Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
A client got pissed at me yesterday. I said, “Good, then I’m doin my job.”
I had several conversations yesterday via dm with people letting their mindsets & emotional heaviness get the best of them.
On repeat: You attract what you put out. You cannot become what you want by remaining where you are.
You gotta shift your mindset. Mindset is part of the work.
This particular client, flat refuses to eat more food yet wants to gain muscle & heal. And I get it, it’s a mindfxck.
And I don’t care what goal y’all are chasin in whatever facet of life — DON’T BE UPSET ABOUT THE RESULTS YOU AREN’T GETTING FROM THE WORK YOU DIDN’T DO.
4 things I live by…& letting my weight or my Crohn’s or excuses control me — NOT any of those 3 things…
1.) Be mentally attractive, kind, & be worth knowing. You attract what you put out.
2.) Thou shall not judge because thou has fxcked up too.
3.) You either DO or you DON’T.
4.) 2 things I don’t like to share, toothbrushes & wieners.
💁🏼♀️Slap that last one on a T-shirt.
January 2021 I picked my word. Actually I picked 2: JOY & SURRENDER.
NO.1 REGRET OF THE DYING: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
I had a terminal patient tell me this years back as I finished their CT scan.
@aubreymarcus posted a powerful reminder yesterday, a perfect reminder as we start another week:
“Your future self will look back on your life right now, & wish you could live it again. Not because you want to DO anything different. But because you wish you enjoyed it more.
The number 1 deathbed regret is, “I wish I would’ve let myself be happier.” At the end of our life we realize that happiness is a choice, made in the moment, in spite of whatever is happening.”
☝🏻If I could share only 1 life lesson with you, it would be this.
MANAGE YOUR MIND AND YOU CAN MANAGE ANYTHING.
We get lost in a storm of emotions & expectations — from others, from ourselves, from society.
Emotions around your body, career, & relationships. Some like:
BODY: I need to look like her/him to be more attractive & worthy. When in fact you need to love yourself & body for everything you are, not what you aren’t.
CAREER: I’m not “rich” or successful until I have x in the bank or achieved a certain status. When in fact you’re already rich if you have a career you love, a roof over your head, food to eat, & people who love you.
RELATIONSHIPS: I need a partner to be worthy. Which typically nudges us to settle for people not deserving, or seeking people for purely physical reasons. We blind ourselves to the real secret to finding a partner in life…being self aware, knowing your worth & theirs, learning to build a home in yourself 1st, & embodying the person you seek to be with. The ‘right’ one feels like freedom & home.❤️⠀
There will always be shxt that comes up & temporarily throws your life out of your control, but you choose your perspective & reaction.
When you’re working, work.
When you’re eating, eat.
When you’re listening, listen.
When you’re loving, LOVE.
We’re always living. But the question is, are you living YOUR best life?
As the sun sets in Steve Job’s Life, he gave the world one last gift. “The World’s six best Doctors” – by Steve Jobs.
As I walked in the sun yesterday, enjoying the warmth on my face, I reread this essay. I let the words that resonated with me sink in….
ox Enjoy!
This is his final essay:
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In some others’ eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, my wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone bear your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found or replaced. But there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost – Life.
Whichever stage in life you are in right now, with time, you will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.
Treat yourself well and cherish others.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down – you go down with it.
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, that is true happiness!
Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price.
Eat your food as your medicine, otherwise you have to eat medicine as your food.
The One who loves you will never leave you for another because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find a reason to hold on.
There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.
You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage!
The six best doctors in the world are – sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence and friends.
Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy life!!
She told me I really have no idea my purpose or where I fit in.
To anyone who has struggled with this question, I feel your emotions to my core.
Some of my painful realizations that may help you too:
👉🏻I love entrepreneurship but I’m a really shxtty number 1 person when it comes to running a business. I’m a GREAT connection maker & number 2!
Learned this coaching nutrition full time at one point & managing a sales territory for an online meal prep company.
I have gifts I’m naturally good at. Im a responder by nature, not an initiator. Great idea thinker. I’m phenomenal at reading people & the energy in a room — which makes me good at connecting with emotions.
I loathe being ‘salesy’ & feeling like I HAVE to make sales for my livelihood. I lose the love for it and build resentment.
The thought of cold calls make me CRINGE. I also HATE luke warm small talk. Give me a hot lead, give me something to respond to & I’ll close the deal 99% of the time.
Taking on a high volume of clients takes a huge toll on my energy. I had to learn to scale & balance my loves of healthcare & coaching to create a positive, abundant, & safe environment to cultivate a lifestyle I loved without losing my shxt.
I felt ashamed & embarrassed to own this for years. Felt it made me a “failure”
I enjoy working as a team & for other people. I need direction but enough freedom to not feel caged in. That’s the sweet spot where I thrive.
It hurts. It’s painful to go through these experiences, but let me remind you the roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important people & places you’re meant to be.
My 1st job ever was working on my family farm.
2nd was working as an animal science lab assistant at Purdue.
3rd was a vet tech.
