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10 ways to improve body image


If there’s one thing I want you guys to focus on before starting this new week it’s cultivating a better relationship with yourself.⁣
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Body image issues can stunt & affect any kind of progress or growth in every facet of your life.⁣
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I can tell you after losing almost 50lbs over my 38 yrs on this earth, the weight loss doesn’t magically make you love yourself more or fix any problems.⁣
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10 Ways To Improve Body Image Issues⁣
Source: Myself & The National Eating Disorder Awareness⁣
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1️⃣ Stop comparing yourself to others. Love & appreciate your body for what it is & what it is becoming as you live a healthier life.⁣
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2️⃣ Remember that beauty is not just about appearance.⁣
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3️⃣ Question the media & things you consume. Especially social media. Most of what you see is photo shopped & the highlight reels.⁣
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4️⃣ Dress in clothes that make you feel your best! Wear literally whatever the hell you want. You wear your clothes they don’t wear you.⁣
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5️⃣ When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. You are a beautiful sum of all your imperfections.⁣
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6️⃣ LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. What do you NEED? A walk? Yoga? A bath?! Listening help so much!⁣
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7️⃣ Use the time and energy you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others. Sometimes helping out other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world.⁣
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8️⃣ Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person.⁣
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9️⃣ “I am” affirmations! Say them, write them, believe them! ⁣
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🔟 Don’t rely on others for confidence boosts! Your worth comes from within.⁣
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Also, seek help. Therapy does wonders❤️⁣
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The power of being your own best friend

I love a glass of Prosecco, laughs, & good conversation.

Sometimes that’s all a girl needs.

I’m an introvert by true nature. Used to feel guilty for it. I recharge in my aloneness, however.

As this fine wine has aged, I find so much peace in being alone. Having a small circle of friends. And I find myself realizing, finally, I am my own best friend. 

Being alone used to be a fear for me. I can’t think of a more pressingly painful feeling that cuts deeper than falling into the bottomless pit of loneliness.

Heartbreak is a close second.

My girlfriends & I talked about how as you age you become more comfortable knowing what you want and what you don’t and having no remorse for your feelings, thoughts, needs, & behaviors.

I am so grateful for the shit & numbing I’ve had to wade through to get to this point.

Here is the tricky part about the art of numbing: There is only so long a person can survive off Band-Aids. At some point, you’re going to have to treat the infection — even if it means having to feel the burn when the painkillers start to wear off. The breakdown.

That’s the beauty of the breakdown. When you hit a rock bottom, you’re forced to make a choice. You either die, or you deal with it.

I talked this morning about how the relationship with yourself dictates all of the relationships with everyone else in your life. 

In learning to be my own best friend, I found the remedy for loneliness & stillness & mundane. I hope these words can help you.

I encourage you to take the time to get to know yourself. Don’t be afraid to confront all the feels. Don’t apologize for your wants and needs and all the weird shit that makes you, you. Some days even if I really like you I just flat don’t feel like talking to people. And I don’t apologize for that anymore.

No matter how hard or how amazing or how confusing or wonderful or wild life is, you will never be truly alone if you harvest a loving relationship with yourself.

You are the most precious person in the world. 

I think I’m funny as hell, I laugh at myself all the time, I have complete conversations with myself.

And if you can do that, you’ll never be alone. ❤️

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Training lessons learned the hard way

Had someone tell me yesterday, “I want to look like you. How do you eat & train?”

I replied with, “You can’t look like me & I can’t look like you.”

This mornin before work, I had about 40min. So this is me, a shameless gym selfie, committing to me.

Some important things I’ve learned the hard way I want to pass along when it comes to training.

Listen, I’m not the expert, but I have been one to make all the wrong moves first.

I’ll lead off with hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. You know the saying. I’m not just talking about this in the aesthetic sense, same thing goes to your healing protocols & taking time off too.

Here goes…

1️⃣Genetics play a big part & if you hate what you’re doing you won’t stick with it. Consistency & adherence get you results with nutrition & training.

We’re not genetically made to all look the same. Thru trial & error, you will find the aligned nutrition & training program that work for you. INVEST in coaches & trainers to guide you. Quit your diet & program ADD.

