Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
It all starts with learning to love yourself & disassociating your worth with what you look like. I still have stretch marks, rolls, loose skin, & wrinkles.
My body has been all shapes and sizes! Transformation takes time!
I gained 10lbs when I started CrossFit at 31. I gained 15 when I started carnivore almost 3 yrs ago. Your body is meant to transform
For me, my body acceptance/neutrality started with mourning my own thinner self & my more “athletic” physique when I was training harder. You have to acknowledge & sit with these feelings 1st. Rest is absolutely necessary especially when it comes to healing. This was the toughest part of finally reaching my own body acceptance & realizing I was now in a different season of life.
I understand. It’s easy to find yourself romanticizing the times you’re physically at your lowest. Realize that physical low may also mean you’re at a mental low as well. My disordered body image, eating, & relationship with self exacerbated with the glorification of my weight loss. It fueled the fire to more disordered behaviors because you crave that validation.
It’s ok to feel all the feels & go thru the wheel of disgust. You have to get to sweet spot of self love regardless of your weight.
Some things I want you remember:
1.) It’s OK to have body goals & want to see what your body can do as long as it comes from a place of self love, not loathing. Make sure you’ve healed any imbalances, done your due diligence to eat enough food to function like a rock star & set yourself up for a successful body goal.
2.) Body positivity & acceptance doesn’t mean you use them as an excuse to eat & treat your body like a trash can. You are what you eat & we were meant to move. You are your habits.
3.) Abs don’t mean you’re healthy & having a few extra rolls don’t mean your unhealthy. We all look different. Chase health first. Choose the diet that works for you. Choose the workouts you love.
**Warning** This may be sensitive, triggering information for some.**
It’s officia! This is the beginning of my journey as an author. You guys have been telling me for years to write a book about my life…so I’m keeping my promise. Manifesting this sh*t.
I decided to just. start. writing. Here are some bits & pieces from, Confessions of a Sick, Overweight, Broke B*tch.
Enjoy, I hope these nuggets can resonate in a way you need.
How bout that cat shirt tho? 🙂
I remember it well, it was a Saturday morning. I snuck an unopened package of Girl Scout Tagalong Cookies into my bedroom. I ate the entire box while everyone slept.
Who would’ve known the gates of addiction, self sabotage, sickness, obesity, & decades of debt & relationship debacles would follow.
My body image issues, food addiction, gut dis-ease, & disordered eating started at the age of 8 with the opening of a package of girl scout cookies.
I could put away more food than my father did at dinner.
I’ll never forget my mom (bless her heart she meant well) saying, “If you keep eating like that you’ll get as big as a barn.”
I grew up on a family farm in small town USA, Indiana, raising crops & beef cattle. We ate good y’all. ALL the meat, potatoes, home-cooked baked goods, fried spam & bologna. ALL the down home country sh*t.
I am the oldest of 3. I have 2 younger brothers, both “skinny” growing up, I was always the “fat” one. There was a reason I played catcher in softball & threw shot put in track. You wouldn’t think it lookin at my 5’1, 105lb frame today at 40 years old.
Current me 🙂
I remember crumpling the package of cookies under my bed, hiding it in shame. I curled up in pain, stomach so full & nauseous from all the sugar. At that time I willed myself not to throw up. I was swollen, sick, ashamed, & unaware of the drug addiction that had only just begun.
“What have I done? What would my parents say or anyone else if they ever found out?” I thought.
Huge transformations mentally & physically thru my 40 years!
Then the binging & purging began as I got older.
I discovered I could make myself throw up & “undo” what I had done. I could workout more. I could restrict more so I could enjoy my binges more & eat MORE.
F*cked up, right?!
The thing is the “monster” inside of you doesn’t see it that way.
It’s like you have two personalities like an angel and devil on your shoulders fighting for your attention.
Things I used to tell myself, “This must be what all the skinny & popular girls do at school, right?! Because I have to look like them to be loved by all the boys & be successful. I’m just not trying hard enough. Push harder. Oh, you gained 2lbs, great job, Katie, no food for you for 2 days.”
