Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
I really don’t care if 1 or 1,000+ people read my posts. I didn’t always start out with this mindset tho. There was a time I saw myself as insignificant if a larger number of people didn’t “like” things I shared daily.
The greatest lesson I ever learned was advice given to a bellboy in 1922 on how to be happy in life by Albert Einstein.
I mean isn’t that what we all are searching for? I’d tell you you’re full of sh*t if you said no.
Tis the time of the top 9.
I’m always surprised by what comes up. It’s crazy to see what the digital world views as your top 9 “most important” posts of the year.
These were mine.
So back to the Einstein thing & message of this post…
The story goes that has Einstein was exiting his hotel in Tokyo, a bellhop came up to deliver something & instead of giving him a monetary tip, Einstein handed him 2 pieces of paper.
On the 1st he scribbled what has now been termed Einstein‘s theory of happiness:
“A calm & modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”
I took this advice to heart & this is how I strive to live my life.
I am happy because I don’t want anything from anyone.
I know money is just energy & there is always abundance.
Achievements & productivity don’t define me & titles really don’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things.
Everything I do is in the name of growth, love, & Joy.
I realized when I lived life simply doing things I loved with enjoyment, the time passed by effortlessly & the things that were meant for me found me & I was always provided for.
You may be sitting there thinking this may be Pollyanna but may I remind you on that second piece of paper he handed to the bellhop:
I’ve talked about how I choose a word every year. I choose a word I desire to embrace & embody. This year, & it also, now, being the start of #worldcarnivoremonth – I feel maybe it should be BEEF 🥩🐮🦾😜
2 years “carnivore” & a lifetime to go. #bodybybeef #Merica
The word I choose helps me to make decisions, to think, to feel, to BE the essence of that word in every facet of my life. I have learned over 39 trips around the sun in this lifetime to be my own accountability partner, my own best friend, my own favorite – my most important love.
I learned to love my body because it is the longest commitment & only forever home I’ll ever have.
I learned to love my weirdness, my mind, my heart, & my spirit because it makes me, ME. And nobody else can look like me or BE ME. Same for you.
I can’t believe I’ll be 40 this year, I remember when I thought 25 was old, then 30 was old, & now it seems 40 is the new 20. I can tell ya I feel a whole helluva lot better as an almost 40 something than my 20 year old self.
My journey has been both pleasure & pain. I’m sure yours has been too. I understand.
I hear you, see you, support you.
I’m right beside you unpacking & packing those bags sippin on that cup of coffee or cocktail, pick your poison.
I’m not writing this post today, on 1-1-2022, to tell you what to do, or to tell you I have all the answers to whatever you want to change or troubles you, but I am writing this to tell you that you can do it. I’m writing this to tell you that I believe in you.
I used to pick 5-10 new goals each year. I realized a singular day on the 1st of the year, setting goals like I was “supposed to” never turned me magically into Superwoman. It didn’t magically give me the health I wanted, the body, the career, the money, the friends, the love I desired.
I was still the same ole weird lil creature that I am, still overwhelmed with trying to change too much all at once, still “shoulding” all over myself. Still lost in all the information & society’s expectations.
Within a month or so, I failed or fell off the wagon & had to start over.
Smaller.
With lower expectations.
Shrinking myself.
F*ck that sh*t.
I’ve told y’all before, you can’t live a BIG, full, ABUNDANT life on an empty tank.
For a few years, I gave up on resolutions entirely. Then, I discovered the book, “One Word” & it changed my perspective. Instead of a sh*t ton of goals, I set intentions to embody 1 goal, 1 word, & that worked a lot better.
That concept is using your word as a theme for your year.
My word for this year is ‘Abundance.’ My word for last year was ‘Joy.’ Other words I’ve used were peace, growth, & grace.
I challenge you to simply glance at the year ahead & choose a word you’d like to embody as a pillar & map of growth.
Quick annoucement to my baby carnivores & people wanting to try a meat-based diet, my group coaching is open & ready to welcome you with open arms. Coaching FAQ’s in link in IG bio and HERE
You can always dm me and don’t forget to sign up for our email list HERE
➡️I slept until almost 7. Our patient numbers in the ER are insane. Grateful for a day off right meow.🐱
➡️I Googled #fengshui for the new year yesterday & they said to wear red or yellow underwear for good luck 🤷♀️🍀🩲 contemplating buying some😄 although I really hate wearing underwear. Jus sayin. I know I’m not the only one, don’t lie.
