Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
I was never prepared for half of the shxt I’ve gone through, but I got thru it.
During a client consult call yesterday, the conversation turned into more about her habits & relationships than macros or diet — which often is the “weight” we are carrying around.
Our relationships with other people, food, ourselves, exercise — weigh enormously on our overall health (mental &physical).
Laughter, sleep, nature, nourishing food, sun, friends, alone time — all the best medicines.
My client said she didn’t think she was meant to be in a relationship because they never seem to work out.
I asked her if she was being honest with herself, honest with her partners & really clear on what she wants (or lack of).
She said she thought so.
And I said, “That’s your answer, you don’t just think so — you gotta know.”
I explained people come into your life as mirrors & teachers & if you’re lucky enough, you find a human you align positively with & fancy incredibly well. But that was up to her & the energy she was putting out there.
She said she feels timing is always off.
Sometimes honest feelings & bad timing make the most painful combination.
Thinking you met the right person but at the wrong time. You want so badly for things to work out but there’s that nagging “ I don’t think this is right” ache that won’t go away. Usually ends in dragging things out or hiding feelings which lead to resentment.
A quote that hit me hard in the past: “Some people keep changing partners to avoid changing themselves.”
READ THAT AGAIN
You can insert food & exercise there as well.
I was like, fxck me. I have done this for years🤦🏼♀️
I broke relationships & friendships because speaking up & healing myself didn’t feel “safe.”
I’d cut people out with no remorse without explaining how I was feeling. Because navigating conflict felt like I either had to be the villain or the victim, & that made me weak.
Fears, attachment styles, self sabotaging habits, etc — don’t be afraid to dig your own dirt. This could be the very thing keeping you from losing weight, attracting success, finding love or keeping the one you have or had right in front of your eyes.
What if instead of trying to fix your entire story, just focus on writing one extraordinary story at a time. Then commit to planting those extraordinary seeds every day and watch your story grow. I write everyday. Stories. Stories are important. For they create your identity. The book, Atomic Habits talks about stories. What stories are you telling yourself? What identity do you want to embody? What systems do you have in place to help you achieve your goals? I feel there are 3 big areas of emotion affected by the stories we tell ourselves. Money stories. Relationship stories. Health (Food & Body) stories. What I did wrong: all 3 of these in some way I discounted my worth & desires. I set blocks instead of boundaries — there’s a difference. For example, relationships: If I was asked out & I really liked a guy, I’d lose myself & completely change my plans to do what they wanted to do. This was me not valuing my needs. A block. Now, instead of completely denying myself of my plans/needs I would simply say, “Let me get my workout in (or insert whatever plan I had for myself). I will connect & confirm plans later because I would like to spend time with you.” This is me setting a boundary not a block. This application can be used across the board. Example, Health: instead of saying, “I’m not a morning person, I don’t have time to meal prep.” Set a system & a boundary. “I don’t like to get up early but I will commit to 3 mornings this week & meal prep lunches because I want to be healthy.” Choose extraordinary actions because you deserve to write extraordinary stories. Write the identity you want to embody around money, relationships, & health. Mine👇🏻 MONEY: I am safe, able, deserving, successful & abundant. RELATIONSHIP: I am loved, seen, heard, safe, & significant. My relationships feel like freedom & home. I want my future partner to feel the same in the way they need. HEALTH: I am healthy, energetic, thriving, strong, intelligent, & beautiful in every season. Inner calm, outer order😉 Share yours!
My mom told me, “Stop living your life through your phone.” Ooof like a punch in the gut. I knew she was right. (Dxmnit she always is 😆)
I love social media for connection, education, & inspiration. I wouldn’t have a wonderful digital family like y’all without it.
But I knew I needed to set boundaries & clear toxicity around it.
So I detoxed social media accounts. Unfollowed accounts I no longer align with.
I deactivated Facebook for a while, I now only use it for events, clients, & family.
I wrote these words this morning, let this be thought provoking, a conversation starter, & your inspiration for the week. Feel free to tag & share on instagram HERE
Be so in love with your life that watching another person love theirs makes your heart happy, not sad, jealous, or angry.
Be so confident you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, no black cloud of FOMO can swallow you, dim your light, question your worth, significance, or timeline.
Be so obsessed with nurturing your own gifts, abilities, & desires you don’t have time or energy to criticize others because your fulfillment, impact, & journey are more important.
Be the captain of your life. Determine what values matter to you, what life experiences you want, what relationships you want, what body you want, what career you want, the person you want to embody — let those things be your map.