Sound familiar?
As painful as it is reliving these nightmares, I’m writing this for YOU.
I know I’m not alone and I want you to know that someone else gets it.
I know what it feels like to be so full you’re sick, but you can’t stop eating.
I know what it feels like to be lying on the floor with a sore throat, reflux, & puffy eyes telling yourself, “This is the last time” & also knowing you’re full of bullsh*t.
I know what it feels like to feel like you’re not even in your body when a binge is happening. The sugary taste of all the foods you’ve denied yourself & deemed “bad” are orgasmic, the high of knowing what you’re about to do is exhilarating & shameful at the same time. The feeling of letting food control you & sabotage every relationship & facet of your life.
I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. Suffering with gut issues and not knowing what to eat because everything makes you bloated, constipated, & miserable to the point you’re a shell of yourself.
I know what it feels like to live in an abusive relationship with yourself and others, seeking validation through outside sources like relationships, controlling your body, excessive drinking, and overspending to the point you’re over $40,000 in debt. You feel like you’re drowning in a cesspool of your own creation.
The scary thing was I thought I was fit & healthy in the left photo, but I remember what hell I was putting my body thru trying to chase a constant smaller version of myself. I still thought I was fat. Thank God for CrossFit, it made me realize what I was doing was wrong & I needed to eat MORE! Strong not Skinny 🙂
Binging became something I did regularly, pushing the boundaries of “full” further & further.
My memories of elementary & middle school are saturated with the fact that I was fatter than all of my friends.
I had a friend jokingly poke my waist & make a joke about “pinching an inch.” My classmates ridiculed me & called me heifer & lamb chop because I had frizzy curly hair, full cheeks, was a farm kid, & bigger than everyone else.
It became a recurring nightmare until my first bad break up in high school.
I was so emotionally distraught I just quit eating. I lost 15lbs in a matter of 3 weeks before school started.
I didn’t even have the energy to show my calves at the Indiana State Fair. I did, but I thought I was gonna pass out.
Rub some dirt in it right?! Suck it up. Farm kids were raised to be tough. We weren’t allowed to give excuses.
I remember my mom telling me she was gonna put me in the hospital if I didn’t eat.
Guess what happened when I went back to school 15lbs lighter?
All the kids magically loved me.
I was thinner, I was praised for my weight loss & finally got attention!
BOOM!
That moment right there was the pivotal moment I believed in order to be loved, successful, & worthy, I needed to be as thin as possible.
“Bare bones, b*tch, that’s our goal. Don’t f*ck this up.” That’s what I told myself.
At 40 I finally feel whole, happy, & peaceful with my being.
I’m grateful for a meat-based & “carnivore” way of eating. It broke my addiction & healed me in ways physically & mentally I never thought could be mended.
I’m not writing this for pity or attention, I’m writing this for YOU. The ones still stuck in this cycle looking for magic & quick fixes.
Fall in love with your journey & slow down, it’s a long one but well worth the work & effort & patience. YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are worthy just because you exist. And you are fabulous at whatever weight & size you are your healthiest.
Love the skin you’re in, it’s the only home you have forever!
Book to be continued 😉
Things that helped me break my binge eating
They may seem small, but these lil tips make a huge impact on your healing. No need for perfection here, but it does take making & KEEPING commitments to yourself.
I think I can speak for all of us who struggled or are currently struggling with 50 shades of a fuxked up relationship with food & exercise.
Like I spoke about earlier, I chased bare bones, wore restriction like a badge, & was abusing carbs like a drug (let alone with my Crohn’s, my body couldn’t digest & utilize carbs & fiber like a normal human being. I was in agony).
The disordered eating & carbs, they’re like a high for us, like a drink to an alcoholic, or a high like that first kiss from that boy you’ve loved for so long.
Some signs of a disordered relationship w/food & exercise:
Refusing to eat foods you love due to fear of weight gain.
Avoiding social situations, anxiety.
Compensating by “working food off,” “earning”, or using food as a “treat/reward.”
Obsessing about food, tracking, exercise.
