack open & completely expose myself emotionally.

I know I don’t NEED anyone. I love myself & my life so much it’s kind of embarrassing.

Not in a narcissistic way but I have so much appreciation for the woman writing these words today compared to the woman 5 years, 10 years, 20 years ago.

I can bleed my heart via words with y’all & I’m not ashamed to talk about heartache or things I really just am not good at.

My last marriage ripped me to shreds. I hadn’t taken a chance & loved someone like that in a long time.

I come back even better every time I experience a failure whether it’s in life, love, or fitness.

I hate heights. I’m even more afraid of falling. I’m not afraid of love, I’m more afraid of rejection & the scattered pieces of my heart that follow.

I’m not afraid of being alone, I’m more afraid of committing to a relationship & feeling lonely, again.

I’m proud of my risks & mistakes. I would never know how good it feels to realize you love someone so much it brings you to tears & no matter how much that other person pisses you off, you can look at them & you’re like, “Yeah, that’s my person.”

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The thing is – I’m not the same woman as I used to be, & neither are you. We have the privilege to learn from our past experiences, good & bad, to find US & THEM.

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Tips if you’re stuck in this rut:⁣

– Take off the mask & filters. Perfection isn’t needed, the “real life shxt” is what builds a solid foundation.⁣

– Own your baggage. Have the hard conversations you don’t want to have, with yourself & the people in your relationship.⁣

– Be open to meeting someone with the same level of consciousness. You attract the energy you put out. You also have to be open to receive & believe you’re worthy of your desires.⁣

– Live with JOY & Unattachment to outcomes. You have control over your reactions, which means you choose whether it is a positive experience or a negative one. It’s simply an experience, not a right or wrong decision. ⁣

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Hope this helps🤗⁣ I’m working on them too.

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YOU ARE ALREADY LOVE!❤️⁣

⁣

Oxox Coach

November 20, 2021

Uncomfortable Truths I Wished I Had Realized and Accepted Earlier In Life

Feeling pretty & PRETTY STRONG this mornin. Shamelessly admiring my arms in the freakin awesome lighting🦾 @hotworx.fishers

Your homework is to take time to simply love on yourself today, too. You’re magnificent!

Photo dump on IG of my morning success habits which includes me writing to y’all (& myself) every single day.

Workout at HotWorx Fishers. Loving the new Blast workout!

I had a great workout & sweat sesh while learning & listening to @iamsahararose & @itskrista talk about The Law of One. Well done sisters👏🏼 this was mind-blowing 🤯 & remarkably expansive!

Link here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/highest-self-podcast/id1244644906?i=1000542464069

Sparked what I felt nudged to channel & share with you guys:

Uncomfortable truths I wished I had realized & accepted earlier in life …

Here goes…

Happiness is the byproduct of living your purpose.
Happiness doesn’t make you happy, having purpose makes you happy. Once you become at peace with your purpose, your life & your body will fall in line. You won’t feel the need to numb & self sabotage with emotional eating, gluttony, self-loathing, overspending, sleeping around, excessive drinking – pick your poison.

Talking with clients & reflecting on my own journey, the reason we self sabotage is because we’re trying to find love & stimuli outside of ourselves & feel we have no purpose, no significance.

It’s like eating when you’re bored. It’s like the elderly & their partner dies or they’re put in a nursing home or you take their keys away, they often expire shortly after. It’s like taking away their purpose.

Gut check moment, right?!

Learn to redirect your mind & you then learn how to redirect your life. It’s your choice.

We all have definitions of heaven & hell.
We are all deliciously unique individuals. Just let people BE. Loving someone in the hopes that they will change is not truly loving someone. Truly loving someone is giving them the free will to live as they choose. This includes learning to lovingly release & let people go. Remember everything happens for you not to you. Stop trying to cram a round peg into a square hole.

