I didn’t dare talk about it much publicly when I was younger, I used to binge eat — A LOT. It didn’t help my health, gut, performance, or fat loss goals at all either. I was scared to strength train because I have no idea where to start.
Binging happened mostly when I was lonely, stressed, or bored. Sometimes, it would happen when I was celebrating, too — but always when I was alone. I would go to the store, buy junk food, then go home or sit in my car & eat as much as I could. I was an addict, food was my drug, & binging was a high.
I’d eat until I didn’t think I could eat another bite, & then felt so sick I’d puke to “undo” what I”d done. Sometimes even after I threw up, I’d wait a while, & when the feelings of nausea started to subside, I’d start eating again until either the food was gone, I vomited, or until I went to bed in deep shameful sleep.
Without fail, I’d wake up feeling like absolute shit the next day. I’d beat myself up, forcing an unending spiral of guilt, restriction, & punishment. My gut flares out of control!
To make myself feel even worse, I’d look in the mirror & tell myself how terrible I looked, & that I would never be good enough until I could stop eating & got as thin as I could. That if only I could somehow turn myself into one of those people who just “forgets” to eat, then I’d finally be good enough.
But that was the wrong approach. Obviously.
I took the time to look deeper into my behaviors & habits, I started to be kinder to myself & feel empathy.
Back then, I didn’t treat food as fuel & workouts as a celebration of my body as I do now.
So if you deal with binge eating or know someone who does, or don’t know where to start on your fitness journey 👉know that you’re not alone.
Here’s your reminder you CAN!
I’m over 3 years meat-based with my diet! It serves my autoimmune, physical & emotional needs!
Here’s to a lifetime of living vibrationally & giving myself what I deserve.
I wish the same for you too!
Can you relate to my story?
oxox Coach K #fitnessjourney #crohnsdisease #weightlosstransformation #bingeeatingrecovery
The Number one regret of the dying & a sobering conversation
It was a sobering & reflective conversation.
“I wish I’d had the courage to simply love when it felt right & live a life true to myself & not the life others expected of me or worry about timelines.”
Had a terminal patient tell me this years ago as I finished their CT.
I now view heart as the currency of life. I look for people to add value & joy to my life. That’s it. I no longer complicate experiences by letting my ego, my past, & fear of the future taint my enjoyment of the present experience & relationships.
👆🏻That’s what I told a follower this mornin before crossfit.
She said she had no idea really how to “do life” — relationships, career, or body. She said, “I don’t know what it’s like to look in the mirror & feel beautiful & happy.”
My heart ached. I empathize, I lived decades basically lost, too.
I chose this picture & song for this post intentionally. I did all my make up & hair myself for a gala. Had a great time simply enjoying being creative from a place of self love vs self hate. I felt exquisite. I prayed for someone to love me like the lyrics of this song for decades.
When you get to the point of healing & wholeness where you don’t let your body or relationship or career or the clothes etc, wear you — life completely changes abundantly.
I told her her future self will look back on her life right now, & wish she could live it again. Not because she wanted to DO anything different. But because she would wish she’d enjoyed it more.
☝🏻If I could share only 1 life lesson with you, it would be this.
BODY: love yourself & body for everything you are, not what you aren’t.
CAREER: you’re already rich if you have a career you love, roof over your head, food to eat, & people who love you.
RELATIONSHIPS: the ‘right’ one feels like freedom & home without ego. You’re able to share every detail of yourself, life, & evolve together.
We’re always living. But the question is, are you living YOUR best life fearlessly?