➡️Set routines not resolutions for the new year. You have to BE the lifestyle & the person you want. Routines will get you there, vapid resolutions with no true intention or action will not.
➡️Figured out how to keep Pete from waking me up when I don’t have to get up early. Set my auto brew on the coffee pot maker till later. ☕️ 🐈⬛ He hates it when I work on my computer in the mornings. He’s a Snuggle bug.
He wants to sit on my lap!
Holy sh*t tomorrow is a new year. I know they say as you get older time flies by, they ain’t kiddin. We’re only here for a short blip.
Simply sharing things on my mind & heart this mornin. Swipe through for lessons I wished I’d learned earlier & “That Girl” habits to bring into 2022.
Click for full post on IG!
I just want to thank y’all for your love, your kindness, your dedication to yourselves to learn & grow & do that with me, here.
For Christmas last year I gave away alcohol & money as gifts. Merry Christmas Probly do the same this year. Why lie?
I also bought my family Christmas Eve dinner – which was @doordash of all the delicious wings from @tpindyi69 Twin Peaks because that the only place open & none of us wanted to cook.
Just thought I’d not bullshxt around & put that out there We had the best Christmas ever simply because we were together.
End of the year reflections & intentions… Do you know I had never had a Christmas before that where I hadn’t worried about money?
There was a time I didn’t know if I’d have enough money to buy eggs & I lived out of my office. Last year was the 1st year I had enough money that I didn’t have to worry about it.
There was a time I could’ve told you how to sneak into every pool & hotel to snag free breakfast to save money.
Brand name clothes were not something I could align funds for. Goodwill, Walmart, second hand & the discount rack, bishes.
In college, I stayed home while my sorority sisters went out shopping.
Self confidence, vibrancy, energy, mindset, frequency & self-awareness were not things in my consciousness at the time.
I viewed money as a bad thing, something I had to work really really hard for & always felt there was never enough. And if I wasn’t saving every penny, that made me a bad person.
I came from a middle class world. We didn’t dare leave lights on, waste food, buy “unnecessary things”, or be caught not working or doing chores because that was viewed as being lazy.
From childhood I thought love was earned thru accomplishments, productivity, & what you looked like.
I felt I was never good enough to attain the life, love & wealth – things that other, luckier more affluent people had.
Totally mind fxcked me for decades. I’m grateful now to have healed to the point of peaceful evolution & gratitude.
The holidays are hard on people. I get you.
The New Year is like some imaginary clean slate that people think on January 1 everything will be different when they truly have the opportunity to clean the slate any day they want.
I paid off more than $43,000 in debt last year — in a damn pandemic. Dunno how. I had faith that I could & let the Universe take care of the rest. I paid off all my credit cards, a consolidation loan I was paying $730 a month on for 3 years. I purchased a new vehicle, finally restored my credit & spent money on the things that brought me joy without apology. This post really isn’t about money but I needed to write this stuff out & just give thanks for this point in my life. Maybe you can relate too. I realized I’m my own best friend. I love being alone but I’m never lonely. I don’t need anyone else to complete me — I am complete. I am ready to finally let an aligned special someone in if it’s the right time. The past 2 years have been painful as hell too, probably 2 of the most painful & biggest roller coasters I’ve been on in my 39 years – in every facet of my life. I’ve had to swallow my ego more times than all the shots on my 21st birthday y’all Every year I reflect on what I’ve been thru & what I could do better. I come up with a motto & a word to symbolize intentions for my next year. My motto for 2021 was: “Wherever I go, there I am.” Still is.
2022 is: “The wheel turns.”
Because wherever I go I will choose to make the most of it & cultivate a life & environment that brings me joy. I will honor my changes, emotions, needs & evolve as I need to. I will have purpose, impact, & I will serve to the best of my abilities. My word for 2021: JOY. I promise to still live with JOY.
My word for 2022: Abundance. So I’ll raise my glass w/y’all, cheers!
Happy Saturday from the VA btw and GO COLTS! Headed to the game after my shift
It was like I was jumping into my car to go somewhere without the keys…
The number one block preventing me from transformation was my BRAIN.
Like 90% of all transformation comes from awareness & resilience. I didn’t know that when I started.
