Relationships – Page 5 – lil bit of fit

February 5, 2023

Icing or The Cake?

The past couple years have felt really different, this year especially.

I told myself this year was my year. It was the year of “F*ck yeses only & no lateral moves because lateral moves don’t mean a level UP.”

My bff sent me a TikTok about cake vs icing. How we think icing is always the most important end goal & oftentimes we miss out on how good & more important the cake may be.

Both are important but it’s truly about dose & ratios & what’s appropriate for you at the moment.

It’s like wanting shredded abs (icing) but missing the more important goal of a healthy, happy, body you love (cake).

Or it can be like wanting partnership (cake) but truly wanting & deserving that partnership that sets your soul on fire (icing).

I wanted to remind y’all of something really important when it comes to any kind of relationship…& that can mean dating or partnerships, friendships, work-spouse relationship, parent-child, & that is this: I want to invite you to be the cake & to let everyone else in your life be the icing on the perfect cake that is you.

🤷‍♀️If you don’t like cake, that’s fine. Sub in pie🥧 💁🏼‍♀️Honestly, really, I’m more steak 🥩 than cake, but be the steak doesn’t have the same ring to it so here we go with be the cake 🍰

We often enter into relationships & make decisions from our codependent & people-pleasing habits with the desire for other people or bad habits to fill a gaping hole in our hearts & our lives.

You are the cake to end all cakes, everyone else is a delightful addition to your life, not the main attraction.

Commit to cakeful (or steakful) living. When you live in a space of freedom, self love, & empowerment, you allow yourself to be the icing for someone else.

Honor the people who are your icing 🧁 & the space where you are the cake 🍰 (or steak 🥩) 😉

oxox Coach K #sundaychurch

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January 31, 2023

How To Read People and Get What You Want

No matter what your profession or relationship status, effective communication is imperative.

I’ve worked in healthcare, sales & consulting, & as a nutritionist for almost 18 years. I’ve learned much from every experience & person I’ve met along the way. They’ve helped me not only learn more about myself, but others & in turn “get what I want.”
Because let’s not bullsh*t ourselves, at the end of the day we want to get what WE want, right?!

I learned I needed to recognize & understand someone’s energy &/or read a room in order to better help & serve.

What most people don’t know is that when you change your energy & learn to communicate well, you change your life!

Your perceptions & energy are powered by your thoughts, emotions, experiences & how you see the world.

So if you want to feel happier in life, you need to communicate well, be present & assertive, raise your vibration, learn how to portray yourself in the way you desire to be interpreted — & vice versa with other people.

The 1st step of any change or observation is awareness. When you become aware of your own energy, then you can start to transform it. Moreover, raising your energy & self awareness will help you recognize that of others.

This is helpful in business, parenting, dating & relationships (platonic or romantic) because you’ll have a better idea of who & whose energy you want to be around & boundaries you need to put in place.

The power of observation is a necessary tool in learning how to read people. In these situations, nonverbal cues (posture, body language, clothing/hair, personal style, habitual behaviors, gestures, facial expressions) will give you more information than verbal or written cues.

And remember, while your interpretation of someone may or may not always be accurate, I’ve found when you’re solid in trusting yourself & observing WELL, your intuition is rarely wrong.

Hope this helps y’all!
Oxox Coach K

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bio carnivore lilbitoffit katie kelly indiana fishers — Hailing from Fishers, Indiana, Katie is an aficionado of health, mindset, human connection, & entrepreneurship. Motivational writer, speaker, doer of many things, she grew up on her family’s beef cattle & crop farm where agriculture was her first love. She is a Purdue University graduate well known for her storytelling of life lessons & personal transformation through her own relationships, financial struggles, Crohn’s Disease, disordered eating, CrossFit, & adapting a carnivore diet lifestyle.

Katie also has over 17 years experience as a Registered Radiologic Technologist, Nutritionist, & Sales Consultant. She works with people of all walks of life as a nutritionist & personal life coach to help them authentically optimize their lives to find health, wealth, & happy!

You can catch her via Instagram @lil_bit_of_fit & blog, Lilbitoffit.com

http://www.instagram.com/lil_bit_of_fit

January 29, 2023

The Older I Get the More Self Aware I Grow & The More I Realize These Things…

Something my life journey has shown me is that the more I heal & love myself as I am, the more grounded & peaceful life becomes.

A hard lesson I learned 👉how & when to adjust. It’s hard because often times as painful af & you don’t wanna do it.

The older I get, the less I feel the need to perform.

the less I feel the need to shrink & settle.

the less I feel the need to chase.

the less I feel the need to overextend & over-explain.

The older I get the more I realize that I’m not interested in things or relationships that are not physically, mentally, emotionally nourishing, stimulating & rooted in authentic loving intentions.