Not everyone wants to be in the same kind of “relationships.”
The definition of a relationship will be different for us all. We’re all One. One Love. There is no right or wrong way to live your life, it’s all an experience of your choosing.

I personally feel there is no requirement to have to slap labels or legally binding contracts on relationships to make them more significant or lucrative.

What “successful” looks like, what “beautiful” looks like…if they make you happy & fulfill some part of you, let it BE & savor the moments. And if you choose at some time to be exclusive or to change your definition in a different way, let that BE & savor the moment or the season. Stop over complicating shxt.

Have a partner who wants to see you thrive & evolve WITH YOU or no partner at all.
Y’all, being around energy vampires who’re trying to keep you small is painful af – AND your decision. One of my best friends, as well as myself, have been in a relationship(s) where the other persons needs & goals were always way more important. You felt all that mattered was that you made it as easy as possible for THEM to move forward & be comfortable. If you achieved success, they were jealous, felt you were overshadowing, it was never as good as theirs, & your goals were ridiculous.

Even though we sometimes can’t choose whether we fall in love or not, we can indeed choose whether we stay with someone. There’s a big difference in being alone & lonely. I will repeat this to my very last breath.
If your partner constantly dulls your shine & all you feel is your energy waning & seeking to people please, it’s probably the wrong partner.

A rich relationship should be full of support, nourishing challenge, & encouragement. If someone doesn’t want to see you achieve your dreams, they won’t be there when you hit rock bottom either. Sorry Sis, no, quit bullshxttin yourself. And just because a relationship has lasted “a long time” doesn’t mean it’s working.

Life isn’t “fair” it just “is.”
If you expect life to be fair, you’ll be disappointed & never reach your potential. Shxt happens, & sometimes, there’s no reasonable explanation for why things happen or why people do what they do.

Ultimately I do believe we manifest our lives & attract what we get, we attract what we are. So think about that & control what you can control, which is your vibration & reaction to things.

There won’t ever be a better time to start.
Most people waste their lifetime procrastinating instead of living their desired life because they think there will be a “better time to start.” You never know how much time you have left, & life is certainly too short to postpone experiences that bring you joy. Making a wrong decision is better than making no decision. It’s like that saying I love SO much, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” 😂

Money is simply energy & it has power.
No matter if you like it or not — money matters.
Learn to love it. Learn to appreciate it. It isn’t bad. It doesn’t make people bad. The vast majority of the global population spends 40+ hours per week working for money. Most people hate their jobs, but stay because they need to “pay the bills.”

Many of us spend a significant part of our lives working for money, I personally LOVE working, it brings me happiness & a feeling of purpose, but most people deny its importance or they let it define them.

Stop denying the power & importance of money & start learning how to use it to your advantage & give back. Make it work FOR you, stop wasting it on useless things, use things love people, invest only in things that bring you joy & upleveling.

Money isn’t everything, but it certainly brings you freedom, the ability to give back, & makes life a whole helluva lot easier & more fun.

Social media can steal your time, energy, & your soul but it doesn’t have to.
I have a love-hate relationship with Social media. The trolls make it unbearable some days, haters gonna hate, hurt people hurt people, etc. etc.

Your voice matters, don’t let other people stifle what you want to share with the world. Be proud of your life & your body. You can decide whether you use social media to make your life better or worse. You have control over what you consume & what you see.

Choose to be a creator, not a consumer of content. I loathe the word influencer, I choose to be an Authority. Sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton vibes. 🙅🏼‍♀️😉 Where my Yellowstone fans at?! 👋

Final thoughts…
Life ain’t always easy but it’s always good. It’s a privilege to wake up & be alive. Don’t expect life to be fair, create your own rules. Or do as I do, I don’t do rules I do what feels right.🙃

If you constantly choose comfort & ignorance over courage & awareness, you’ll end up being the puppet of others. If you, however, manage to embrace the following truths, you might be able to design an extraordinarily fulfilling, purpose-driven life earlier than I did.❤️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

Oxox
Coach K

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