2️⃣Be intentional about your training. Just because you go to the gym doesn’t mean you’ll see results if you’re not really doing the work. Just like hiring a nutrition coach, you still have to do the work. Stop trying to out supplement shitty nutrition, over training, & putting more work into posing in the squat rack or being more concerned if your hair & makeup look on point in your IG video.

→ Follow your program.

→ Nutrition & recovery build your foundation. 

→Supplements aren’t really that important. The basics are. SLEEP.

→Prioritize HEALTH first. Eat food. Get your gut & hormones in check. 

3️⃣MOST important, manage your mindset. You can wish all you want but if you don’t commit to yourself, don’t believe you can achieve, & still tell yourself you fxck up all the time — you’re gonna fxck up all the time.

We all have cups we fill: self care, career, relationships, body goals, financial goals. Choose which cup to drink from & which one to refill. Your seasons will change & that’s ok. But commit fully to that season so you can truly reach your potential.

I wish you all the best!

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Self love is the best love

A while back, someone slid into my DM‘s & commented I had no boobs, no butt, & my eyebrows were too thick… ⁣

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💁🏼‍♀️Apparently they drank the Hater-aid.

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Years ago I would’ve been crushed. Most likely starved myself for weeks later because it was something I could control. Or tried to find the next work out that would change my body. Maybe different hair color. A bandaid. A drug. A high. ⁣

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It happens to us all the time. What you have to realize is when people lash out at you like this, that is a reflection of how they view themselves.  It really has nothing to do with you. ⁣

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Love them anyways. Wish them healing. ⁣

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I posted these beautiful words on my Instagram stories almost a year ago:

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“Every day, she falls in love -⁣

She falls in love just a little bit more.⁣

She falls in love just a little bit more, with who she is, and with who she isn’t.⁣

She falls in love just a little bit more, with her flaws, her fears, and her insecurities.⁣

With her smile, her her laugh, her voice, and her body.⁣

With her passions, her goals, her dreams and her future.⁣

Every day, she falls in love -⁣

She falls in love just a little bit more, with exactly who God created her to be -⁣

This unique, intelligent, independent, kind, caring, funny, creative, talented woman with a beautiful mind, a loving heart, and an incredibly deep soul.” @allthings_possible ⁣

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What we really have is a happiness & lack of self-awareness problem. 

It’s not just because you’re overweight or underweight or struggling financially, relationally, or however this relates in your life. 

=> you dig. Go deep. ⁣

=> you spend time alone. You ache from lonely⁣.

=> you acknowledge. You heal. ⁣

=> you empower. Yourself & others. ⁣

=> you look in the mirror & see God. ⁣

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I am grateful for this little body & life of mine. It is strong, resilient, & every wrinkle, scar, cellulite, stretch mark — is the mark of life I lived. 

That’s real Queen shit. 

⁣Don’t drink the Hater-aid.

Xoxo

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More life lessons by me

They asked her, “What is real freedom?”

She answered, 

“Freedom is mental clarity combined with inner peace. Freedom is when you can see without projecting and when you can live without causing yourself unnecessary mental tension or stress. It happens every moment you are not craving for more. Happiness and freedom are one.”

@yung_pueblo | A Clear Mind 

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I had an 80 year old patient ask me this past week where I pictured my life in a year. She was telling me about her marriage & life when she was my age.

I told her if she had asked me that question even three months ago I probably would’ve had a completely different answer.

The most beautiful thing about life is that no matter what happened in the past you can always begin again.

You can have a change of heart. You can make mistakes & grow. You can endure the hurt from other beings. You can change your mind. You can forgive. You can change your plans of what you thought life was going to look like. You can choose to embody whatever person you wanna be. YOU choose your definition of happiness, love, & freedom.

I thought I was destined to just forever work my fingers to the bone here in Indy. It is where my roots are planted deep. 🌽 

And yeah, right now I’m puttin in 50hrs minimum a week. Honestly that’s bullsht — I’m workin more like 60 hours a week.

I love my jobs, however. I have purpose & in the end it gives me financial freedom & peace of mind & so much soul food. They are my gifts & I was given these gifts for a reason so I’m gonna use’em.

But I know I don’t wanna do this forever. I’m not really living life.

Anyone else feel like this too?

I am intentionally grindin right now to get where I want to be because I’m not afraid to make sacrifices & work hard to get what I want.