When you are at your lowest point, that is your greatest door to change. A big friggin door that smacks you in the face!
I remember the morning after I wrecked my truck. I fell asleep at the wheel. Tired, going through a divorce at the time, living with my parents, had been drinking that day.
My mom looked at me as I walked into the kitchen & I told her what had happened. I said, “Mom I have a problem.”
She replied, “Yeah I saw your problem sittin in the driveway. Congratulations, you’ve hit rock bottom. There’s only one way left to go & that’s UP from here!”
Trying to navigate my way through life, more specifically my weight loss & health journey, I thought my success & happiness would come when I found the perfect diet. I thought if I could just find an easy way to restrict food, lose fat fast, & shrink to the smallest version of myself my problems would be solved.
It wasn’t all my food, most of my problems stemmed from my thoughts & the story I kept telling myself.
Your brain is the control center for all activities in your body, mind, & reality you live. It regulates your breathing, heartbeat, emotions, thoughts, words, conversations you hold internally & externally, & many more vital processes.
Yet, most of us think success comes from singular things like diets, workouts, having just the right job or relationship, when we’re harming our brains every single day. And most of the time, we’re not even aware of it.
I started noticing positive changes & ease of life when I set new intentions & habits like spending more time outside, listening to my gut, doing things that brought me joy like coloring & walking, light therapy, gratitude, morning movement, less time on my phone, using blue blocking glasses, not drinking tap water, moving more throughout the day, removing toxic people/things/habits/social media & cultivating an up leveling environment. All products, codes, & links are in the link in my Instagram bio.
I wanna share these with you so you can learn them quicker than I did.
The 4 habits crippling your brain & blocking success!
SLEEP
Y’all this a biggie! Most of us don’t get enough & realize the impact quality sleep has on our overall health & energy. It affects EVERYTHING from our mood, energy, performance, fat loss, muscle gain, body function, ability to give sh*ts about the truly important things we should give sh*ts about.
When was the last time you didn’t sleep well but felt great & performed at your best? Never. I’ll answer that for you.
The consequences of sleep deprivation can be fatal & range from dementia, brain cell loss, early memory loss, or even Alzheimer’s. These effects slow down your thinking, impair your memory, & hinder learning. Research even shows that sleep deprivation might shrink your brain. When you sleep, your brain gets a chance to recover & process what you’ve learned & experience throughout the day.
THE FIX
Most people need 7-8 hours of sleep to feel & perform their best. However, it’s also important to consider the QUALITY of your sleep. Set regular bedtimes, wear blue blocking glasses after sunrise & light therapy in the mornings. I use Swanwick glasses. Put down the electronics an hour before bed, create a dark, cool environment by turning the heat down & getting black out curtains, reduce caffeine intake to mornings only & under 300mg/day, take a natural melatonin & or magnesium supplement before bed. Helpful supplements I’ve used are Natural Vitality Calmful Sleep, Relax Liposomal from Nuethix Formulations, & Zzzyquil. On Amazon Favorites List here
2. DOING “NOTHING” One of the most underrated ways you might be harming your brain is by NOT USING IT. Your brain is like a muscle & like they say, “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” We are designed to move & create & think. Challenging thoughts, new skills, different hobbies, interesting & meaningful conversations, reading, podcasts, nurturing social media, YouTubes, new experiences, puzzles, games, coloring, cross stitching, painting, & crosswords can help stimulate your brain & develop neuroplasticity, which refers to the brain’s ability to adapt. Like any muscle, your brain needs to be used and flexed to stay in shape.
THE FIX Research proves that brain exercises have a positive effect on our cognitive abilities. So, what are you waiting for? Ask yourself what you could do today or this week to learn something new & train your brain. Start with choosing something that brings you Joy! I enjoy coloring, writing, learning, exploring new places I’ve never been & talking to new people!
3. NOT MOVING
I’ll say it again, we were made to MOVE. Living a sedentary lifestyle can have dangerous effects on our mental & physical health. An inactive lifestyle comes at high costs, such as heart disease, obesity, diabetes, depression, loss of strength, & even dementia.
A study found that a sedentary lifestyle also has negative effects on our brains. For example, it negatively influences our memory. There’s nothing wrong with chillin on the couch & taking a time out, we need that balance too. However, the problem is that millions of people, especially those working from home or with desk jobs are victims of a sedentary lifestyle (because you choose to be). 10k steps per day, make that a goal.