Addiction to specific foods.
Not being able to moderate specific foods like carbs, sugar, hyperpalatable & caloric foods like bacon, cheese, high fat meats, etc.
Letting the weight on your scale or missing a work out ruin your day.
Obsessive body checking in the mirror.
Constantly seeking validation from things &/or others.
Falling into the restrict, binge, self hate cycle. Yo-yo dieting.
There’s so many more but the above were biggies for me.
Tips that helped me:
Find your triggers (food, stress, emotional situations, comparing, etc) write them down & journal or talk to yourself about why you react to them the way you do. You have to gain self-awareness.
Eat regularly & eat enough for your goals & activity. Binging comes from overly restricting. It’s your body’s survival mechanism. It affects you physiologically & psychologically.
Eat larger meals with plenty of protein & healthy fats. Carbs & highly palatable, calorically dense foods seem to be a big trigger for most people.
Determine if you are an abstainer or a moderator. Abstainer’s typically do better with food rules, also get the trigger foods out of your house.
Eat with friends & family. STAY BUSY to avoid emotional eating or boredom eating. Get out of the house, WALK, clean, call someone, read, watch a movie, color.
Eat mindfully, chew your food, slow down, portion food on a plate, avoid tracking & weighing yourself if those are triggers.
On the other hand, tracking & weighing can also help some of us that have lost our true hunger & satiety cues. Often we can’t physically tell when we’re full, so tracking will give us the data for us to make decisions about proper portion sizing.
Wear comfortable clothes & stop body checking in the mirror. Get new clothes that fit & are flattering. You wear your clothes, they don’t wear you! Stop keeping smaller items in hopes you’ll fit into them again. I find it just causes more disordered behavior & thinking.
Strive to be self aware rather than judgmental. You are simply on a fact-finding mission to uncover patterns of feelings & behavior so you can work to change them.
Journal! I cannot tell you how many epiphanies I have had while journaling about food. You don’t have to sit and write out a lengthy entry, brain dump. I’ll just make a list of what I’m feeling & thinking, not worrying about how it sounds or if I use proper sentences or grammar. It releases emotional weight. Use the prompt, “What is the feeling I am trying not to feel?”
Remove your food triggers & get on a meal plan that works for you. For me, this was the carnivore diet. I have an addiction to carbs. I also do not digest them well, causing physical harm. I cannot stress enough how important it is to eat enough food for proper body function & activity. You should be eating at your maintenance caloric levels the majority of the time. We shouldn’t be chronically dieting. It will really help cut down on overeating & binging & help you relearn portioning & true hunger/fullness cues.
Opt out of others’ ideas of health, beauty, & diet culture. Cut the toxicity out of your life & monitor what you consume. This means relationships, social media, your environment, what you read & watch – it’s not simply just food. I remind myself:
One, there are things that are easy for me that are difficult for other people.
Two, people generally share successes & highlights, but not the effort or failed attempts that lead up to them.
Three, I am making progress doing what works for me.
Start prioritizing sleep! We NEED sleep, 7-9 hrs/night. It not only affects you cognitively, but physically. When we don’t get enough sleep, it throws off our hunger & satiety hormones, leptin & ghrelin, making us hungrier & typically crave carbs, sugar, & high fat foods. Getting enough sleep is as important as diet & exercise in fat loss. People who get enough sleep not only physically are healthier but also cognitively make better choices.
If you do binge or overeat, focus on moving forward. One of the single biggest things (other than the carnivore diet) that helped me was not responding to a binge by restricting the next day. Go back to your normal meal schedule, otherwise, you’re stuck in the restrict & binge cycle AGAIN.
My Crispy Airfryer Meat Bars are LIFE! I have an Instant Vortex 6qt airfryer from Target, also on Amazon- Link in IG Bio under Amazon Favorites. I cook about 1-2 lbs of meat at a time, usually 85-90% ground beef & Perdue Ground Chicken, Airfry, 380, 12 minutes!
