Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
Listen, I have “Crossfit boobs.” Aka card toting member of the #ittybittycommittee to all my newbies round here…confessions of another dirty bathroom photo + Pete 🐈⬛
I am 55lbs lighter now than my heaviest weight. I’m 5’1… snack sized, fun sized, been called a spinner before 💁🏼♀️whatever you wanna call it 😂
Our bodies change hourly sometimes.
I do not have flat abs by the end of the day typically. Y’all it’s called food & we gotta eat. You didn’t get “fat” in that hour, you just ate & lived.
The majority of the time I haven’t washed my hair in a week (I really do only wash it once a week) & I’m standing here in my @jcpenney underwear & @kincaidsmeatmarket in Fishers
I’m lucky to wash my face at night because I’m lazy af & work 60 hrs a week. I need to do better on this account 😂 🧼 Dirtball status x10
Being a sustainable lifestyle lean, eating food ya love, having a supportive community & relationships you love, movin your body & doing workouts you love, havin purpose, fulfillment, & happiness are so much sweeter than any piece of cake or savory piece of bacon or any shredded ab or muscle striation I could ever have.
I’m telling you this because I know there are a lot of you in the same spot I was. Still self sabotaging on the weekends.
I spent decades fighting against my body’s needs. Chronically dieting, eating food that triggered tons of physical & emotional problems, getting nowhere. Nowhere but pissed off until I learned about food, owned what diet & fitness I wanted to do, how to periodize my nutrition properly, & the fact I actually needed to EAT.
In all reality it took me a decade to build the body that you see in front of you.
It’s really simple now guys I just eat meat because I love it & it makes me feel good. And I eat a lot of it. At least 2lbs a day. Some days that I’m really hungry I can smash 3lbs & I’m 105lbs. You can eat & eat well.
THINGS YOU LOSE CHRONICALLY WORRYING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT:
🦄Your vibrance
🦄Your joy
🦄Your clarity
🦄Your flexibility
🦄Your mind
🦄Your relationships
🦄Your energy
🦄Your life
Remember, the diet you follow doesn’t matter. Your ability to adhere to that diet protocol does. Your body’s metabolic state & ability to appropriately adjust to that diet does.
Here’s your reminder: Don’t spend your life fighting against yourself. You have so much more to offer the world than worrying about what someone else thinks of you.
We weren’t meant to live in a constant state of restriction. Feeling like sh*t, no energy no matter how many coffee or Bangs I shoved down my pie hole, chronic constipation, no body comp changes, cold all the freakin time – THAT was my normal back in the day.
I committed every sin I’ve talked about here on the interwebs. I used to CrossFit my a$$ off hours a day 7 d/wk on 1500 calories, eating all the carbs & plants, wrecking me mentally & physically. I wondered why I could never recover & I never looked “jacked” like other female athletes that weren’t working “half as hard” & eating twice as much as me.
Like a fine wine bitches. 😉
Fast forward today, my 39 year old self finally fit the puzzle pieces together & learned not to fear food, not to see it as something I had to earn or burn off. I’m 5’1, 105lbs. I workout 5 d/wk, I lift & CrossFit, I walk a lot, and I eat ALOT. I avg 1850-2000 calories a day most days, primarily ground beef, eggs, lamb, & Perdue ground chicken.
Reminder, maintenance calories are how many calories we can eat in a day & maintain optimal body function without seeing any changes to muscle & fat composition. In other words, chillin like a villain.
If you’re eating below where you need to be calorically & basically feeling the exact opposite of the signs we’re talkin about in the slides of this post, you most likely need to do what’s called a reverse diet. Don’t know how? I have a whole 354 page EGuide with a section dedicated to this very subject.
Included are some things you may not want to hear:
A healthy body loses body fat & any weight you gain in the process of gaining health is weight you needed to gain.
It may take years to get the body you want going through numerous periodization cycles.
There is a cost to being a certain level of lean.
That athletic body you covet just may weigh more than you think.
Unless you’re a newbie & never worked out before or dieted, fat loss takes a calorie deficit, muscle gain takes at least maintenance & more likely surplus. Pick one. You cannot do both at the same time.
Also, our bodies are all different. What weight & body fat % one person is might work great for them as far as hormonal & metabolic health, others it may not be optimal & you may need to eat more to remedy any issues.