Stop letting other people’s lives & living with expectations & control be your compass & your map.
There’s so much abundance & love out there. Focus on the positive feelings & outcomes you deserve. Everything you want is waiting for you to receive when you learn to fall in love with your life right now, & NOW is all that matters.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be🤍
I’d love to hear your thoughts & Sunday reflections! Leave’em in comments!👇🏻
Where do your thoughts go during the day? Are you always worrying about the past or future?
Which, I’ll cut to the chase, all you really have is right now.
Are you so caught up in the fear of the past & future that you miss out on the magic of your current experience & all the possibilities?
I know I did for the majority of my life.
I had a lot of ‘One days I’ll do this’ or ‘There’s no way I’m talented enough to do this’ or ‘If only I could change the past.’ Sound familiar?
I love to write.
It’s just something that comes natural to me — putting emotions & thoughts into words. I don’t plan my blogs or IG posts, I let the inspiration come to me & I put those on paper in hopes of helping someone else out there.
I don’t worry about proper grammar or punctuation. I like to write the way I talk. Because that is me. I never thought I was polished or talented enough to actually be called a “writer.”
I ignored the doubt & followed my passion. This last week, I was honored to be asked to write an article for the blog site, Thought Catalogue. My first payed publication.🙌
I never would’ve started writing blogs if it wasn’t for my friend @rossmiller1132 years ago telling me it was something I should look into. I thank him for that!
Another example of believing in yourself, this book I’m holding, I rushed downstairs to pick up this @amazon package yesterday.
I mean, let’s not bullshxt around, I know I’m not the only one that gets excited for Amazon deliveries…so much so, I forget what I order half the time😂🤚
The author is my cousin @meanmattygreen This is his 1st published book! I cannot be more proud of him! I guess the writing gene runs in the family 😉
This book is a breath of fresh air about being present, doing what you love, self awareness, & believing in yourself.
It oozes real life shxt & authenticity. I can hear him thinking & speaking thru his words.
Y’all know I’m about that real reel life!
It’s a short easy read well worth your time & full of words that are the very thing you may need to hear to change your life.
I invested $224 on a @scentsy order from a coworker just starting her side hustle last week.
She’s SO excited & eager.
I can see the sparkle ✨ of hustle in her eyes. My fellow entrepreneurs, you know what I’m talkin about: those dreamy, first time virgin optimism I’m gonna hustle&grind till I bleed, feels.
You also know what it feels like to think you’re a failure, not good enough, & an ‘imposter.’
So I wanted to do something nice for her like others had done for me in the past — build her confidence.
She said, “I took a chance, I dunno if I can do it.” 🤷♀️
I sat down.
I explained the power of her thoughts & vibration. She had to believe she was worthy & successful for the Universe to bring the right people & opportunities.
It takes aligned thoughts, feelings, & ACTION — not from a place of desperation or lack but of ease & abundance.
Did I need said $224 worth of the scent ‘Mystery Man’ in my life?
Maybe, maybe not 😂
Girls you know what I’m talkin about — God love the scent of a nice smelling man.
Am I right?!
Like not the ‘walking by Abercrombie & Hollister, overpowering, tryin too hard’ scent but the ‘confident, walking on the line of arrogance, sharp dressed man’ scent 🤤 Think Mr. Big. All my ‘Sex & the City’ 🌃 📺 👠 fans.
Someone stole my Fitbit watch last week as well. My fault, left it in the sauna bathroom when I changed. You would think most people would turn an item like that in.
They notified me no one turned it in. I replied, “That’s OK! I suppose someone needed my watch more than I did.” They were surprised with my response.
You see I’m grateful someone got pleasure out of me leaving my watch, & I’m grateful I have the finances to purchase another one, which is supporting someone else’s job too.
Look for the 💫 gold linings y’all & do something nice for someone. Your life will be so much sweeter.
And now…I can walk in my apartment to the delectable aroma of my Mystery Man ❤️🤗
I read, “You’re never going to be 100% ready and it’s never going to be just the right time, but that’s the point. It means that every moment is also the right moment. If you want it, you just have to do it.”
Hi five to whomever wrote that.🙋♀️
You wanna know why it’s so hard to get what you want (or what you think you want)?
Fear.
Doesn’t matter if it’s losing weight, talking to a person you like, moving, asking for a raise or going after that job you want.
Muscle ups scare the shit out of me but I commit to practicing relentlessly because I believe in my ability and deservingness of having what I want out of life.
