Relationship Advice – Page 4

April 14, 2021

She told me she feels like she lost the spark and her relationship & this is what I said…

DM of the day, “I feel like I’ve lost the spark in my relationship. I dunno whether to stay, go, change myself or him. Maybe there’s a better one out there.”

I asked her, “Well how do you want to feel in your relationship?” — She didn’t know.

How bout we start there before we talk about anyone changing anyone else.

I’ll ask y’all something my mom asked me before, “Who do you want beside you on the beach when you’re old?”

I refer back to one of fav quotes, “Fall in love with someone who is both your safe place & your biggest adventure. — Bianca Sparacino

There is nothing about butterfly’s in that quote. And nothing about perfection.

Because let me tell ya, in 38 years I’ve never once met a perfect man — or a perfect ME.

I’ve had a hard time letting people love me.

I had a bad habit of pushing away healthy, stable love. And if I felt I was going to be hurt, or things got really f*cked up & hard, I’d emotionally distance & end things before I could get hurt.

I’ve learned letting someone love you doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re deciding you deserve to be loved.

To the recovering avoidant like myself, it’s hard. It feels icky sometimes & requires a shxt ton of courage & vulnerability I can’t even find the words for.

My idea of love has changed as I’ve aged. I used to view it as a noun — it’s a verb.

It’s something you choose, it takes conscious effort & work. It’s not magic fairy dust & an endless buffet of ribs (but that’s would be nice sign me up btw 🤚)

A hard lesson I’ve learned is bad timing doesn’t always mean you stop trying or believing in love.

Maybe you just need slow down, adjust your sails & wait until things are maybe a lil slightly less fxcked. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

The grass is greener where you water it. Don’t forget to water yours first.

Oxox

April 7, 2021

Lack of honesty in relationships — the actual “weight” you need to lose to gain

I was never prepared for half of the shxt I’ve gone through, but I got thru it.

During a client consult call yesterday, the conversation turned into more about her habits & relationships than macros or diet — which often is the “weight” we are carrying around.

Our relationships with other people, food, ourselves, exercise — weigh enormously on our overall health (mental &physical).

Laughter, sleep, nature, nourishing food, sun, friends, alone time — all the best medicines.

My client said she didn’t think she was meant to be in a relationship because they never seem to work out.

I asked her if she was being honest with herself, honest with her partners & really clear on what she wants (or lack of).

She said she thought so.

And I said, “That’s your answer, you don’t just think so — you gotta know.”

I explained people come into your life as mirrors & teachers & if you’re lucky enough, you find a human you align positively with & fancy incredibly well. But that was up to her & the energy she was putting out there.

She said she feels timing is always off.

Sometimes honest feelings & bad timing make the most painful combination.

Thinking you met the right person but at the wrong time. You want so badly for things to work out but there’s that nagging “ I don’t think this is right” ache that won’t go away. Usually ends in dragging things out or hiding feelings which lead to resentment.

A quote that hit me hard in the past: “Some people keep changing partners to avoid changing themselves.”

READ THAT AGAIN

You can insert food & exercise there as well.

I was like, fxck me. I have done this for years🤦🏼‍♀️

I broke relationships & friendships because speaking up & healing myself didn’t feel “safe.”

I’d cut people out with no remorse without explaining how I was feeling. Because navigating conflict felt like I either had to be the villain or the victim, & that made me weak.

Fears, attachment styles, self sabotaging habits, etc — don’t be afraid to dig your own dirt. This could be the very thing keeping you from losing weight, attracting success, finding love or keeping the one you have or had right in front of your eyes.

Lots of love y’all ❤️❤️❤️

April 1, 2021

Don’t be upset about the results you aren’t getting from the work you didn’t do

A client got pissed at me yesterday. I said, “Good, then I’m doin my job.”

I had several conversations yesterday via dm with people letting their mindsets & emotional heaviness get the best of them.

On repeat: You attract what you put out. You cannot become what you want by remaining where you are.

You gotta shift your mindset. Mindset is part of the work.