And if you refuse to eat more when you need to restore your health, you have far pressing more important issues than looking good in a bikini.
I used to crave all the sweets. Could smash an entire pan of brownies, boxes of cereal, gallons of ice cream — & I did in the thick of my binging & disordered eating. Followed by days of guilt, inflammation, pain, & more hunger.
Tap for full post with cheat sheets!
Thank God every day for this carnivore lifestyle. This is an important post, please SWIPE, save tag & share freely with someone who needs to hear it or if it’s a simple reminder for yourself.
We think we crave chocolate, cookies, brownies, & ice cream, but our hunger truly is for somethin much deeper, somethin much more nourishing.
Things like love, significance, fulfillment, & connection are what we really crave.
When we allow ourselves to FEEL & RECEIVE & have these things, it’s far more satisfying than treats, overindulgence, & temporary pleasures.
If you feel constant, ravenous hunger, know you are probly feeling undernourished & unfulfilled in more ways than just food.
❌Watch your words, they’re powerful!
“Diet starts tomorrow, or Monday, etc”
“I deserve a ‘cheat meal’ or ‘treat’ because I’ve been, ‘good’ all week.”
“I messed up my diet, might as well splurge & start again Monday.”
“If I eat that I’ll need to make sure I workout enough to burn it all off.”
“I’ll be happy when I reach my goal weight.”
“I don’t deserve to eat that, Ima failure.”
“I can’t do that until I lose the weight.”
Look deeper for what you truly need. Maybe its a walk with a friend, a deep convo, GRACE, a hug, doing something nice for someone else just because, or quiet time with God/the Universe/the Collective or whatever you believe.
⠀Without connecting with ourselves, forgiving our past, & getting real honest on the bullsh*t sandwiches we’ve been feeding ourselves & understanding what TRUE nourishment is — we remain unfulfilled & hungry.
If you are feeling disconnected & lost, my door (& DMs) are always open 🚪💌📲
I have a whole 354 page guide with an entire section dedicated to emotional eating and things to help you. Click below ⬇️
Raise your hand if weekend eating is your nemesis & you feel you just can’t shake the carb cravings🤚 I understand it’s a problem at work too! Especially around the holidays.
I was this person for years. “I’ll start my diet on Monday. I already ruined my day, might as well eat what I want”…sound familiar?
Or the, “I had a stressful week or I was good all week so I deserve this.” mentality.
Chasing fitness goals doesn’t mean you can’t go out & have a good time, but for many of us we’re stuck in this disordered, scarcity mindset constantly set on replay.
The biggest shift to make if you want to start winning your weekends & kicking your food/sugar addiction is to deal with your inner baggage & change the way you talk & think of yourself.
On carnivore especially, make sure you’re eating enough food to support optimal body function & your goals. These are called your maintenance calories.
Hydrate, often times we’re thirsty not hungry. Take your electrolytes. Cut the artificial sweeteners.
Keep your mind busy. The answer is always walk. Boredom & stress are huge triggers to emotionally eating.
Make sure you’re eating enough protein & fat! Not only do we need fat for healthy hormones & protein for lean muscle mass & tissue building, they help keep you satiated too.
Once you remove the carbs & sugar I promise the easier it becomes & less cravings you will have.
I’m gonna say it again…if you constantly restrict food all week & constantly tell yourself that, well, I f*ck up every weekend…guess what? You’re never gonna become the person or have the health & body your desire because you’ve told yourself you’re a f*ck up.
Do you really want to stay a slave to food addiction, disordered eating, & “I’ll start my diet on Monday?”
I get it, I did it to. But there comes a time you get fed up enough you decide to make a different choice. You’re not alone.
Swipe through, let me know if these resonate with you! Share this post freely with your friends! Post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CYG6wb7O331/?utm_medium=copy_link
Tap for IG post with all the cheat sheets!!
Share your struggles, tips, & experiences with your fellow warriors below 👇
This morning I I realized how messed up my relationships were.
I thought about chapters in the past, the struggles in particular. I talked about overcoming struggle yesterday.
(If you haven’t, check that blog out. I needed to hear it myself too. A swift kick in the🍑)
Food, body image, money, & love are all connected. My 29 year old self & sure as sh*t my 19 year old self had NO IDEA.
