Tag: Love Blog

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Have you ever met a woman who takes her time?

A women who takes her time lilbitoffit katie kelly fishers indiana haybale sunrise

Had a DM today from a frustrated woman who stated she felt she was always “Behind with everything.” Relationships, love, her body, financial situation, for examples.

I’ve felt this way more times in my life than I’d like to admit. How bout y’all?

A women who takes her time lilbitoffit katie kelly fishers indiana

I’m 40, childless, divorced (twice), & for humor’s sake, my cat, Pete, is the longest successful relationship with a male I’ve had. LOL!

My life is incredibly rich in love, laughter, joy, & wealth, however. It’s about gratitude & perspective. My wealth is found in experiences, honoring myself, & being a human that makes somebody feel like somebody.

She cried, “I should be further along.”

Seriously, what does that even mean anymore? Like wth is even “normal” anymore?

And who cares?!

I replied, Honey, take your time. I paused, smiled, & sent her these beautiful words from a post that changed my life years ago.

I hope they resonate with you in the beautiful way that you need, too.

A woman who takes her time quote katie kelly lilbitoffit fishers indiana
Feel free to share with someone who needs to hear this too!

Have You Ever Met A Woman Who Takes Her Time?⁣

A woman who takes her time moves slow. She knows what she is worth. She values herself enough that she doesn’t need to hook you quickly with her shiny carnal lures.⁣

⁣She takes the time to see you.  She waits patiently as you take off your armor. She knows the sadness hidden beneath your smile. She knows the hurt you hold inside. She isn’t in a hurry to pull it out of you. She knows that her purpose is not to heal you, but to teach you how to heal yourself.⁣

⁣A woman who takes her time does not believe in Love at first sight. Not the Love she is interested in. Because she remembers how long it took to love herself. She knows that is how her Love will grow with you. Slowly. Gradually. With forgiveness. Patience. Compassion for all your greed, all your lusts, all your competitiveness.  Even your possessiveness.⁣

⁣But a woman who takes her time will not let you keep her as your pet. She has taken the time to know who she is in truth. She knows she cannot be owned. She is a wild wolf. Made of shark teeth, hummingbird feathers, and the first drop of dew on the morning rose.⁣

⁣If you have the courage to be with a woman who takes her time, there is nothing that you can keep hidden. No secrets will be kept safe. You will be naked, vulnerable, exposed. You will see yourself for who you truly are. All your shadow, all your glory. You will be forced to see Her for who she truly is. When there is nothing left to hide, then and only then will you be able to decide…If you are meant to slow dance with the woman who takes her time.⁣ @aubreymarcus ❤️

#SundayChurch #selfloveisthebestlove

Oxox Coach K

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bio carnivore lilbitoffit katie kelly indiana fishers
Hailing from Fishers, Indiana, Katie is an aficionado of health, mindset, human connection, & entrepreneurship. Writer, speaker, doer of many things, she grew up on her family’s beef cattle & crop farm where agriculture was her first love. She is a Purdue University graduate well known for her storytelling of life lessons & personal transformation through her own relationships, Crohn’s Disease, disordered eating, CrossFit, & adapting a carnivore diet lifestyle. Katie also has over 16 years experience as a Registered Radiologic Technologist, Nutritionist, & Sales Consultant. You can catch her via Instagram @lil_bit_of_fit & blog, Lilbitoffit.com
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I’m single, broke, and miserable

love girl blog header

As one who has made all the wrong decisions before making the right ones, one thing in life I am most grateful are all the things I’ve done wrong that didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped because they taught me how to do things right & how to roll with life.

I made all the wrong decisions with my health, relationships, & finances.

Had a message from a gal this mornin, she stated she was single, broke, & miserable. I felt her anguish, & I’m here to tell you you define your reality. It is what YOU make it.

Sometimes it takes a heart break &/or us f*cking up in business/health/relationships to shake us awake & help us see we are so much more than what we’re settling for.

I refuse to live a life of mediocracy. I decided this yrs ago, 2018 to be exact, when I was living out of my office, showering at gyms, going thru a heartbreak, barely had enough money to purchase groceries, & no idea what the f*ck I was doing or where I was going.
I just knew I was meant for more.

Things still aren’t perfect but I am so grateful for what I have, hopeful & excited for what’s ahead. I am ruthlessly resilient & diligent. Mental fortitude, getcha some.
Ain’t nobody gonna save you or cut you a check but YOU.

I responded to this gal, “There’s always something to be grateful for & if you’re not living life happy, you’re doing it all wrong. But that’s OK because along the way you’ll figure out what to do right.”