4th was a well-paying job with a
pharmaceutical company.
—I hated it.
I made the decision my happiness was worth more than a paycheck.
Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I met my 2nd love — healthcare. My 1st will always & forever be agriculture.
Guess what?
Still dunno wtf I’m doin or where I’m goin. One thing is for dxmn sure my life is never boring😂
It’s OK to not know.
It’s NOT OK to settle for mediocrity.
Don’t be afraid to take risks & take the path less traveled.
One change that will massively impact every facet of your life — find your magic time.
Everyone has a time a day where they are 10x more effective at the GSD than the rest of the day. FIND IT.
Most successful people have a refined early morning routine, habits, & thus, successful SYSTEM that ensures optimization.
Every day is a new day to make a different decision. No regrets. Learn from past decisions & choose to not stay there.
The past doesn’t need you & the future hasn’t happened yet, it hinges on your present 🎁
“You are where you are because of your choices. There is nothing to gain by regretting. Review your decisions for lessons and make a new decision to change.” @realcraigballantyne
Heart wrenching conversation with a client yesterday I’m certain all of us have encountered & then realized how interconnected emotions & outcomes are.
She told me, she knows he doesn’t love her for her, but she keeps holding on which is affecting her weight & basically everything else in her life.
So I started off with this: Our job on this earth is not to have to sell or transform ourselves to earn someone’s love. It’s just to simply be loved for exactly who we are & we are to do the same.
Relationships & your worth are determined by your own definition, not society’s definition or timelines you think you need to be living.
I’ve said this before, I fully stand by it, people can choose to evolve with you or without you in any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic.
The people you surround yourself with, make you. They are a reflection of your values & integrity.
It’s OK to grow out of relationships. It’s OK if those people choose to part. It takes a BIG, evolved person to lovingly release someone you care deeply for.
You can’t build a relationship with a person you love for who you want them to be.
Honor your individuality.
Don’t be afraid to take chances on experiences if they feel right, don’t hoard shame if they didn’t work out the way you thought.
Be proud of yourself for choosing love, especially love for yourself. It’s the only relationship you’re going to have forever. If you’re not happy, you’re not going to make anyone else happy. The negative energy you put out if you don’t feel aligned will only further grow & bring more negative.
It’s pretty simple really. Give love away like there are no conditions attached, and this goes for letting it go too. By doing this we enable the alignment & flow that is supposed to happen in this life experience.
You can begin creating the life, body, & love you desire right now, even if you don’t have the pieces in place you think you need in order to start.
All it takes is acceptance, intention, effort, & LOVE.
I still shower with a shower cap. Not washing my hair is a sport I have mastered.
Pete can attest.
He sits on the side of the tub in between my shower curtains. Can’t get a moment alone I tell ya. Moms, ya feel me?! 🤚
One my favorite pics of Pete. RBF on fleek. Fun fact: I rescued Pete from Pet Smart over 2 years ago when I got my new apartment. I bought a bottle of Crown Royal & a cat, it was Valentines Day. LOL!
I’m not afraid to admit, however, there’s a lot of things I have not mastered.
“So what’s your 5 year plan?” Me — instant anxiety.
To be quite honest I can’t even tell you what I’m doing next weekend.
I mean, I can give you a generalization but I know as an emotional human being my wants & needs are going to change.
I’m a manifesting generator energy type ( human design ), it is what it is. I’ve learned to design my life around it, figured out how I’m wired, & I have manifested so much more abundance into my life since doing so.
I understand most of you, unless you fly your “woo flag” like me, have no idea what Human Design is or what that means — Google it. Links above! You’ll thank me later.
I had a phenomenal question by an instagram follower yesterday, which served as the inspiration behind this blog. I felt it was something everyone could use in their life.
I’ll summarize, she asked, “How do I effectively communicate to get what I want?”
I asked myself on numerous occasions over the years how in the hxll some people get whatever they want?
Let me paint a picture what my life used to be before halfway figuring this shxt out…
I too have been that human who: – was living in the cheapest apartment in Anderson, IN & had to listen to the people downstairs physically beating each other & arguing every night – was going through a divorce feeling like failure & confused about identity – had my car repoed, $40,000+ in debt, $5 to my name, basically living out of my office & car, eating at hotels to save money on food – was sick, struggling with Crohns, disordered eating & orthorexia feeling powerless & ugly – was comparing wanting to be someone else, coveting their life &/or body thinking that would make me successful & happy – was thinking being single meant there was something wrong with me & I needed to settle & find a partner fast to actually be worthy instead of realizing I needed to work on myself & be the person I wanted to be with first – was getting involved in relationships, jobs, social plans when I felt resistance & ignoring my intuition, excessive drinking, overspending, giving my body to people who didn’t deserve it
So what did I do?
I knew I had to learn, hustle, believe in myself, be relentless in the pursuit of betterment, be resilient, & learn how to communicate with people to get what I want.
I made a list of the things I would need to do & the person I would need to embody to achieve these things. Areas: Health, Wealth, Self, & Relationships. These are my life pillars.