THE FIX Beating a sedentary lifestyle is mostly about incorporating daily activity into your life that you enjoy & becomes a success habit. It’s not about exercising hours a day but being intentional to make movement a vital part of your day.
Teach yourself to be a morning person, get your workout or some kind of movement done first thing. The most successful people make this a part of their morning routines. Take short walk breaks every 20-30 minutes, walk after meals, park further away, take the stairs, wind down with a short walk at night, do yoga, stretch, run, do group classes, walk around your house & lift dumbbells during commercials – just do something! I walk around our ER & around my CT machine in between patients, I walk after meals & work out in the morning. I also have a pair of extra 10 & 3lb weights & a resistance band I keep in my radiology suite for a quick circuit during down time.
4. NIX THE SUGAR
According to Fernando Gomes Pinilla, professor of neurosurgery at UCLA, what you eat affects how you think. 100% agree! If you’re like me, I’m one that has suffered with gut issues & food addiction. Never had a great relationship with carbs or sugar, nor could I digest them well.
Research also proves that a high-sugar diet slows down our brains as well as interferes with memory & learning. What do we tend to crave in times of stress or boredom? Typically highly caloric foods chocked full of sugar, carbs, & fat. When we get overwhelmed & stressed, these cortisol spikes make us feel the need for more energy & the easiest way to get that instant hit is through sugar. And that’s exactly what most junk food delivers: minimal nutrients, low quality oils, additives, sugar, & salt. The problem is that we are overfed & undernourished as a whole because of readily available “junk” food. Malnutrition doesn’t only harm your waistline but also affects brain function & development. Our brains make up 2% of our body weight, but they use 20% of the resources. That’s why the food you consume has such a huge effect on your thinking & behavior.
THE FIX
Cut out the crap. Protein & healthy fats should make us the majority of your meals. Choose foods you love & ones that do not trigger negative physical or mental problems like gut issues, mood swings, & disordered eating habits like binging & emotional eating.
Make sure you’re eating enough, We should be eating out true maintenance calories the majority of the year. You can use the TDEEcalculator.net to find yours & it’ll give you a suggested group of macros. I like my protein set around 1g/lb of body weight or goal weight if you have more to lose. I’ve personally even gone up to 1.5g/lb of body weight & for smaller individuals like myself doing a more meat-based, low carb lifestyle.
My meal 2 at work today! #meatbars 😉 Airfry. 380, 12 minutes thru preheat cycle. Surf & Turf! Air fried shrimp, 80% ground beef, & 93% Perdue ground chicken! Cleaning out the fridge. I bring an airfryer to work with me. Have an instant vortex 6 qt. on Amazon fav list. These also re heat well. Info all over my IG, scroll thru, check highlights & link in IG bio!
Invest in a coach or practitioner or qualified individual to help you! My Coaching FAQ’s are in the link in my Instagram bio & here!
AS always, to my humans out there just tryna be better! oxox Coach K
Feeling pretty & PRETTY STRONG this mornin. Shamelessly admiring my arms in the freakin awesome lighting🦾 @hotworx.fishers
Your homework is to take time to simply love on yourself today, too. You’re magnificent!
Photo dump on IG of my morning success habits which includes me writing to y’all (& myself) every single day.
Workout at HotWorx Fishers. Loving the new Blast workout!
Post workout breakfast. 1.25 lbs of 80% ground beef #meatbars Airfry. 380. 12 minutes. Did not consume the fat in the bottom of the airfyer to make it leaner. Recipe is on my IG, link in bio & in highlights. I bring an Airfryer to work . Instant Vortex 6qt.
Happy light! I use this portable light everyday for 30 minutes. On Amazon Favorites List on IG. Link in IG Bio.
I had a great workout & sweat sesh while learning & listening to @iamsahararose & @itskrista talk about The Law of One. Well done sisters👏🏼 this was mind-blowing 🤯 & remarkably expansive!
Sparked what I felt nudged to channel & share with you guys:
Uncomfortable truths I wished I had realized & accepted earlier in life …
Here goes…
Happiness is the byproduct of living your purpose. Happiness doesn’t make you happy, having purpose makes you happy. Once you become at peace with your purpose, your life & your body will fall in line. You won’t feel the need to numb & self sabotage with emotional eating, gluttony, self-loathing, overspending, sleeping around, excessive drinking – pick your poison.
