“What’s your 5 year plan?” She asked.
I laughed.
Sister, 2 months ago I wouldn’t have thought one of the most important decisions of my week would be what sweatpants I’m wearing to the living room today?
I stumbled across a to do list as I flipped back through my daily planner…
…I welled with emotion.
It was so BUSY.
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Busy with apts, shopping lists, workouts, work schedules, errands to run, consults, projects ideas, meetings, down to what color scrubs I needed to wear to make sure I went to the right hospitals.
Stress — on my body, mind, & spirit.
I felt ashamed to discover it. Time & life have changed so much. Forced to slow down. To long for that old life, the “normalcy.”
It was also a great reminder.
A reminder of how we’ve transformed busyness into beingness.
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I’m different now. I long for pieces of that old “normalcy” but not the busy.
I loathe the word busy. I used it as a bullshit excuse & conversation filler for years. I catch myself doing it now.
I used it for not doing things I wanted to.
Travel. Vacation.
Spend time with friends & loved ones.
Invest in a new project, job, or venture.
Move.
Just fucking BE & do what I want to in a day.
Mostly out of fear of not having enough money or being seen as lazy. BUSY made me feel safe & worthy.
Same with control. If I control my body, my food, my workouts, my schedule — everything will be ok. Which in the past I’ve realized leads to disordered eating & body image & a poor relationship with food, myself, & exercise.
You place your worth on what you look like & how much you’re achieving.
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So when you’re not “busy” what initially happens?
You emotionally eat.
You doubt yourself.
You compare.
You get anxiety.
You lose your labels & sense of self.
Your relationships suffer.
Basically you step on the hot mess express full speed ahead.
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Emotional eating is a biggie.
So here are some things to help you:
🌞 Stay occupied, halfway organize your day and do a brain dump the night before. That way you kind of know what to expect & can set a semischedule.
🌞 Jot down tentative eating times so you have something to stick to — expectations & commitments to yourself. And this way you can plan around your activities for the day.
🌞 Good activities that help pass the time positively:
-Cleaning house
-Purging old things from closets and spaces it makes way for new positive energy
-Take a nap, most of us don’t get enough sleep anyways
-Read — Knowledge + action is power
-Invest in a new learning course or workshop — be a forever student
-Color or pick up a creative hobby that keeps your mind and hands busy
-Go for a walk or do a mini workout for 20 minutes
-Call a friend
-Brain dump and schedule your week
-Listen to a podcast or write in your journal
-Go shopping, run errands, get out of the house
-Keep trigger foods out of the house if you know you can’t control yourself well around certain foods
– Eat a big breakfast with plenty of proteins and fats they will keep you fuller the majority of the day: things like eggs and sausage, eggs and bacon, burgers, roasts, it doesn’t have to be breakfast food
It’s ok to plan, but leave room for grace, flexibility & adventure.
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Next time when I’m sitting in traffic, running late, I’ll reflect on the time of not having anywhere to run to. I’ll remember in the midst of confusion & suffocating stillness I grew strong, calm, & found a new appreciation of life & control.
Xoxo Coach K