This particular client, flat refuses to eat more food yet wants to gain muscle & heal. And I get it, it’s a mindfxck.

And I don’t care what goal y’all are chasin in whatever facet of life — DON’T BE UPSET ABOUT THE RESULTS YOU AREN’T GETTING FROM THE WORK YOU DIDN’T DO.

4 things I live by…& letting my weight or my Crohn’s or excuses control me — NOT any of those 3 things…

1.) Be mentally attractive, kind, & be worth knowing. You attract what you put out.

2.) Thou shall not judge because thou has fxcked up too.

3.) You either DO or you DON’T.

4.) 2 things I don’t like to share, toothbrushes & wieners.

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💁🏼‍♀️Slap that last one on a T-shirt.⁣

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January 2021 I picked my word. Actually I picked 2: JOY & SURRENDER.

⁣Book Recommendation: One Word

How I choose mine:⁣

Step 1: Determine the person you want to be & embody. ⁣

Step 2: Identify the characteristics & things you need to do to be that person. ⁣

Step 3: Choose the word that resonates with your person & the life you want to create. ⁣

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I want to know what y’all chose for 2021! What’s your word?👇🏻⁣

March 30, 2021

Why does marriage always have to be the end goal?

She said, “Everyone would be happier if they would settle down & get married.”

Had a lady tell me this yesterday.

Well I have some shxt to say about that…

Why does marriage always have to be the end goal?

I’ve asked myself this on several occasions. Like can’t I just have a life partner I love to build an empire with? Have conversations, travel, ENJOY LIFE with?

I vow to be honest with y’all, as one who has gone thru divorce (twice), & also lived as a girl who always had to be in a relationship in my younger years — this statement could not be more false.

We vilify singledom. Why?

The years I spent single have been the most transformative — & painful. But absolutely necessary.

You have to take time to be the person you wanna be with. That means nurturing yourself, loving yourself, being ok with making mistakes & relationships not working out.

People are our teachers, some relationships are only meant to last a season. Some are meant to last a lifetime. Surrender & let them happen.

You also can’t be afraid to take risks & choose love. Building walls around yourself & not allowing yourself to experience love in whatever context or relationship you need, is also paralyzing. That’s not living life.

Am I proud to say I’ve been thru 2 divorces, no. But I am super proud of myself for trying. I am not afraid to choose love & neither should you but make sure you’re doing it on your own terms & for the right reasons.

You’re going to fxck up in life & others will too. I’m just gonna leave it like this, find the right person or people to fxck up with.

Life is so much sweeter when you live it on your own terms, don’t be influenced by other people’s or society’s expectations of you.

I don’t know who may need to hear these but I’m gonna say it anyways, many of you need a therapist & to date yourself for a while, not another relationship or government sponsored life binding contract.

— Because I care.

Wishing you guys so much love & confidence today, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in❤️

March 28, 2021

The one thing you need to do right now: stop living your life through your phone

My mom told me, “Stop living your life through your phone.” Ooof like a punch in the gut. I knew she was right. (Dxmnit she always is 😆)

I love social media for connection, education, & inspiration. I wouldn’t have a wonderful digital family like y’all without it.

But I knew I needed to set boundaries & clear toxicity around it.

So I detoxed social media accounts. Unfollowed accounts I no longer align with.

I deactivated Facebook for a while, I now only use it for events, clients, & family.

I wrote these words this morning, let this be thought provoking, a conversation starter, & your inspiration for the week. Feel free to tag & share on instagram HERE

Be so in love with your life that watching another person love theirs makes your heart happy, not sad, jealous, or angry.

Be so confident you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, no black cloud of FOMO can swallow you, dim your light, question your worth, significance, or timeline.

Be so obsessed with nurturing your own gifts, abilities, & desires you don’t have time or energy to criticize others because your fulfillment, impact, & journey are more important.

Be the captain of your life. Determine what values matter to you, what life experiences you want, what relationships you want, what body you want, what career you want, the person you want to embody — let those things be your map.

Stop letting other people’s lives & living with expectations & control be your compass & your map.