MOOD: I’ve changed & evolved into a better version of myself. I’m choosing different & walking tall with fresh energy. I attract all that I desire to my highest alignment. Healing & self awareness are my superpowers. Growth is good to me. I love me, my body, my mind, & spirit. I now choose to stand in my power for good.

Drop a ❤️ if you’re in this season.

Swipe, Save, & Share on IG here

Oxox Coach K

#lifelessons #Lessonslearnedthehardway #sundaychurch #selfhealing

January 26, 2023

Hard Truths Why You Struggle With Food & Fitness

Let’s start at the beginning.
Because we know the statistics.

We know that obesity has quadrupled since the 1950s.

We know that diabetes has increased from around 1.5 million people in the 1950s to over 34 million today, 90% or more of whom have type 2 diabetes, which is preventable.

We know that roughly 50% of American adults have cardiovascular disease and 70% of American adults are on some kind of prescription medication.

We know that we get 1.5 to 2 hours less sleep per night than a hundred years ago.

We know all of this stuff, because we are constantly bombarded with these statistics, hammered over the head with them until they lose their meaning.

But what we don’t talk much about (& we should), is the inner root cause of WHY these statistics exist.

“Losing weight” or “getting in shape” repeatedly score the top ten of people’s New Year’s resolutions. If you, too, have declared that you “finally want to get fit in 2023,” then it’s time to look at where you’re at.

Have you changed? Or have you given up on your fitness goals again — like so many years before?

If you have been trying to become a fitter, healthier version of yourself & repeatedly failed, you might need to come to grips with a few uncomfortable fitness truths.

If you take them to heart & act accordingly, you are well on your way to becoming the fittest & healthiest you can be. Let’s dive in!

Save & share! What’s mine is yours!
As Deepak Chopra says, “No one owns anything.”

oxox Coach K

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Coaching, Guides, Codes, & Resources Here!

January 9, 2023

8 Strong Life Lessons You Can Literally Start Applying Today To Improve Your Life

It was like getting glasses & actually seeing for the first time.⁣
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Those “blobs” – they were trees. They were flowers & so much more.⁣
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Most people spend the first half of their lives collecting and the second half choosing what to keep.

“So now that you’re 40, which lessons do you plan to carry with you?”⁣
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A friend asked me this question on my 40th birthday. At the time, I didn’t have a great answer. Actually I think my eyes glazed over a lil bit from the enormous amount of information running through my brain.⁣
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Looking back, I realized the reason I write to y’all is so you can learn from not only what I have learned, but from my mistakes & experiences so that you can be a better human faster than I was.⁣
THAT is being a good leader.⁣
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It’s not about acting like you know everything or being “sugar & spice & everything nice.” “Nice,” in my opinion, is telling the truth & that doesn’t always make you the most popular, but it does make you someone who stands for something larger than themselves & accountable.⁣
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I started my fitness, nutrition coaching, & social media journey 15+ years ago. During that time, I’ve written & shared thousands of blogs, posts, & videos, most rooted in life lessons learned & weeding out what matters from what doesn’t & what’s gonna help the most people out there.⁣
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Here are more lessons the world — and the amazing people (like you) I’m lucky to have along with me for the ride — have taught me that I plan to carry with me as long as the Universe will have me here.⁣
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It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you’re in motion. The less time you spend thinking and the more time you spend doing, the closer you’ll get to the life you want.⁣
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Try some of these on for size and just run with’em. Report back to me when your life is awesome.⁣
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I’m grateful for each & every one of you that read, share, & unpack your bags of life right beside me.⁣
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oxox Coach K⁣

December 30, 2022

The Year I Give Up. 8 Bad Habits Preventing Your Dreams From Becoming Reality

I was staring at a terribly unflattering close-up of my face on my iPhone screen. Kinda like the terribly unflattering videos in the Target checkout line.

Staring at my iPhone, I was waiting for a client to accept our FaceTime call.

“Why the hell do reflections trigger us?” I thought.

I should have used those 10 seconds of wait time to express gratitude for this technology that allows us to connect from all over the world!

And yet all I could focus on was this red sun spot I have in the middle of my forehead & the fact my eyes looked tired af.

I moved the phone to a different angle to see if I could get a “better view.” I pulled at my eyes for an instant eye lift. I immediately started brainstorming solutions to these “imperfections.”

Was this something Botox could solve?
Would I need to invest in some kind of fancy cream or treatment?

I’m disappointed to say that all of this flashed through my mind in those 10 seconds, but I keep things on the real reel here & I’m just like you.

“Only from a place of self love do you have permission to change yourself,” I kept telling myself.
And that is what I remind myself every time the criticism Gremlin creeps in.

