Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
I love storytelling. I love storytelling my life & I love hearing people share stories about their lives, emotions, & experiences.
I loathe small talk.
Most likely a big reason I find dating exhausting. Too many people are only willing to scratch the surface of actually getting to know someone, putting in the minimal effort required, vapid conversations.
Hardly anyone actually asks you out on a date or even coffee to meet face to face anymore.
I thoroughly enjoy a confident, masculine man who takes the lead & is on the old fashioned side.
Speaking of old fashioneds, ☝️ point if you too fancy this beloved cocktail of choice. Double ribeye points (I just can’t say brownie😂) if you buy me one AND tell me stories about your ambitions, your big goals, your likes/dislikes, weird thoughts, dreams, whatever – I wanna hear it.
Embrace who you are.
Since freeing myself from the chains of people pleasing & what I thought I “should be” & blazing a path of my own, that painful path has led me to being the happiest I have ever been. It has allowed my light to shine & attract the right people, places, lessons, & opportunities.
Not all these things were rainbows & sunshine & sweet cocktails & coffee that taste like heaven. Some felt like gaping wounds that you poured salt on & chased with a shot of bad tequila or a yager bomb.
GAG.
BAD memories from college. Same with anything peach or that semi resembles jungle juice.
Oprah Winfrey said, “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.”
Happy birthday to Queen O today btw. I love Aquarians, from one “weirdo” to another, I see you.
To all my astrology nerds out there, I’m a Scorpio Rising, Cancer Sun, & Sagittarius Moon. Very much a Scorpio/Sag.
Kinda like I’m the most positive, open minded, free spirited, fun person to be around, but my feelings run deep & I will cut a mf if I have to to protect my peace, my family, my people, & my money.
Today, a reminder to just be you, be weird, be kind to people, get to know one another. And realize you’re never behind, there are no timelines, & fulfillment means something different to us all.
I haven’t traveled the world, but I’ve experienced some really cool places. I’ve lived thru moments of what some people back home would only dream of, but yet, I’ve found more fulfillment in my morning coffee, writing, caring for livestock & my plants, that 1st bite of delicious food, listening to music that brings back smiles & memories, watching the flowers & trees dance, feeling sunshine on my skin, & somehow those are more savory.
I saw a post today by @wittyidiot that I felt in my soul. I know I’m not the only one out there that absolutely thrives being alone the majority of the time.
And I really hope you guys are your own best friend, you really should be.
So hear me out, you’ll appreciate this.
He said: “The people who are comfortable being alone will never waste your time with dating games. All business, zero bullshit. If they’re special, you’ll know and you’ll know you’re special too because they choose to spend time with you over their favorite person, themself.
It’s the last place we want to be. We’re basically interviewing you to replace ourself as our new best friend and we really don’t want to give up that position but we are also intrigued that there is more out there than the echoing cacophony of our own bullshit in our heads.”
✊Preach it brother.
I am at the stage where I don’t simply want to be crazy in love.
Feeling pretty & PRETTY STRONG this mornin. Shamelessly admiring my arms in the freakin awesome lighting🦾 @hotworx.fishers
Your homework is to take time to simply love on yourself today, too. You’re magnificent!
Photo dump on IG of my morning success habits which includes me writing to y’all (& myself) every single day.
Workout at HotWorx Fishers. Loving the new Blast workout!
Post workout breakfast. 1.25 lbs of 80% ground beef #meatbars Airfry. 380. 12 minutes. Did not consume the fat in the bottom of the airfyer to make it leaner. Recipe is on my IG, link in bio & in highlights. I bring an Airfryer to work . Instant Vortex 6qt.
Happy light! I use this portable light everyday for 30 minutes. On Amazon Favorites List on IG. Link in IG Bio.
I had a great workout & sweat sesh while learning & listening to @iamsahararose & @itskrista talk about The Law of One. Well done sisters👏🏼 this was mind-blowing 🤯 & remarkably expansive!
Sparked what I felt nudged to channel & share with you guys:
Uncomfortable truths I wished I had realized & accepted earlier in life …
Here goes…
Happiness is the byproduct of living your purpose. Happiness doesn’t make you happy, having purpose makes you happy. Once you become at peace with your purpose, your life & your body will fall in line. You won’t feel the need to numb & self sabotage with emotional eating, gluttony, self-loathing, overspending, sleeping around, excessive drinking – pick your poison.