Drop a ❤️ if you’re ready🤘🏻
Oxox Coach K #fitnessjourney #selflove #transformationtuesday
Things adulthood taught me that never age
Things adulthood taught me that never age…
#transformationtuesday
👉🏻Choose your friends, food, & alcohol wisely. Ps. Taking 3 shots instead of 5 is still not taking better care of your body🥃
👉🏻Credit cards are dangerous
👉🏻You can bless & block anyone or anything from your life if it disturbs your peace & energy. You don’t owe anyone anything
👉🏻Rescuing a cat 🐈⬛ & a bottle of @crownroyal are totally acceptable valentine gifts to yourself
👉🏻There is no such thing as too many plants (or coffee)🪴☕️
👉🏻 I don’t remember life before @instacart & @amazon prime or #meatbars 🤷♀️
👉🏻 Life actually starts when you get an airfryer. Get 1 sooner♨️❤️
👉🏻The answer is always walk & meat 🥩🦶
👉🏻Stop ignorin all the red flags they be showin, they’re not check engine lights 😆 & when you think a mf won’t do you like that, they absolutely will do you like that 👀
👉🏻You cannot send 2 questions to a man in the same message or next message before getting a reply to the 1st one. You’ll only get a reply to 1. Slow down😜
👉🏻You spend the majority of your day rubbin a piece of glass 📱🤳🏻 Love life fiercely that’s all that matters. Not just the highlight reels.
👉🏻Grocery Stores should put carts in the middle where my pride realizes I have too much sh*t to carry
👉🏻Rugs are expensive save your money, spend it buying your own flowers💐
👉🏻When I was young I wanted 2 kids, a picket fence, & married by 21…lets all laugh together. 😂 Live your own timeline.
👉🏻 Live simple. Things weigh you down. (Except meat. Buy the meat 🍖🙃)
👉🏻Part of me wants to be a powerful independent woman who makes a 💩 ton of money & the other part wants to be a trophy wife with new boobs sitting at the pool & the most difficult decision of my day being what cocktail I wanna drink. Your wants & needs will change. Let them. Always aim to evolve higher. You can do it all!
👉🏻Beware of cocktails that taste like juice, ice cream, or a slushy…before ya know it you can’t walk & have to pick up your dignity down the street the next day. Treat your body like a trash can & you become the trash can.
👉🏻It’s ok to go thru this phase called “fxck everything.” Do your squats & know your worth. Take it one “WTF” at a time.
Oxox
Loving your journey. Beauty and Fitness come in all shapes and sizes.
I saw a woman running yesterday. She was red faced, sweating, & workin it! #transformationtuesday
I talk about avoiding labels for a reason. When most people think of a runner, or weightlifter, or whatever “athlete” you choose, you automatically think of a specific body type right?
Someone long, lean, & muscular.
This woman didn’t fit that description at all.
I loathe the word “fat”, because in my opinion,
- Rude.
- It’s a label & stereotypes someone as being unfit or unhealthy when that may not be the case at all. You don’t know their story.
I find all bodies beautiful, especially voluptuous ones. I smile whenever I see someone working out, especially young kids, the elderly, and someone who doesn’t fit the stereo typical profile of an “avid exerciser” & it motivates me.
I’ve shared my journey with y’all many times. I’ve told you that in high school I was told I was too big to be a cheerleader or an athlete. Truly I couldn’t even run around a track once without seeing stars & wanting to pass out. Before CrossFit I had never touched a barbell nor could I do one pull up to save my life.
Fitness, running, health, weight lifting, & fat loss were not things I was genetically gifted or came easily or naturally to me.
It’s something I still have to continue to work at. The difference is I have made it a part of who I am, I choose consistency over excuses, & I’ve learned to love my journey & all the seasons, shapes, sizes, & puzzle pieces that come with.
So a reminder & message to you, that it abso-f*ckin-lutely doesn’t matter how much you weigh, how small or big you are, what diet you choose, whether you eat meat or not, what your story is/has been — fitness & health don’t have a size or requirement.
It all starts with a choice to be your best self.
I’m motivated by anyone who gets up & moves. It doesn’t matter their skill & it sure as sh*t doesn’t matter their size.
I’m most inspired by those who are just starting out in their fitness journey because I know exactly what it’s like to start from scratch & have no fuggin idea what you’re doin or worried about what people think of you.
I’m not the fastest runner, I’m not the fittest or strongest person, I have cellulite & stretch marks on my thighs, BUT I am strong, I am dedicated, & I love this body that keeps me alive.
So to the woman I saw running, thank you. You’ve inspired me & millions of other humans in the world in more ways than one.
Because you are the human that chooses to be better & proves beauty & fitness comes in all shapes & sizes.
Oxox Coach K