I have goals I’m working towards & an epic life I’m ready to build.

Let the space between where you are, who you are, & where you wanna be & who you wanna be motivate the fck outta your life.

Fill your time with only people & things that matter.

And LOVE.

Love is always the answer❤️

Like my Mama always told me, let your roots run deep but let your heart have wings 🦋

Lashes: @eyelash_extensions_by_vanessa

Lipstick: @maybelline super stay matte ink,

Color-Ruler (Lover is my fav color)

Scrubs: @urbanescrubs

Scrub jacket: @wearfigs

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You can survive too

I have no idea what kind of influence I actually have on people.

I have the tendency to just go about my life, hustlin, trying to be a good human. Tryin to be true to myself, basically spewing my heart & emotions on this thing called the gram. 

It’s been really good for me. Therapeutic. Emotionally cleansing.

Like life, it has a dark side too. It can be very energetically heavy trying to be a light & lending ear to so many.

My tendency to live & do & say things unaware of how it really influences other people has its drawbacks too.

My independence alienates people unintentionally.

I don’t typically do things to be hurtful or malicious but they can come off that way. 

Reason — I’m really shitty at communication. I don’t realize other people can’t read my mind or energy like I can read others.

I’m working on it. 

I’m aware of it now so I don’t have any excuses for myself.

I really don’t know how I’ve affected other people’s decisions, how they feel about themselves, or their perceptions of things.

I do know I want to be the realist, most positive force I can be. I’m grateful y’all allow me to let you know you’re not alone & allow me to put my life, my emotions, my experiences & lessons into words.

Know you can survive anything.

I’ve gotten my heart broken numerous times. I’ve broken hearts too.

I’m currently missing my best friend @_rottier_ like you wouldn’t believe. Japan is not 6 hrs away.

I pulled up my GPS today to take an alternate route to work & it still pulls up his Missouri address first. 

Made me wanna cry & I was instantly pissed off at myself. I don’t like being weak. And I thought, “You ain’t got time for this shit, Katie, pull it together. Talk about whiskey glasses, @morganwallen , I’d like a few right now🥃.”

I’ve failed tests in school, I even got suspended in Xray school. 🤷🏼‍♀️  That authority thing has always been a struggle. 😆 

My worst grade in high school was an 86% in Algebra & I thought my overachieving ass was gonna die.  I obviously didn’t. And that doesn’t mean shit now.

I’ve been rejected from jobs I thought I wanted only for the right ones to come along later. Ive had hard times with family only to laugh about it later. 

I’ve had friends disappoint me, men leave me, hell I’ve abused myself with all the addictions — it was never one thing: disordered eating, over exercising, drinking too much, settling, sabotaging myself, surrounding myself with a hard shell, wishing I could eat like a “normal” person without crohns & special needs.

I did it once, twice, again & again. 

And you can too. ❤️

Love y’all

Xoxo

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It’s not always butterfly’s…

She said, “I feel like I’ve lost the spark in my relationship. I dunno whether to stay, go, change myself or him. Maybe there’s a better one out there.”

I asked her, “Well how do you want to feel in your relationship?” — She didn’t know.

How bout we start there. 

And I’ll ask y’all something my momma asked me recently, “Who do you want beside you on the beach when you’re old?”

I refer back to one of fav quotes, “Fall in love with someone who is both your safe place & your biggest adventure. — Bianca Sparacino

There is nothing about butterfly’s in that quote. And nothing about perfection. 

Because let me tell ya, in 38 years I’ve never once met a perfect man or a perfect ME.

I’ve had a hard time letting people love me. 

I had a bad habit of pushing away healthy, stable love. And if I felt I was going to be hurt, or things got really fucked up & hard, I’d emotionally distance & end things before I could get to that point of being the one that was hurt.

I’ve learned letting someone love you doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re deciding you deserve to be loved.

To the recovering calloused avoidant like myself, it’s hard. It feels icky sometimes & requires a shit ton of courage & vulnerability I can’t even find the words for.

My idea of love has changed as I’ve aged. I used to view it as a noun, now knowing it’s a verb. 

It’s something you choose, & it takes conscious effort & work. It’s not magic fairy dust & an endless buffet of tacos & tequila (but that’s would be nice 😆🖐🏻🌮🍹sign me up btw)

A hard lesson I’ve learned recently is bad timing doesn’t always mean you stop trying.

