Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
The past couple years have felt really different, this year especially.
I told myself this year was my year. It was the year of “F*ck yeses only & no lateral moves because lateral moves don’t mean a level UP.”
My bff sent me a TikTok about cake vs icing. How we think icing is always the most important end goal & oftentimes we miss out on how good & more important the cake may be.
Both are important but it’s truly about dose & ratios & what’s appropriate for you at the moment.
It’s like wanting shredded abs (icing) but missing the more important goal of a healthy, happy, body you love (cake).
Or it can be like wanting partnership (cake) but truly wanting & deserving that partnership that sets your soul on fire (icing).
I wanted to remind y’all of something really important when it comes to any kind of relationship…& that can mean dating or partnerships, friendships, work-spouse relationship, parent-child, & that is this: I want to invite you to be the cake & to let everyone else in your life be the icing on the perfect cake that is you.
🤷♀️If you don’t like cake, that’s fine. Sub in pie🥧 💁🏼♀️Honestly, really, I’m more steak 🥩 than cake, but be the steak doesn’t have the same ring to it so here we go with be the cake 🍰
We often enter into relationships & make decisions from our codependent & people-pleasing habits with the desire for other people or bad habits to fill a gaping hole in our hearts & our lives.
You are the cake to end all cakes, everyone else is a delightful addition to your life, not the main attraction.
Commit to cakeful (or steakful) living. When you live in a space of freedom, self love, & empowerment, you allow yourself to be the icing for someone else.
Honor the people who are your icing 🧁 & the space where you are the cake 🍰 (or steak 🥩) 😉
We also talked about how the people who are comfortable being alone will never waste your time with dating games.
Zero bullshit. If they’re special, you’ll know & you’ll know you’re special too because they choose to spend time with you over their favorite person, themself.
Hi. It me 😆👋
I thoroughly enjoy straight forward people who take the lead & tell me exactly what they want. You always know where they stand.
People who have taken the time to be alone & be ok with it are basically interviewing you to replace ourself as our new best friend & we really don’t want to give up that position but we are also intrigued & hopeful that there is more out there❤️
It was a sobering & reflective conversation. “I wish I’d had the courage to simply love when it felt right & live a life true to myself & not the life others expected of me or worry about timelines.” Had a terminal patient tell me this years ago as I finished their CT. I now view heart as the currency of life. I look for people to add value & joy to my life. That’s it. I no longer complicate experiences by letting my ego, my past, & fear of the future taint my enjoyment of the present experience & relationships. 👆🏻That’s what I told a follower this mornin before crossfit. She said she had no idea really how to “do life” — relationships, career, or body. She said, “I don’t know what it’s like to look in the mirror & feel beautiful & happy.” My heart ached. I empathize, I lived decades basically lost, too. I chose this picture & song for this post intentionally. I did all my make up & hair myself for a gala. Had a great time simply enjoying being creative from a place of self love vs self hate. I felt exquisite. I prayed for someone to love me like the lyrics of this song for decades. When you get to the point of healing & wholeness where you don’t let your body or relationship or career or the clothes etc, wear you — life completely changes abundantly. I told her her future self will look back on her life right now, & wish she could live it again. Not because she wanted to DO anything different. But because she would wish she’d enjoyed it more. ☝🏻If I could share only 1 life lesson with you, it would be this. BODY: love yourself & body for everything you are, not what you aren’t. CAREER: you’re already rich if you have a career you love, roof over your head, food to eat, & people who love you. RELATIONSHIPS: the ‘right’ one feels like freedom & home without ego. You’re able to share every detail of yourself, life, & evolve together. We’re always living. But the question is, are you living YOUR best life fearlessly? Drop a ❤️ if you’re ready🤘🏻 Oxox Coach K #fitnessjourney #selflove #transformationtuesday
It was hard enough worrying about fitting in with the popular sorority girls in college. Special dietary needs and digestive issues piled on added physical, emotional, and mental weight. My body image and food issues started at the age of eight, and exacerbated as I got older — food fear, disordered eating, orthorexia, gastrointestinal bleeding, chronic constipation, abdominal pain, fatigue, weight gain, and bloating… just to name a few.
Decades later, I finally received a diagnosis.
Crohn’s Disease can occur in people of any age. By simple definition, Crohn’s is an inflammatory bowel disease that causes chronic inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract.
In the years that I have been managing this disease, I have been able to find health, happiness and wellness, even living with Crohn’s. What I’ve discovered is that it’s all about boundaries and vocalizing specific needs that would have solved a lot of suffering over the years had I shared them sooner.
Have you ever stopped to think about how 90% of your relationships are arguing over picking out a place to eat then ending up smashing pizza or Mexican & sayin the word “babe?”
Don’t lie. Y’all know it’s true. 😂🤚
Now embracing my Crohn’s & Carnivore lifestyle, I realize sticking to my boundaries, non negotiables, & OWNING my special needs would’ve solved much suffering in my lifetime.
Dating & relationships are challenging enough, let alone the added stress if you struggle with any kind of special health & digestive needs.
It’s like the Bumble Prompt: “We’ll get along if…”
— literally have put “You aren’t vegan. 🥩“ there before.
(No diet dogma here, but let’s be real 😆)
I hardly think we’re gonna have a great relationship as you sit there with your kale salad glaring at me like I’m a degenerate as I’m devouring burger patties. 🥗🍔
Ok, ok, joking aside, here are my top pieces of advice for successfully navigating dating and being social while living with Crohn’s. These tips are also helpful to those living with other special digestive needs and diets.
1.) Be honest and upfront about your needs.
Not only do you deserve the freedom to be yourself, others deserve to know who you truly are. Everyone deserves to know the real you and you deserve a real relationship. You do not want to jeopardize your health and eat or drink something that will trigger issues just because you are embarrassed to be yourself. Use it as an opportunity to educate. Embrace your uniqueness, most people don’t know what they don’t know. Education drives compliance and acceptance.
2.) Eat beforehand, bring your own food, and check the menu prior to your event.
This eliminates food issues completely. Social functions and dates do not need to be centered around food or cocktails. They should be centered around connection. By preparing ahead of time, you alleviate the stress of the unknown. Determine your nonnegotiables. They can be things like choosing to have a cocktail over a meal or choosing to savor a special meal from your favorite restaurant over your typical meal prep. I have literally brought @Zevia as a mixer or eaten an hour or two before dates/social functions.
Luckily with Carnivore, most places have a meat option. Custom order your food with specifics like grilled over fried, no oil, seasoning, sauces, or creams. Request an earlier time if later meals trigger gut symptoms and works better for your schedule.
My go to‘s when ordering out:
Burger patties
Grilled chicken
Chicken wings (naked, no seasoning)
Grilled salmon, fish, scallops, shrimp
Chopped steak, steaks
Fajita meat only when eating Mexican (ask for them to be cooked in no oil, seasonings, and no veggies)
3.) Request to have your cocktails crafted to your specific needs.
Most restaurants will cater to your food needs, don’t forget about cocktails, too. Read the ingredients in cocktails. Set drink limits. I have a two-three drink rule and personally avoid any calorically dense beverages with an abundance of sugar, carbs, or gluten. Remember that no one wants to be the girl or guy sitting on the corner trying to find your dignity down the street the next day. That look is not cute on anyone.
4.) Be an unapologetic question-asker and boundary-setter.
If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never know. Simple as that.
Boundaries are paramount. I struggled setting and standing by my boundaries when I was younger. I felt I was apologizing for everything whether I needed to apologize or not.
I had a professor tell me one time, “Never apologize for something you purposely set out to do with good intentions or a minor mistake simply because you’re human. If you go through life always apologizing, people will take you a lot less seriously, and so will you.”
Healthy boundaries are there to protect you. Don’t apologize for special needs, non-negotiables, and protecting your energy. Maybe you require more alone time or maybe you don’t feel like going out. Own your boundaries or people will continue to step over the line.
5.) Be a realistic relentless optimist.
Accept the facts but choose to always look for the silver linings.
Thoughts become things. Most would prefer to be around people who radiate joy and positivity.
I have a letter board in my kitchen that reads, “Stay close to the people who feel like sunshine.” I choose to be one of those people and bring the sunshine more than the rain.
Remember, just because you have special needs or a chronic illness does not mean you have to dull your sparkle!
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Hoosier farm girl & Purdue University grad, Katie is a multifaceted girlboss! She’s a nutritionist, radiologic technologist, personal coach, executive assistant, motivational speaker & writer, & brand growth consultant working with individuals, businesses, organizations, & executives. She specializes in gut health, sports nutrition, disordered eating, social branding, human connection, and how to optimize life to attract health, wealth, & happiness. Katie welcomes all preferences & skill levels with a no diet dogma or one size-size-fits-all approach to health, wellness, fitness, & nutrition. After decades of struggling with her own health issues from Crohn’s, obesity, disordered eating, infertility, hormonal imbalances, & being a competitive athlete, she is passionate about helping others find self love, achieve their goals, & create sustainable success habits for an EXTRAordinary life!
I respect & love everyone regardless of their status & beliefs on relationships, food, fitness, parenthood — whatever you wanna fill in the blank here…
I started my social media over 10 yrs ago with the hopes of sharing my life, words, & emotions to become something greater than myself to help others out there just tryna to be a better human.
I refer to myself as “self partnered”. Ive openly been divorced twice.
No ragrets.
I’m grateful for every multi dimensional & faceted relationship in my life.
I’m surrounded by infinite love, abundance, wealth & riches. Prosperity that isn’t simply monetary in nature.
Forms of wealth: self mastery, self awareness, family, health, craft, personal development, money, time, freedom, charity, adventure, circle of genius & environment.
The contrast lies in people cultivating actions & beliefs out of obligation rather than authenticity.
Thru the years, having a specific status like being married or a parent became like a status symbol or achievement. Like somehow you’re better, more successful — more LOVED than your single or childless self.
I want to remind y’all today — your whole life is Love.
“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.” – Joseph Campbell
I’ll leave you with this… Don’t be afraid to love. Yourself, other people, experiences — fall in love with as many things as possible!
I carry a piece of every relationship in my heart. I carry them because they made me a better woman — the confident, compassionate, hopeful, self-partnered human that is ready to openly welcome her next one
I cringed. Conversation starter…saw a T-shirt this mornin that said, “The best man for the job is a woman.”🫣
Why do we feel the need to have to hate on the opposite sex? I’m so grateful my parents taught me it’s OK to be a “girl” & it’s OK to be strong like a “man” too. They just wanted my brothers & I to be ourselves.
Listen Linda, I’ve been divorced twice, but I still LOVE & appreciate men. I’m grateful for y’all. I acknowledge there are some things you men do way better than me, & I’m totally OK letting you do it.
I love everything about women, too, we’re both simply unique. (get yer minds out of the gutter, because I know they went there😂)
My mom taught me I can do anything a man can do, & if I can’t, I can hire it done.
💁🏼♀️Girl boss shi*t level 100
— THIS is more about being a self-sufficient human, not hating on the other sex.
It’s like when I get questions when you could’ve simply Googled & YouTubed that shiz
Ima straight shooter, we real talk on this channel. Y’all can do your own life admin.
I know I don’t need someone to take care of me nor do I feel like I have to have a man to be happy, but I do love the feeling of having someone to protect & take care of me because they want to.
Successful relationships thrive because you see each other as equals & want the best for one another. Your happiness is my happiness.
Not because either one feels they can’t take care of themselves or are incomplete without the other.
A negative pattern I used to fall into, I would attract partners where I quickly fell into the role of mom, teacher, &/or enabler.
Karen, we ain’t got time for that.
And neither do you guys. Choose a woman that makes you want to be a better man, that lets you be yourself, lets you be the provider, lets you be the more masculine, enjoys taking care of you & most importantly, is your best friend.
Ladies, vice versa.
A healed, confident person is honest, blunt af, & tells you exactly who they are & what they want. If you’re confused, there’s your answer.
How bout we all simply love people for the humans we are & what we bring to the table?!
As one who has made all the wrong decisions before making the right ones, one thing in life I am most grateful are all the things I’ve done wrong that didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped because they taught me how to do things right & how to roll with life.
I made all the wrong decisions with my health, relationships, & finances.
Had a message from a gal this mornin, she stated she was single, broke, & miserable. I felt her anguish, & I’m here to tell you you define your reality. It is what YOU make it.
Sometimes it takes a heart break &/or us f*cking up in business/health/relationships to shake us awake & help us see we are so much more than what we’re settling for.
I refuse to live a life of mediocracy. I decided this yrs ago, 2018 to be exact, when I was living out of my office, showering at gyms, going thru a heartbreak, barely had enough money to purchase groceries, & no idea what the f*ck I was doing or where I was going. I just knew I was meant for more.
Things still aren’t perfect but I am so grateful for what I have, hopeful & excited for what’s ahead. I am ruthlessly resilient & diligent. Mental fortitude, getcha some. Ain’t nobody gonna save you or cut you a check but YOU.
I responded to this gal, “There’s always something to be grateful for & if you’re not living life happy, you’re doing it all wrong. But that’s OK because along the way you’ll figure out what to do right.”