She said she couldn’t find anyone she was compatible, no one checked the boxes.🤔

Y’all, everyone will tell you to find someone with the same interests as yours, same values, yada yada…like it’s a parameter instead of a goal that can develop. And none of us are easy to be with, let’s be honest. You shouldn’t be trying to change anyone else in the process either. Let people be. And don’t accept any less yourself.

Don’t settle for ambiguous texts. Stop idolizing men or women that don’t also put you on a pedestal & do for you. If you’re wanting to up level & be a high value person, stop dating beneath your standards because you’re lonely.

Don’t settle for scraps when you deserve that whole piece of prime rib, baby🥩

Yes, you have to have some common ground. But come on, how many failed relationships have you had that started out with this criteria of checking boxes & looking for compatibility?

I’m embarrassed to say how many I’ve had 👀

They fail overtime because you don’t leave room to learn from each other, you don’t go into a relationship open minded & realize you’re both going to change as people & you have to learn how to evolve & grow together or you’re better off growing apart.

That doesn’t mean you have to hate each other. That means you have to love the other person enough AND yourself enough to know the difference.
Lovingly let people go. That’s you loving yourself. And if you can’t do that you have a lot of inner work & baggage to unpack.

My perspective has changed, I view compatibility as loves achievement – not criteria that has to be met prior to trying to get to know someone.

Imagine creating & transforming a life with the right person. The one you chose to be your favorite.

“Your favorite” should not only be the one who makes you happy but they should be the one who pisses you off, who challenges you, who loves you for all your weirdness, who tells you what you don’t want to hear but need to hear, & continues to choose you every day.

Live life happy.
Compatibility is loves achievement.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

As for me, I have no interest in settling. I read a quote that said, “Settling is what sediment does when it falls to the bottom of a sea or lake, right before it compresses for several million years & turns in to a fossil.”

I’d rather be a fine wine🍷, expensive glass of bourbon 🥃, & some Waygu beef 🥩 than a fossil.

Drop the mic 🎤

Oxox Coach K

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It’s not always butterfly’s…

She said, “I feel like I’ve lost the spark in my relationship. I dunno whether to stay, go, change myself or him. Maybe there’s a better one out there.”

I asked her, “Well how do you want to feel in your relationship?” — She didn’t know.

How bout we start there. 

And I’ll ask y’all something my momma asked me recently, “Who do you want beside you on the beach when you’re old?”

I refer back to one of fav quotes, “Fall in love with someone who is both your safe place & your biggest adventure. — Bianca Sparacino

There is nothing about butterfly’s in that quote. And nothing about perfection. 

Because let me tell ya, in 38 years I’ve never once met a perfect man or a perfect ME.

I’ve had a hard time letting people love me. 

I had a bad habit of pushing away healthy, stable love. And if I felt I was going to be hurt, or things got really fucked up & hard, I’d emotionally distance & end things before I could get to that point of being the one that was hurt.

I’ve learned letting someone love you doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re deciding you deserve to be loved.

To the recovering calloused avoidant like myself, it’s hard. It feels icky sometimes & requires a shit ton of courage & vulnerability I can’t even find the words for.

My idea of love has changed as I’ve aged. I used to view it as a noun, now knowing it’s a verb. 

It’s something you choose, & it takes conscious effort & work. It’s not magic fairy dust & an endless buffet of tacos & tequila (but that’s would be nice 😆🖐🏻🌮🍹sign me up btw)

A hard lesson I’ve learned recently is bad timing doesn’t always mean you stop trying.

And things you nitpick may just be your ego talkin. Just because a day, a month, or a year doesn’t seem to align right now, doesn’t mean you set the whole damn thing on fire & watch it burn. 

Maybe you just need slow down, adjust your sails & wait until things are maybe a lil slightly less fucked up. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Jus sayin.

So I’ll be patient & wait…

…for that endless buffet of tacos & tequila

…with a splash of @morganwallen

…and my best friend by my side. ✌🏻🏝 

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto

Xoxo

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Quarantine & Finding “The One”

I’m really tired of hearing about this quarantine.

I feel the reason people are having a hard time is because they’re forced to sit with their feelings, thoughts, & forced to manage their relationships with one another.

AND examine the one they have with themselves.

I listened to a podcast I shared this morning on my Instagram stories about relationships. Lewis Howes & Ester Perel – phenomenal!

“You learn to love yourself in the context of relationships with others.”

-Ester Perel

I am one who’s love life with herself & others were a complete shit show until I started working on myself. My personal, emotional, & professional life struggled.