**Some hard truths to take with you into 2021**
1.) You have a short term attitude that doesn’t align with your long-term intentions
Without a long term intention & approach to anything in life, you’re bound to suffer a rebound when you figure out it isn’t working. It’s that “oh fxck” moment…
How you respond afterwords determines everything.
Take weight loss for example. Say you go low carb, lose a few pounds of water weight after a couple days, then discover it’s harder than you thought, your body isn’t responding as quickly as you thought — so you go back to old self sabotaging habits.
How about we commit to something more than 2 weeks? Commit, experiment, try & THEN if it’s still not working, it’s OK, be proud of yourself for trying!
Part of success is willingness to take a risk, yet also being smart enough to own it if it’s not working and search for another solution.
2.) You lack a quality support system
Your environment is everything! Fitness, career, social media, relationship related — doesn’t matter.
Any source that makes you feel bad about yourself and drags your vibration down — get rid of it, unfollow, block, trash it. Replace them with sources and people who are positive & successful & living the life you desire.
I personally have been called a savage for the ability to cut people & things out of my life with no remorse if they are not serving my highest alignment, but guess what? I am a whole hxll of a lot happier because of this skill. Doesn’t mean you have to be an dxck, but be HONEST.
Don’t worry about what other people think of you, you will never be happy if you’re constantly people pleasing. Own your shxt, own your life.
You control your thoughts, environment, and reality of your life. Choose accordingly.
3.) You lack clarity & don’t really know what you want
Write out your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Learn to BE with yourself. Align your thoughts & actions accordingly to be the person you want to embody and that life will follow.
If you’re chronically stressed, sleep deprived, overworked, & talk down to yourself, your life will be a helluva lot harder.
Set you day up for success. You should have a success routine & habits in place. I wrote a blog just the other day about 8 things you should do every single day to be more successful. I suggest you go back and look at that.
Keeping these 3 hard truths in mind will allow you to create the space to welcome more abundance in your life.
As the sun sets in Steve Job’s Life, he gave the world one last gift. “The World’s six best Doctors” – by Steve Jobs.
As I walked in the sun yesterday, enjoying the warmth on my face, I reread this essay. I let the words that resonated with me sink in….
ox Enjoy!
This is his final essay:
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In some others’ eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, my wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone bear your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found or replaced. But there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost – Life.
Whichever stage in life you are in right now, with time, you will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.
Treat yourself well and cherish others.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down – you go down with it.
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, that is true happiness!
Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price.
Eat your food as your medicine, otherwise you have to eat medicine as your food.
The One who loves you will never leave you for another because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find a reason to hold on.
There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.
You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage!
The six best doctors in the world are – sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence and friends.
Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy life!!
I could talk all day about the mistakes I’ve made throughout my fitness journey.
To name a few:
Feeling I had to earn food or use it as a reward
Yo-yo dieting & falling for fads, pills, & what Karen down the road was doing
Wearing restriction as a badge of honor then falling victim to self-loathing, disordered eating & exercise habits
Eating all the wrong foods for me physically and mentally causing paralyzing G.I. distress
Equating my worth with abs & a number displayed on a dirty box which sits on my bathroom floor
Losing weight doesn’t have to feel like a punishment, in fact that’s the one thing you must avoid.
Think about it, if you hate what you’re eating and how you’re training, do you think you’re going to stick to it?
— Heck no.
Losing weight is simple, but it’s not EASY. Ultimately it comes down to being in an energy deficit. (Taking in less energy than you are expending)
We over complicate the process. We set ourselves up for failure by chronically dieting, picking the wrong kinds of workouts, picking the wrong kinds of foods we cannot digest & absorb properly, we over stress, under eat, under educate ourselves, under execute, & over train.
Don’t even get me started on the negative self talk & shxtty mindset syndrome.
30 years ago (I’m almost 39 now😬) my fitness journey began. I was 8 years old. My heaviest weight was 160 lbs on a 5’1 frame.
Right now is actually the lowest weight (avg 107-110lbs) & best health I’ve ever been. And I’m eating at my true maintenance (calories around 2000-2200 daily). Maintenance is we all should be hanging out the majority of our lives.
I’ve made the same mistake as you have. We are all different as far as what foods & training work best for you.
Here are some examples of hacks that have helped me keep the weight off and I hope it helps you find the right tools for your toolbelt too!
Abstainer: cannot have just 1 cookie without then eating or wanting to eat the whole pan. Does better with food rules and a more “all or none approach.” More prone to binge eating.
Moderator: can have 1 cookie and be satisfied. Needs more flexibility.
Are you a food addict? Get real with yourself. I understand this stuff isn’t pretty.