Seek therapy &/or help from a coach or practitioner. I have a lot of difficult conversations with my therapist. When it comes to conflict & relationships, I’m an avoider. I hate talking about difficult topics, I hate conflict, I feel angry & anxious when I do. But the way to get rid of a monster’s power is to shine the flashlight in the closet and see it for what it is. Talking about a negative thing gets rid of any power it has over you. A surprising thing about therapy is that every time I tell my therapist something I’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone before, she tells me how normal it is & how it’s in a cause & effect relationship with other things in my life & absolutely can choose again. Amen, right?!
Keep a compliment journal, write affirmations on post-its & put them on your bathroom mirror, write out positive intentions in your scheduler everyday, list things you’re grateful for every morning. I even save a board of inspiration on Pinterest when I’m feeling low vibe. I always feel better after reading through!
Be compassionate with yourself when you’re not perfect. Recovery is not linear. Think about how you’re feeling & how to redirect instead of punishing yourself for feeling & thinking certain things. Its like punishing & rewarding yourself with food & exercise. Food is fuel, not a reward. Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do, not punishment. Another reason I loather the word & use of “cheat day.” You’re only cheating yourself.
If you’re hungry, eat, if you’re not, don’t. We do not need to over complicate things. There is also no one-size-fits-all to anything in life, especially food & fitness. You don’t have to choose a specific diet camp, fitness modality, fasting regimen, etc. Do what feels good & authentic to YOU!
Listen, I have “Crossfit boobs.” Aka card toting member of the #ittybittycommittee to all my newbies round here…confessions of another dirty bathroom photo + Pete 🐈⬛
I am 55lbs lighter now than my heaviest weight. I’m 5’1… snack sized, fun sized, been called a spinner before 💁🏼♀️whatever you wanna call it 😂
Our bodies change hourly sometimes.
I do not have flat abs by the end of the day typically. Y’all it’s called food & we gotta eat. You didn’t get “fat” in that hour, you just ate & lived.
The majority of the time I haven’t washed my hair in a week (I really do only wash it once a week) & I’m standing here in my @jcpenney underwear & @kincaidsmeatmarket in Fishers
I’m lucky to wash my face at night because I’m lazy af & work 60 hrs a week. I need to do better on this account 😂 🧼 Dirtball status x10
Being a sustainable lifestyle lean, eating food ya love, having a supportive community & relationships you love, movin your body & doing workouts you love, havin purpose, fulfillment, & happiness are so much sweeter than any piece of cake or savory piece of bacon or any shredded ab or muscle striation I could ever have.
I’m telling you this because I know there are a lot of you in the same spot I was. Still self sabotaging on the weekends.
I spent decades fighting against my body’s needs. Chronically dieting, eating food that triggered tons of physical & emotional problems, getting nowhere. Nowhere but pissed off until I learned about food, owned what diet & fitness I wanted to do, how to periodize my nutrition properly, & the fact I actually needed to EAT.
In all reality it took me a decade to build the body that you see in front of you.
It’s really simple now guys I just eat meat because I love it & it makes me feel good. And I eat a lot of it. At least 2lbs a day. Some days that I’m really hungry I can smash 3lbs & I’m 105lbs. You can eat & eat well.
THINGS YOU LOSE CHRONICALLY WORRYING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT:
🦄Your vibrance
🦄Your joy
🦄Your clarity
🦄Your flexibility
🦄Your mind
🦄Your relationships
🦄Your energy
🦄Your life
Remember, the diet you follow doesn’t matter. Your ability to adhere to that diet protocol does. Your body’s metabolic state & ability to appropriately adjust to that diet does.
Here’s your reminder: Don’t spend your life fighting against yourself. You have so much more to offer the world than worrying about what someone else thinks of you.
If you gained weight doing things to regain your health, you needed to gain that weight.
I’m talking about that reverse dieting, more rest, stopping the excessive working out, stopping the constant restriction & scarcity mentality, eating more fat, for some it may mean eating more carbs, maybe it means you stopped isolating yourself & started living again, etc. You can’t live a full life on a chronically empty tank (mentally, physically, emotionally, & spiritually).