Talking with clients & reflecting on my own journey, the reason we self sabotage is because we’re trying to find love & stimuli outside of ourselves & feel we have no purpose, no significance.
It’s like eating when you’re bored. It’s like the elderly & their partner dies or they’re put in a nursing home or you take their keys away, they often expire shortly after. It’s like taking away their purpose.
Gut check moment, right?!
Learn to redirect your mind & you then learn how to redirect your life. It’s your choice.
We all have definitions of heaven & hell. We are all deliciously unique individuals. Just let people BE. Loving someone in the hopes that they will change is not truly loving someone. Truly loving someone is giving them the free will to live as they choose. This includes learning to lovingly release & let people go. Remember everything happens for you not to you. Stop trying to cram a round peg into a square hole.
Not everyone wants to be in the same kind of “relationships.” The definition of a relationship will be different for us all. We’re all One. One Love. There is no right or wrong way to live your life, it’s all an experience of your choosing.
I personally feel there is no requirement to have to slap labels or legally binding contracts on relationships to make them more significant or lucrative.
What “successful” looks like, what “beautiful” looks like…if they make you happy & fulfill some part of you, let it BE & savor the moments. And if you choose at some time to be exclusive or to change your definition in a different way, let that BE & savor the moment or the season. Stop over complicating shxt.
Have a partner who wants to see you thrive & evolve WITH YOU or no partner at all. Y’all, being around energy vampires who’re trying to keep you small is painful af – AND your decision. One of my best friends, as well as myself, have been in a relationship(s) where the other persons needs & goals were always way more important. You felt all that mattered was that you made it as easy as possible for THEM to move forward & be comfortable. If you achieved success, they were jealous, felt you were overshadowing, it was never as good as theirs, & your goals were ridiculous.
Even though we sometimes can’t choose whether we fall in love or not, we can indeed choose whether we stay with someone. There’s a big difference in being alone & lonely. I will repeat this to my very last breath. If your partner constantly dulls your shine & all you feel is your energy waning & seeking to people please, it’s probably the wrong partner.
A rich relationship should be full of support, nourishing challenge, & encouragement. If someone doesn’t want to see you achieve your dreams, they won’t be there when you hit rock bottom either. Sorry Sis, no, quit bullshxttin yourself. And just because a relationship has lasted “a long time” doesn’t mean it’s working.
Life isn’t “fair” it just “is.” If you expect life to be fair, you’ll be disappointed & never reach your potential. Shxt happens, & sometimes, there’s no reasonable explanation for why things happen or why people do what they do.
Ultimately I do believe we manifest our lives & attract what we get, we attract what we are. So think about that & control what you can control, which is your vibration & reaction to things.
There won’t ever be a better time to start. Most people waste their lifetime procrastinating instead of living their desired life because they think there will be a “better time to start.” You never know how much time you have left, & life is certainly too short to postpone experiences that bring you joy. Making a wrong decision is better than making no decision. It’s like that saying I love SO much, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” 😂
Money is simply energy & it has power. No matter if you like it or not — money matters. Learn to love it. Learn to appreciate it. It isn’t bad. It doesn’t make people bad. The vast majority of the global population spends 40+ hours per week working for money. Most people hate their jobs, but stay because they need to “pay the bills.”
Many of us spend a significant part of our lives working for money, I personally LOVE working, it brings me happiness & a feeling of purpose, but most people deny its importance or they let it define them.
Stop denying the power & importance of money & start learning how to use it to your advantage & give back. Make it work FOR you, stop wasting it on useless things, use things love people, invest only in things that bring you joy & upleveling.
Money isn’t everything, but it certainly brings you freedom, the ability to give back, & makes life a whole helluva lot easier & more fun.
Social media can steal your time, energy, & your soul but it doesn’t have to. I have a love-hate relationship with Social media. The trolls make it unbearable some days, haters gonna hate, hurt people hurt people, etc. etc.
Your voice matters, don’t let other people stifle what you want to share with the world. Be proud of your life & your body. You can decide whether you use social media to make your life better or worse. You have control over what you consume & what you see.