I had one failed relationship after another. I wandered around aimlessly from one job to another, not really knowing my place or purpose. Not really understanding why I like juggling so many different things and interests. I felt like there was something wrong with me – UNTIL I researched more about how I was wired, why, who I wanted to be, how I wanted to feel, what kind of partner made me FEEL the way I wanted to in a relationship, and what values & pillars were important to me in life.

Only then did my life start turning around and getting much clearer.

I researched Human Design, my astrology, started following accounts that made me feel good, and started doing the inner work with Lacy Phillips.

Call me woo-woo, call it BS, I DGAF. I respect everyone’s opinions on matters of spirituality & the Universe. All I know is my life is much clearer & #abundantAF

Go your own way 😉

Anywhoodle, back to the main question at hand…

I had a DM today & she asked me how I knew I was with the right person because she was unsure she was in the right relationship. That this quarantine was leaving her questioning things.

I asked her, “Are you looking for a LOVE story? Or a LIFE story?”

She asked what that meant & I explained via life thru my lens & things I learned from Ester— I was always searching for a LOVE story, the knight in shining armor, the perfect relationship, the fantasy — LOVE story. LOVE stories are not LIFE stories. They share different ingredients.

When you’re looking for the right person it’s not about what you’re attracted to it’s about who can you build a LIFE story with.

Things that are important to have in common with your partner:

–Your relationship with others. Do they like community or do they like spending time alone? How do they treat their family? How do they treat other people? Were you/they raised for autonomy or were you/they raised for loyalty & working together as a team? Children?

–Emotional availability & compatibility. Love languages, understanding of these. Outlook & attitude on life.

–Understanding the conditioning of their environment before judging. Why do they do/think/act the way they do? It’s a product of how they were raised in the environment they live in. Can you live with this & evolve together?

“What about expectations?” she asked.

The moment you have an expectation you create dependence. That dependence means you or they have power.

You create a condition that can be broken resulting in disappointment. Have you communicated this expectation with them?

The answer is what do you do with that power?

How do you use it? How do they respond to it?

Do you/they get defensive or do you/they try to understand & ask questions. That’s how you deal with struggles. You repair via communication & healing.

If communication & trust aren’t there, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in — it will never thrive!

Show the other they still matter.

Get them their favorite book, drink, give them a hug, LISTEN, let them speak, give them their space.

Self-awareness, trust, appreciation, & accountability are true freedom & home.

Successful, thriving relationships have a high degree of appreciation.

Negative, failing relationships highlight the negative.

This not only applies at home this also applies out in society & with yourself.

If someone asked me what are 3 pieces of advice to keep in your front pocket today they would be:

1.) The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life.

A.k.a. make sure you have a rich life.

Don’t be a dick, follow the Golden rule.

2.) Invest in your relationships

No one has ever died hoping they had worked more.

Make it your purpose that when people think of you they smile. That’s your legacy you leave in the hearts & minds of others.

3.) If you have a dream, a person, a ping that has been in your heart & your mind — do it, follow it.

There are no failures only experiences.

Blessings & love to y’all <3

— Xoxo Coach K

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The New Chapter Begins

A lil bit wolf, a lil bit woman — it’s the wild that made her beautiful. @lil_bit_of_fit

She finally started to love the pieces of herself she used to hide & run from.

The scars, the imperfections, the things that made her different — like her Indiana twang, the way a strategically placed cuss word just rolls off her tongue a little bit sweeter, & the way she loves selflessly without abandon.

The scars physical & mental.

The ones on her shin missing a box jump.

The ones on her chest from falling off a tractor in childhood.

The ones from having her gallbladder removed, cervical cancer, Crohn’s, umpteendozen farm injuries.

The ones on her heart from self loathing, disordered eating, overtraining, periods of debt, failed relationships, food fear, fear of failure, fear of fucking up societal timelines & wondering if she’ll ever have her shit figured out.

Livin life somewhere among boots, scrubs, & lessons…

She stared at her picture & out the window, always something on her mind, & finally felt the peace & acceptance of her past, present, & future, all the knowns & unknowns, & realized the experiences & pieces that made her beautiful…

…a lil bit wolf, a lil bit woman — it’s the wild that made her beautiful. – @lil_bit_of_fit

And with that…I finally got my shit together this morning & launched my website, my little writing space to hopefully add value, laughs, mentoring, coaching, & shine some light in this world.

It’s official — lilbitoffit.com

Working on a blog for y’all later, stay tuned: 10 HABITS HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY.

xoxo -Coach K

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto

Lashes: @kyra_coleman2488 @thelashloungefishersdt

Wardrobe: @tjmaxx

Hair: @skoontz1

Makeup: @sweatcosmetics @elfcosmetics

Lip: @maybelline superstay matte ink