You keep diet & program hopping – basically just “winging” &/or over complicating sh*t.
You don’t stay consistent with anything. You think you always have to do what someone else is doing. You allow yourself to get lost in all the info & lose sense of what YOU really need/like to do. You choose unrealistic goals, quick fixes & extremes. You choose a plan yet never prepare or follow through which leads you to continual self sabotage & poor choices. You refuse to track food & activity, therefore, really have no idea what you’re consuming. What gets tracked gets managed. You don’t need to overcomplicate things like meal prep, simple movement, & the basics. Keep it simple & routine: get 10k steps a day, eat nourishing real food, sleep, manage a positive environment & mindset.
You haven’t dealt with your relationship with food, exercise, & body image.
This a biggie y’all. You have to “diet” & LIVE from the inside out. Your relationship with self/food/exercise, your mindset, the energy you put off – ARE EVERYTHING. Thoughts become things & you attract the energy you put out. It doesn’t matter what diet, macros, training program, coach/trainer/practitioner you hire, they won’t work unless you do. The most important work is the inner work. “You must be willing to do the things today others won’t do, in order to have the things tomorrow others won’t have.” Les Brown
You’ve set unrealistic, unsustainable goals you can’t adhere to.
Are you comparing & constantly trying to look like some else who’s life, background, history, health, preferences, etc are NOTHING like yours? Cliché but true – comparison is the thief of joy and we were meant to live this life with JOY. If you have a poor relationship with carbs & they cause negative mental & physical effects, why are you eating them? If you hate meat, why are you trying keto & carnivore? If you hate weightlifting, why are you trying to look like a bodybuilder? If you hate veggies, why are you vegan? If your life is stressed to the titties, why are you trying to diet?
You haven’t taken enough time to heal, educate yourself on how your body works, or gain self awareness for a successful diet.
I used to be a chronic dieter & eating the wrong foods for my specific needs. My body composition reflected that too. I was skinny fat, inflamed, binge eating, performance & recovery sucked – life basically sucked. Learning about your body & how it works & WHY you need to eat & train a certain way will change your life. You should be eating in maintenance the majority of the year, not diet more than 1-2x/yr no longer than 12-16 wks. Most active females, athletes, & avid exercisers should be consuming around 1800-2100+ calories/d for maintenance. You have to BUILD the body first to reveal the physique you want when you lose the body fat. That takes food, rest, & strength training.
You refuse to give up your weekend warrior ways & get real with food consumption & activity.
Just because you didn’t log your food doesn’t mean you didn’t just down a whole pizza, bag of chips, 6 cocktails, or whatever your poison. Same with your steps & workouts, if you didn’t get it in, that falls on you – no one else. Restricting all week & blowing it every weekend is also biting y’all in the tush. Hit your protein & eat enough calories for your health & goals consistently. Get a fitness tracker & track your steps. They are the biggest impact on calories burned throughout the day. If you have gut issues or special dietary needs, own that too. Stop going out & allowing other people or situations to control what you put in your body. You can totally enjoy being social, you simply need to set & stick with healthy boundaries you set for yourself.
You’ve struggled with disordered eating & can’t “feel” true hunger/satiety cues. Not everyone can intuitively eat if you’ve lost you’re intuition.
This one – HUGE. HUGE reason I cringe when I hear people say “Just eat intuitively” or “Just eat as much meat as you want on Carnivore.” Quantity matters. You should be able to distinguish between true physical hunger & emotional hunger/habits. Some of us have lost this ability because of chronic dieting. Your meals should be large enough to keep you full for 3-4+ hrs, & they should be protein centric. You should not be snacking in between meals. Most of us should be eating 30-50g of Protein/meal. We numb emotions with food, we eat too fast, we eat our kids food, we eat in front of the tv, we wire our brains to think these sabotaging habits are normal. You can choose to change those habits & re-write your story.
You’re ignoring your toxic environment.