Talking with clients & reflecting on my own journey, the reason we self sabotage is because we’re trying to find love & stimuli outside of ourselves & feel we have no purpose, no significance.
It’s like eating when you’re bored. It’s like the elderly & their partner dies or they’re put in a nursing home or you take their keys away, they often expire shortly after. It’s like taking away their purpose.
Gut check moment, right?!
Learn to redirect your mind & you then learn how to redirect your life. It’s your choice.
We all have definitions of heaven & hell. We are all deliciously unique individuals. Just let people BE. Loving someone in the hopes that they will change is not truly loving someone. Truly loving someone is giving them the free will to live as they choose. This includes learning to lovingly release & let people go. Remember everything happens for you not to you. Stop trying to cram a round peg into a square hole.
Not everyone wants to be in the same kind of “relationships.” The definition of a relationship will be different for us all. We’re all One. One Love. There is no right or wrong way to live your life, it’s all an experience of your choosing.
I personally feel there is no requirement to have to slap labels or legally binding contracts on relationships to make them more significant or lucrative.
What “successful” looks like, what “beautiful” looks like…if they make you happy & fulfill some part of you, let it BE & savor the moments. And if you choose at some time to be exclusive or to change your definition in a different way, let that BE & savor the moment or the season. Stop over complicating shxt.
Have a partner who wants to see you thrive & evolve WITH YOU or no partner at all. Y’all, being around energy vampires who’re trying to keep you small is painful af – AND your decision. One of my best friends, as well as myself, have been in a relationship(s) where the other persons needs & goals were always way more important. You felt all that mattered was that you made it as easy as possible for THEM to move forward & be comfortable. If you achieved success, they were jealous, felt you were overshadowing, it was never as good as theirs, & your goals were ridiculous.
Even though we sometimes can’t choose whether we fall in love or not, we can indeed choose whether we stay with someone. There’s a big difference in being alone & lonely. I will repeat this to my very last breath. If your partner constantly dulls your shine & all you feel is your energy waning & seeking to people please, it’s probably the wrong partner.
A rich relationship should be full of support, nourishing challenge, & encouragement. If someone doesn’t want to see you achieve your dreams, they won’t be there when you hit rock bottom either. Sorry Sis, no, quit bullshxttin yourself. And just because a relationship has lasted “a long time” doesn’t mean it’s working.
Life isn’t “fair” it just “is.” If you expect life to be fair, you’ll be disappointed & never reach your potential. Shxt happens, & sometimes, there’s no reasonable explanation for why things happen or why people do what they do.
Ultimately I do believe we manifest our lives & attract what we get, we attract what we are. So think about that & control what you can control, which is your vibration & reaction to things.
There won’t ever be a better time to start. Most people waste their lifetime procrastinating instead of living their desired life because they think there will be a “better time to start.” You never know how much time you have left, & life is certainly too short to postpone experiences that bring you joy. Making a wrong decision is better than making no decision. It’s like that saying I love SO much, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” 😂
Money is simply energy & it has power. No matter if you like it or not — money matters. Learn to love it. Learn to appreciate it. It isn’t bad. It doesn’t make people bad. The vast majority of the global population spends 40+ hours per week working for money. Most people hate their jobs, but stay because they need to “pay the bills.”
Many of us spend a significant part of our lives working for money, I personally LOVE working, it brings me happiness & a feeling of purpose, but most people deny its importance or they let it define them.
Stop denying the power & importance of money & start learning how to use it to your advantage & give back. Make it work FOR you, stop wasting it on useless things, use things love people, invest only in things that bring you joy & upleveling.
Money isn’t everything, but it certainly brings you freedom, the ability to give back, & makes life a whole helluva lot easier & more fun.
Social media can steal your time, energy, & your soul but it doesn’t have to. I have a love-hate relationship with Social media. The trolls make it unbearable some days, haters gonna hate, hurt people hurt people, etc. etc.
Your voice matters, don’t let other people stifle what you want to share with the world. Be proud of your life & your body. You can decide whether you use social media to make your life better or worse. You have control over what you consume & what you see.