And things you nitpick may just be your ego talkin. Just because a day, a month, or a year doesn’t seem to align right now, doesn’t mean you set the whole damn thing on fire & watch it burn. 

Maybe you just need slow down, adjust your sails & wait until things are maybe a lil slightly less fucked up. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Jus sayin.

So I’ll be patient & wait…

…for that endless buffet of tacos & tequila

…with a splash of @morganwallen

…and my best friend by my side. ✌🏻🏝 

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto

Xoxo

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Like a Messy Patio…

I sat my plant children out on the patio this morning before CrossFit & work for some sun & fresh air. I feel they’re happier when they get some time out. 

I named them all. This is one of my new ones, her name is Maggie.

It takes some time setting them all out & gets my patio messy. But they’re worth it. They make me happy when I see them when I come home. Like Pete 🐈, he runs to the door when I  get there. Even though he eats all my succulents & opens cabinets & drawers — making a mess. 

Your message is in your mess.

Healing is messy. Life is messy. There’s not a template for it. 

Some hard things I’ve learned are first loves or fierce loves don’t always mean the best loves. Stable, loyal loves are timeless. And sometimes the relationship we need to work on for another is the one with yourself.

Best friends don’t always mean friends forever.

Money is energy & like a relationship too. It deserves to be appreciated, honored, & used for good. It comes & goes like everything else in life.

One thing they all mean no matter what the outcome, however, is someone at sometime — cared. And that’s worth it.

I have good & not so good days. I have days I feel like a rock star & other days I feel like an a$$hat. 

Some days I reminisce on what I could’ve done differently to change the outcomes & other days I feel like I’m living my best life. 

I have moments of heart break — a mistake you made you wish you could change, hearing a song that pours salt in a wound, a scent that brings back a certain place in time, the sight of a picture, the feel of an old sweatshirt or shirt that makes you smile & cry in both appreciation & mourning of a relationship or memory.

Through it all remember that you’re human. And you’re messy. 

Feel the feels. 

Take the time you need to begin again.

And thank God for things you prayed for that you didn’t get. You wouldn’t be the person you are today. 

Fresh lashes: @Eyelash_extensions_by_vanessa

I’d love to hear how y’all are doing🌻👇🏻

Xoxo 

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The Avoidant & Tips to Help Heal

I was asked yesterday by a follower 2 great questions: 1.) What was the best part of my day? & 2.) How I knew I was the #avoidant type & how I was learning to heal myself so I could be a good partner because she was struggling.

Girrrrrrrl sit down 😆🪑 

If only a CT scan could tell me what I needed to do to fix this brain🧠

So…

1.) Best part of my day: getting to FaceTime with @_rottier_  🇺🇸👉🏻🇯🇵 

2.) This is gonna be long. You’ve been warned. But I don’t wanna leave anything out. I’m going to repost these on my blog site (link in bio) so they’re easier to read.

I don’t think it was until this year I realized MY FAULTS in pushing people away that were trying really hard to love me.

I viewed it as being smothered. A breach of my boundaries. I’m an introvert by nature & value my privacy & alone time. 

There were definite differences, but a lot of it was just them wanting to be a part of my life & I was allowing myself to feel overwhelm, detachment, & fear of getting too “close” & having my heart broken. 

I don’t like depending on people or showing weakness.

When I finally started doing the inner work to attract the right kind of partner & life I wanted, I got what I asked for.

However, the Universe has a funny way of testing you to see where you’re weak & still need work.

Things I learned thru therapy:

➡️The avoidant attachment type shows up as independent & self reliant.

➡️They guard themselves when people get close, safety is not found in other people.

➡️They emotionally distance.

➡️Non committal, they feel overwhelmed & uneasy about healthy stable love.

➡️Difficulty trusting others & asking for help.

➡️Think too much & subconsciously sabotage relationships.

➡️Females tend to be more “masculine” in nature (Tom boy, strong independent, “rough around the edges”)

It was suggested to me to trial dating apps to sort thru emotions about a relationship. To help gain clarity on my true wants & needs.

They said if it feels icky or heavy or misaligned — um it is. 😆 And that’s exactly what I felt. Ew. 