What you consume, consumes you and what consumes you, controls your life. Our consumption is not only what we eat & drink but also what we watch, listen to, media we consume & environment. If you want to change, become a better version of yourself, become healthier or more successful, you have to change your behaviors & consumptions. Listen to a podcast, motivational speakers, surround yourself with successful, positive minded people – create yourself a new environment. That might mean to break up friendships or a relationship. For me it means constantly learning/changing in order to become a better version of myself.
You’re simply not disciplined enough. It is what it is – you either do or you don’t.
Like Andy Frisella says, ‘Don’t listen to your b*tch voice.” There’s nothing worse than rolling through life in the passenger’s seat. You wake up, go to work, & drift through each day with no direction or driving force. It’s about keeping commitments to yourself & mental toughness. If dieting & obtaining the physique & level of health you desire was an easy task, everyone would do it & be happy. I don’t know about you, but I would rather be a DOer. Goals don’t mean sh*t unless you ACT. Just like knowledge isn’t power unless there’s application. We were made to be ACTIVE participants in life.
I saw a woman running yesterday. She was red faced, sweating, & workin it! #transformationtuesday
I talk about avoiding labels for a reason. When most people think of a runner, or weightlifter, or whatever “athlete” you choose, you automatically think of a specific body type right?
Someone long, lean, & muscular.
This woman didn’t fit that description at all.
I loathe the word “fat”, because in my opinion,
Rude.
It’s a label & stereotypes someone as being unfit or unhealthy when that may not be the case at all. You don’t know their story.
I find all bodies beautiful, especially voluptuous ones. I smile whenever I see someone working out, especially young kids, the elderly, and someone who doesn’t fit the stereo typical profile of an “avid exerciser” & it motivates me.
I’ve shared my journey with y’all many times. I’ve told you that in high school I was told I was too big to be a cheerleader or an athlete. Truly I couldn’t even run around a track once without seeing stars & wanting to pass out. Before CrossFit I had never touched a barbell nor could I do one pull up to save my life.
Fitness, running, health, weight lifting, & fat loss were not things I was genetically gifted or came easily or naturally to me.
It’s something I still have to continue to work at. The difference is I have made it a part of who I am, I choose consistency over excuses, & I’ve learned to love my journey & all the seasons, shapes, sizes, & puzzle pieces that come with.
So a reminder & message to you, that it abso-f*ckin-lutely doesn’t matter how much you weigh, how small or big you are, what diet you choose, whether you eat meat or not, what your story is/has been — fitness & health don’t have a size or requirement.
It all starts with a choice to be your best self.
I’m motivated by anyone who gets up & moves. It doesn’t matter their skill & it sure as sh*t doesn’t matter their size.
I’m most inspired by those who are just starting out in their fitness journey because I know exactly what it’s like to start from scratch & have no fuggin idea what you’re doin or worried about what people think of you.
I’m not the fastest runner, I’m not the fittest or strongest person, I have cellulite & stretch marks on my thighs, BUT I am strong, I am dedicated, & I love this body that keeps me alive.
So to the woman I saw running, thank you. You’ve inspired me & millions of other humans in the world in more ways than one.
Because you are the human that chooses to be better & proves beauty & fitness comes in all shapes & sizes.
What I do & look like now really doesn’t mean jack or offer you as much value than the story that got me here today.
I can give you all the advice on what I practice & preach daily, but you can’t replace life experience, feeling emotions, & putting in the work.
I don’t know everything & I’m not an expert. But I have lived similar struggles just like all of you & I know what it feels like to sit in a shxt pool of self loathing.
🖤I was the fat girl. Kids were mean.
🖤In the 6th grade I was told I was too big to be a cheerleader.
🖤This one’s for the 14 yr old me that thought rice cakes & sugar free jello were meals & restriction was the only way to be thin & thus loved.
🖤This one’s for the 16 yr old me that thought skinny & having a boyfriend was all she needed for happiness & worth.
🖤This one’s for the 18 yr old me that beat herself up for gaining 20lbs in college bc she made memories w/friends.
🖤This one’s for the 20 yr old me that binged & purged & let food consume her every thought because she wasn’t as pretty or skinny as other sorority girls.
