I have no idea what kind of influence I actually have on people.
I have the tendency to just go about my life, hustlin, trying to be a good human. Tryin to be true to myself, basically spewing my heart & emotions on this thing called the gram.
It’s been really good for me. Therapeutic. Emotionally cleansing.
Like life, it has a dark side too. It can be very energetically heavy trying to be a light & lending ear to so many.
My tendency to live & do & say things unaware of how it really influences other people has its drawbacks too.
My independence alienates people unintentionally.
I don’t typically do things to be hurtful or malicious but they can come off that way.
Reason — I’m really shitty at communication. I don’t realize other people can’t read my mind or energy like I can read others.
I’m working on it.
I’m aware of it now so I don’t have any excuses for myself.
I really don’t know how I’ve affected other people’s decisions, how they feel about themselves, or their perceptions of things.
I do know I want to be the realist, most positive force I can be. I’m grateful y’all allow me to let you know you’re not alone & allow me to put my life, my emotions, my experiences & lessons into words.
Know you can survive anything.
I’ve gotten my heart broken numerous times. I’ve broken hearts too.
I’m currently missing my best friend @_rottier_ like you wouldn’t believe. Japan is not 6 hrs away.
I pulled up my GPS today to take an alternate route to work & it still pulls up his Missouri address first.
Made me wanna cry & I was instantly pissed off at myself. I don’t like being weak. And I thought, “You ain’t got time for this shit, Katie, pull it together. Talk about whiskey glasses, @morganwallen , I’d like a few right now🥃.”
I’ve failed tests in school, I even got suspended in Xray school. 🤷🏼♀️ That authority thing has always been a struggle. 😆
My worst grade in high school was an 86% in Algebra & I thought my overachieving ass was gonna die. I obviously didn’t. And that doesn’t mean shit now.
I’ve been rejected from jobs I thought I wanted only for the right ones to come along later. Ive had hard times with family only to laugh about it later.
I’ve had friends disappoint me, men leave me, hell I’ve abused myself with all the addictions — it was never one thing: disordered eating, over exercising, drinking too much, settling, sabotaging myself, surrounding myself with a hard shell, wishing I could eat like a “normal” person without crohns & special needs.
I did it once, twice, again & again.
And you can too. ❤️
Love y’all
Xoxo