relationship goals – Page 2

June 23, 2022June 23, 2022

50 Shades of Addictions and What I Did About It

coffee write book lilbitoffit katie kelly

50 shades of addictions…like this coffee

here. Confessions of another dirty bathroom photo.

lilbitoffit katie kelly coffee indiana underwear bathroom — Confessions of another bathroom photo…

I made some big decisions lately.

I’m going down part time in radiology. This is my last full-time week & I booked a legacy photo shoot for my 40th in August.

I read a past journalist entry this morning dated October of 2020.

It read, “My coworkers & I were going thru our schedules & I had a gut check moment. I’ve had 3, THREE whole days off in 2 months.”

My reaction, “WTF, Katie! You have a problem.”

I’ve confided in y’all about how I have an addictive personality.

I was never addicted to 1 thing. I discovered thru therapy I was addicted to filling voids.

It’s a hard shot to swallow. Most truth bombs are.

I reflected on my journey this mornin & gave gratitude for how far I’ve come. And I hope y’all can do the same. Be proud of yourselves!

My addictions were similar shades.

pete cat coffee computerlilbitoffit katie kelly indiana — Mornings writing with Pete (and coffee, of course)

I’ve been all 50 shades & shapes & sizes of fugged up, mentally & physically. They affected all my relationships.

Like the memes…

𝗠𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲: what do we say when we feel like this?
𝗠𝗲: you coulda had a bad bitch?
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁: NO.

Quoting @lizzobeeating seems like a positive life decision for me at this point

You?

My biggest fear used to be gaining weight.

Now, I’ve quickly discovered my biggest fear is missing out on life & working my life away.

I enjoy coaching y’all, writing, speaking, networking with my community, nurturing relationships, & helping others more at this season in my life than trading my time for money.

I want to spend as much time with my mom & dad, my friends & family as I can, making as many memories as I can.
Loving the sh*t out of this life, squeezing every drop.

That’s my true wealth.

I hope I gave y’all a laugh, & let you know that it’s OK. We are always 1 decision away from a completely different life.

Choose your happy.

Xoxo
Coach K

BONUS: words of wisdom from Dr. Nicole LePera about addiction.

“Addiction is an attempt to regulate a nervous system chronically stuck in fight or flight.

Addiction is an attempt to escape from feeling a pain and emptiness that runs to the core of a persons being.

Addiction is a form of self abuse. When we are abused or emotionally neglected as children, we can become our own abuser. It’s all we know. Our brains seek to repeat the familiar.

Addiction is the result of not having childhood co-regulation. An inability to self sooth. A lack of healthy ways to cope.

Addiction is the result of witnessing things that were scary, overwhelming, or downright terrifying without having a safe adult to help you understand them.

Addiction is the childhood LACK OF EMOTIONAL CONNECTION, manifested.

Addiction is an attempt to silence the “dark” thoughts that re-play (like a broken record) the voice of the critical parent.

Addiction is the result of a society’s greatest lie: that says some people aren’t lovable, worthy, or valuable.

Addiction is SHAME. And it’s usually a shame that was never that persons to carry.

Addiction causes a person to engage in survival based behaviors they wouldn’t otherwise engage in like: deception, abuse, theft, or betrayal.

Addiction is a slow spiritual death that no human being consciously chooses.”

Wishing you all so much healing. Love & hugs

All links, free content, coaching, services, discount codes here!

carnivore lilbitoffit katie kelly indiana — Hailing from Fishers, Indiana, Katie is an aficionado of health, mindset, human connection, & entrepreneurship. Writer, speaker, doer of many things, she grew up on her family’s beef cattle & crop farm where agriculture was her first love. She is a Purdue University graduate well known for her storytelling of life lessons & personal transformation through her own relationships, Crohn’s Disease, disordered eating, CrossFit, & adapting a carnivore diet lifestyle. Katie also has over 16 years experience as a Registered Radiologic Technologist, Nutritionist, & Sales Consultant. You can catch her via Instagram @lil_bit_of_fit & blog, Lilbitoffit.com

June 7, 2022

Ok reasons to not have a kid or get married

I didn’t expect to be asked this question

No better time to discuss this than #pride

I respect & love everyone regardless of their status & beliefs on relationships, food, fitness, parenthood — whatever you wanna fill in the blank here…

I started my social media over 10 yrs ago with the hopes of sharing my life, words, & emotions to become something greater than myself to help others out there just tryna to be a better human.