🖤This one’s for the 22 yr old me that got married too young, was a people pleaser, & turned to drinking to numb the feelings.
🖤This one’s for the 28yr old me, divorced, lost, partying, gut issues, & starving bc her body was the only thing she thought she could control.
🖤This one’s for the 32 yr old me that discovered Crossfit & fell in love with being strong, but let PR’s & comparison lead her to overtraining & completely fxckin up her hormones & gut for yrs.
🖤This one’s for the 36 yr old me struggling to figure out how to date & live in a world as an athlete with Crohn’s & special needs.
🖤This one’s for the 38 yr old me that continues to grow & evolve in a life that constantly changes.
For all the humans who scroll, comparing when they see a beautiful photo, know there’s a story & a lifetime of struggle there too.
What we do now is not a reflection of livin a perfect picture life, it’s a reflection of a lifetime of scars which are far from picture perfect —we should wear them proudly.
There is HOPE💓
Link HERE if you need a consultation & pep talk to get back on the right health journey for you🙏
I’ve always hated my back. Rarely ever take back progress pictures. I feel partly because I don’t want to give a reason for negative thoughts to creep in & pick myself apart when I know I have to love myself for the sum of who I am in my entirety.
There’s 5 months & 11lbs between these pictures. I love this woman & her season in both pictures. The left is now, the right was on family vacation in October.
Things I used to loathe:
My scoliosis – it throws my hips off. My body is not symmetrical, I squat lopsided.
My left boob is bigger than my right & neither boob is as big as I would like. Hey there’s at least a handful, I’ve been told that’s all you need right?! 😂
My elbows don’t straighten. I can’t fully lock out in any lift which limits my abilities. My CrossFit coaches used to yell at me, not knowing it was a defect.
I have stretch marks & cellulite from gaining & losing 50 lbs over my lifetime. I always wanted slender legs, it’s just not the way I’m built. But my ham hocks are strong.
I have a red sun spot on my nose I have to cover from getting burned as a child on vacation & bailing hay on our farm.
I chew on the inside of my lip, still don’t know why.
From being the girl who refused to take the T-shirt off at the beach or pool to the woman now brave enough to show the canvas God gave her — hats off to you sis.
Wanted to remind y’all you can’t hate yourself happy, skinny, strong, successful, worthy, or LOVED.
Stop putting new energy in old containers.
@jamesclear said, “The events of your past are fixed. The meaning of your past is not. The influence of every experience is determined by the meaning you assign to it. Assign a more useful meaning to your past & it becomes easier to take a more useful action in the present.”
I put a Post-it on this mirror of a reminder I saw yesterday: “This Chapter of my life is called: now that I know better, I must do better.”
Have a beautiful bootylicious weekend y’all! ❤️🍑🦾 I’d love to chat with y’all on the gram, never hesitate to reach out!
People are gonna tell you you CAN’T do a lot of things. They’re gonna tell you THEIR way is better than YOUR way…
You’ve asked great carnivore questions over the weekend. I’ll summarize for those I haven’t had the pleasure to chat with & tell you some things you may not want to hear…
▫️I don’t ‘treat myself.’ My view of food has changed since going animal based. I “treat” myself everyday, enjoy every bite & it all serves a purpose — nourishment & fuel. Food is not a reward/something to earn.
▫️You must experiment with different meats/food/fats, eating/fasting windows, meal sizes/freq, tracking macros vs not, & macro ratios. Your experience will be different than mine. It takes TIME. It took me an entire year to fully adapt &, yes, I gained 15lbs initially.
Common Q&A’s:
⇢ Majority of my meals are 85% ground beef, ground chicken, & salmon. Avg 2lbs of meat/d, 2-2 1/2 meals/d. Yes I drink coffee. Ground meat is easier to digest & track. I removed pork & dairy, I found I don’t digest’em well. I only consume them on occasion in small quantities.