Choose to be a creator, not a consumer of content. I loathe the word influencer, I choose to be an Authority. Sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton vibes. 🙅🏼♀️😉 Where my Yellowstone fans at?! 👋
Final thoughts… Life ain’t always easy but it’s always good. It’s a privilege to wake up & be alive. Don’t expect life to be fair, create your own rules. Or do as I do, I don’t do rules I do what feels right.🙃
If you constantly choose comfort & ignorance over courage & awareness, you’ll end up being the puppet of others. If you, however, manage to embrace the following truths, you might be able to design an extraordinarily fulfilling, purpose-driven life earlier than I did.❤️❤️🩹❤️🔥
Ya know I love vacations but I LOVE going home, more. Anyone else like this too?
Back to routine. My home. My gyms. My Pete 🐈⬛. My bed. My people I love.
Gettin ready to head back to Indy tomorrow.
As I did laundry & packed, I let my mind wander. This vacation felt like a huge reflection & reset for me. New beginnings.
A few:
Starting a new job PRN at the VA hospital in Indianapolis soon. PUMPED!
New workout routines & body goals, it’s gainz season y’all 🦾🦿
Purging stagnant & less optimal habits & replacing them with better ones
Purging things I don’t need
Simplifying & optimizing business & life
Being ok letting old friend circles go
Pushing myself to do new things, date, & meet new people
I am actually REALLY excited to enter my 40’s. Something about moving into a new decade makes me feel optimistic & all warm & fuzzy like a deep conversation over an old fashioned or a cup of coffee.
Life really hasn’t turned out as I “expected”
I feel it has turned out better & exactly how it was supposed to.
Kinda like this jumper here. This 5’1, shorty was skeptical about buying it. It was not what I expected – but BETTER. Well done Amazon, well 👏🏼 done 👏🏼 XS fit purrrrfect 😻😆
My younger self thought at 40 I’d have it all figured out, be happily married for decades, picket fence, 2 kids, #merica ….y’all can laugh now.
After 2 divorces I feel like the universe is telling me I make a really good ex-wife 😂 And ya know what? I am. I’m a great ex wife. I love all my exes. I have zero baggage & no hard feelings. I choose to remember the lessons & all the wonderful memories from my relationships.
That thinkin at 40 I’d “have it all figured out thang”…hxll I can’t even fxckin remember where I park my car in the mornings or what day it is half the time.😝
Spiritually I still feel like I’m in my 20s, most days I physically feel BETTER than I did in my 20s.
I say I have a young spirit & a significantly old soul. Dangerous combo.
I look young but inside I’m a baby grandma. Totally ok with it. Some days I can party with the best of them but most days I’m an introvert, don’t ask me to do anything after 8 PM.
It’s like I don’t really know what to do with me? So finally I just said fugg it, I don’t do rules I do what feels right. Especially dating or dressing myself.
I’m at that weird age I really don’t know what’s appropriate, like how to “dress for my age” or “date in my age range”
WTF does that even mean anymore?! 🤔🤷♀️
Someone, if you have the answer please clarify this for me 🙋♀️
I surrendered y’all. I surrendered to the fact that I will continue to get older each year & I don’t have to have expectations at all. Simply just a direction to always be working on bettering myself.
I vow, this year, to settle in & let my 39th year wrap itself around me like a warm & fuzzy Sherpa jacket.
I remind myself that faking happiness & perfection are the quickest way to die on the inside. I remind myself life is what it is & it IS what I make it. Do shxt that makes me happy & brings Joy. Be kind.
Moral of this page from the life of Lilbitoffit:
I’m a 39 yo old woman. I’m flawed & weird af. I don’t love everyone & everything, & there’s plenty of people who do not love me & I could care less.
I am getting wrinkles, sunspots, & I sure as hxll can’t recover from drinking like I used to & way over consume caffeine, but I refuse to give up coffee & making memories with friends & family.
I am still working on loving myself & living a life that makes me proud, fulfilled, & content. And I’m cool with having no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. It’s never boring 😉
Thank y’all for listening to this “middle-aged”rambling.
