Self Love & Success Habits

I feel what the world needs right now isn’t another post about losing weight or body fat loss. 

Right now, for most of us, we should be focusing on feeling our best — not shrinking our bodies because we think we’ll be happier taking up less space.

What we really need is S E L F  LOVE

Beautiful design by my fav: @positivelypresent⁠ 💕

Cred: @positivelypresent

Ever wonder where negative talk comes from?

They’re rooted from experiences & traumas you’ve had in your past, often childhood. The more you focus on the familiar past, the more the predictable future repeats itself.

Just because something negative happened to you in the past, maybe someone called you ugly or stupid or pathetic or whatever — doesn’t mean that’s what you are. 

Remember, what people do or say to you comes from how they view themselves &/or the product of their environment. Hurt people hurt people. As we like to say, “Haters gonna hate.”

On the other hand, ⁠if you believe you are unworthy/unloveable you may have biased expectations & reactions when approaching situations with others. 

Thoughts become things. These thoughts contribute to your cycle of black cloud emotions & habits.

To cultivate more self-love you must break the cycle & challenge yourself away from negative thoughts, start enforcing boundaries with yourself & others, practice self-care, and distance yourself from toxicity (environment, people, food, social media, etc).

I talk about how habits make you a lot.

That it’s not exactly about picking the right foods or the right diets or the right workouts or the right macros.

Your habits will directly drive how successful you are in anything & everything you do.

Remember that Marshmallow Experiment done by Stanford professor Walter Mischel?

I had to Google that again actually🤓

Basically it found that children who had more willpower & delayed eating the marshmallow to receive a bigger treat later on were more successful in many areas of their lives than the children who couldn’t resist & chose temporary pleasure over long-term gain.

This experiment relates to our routine habit choices. We can choose habits that will serve us more later or ones that will not. 

When working with clients one of the first things we work on is self & food awareness. Which includes creating healthier habits. 

These can be as simple as eating more protein with each meal or reducing drinking from three days a week to one. 

Change your habits, change your thoughts — change you. 

Make them better ones. 💕 

Carnivore-ish: Why I Choose Animal-Based Nutrition

I’ve tried every diet in the book…

I’ve talked about it openly through the years via my Instagram.

For yrs my reason for diving into these fad diets were focused around self loathing, lack of education & wanting to shrink my life away.

I’m grateful, however, bc I learned how my body responded to different foods, different quantities, my energy level during training, my crohn’s & digestion, recovery, & realistic sustainability.

I don’t believe in any perfect way of eating — only the perfect way of eating for you. So I don’t bash anyone who hates meat or prefers a certain way of living. 

💁🏼‍♀️Golden rule: basically don’t be a dick.

I simply want to educate you on my journey & why I utilize specific methods.

Currently I’m going through a reset diet. I found with my high carb approach I was feeling inflamed, blood sugar consistently high, digestion off, hungry more often than I should’ve, energy was all over the place, & I was having to eat an asinine amt of food to feel full to keep from wanting to binge during my cut.

Obv life has been pretty crazy for everyone recently so stress levels high. I felt I needed to hit the redo button.

Why I choose a diet based on animal foods👇⁠

✅Majority of my calories are from the most nutrient-dense bioavailable foods⁠

✅I LOVE & thrive off meat with no digestion issues #farmersdaughter yo 🐮❤️ BM’s have been normal! Maybe TMI but for those of us who struggle with gut stuff — shit matters — literally 💩 😂

✅Minimal fiber, meaning everything is easy to digest⁠. I’ve talked before about my special needs — I don’t digest vegetables very well at all. Gritty, tough textures like skins, nuts & seeds, gluten, dairy, high FODMAP foods are a no no FOR ME.

✅Low to no sugar, or highly palatable processed carb based foods. I found these are my biggest triggers when it comes to binging or basically eating like an asshole.  

Cereals, cakes/donuts/cookies/chips. I told you I’m an all or nothing person — I’m not a moderator. I can’t have any of that stuff in my house bc I know if I have it here, I have a higher probability to binge. KNOW THY SELF!

✅Natural fats & plenty of protein. I’m fuller longer, I don’t have energy crashes, I can eat 1 to 2 large meals & be happy all day & not have to worry about having a bunch of meal preps. 

I work in healthcare — I don’t have a lot of time to fuggn worry about 100 perfectly measured out meal preps. I like to live life simple, this takes the guessing out. It was driving me nuts. 

✅My body is more recovered, less inflamed. I do have to take it easy with higher intensity work like CrossFit. Yes, I love it but trying to do a 30 minute metcon on no carbs — let’s be real people, you’re gonna have to change your training. 

Don’t be a dumbass & try to do Orange Theory & CrossFit on zero carbs thinking you’re going to perform like a games athlete. It’s not gonna happen. These are highly glycolytic sports & the most efficient fuel for these will be carbs. They’re not your enemy. 

I modify my #carnivorish diet to my preferences. There is room for leniency, you are in charge of what you put in your mouth. If there is a food not animal based, that doesn’t trigger symptoms for you, don’t feel pressured to avoid it.⁠

Some I include in my diet are:⁠

💟 nut butters (pb @sunbutter & coconut)

💟 eggs & egg whites & spray butter (vice)

💟 @strongcoffeecompany & coffee

💟 water flavoring (dudes I hate water, whatevs, pick your poison)

💟 @zevia & occasional alcohol

💟 Plant based protein powder 

⁠💟Jasmine Rice or Rice Chex around training

I loosely track & eat till I’m satisfied. I still eat mainly animal foods, but this is what works for me. I don’t beat myself up if I want nachos. I make them fit. They’re still my #bae 

Quarantine & Finding “The One”

I’m really tired of hearing about this quarantine.

I feel the reason people are having a hard time is because they’re forced to sit with their feelings, thoughts, & forced to manage their relationships with one another.

AND examine the one they have with themselves.

I listened to a podcast I shared this morning on my Instagram stories about relationships. Lewis Howes & Ester Perel – phenomenal!

“You learn to love yourself in the context of relationships with others.”

-Ester Perel

I am one who’s love life with herself & others were a complete shit show until I started working on myself. My personal, emotional, & professional life struggled.

I had one failed relationship after another. I wandered around aimlessly from one job to another, not really knowing my place or purpose. Not really understanding why I like juggling so many different things and interests. I felt like there was something wrong with me – UNTIL I researched more about how I was wired, why, who I wanted to be, how I wanted to feel, what kind of partner made me FEEL the way I wanted to in a relationship, and what values & pillars were important to me in life.

Only then did my life start turning around and getting much clearer.

I researched Human Design, my astrology, started following accounts that made me feel good, and started doing the inner work with Lacy Phillips.

Call me woo-woo, call it BS, I DGAF. I respect everyone’s opinions on matters of spirituality & the Universe. All I know is my life is much clearer & #abundantAF

Go your own way 😉

Anywhoodle, back to the main question at hand…

I had a DM today & she asked me how I knew I was with the right person because she was unsure she was in the right relationship. That this quarantine was leaving her questioning things.

I asked her, “Are you looking for a LOVE story? Or a LIFE story?”

She asked what that meant & I explained via life thru my lens & things I learned from Ester— I was always searching for a LOVE story, the knight in shining armor, the perfect relationship, the fantasy — LOVE story. LOVE stories are not LIFE stories. They share different ingredients.

When you’re looking for the right person it’s not about what you’re attracted to it’s about who can you build a LIFE story with.

Things that are important to have in common with your partner:

–Your relationship with others. Do they like community or do they like spending time alone? How do they treat their family? How do they treat other people? Were you/they raised for autonomy or were you/they raised for loyalty & working together as a team? Children?

–Emotional availability & compatibility. Love languages, understanding of these. Outlook & attitude on life.

–Understanding the conditioning of their environment before judging. Why do they do/think/act the way they do? It’s a product of how they were raised in the environment they live in. Can you live with this & evolve together?

“What about expectations?” she asked.

The moment you have an expectation you create dependence. That dependence means you or they have power.

You create a condition that can be broken resulting in disappointment. Have you communicated this expectation with them?

The answer is what do you do with that power?

How do you use it? How do they respond to it?

Do you/they get defensive or do you/they try to understand & ask questions. That’s how you deal with struggles. You repair via communication & healing.

If communication & trust aren’t there, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in — it will never thrive!

Show the other they still matter.

Get them their favorite book, drink, give them a hug, LISTEN, let them speak, give them their space.

Self-awareness, trust, appreciation, & accountability are true freedom & home.

Successful, thriving relationships have a high degree of appreciation.

Negative, failing relationships highlight the negative.

This not only applies at home this also applies out in society & with yourself.

If someone asked me what are 3 pieces of advice to keep in your front pocket today they would be:

1.) The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life.

A.k.a. make sure you have a rich life.

Don’t be a dick, follow the Golden rule.

2.) Invest in your relationships

No one has ever died hoping they had worked more.

Make it your purpose that when people think of you they smile. That’s your legacy you leave in the hearts & minds of others.

3.) If you have a dream, a person, a ping that has been in your heart & your mind — do it, follow it.

There are no failures only experiences.

Blessings & love to y’all <3

— Xoxo Coach K

The New Chapter Begins

A lil bit wolf, a lil bit woman — it’s the wild that made her beautiful. @lil_bit_of_fit

She finally started to love the pieces of herself she used to hide & run from.

The scars, the imperfections, the things that made her different — like her Indiana twang, the way a strategically placed cuss word just rolls off her tongue a little bit sweeter, & the way she loves selflessly without abandon.

The scars physical & mental.

The ones on her shin missing a box jump.

The ones on her chest from falling off a tractor in childhood.

The ones from having her gallbladder removed, cervical cancer, Crohn’s, umpteendozen farm injuries.

The ones on her heart from self loathing, disordered eating, overtraining, periods of debt, failed relationships, food fear, fear of failure, fear of fucking up societal timelines & wondering if she’ll ever have her shit figured out.

Livin life somewhere among boots, scrubs, & lessons…

She stared at her picture & out the window, always something on her mind, & finally felt the peace & acceptance of her past, present, & future, all the knowns & unknowns, & realized the experiences & pieces that made her beautiful…

…a lil bit wolf, a lil bit woman — it’s the wild that made her beautiful. – @lil_bit_of_fit

And with that…I finally got my shit together this morning & launched my website, my little writing space to hopefully add value, laughs, mentoring, coaching, & shine some light in this world.

It’s official — lilbitoffit.com

Working on a blog for y’all later, stay tuned: 10 HABITS HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY.

xoxo -Coach K

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto

Lashes: @kyra_coleman2488 @thelashloungefishersdt

Wardrobe: @tjmaxx

Hair: @skoontz1

Makeup: @sweatcosmetics @elfcosmetics

Lip: @maybelline superstay matte ink