Confessions of another dirty bathroom photo…
I ate 63g of carbs yesterday.
I used to be hungry all the time.
I hate sharing my food.
Other things I don’t share are toothbrushes & wieners but those stories probly aren’t IG appropriate & sure to spark conversations that’ll go down the gutter rather quickly.
Been throwin in some 2 a days the last couple weeks on days I have evenings free to experiment. Been craving carbs after my workouts in the evenings, so I honor my body & listen to her. My carbs of choice are rice cakes, easily tracked, portable, & don’t typically cause gut issues in moderation with my Crohn’s disease & autoimmune needs. Quantity varies, I am able to moderate these now. So far so good.
They help me with recovery, lower my cortisol, & help me sleep. Transparently sharing my experiences – go your own way. I stick to meat & eggs for everything else, rice cakes only post workout after an evening WOD with the 5:30 crew. I don’t crave them when I don’t need them. Rest days & days I stick to my morning workouts I don’t want them. Proud of my body & mind for supporting me in intuitive, nurturing ways compared to my self sabotaging self years ago.
Went back to CrossFit & Beats class more regularly. I realized how much more enjoyable & effective my workouts are with community. Being more social was a 2022 intention of mine, Its fed my soul & stoked my hunger in more ways than one & got me thinkin…
I remember being hungry all the time even after a huge meal, I still wanted dessert. I noticed my friends were able to eat smaller portions & be satisfied. I felt ashamed. As I aged & became more self aware, a sense of amazement & awakening crept over me…
Did this mean that the bottomless hunger I felt wasn’t physical hunger after all? Could I sit down at a meal & push away my plate, full & satisfied, without the urge to overeat?
I could, but only after I figured out that I wasn’t only hungry for food. I was hungry for enjoyment & satisfaction, & not just in my belly, but in my whole life.
Somewhere as a kid, between farm chores, playing with My Little Ponies & going on my first diet, I lost track of the idea that I was allowed to enjoy my body, my food, & just being alive. I decided that always feeling hungry & vaguely dissatisfied was part of growing up.
I had to learn the bigger lesson – that hunger isn’t simply about filling our bellies, but about something deeper: a hunger for connection, enjoyment, & love.
From my own experience & awakening of learning to feel full, body & heart, I hope you find ways to satisfy your inner hunger. To be continued in another post at some time, let this be a conversation starter with yourself.
oxox Coach K