Mental Health – Page 7 – lil bit of fit

February 13, 2022

Love lessons and things to learn about yourself to be successful in love

Love is a classroom not a candy shop.
— Life lessons I’ve learned from the school of hard knocks
📸 : simply showin love for this lil meat sack in the mirror.

lilbitoffit — Self love is the best love.

Love is the most powerful force in the world. In my opinion, the only thing that matters. For nothing would exist in this world, including you, without love.

I used to think there was only one soulmate out there made specifically just for you. After 39 years I’ve learned you’ll meet many people & things throughout your life that will be your “soulmate.” Some for seasons & others maybe for life.

I define “soulmate” now as a mate that helps you find your soul. This includes yourself, memories, places, things, friends, family, lovers, & enemies.

A book that changed my life 15 years ago, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I discovered it in a desk drawer at work & no one knew how it got there. I was miserable at this time struggling in my marriage & with mental & physical health. It taught me the power of my thoughts, love, & perspective.

Lessons I’ve learned about love that may help spark thought & introspection for you today…

-When you seek pleasure & lust it always runs away from you but when you seek purpose, understanding & connection, pleasure comes towards you because it’s a byproduct of you putting in the work.

Learn about yourself & your person. Understand what you both love, how you’re both wired, love languages, etc.

Things that helped me understand myself & other people…
FUN STUFF ABOUT ME👇
▪️Manifesting Generator (Human Design) basically get sh*t done & move at the speed of thought. Busy bodies, worker bees, get more done before 9am than most do in a week.

▪️ENFJ (Myers Briggs) among the rarest of the 16 types, only 2-3% of the population. The ENFJ is warm, extroverted, engaging, charismatic, persuasive, & talkative.⁣ Oprah, Barack Obama, Maya Angelou.

▪️2w3 (Enneagram) The helper/achiever, desire to fulfill the needs of others & can sense emotions with clarity & precision. Helping & achieving brings us Joy.

▪️Love languages: 1.words of affirmation 2. physical touch 3. quality time⁣

⁣▪️Astrology: I’m a Rising Scorpio ♏️ , Cancer ♋️ Sun, Sagittarius ♐️ moon. Basically a contradictory Unicorn because I love deep thinking, caretaking, & solitude, but the Sag loves freedom, extroversion & adventure. I’m freedom & home❤😘

All of these things craft a completely unique & wonderful individual. You can always know someone deeper.

This is why there is so much infidelity because we are addicted to newness. So why don’t you learn something new about your other half? It’s just like walking down the same path every day, why don’t you try to notice a new flower, rock, or tree? Then you’ll discover the same old paths can always be new & exciting. Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Be playful but don’t play mind games. If you’re interested, make the move & observe. If they don’t respond, move on. We build strength when we make the move because we build confidence. This is you being in charge of your destiny. Mind games destroy the authenticity of a relationship.

Making someone feel bad doesn’t make them good. You change because of love, clarity, & communication. We don’t change because of judgment, guilt, & expectation

Any recurring issues you need to solve for the long run.

Prepare your partner for your mood swings & schedule. Communicate what makes you feel safe. For example, ask, “Do you need support or a solution.?” “Does saving make you feel safe or your earning power?” Check in with your other half. Pick one day a week & have a date check in. Ask them, “What was the highlight of your week & how can I help you?

Focus on how you can complement, not compete or complete. When you compete you’re trying to be everything. When you compliment, you are just being you. Take a moment & recognize what your other half brings to the relationship.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday & Valentine’s Eve, squad!
Go out there & love someone today!

oxox Coach K

February 7, 2022

70% of leadership is this

70% of leadership is how you lead yourself. There is a difference between leadership & management just like there’s a difference between preaching & practicing what you preach.

I strive to be the best woman I can be for others & myself. Has nothing to do with perfection, everything about effort & intention.

Just like fitness, sharing a snippet of mine this morning with the 7am squad! Brutal.

videos here

I want to be a human that when someone talks about me I would hope that they would say she makes me want to be a better person.