⇢ I stick to beef bc it’s satisfying & delicious but not SO delicious I want to over eat. For those who struggle with food addiction, like me, find foods that are satisfying & get the job done without triggering over eating or bingeing. We typically do better with food rules, we are abstainers. (Food addicts tend to have issues controlling carbs, sugar, sugar free substitutes, keto treats, dairy, butter, cheese, bacon, pork rinds, hyper palatable & processed meats)
⇢ I track macros loosely. It keeps me accountable & I know where to adjust. Rice cakes/white rice on occasion post workout or in the evening if I need them, portioned carefully, rarely above 50g/day.
⇢ YES, you can CrossFit & carnivore, CAREFULLY. Comes down to allowing yourself to fully adapt to being fat-fueled, meal timing, eating ample calories, & RECOVERY (sleep, rest days, deloads) Macros 10% C – 30% P – 60% F for ME**
⇢ Sleep is a MUST. 7 hrs min. Zzyquil helps. It is what it is, I’m transparent here.
⇢ Still hit 13-15k steps/day, even on rest days, drinkin a ton of water + electrolytes, reduce alcohol, fasting when I’m not hungry (~18hrs avg), eating when I am. No extended fasts, no snacking.
It’s taken me 38 yrs to understand where my body is at mentally & physically.
And I’ll have to keep figuring it out every day for the rest of my life.
Have patience. Take care of your body it’s the only forever home you have♥️🏠
Today’s act of bravery came in the form of addressing a common occurrence in the social stratosphere: attention whore, cheap, trashy, “they only like you for your looks,” disgusting, [insert hate message]…these are just a few hateful things I’ve been told on social media.
I feel I can speak for most of us that share our lives & body journeys with y’all, we could give a f@$k less what the haters think. And we would also be lying if we said it didn’t sting a lil bit too.
I had a client tell me yesterday she was really proud of her body progress. She wanted to show it but felt shame when she thought about it because of what other people would think.
I felt for her — that pit in your stomach when you think about something you’re afraid you’ll be judged for. But then you also feel guilty that exact thing lights you up & you know you’re stifling yourself.
Listen, I’ve have had plenty of hater-aid thrown my way from people, criticizing me for being open about my body & details of my life.
Firstly, Karen, (Poor Karen she’s always getting picked on 😂), we know you’re projecting your own issues upon us & that it really has nothing to do with us or our actions.
We’re not just bodies, we’re not just faces, we’re not just what we look like. We live & love in leggins, scrubs, uniforms, business attire, & everything in between & are much more than our physical appearance.
Secondly, most of us don’t post pictures for attention or anyone’s approval. We work hard for what we have & are proud of what we’ve created & overcome.
Designers show off their creations, they don’t hide in shame. So why should it be any different for us?
Our goal is to motivate, support, encourage, & guide others to be the best versions of themselves.
You don’t need permission or to be pretty or look like anyone else.
Repeat after me & drop a ❤️👇🏻, “I don’t need to be pretty like her, I just need to be pretty like me.”
If there’s one thing I want you guys to focus on before starting this new week it’s cultivating a better relationship with yourself. Body image issues can stunt & affect any kind of progress or growth in every facet of your life. I can tell you after losing almost 50lbs over my 38 yrs on this earth, the weight loss doesn’t magically make you love yourself more or fix any problems. 10 Ways To Improve Body Image Issues Source: Myself & The National Eating Disorder Awareness 1️⃣ Stop comparing yourself to others. Love & appreciate your body for what it is & what it is becoming as you live a healthier life. 2️⃣ Remember that beauty is not just about appearance. 3️⃣ Question the media & things you consume. Especially social media. Most of what you see is photo shopped & the highlight reels. 4️⃣ Dress in clothes that make you feel your best! Wear literally whatever the hell you want. You wear your clothes they don’t wear you. 5️⃣ When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. You are a beautiful sum of all your imperfections. 6️⃣ LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. What do you NEED? A walk? Yoga? A bath?! Listening help so much! 7️⃣ Use the time and energy you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others. Sometimes helping out other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world. 8️⃣ Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person. 9️⃣ “I am” affirmations! Say them, write them, believe them! 🔟 Don’t rely on others for confidence boosts! Your worth comes from within. Also, seek help. Therapy does wonders❤️