It all comes down to energetics & the way you FEEL about yourself.
I told y’all my body image issues, eating disorders, & fxckd up relationship with food & myself started at the age of 8.
I never felt pretty or significant. We had “enough” as a hardworking family of 5, growing up on a farm.
But as a child, often material “wealth” outweighs the truly important things like kindness & service.
So if you don’t have certain things or dress like the cool kids, you’re picked on & told that you’re poor & less worthy.
If you’re not skinny like the popular kids you’re told you’re fat & not worthy of love.
This wrecked my relationships with love, food, & money for decades.
As a result I racked up credit card debt to buy things to make myself feel more worthy.
I over ate & under ate to control my body thinking reaching a certain size would make me worthy of love. Exacerbating my poor health, disordered eating, & gut issues.
My romantic relationships we’re like rainbows of confusion, struggle, & continuously feeling lost.
We place value & control on specific things for validation in hopes of making ourselves FEEL a certain way.
Usually the feelings we’re chasing are to be loved, seen, heard, worthy, significant, & included.
We want to be CHOSEN & LOVED.
Over spending
Discounting & under valuing
Emotional eating & Disordered eating
Over exercising
Giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them
People pleasing & playing small
Excessive drinking & drug use
In American society we tend to value thin bodies, financial wealth, titles, material wealth, “fitting in & following suit.”
Improvement in all of these areas of my life started with changing my mindset, my energetics around my worth, reminding myself money is just energy, thoughts became things & I controlled my reality by my reaction, reminding myself there is so much abundance in this world, I matter simply because I exist & because I have a kind heart & choose a life of service & purpose.
I felt some of you out there may have needed to hear this message this morning & know that you’re not alone.
I may be known as a “nutrition coach” & “Xray tech”, but a reminder there are so many more facets to you than labels, food, money, & body image.
And my doors are open if you need a listening ear who accepts you as perfectly imperfect as you are.
And what you are is incredible simply because you’re YOU.💕
Q: I can’t seem to control my weight, portions, & sugar cravings no matter what diet, currently Carnivore. Some days I’m not hungry.
So I asked her, “What’s your 1st thought in the morning when you wake up? Is it how much you’re scared you weigh?”
She said yes. I said that’s your problem.
Also asked her, “Do you intentionally make sure you are simply moving & hitting your steps every day?”
She said no. I also said there’s your problem.
One thing you can easily control which will also boost your mood, metabolism, digestion, & appetite👉🏻Build a success routine which includes movement. I suggest 1st thing in the morning. That leaves less time for excuses for you not to get your workouts in. I got mine this mornin before work.
When you’re constantly stuck in a negative mindset around dictating your entire day on a number or what you look like in the mirror, that’s the weight actually weighing you down.
You dictate your reaction. Your thoughts & emotions (your REACTION to things) – dictates your behaviors. Your behaviors become your habits. Your habits become you.
Tips we talked about to help navigate sweets cravings, addiction, & mindset around body image:
– Stop body checking in the mirror. Take away the scale. Wear comfy clothes that complement your body. You wear your clothes, your clothes don’t wear you.
– Sweets cravings are addiction: determine if you’re an abstainer or moderator. If you’re an abstainer you need to avoid carbs & sugar, period. Get the food out of your house. Watch artificial sweeteners, keto treats, cheat days, gum, drinks with sweetener, make sure you’re eating enough food especially enough fat. Track if you don’t know!
– Cheese, dairy, nuts, & nut butters can be addictions/triggers, they’re hard to portion control.
– Choose meats easier to portion control like ground meat vs ribeyes, ribs, pork belly, bacon. They are highly palatable (& high fat) which means you’re more likely to eat past satiety.
– You may need a multivitamin to fill in gaps for your specific needs. Always consult with your physician before making any changes. Most common imbalances/deficiencies I see with Carnivore if not eating a well rounded variety: vitamin D, electrolytes, magnesium & sodium, B vitamins, zinc, vit A, calcium & vitamin C
– Check yo stress: Relationship & life stress? Sh*tty sleep? Over training? Under eating? Too much protein? Not enough Fat? Still eating trigger foods? Over caffeinating? ALL STRESS which increases your blood sugar, & increases inflammation even if you’re eating low-carb.