Had plenty of wake up calls where I asked myself a few things:

How do you maintain positivity in the face of negativity?
How do you set goals & a plan to accomplish those goals?
When do you stay committed to yourself despite lack of motivation or shade from others?

People will follow you if you give them a purposeful reason to. That is the foundation that 70% of leadership for yourself is built on.

I feel there are 3 kinds of leadership:

1️⃣Physical leadership: Are you healthy & happy & nourished body, mind, & spirit to be strong & serve as a role model to others?

2️⃣Mental leadership: social media brainwashes you & continuously puts what you want to see in front of you. What are you clicking on, subjecting yourself to, & what are you consuming?

Find the people you want to be like, that you want to embody so you can learn from them & be better. Release the individuals who don’t take you where you want to go.

3️⃣Emotional leadership: The ability to stay balanced & even keeled. Choosing positivity in the face of negativity.

Watch your thoughts. Watch your words. Know your mission & values.

Your mission should be built on the foundation of your values.

So what are your values?

Mine: Service. Health. Wealth & Freedom. Self Nourishment. Extraordinary Relationships.

So with that, I’ll step off my soapbox🤗

“Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss

I love you all!

Oxox

Coach K

February 4, 2022

Things I had to do to lose body fat and achieve a healthier lean physique

The majority of your questions today revolved around: macros, daily routine, changes that made the biggest impact on fat loss & my transformation, & workouts.

Y’all I simply consistently eat meat & lift things. I’ve shifted my focus however completely from fitness & aesthetic goals to my career & longevity the past couple years.⁣

Some things that haven’t changed are the facts I still have Crohn’s (although in remission & med free), & life still takes consistency & intention.

I know many of you are struggling right now…with all kinds of stuff like life, health & fitness, maybe relationships too.

One of the best question asked today was, “How do YOU stay committed & consistent?⁣

I replied, “Commitment is defined as a willingness to give your time & energy into something you believe in, a promise or firm decision to do something.⁣”⁣

What more worthy thing to believe in, commit to, & invest in than yourself & your health?

The process…⁣

1. Truly look at yourself & current state. What are your goals/desires? What do you need to improve to move the needle forward?⁣

If you’re clearly not where you want to be, you need to own that. It is not anyone else’s fault but yours. You control your reality.

Picture your future self & condition. What thoughts & reality do you want to grow? How would you feel? Really visualize this as luscious & vibrant as possible. This is massively impactful, because it’s going to create possibility & self belief.⁣

A practice that helps me visualize & shift my energy to a positive place: I pull up Pinterest & consume positive quotes, images, videos, anything that shifts my state to a happy empowered place.

Swipe save & share! Hope these help!

Link for product info, discount codes & resources here

I’m rooting for you!

Oxox

Coach K

February 4, 2022

I asked an elderly patient what the most important thing she learned in life and this is what she said

I asked an elderly patient years ago, “What is the most important thing you’ve learned in 85 years?”⁣
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And she said somethin to me I’ll never forget that I also heard on a podcast the other day that brought back this memory, “One of the most important things I’ve learned is health is the crown on the well person’s head that only the sick person can see & wealth comes in many other more important forms than money.”⁣
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Ooooof. Who else felt that? 👋⁣
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She went on to say, “I wished I had changed my perspective sooner. Mostly around the perception of being ‘wealthy’ & the perception that in order to be beautiful I had to be skinny. I realize I was always chasing a goal like being rich & losing as much weight as possible instead of embracing the experiences of the journey & being grateful for what I already had.”⁣
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I don’t know about y’all but I love spending time with the elderly. They’re full of magical wisdom.⁣
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3 things I’ve learned in my 39 yrs on this earth I’ll share with you in hopes of you learning this sooner than I did:⁣
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➡️Joy, purpose, fulfillment (JPF) vs fame, fortune, applause (FFA). Which would you choose? I choose JPF because if you choose JPF the FFA will follow.⁣
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➡️Forms of wealth: self mastery, self awareness, family, health, your craft, personal development, money, time, freedom, charity, adventure, your circle of genius & environment⁣
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➡️Don’t lower your standards or standard of living to meet your income, raise your income & standards of living to meet your standards.⁣
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➡️If you’re gonna chase something, chase service. Because “To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell.⁣
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We’re all gonna die what are you gonna leave behind? Abs, money in the bank, or the memories of a life well lived?⁣
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Oxox⁣
Coach K⁣
Scrubs: @wearfigs
I’m an XXS top, XXS petite bottom for reference (5’1, 105lbs)