I understand it’s hard to break this cycle of self-critique. Especially when you’ve experienced trauma like being made fun of as a kid or raised in an environment where achieving & people pleasing were the only ways you felt you could receive love.

I realized years ago I needed to break these bad habits & started practicing daily gratitude & being present in my body as it was.

If you ask me today what my top beauty advice would be, I would say this…

Look in the mirror less, obsess less about things that don’t add true value to your life & look at the rest of the world to see what you could be using your time for instead.

I now use my extra time for growth & nourishment in the forms of education, service, money, personal development, health, self care, & making memories with loved ones.

I decided 2023 would be the year I give up. The year I nourish.

I owe it to myself, to you, to my dreams, & to the legacy I want to leave here that doesn’t have a damn thing to do with a red sunspot on my forehead.

Cheers to 2023 – the year I. Give. Up.

Swipe, save & share if this resonates with you!

oxox Coach K

December 21, 2022

Three Life Lessons I Learned From A Terminally Ill Man That Started With A Pick Up Line

One of the best lines I’ve ever heard was delivered to me by a terminally ill man. He knew I was looking for something more, more specifically something within myself. Guess I looked like I needed a laugh!

I was working in patient access as a phlebotomist & registration right out of college (Which I LOVED!). I didn’t know if I needed to go back to school, I was unhappily married & more so unhappy with myself, physically & mentally.

He said, “I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away! So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you like to do?”

I laughed, “Self sabotage, apparently.”

He passed away from lung cancer a few months later. He was one of many people I got to know (& lose) in my time working in healthcare.

The message I want to share with all of you is just a short synopsis of the golden nuggets he shared with me.

He said, “Being close to fear & death, in many ways, taught me to live. Successful & happy people don’t self-sabotage. They quietly quit the past. So what is it you need to let go of? What lights you up & fills you with purpose & fulfillment? That’s your answer to making changes to live your heaven everyday.”

It wasn’t a transformation overnight but decades of making different decisions & shifting my perspective because of that one conversation.

I went to radiology school. I started doing sh*t I loved. I started slowly forgiving & loving myself. I started releasing people & habits that didn’t serve (which meant a divorce years later). It meant changing numerous jobs, failed relationships, & trying on a multitude of hats in every facet of life over my 40 years.
And I continue evolving, trying on new hats, & making mistakes, too.

3 lessons that I took from this gentleman:

Life (& the world) is a malfunctioning machine, the more pissed off we let ourselves become about it, the more likely we are to crash. Try again.
Happiness is not a consumable product or end goal. It is not something you find by searching or achieving. It is an arising byproduct of a fulfilling, well-lived life.
A well-lived life has more to do with perspective than anything else. As long as you can evolve & laugh, there is hope.

oxox Coach K

December 17, 2022

Confessions of a Saturday morning shameless selfie…

Daily confessions of a shameless morning selfie…⁣
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In case you needed the reminder, it’s OK to be sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton🤚🥃⁣
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Yellowstone. Dudes I love this show.⁣
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I have not been so obsessed with a show since Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill, & Sex & the City.⁣
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To my new followers you’ll find I talk about all kinds of real life sh*t on here. Love, food, relationships, money, fitness – they’re all connected.⁣
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If you meet me in person I want you to be able to say, “You’re just like you are on social media!” Because that’s how it should be.⁣
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Some personal things about me…⁣
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I’m not naturally “feminine” per se. It’s a skill I’ve had to develop.⁣
4 words: Bull in China Shop🐮⁣
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As I aged I noticed how trauma affected the balance of my masculine & feminine energy.⁣
👉Trauma from from being made fun of as an overweight kid⁣
👉feeling I had to achieve to be loved⁣
👉or being liked simply for my looks & not the totality of all that I am⁣
The list could go on…⁣
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I emotionally disconnected, became avoidant, & flirted more on the line of masculinity rather than embrace my femininity.⁣
✅Thank you therapy.⁣
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My therapist asked me about my sex life. “Do you like to be the more dominant one?” (felt like I needed a shot of tequila at this point😂)⁣
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I guess I never noticed how rough around the edges I was until a boyfriend criticized me for slammin cabinet doors. He’d yell at me.⁣
I said we’ll maybe you’re just fragile🤷‍♀️😆 Obviously💁🏼‍♀️that relationship ended.⁣
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It made me wanna change myself because I thought, well, there’s something wrong with me.⁣
I changed for him & that cycle of losing myself in relationships continued for years.⁣
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I’m grateful for every single piece of 50 shades of fxcked up that makes me — ME. ⁣
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One of the best decisions you’ll ever make is to invest in therapy & always be seeking to be a better version of yourself.⁣
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Tell yourself today👉you weren’t made to fit in, you were made to move mountains🏔 ⁣
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Oxox Coach K #saturdaymorning #butfirstcoffee

December 15, 2022

Life & love advice I wished I knew at 20 that I know now at 40

A meaningful post I feel for many out there…

Ran into a friend today reminiscing about summer & old times, relationships & new energy we’re both looking forward to for 2023.