I refer to myself as “self partnered”. Ive openly been divorced twice.

No ragrets.

I’m grateful for every multi dimensional & faceted relationship in my life.

Use this post as a reminder you are already love.

I’m surrounded by infinite love, abundance, wealth & riches. Prosperity that isn’t simply monetary in nature.

Forms of wealth: self mastery, self awareness, family, health, craft, personal development, money, time, freedom, charity, adventure, circle of genius & environment.

The contrast lies in people cultivating actions & beliefs out of obligation rather than authenticity.

Thru the years, having a specific status like being married or a parent became like a status symbol or achievement.
Like somehow you’re better, more successful — more LOVED than your single or childless self.

I want to remind y’all today — your whole life is Love.

“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.” – Joseph Campbell

I’ll leave you with this…
Don’t be afraid to love. Yourself, other people, experiences — fall in love with as many things as possible!

I carry a piece of every relationship in my heart. I carry them because they made me a better woman — the confident, compassionate, hopeful, self-partnered human that is ready to openly welcome her next one

oxox Coach K

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May 18, 2022

Love people for the humans they are

I cringed. Conversation starter…saw a T-shirt this mornin that said, “The best man for the job is a woman.”🫣

Why do we feel the need to have to hate on the opposite sex? I’m so grateful my parents taught me it’s OK to be a “girl” & it’s OK to be strong like a “man” too. They just wanted my brothers & I to be ourselves.

Listen Linda, I’ve been divorced twice, but I still LOVE & appreciate men. I’m grateful for y’all. I acknowledge there are some things you men do way better than me, & I’m totally OK letting you do it.

I love everything about women, too, we’re both simply unique. (get yer minds out of the gutter, because I know they went there😂)

My mom taught me I can do anything a man can do, & if I can’t, I can hire it done.

💁🏼‍♀️Girl boss shi*t level 100

— THIS is more about being a self-sufficient human, not hating on the other sex.

It’s like when I get questions when you could’ve simply Googled & YouTubed that shiz

Ima straight shooter, we real talk on this channel. Y’all can do your own life admin.

I know I don’t need someone to take care of me nor do I feel like I have to have a man to be happy, but I do love the feeling of having someone to protect & take care of me because they want to.

Successful relationships thrive because you see each other as equals & want the best for one another. Your happiness is my happiness.

Not because either one feels they can’t take care of themselves or are incomplete without the other.

A negative pattern I used to fall into, I would attract partners where I quickly fell into the role of mom, teacher, &/or enabler.

Karen, we ain’t got time for that.

And neither do you guys. Choose a woman that makes you want to be a better man, that lets you be yourself, lets you be the provider, lets you be the more masculine, enjoys taking care of you & most importantly, is your best friend.

Ladies, vice versa.

A healed, confident person is honest, blunt af, & tells you exactly who they are & what they want. If you’re confused, there’s your answer.

How bout we all simply love people for the humans we are & what we bring to the table?!

Oxox Coach K

Would love to hear yawls experiences and thoughts on IG !

March 30, 2022

I’m single, broke, and miserable

As one who has made all the wrong decisions before making the right ones, one thing in life I am most grateful are all the things I’ve done wrong that didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped because they taught me how to do things right & how to roll with life.

I made all the wrong decisions with my health, relationships, & finances.

Had a message from a gal this mornin, she stated she was single, broke, & miserable. I felt her anguish, & I’m here to tell you you define your reality. It is what YOU make it.

Sometimes it takes a heart break &/or us f*cking up in business/health/relationships to shake us awake & help us see we are so much more than what we’re settling for.

I refuse to live a life of mediocracy. I decided this yrs ago, 2018 to be exact, when I was living out of my office, showering at gyms, going thru a heartbreak, barely had enough money to purchase groceries, & no idea what the f*ck I was doing or where I was going.
I just knew I was meant for more.

