You know what’s really, powerfully sexy?
- A sense of humor
- A taste for adventure
- A healthy glow
- Openness
- Depth
- Confidence
- Intelligence
- Humility
- Appetite
- Intuition
- Ambition
- Presence
I’d choose the above over abs any day.
You see there are different seasons of life I’ve in catagories:
The Mundane – the everyday “boring” stuff. Routine, chores, work, etc.
The Mess – the chaos, the road blocks, the f*ck ups, the contrast, the things & shadows we don’t like about ourselves.
The Magic – the sweet spots, the little things, the peace, the moments that make your heart sing with joy & make everything else melt away.
We must learn to nurture & love every season with grace. They make us – US.
When I first started struggling with body image I was around 8 years old.
I was labeled as the “fat” girl and that label stuck with me for years. It paralyzed me from reaching my potential. Total mindf*ck. When you’re attached with a powerful label, it’s hard to simply pull that label off like a tag on a new pair of leggins. It takes the dirty work to remove.
My biggest pain point of criticism – I loathed my legs. I hated the way they looked. I hated the way they rubbed together. I hated the cellulite, the stretch marks. I hated the way they jiggled.
I spent years trying to attain slender legs with fasted cardio, strict low fat & low calorie dieting, binging, purging, running and walking often 30,000 steps a day – that’s not a typo.
What did I lose? Not the legs I was trying to get rid of. I lost friends, and memories, my health, and MYSELF along the way.
Here are some life truths I discovered along my journey that I hope can help reframe your life wherever it may be…
1.) You will never become the person you want to be if you don’t take care of your body. Do you perform, feel your best, & serve your family at your highest when you’re tired, overweight, your gut is a mess, and/or you’re obsessed with food, exercise, & basically hating life? Didn’t think so. Invest in yourself, it’s not being selfish.
2.) You are the sum of your surroundings. This includes your friends, your work, your hobbies, your food, and what you mentally consume. Are they nourishing you or depleting you on your path to who you want to be?
3.) A wish is not a goal. Make a plan and ACT. THAT is when your dream becomes a goal. You know my MO, you either DO or you DON’T. You wanna be a DOer or a DON’Ter?
4.) The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Noone can make you happy but yourself. If you can’t love the reflection in the mirror with tummy rolls, you can’t love the reflection with a six-pack. Appreciate your seasons. Losing lbs is not the answer to gaining your happiness. It’s a band-aid.
5.) The beauty is in the mess. It’s ok to try and chase the best version of your life, but if you’re constantly dreaming & searching for the perfect life you’re never truly living in the now. You’ll be forever unsatisfied.
6.) Rich is in the eye of the beholder. Rich doesn’t always mean money or material things. In fact, the most important things aren’t seen or felt. They’re experienced-freedom, peace, pride, laughter, love.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down-you go down with it. -Steve Jobs
7.) The most important food in the world is soul food. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
“Find what makes your soul sing with joy & try, as much as you can, to let that happen as often as possible. Listen to the inner-workings of your mind and be honest with yourself when things don’t feel right. Leave what doesn’t sit well and walk into new relationships, connections, & places with open arms. Forgive yourself for the shortcomings you’ve had (or think you’ve had) & celebrate where you will go next. And most of all, know that what you have to offer this world is valuable. And noone else can do it.” -Marisa Donnelly
Real Steps to consider for Successful “Dieting”
Everyday I have beautiful women come to me wanting to lose body fat. Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to see what your body can do. Change is good. Change is energy. We are entitled to see what our bodies can do no matter what season we choose.
The question: have you earned the right to lose body fat and are you mentally ready?
Avoid Common Mistakes:
- Not being clear about what your goal really is? Do you want to gain muscle or lose fat? Two different things. Two different requirements, one a calorie surplus, one a calorie deficit.
- Not setting a realistic goal and not being honest about how flexible or strict you want to be. Eating for general health and wellness is more flexible. You can go out with friends and have those occasional cocktails. Cutting for a photo shoot or competition? That means strict diet, training, and minimal “cheats.”
These require different levels of commitment:
- Not periodizing your nutrition. You should not be “cutting” or “dieting” forever. Keep cuts 8-16 weeks MAX, limit to 1-2 times per year. Follow up with 4-6 months of maintenance or surplus calories to upregulate body systems.
- Automatically assume you need to cut carbs to lose weight. Carnivore, low carb, & keto absolutely have their place. They work wonderful for people who need an insulin reset, an elimination diet, have autoimmune disorders, poor relationships with carbs, etc, but they’re also not “right” for everyone if they don’t suit your needs or preferences. What kind of training are you doing? Are you doing CrossFit, HIIT training, Orange Theory, Bootcamps, marathon training? You may do better utilizing some quantity of carbs in your diet. All of our bodies are different. YOU have to eat for YOU!
- You think punching numbers in myfitnesspal, an online calculator, or following a template will spit out magic macros to solve all your problems. Do you think a calculator or template cares you’ve been surviving on poverty macros, struggle with work stress, travel, kids back talking and getting in trouble at school, gut issues, and can’t sleep at night? All affect your mindset, digestion, recovery, relationships with food, relationships with other people, and most importantly yourself. INVEST in a qualified coach! I offer consults every single day, even weekends and holidays for YOU. Inquiry HERE.
Truths about Fat Loss:
- Healthy, nourished bodies lose body fat. Eating 1000 calories a day, surviving on sugar-free jello & lettuce is not a balanced diet, nor a protocol to set you up for a successful fat loss phase. You need to work on yourself for months to get your calories up & your body functioning like a normal human being.
- All your systems should be in check BEFORE considering diving into a cut: your metabolism, your hormones, your period, your mindset, your stress level.
- Ladies, your period is like your internal gauge your body is functioning properly. If you’re not having a period that is the biggest red flag. Did you know your body can conserve 30,000 cal/year by not having a period. Why? If your body takes away a natural process to conserve energy, that’s called survival because reproducing is not a priority. This also goes for down regulating your metabolism, your thyroid, & your sex hormones.
- Your metabolism is not one singular thing like your brain or your arm or your liver. Your metabolism encompasses everything it’s everywhere. Your brain, your digestive system, your reproductive system – they all contribute. It will adjust to low calories and this is when you plateau. We can’t cut you any lower as a coach when you come to us eating 1200 calories a day.
- Your body will not respond to a cut if you have not properly taken care of it before hand. This could take months or even years. Your body does AMAZING things on the daily. Appreciate it. It’s main priority is keeping you alive & guess what?
Your body gives two f*cks that you want to have abs & look good in a bikini. #REALtalk
I empathize with your frustrations. It took me years to work my calories up to true maintenance, 4 years to be exact. Took me even longer to heal my gut, manage triggers, and most importantly, step into my worth and cultivate a growth mindset.
My door is always open. Feel free to message, dm, or email. I would love to help you on your journey!
If you’re ready, start HERE! 🥰