Your reflection in the mirror does not dictate your worth. Neither does what diet you choose to follow. Choose the things that make you a better human!
I had no idea when I lost my normal period in my early 20’s something was wrong.
Admission: chronic exerciser & habitual dieter.
At 25 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer & had part of my cervix removed. Went through divorce number 1 at 27, had a high stress job & lifestyle.
Discovered Crossfit in my early 30’s, which was like chasing a bad shot of cheap tequila with another bad shot of cheap tequila. Exacerbated my tendency for extremes.
I was overly stressed, under fed, experiencing Crohn’s flares, over training — I completely lost my period. Basically I just ignored it. I didn’t care I was just trying to chase PR’s.
At some point in your life, you’ve probably declared that your period is a major pain in the tush. But while it may be a nuisance it’s a good insight into your overall health & one we use as a biofeedback marker to help you achieve your health & fitness goals.
A recent article by Outside Magazine explained how common these issues are with female athletes & avid exercisers:
“Researchers estimate that as many as 60 percent of exercising women may experience one component of the female athlete triad, which includes disordered eating, loss of a menstrual cycle, and loss of bone density.
When an athlete’s nutritional intake doesn’t meet the body’s needs, whether due to reduced dietary intake—intentional or not—or increased exercise, the body shuttles resources to systems that are essential to survival, suppresses energy-intensive processes like menstruation and growth, and alters hormone levels.”
Cred: @theglowingfridge
Quick tips on what your period tells you:
Bright Red Blood
Means you are simply at the beginning of your cycle. The ‘fresher’ the blood the more red it’ll be.
Darker Brown Blood
Brownish blood is basically just older blood that’s been in your uterus for a lot longer than fresh blood. It’s had a chance to oxidize. Can also be prevalent if you have an IUD, especially the progesterone kind. This is because you’re shedding a smaller amount of the uterus lining every month, which means the blood stays in there longer.
Clotting
Totally normal, but if you have large clots on a regular basis, they could be indicative of a larger problem like hypothyroidism, uterine fibroids, symptomatic anemia, or heavy bleeding (menorrhagia).
Irregular or Absence (Amenorrhea)
Occasional irregular periods may be totally normal, but it could also be a red flag. For starters, stress is a huge culprit.
When you’re stressed, your body produces more cortisol. Elevated cortisol levels can block signals that lead to the release of an egg that then leads to your period.
Other Common symptoms related to overdoing it, warranting an overhaul:
Irritability, mood swings
Cold extremities, hair loss, gut issues, bad digestion, bloating
No sex drive, Irregular or no menstrual cycle
Increase in belly fat, unexplained weight gain, plateaus
A prevalent problem in the fitness scene as discussed above: UNDER EATING & OVER TRAINING resulting in amenorrhea
Experiencing this myself first hand, here is some advice to help you destress & rebalance — not only to help you get your period back, but to also move the needle forward towards achieving your fitness goals.
Tap for link to all info
Tips to Help
EAT. Eat enough food to support body systems & your activity
The number one reason athletes & avid exercisers lose their cycle & go down a rabbit hole of metabolic adaptation & basically life sucking.
We’re preconditioned to think 1200 calories is the magic number to eat to lose weight. We spend endless time punching numbers in calculators that have no idea our medical history, lifestyle, stress level, or the fact we think sugar free jello & rice cakes dipped in Walden Farms Syrup are meals. Invest in a coach y’all, life isn’t a template or calculator. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
We underestimate the calories and nutrient dense foods needed to support muscle growth to get the ‘tone’ that every woman talks about but refuses to eat & lift weights accordingly to gain. We also tend to over exercise & do too much HIIT & cardio on top of under fueling. Focus on strength training & reduce high intensity activity.
When we don’t eat enough, and/or our body fat is very low, we don’t have enough energy stores to efficiently support body functions like reproduction. As a result, hormones and body systems down regulate (like your period & thyroid function) to survive.
Many women can have trouble losing weight and may even gain weight when eating a chronic deficit over a period of time. This is typically due to the down regulation of thyroid hormones that slow down metabolic rate. This has become commonplace in women who are training hard, competing, repeatedly doing HIIT style workouts like CrossFit and the Orange Theories without adequate food and recovery.
Find the “Right” Diet for YOU
Look, I tried to do paleo for years trying to run and CrossFit despite not being able to properly break down fruits, vegetables, nut & seeds. Add it to my list of dumb shxt Katie learned the hard way.
Not only did my physique not change, my performance suffered, my recovery suffered, I was sore all the time, pissed off, bloated, and hangry.
I was officially finally diagnosed with Crohn’s in 2018. Guess what my body cannot digest and absorb? Nuts and seeds, fibers, raw fruits & vegetables.
Guess what makes up the majority of the Paleo diet? All of the above.
We need adequate food and the right kinds of foods for our unique needs for lean muscle gain, recovery, reproduction, healthy hormone balance, and cortisol control. More food is not automatically going to cause you to gain weight and go into the dreaded ‘fat storage mode.’
Carbs are by far the most insulin-stimulating macro & antagonist to your cortisol level (stress hormone). So if you’re eating a low carb diet and performing highly glycolytic activities like CrossFit, all the boot camps and Orange Theory‘s, your insulin levels will be low. If you have a good relationship with carbs & can digest them with ease, they’re not the devil. You may need to incorporate more into your diet if you feel things are “off.”
Your body senses that resources are limited and down regulates accordingly.
Now, with that said, carbohydrate requirements will vary. We all have different fitness goals, train in different modalities and metabolize carbohydrates to varying degrees.
If you are one with PCOS, for example, you may do better on a lower carb approach but lifestyle and training needs to be tailored appropriately. Work with a qualified practitioner.
If you don’t know how many calories to eat for your activity I wrote a phenomenal post and resource on that here. Below are helpful infographics to guide you to more optimal choices.
Meat based macro ratios more applicable for healing & muscle gain phases
Meat based macro ratios more applicable for maintenance phases
Remember, standing on the podium or holding that medal in your hands doesn’t require you to have abs. Athletes don’t eat less & train more, they eat more & train intentionally.
Make Sleep a Non-negotiable
We should be sleeping well for at least 7-9 hrs per night. Make sure your environment is:
Cool & dark
Shut off electronics an hour or so before bed
Read & wind down with things that are relaxing
Keep caffeine <200 mg per day ideally and only in the mornings
This transitions into what it means to be metabolically flexible…
What we want is Metabolic Flexibility
I used to be a huge sugar burner. I didn’t understand why I had energy crashes, craved carbs & was hungry all the time despite eating plenty of food. Even when I was eating in a surplus, training for performance & muscle gain. I was eating plenty of meat paired with more rice, rice Chex, & rice cakes – no matter how large my meals were I was always hungry like 2 hours later. It was super frustrating & not convenient at all as I work in healthcare & don’t have time to have meals every 2 hours. I fluctuated from a sugar burner, to metabolically flexible, & everywhere somewhere in between during my health & fitness journey. Since going meat-based with my diet I no longer have these issues of being a “sugar burner.” I now can incorporate smaller portions of white rice based carb around training occasionally with minimal negative issues. I really don’t crave them anymore. Becoming metabolically flexible, which just means you’re able to burn both glucose & fat as fuel, was the biggest life changer. It took a lot of experimentation & patience but there is light at the end of the tunnel for y’all! I can easily fast overnight & in between meals for hours, without having to force it or feel like I want to rip someone’s head off because I’m hangry lol! I don’t have to worry about multiple snacks available at all times because I have to eat every 2 hours. That’s food freedom for me. Here are a couple cheat sheets simply to help educate & help you along your health journey!
PR’d this 5k fat fueled & fasted, metabolic flexibility is where it’s at y’all!
Stop ignoring the problem, seek help from a qualified doctor, health practitioner, & coach. Your quality of life hinges on it❤️ I’d love to hear yall’s experiences & if you struggled with this like me!
Experiencing any of the problems above in this blog?
If you’re an athlete or woman struggling like I did, and need personalized help tailoring your nutrition, work with me one on one HERE.
Don’t forget to share this with the women in your squad who deserve to be well-fed!
Confessions of another dirty bathroom photo… Dis me. I’m awkward af trying to get body photos. I dunno how to properly “pose.”😆 but I’m glad I do. They make me proud of how far I’ve come & what my body & mind are capable. Just a friendly reminder you can do whatever shade of the Carnivore Diet you want (or any other diet for that matter). I feel I’m speaking for the majority of us meat-based folk who love this lifestyle because it works for us. I’m 2 years in. We really don’t care what you eat or what your body looks like as long as you’re happy & healthy. It’s really none of our business what you eat every day, what workouts you do, what your body looks like, if you show your body & journey or not. We just love happy people. Be nice to each other. I feel I needed to reiterate that again. I know some people say we all have the same 24 hours in a day, & literally we do, yet realistically we don’t. I preach being a DOer. Yes, you either DO or you DON’T. But be nice to those who have children or special circumstances which make going to the gym or a certain fitness goals challenging. I’m not giving excuses for “lazy” people but just asking you to be nice. Perfection is never needed, but do remember EFFORT matters no matter what your circumstance & you can still be a person that keeps COMMITMENTS to yourself in whatever way YOU need. As for shades of “carnivore”…some of us eat a little bit of carbs. Some don’t. Some eat organs, some don’t. Some just eat beef, some don’t. Doesn’t matter. I for one can do a little bit of plain rice cakes/white rice as far as starchy carbs. I keep these around my workouts if I’m going to incorporate some. I do that because that’s when my body metabolizes & utilizes them the most efficiently for performance & recovery. I don’t eat them often or every day, I simply eat them when my body is telling me I need them. I also incorporate leaner, lower fat days with higher fat days. This too varies & I also listen to my body & eat accordingly. I’m happy in maintenance. I notice after 2-3 days of eating lower fat, I crave more fat. Because I most likely need more calories, especially after hard training days. My fat macros vary. Protein is around 160-200g most days. I also am very active, CrossFit, & lift weights. So what I do may not work for you. I posted a guide for optimizing eating for workouts yesterday, save tag & share that post. Great resource! This style of eating works very well for me, my needs, & my body is responding well. I’m leaner than I ever have been before, eating 1800-2000+ calories on avg & ~2-2.5lbs of meat/day. Lean days I prefer ground chicken, shrimp, & 90% ground sirloin. High fat days I enjoy 80-85% ground beef & lamb, eggs, & ribeyes. My crispy airfryer #meatbars are LIFE & I eat them every day because I love them. And I’m so happy y’all are loving them too! Tag away! I also haven’t had a Crohn’s flare or binge since I went meat based 2 years ago — the best part! Yes, people look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them I really just eat meat AND I prefer “CrossFit.” People told me I couldn’t do it. My bloodwork, mental clarity, energy level, & physique say otherwise. 😉 Listen to you body’s. I am happy to share my experiences & I fully admit I made a lot of mistakes on the way, I didn’t always feel well, I initially gained 15lbs & I wanted to stop numerous times along my journey. Any diet that serves you best mentally & physically & is high in bioavailable nutrients will always be better than one that lacks the essentials your body needs to function properly. Love y’all Peace love & meat 🥩
Going to take a different spin to answering y’alls questions today and I feel no matter what you are wanting to change or bring into your life this is how you’ll get it.
This really has nothing to do with a specific diet, macros, or workouts, BUT everything in your life stems from healing & cultivating a better relationship with just 2 things: knowing your worth & you’re enough & putting action behind it.
You see you can go to the best doctors or hire all the best practitioners & coaches in the world but if you don’t believe in yourself, that you are worthy of whatever you’re seeking or wanting to heal, you’ll never get it.
We go to coaches & doctors for the “answers,” often seeking more numbing mechanisms to cover up the underlying issue which is us not believing in ourselves. We numb with excess food, shopping, alcohol, giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them, etc. So I can sit here & give you all the specific diets, macros, & workouts, but they don’t fxcking matter if you don’t believe in yourself & that you’re worthy of these things. That means being able to apply the information as well, & if you’re paralyzed by your beliefs, the application won’t happen either.
For example, chasing beauty, love & success, even if you attain these things, they won’t bring you happiness & love unless you love yourself. Look at Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Robin Williams, Heath ledger… just had this conversation with one of my best friends the other day while watching A Knight’s Tale with Heath Ledger. These people were so immensely talented & yet they took their own lives because they didn’t love themselves.