Things still aren’t perfect but I am so grateful for what I have, hopeful & excited for what’s ahead. I am ruthlessly resilient & diligent. Mental fortitude, getcha some.
Ain’t nobody gonna save you or cut you a check but YOU.

I responded to this gal, “There’s always something to be grateful for & if you’re not living life happy, you’re doing it all wrong. But that’s OK because along the way you’ll figure out what to do right.”

She said she couldn’t find anyone she was compatible, no one checked the boxes.🤔

Y’all, everyone will tell you to find someone with the same interests as yours, same values, yada yada…like it’s a parameter instead of a goal that can develop. And none of us are easy to be with, let’s be honest. You shouldn’t be trying to change anyone else in the process either. Let people be. And don’t accept any less yourself.

Don’t settle for ambiguous texts. Stop idolizing men or women that don’t also put you on a pedestal & do for you. If you’re wanting to up level & be a high value person, stop dating beneath your standards because you’re lonely.

Don’t settle for scraps when you deserve that whole piece of prime rib, baby🥩

Yes, you have to have some common ground. But come on, how many failed relationships have you had that started out with this criteria of checking boxes & looking for compatibility?

I’m embarrassed to say how many I’ve had 👀

They fail overtime because you don’t leave room to learn from each other, you don’t go into a relationship open minded & realize you’re both going to change as people & you have to learn how to evolve & grow together or you’re better off growing apart.

That doesn’t mean you have to hate each other. That means you have to love the other person enough AND yourself enough to know the difference.
Lovingly let people go. That’s you loving yourself. And if you can’t do that you have a lot of inner work & baggage to unpack.

My perspective has changed, I view compatibility as loves achievement – not criteria that has to be met prior to trying to get to know someone.

Imagine creating & transforming a life with the right person. The one you chose to be your favorite.

“Your favorite” should not only be the one who makes you happy but they should be the one who pisses you off, who challenges you, who loves you for all your weirdness, who tells you what you don’t want to hear but need to hear, & continues to choose you every day.

Live life happy.
Compatibility is loves achievement.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

As for me, I have no interest in settling. I read a quote that said, “Settling is what sediment does when it falls to the bottom of a sea or lake, right before it compresses for several million years & turns in to a fossil.”

I’d rather be a fine wine🍷, expensive glass of bourbon 🥃, & some Waygu beef 🥩 than a fossil.

Drop the mic 🎤

Oxox Coach K

February 13, 2022

Love lessons and things to learn about yourself to be successful in love

Love is a classroom not a candy shop.
— Life lessons I’ve learned from the school of hard knocks
📸 : simply showin love for this lil meat sack in the mirror.

lilbitoffit — Self love is the best love.

Love is the most powerful force in the world. In my opinion, the only thing that matters. For nothing would exist in this world, including you, without love.

I used to think there was only one soulmate out there made specifically just for you. After 39 years I’ve learned you’ll meet many people & things throughout your life that will be your “soulmate.” Some for seasons & others maybe for life.

I define “soulmate” now as a mate that helps you find your soul. This includes yourself, memories, places, things, friends, family, lovers, & enemies.

A book that changed my life 15 years ago, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I discovered it in a desk drawer at work & no one knew how it got there. I was miserable at this time struggling in my marriage & with mental & physical health. It taught me the power of my thoughts, love, & perspective.

Lessons I’ve learned about love that may help spark thought & introspection for you today…

-When you seek pleasure & lust it always runs away from you but when you seek purpose, understanding & connection, pleasure comes towards you because it’s a byproduct of you putting in the work.

Learn about yourself & your person. Understand what you both love, how you’re both wired, love languages, etc.

Things that helped me understand myself & other people…
FUN STUFF ABOUT ME👇
▪️Manifesting Generator (Human Design) basically get sh*t done & move at the speed of thought. Busy bodies, worker bees, get more done before 9am than most do in a week.

▪️ENFJ (Myers Briggs) among the rarest of the 16 types, only 2-3% of the population. The ENFJ is warm, extroverted, engaging, charismatic, persuasive, & talkative.⁣ Oprah, Barack Obama, Maya Angelou.