February 1, 2022

Things adulthood taught me that never age

Things adulthood taught me that never age…

#transformationtuesday

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👉🏻Choose your friends, food, & alcohol wisely. Ps. Taking 3 shots instead of 5 is still not taking better care of your body🥃 ⁣

👉🏻Credit cards are dangerous

👉🏻You can bless & block anyone or anything from your life if it disturbs your peace & energy. You don’t owe anyone anything

👉🏻Rescuing a cat 🐈‍⬛ & a bottle of @crownroyal are totally acceptable valentine gifts to yourself

👉🏻There is no such thing as too many plants (or coffee)🪴☕️ ⁣

👉🏻 I don’t remember life before @instacart & @amazon prime or #meatbars ⁣🤷‍♀️

👉🏻 Life actually starts when you get an airfryer. Get 1 sooner♨️❤️⁣

👉🏻The answer is always walk & meat 🥩🦶

👉🏻Stop ignorin all the red flags they be showin, they’re not check engine lights 😆 & when you think a mf won’t do you like that, they absolutely will do you like that 👀 ⁣

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👉🏻You cannot send 2 questions to a man in the same message or next message before getting a reply to the 1st one. You’ll only get a reply to 1. Slow down😜⁣

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⁣👉🏻You spend the majority of your day rubbin a piece of glass 📱🤳🏻 Love life fiercely that’s all that matters. Not just the highlight reels.⁣

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⁣👉🏻Grocery Stores should put carts in the middle where my pride realizes I have too much sh*t to carry⁣⁣

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⁣👉🏻Rugs are expensive save your money, spend it buying your own flowers💐 ⁣

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👉🏻When I was young I wanted 2 kids, a picket fence, & married by 21…lets all laugh together. 😂 Live your own timeline.⁣

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⁣👉🏻 Live simple. Things weigh you down. ⁣(Except meat. Buy the meat 🍖🙃)⁣

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👉🏻Part of me wants to be a powerful independent woman who makes a 💩 ton of money & the other part wants to be a trophy wife with new boobs sitting at the pool & the most difficult decision of my day being what cocktail I wanna drink. Your wants & needs will change. Let them. Always aim to evolve higher. You can do it all!

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👉🏻Beware of cocktails that taste like juice, ice cream, or a slushy…before ya know it you can’t walk & have to pick up your dignity down the street the next day. Treat your body like a trash can & you become the trash can.⁣

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⁣👉🏻It’s ok to go thru this phase called “fxck everything.” Do your squats & know your worth. Take it one “WTF” at a time. ⁣

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Oxox

Coach K

January 31, 2022

Why you need to chase what lights you up

The question I want you to ask yourself today is what lights you up?

Why you ask?

Because what’s embedded in your responses lies your answers.

I’ll share some of mine & stories you might relate to as well…

➡️I love money.

I didn’t always have a good relationship with money nor believed I was worthy of it. In fact I had a scarcity mindset the majority of my life. In the past few years I’ve learned I need to nurture my relationship with money just like any other.

Money gives me time, freedom, the ability to give back & invest in others. It gives me the ability to give myself things that light me up which in turn give me the energy & happiness to serve at my best.

I changed my story from the thoughts of “I’m greedy & money is bad.” to “I am worthy, smart, & compassionate because I know without money I’m not able to serve others or myself at my fullest capacity.”

➡️I love my health.