I had no desire for the riff raff. Those were quickly disposed & deleted.

List to your gut. It’s never wrong.

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Tips given to me for my avoidant attachment style:⁠⠀

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1. Allow others to do some things you would normally do yourself. Makes me uncomfortable af. But I’m learning it’s okay to rely on people.

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2. Slow down when experiencing overwhelm & stress. If you need a break, communicate it. Don’t hold it in until it becomes resentment.

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3.) Get real with yourself. Feel the feels & note how you want to FEEL in a relationship.

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4. Work on setting boundaries before reaching the point of pushing people away & emotionally distancing.

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5.) Work on identifying & communicating your thoughts & feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry. Learn to be more vulnerable in SAFE relationships.

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6.) Look for the positive qualities in yourself, others & your relationships. Remember that thing about thoughts become things & the grass is greener where you water it?

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7.) If you’re about to become “runaway bride” & wanna run or GTFO — time out. Make a pros & cons list. Consider the potential benefits of staying. Make sure it’s in alignment with you.

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8.) When you’re taking time to yourself, communicate more effectively & show appreciation for the other. Example: “I need space for myself so I can be my best self for you. I appreciate your patience & I care.”

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I feel  the moment you get to the place where you feel at peace & at home with yourself is the moment before the relationship you always wanted shows up in your life.

It can a new one or maybe a new & improved one.

For me the healing of relationships & the world is always the healing of ourselves.

Are you a recovering avoidant like me?

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Life lessons in this day in the life of scrubs & leggins

4am comes early. In the OR by 6:20 this mornin. 

I woke up with such a grateful heart. 

I remember days in my 20s waking up & absolutely dreading going to work & feeling a black heavy cloud over my life.

It was suffocating.

I’ve had a lot of jobs that were just that — jobs.

I really don’t think it was until my 30s that I truly appreciated & deeply loved my profession in radiology.

It took taking a lot of wrong turns to get to that place of gratitude.

Same thing for my love life. 

The handful of serious relationships I’ve had, I’ve learned so much from every single one.

And I do take a piece of every single special person & take them with me in my heart.

Same thing for my jobs.

Today, I got to do one of my most favorite things in the whole world, which I was absolutely terrified of as an X-ray student — surgery. 

I assisted in my first hip scope & labrum repair. Didn’t even know they used a C-arm for that. 😆 I truly appreciate the surgeon asking my name & then making sure he knew my name & thanked me as I exited.

Many times this is not commonplace.

And you’re called Xray or hey you or I’ve even had shit thrown at me, & called stupid in a case.

I’m not kidding some surgeons are just not so nice.

You learn to have really thick skin & not show fear. X-ray school & environments like this definitely do not help self-esteem or self-worth issues. 😂

I used to tell my Xray students don’t let them know you’re scared because they’ll eat you alive. You will be OK & you can do this!

Learn to think quick on your feet. Be nice to everyone in the OR & help out as much as you can within your scope of practice.

To anyone no matter what your role is in surgery knows how intimidating the environment is.

I have told you before I’m like a bull in a China shop, so for me having to have finesse in a sterile environment is not just a matter of me being polished — it is absolutely vital & necessary. It was a skill learned & refined with years of practice.

I remember having talks with myself before I went into the OR saying, “Katie do not fuck shit up. Do not contaminate or touch anything you are not supposed to!”

An entire surgery case can be dependent on one wrong move & if you don’t know what you’re doing the doctor can’t see what he’s doing. 

Scary af right?!

I haven’t touched a C-arm in 3 years. Like riding a bike & it felt so good. 😉

I worked as an x-ray tech for 10 years at Community Anderson & left in 2015 when I moved to Lafayette.

My last 5 years have been the most life-changing & confusing & rewarding seasons all in one.

Points to this day in the life of scrubs & leggins:

1.) Treat everyone with respect no matter what their role, race, gender, whatever. No one is better than anyone else & you never know when you’re going to need someone’s help 

2.) It’s never too late to start over. It’s never too late to refine your craft & your gifts. It’s never too late to follow what you love. 

3.) Learn from your mistakes & all of the paths you take. You were placed there for a reason & you were always exactly where you’re meant to be.

Keep calm & Xray on bishes. 💀🙅🏼‍♀️💕

Till next time 🤘🏻

Xoxo