⁃ The BODY(Health) — healing, health, rest, eating ENOUGH, working out because I love my body, vibrancy, food & body freedom, self love
⁃ The CAREER(Wealth) — freedom, loving what I do, making an impact, following purpose not a paycheck
⁃ The RELATIONSHIP (Relationships) — doing the inner work, believing in myself worth, getting rid of preconditions I learned over time, self awareness of my shadows and triggers, being the person I would want to be with
⁃ The MINDSET (Self) — telling myself I’m a survivor, a thriver, I lead with my heart & I deserve everything I desire so I can serve others & myself to the highest degree. I deserve QUALITY and refuse to discount myself any longer.
Steps to get anything you want:
1.) You have to make a decision & get clarity on what you want (even if you don’t know how to get it). Find out what kind of manifestor you are. Here’s a great article on Specific vs Non Specific Manifestors. If you’re a specific manifestor, use detailed decisive statements like, “I want a partner by my 30th birthday” or “I want to lose 20lbs in 3 months.”
If you’re a non specific manifestor, like me, we prefer open generalities about how we want to FEEL. My favorite affirmation, “I accept and am open to receive whatever is meant for my highest alignment or better.”
2.) Detach from the “How” & desired outcome. Not knowing how something will come to fruition holds a lot of people back. Two things: divine timing & the Universe always has your back. Throw worry out the window. You have to take emotion out of it & be grateful no matter what happens.
3.) Visualize and BELIEVE in the desired outcome. Focus on how you feel with that thing you want. It’s like how athletes visualize perfect performance that leads to a win.
4.) Gratitude. Do you you look at your struggles as opportunities to grow or road blocks holding you back? When you practice being grateful for everything in your life no matter how small, you’re ability to manifest & get you want accelerates. Getting what we want from others comes down to two things, awareness & communication. Being a good communicator opens the doors to so much abundance & opportunity in your life. It’s applicable in every facet of your life. Whether you’re a: ️- Mom or dad raising children – Entrepreneur growing a venture – Businessman or woman trying to make a sale – Coach working with athletes or clients – Boss or coworker or part of a team, community, or organization Awareness is being aware of the emotions, energy, & humanness of people & yourself. Communication is being a good conversationalist & making someone feel seen, heard, understood, supported, & significant. We live in a world of instant gratification, texts, swipes, & sliding into those DM’s. Having a meaningful conversation & connecting with a person is truly an art. I made an IG tv video on this very subject a few years ago. Check it out here on the gram!
Click image for link to full video on Instagram
I talk about being a good question asker, the difference between a shift & support response, & being an empath vs empathetic. If you learn how to understand & communicate with people (including yourself), you will learn how to get that easy button a lot quicker & get what you (and they) want!
5 AM on a Sunday. No make up, no hair extensions, just takin an easy walk before work because it makes me feel good.
I’ve taken two rest days this weekend, much needed. This was also my weekend to work, perfect timing.
I’d be lying to say that I actually like to take rest days. I don’t. I thoroughly enjoy getting in a challenging work out.
Like I preach before sometimes you gotta do the things that you don’t wanna do because that’s what you really need not what you want.
Just wanted to share with you guys some changes & goals I’ve set for this new year. They’re commitments I’m keeping to myself.
For example, in the past, if I couldn’t go to the gym & get in a hard work out, I’d be pissed & just wouldn’t work out at all. Basically I’d pout.
I know walking makes me happy so now I commit to do just that — walk. Today I walked a mile, nice & easy, & watched Sex & the City reruns. It’s one of those shows I never get sick of — like Grey’s Anatomy & One Tree Hill.
Anyone else love those shows?
2021 Commitments to Myself:
— Live a life of minimalism. Purge all old & unnecessary things. I feel free the less material items I have. Keep only what I love. Anything that conjures up a negative memory or old energy I get rid of.
— If I buy something new, I get rid of something. Every single day I get rid of at least 1 item & put it in this huge basket that sits in my hallway. I call it the Giving Basket. (I named him Greg btw. I name all my favorite items & plants. I believe everything has energy, spirit, & presence.) I donate these items to others in need.
— I will not buy things on the clearance rack because I feel I’m not worthy of a more valuable item. This is me honoring my worth. If I really want something I will INVEST & believe it will bring positive energy & abundance into my life. Money is just energy. You have to learn to love it & have a beautiful relationship with it just like any other. It deserves respect, money is freedom. That means saving wisely as well.
— Unsubscribe from emails & unnecessary expenses that don’t bring value to my life. This means unsubscribing from toxicity in life too — Friends, habits, social media, etc. It’s just clutter.
— Save at least $100 every 2 weeks for an emergency fund. This go straight into my savings. Pay off all unnecessary debt ✅. Not utilize credit cards unless I can pay them off in full.
— Build my wealth, not just in a monetary context, but all the riches of life & love, & give freely. Make someone smile every single day. Give compliments. Tip well. Gratitude every morning & anytime I feel worry or a negative thought, replace & state something I’m grateful for.
— BE SOMEBODY WHO MAKES EVERYONE FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY
