The major break up that shook my world.

The breakup…was with the World.

Hey there, I’m Katie. Indiana farmer’s daughter, former hot mess, overweight, shopping addict turned minimalist mindset & carnivore guru. In 5 years, I went from totally broke, to a 60lbs healthier, financially-free minimalist. I joke & say I did most of this with nothing more than an air fryer, ground beef, & a prayer.

I currently am a nutritionist & travel radiologic technologist RT(R) with 20 years experience in the healthcare & nutrition industry. I got rid of my apartment, ditched my storage unit, & now, basically everything I own fits in the back of my 2019 Ford EcoSport (named Ruby btw). We travel all over the US somewhere between scrubs, boots, & steak.

Looking back, there is one thing I wish I had had. A friend to share the journey with me, who actually understood what I was going through. This is my hope for everything I share here & social. It’s is for you.

To be a place where you can shake off the shame of imperfection, the need to people please, & where we can both show up as our authentic selves, even if we’re still in yesterday’s sweatpants.

Think of this as a standing coffee date with an old friend whose only job is to hear you out, hype you up, remind you that you are already enough, & doesn’t mind if you spike your coffee. 😉 🥃

As always, let’s keep this simple.

Let’s keep this real.

Let’s choose our own adventures!

Life is hard enough. Welcome to my storybook & a farmer’s daughter’s guide to life.

I used to be gorger & hoarder of things. Material things.

Emotional things. 

Relational things.

Food things.

Minimalism, or peacefully living with less is not something that came easy for me.

Back in my 20s & 30s I racked up those credit cards so high I was drowning in 50k+ of debt. It imprisoned me. I fully admit I was owned & controlled by my addiction to things.

My car was even repossessed at one point. I remember sinking to floor, tears streaming down my face, in disbelief & shame that I had allowed myself to get that low.

I bought things to make myself “feel better.” To numb empty feelings of aloneness in my relationship, disappointment with myself, & the void of fulfillment & purpose in my life.

I realize what’s clutter for you may not be clutter for me, & vice versa. Minimalism to me is the willingness to sit with the following question:

How might my life be more with less?

We encounter a lot of temptations in the form of things to be possessed, things to be pursued, things with which to be preoccupied.

And these become little traps for us that lead to a life of defeat, a life of discouragement, a life of distraction & so on. And so, I see minimalism as the willingness to let go of anything that gets in the way of us living our most free, authentic life.

I asked myself one morning: What is my life about? What am I about? What do I fully support & love? What is my why? Why am I here? What is the impact that I am to have? What gives me anxiety & heaviness that I can prevent or improve that will GIVE me freedom & energy?

And “clutter” became anything that got in the way of the answers to those questions.

I read & reread the book by Robin Sharma, The Wealth Money Can’t Buy. Incredible. Life changing. 

And so when I think about wealth, I don’t think of it so much in terms of what I have, but what I do with what I have. That to me is having a more spiritual understanding of what wealth is.

For example, you could say if I were to give you a Tesla right now, that would make you wealthy.

What would truly make you wealthy is your use of that Tesla to serve other people, to solve problems, & to create value for yourself & others. That’s what wealth is. It’s defined by what we do.

And so, I like to think of minimalism as not scarcity or being better than someone else because I they’ve on less, but abundance healthfully expressed.

Minimalism doesn’t mean not wanting things or buying things we love but investing in things that make us vibrate & embody our highest selves.

For me, if it isn’t a necessity, or doesn’t bring me extreme joy, or make me money in some way — I don’t buy it or I return it. If it’s something I can’t sell, I donate to charity.

I see hoarding now as hoarding energy & holding me back. I live with an open hand, open mind, & open heart. Which means letting things & people go when it’s their time.

A minimalist lifestyle has been more than just decluttering for me. In fact, it went hand-in-hand with my spiritual awakening.

Have you ever considered the freedom you could find with breaking up with the world? Letting go of what everyone else thinks or expects from you & going with the natural flow of things?

To me, I have worked so hard or let go so much to just embrace the fact that I have no idea what’s going to happen to me tomorrow.

I used to get so beat up, so mad about the fact I used to be angry at myself feeling like I could have changed some of my life’s outcomes. And in reality, the letting go & the accepting of has been one of the best things I have done for myself & my sanity.

And it has truly allowed me to live a richer life just by changing my mindset by breaking up with the world.

I think so often we can become so consumed with the things that we see, the things that we feel, our accomplishments, what we think we are, what we think we’re capable of. 

We can get so lost in our jobs, we can get lost in a partner, we can get lost in our looks, we can get lost in the opinions of other people.

And by breaking up with the world, by not letting any of these things define us or control us or rob us of joy in any way, we allow ourselves to be in control of our own joy.

I say that oftentimes the clothes were me trying to be who I thought the world wanted me to be, & the same with my fake lashes, fake nails, fancy apartment, & my “stuff.”

I invest in things now because they bring me joy & creative self expression, not to convince people to see me as I hope they would see me.

Now I love & enjoy thrift stores, consignment, goodwill, & supporting small business.

And by eliminating that “stuff,” I started taking back my power. I started telling the world who I was & who I wanted to be, & not giving a frick what people thought. It’s about boundaries.

The more I have learned to just love everything & everyone & myself as they are, as it is. And saying no to a situation or to a person isn’t me saying no to that person. It’s just me saying yes to how I spend my time, money, & energy. It’s me saying yes to my own sanity.

If I keep saying yes to everyone & everything, I am going to have nothing left to give anyone.

By letting go of my stuff, it was a way of releasing myself from people-pleasing & other people’s opinions.

Minimalism has allowed me to transform my life & release so much of the stress & the pressure of control that I used to carry with me every day.

I have been able to find so much freedom, not only in the time that it has granted me or the freedom that it allows, but the freedom in my soul that I have been able to gain because of it.

Minimalism, though at its core is having less things, but it’s really about intentional living & having the things in your life that are meaningful & energy giving to you.

Marie Kondō helped me take minimalism to another level. She wrote the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Her baseline concept is really looking at the material goods & the things that you have in your life & asking yourself, “Does this truly bring me joy?”

Before I purchase something, I ask myself, “Do I need this? Will I use this? Will this bring me joy, comfort, fulfillment, & creative self-expression enough to warrant investing my money energy on it?”

✅YES = that’s what I call “Happy Money” spent. Highly suggest reading Ken Honda’s book, Happy Money. Also a game changer. 

So, for me, that was a really big shift in my mentality when it came to looking at my things. Gratitude instead of shame. Empowerment instead powerless.

That gave me the ability to look in my closet where I felt a lot of guilt when it came to expensive clothing that I bought, maybe clothes that I bought that were cute, but I never actually ended up wearing, nostalgic pieces from old boyfriends or gifts or whatever it was & make a better decision.

Like shirts that I’ve had for a long time & felt like I should still keep. I was able to approach my closet, look at some of those things & say, “Hey, thank you, white T-shirt that I can’t keep clean. I need to release you. And thank you for the good memories sweatshirt from my ex or dress from that amazing party. Thank you! But it time for me to release you & let someone else love you to allow fresh, new, better energy into my life. Thank you for bringing me joy.”

I learned to appreciate what I bought & also know that I could live untethered & separate from them without stripping my worth or a label I somehow received because of them. I really shifted from guilt to gratitude. I could say thank you for bringing me joy & put it in my donate pile with love & release.

There were times I bought something because I thought it was really going to be cute & make me feel a certain way, but the truth is 95% of the time when I go into my closet, I’m looking for something tactical, maybe a certain color, & most importantly, comfortable.

Simply appreciating & acknowledging that fact prevents you from going into the store & making more mistakes in the future.

A promise practice I created for myself: whenever I buy something, I must donate & release something. Eliminates clutter, hoarding & impulse buying.

With traveling somewhere new about every 13-26 weeks as I do for my career as a travel radiologic technologist, you realize you have to pack light & smart. You learn what you really value & what’s important to you because moving a bunch of sh*t all the time…well, you ain’t got the time or energy for that. It used to give me anxiety. Now everything I own fits in the back of my 2019 Ford EcoSport. 

A big part of cutting down the clothes was doing a capsule wardrobe.

So what’s a capsule wardrobe?

So glad you asked 😊 

Capsule wardrobes are where you intentionally buy things that are tactical, of similar style, similar color, so that most of the pieces will flow & piece together well with each other no matter what season. You have outfits that work together. So it’s just easier to pick out your clothes.

Not only will a capsule wardrobe make your life easier, but it is also:

  • Sustainable
  • Saves time & money
  • Timeless
  • Longer-lasting fashion

Start with a small selection of clothing pieces that make up many different outfits when combined.  Part of the concept is having an overall neutral color palette with a few pops of color, maybe a stylish jackets or sparkly funsies thrown in there.

Hugely helps with decision fatigue!

There is no strict rule for the number of items in a capsule wardrobe, It all depends on your lifestyle & your preference. Usually, a capsule wardrobe doesn’t exceed more than 50 items.

If most of your clothes fall under a certain color scheme, you can really mix & match whatever you need to.

Here’s a little checklist if you’re unsure of how to get started. The following items are basic items that get you covered for most occasions, including work. If you’re not sure what color to pick, I recommend going with neutrals, such as navy, grey, black, beige, or white.

  • Pantsuit
  • Blazer
  • Pencil skirt
  • Button-up shirt (long & short sleeve)
  • White T-shirt (long & short sleeve)
  • Little black dress
  • Jeans & shorts
  • Nice dress coat & a casual jacket
  • White sneakers
  • Boots (of course 🙂 
  • Scrubs if you work in healthcare ( I love Figs)
  • Sweatpants, shorts, t shirts, sweatshirt (think gym wear that double as pajamas)

Here are some suggestions to think about when putting together your capsule wardrobe: a timeless blazer, a button-down shirt that fits you well, a sleek pencil skirt, a sweater that can be layered, a fabulous pair of jeans, and a versatile dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the accessories.

These pieces can be combined in various ways to create outfits, and you can also incorporate seasonal trends to keep your wardrobe interesting and up-to-date.

To expand your women’s capsule wardrobe, you can consider including a few essential items like a striped shirt, basic T-shirts, a sweater, a blouse, a cardigan, a denim jacket, and black leggings.

This same principle can also be applied to accessories and footwear by ensuring you have at least one representative item from each category.

This just makes it easier to take things out. When I was going through my wardrobe the first time, I realized that there are certain colors I don’t wear. I don’t wear anything that I have to iron either haha! So now I don’t buy things that I have to iron, but little things like that are helpful to acknowledge.

Another big thing for me too when it comes to wardrobe is I realize that sometimes I do know right away after I bring something home that I don’t like it, but I’m used to be so terrible about returning things! So now I only shop at places that have a very generous return policy because for me, sometimes I still have the tag on it three months later. Amazon is also awesome. Easy returns.

Now I fearlessly just buy the clothes, but keep all the receipts & keep the tags on until I wear it. I have a receipt drawer/folder, and if needed, I can return anything that needs to be returned. I also always get digital receipts if that’s a possibility.

Another thing that can be helpful as far as avoiding accumulating things is not purchasing things the moment they go to your mind. Because now with Amazon online shopping, you can literally think of an item and then purchase it in that second with one click purchasing. 

Instead, you can write it on a list and wait a few weeks to see if you still want it. I really only give myself 24-48 hours. And it turns out that’s all the amount of time I need to control my impulse shopping. Because a lot of times I really, really, really think I need something. And then after sleeping on it, I just realized that that was an impulse purchase.

Another tip, never enter Target. Hahahah!!! But for real, I try to avoid Target & TJ Maxx as much as possible.

I hope this inspired you a little bit today! And feel free to reach out on social media or via email (katieokelly2@gmail.com) & let me know how you feel about it all because I always love to hear from y’all as well!

Oxox Coach K

Like blogs like these? Come adventure, get FIT, & live your best life with me, too!

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