Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
They just rile me up. It means I have to choose something & release something else.
I realize now it gives me anxiety because I fear making the wrong choice & somehow that makes me a bad person. A failure. An imposter. Which are 2 of my worst fears.
How about guys? You feel this way too?
I feel if I make a ‘bad’ decision, I’m not achieving, I’m not people pleasing, & that makes me less worthy somehow.
I realized it was paralyzing me & there are no wrong decisions — only an experience.
That doesn’t make me a bad person that makes me human. I focused too much on the end product & not on the love of the journey & process.
This was applicable to my love life, my relationship with food & body image, career goals — you name it.
Also, let me remind you, nothing is irreversible. Picture the worst case outcome. Trust me, you’ll be fine.
Dr. Joe Dispenza preaches the POWER is in the present, becoming unattached to outcomes.
We can’t worry about the past, it doesn’t need us anymore. Learn the lessons.
Now, 2nd guessing.
This shows up in the smallest ways.
✅Ex: I choose the hamburger but 2nd guess myself when your wings come out.
✅Ex: I choose to go to CrossFit but Karen down the road went for a 5 mile run. Maybe I should’ve done that.
✅Ex: I chose Partner A because he feels comfortable & safe but I truly want Partner B but somehow don’t feel good enough for partner B.
✅Ex: I chose job 1 bc it gives me freedom. But I really need job 2 bc it’s stable yet I’m afraid of commitment.
Am I the biggest fxck up in the world because I did so? No.
So here’s what I want to reiterate, decisions are crossroads. You’re not less worthy because you make a decision that didn’t turn out.
You’re not indecisive or savage or weak or broken or stupid or whatever you tell yourself.
It’s simply your baggage being pulled out of your bag.
So sit yo 🍑on the floor & unpack your baggage — it’s not gonna unpack itself.
And I’ll be sittn on the floor, with a cocktail or coffee, unpacking my shxt with you. ❤️🥃☕️
One change that will massively impact every facet of your life — find your magic time.
Everyone has a time a day where they are 10x more effective at the GSD than the rest of the day. FIND IT.
Most successful people have a refined early morning routine, habits, & thus, successful SYSTEM that ensures optimization.
Every day is a new day to make a different decision. No regrets. Learn from past decisions & choose to not stay there.
The past doesn’t need you & the future hasn’t happened yet, it hinges on your present 🎁
“You are where you are because of your choices. There is nothing to gain by regretting. Review your decisions for lessons and make a new decision to change.” @realcraigballantyne
I still shower with a shower cap. Not washing my hair is a sport I have mastered.
Pete can attest.
He sits on the side of the tub in between my shower curtains. Can’t get a moment alone I tell ya. Moms, ya feel me?! 🤚
One my favorite pics of Pete. RBF on fleek. Fun fact: I rescued Pete from Pet Smart over 2 years ago when I got my new apartment. I bought a bottle of Crown Royal & a cat, it was Valentines Day. LOL!
I’m not afraid to admit, however, there’s a lot of things I have not mastered.
“So what’s your 5 year plan?” Me — instant anxiety.
To be quite honest I can’t even tell you what I’m doing next weekend.
I mean, I can give you a generalization but I know as an emotional human being my wants & needs are going to change.
I’m a manifesting generator energy type ( human design ), it is what it is. I’ve learned to design my life around it, figured out how I’m wired, & I have manifested so much more abundance into my life since doing so.
I understand most of you, unless you fly your “woo flag” like me, have no idea what Human Design is or what that means — Google it. Links above! You’ll thank me later.
I had a phenomenal question by an instagram follower yesterday, which served as the inspiration behind this blog. I felt it was something everyone could use in their life.
I’ll summarize, she asked, “How do I effectively communicate to get what I want?”
I asked myself on numerous occasions over the years how in the hxll some people get whatever they want?
Let me paint a picture what my life used to be before halfway figuring this shxt out…
I too have been that human who: – was living in the cheapest apartment in Anderson, IN & had to listen to the people downstairs physically beating each other & arguing every night – was going through a divorce feeling like failure & confused about identity – had my car repoed, $40,000+ in debt, $5 to my name, basically living out of my office & car, eating at hotels to save money on food – was sick, struggling with Crohns, disordered eating & orthorexia feeling powerless & ugly – was comparing wanting to be someone else, coveting their life &/or body thinking that would make me successful & happy – was thinking being single meant there was something wrong with me & I needed to settle & find a partner fast to actually be worthy instead of realizing I needed to work on myself & be the person I wanted to be with first – was getting involved in relationships, jobs, social plans when I felt resistance & ignoring my intuition, excessive drinking, overspending, giving my body to people who didn’t deserve it
So what did I do?