There’s so much abundance & love out there. Focus on the positive feelings & outcomes you deserve. Everything you want is waiting for you to receive when you learn to fall in love with your life right now, & NOW is all that matters.

You’re exactly where you’re meant to be🤍

I’d love to hear your thoughts & Sunday reflections! Leave’em in comments!👇🏻

March 24, 2021

What being the good girl got me

Who else here is a recovering obliger? A recovering ‘Good Girl or Guy?’🙋‍♀️

Like it didn’t matter what context of life I was obliging, I wanted to oblige because I wanted to be ‘The Good Girl.’

‘Good Girls’ were accepted & safe. They did what was expected of them.

‘Nice’ was accepted & safe. If you’re ’Nice’ then everyone has to like you, right?!

‘Vanilla’ was accepted & safe. It’s like the default choice because you can’t make up your mind what ice cream you want.

The problem I later found as I aged, was ‘Good’ & ‘Nice’ & ‘Vanilla’ really didn’t get me anywhere.

In fact, I loathe the words ‘Good,’ ‘Nice,’ & ‘Vanilla.’

I don’t care if you’re talkin about food, sex, or money, Honey, if you’re describing them as good, nice, or vanilla — I ain’t interested anymore.

I feel they’re the default, you choosing to settle. It’s like being someone’s side chick or guy. You want someone to see you as ‘The One’ — the one that walks in a room & sparkles. Everyone stares. But instead, you were chosen as the default, not ‘The One.’

I feel everyone has had the same experience at some point in their lives, whether it was a friendship, a romantic relationship, or professionally.

My definition of ‘Good Girlitis’ is the unproductive thoughts, feelings, & behaviors that inhibit one’s potential, growth, perception, & enjoyment of the experience & entirety of life.

So think about this if you feel you’re livin life like a watered down cocktail. Are you living as a watered down version of yourself?

I want exquisite, extraordinary, luscious.

Rolls off the tongue a lil sweeter don’t it? 😉

I’d rather be the human that doesn’t do rules, I do what feels right✨

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto Can’t wait to do another one of these!

March 22, 2021March 22, 2021

If I could share only 1 life lesson it would be this

NO.1 REGRET OF THE DYING: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

I had a terminal patient tell me this years back as I finished their CT scan.

@aubreymarcus posted a powerful reminder yesterday, a perfect reminder as we start another week:

“Your future self will look back on your life right now, & wish you could live it again. Not because you want to DO anything different. But because you wish you enjoyed it more.

The number 1 deathbed regret is, “I wish I would’ve let myself be happier.” At the end of our life we realize that happiness is a choice, made in the moment, in spite of whatever is happening.”

☝🏻If I could share only 1 life lesson with you, it would be this.

MANAGE YOUR MIND AND YOU CAN MANAGE ANYTHING.

We get lost in a storm of emotions & expectations — from others, from ourselves, from society.

Emotions around your body, career, & relationships. Some like:

BODY: I need to look like her/him to be more attractive & worthy. When in fact you need to love yourself & body for everything you are, not what you aren’t.

CAREER: I’m not “rich” or successful until I have x in the bank or achieved a certain status. When in fact you’re already rich if you have a career you love, a roof over your head, food to eat, & people who love you.

RELATIONSHIPS: I need a partner to be worthy. Which typically nudges us to settle for people not deserving, or seeking people for purely physical reasons. We blind ourselves to the real secret to finding a partner in life…being self aware, knowing your worth & theirs, learning to build a home in yourself 1st, & embodying the person you seek to be with. The ‘right’ one feels like freedom & home.❤️⠀

There will always be shxt that comes up & temporarily throws your life out of your control, but you choose your perspective & reaction.

When you’re working, work.

When you’re eating, eat.

When you’re listening, listen.

When you’re loving, LOVE.

We’re always living. But the question is, are you living YOUR best life?

Drop a ❤️ if you’re ready. I am. 🤘🏻🔥

March 18, 2021March 18, 2021

The One Thing You Need to Do To Attract Successful Relationships

I said, “Get a life.”⁣
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Had the pleasure of snuggling up with a green beverage & answering questions with a digital friend yesterday on St. Patrick’s day.⁣
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She said, “I just need to pick your brain about some relationship things I’m going through. I respect & appreciate your positive energy sprinkled with such blunt honesty.” ⁣
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I laughed 😄 ⁣
Best compliment I had all day.⁣
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My dad used to say I was a lot like a caged raccoon. They’re attracted to shiny things & look all cute & harmless, but as soon as you stick your fingers in the cage they bite’em off. ⁣
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Thanks Dad. ⁣
If you don’t come from the Midwest or the South you may not understand that metaphor. Lol 😂 ⁣
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I swear I don’t bite 😉⁣
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Anywhoodle…⁣
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She asked, “What’s the 1 piece of advice you would give to someone with codependency in every relationship they seem to have? Because that’s me. I feel I change for every relationship and rely on other people for my sense of happiness which in turn results in failed friendships & romantic relationships.”⁣
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I don’t know about y’all but I felt this woman’s question in my soul. That used to be me.⁣
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I wasn’t happy or felt any self worth unless I had a partner. I would let their energy affect my energy. I would change my interests, wants, & needs to suit their‘s. I would make their life, my life — to the point I felt my purpose was to simply serve them. ⁣
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If you don’t know what codependency means:⁣
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noun⁣

excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.⁣
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Apparently being in a relationship was an illness and an addiction. My Achilles’ heel per se.⁣
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So I told her, “Get. A. Life.”⁣
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You know why we struggle with relationships in today’s society? Because we don’t cultivate a self aware one with ourselves first. ⁣
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Because we don’t connect our souls with one another anymore, we like to connect our social media accounts & swipe right. ⁣
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We communicate with ambiguity. Vapid small talk just to fill silence. We ourselves don’t get clarity on what we really want. ⁣
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It seems when we do fall in love, it’s only after considering if we’re settling or not, whether a person can give us the life we want & fulfill unrealistic desires. ⁣
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We’re blinded by filters. We forget to date one another. We let passion & playfulness & adventure die. We don’t ask what the other needs to be seen, heard, loved, & supported. ⁣
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We look for someone perfect to complete us while we already have the best possible one within us. ⁣
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I’m just gonna say this, ‘singlehood’ has been vilified for way too long. I believe it’s actually the 1 thing people need to experience fully in order to cultivate more successful , meaningful relationships. ⁣
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If you don’t build a home in yourself first & don’t even know who you are as your authentic self, how do you expect to get to know someone else on a deeper level & accept them as they are?⁣
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It truly goes back to self love & self worth. You are seeking these things from other people. ⁣
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High seekers do the same thing. Everything‘s great when it’s new & fun but as soon as the ‘real life’ mundane button is pushed, you become avoidant & seek new highs.⁣
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Yup, calling myself out there too. Queen of the avoidants. Thanks to my therapist for pointing that out.⁣
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Through therapy I learned how being made fun of as a kid affected my relationships & love life. I built walls so high around myself & guarded them with weapons of avoidant attachment, sarcasm & ambiguity. ⁣
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My therapist told me I am REALLY GOOD at acting like I don’t give a fxck. So much so I somehow taught myself how to shut my emotion off & that’s why I was able to cut people out of my life with no remorse.⁣
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Oooof. Fxck me, right?! 😆⁣
Sound familiar? ⁣
Anyone else an avoidant like me? 🤚 ⁣
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Guys that liked me who were attractive, smart, & successful intimidated me whether I liked them or not because I felt I was still that fat girl & not successful enough to be worthy of a relationship with them. My therapist said I placed them in this box of the popular boys at school that used to make fun of me, which wasn’t fair to them or myself. ⁣
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So I’d ‘settle’ for less than men, frankly, as she put it, “Not on on the same level as me.” I did this because subconsciously I knew I was smarter, more successful, and more in control.⁣
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Same with successful women, too. I felt I wasn’t good enough to “sit at the cool kids table.”⁣
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Oooof. Another fxck me.😫⁣
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These are the things you need to hear. I understand it’s not what you want to hear. They’re dirty, & heavy, & gross.⁣
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Find yourself. Date yourself. You have to be whole first. No one completes you or owns your relationship. A relationship is shared, it’s like a Google Drive. ⁣
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What happens is you get into a relationship & lose your life slowly. That relationship then becomes your life, your world.⁣
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Then when something goes wrong in that relationship, or there is conflict, your world comes crashing down because you’ve made that relationship your world.⁣
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We share our life with our partner we don’t give our life to our partner & vice versa. It doesn’t mean to love LESS it means to love SO MUCH your wholeness, & your partners wholeness mean more individually so you can both be POWERFUL AF together.⁣
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Find someone carrying their own bag. ⁣
Find someone that is willing to sit on the floor beside you. Y’all can pack & unpack your bags together. ❤️⁣
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I’ll be right there with you, with a cocktail or coffee, your choice 😉 ⁣
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Oxox Coach K⁣

March 17, 2021

A letter to my soulmate

A woman messaged me this morning & asked how I seemed so happy by myself.

I looked at Pete 🐈‍⬛

He said it was because of him.🙃

— Looking at the vomit on my floor I told him he’s lucky I love him. 😂

She said she struggled feeling “happy” not being in a relationship.

I told her, I’m happy because I’m whole. Another person doesn’t make you whole. We’re here to find the relationships that compliment our wholeness.

The 1st relationship you need to work on is with yourself.

I shared with her a letter I wrote in my journal to my soulmate years ago. I have many newbies around here and I’ll share it again for y’all:

𝘈 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘺, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, & 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘶𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸.

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥, & 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥.

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭.

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 & 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦.

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 & 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘸𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦.

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, & 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 – 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘥.

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, & 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦, 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦, 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵.

Take the risks. Feel free to tag, share, & keep this letter for yourself as a reminder 🤗 ❤️

Love y’all oxox

March 15, 2021

Sorta Sweet, Sorta Beth Dutton

In case you needed the reminder, it’s OK to be sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton. 🤚🥃

Yellowstone.

I have not been so obsessed with a show since Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill, & Sex and the City.

Who else?

I wanna hear what shows you love in comments!!!!👇🏻

Soooo I’m not naturally “feminine” per se.

4 words: Bull in China Shop. 🐮

3 words: Indiana. Corn. Fed. 🌽 😂

I guess I never noticed how rough around the edges I was until a boyfriend criticized me for always throwin sh*t around & slammin cabinet doors.

Drove him nuts.

I said we’ll maybe you’re just fragile🤷‍♀️😆

It made me wanna change myself, however. I thought, well dang, there’s something wrong with me.

I changed for him — & felt a pit of shame.

Ridiculed as my shyer, younger self, I felt less than. I didn’t fit the mold of the “pretty” girls at school.

So I spent the majority of my life tryna change & shrink myself.

I always find myself playing in the “boys club” — the guys girl. I have a very small intimate group of women I surround myself, but I find naturally I’m drawn to being friends with men.

I’m the oldest of 3, I have 2 younger brothers.

Played baseball until I was told I couldn’t play anymore because I was a girl. I still can’t throw underhand worth a sh*t.

I’m good at throwin a football but was told I’m a girl so I couldn’t play football. I have 1 helluva an arm. 💪🏼 My grandfather was the football coach.

I was raised on a farm in a small town in Indiana, treated no differently than my brothers.

We’re raised to be productive, strong, tough — rub some dirt in it you’ll be fine.

I excelled as a student, in the top part of my class, president of my 4-H & FFA clubs, had scholarships to Purdue & graduated magma cum laude. #boilerup

I’m grateful for every single piece of 50 shades of fxcked up that makes me — ME.

I’d tell my younger self 1 thing — you weren’t made to fit in, you were made to move mountains.🏔

Now, remember to be yourself.

Oh, & go light some shxt on🔥✨

#mindsetmonday