Ladies, some of the most beautiful models in the world, the most successful people in the world get left in relationships, are lonely, & are not happy because they don’t love themselves. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and the beholder is you.
When traumatic experiences happen to you, like maybe you were left as a child, or someone left you in a relationship, if you start to believe you’re not enough, & these things pile up on top of you, & you don’t learn to unpack your bag — they will suffocate you & take over your life.
“Bad” shxt happens, but if you seek changing your personality, or chasing a body aesthetic to attain “happiness” you will forever be unfulfilled, you’re not really treating & healing the underlying issue which is you believe you’re not enough. I did this, I did this for decades & chased a smaller body thinking it would make me happier — it did not. It may temporarily give you that “high” but you won’t stay there. You won’t stay there until you become the person you want to be & cultivate those success habits & commitments to stay the person you desire to be.
So take all these talented amazing people like the actors, actresses, models – all these successful people we think have everything, but do they? It’s easy to hide behind & be fooled by filters, editors, & facades.
Take us as young girls or boys, we often times chase after boys & girls, we try to change ourselves, we try to please our parents, please teachers, please other people & where does it get us?
Love & worth are not to be chased, earned, or worked for – just like food, they are essential for life.
Watch your world change when you start to love yourself. It’s like the “Beauty is not the rent we pay to exist in this world.” We matter just because we exist. I have this on a post it on my mirror.
As children what happens is we have unmet needs. We want to be loved, we want to be safe, we want to be viewed as successful & significant & we encounter disappointment in these areas. We begin to believe that our needs will never be met & we are not enough which transcends into our adult lives.
There is no one thing in this world that can meet your unmet needs other than yourself.
To feel beautiful & loved you don’t need to change your shape or get surgery or whatever you seek to change your appearance, the one thing you need to do is believe you are loved & lovable because that is what you will attract in your life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself or change something as long as it comes from a place of self loving & not self loathing. Your foundation has to be set on true self love.
People love you & see your significance & appreciate you to the degree that you love & see your significance for yourself.
Think about it, when people say good things about you like, “You’re beautiful, my goodness you are so talented, I just love to hear your voice, etc” — all these good things are warm like a fabulous cup of coffee or that cocktail you love you that warms you from the insides. Exude that energy & other people will see it & you’ll notice better things will come into your life when you vibrate at this high energy. You can choose this feeling right now. Don’t give other people or things that power with which you hold within yourself.
Because when these things leave you, we tend to feel poorly about ourselves. Remember we attract everything that is aligned to our energy. What is meant for you will never miss you & if it’s meant to leave let it go. Release it with a loving heart.
When you learn the art of unattachment, that’s when you start a lifelong romance with your life. One that is fulfilling. One that will give you the body that you want, the feelings that you want, the experiences that you want, & the people that you want, and it all starts with you.- Not a diet, not another person, not the right workouts, or meal plan, or macros.
So how do we do it? You have to learn to nourish your soul like you nourish your body. You have to nourish your mind. Tell yourself what you want to feel & what you want to hear & paint a different picture. Tell yourself you are beautiful & you have a fabulous life & ove being in the sunshine & you have people who love you simply because you are you. Paint that picture & believe it.
Create vision boards. I love Pinterest & save quotes that make me feel alive, loved, understood. I save pictures of the healthy body I want & how I feel. I save pictures of relationships goals & the person I want to be & I want my partner to be. Embody the habits of that person you want to embody & put them in place to get what you want. You have to put action behind the desires, too.
Set your clothes out in the morning to make it easy for yourself to go work out. TImeblock walks in your schedule. Meal prep your food ahead of time so you have good things to eat. Book self care & time to yourself. Unapologetically own your fxcking life & quit letting other people influence your life & live it for you. Don’t let them influence you by putting down a specific diet or things that you love, or telling you you’re weird & you need to change. That’s giving other people power.
The longest relationship you’ll have in your entire life is with you. Kids grow up. Partners leave or they die. Your parents pass. Friends will come and go. But you always will be with yourself until your very last breath.
Believe you are worth it.Because you are. Remember if beauty made you happy every beautiful person would be happy. A bodybuilder knows you have to break down muscle & build it back up & let it recover over & over again to get the body they want — a wounded, broken heart is just the same.
