How successful people understand & utilize emotions.
For the past several years I’ve been paying more attention to my emotions & how they affect my life.
They’re fleeting. They change — often. And that’s okay, we’re human they’re supposed to.
I decided instead of letting them control & hinder, I wanted to learn how to harness my emotions to bring more positive things into my life, personally & professionally.
Don’t we all want to get what we want?
— The body
— The money
— The relationships
— The job
Happiness, right?
Things I learned that emotionally successful people do:
1. They acknowledge feelings.
Emotionally successful people are able to identify emotions & understand how they influence behavior, thoughts, & conversations.
I noticed I could do this by observing — myself & others.
Anyone else out there love to people watch?
Reflect on those observations. What did you notice? Did more negative emotions bring upon more negativity? You’ve heard me say it before, thoughts become things. This is what I noticed. I noticed the more I focused on what I didn’t want the more I attracted those into my life.
Like weight gain or fatigue.
Gut problems, health issues.
Toxic people. Arguments.
Debt.
2. They take time for stillness.
Emotions change at the drop of a hat or word. They often result in impulsive decisions which lead to regret.
I realized when I paused and took the time to think about what and how I wanted to articulate something, the more clarity & positive impact I received.
I’ve also said this before, don’t promise/buy/decide things when you’re happy/sad/angry. 9 times out of 10 it will bite you in the a$$.
3. They keep commitments to themselves & others.
There are a number of ways we measure a person’s worth or our own worth. They also can be the deciding factor of success or failure. Are you failing because you’re not keeping your commitments to yourself?
For example, you’re trying to improve your health & lose weight but instead of changing your eating habits & exercise, you give excuses instead.
Are your trying to improve your relationships? Are you putting in the work to improve those relationships or are you ignoring them? Same with you doing the inner work to heal whatever baggage is holding you back.
Words + action hold immense power & emotion. Words are building blocks of your existence & they reflect the integrity of their creator. Since words hold power, it’s both important to speak words that hold positive intentions & be prepared to keep your word to others, as they’re a reflection of your intentions & integrity.
4. They make peace with what they can control, what they cannot, & their reactions.
We can’t control other people & we can’t control our environment. We can create our realities just not completely control every variable. The one thing over which we can exert, & maintain control of, is ourself & the way we respond to every situation.
5. They learn & grow through mistakes.
Be a forever student. We’re human. We’re gonna fxck up. Study, question, research. Success leaves clues. Learn from mentors, read, listen to podcasts, get a coach. One of my favorite apps is Blinkist. For my busy, GSD people – Blinkist condenses books into 10-15 short ‘blinks.’ Saves a ton of time rather than reading or listening to hours of a book.
6. They’re humble & kind.
I don’t know many people that enjoy being around know it all’s & narcissists. There’s a fine line between confidence & arrogance. Value humility. It’s a strength not a weakness. Like my mom always told me, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
7. They practice & preach honesty, authenticity, & live by their values.
Your word & integrity are everything – especially to yourself. Make a list of your values & how you’d like to live & what kind of person you’d like to embody. Base your decisions upon those.
8. They seek first to understand before judging.
Pause to listen, to understand. I promise it will lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships.
9. They’re able to apologize, communicate, compliment & deliver feedback effectively.
Words have power. Give credit where credit is due. People are more likely to cooperate when they feel appreciated & understood. What’s a persons favorite word? — their name. Just a tip 😉
Remember & use people’s names, it makes a lasting impression.
“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie.
Reframe criticism as constructive feedback. People are more likely to view it as helpful instead of hurtful.
10. They master the power of letting go.
Forgive & forget. Hanging on to resentment is like continuously pouring salt in a wound. There’s huge power in the art of letting go. Letting go of toxic people, habits, unnecessary things, social media, etc. Your environment is everything. Choose wisely.
11. They understand, set, & respect boundaries.
Personal boundaries are important because they set the basic guidelines of how you want to be treated. Boundaries are basic guidelines that people create to establish how others are able to behave around them. Setting boundaries can ensure that relationships can be mutually respectful, appropriate, & meaningful.
Hopefully these tidbits I’ve learned help you change & leave your legacy, & as a result, positively change the world
️oxox Coach K