Choose to be a creator, not a consumer of content. I loathe the word influencer, I choose to be an Authority. Sorta sweet, sorta Beth Dutton vibes. 🙅🏼♀️😉 Where my Yellowstone fans at?! 👋
Final thoughts… Life ain’t always easy but it’s always good. It’s a privilege to wake up & be alive. Don’t expect life to be fair, create your own rules. Or do as I do, I don’t do rules I do what feels right.🙃
If you constantly choose comfort & ignorance over courage & awareness, you’ll end up being the puppet of others. If you, however, manage to embrace the following truths, you might be able to design an extraordinarily fulfilling, purpose-driven life earlier than I did.❤️❤️🩹❤️🔥
I’ve never been good at asking for help. Not in school, not from friends, not from the doctor, therapy, not from mom & dad, not from anyone really.
Always had that “figure this shxt out for yourself” mindset.
I know now this stemmed from fear of being judged – fear of being wrong, fear of being viewed as weak & stupid & not being able enough to take care of myself.
In my 1st marriage, I was not the breadwinner. I depended on him for numerous things. To put a roof over my head. More expensive items & investments. Paying for vacations & when we went out to eat. And he provided, which I’m grateful. He’s a good man & I wish him the best to this day.
I didn’t have a lot of money. I was in debt. Still a hard worker but could just never get my head above water. I felt like a prisoner & hopeless & weak. I should’ve left years before I did for the both of us to thrive.
This fear of having to rely on someone else grew throughout my following relationships. I was the breadwinner for the majority of them. Fear of commitment & dependency turned me into the stereotypical emotionally & relationally avoidant. You could imagine the pain of having to say I was a “dependent” when I married a US Marine. Omg the sting.
Growing up on a farm you’re raised to be strong, productive, resislient, & self-sufficient. There wasn’t always someone there to help you. You had to learn to figure things out for yourself.
Which I guess is why I do well in radiology, too. We have to think on our feet, outside of the box. We often times work alone, we have to move patients by ourselves, we have to learn to get images & diagnostic exams done for your doctors with as much precision as possible so we can help save peoples lives.
We are the eyes of your physicians. If we don’t do an exam correctly & efficiently, a diagnosis could be missed or misdiagnosed which changes the trajectory of your life. If we inject the wrong contrast or don’t follow proper protocol, we can kill you.
Talk about pressure right?!
We’re not just monkey button pushers.
Xray school just exacerbated my issues with not asking for help. Stubborn. As. Hxll. I hated every moment of Xray school. You feel like you’re under constant scrutiny & criticism. It’s true, survival of the fittest & only the strongest survive
One of my favorite mentors, Dr. Stephen Cabral, sent an email yesterday about this very topic. Him & his team helped me heal from SIBO & a bacterial overgrowth years ago. I learned much from them about proper functional nutrition.
This really hit home for me too… You can apply it to any area of your life.
“If you encounter a forest & you know on the other side are your hopes & dreams, you’d want to get through the woods as fast as you can…
But most of us struggle, forever hacking through the bushes & branches, changing directions, getting lost, & wasting time…
While all along if we had just stopped before making the treacherous journey on our own & found a local guide that had traversed this forest thousands of times, that person could simply show us the paths they’ve cleared over the years.”
I don’t know if I needed to hear this, or someone else out there too, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I know I’m not the only one out there that has been conditioned to believe “figuring it out for yourself” is some badge of honor. Like I used to think not eating & beating the
out of my body was too.
I’ve learned I NEED to ask for help & it’s ok. That’s what we’re here for to help support, learn, & grow together, united.
It doesn’t mean you’re weak, stupid, or incompetent. It means you’re smart because no one knows everything & you should never be the smartest one in the room or you’re in the wrong room.
This is the fastest & most guaranteed path to success. On every level: health, weight, relationships, career, finances, spirituality.
If I can ever help in anyway, I am honored to be your guide. This was way longer than I expected but obviously a message that needed to get out there.
Wish you all the best Monday & start to your week!
This morning I I realized how messed up my relationships were.
I thought about chapters in the past, the struggles in particular. I talked about overcoming struggle yesterday.
(If you haven’t, check that blog out. I needed to hear it myself too. A swift kick in the🍑)
Food, body image, money, & love are all connected. My 29 year old self & sure as sh*t my 19 year old self had NO IDEA.
It all comes down to energetics & the way you FEEL about yourself.
I told y’all my body image issues, eating disorders, & fxckd up relationship with food & myself started at the age of 8.
I never felt pretty or significant. We had “enough” as a hardworking family of 5, growing up on a farm.