I knew I had to learn, hustle, believe in myself, be relentless in the pursuit of betterment, be resilient, & learn how to communicate with people to get what I want.
I made a list of the things I would need to do & the person I would need to embody to achieve these things. Areas: Health, Wealth, Self, & Relationships. These are my life pillars.
⁃ The BODY(Health) — healing, health, rest, eating ENOUGH, working out because I love my body, vibrancy, food & body freedom, self love
⁃ The CAREER(Wealth) — freedom, loving what I do, making an impact, following purpose not a paycheck
⁃ The RELATIONSHIP (Relationships) — doing the inner work, believing in myself worth, getting rid of preconditions I learned over time, self awareness of my shadows and triggers, being the person I would want to be with
⁃ The MINDSET (Self) — telling myself I’m a survivor, a thriver, I lead with my heart & I deserve everything I desire so I can serve others & myself to the highest degree. I deserve QUALITY and refuse to discount myself any longer.
Steps to get anything you want:
1.) You have to make a decision & get clarity on what you want (even if you don’t know how to get it). Find out what kind of manifestor you are. Here’s a great article on Specific vs Non Specific Manifestors. If you’re a specific manifestor, use detailed decisive statements like, “I want a partner by my 30th birthday” or “I want to lose 20lbs in 3 months.”
If you’re a non specific manifestor, like me, we prefer open generalities about how we want to FEEL. My favorite affirmation, “I accept and am open to receive whatever is meant for my highest alignment or better.”
2.) Detach from the “How” & desired outcome. Not knowing how something will come to fruition holds a lot of people back. Two things: divine timing & the Universe always has your back. Throw worry out the window. You have to take emotion out of it & be grateful no matter what happens.
3.) Visualize and BELIEVE in the desired outcome. Focus on how you feel with that thing you want. It’s like how athletes visualize perfect performance that leads to a win.
4.) Gratitude. Do you you look at your struggles as opportunities to grow or road blocks holding you back? When you practice being grateful for everything in your life no matter how small, you’re ability to manifest & get you want accelerates. Getting what we want from others comes down to two things, awareness & communication. Being a good communicator opens the doors to so much abundance & opportunity in your life. It’s applicable in every facet of your life. Whether you’re a: ️- Mom or dad raising children – Entrepreneur growing a venture – Businessman or woman trying to make a sale – Coach working with athletes or clients – Boss or coworker or part of a team, community, or organization Awareness is being aware of the emotions, energy, & humanness of people & yourself. Communication is being a good conversationalist & making someone feel seen, heard, understood, supported, & significant. We live in a world of instant gratification, texts, swipes, & sliding into those DM’s. Having a meaningful conversation & connecting with a person is truly an art. I made an IG tv video on this very subject a few years ago. Check it out here on the gram!
Click image for link to full video on Instagram
I talk about being a good question asker, the difference between a shift & support response, & being an empath vs empathetic. If you learn how to understand & communicate with people (including yourself), you will learn how to get that easy button a lot quicker & get what you (and they) want!
Grateful I got to dress pretty & wear “real clothes” last night. Stitch Fix saves my life. I look forward to their deliveries. I only pay for I keep, can schedule deliveries whenever I want, & cancel at any time.
Obsessed with this soft and savy SKIES ARE BLUE Hannah Modal Scuba Blazer Size: XS
I get anxiety when I go shopping because I know I’m an impulse buyer. This actually helps me save a ton of money & dress well. (which in turn makes me feel good & brings more abundance into my life, another tip 😉)
Just like I should’ve bought an air fryer years ago♨️❤️ 😂
Here’s mine! On Amazon Fav list too! Click Image
A few quotes I love & reminders for you today:
“Beware of destination addiction. A preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.” – Robert Holden
“Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside of you.” – unknown
“Don’t wait for things to get easier, simple, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you’ll run out of time.” – unknown
Let me see all the hands of the pros out there in the art of self sabotage like me!🙋🏼♀️
Introvert by nature, going after what I really wanted & the thought of being seen terrified me.
The fear of being wrong, judged, & accepted.
It transferred into me self sabotaging, resentment, playing small (literally & figuratively), & chasing a smaller version of myself the majority of my life.
If there was a pro league — I would be a member. 🥇
If you’re looking for clarity or understanding, the best thing I’ve found for me is to look at the pillars of my life.
I uncover the triggers, resentment, & blocks holding me back. Instead of making myself feel guilty I’ll use them as anchors for learning more about myself & how I choose to re write my story.
These are the areas you can improve to bring more of that good juju & alignment back into your front door of life.
Yeah, sometimes they’re icky & gross & hurt like a you know what but they’re necessary.