Cheers to officially being a “cougar” next year 🐆😸
I said, “Get a life.” Had the pleasure of snuggling up with a green beverage & answering questions with a digital friend yesterday on St. Patrick’s day. She said, “I just need to pick your brain about some relationship things I’m going through. I respect & appreciate your positive energy sprinkled with such blunt honesty.” I laughed 😄 Best compliment I had all day. My dad used to say I was a lot like a caged raccoon. They’re attracted to shiny things & look all cute & harmless, but as soon as you stick your fingers in the cage they bite’em off. Thanks Dad. If you don’t come from the Midwest or the South you may not understand that metaphor. Lol 😂 I swear I don’t bite 😉 Anywhoodle… She asked, “What’s the 1 piece of advice you would give to someone with codependency in every relationship they seem to have? Because that’s me. I feel I change for every relationship and rely on other people for my sense of happiness which in turn results in failed friendships & romantic relationships.” I don’t know about y’all but I felt this woman’s question in my soul. That used to be me. I wasn’t happy or felt any self worth unless I had a partner. I would let their energy affect my energy. I would change my interests, wants, & needs to suit their‘s. I would make their life, my life — to the point I felt my purpose was to simply serve them. If you don’t know what codependency means: noun
excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. Apparently being in a relationship was an illness and an addiction. My Achilles’ heel per se. So I told her, “Get. A. Life.” You know why we struggle with relationships in today’s society? Because we don’t cultivate a self aware one with ourselves first. Because we don’t connect our souls with one another anymore, we like to connect our social media accounts & swipe right. We communicate with ambiguity. Vapid small talk just to fill silence. We ourselves don’t get clarity on what we really want. It seems when we do fall in love, it’s only after considering if we’re settling or not, whether a person can give us the life we want & fulfill unrealistic desires. We’re blinded by filters. We forget to date one another. We let passion & playfulness & adventure die. We don’t ask what the other needs to be seen, heard, loved, & supported. We look for someone perfect to complete us while we already have the best possible one within us. I’m just gonna say this, ‘singlehood’ has been vilified for way too long. I believe it’s actually the 1 thing people need to experience fully in order to cultivate more successful , meaningful relationships. If you don’t build a home in yourself first & don’t even know who you are as your authentic self, how do you expect to get to know someone else on a deeper level & accept them as they are? It truly goes back to self love & self worth. You are seeking these things from other people. High seekers do the same thing. Everything‘s great when it’s new & fun but as soon as the ‘real life’ mundane button is pushed, you become avoidant & seek new highs. Yup, calling myself out there too. Queen of the avoidants. Thanks to my therapist for pointing that out. Through therapy I learned how being made fun of as a kid affected my relationships & love life. I built walls so high around myself & guarded them with weapons of avoidant attachment, sarcasm & ambiguity. My therapist told me I am REALLY GOOD at acting like I don’t give a fxck. So much so I somehow taught myself how to shut my emotion off & that’s why I was able to cut people out of my life with no remorse. Oooof. Fxck me, right?! 😆 Sound familiar? Anyone else an avoidant like me? 🤚 Guys that liked me who were attractive, smart, & successful intimidated me whether I liked them or not because I felt I was still that fat girl & not successful enough to be worthy of a relationship with them. My therapist said I placed them in this box of the popular boys at school that used to make fun of me, which wasn’t fair to them or myself. So I’d ‘settle’ for less than men, frankly, as she put it, “Not on on the same level as me.” I did this because subconsciously I knew I was smarter, more successful, and more in control. Same with successful women, too. I felt I wasn’t good enough to “sit at the cool kids table.” Oooof. Another fxck me.😫 These are the things you need to hear. I understand it’s not what you want to hear. They’re dirty, & heavy, & gross. Find yourself. Date yourself. You have to be whole first. No one completes you or owns your relationship. A relationship is shared, it’s like a Google Drive. What happens is you get into a relationship & lose your life slowly. That relationship then becomes your life, your world. Then when something goes wrong in that relationship, or there is conflict, your world comes crashing down because you’ve made that relationship your world. We share our life with our partner we don’t give our life to our partner & vice versa. It doesn’t mean to love LESS it means to love SO MUCH your wholeness, & your partners wholeness mean more individually so you can both be POWERFUL AF together. Find someone carrying their own bag. Find someone that is willing to sit on the floor beside you. Y’all can pack & unpack your bags together. ❤️ I’ll be right there with you, with a cocktail or coffee, your choice 😉 Oxox Coach K
In case you needed the reminder, it’s OK to be sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton. 🤚🥃
Yellowstone.