I know without my health I also cannot function at my highest capacity physically, mentally emotionally, intellectually, or financially.

This is why I work out 5d/week & eat food that nourishes my body to help me perform at my best. This also means taking time to rest. If you want to be a top-notch athlete you need to live & think like one.

➡️I love my relationships.

Without community connection in some way shape or form we lose our sense of purpose. Be mindful of the company you keep, make sure to surround yourself & consume an upleveling environment.

We were put here to learn, connect, live with Joy, & follow what lights us up.

The truth is we often forget by doing what light us up that is the fastest way to bring the abundance flow back to you.

It’s never too late to rewrite your story & I’ll remind you that there’s nothing enlightening about resisting pleasure, money, your health, etc & turning down the beauty in your heart.

“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive & go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

#mindsetmonday

Oxox Coach K

☕️: @trustwealthstrategies

January 30, 2022

How to live life like Dolly Parton

Big @dollyparton energy today y’all✨

I enjoyed these quotes this mornin & I hope they set the stage for your week (& the rest of your life).

I watched a Netflix documentary about Dolly – she’s a magical human y’all.

I’m in love with her bling, flare, essence of unapologetically being herself, her femininity & her get shit done attitude! #girlcrush #rolemodel

Minus the boobs, I dunno how she functions in those things. Props ✊ Proud card toting member of the #ittybittytittyCommittee here 👋 🎟

It made me want to continue to live life BIG.

To attract my dreams.

I no longer say “chase” because a high value human doesn’t chase anything, you become what you want & you ATTRACT what is meant for you. – write that down 😉✍🏼

And these…

Living a BIG life requires:

not being afraid to shine

being YOU

giving less fux

not playing small

& not chronically trying to shrink yourself in every facet of that statement

Put your crown on 👑

Get your beauty sleep🥰

Pose in your underwear, whatever tf you wanna do.

I’m sure I’ll get hate messages for it & you know what?! Thank you.

Because if they ain’t talkin about you you ain’t doin something right. – words of wisdom from my momma

I crushed almost 9 hrs last night, no ragrets. Pampered myself instead of going out, & I realized as I’ve gotten older it feels so much better to wake up refreshed🤘🏻

Gonna get in a good workout

Gonna spend the day with friends & family gloriously watching sports & enjoying life!

Rooting for my Purdue Boilers!

I dunno who to choose in the playoffs, great teams! Going with the Bengals & 49ers, how bout you?

Enough rambling, swipe away, words of wisdom from the Queen!

I hope you have the most magical, refreshing Sunday ever!

Oxox Coach K

#boilerup

On Faith

“If I can hold God’s attention, I can hold the world’s.”

On Believing In Yourself

“The magic is inside you, there ain’t no crystal ball.”

On Work

In her book Dream More, Parton wrote, “I never have considered myself a perfectionist, but I do think of myself as a ‘professionalist’…I always strive simply to be my very best.”

On Ambition

“Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen. Pour myself a cup of ambition.”

On Life

In July 2019, Parton tweeted: “If you see someone without a smile today, give ’em yours.”

On Diamonds

“I look totally artificial, but I am totally real, as a writer, as a professional, as a human being. A rhinestone shines just as good as a diamond.”

On Love

I’ve had to go against all kinds of people through the years just to be myself. I think everybody should be allowed to be who they are, and to love who they love.”

On Life

“Everybody has their own journey, they have their own way of doing things. And who am I to judge?”

On Marriage

“He’s always loved who I was, and I loved who he was, and we never tried to change each other,” Parton said about her

husband Carl Thomas Dean, in the June 2016 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.

On Real Beauty

“You don’t have to look like everybody else. You don’t have to be a raving beauty to be special and to be beautiful.”

On Life

“I make a point to appreciate all the little things in my life. I go out and smell the air after a good, hard rain. These small actions help remind me that there are so many great, glorious pieces of good in the world.”

On Work

“I always count my blessings more than I count my money. I don’t work for money, never did.”

On Life

“Everybody’s life is a soap opera. Everybody’s life is a country western song, depends on who’s writing it.”

On Diets

In her book Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business, Parton joked, “I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”

On Life

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

On Stardom

“I’m just a working girl. I never think of myself as a star because, as somebody once said, ‘A star is nothing but a big ball of gas’–and I don’t want to be that.”

On Work

“I’m not going to limit myself just because people won’t accept the fact that I can do something else.”

January 29, 2022

I love storytelling & a note about fullfilment

I love storytelling. I love storytelling my life & I love hearing people share stories about their lives, emotions, & experiences.

I loathe small talk.

Most likely a big reason I find dating exhausting. Too many people are only willing to scratch the surface of actually getting to know someone, putting in the minimal effort required, vapid conversations.

Hardly anyone actually asks you out on a date or even coffee to meet face to face anymore.

I thoroughly enjoy a confident, masculine man who takes the lead & is on the old fashioned side.

Speaking of old fashioneds, ☝️ point if you too fancy this beloved cocktail of choice. Double ribeye points (I just can’t say brownie😂) if you buy me one AND tell me stories about your ambitions, your big goals, your likes/dislikes, weird thoughts, dreams, whatever – I wanna hear it.

Embrace who you are.

Since freeing myself from the chains of people pleasing & what I thought I “should be” & blazing a path of my own, that painful path has led me to being the happiest I have ever been. It has allowed my light to shine & attract the right people, places, lessons, & opportunities.

Not all these things were rainbows & sunshine & sweet cocktails & coffee that taste like heaven. Some felt like gaping wounds that you poured salt on & chased with a shot of bad tequila or a yager bomb.

GAG.

BAD memories from college. Same with anything peach or that semi resembles jungle juice.

Oprah Winfrey said, “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.”

Happy birthday to Queen O today btw. I love Aquarians, from one “weirdo” to another, I see you.

To all my astrology nerds out there, I’m a Scorpio Rising, Cancer Sun, & Sagittarius Moon. Very much a Scorpio/Sag.

Kinda like I’m the most positive, open minded, free spirited, fun person to be around, but my feelings run deep & I will cut a mf if I have to to protect my peace, my family, my people, & my money.

Today, a reminder to just be you, be weird, be kind to people, get to know one another. And realize you’re never behind, there are no timelines, & fulfillment means something different to us all.

I haven’t traveled the world, but I’ve experienced some really cool places. I’ve lived thru moments of what some people back home would only dream of, but yet, I’ve found more fulfillment in my morning coffee, writing, caring for livestock & my plants, that 1st bite of delicious food, listening to music that brings back smiles & memories, watching the flowers & trees dance, feeling sunshine on my skin, & somehow those are more savory.

Let’s have ourselves a day!

oxox Coach K

January 27, 2022

Spend less time worrying about these things to lose more body fat

Do you get anxiety when you look at old pictures or how many calories you burned or how rigid you need to be on your diet?

I’ve talked to a lot of you about this today.

Its ok if your diet is different now than it was then. You have control over your choices. And just because you have 1 or 2 days of consuming more than you normally do doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

You need to focus & track the important things. See below & make sure to save, share, & tag this post on IG!

You need to have self-awareness over chronic self sabotaging habits.

If you are constantly worried about the number on the scale or how many calories you burned or how rigid you are with your diet because you fear other people will judge you, or how long or how much you need to be fasting & these things lead to binging & physical &/or emotional harm, we have some self healing work to do.

This exact conversation comes up in coaching consults on the reg. Whether my clients are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s or beyond. Disordered eating & body image issues do not discriminate.

This concept was hard for me to accept, too. We change, it’s what we do. If you are taking care of yourself, feel good, & nourishing your body with food, so be it if you’re doing things a little differently than others.

If I have a rough body image day & miss a smaller or leaner or stronger version of myself, I quickly remember how miserable I was at certain times in my life. Then I’m grateful.

I thought about food constantly, had intense anxiety around food in social situations, was a slave to my exercise. I worried more about what other people thought of me than what I thought about myself.

You give up your power. Your hobby then becomes chasing a smaller version of yourself. And I’ll tell you right now it doesn’t help you lose more body fat more times than it does.

Engage in movement you love & eat food that supports your physical & mental health.

Food is a part of life, not your whole life.

Focus on the important shit that truly will move the needle forward.

Oxox Coach K

January 27, 2022

When your problems seem too big I want you to remember this, PLUS, things I learned in college

You know those days where your problems seem GINORMOUS? Or you just feel frustrated & agitated af & don’t know why?

Love my career! Although I didn’t go to Purdue specifically for radiology, I still got a BS degree in Science. Still consider West Lafayette my home away from home & a piece of my heart will always be there.

— I feel you. I feel I’m dippin my toes again into a big pool of transition. Ugh, times like these are heavy & almost suffocating. I’m blaming it on #mercuryretrograde

I came across an astronomy account called @astronomybasics Y’all, my inner Purdue science nerd geeks out on this stuff. I love it! This post shared facts about 2 black holes, called “binary black holes” because they orbit each other. They’re BIG & beautiful & 1.3 billion light years away.

Makes you & your human “problems” seem small & silly, right?!

I remember in college worrying about the stupidest sh*t…like lookin fat in my outfit for Thursday nights at the Neon Cactus or the big fraternity party that week. I don’t know if anyone else experienced looking at a picture after your freshman year & cringing because you realize you gained the freshman 15 (or 20 in my case).

I remember my brother telling me how much “bigger” I was. OMG I wanted to hide in shame & thought life was over.

Since we’re on the subject of #collegelife looking back on my 4 years at Purdue, I realize how many countless hours I spent in the classroom & studying for tests. (Ok, maybe I didn’t spend AS much time on those things as keg stands, flippy cup, & Greek events, but alas, it added up & I still made Dean’s list.)

When I think about all that time I spent working toward my degree, I wonder, what did it really leave me with? A piece of paper that will continue to gather dust?

I thought harder…my dudes, I learned so much more via college experiences than academics. I’ll share a few with you & hopefully they spark introspection & give a sense of peace wherever you are right now…

Swipe & share with your friends on Instagram!

Ps #boilerup 🖤💛🤍

No one gives a sh*t about your GPA, people care more about how you make them feel, your integrity & effort.
Learn self discipline, ain’t nobody here to hold your hand. Work smarter not harder.
Just when you think a mf won’t do you like that, they def will do you like that. It be that way sometimes. Watch your words, be picky about the company you keep.
Care for something other than yourself, but not more than you care for yourself.
Big friend circles don’t mean you’re cooler or loved more. Your circles will become smaller as you get older & that’s ok. Make sure you surround yourself with people smarter & more successful than you.
Real independence is found in being comfortable alone, on your own without needing someone with you to stabilize you. Realize being independent doesn’t mean you’re not smart enough to delegate & ask for help.
It’s easy to think that there should be more people like you in the world, but once you open your mind to groups of unfamiliar people, you become able to see that our differences are what make humanity so beautiful.
As I matured in college & life, I began to see my parents as people, instead of just “my parents.” I began to appreciate them for who they are, their experiences, sacrifices, & realize they’re constantly evolving & learning just like me.
It is impossible to hold on to everything in your life; sometimes, you have to burn bridges & move on, others you learn to lovingly release & let go. As Dylan McKay once said, “May the bridges I burn light my way.”
Say NO. I used to be the girl who couldn’t say, no — until I had to. Life places demands on you that can be detrimental. You do not have time for everything & you will never please everyone. Saying “no” isn’t about being weak, missing out or offending others, it’s about being smart & understanding what’s meant for you.
Dream BIG. College showed me a little piece of the world, & that little piece was enough to teach me to dream of bigger & better possibilities.
Create your own possibilities & live life to the fullest because our time here is tiny & short & so are we in this Universe.

oxox Coach K

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