But as a child, often material “wealth” outweighs the truly important things like kindness & service.
So if you don’t have certain things or dress like the cool kids, you’re picked on & told that you’re poor & less worthy.
If you’re not skinny like the popular kids you’re told you’re fat & not worthy of love.
This wrecked my relationships with love, food, & money for decades.
As a result I racked up credit card debt to buy things to make myself feel more worthy.
I over ate & under ate to control my body thinking reaching a certain size would make me worthy of love. Exacerbating my poor health, disordered eating, & gut issues.
My romantic relationships we’re like rainbows of confusion, struggle, & continuously feeling lost.
We place value & control on specific things for validation in hopes of making ourselves FEEL a certain way.
Usually the feelings we’re chasing are to be loved, seen, heard, worthy, significant, & included.
We want to be CHOSEN & LOVED.
Over spending
Discounting & under valuing
Emotional eating & Disordered eating
Over exercising
Giving our bodies to people who don’t deserve them
People pleasing & playing small
Excessive drinking & drug use
In American society we tend to value thin bodies, financial wealth, titles, material wealth, “fitting in & following suit.”
Improvement in all of these areas of my life started with changing my mindset, my energetics around my worth, reminding myself money is just energy, thoughts became things & I controlled my reality by my reaction, reminding myself there is so much abundance in this world, I matter simply because I exist & because I have a kind heart & choose a life of service & purpose.
I felt some of you out there may have needed to hear this message this morning & know that you’re not alone.
I may be known as a “nutrition coach” & “Xray tech”, but a reminder there are so many more facets to you than labels, food, money, & body image.
And my doors are open if you need a listening ear who accepts you as perfectly imperfect as you are.
And what you are is incredible simply because you’re YOU.💕
I would say up until, let’s say a few years ago, it’s hard to pin down exactity (I made that word up btw), I feel I lived my life in a constant struggle.
Occasionally I still do, except now, I see the beauty & gift that comes from the grit of the struggle. We wouldn’t understand the contrast or be able to savor the warmth & joy of the good times.
We all struggle with our own demons in some way because we’re human.
The most common messages I receive are “How do I overcome X struggle?” In one short-ISH response, I’m gonna give you the advice I would give my own children if I had any.
Know I’m also writing this not just for y’all who are strugglin, but also to my former self & a reminder to this present woman. Advice I wish I had when I felt worthless, ugly, fat, insignificant, unloved, & like my whole world was collapsing around me & I just couldn’t dig my way out.
When I thought darkness & scarcity & sickness was just “My Story” until I realized it was more about changing my desires & how I felt vs changing my beliefs. There’s a difference. Changing your vibration & feelings will attract what you want much quicker than simply stating a changed belief. Attraction includes the word ACTION.
Going through struggle is not about focusing on the suffering or avoidance of, it’s about embracing overcoming adversity.
So my top 4 tips to those who are constantly on the struggle bus & hot mess express:
1. BEcome MORE When my life kicked me in the face, one thing that always snapped me back to my desired reality: the realization that I had to actually had to BEcome MORE. I had to BE & DO who I want to BEcome.
For me, I struggled with the facade I wasn’t a significant person worth knowing or loving – BECAUSE I hadn’t become a person worth knowing. I let every shadow, bad habit, & sh*tty thought take over my life like a black cloud.
I either made fun of others or hid in shame to cover up my own insecurities. Examples: I laughed at people in that mushy gushy love, thought having money made you “bad” or it was hard to make, I hid in shame, people pleasing, & stifled my potential because I never wanted to be seen as a failure, rejected, & different, mocked “skinny” girls because secretly I wanted to be them.
You are capable of so much more than you think. Your voice matters & you can bring about phenomenal change in this world if you just let go of your fear of what others think of you, of thinking you have to hide behind your fake azz social media, of fitting into society’s boxes, & anything else not serving you.
Choose to BEcome MORE.
2. EXTRAordinary takes being EXTRA. Fxcking own it. Frankly we’re lazy af as a society. We want everything to be easy peasy like taking a pill to get that “toned” physique we all desire. When the only way to truly get it & KEEP IT, is by consistency & creating an internal & external environment to support the person we wish to be.
You know I’m not one to sugar coat, literally & figuratively, if you’re struggling, it’s because you need to DO MORE to BEcome MORE than you’re currently doing. Do more of the good shiz like:
– Smile at people for no good reason. They’re free!