▪️2w3 (Enneagram) The helper/achiever, desire to fulfill the needs of others & can sense emotions with clarity & precision. Helping & achieving brings us Joy.

▪️Love languages: 1.words of affirmation 2. physical touch 3. quality time⁣

⁣▪️Astrology: I’m a Rising Scorpio ♏️ , Cancer ♋️ Sun, Sagittarius ♐️ moon. Basically a contradictory Unicorn because I love deep thinking, caretaking, & solitude, but the Sag loves freedom, extroversion & adventure. I’m freedom & home❤😘

All of these things craft a completely unique & wonderful individual. You can always know someone deeper.

This is why there is so much infidelity because we are addicted to newness. So why don’t you learn something new about your other half? It’s just like walking down the same path every day, why don’t you try to notice a new flower, rock, or tree? Then you’ll discover the same old paths can always be new & exciting. Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Be playful but don’t play mind games. If you’re interested, make the move & observe. If they don’t respond, move on. We build strength when we make the move because we build confidence. This is you being in charge of your destiny. Mind games destroy the authenticity of a relationship.

Making someone feel bad doesn’t make them good. You change because of love, clarity, & communication. We don’t change because of judgment, guilt, & expectation

Any recurring issues you need to solve for the long run.

Prepare your partner for your mood swings & schedule. Communicate what makes you feel safe. For example, ask, “Do you need support or a solution.?” “Does saving make you feel safe or your earning power?” Check in with your other half. Pick one day a week & have a date check in. Ask them, “What was the highlight of your week & how can I help you?

Focus on how you can complement, not compete or complete. When you compete you’re trying to be everything. When you compliment, you are just being you. Take a moment & recognize what your other half brings to the relationship.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday & Valentine’s Eve, squad!
Go out there & love someone today!

oxox Coach K

January 29, 2022

I love storytelling & a note about fullfilment

I love storytelling. I love storytelling my life & I love hearing people share stories about their lives, emotions, & experiences.

I loathe small talk.

Most likely a big reason I find dating exhausting. Too many people are only willing to scratch the surface of actually getting to know someone, putting in the minimal effort required, vapid conversations.

Hardly anyone actually asks you out on a date or even coffee to meet face to face anymore.

I thoroughly enjoy a confident, masculine man who takes the lead & is on the old fashioned side.

Speaking of old fashioneds, ☝️ point if you too fancy this beloved cocktail of choice. Double ribeye points (I just can’t say brownie😂) if you buy me one AND tell me stories about your ambitions, your big goals, your likes/dislikes, weird thoughts, dreams, whatever – I wanna hear it.

Embrace who you are.

Since freeing myself from the chains of people pleasing & what I thought I “should be” & blazing a path of my own, that painful path has led me to being the happiest I have ever been. It has allowed my light to shine & attract the right people, places, lessons, & opportunities.

Not all these things were rainbows & sunshine & sweet cocktails & coffee that taste like heaven. Some felt like gaping wounds that you poured salt on & chased with a shot of bad tequila or a yager bomb.

GAG.

BAD memories from college. Same with anything peach or that semi resembles jungle juice.

Oprah Winfrey said, “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.”

Happy birthday to Queen O today btw. I love Aquarians, from one “weirdo” to another, I see you.

To all my astrology nerds out there, I’m a Scorpio Rising, Cancer Sun, & Sagittarius Moon. Very much a Scorpio/Sag.

Kinda like I’m the most positive, open minded, free spirited, fun person to be around, but my feelings run deep & I will cut a mf if I have to to protect my peace, my family, my people, & my money.

Today, a reminder to just be you, be weird, be kind to people, get to know one another. And realize you’re never behind, there are no timelines, & fulfillment means something different to us all.

I haven’t traveled the world, but I’ve experienced some really cool places. I’ve lived thru moments of what some people back home would only dream of, but yet, I’ve found more fulfillment in my morning coffee, writing, caring for livestock & my plants, that 1st bite of delicious food, listening to music that brings back smiles & memories, watching the flowers & trees dance, feeling sunshine on my skin, & somehow those are more savory.

Let’s have ourselves a day!

oxox Coach K