What is your relationship with carbohydrates? Are they like drugs which trigger self sabotaging habits? How do they make you feel? Do you need them for your health & fitness goals for optimal health, performance, & recovery? What is your daily threshold that makes you feel your best?
2.) CHOOSE THE FOODS & TRAINING YOU LOVE AND HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH
For me, it’s animal based nutrition. Protein & healthy fats are the center of my meals. I do not have a good relationship with carbohydrates and have many emotional and physical trigger foods. I only consume carbohydrates when I need them for optimal health, performance, and recovery. I find eating carbohydrates makes me crave more carbohydrates & I’m not satiated as sticking with meat only.
I prefer CrossFit like training. I love the community, I love the variety, I love it combines strength and aerobic conditioning. It’s effective af & keeps me happy. Therefore it’s easy for me to stick to my routine.
3.) EAT & TRAIN INTENTIONALLY & MINDFULLY
The food you eat literally makes you. Choose accordingly. Slow down when you eat, enjoy every bite, chew thoroughly, eat till you’re 80% full. Same with your training. Pick a goal and stick with it. Keep your commitments to yourself. Work hard & rest when you need to and be intentional about both! Motivation is fleeting, your integrity & character are forever.
4.) SET YOUR NONNEGOTIABLES & FLEXIBILITY
Especially important when it comes to social functions & family. Set step goals. Mine are between 13-15k on average. Maybe you allow yourself 2 cocktails on the weekends, maybe it’s one untracked meal with family, maybe it’s 2 refeed days on the weekends, maybe it’s more carbohydrates one day a week, maybe it’s dessert a couple times a week, maybe you do better being strict for a couple weeks & taking a week off, maybe you prefer to take your own food when you go out. Anything goes, you are your own boss, but OWN IT.
5.) GRATITUDE AND CELEBRATE EVERY WIN
Y’all gratitude is everything. You can’t hate yourself healthy and love yourself healthy at the same time. Which one would you rather choose? Take progress pictures, the scale isn’t the only indicator of success. Maybe you’re eating for better energy and better biofeedback. Maybe you’re trying to get stronger. The number on the scale does not dictate your worth or achievement.
6.) MANAGE YOUR MINDSET & OWN YOUR DAY
You should have a success routine nailed down. I talked about 8 things you should do every day that will change your life, yesterday. Check out that post and blog. If you continuously tell yourself you are a failure & always fxck up, guess what? That’s what you’ll attract & become. Talk to yourself like your best friend. What would you say, what advice would you give her or him? Be the person you want to embody.
You can make moves or excuses. You either DO or your DON’T.
She told me I really have no idea my purpose or where I fit in.
To anyone who has struggled with this question, I feel your emotions to my core.
Some of my painful realizations that may help you too:
👉🏻I love entrepreneurship but I’m a really shxtty number 1 person when it comes to running a business. I’m a GREAT connection maker & number 2!
Learned this coaching nutrition full time at one point & managing a sales territory for an online meal prep company.
I have gifts I’m naturally good at. Im a responder by nature, not an initiator. Great idea thinker. I’m phenomenal at reading people & the energy in a room — which makes me good at connecting with emotions.
I loathe being ‘salesy’ & feeling like I HAVE to make sales for my livelihood. I lose the love for it and build resentment.
The thought of cold calls make me CRINGE. I also HATE luke warm small talk. Give me a hot lead, give me something to respond to & I’ll close the deal 99% of the time.
Taking on a high volume of clients takes a huge toll on my energy. I had to learn to scale & balance my loves of healthcare & coaching to create a positive, abundant, & safe environment to cultivate a lifestyle I loved without losing my shxt.
I felt ashamed & embarrassed to own this for years. Felt it made me a “failure”
I enjoy working as a team & for other people. I need direction but enough freedom to not feel caged in. That’s the sweet spot where I thrive.
It hurts. It’s painful to go through these experiences, but let me remind you the roads less traveled lead you to some of the most important people & places you’re meant to be.
My 1st job ever was working on my family farm.
2nd was working as an animal science lab assistant at Purdue.
3rd was a vet tech.
4th was a well-paying job with a
pharmaceutical company.
—I hated it.
I made the decision my happiness was worth more than a paycheck.
Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. I met my 2nd love — healthcare. My 1st will always & forever be agriculture.
Guess what?
Still dunno wtf I’m doin or where I’m goin. One thing is for dxmn sure my life is never boring😂
It’s OK to not know.
It’s NOT OK to settle for mediocrity.
Don’t be afraid to take risks & take the path less traveled.