She said she couldn’t find anyone she was compatible, no one checked the boxes.🤔
Y’all, everyone will tell you to find someone with the same interests as yours, same values, yada yada…like it’s a parameter instead of a goal that can develop. And none of us are easy to be with, let’s be honest. You shouldn’t be trying to change anyone else in the process either. Let people be. And don’t accept any less yourself.
Don’t settle for ambiguous texts. Stop idolizing men or women that don’t also put you on a pedestal & do for you. If you’re wanting to up level & be a high value person, stop dating beneath your standards because you’re lonely.
Don’t settle for scraps when you deserve that whole piece of prime rib, baby🥩
Yes, you have to have some common ground. But come on, how many failed relationships have you had that started out with this criteria of checking boxes & looking for compatibility?
I’m embarrassed to say how many I’ve had 👀
They fail overtime because you don’t leave room to learn from each other, you don’t go into a relationship open minded & realize you’re both going to change as people & you have to learn how to evolve & grow together or you’re better off growing apart.
That doesn’t mean you have to hate each other. That means you have to love the other person enough AND yourself enough to know the difference. Lovingly let people go. That’s you loving yourself. And if you can’t do that you have a lot of inner work & baggage to unpack.
My perspective has changed, I view compatibility as loves achievement – not criteria that has to be met prior to trying to get to know someone.
Imagine creating & transforming a life with the right person. The one you chose to be your favorite.
“Your favorite” should not only be the one who makes you happy but they should be the one who pisses you off, who challenges you, who loves you for all your weirdness, who tells you what you don’t want to hear but need to hear, & continues to choose you every day.
Live life happy. Compatibility is loves achievement.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer
As for me, I have no interest in settling. I read a quote that said, “Settling is what sediment does when it falls to the bottom of a sea or lake, right before it compresses for several million years & turns in to a fossil.”
I’d rather be a fine wine🍷, expensive glass of bourbon 🥃, & some Waygu beef 🥩 than a fossil.
I love storytelling. I love storytelling my life & I love hearing people share stories about their lives, emotions, & experiences.
I loathe small talk.
Most likely a big reason I find dating exhausting. Too many people are only willing to scratch the surface of actually getting to know someone, putting in the minimal effort required, vapid conversations.
Hardly anyone actually asks you out on a date or even coffee to meet face to face anymore.
I thoroughly enjoy a confident, masculine man who takes the lead & is on the old fashioned side.
Speaking of old fashioneds, ☝️ point if you too fancy this beloved cocktail of choice. Double ribeye points (I just can’t say brownie😂) if you buy me one AND tell me stories about your ambitions, your big goals, your likes/dislikes, weird thoughts, dreams, whatever – I wanna hear it.
Embrace who you are.
Since freeing myself from the chains of people pleasing & what I thought I “should be” & blazing a path of my own, that painful path has led me to being the happiest I have ever been. It has allowed my light to shine & attract the right people, places, lessons, & opportunities.
Not all these things were rainbows & sunshine & sweet cocktails & coffee that taste like heaven. Some felt like gaping wounds that you poured salt on & chased with a shot of bad tequila or a yager bomb.
GAG.
BAD memories from college. Same with anything peach or that semi resembles jungle juice.
Oprah Winfrey said, “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.”
Happy birthday to Queen O today btw. I love Aquarians, from one “weirdo” to another, I see you.
To all my astrology nerds out there, I’m a Scorpio Rising, Cancer Sun, & Sagittarius Moon. Very much a Scorpio/Sag.
Kinda like I’m the most positive, open minded, free spirited, fun person to be around, but my feelings run deep & I will cut a mf if I have to to protect my peace, my family, my people, & my money.
Today, a reminder to just be you, be weird, be kind to people, get to know one another. And realize you’re never behind, there are no timelines, & fulfillment means something different to us all.
I haven’t traveled the world, but I’ve experienced some really cool places. I’ve lived thru moments of what some people back home would only dream of, but yet, I’ve found more fulfillment in my morning coffee, writing, caring for livestock & my plants, that 1st bite of delicious food, listening to music that brings back smiles & memories, watching the flowers & trees dance, feeling sunshine on my skin, & somehow those are more savory.
There hasn’t been a day of my life where I haven’t needed to read a quote, poem, affirmation, or beautiful words from a talented creator to express how I feel, give me a hug, punch me in the gut, break my heart, or put it back together.
Ya know what I mean?
Swipe for a couple of my favorites today, & this is one of my favorite pics taken of me.