We laughed about what if we knew back then what we know now 👀

Ever thought about that too?

So, we came up with a list…swipe & enjoy!

We also talked about how the people who are comfortable being alone will never waste your time with dating games.

Zero bullshit. If they’re special, you’ll know & you’ll know you’re special too because they choose to spend time with you over their favorite person, themself.

Hi. It me 😆👋

⁣I thoroughly enjoy straight forward people who take the lead & tell me exactly what they want. You always know where they stand.

People who have taken the time to be alone & be ok with it are basically interviewing you to replace ourself as our new best friend & we really don’t want to give up that position but we are also intrigued & hopeful that there is more out there❤️

Whatcha thinkin?

Oxox

Coach K

December 13, 2022

Therapy Confessions about dating & things that make me want to drink

Therapy confessions👉Things people ask me that make me laugh, want to drink🥃 & smoke a cigar😂(💁🏼‍♀️like I need a reason sip bourbon & smoke a cigar but whatever🙃)⁣

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Why are you single?⁣

Are you getting married again?⁣

Don’t you want kids?⁣

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Listen, I admittedly was a serial monogamist the majority of my life. I was the girl that always had a boyfriend.

I had only dated & kissed 2 guys up until the age of 27. Don’t worry, I made up for it quickly after my 1st divorce😆why lie.⁣ They call it the “Hoe Phase” for y’all not familiar👀

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I don’t think I ever really learned how to “date.” ⁣

I honestly had no idea WHAT I was doing.

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It’s like I just wanna hang with an awesome person, go adventuring & do cool sh*t with. One I love being around, that’s easy & down the road if it turns into something more, that’s the end goal🤷‍♀️ ⁣

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Had a follower ask what I thought she should do about dating & marriage…everyone laugh now😹 ⁣

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So we talked…⁣

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Don’t know if I’ll ever get married again, never say never. I know the people meant for me, find me. Hell I’m not even sure what the right answer is anymore nor do I care.⁣

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I feel relationships are whatever you choose to define them as, not what society tells you. I don’t feel you need a contract for happiness or validation.⁣

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By dating you do figure out what you don’t like so you know what you do like.⁣

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THINGS NOT TO DO:⁣

Don’t say yes to men or women who aren’t suitable for you, don’t ignore red flags just because you don’t want to be single. Don’t do things you don’t agree with just to keep a relationship going. Don’t dishonor your own values just so you aren’t lonely. Don’t lose yourself. Don’t lose faith in love.⁣

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One day, you’ll understand the price is too high to pay to lose yourself — the most important person in your life.⁣

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All of your painful experiences craft you into the impeccable person you are today. ⁣

And the right person will appreciate every part of you, your story & let you live life on your own terms.⁣

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The right person feels like freedom & home imo.⁣ You can’t read a book to tell you how to feel…

You can read all the books in the world but if you can’t read yourself you can’t efficiently execute anything.⁣

#shitmytherapistsaid

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Has anyone else felt they read all the books but in honesty you realized you were a really sh*tty executor, too?😆👋⁣

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A painful truth brought up in therapy one time was the realization that when I felt anything or anyone was touching the walls of my freedom or made me feel “unsafe” or “wrong” — I’d run.⁣

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Confessions of a recovered avoidant🙋‍♀️

It was fear. I had a follower ask me today if I’ve ever been afraid of anything so much that I ran from it. Fxck me.🤦‍♀️ It forced me to painfully sit there & reflect.

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I realized thru experiences & relationships what I should’ve been asking myself during periods of discomfort was, “Is this relationship or experience making me want to up level into a better woman?”

I stayed in a LOT of situation-ships & cohabitations far longer than I should have because of fear.

I also RAN from a lot of potential relationships because of fear. Fear to be in a situation-ships or comfortably numb cohabitation again.

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I didn’t have the tools back then or self awareness to assess/navigate relationships & life experiences effectively.

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If you feel you have to appear a certain way to receive validation, respect, or love — you need to figure out what it is inside you that makes you want to change to be more accepted & worthy.⁣

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Look for the pebbles in your shoes, they may not be large stones but they will cut you after time.⁣

All right, hope my ramblings and therapy sessions helped you toO!

Love & hugs,

Coach “no longer in my hoe phase (thank the Lord 🙏😄)” K

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