“What’s your 5 year plan?” She asked.
I laughed.
Sister, 2 months ago I wouldn’t have thought one of the most important decisions of my week would be what sweatpants I’m wearing to the living room today?
I stumbled across a to do list as I flipped back through my daily planner…
…I welled with emotion.
It was so BUSY.
Busy with apts, shopping lists, workouts, work schedules, errands to run, consults, projects ideas, meetings, down to what color scrubs I needed to wear to make sure I went to the right hospitals.
Stress — on my body, mind, & spirit.
I felt ashamed to discover it. Time & life have changed so much. Forced to slow down. To long for that old life, the “normalcy.”
It was also a great reminder.
A reminder of how we’ve transformed busyness into beingness.
I’m different now. I long for pieces of that old “normalcy” but not the busy.
I loathe the word busy. I used it as a bullshit excuse & conversation filler for years. I catch myself doing it now.
I used it for not doing things I wanted to.
Travel. Vacation.
Spend time with friends & loved ones.
Invest in a new project, job, or venture.
Move.
Just fucking BE & do what I want to in a day.
Mostly out of fear of not having enough money or being seen as lazy. BUSY made me feel safe & worthy.
Same with control. If I control my body, my food, my workouts, my schedule — everything will be ok. Which in the past I’ve realized leads to disordered eating & body image & a poor relationship with food, myself, & exercise.
You place your worth on what you look like & how much you’re achieving.
So when you’re not “busy” what initially happens?
You emotionally eat.
You doubt yourself.
You compare.
You get anxiety.
You lose your labels & sense of self.
Your relationships suffer.
Basically you step on the hot mess express full speed ahead.
Emotional eating is a biggie.
So here are some things to help you:
🌞 Stay occupied, halfway organize your day and do a brain dump the night before. That way you kind of know what to expect & can set a semischedule.
🌞 Jot down tentative eating times so you have something to stick to — expectations & commitments to yourself. And this way you can plan around your activities for the day.
🌞 Good activities that help pass the time positively:
-Cleaning house
-Purging old things from closets and spaces it makes way for new positive energy
-Take a nap, most of us don’t get enough sleep anyways
-Read — Knowledge + action is power
-Invest in a new learning course or workshop — be a forever student
-Color or pick up a creative hobby that keeps your mind and hands busy
-Go for a walk or do a mini workout for 20 minutes
-Call a friend
-Brain dump and schedule your week
-Listen to a podcast or write in your journal
-Go shopping, run errands, get out of the house
-Keep trigger foods out of the house if you know you can’t control yourself well around certain foods
– Eat a big breakfast with plenty of proteins and fats they will keep you fuller the majority of the day: things like eggs and sausage, eggs and bacon, burgers, roasts, it doesn’t have to be breakfast food
It’s ok to plan, but leave room for grace, flexibility & adventure.
Next time when I’m sitting in traffic, running late, I’ll reflect on the time of not having anywhere to run to. I’ll remember in the midst of confusion & suffocating stillness I grew strong, calm, & found a new appreciation of life & control.
Xoxo Coach K