I have not been so obsessed with a show since Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill, & Sex and the City.
Who else?
I wanna hear what shows you love in comments!!!!👇🏻
Soooo I’m not naturally “feminine” per se.
4 words: Bull in China Shop. 🐮
3 words: Indiana. Corn. Fed. 🌽 😂
I guess I never noticed how rough around the edges I was until a boyfriend criticized me for always throwin sh*t around & slammin cabinet doors.
Drove him nuts.
I said we’ll maybe you’re just fragile🤷♀️😆
It made me wanna change myself, however. I thought, well dang, there’s something wrong with me.
I changed for him — & felt a pit of shame.
Ridiculed as my shyer, younger self, I felt less than. I didn’t fit the mold of the “pretty” girls at school.
So I spent the majority of my life tryna change & shrink myself.
I always find myself playing in the “boys club” — the guys girl. I have a very small intimate group of women I surround myself, but I find naturally I’m drawn to being friends with men.
I’m the oldest of 3, I have 2 younger brothers.
Played baseball until I was told I couldn’t play anymore because I was a girl. I still can’t throw underhand worth a sh*t.
I’m good at throwin a football but was told I’m a girl so I couldn’t play football. I have 1 helluva an arm. 💪🏼 My grandfather was the football coach.
I was raised on a farm in a small town in Indiana, treated no differently than my brothers.
We’re raised to be productive, strong, tough — rub some dirt in it you’ll be fine.
I excelled as a student, in the top part of my class, president of my 4-H & FFA clubs, had scholarships to Purdue & graduated magma cum laude. #boilerup
I’m grateful for every single piece of 50 shades of fxcked up that makes me — ME.
I’d tell my younger self 1 thing — you weren’t made to fit in, you were made to move mountains.🏔
I said, “Well I’m pretty easy to please, don’t tell me what to do, make me laugh, just give me a bowl of meat & I’m happy.” 😂
My gf & I FaceTimed. She said, “I must be too picky, wth is wrong with me.”
I said, “Bxtch you’re askin the girl who’s longest successful relationship has been with a cat named Pete 🐈⬛.”
Laughter is the best medicine😭
Some things I have learned in 38yrs…
✅You can’t send 2 questions to a man in the same msg or next msg before getting a reply to the 1st one. You’ll only get a reply to 1.
✅Stop being the person with a long list of expectations. Just enjoy the experience. If you feel in your gut they’re not someone you vibe with, you don’t owe them a long explanation. Be honest & strong, cut toxicity out of your life. Remember your list of values.
✅You spend the majority of your day rubbing a piece of glass 🤳🏻 Love life fiercely that’s all that matters. Not just the highlight reels. You don’t NEED someone to complete you. No one says you have to be married to be happy.
✅Grocery stores should put carts in the middle where my pride realizes I have too much shxt to carry. Dunno, maybe that’s just me🙃 #ThisIsWhyWeCrossFit
✅Stop thinkin “Nah, they wouldn’t do me like that.” Cause mfs will definitely do you like that. Choose your circle wisely.
✅Love someone enough their happiness is your happiness. Love them enough to know when you have to let them go. What’s meant for you will never miss you. Take risks.
✅When I was young I wanted 2 kids, a picket fence, & married by 21….lets all laugh together. 😂 Live your own timeline.
✅Part of me wants to be an independent woman who makes a shxt ton of money & the other part wants to be a trophy wife with new boobs & the most difficult decision of my day being what cocktail I wanna drink. Your wants & needs will change. Let them.😄
✅Beware of cocktails that taste like juice, before you know you it, you’ll have to pick up your dignity down the street. Treat your body like a trash can & you become the trash can.
✅It’s ok to go thru this phase called “fxck everything.” Do your squats & know your worth. People wanna be around people who bring the joy. Feel the feels but find the sunshine ☀️