Now — the resentment. Resentment is a sign YOU didn’t honor YOUR boundaries.
In the past before I was self aware of the personal shxt storm I created for myself, I blamed this resentment on the other person or party or situation. When in fact, I was really the fire starter.
Now, when I start to feel resentment & triggered more often by comments &/or behaviors of others — they are a product of me not speaking up for myself & allowing others to cross boundaries I should have set clearly.
These are all things I coach you through as a health coaching client. Wellness encompasses all – body, mind, spirit.
How successful people understand & utilize emotions.
For the past several years I’ve been paying more attention to my emotions & how they affect my life.
They’re fleeting. They change — often. And that’s okay, we’re human they’re supposed to.
I decided instead of letting them control & hinder, I wanted to learn how to harness my emotions to bring more positive things into my life, personally & professionally.
Don’t we all want to get what we want? — The body — The money — The relationships — The job
Happiness, right?
Things I learned that emotionally successful people do:
1. They acknowledge feelings. Emotionally successful people are able to identify emotions & understand how they influence behavior, thoughts, & conversations.
I noticed I could do this by observing — myself & others.
Anyone else out there love to people watch?
Reflect on those observations. What did you notice? Did more negative emotions bring upon more negativity? You’ve heard me say it before, thoughts become things. This is what I noticed. I noticed the more I focused on what I didn’t want the more I attracted those into my life.
Like weight gain or fatigue. Gut problems, health issues. Toxic people. Arguments. Debt.
2. They take time for stillness. Emotions change at the drop of a hat or word. They often result in impulsive decisions which lead to regret.
I realized when I paused and took the time to think about what and how I wanted to articulate something, the more clarity & positive impact I received.
I’ve also said this before, don’t promise/buy/decide things when you’re happy/sad/angry. 9 times out of 10 it will bite you in the a$$.
3. They keep commitments to themselves & others. There are a number of ways we measure a person’s worth or our own worth. They also can be the deciding factor of success or failure. Are you failing because you’re not keeping your commitments to yourself?
For example, you’re trying to improve your health & lose weight but instead of changing your eating habits & exercise, you give excuses instead.
Are your trying to improve your relationships? Are you putting in the work to improve those relationships or are you ignoring them? Same with you doing the inner work to heal whatever baggage is holding you back.
Words + action holdimmense power & emotion. Words are building blocks of your existence & they reflect the integrity of their creator. Since words hold power, it’s both important to speak words that hold positive intentions & be prepared to keep your word to others, as they’re a reflection of your intentions & integrity.
4. They make peace with what they can control, what they cannot, & their reactions. We can’t control other people & we can’t control our environment. We can create our realities just not completely control every variable. The one thing over which we can exert, & maintain control of, is ourself & the way we respond to every situation.
5. They learn & grow through mistakes. Be a forever student. We’re human. We’re gonna fxck up. Study, question, research. Success leaves clues. Learn from mentors, read, listen to podcasts, get a coach. One of my favorite apps is Blinkist. For my busy, GSD people – Blinkist condenses books into 10-15 short ‘blinks.’ Saves a ton of time rather than reading or listening to hours of a book.
6. They’re humble & kind. I don’t know many people that enjoy being around know it all’s & narcissists. There’s a fine line between confidence & arrogance. Value humility. It’s a strength not a weakness. Like my mom always told me, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
7. They practice & preach honesty, authenticity, & live by their values. Your word & integrity are everything – especially to yourself. Make a list of your values & how you’d like to live & what kind of person you’d like to embody. Base your decisions upon those.
A list of mine. I keep this in my daily scheduler. Update & change as needed — you’re meant to evolve <3
8. They seek first to understand before judging. Pause to listen, to understand. I promise it will lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships.
9. They’re able to apologize, communicate, compliment & deliver feedback effectively. Words have power. Give credit where credit is due. People are more likely to cooperate when they feel appreciated & understood. What’s a persons favorite word? — their name. Just a tip 😉
Remember & use people’s names, it makes a lasting impression.
“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie.
Reframe criticism as constructive feedback. People are more likely to view it as helpful instead of hurtful.
10. They master the power of letting go. Forgive & forget. Hanging on to resentment is like continuously pouring salt in a wound. There’s huge power in the art of letting go. Letting go of toxic people, habits, unnecessary things, social media, etc. Your environment is everything. Choose wisely.
11. They understand, set, & respect boundaries. Personal boundaries are important because they set the basic guidelines of how you want to be treated. Boundaries are basic guidelines that people create to establish how others are able to behave around them. Setting boundaries can ensure that relationships can be mutually respectful, appropriate, & meaningful.
Hopefully these tidbits I’ve learned help you change & leave your legacy, & as a result, positively change the world