– Give compliments just because they make someone feel loved
– Hold the door open for people, be kind
– Go to the fxcking gym. Eat your beef.
– Get your face out of your phone & acknowledge people in line or the elevator, get off your phone at dinner & actually talk, be present
– Do more of what you love just because it brings you JOY
– Allow yourself to love without expectations & risk being hurt because it’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all
– Be unapologetic about loving yourself above all & realizing you owe no one anything
3. Experience More
I used to be scared sh*tless to think about hopping on a plane, road tripping alone, or striking up a conversation with anyone I didn’t know. It stifled me. Now I LOVE IT! I meet new people & friends everywhere I go.
Being married to a US Marine in one chapter of my life & experiencing the melting pot of the military opened my eyes to a whole new world & I will be forever grateful. It has made me more well-rounded & appreciative of other ethnicities & all backgrounds.
Traveling made me more compassionate, appreciative of how I was raised, & opened my eyes to the world beyond my “perfect” & “safe” small country town USA in McCordsville, Indiana.
Get out of your hometown, pack your suitcase, & roll. Not to escape life, but to give yourself the moment to explore & pause to go find yourself again.
4. Be Content with Enoughness
I felt like a failure the majority of my life because I didn’t “live up to society’s ‘normal’ timeline.” I’ve talked about this before, I thought by 40 I would have been married 18 years, have 2 kids, a white picket fence, & 18 years seniority at the same job since college.
LMFAO.
2 divorces, infertility, thousands of dollars in debt, more jobs than I can count or include on a 1 page resume, & decades of sickness & beating the sh*t outta my body later…
But like I stated before, you don’t appreciate the good times without the bad. I would not be the woman I am today, writing this, helping you, via these experiences without them. Embrace adversity & YOUR OWN TIMELINE. Life happens FOR US not to us.
You are enough simply because you exist. You will always be rich if you’re content with ENOUGH. Our future is not guaranteed, that’s really all we’re guaranteed.
Accumulating money, titles, things, followers, a shrinking number on the scale, abs, certain milestones, whatever you wanna insert here…are pointless quests if you don’t love who you are & where you are right now.
Repeat after me:
“Trust that some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet. There are going to be parties that leave you dancing until 6am, spontaneous adventures that teach you more than you ever learned in a classroom. There are going to be nights that will stay burned beneath your eyelids, memories that dance underneath your skin. Life is going to exceed your expectations, it is going to astonish you with its timing.
GRATITUDE: think & name off at least 3 things you’re grateful for & do at least one thing that brings you joy in the mornin. Smile more. Compliment more. Do at least one nice thing for someone every day.
MOVEMENT: get a walk or some kind of movement done 1st thing in the morning. Be intentional about getting your 10K steps in.
FOOD: eat nourishing food that does not cause any negative physical or mental triggers. Eat slow & mindfully. Hit your protein grams daily. At least 30-50g/meal. Average 2-3 meals/d, no snacking. Let your carbs & fat grams fall where they will. Eat at your maintenance calories the majority of the year. Drink at least 1/2 your body weight in oz of water daily + get in adequate electrolytes. Walk after meals, even 10 minutes. Eat your largest meal & carbs after your workout & taper meal sizes off later in the day.
WORKOUTS: strength train 3-4 x/week. Use cardio wisely, get in your daily steps.
SELF CARE: do sh*t you love everyday & fill your cup. Sleep 7-8 hrs/night. Take 2 rest days/wk. Sweat, get some sunshine & nature as much as you can.
MINDSET: make a vision board or list or “Alignment” board on Pinterest & fill it with visions, quotes, pictures, & expanders of the life, love, body, & person you desire to embody. Believe you are worthy & deserving. Listen to positive podcasts, read books, surround yourself with extraordinary people & a nurturing environment.
That’s it. Don’t make it harder than it is. Remember motivation is fleeting, but you have the choice to be a person who keeps commitments to themselves.
Now that know better…
Do better.
You DO have it all together, you just periodically forgot where you put it!
Oxox Coach K
Ps.
Mug is from Kroger!! How cute is this???
Tap for Google Drive PDF Link, also available in link in Instagram Bio
Just thought I’d not bullshxt around & put that out there 
and GO COLTS! Headed to the game after my shift 