I told a friend goin thru a break up I understood that hopeless pit feeling. I said, “I hope you find love, but most importantly, I hope you love yourself more to be strong enough to walk away from what love isn’t & find peace in the realization that you are already love everyday.”
— I needed to take my own advice.
In my 20s/early 30s I made plenty of bad decisions after my 1st divorce at 27.
Plenty of fast & furious acquaintances, some more longer-term, they all aided in growth (some more enjoyable than others 😂)
Hxll, let’s be honest, some I don’t even remember. It’s like that person you put in your phone as “Joe Bumble” or “Dude from Texas” 😆📲
I talked about this in therapy. My therapist said it’s because when I was younger I didn’t believe I was worthy of love I desired.
Which is why I picked men that were not on my level, & to be frank, EASY for me. 🤦🏼♀️fxck me.
She said now I’m “selective & guarded”because I’m actually afraid I might find someone & be forced to choose between my happiness & freedom of autonomy & that person.
I’m afraid to make the same mistakes like being a people pleaser & losing myself. Losing the beautiful life I’ve created.
One of the major reasons I struggled with singleness when I was young was because I didn’t have a life that I truly enjoyed. Sure, I had stuff that I did because I had to (school, work, farm chores) & a few friends to hang out with, but there was so much down time where I was alone with my thoughts.
And in that down time, I wasn’t nurturing myself. I was still searching for someone to build a home in.
Unfortunately, with women, there is so much emphasis put on being “picked” that most of us focus the majority of our energy on that, controlling our bodies, & not enough on creating a bomb a$$ life for ourselves.
Ladies, stop being the hopeless romantic woman who tends to do the bare minimum when it comes to life because y’all are waitin for your prince charming to come sweep you off your feet.
Build your own life 1st, THEN find someone just as BombDiggity as you to build a life with. And that may be for a season, it may be for a lifetime. Define your relationships however you want.
I encourage all the single women & men reading this to begin to create a life that YOU live (while in your singleness). The right man or woman who comes along will just ADD to the enjoyment…but they won’t be the creator of it.
Had a follower ask how I stay so happy & positive being alone. Because being alone is something she struggles with.
I felt her emotions to my core, for I used to be the girl always in a relationship, one right after the other.
I responded with, “Well there’s a difference between being alone & being lonely. Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to choose to be lonely.
For example, I met new friends this weekend at the pool.
It’s amazing how the right people come into your life when you choose to do things by yourself with an open heart & an open mind.
We talked about this very subject. One gentleman, also single & vintage like myself 😄, stated this very thing. He was definitely an extrovert, vibrant personality, & stated the majority of his married friends envy his single life & are unhappy in their marriages.
I’ve observed similar experiences. Like I’ve said before, I believe the most creative couples who define their own relationships openly are the happiest.
I’ve observed some monogamous, some in open relationships, some polyamorous, different sexual preferences, didn’t matter – “happiness” & “fulfillment” in those relationships came down to common denominators: those people having self-love within themselves, being able to evolve together, & open communication.
I told this particular follower, I didn’t know everything — I don’t & I’m still learning just like her & everybody else out there.
I said I can’t say when you’ll get love or how you’ll find it or even promise that it will happen. I can only tell you, & you have to believe this yourself, you are worthy of it.
It’s never too much to ask for & you’re not crazy to fear you’ll never have it again, we’re human. I will tell you your fears are probably wrong, though.
Love is like the most nourishing & essential nutrient of life. Without it life has a little meaning. And this could be love for yourself, love for a greater purpose, or love for another.
It is the most important thing we have to give freely & the most valuable thing we can be receive.
You can have love without being in a contractual relationship or “relationship” that society deems the norm. You have to Believe you are deserving & open yourself up to receive love in whatever version or person or people the Universe & God give you.
You don’t have to & shouldn’t settle for anything that is less than. And you shouldn’t have to abandon yourself for said love.
Looking back, I always thought I was the sole problem in my past relationships. I was too deep, emotional. Maybe too needy. My personality was too big. I was simply too much.
And I did display unhealthy behaviors, trauma, & actions in past relationships, I own that. I have worked diligently doing my own work & in therapy to learn how to develop healthy patterns, beliefs, self-love, & grace, a WHOLE LOTTA grace when old behaviors want to come back. You have to learn to let them go.
Our job is to not settle for love or a life that is lackluster, abusive, emotionally damaging, or vanilla. Equally important we cannot settle for that kind of love from ourselves. 🤍
